Description[]
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure VS Tsukihime!!
The most evil of vampires who left their humanity in the dust long ago are ready to tear each other to shreds!!
Interlude[]
Sharaku: Vampires. One of the most famous tropes in fiction. An evil bloodsucking night terror who steals the souls of whoever stands in their way.
MegaSonic: And tonight, these two immortal stalkers of the night are ready to go to battle at the cost of their humanity. Not that they’ll be missing it, mind you.
Sharaku: Dio Brando, the Joestar Bloodline’s Vampiric Nemesis!
MegaSonic: Michael Roa Valdamjong, number 28 of the 27 Dead Apostles.
Sharaku: I’m Sharaku Jr.!
MegaSonic: And I’m MegaSonicZX, and it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
Dio Brando[]
Sharaku: The year is 1880. A horse carriage in England falls off of a cliff, killing the driver and the mistress inside. Two survived the accident, father and son. The son would eventually grow up to be a great hero, inspiring generations of his progeny to come. This… isn’t about him, however, as an asshole dunkard came and, ahem, “saved them” under the disguise of looting their carriage. This was the father of a young boy who would grow up to be the greatest threat to the world ever known. The father of-
MegaSonic: DIO! Sorry, I had to shout it at least once.
Sharaku: Dio Brando was born into a life of poverty and abuse. Living on the dirty streets of London and with an aforementioned asshole dad, his heart was always cold. There, he learned how to cheat, steal and fight at the youngest of ages.
MegaSonic: That is, until his dear old dad finally passed away and cashed in the favor owed to him by the wealthy Joestar Family, the guys he saved from the carriage accident. George Joestar agreed to adopt Dio as a son, and give Dio the warm and caring life he never got to have. And I know that sounds nice and not at all like a villain origin, but don’t you feel bad for a second! Not only did Dio immediately start bullying his new brother Jonathan Joestar, HE WAS THE ONE WHO POISONED HIS DAD IN THE FIRST PLACE TO EVEN GET THERE! Dio’s always thinking two steps ahead on how to come out on top.
Sharaku: And he did this through an excellent three step process which he demonstrated against Jonathan. Step one! Kick your adopted brother’s ass in a boxing match in front of all his friends! Step two! Kiss his friend Erina before he gets the chance to get too close! Step three! BURN HIS DOG IN A FURNACE!
MegaSonic: That bastard. Oh yeah, he then proceeded to spend about five years gaslighting Jonathan into thinking they were friends, poisoned his dad, and then when Jonathan foiled said poisoning attempt…well, that’s when he dug into plan B. See, the Joestar family was in possession of this strange ancient stone mask Dio was fascinated by, since it could sprout seemingly deadly claws. At first, Dio thought this would serve as a clean way to kill Jonathan, but instead he learnt it turned people into fucking vampires. So when Jonathan exposed Dio for the crook he was, Dio stabbed George to dead and rubbed the Joestar blood all over the mask, and then-
Dio: I REJECT MY HUMANITY, JOJO!
MegaSonic: …yeah, that. That happened. Dio became a Vampire…well kinda. The Stone Mask doesn’t technically make you a Vampire, but rather evolves a human body to more closely resemble a race of ancient underground superhumans later known as the Pillar Men… though said Pillar Men were basically Vampires anyways. So I guess more accurately, he “transcended” humanity, but same deal. Dio’s got superpowers now.
Sharaku: Meaning he’s far stronger and faster than before, has claws that are perfect for cutting through ordinary humans, fangs (which he never uses for some reason), the ability to drink blood by stabbing his fingers into organisms, freezing his enemy by lowering their body temperature, shooting pressurized jets of liquid - the Space Ripper Stingy Eyes - out of his eyes that can pierce through humans, planting little Flesh Buds that can mind control people and on top of all of that… he can create zombies and weird chimera thingies.
MegaSonic: He can also resurrect the dead, and tap into his inner #LifeHalf by just… regenerating from nearly any form of physical damage. He’s been impaled, lost limbs, been bisected horizontally, and similar vampires like Straizo was able to pull himself back together after being nearly obliterated by some grenades. Given Dio’s obvious superiority over Straizo, he should be capable of this as well. In order to fuel his absurd regeneration, Dio needs to consume blood to keep pulling himself back together, which given he does that fairly regularly anyways, tends not to be a problem.
Sharaku: Understandably, once Jonathan Joestar saw how much of a monster Dio had become, he knew he had to put an end to his adopted brother once and for all. I mean, hell, even Speedwagon was afraid of Dio! In the burning ruins of his family mansion, Jonathan somehow came out on top, and trapped the vampire under a massive pile of rubble and wood, prematurely ending the menace once and for all… YEAH FUCKING RIGHT!
MegaSonic: Despite fire being one of his few weaknesses, Dio just…crawled out of the burnt down ruins of the mansion, hypnotized himself a few followers, and turned Jack the Ripper into his bitch and made him go hunt down Jonathan. Then made a woman eat her own baby, just for kicks. Man, this guy is evil.
Sharaku: To combat Dio’s waves of zombies and his evil vampiric powers, Jonathan mastered the powers of Hamon, an ancient martial art that harnesses the power of the sun. The perfect ability for completely decimating through hordes of the undead. It was this power that allowed the young and passionate Joestar to put down his vampire brother once and for all, and completely topple his plans of world domination.
(Transition Close)
Sharaku: EXCEEEEEEEEEEEEPT…
MegaSonic: Dio, the absolute bastard that he is, grafted his still living head onto Jonathan’s body…after killing him. God damn, like Jonathan is my favorite JoJo, but what a creative way to cheat death. I’m not even mad…I’m just sad.
Sharaku: And then the ship exploded. But evidently, the third time isn’t the charm to put this dude down, as he somehow climbed into a secret compartment in a coffin that was TOTALLY THERE BEFORE and survived the ship wrecking itself. Afterwards, the coffin sank to the bottom of the ocean near the Canary Islands.
MegaSonic: Then, a hundred years later, he was found by a fishing crew…whom he promptly murdered before going to hang out in Egypt, where he found this thing call a Stand arrow and stabbed himself with it, gaining awesome STANDO POWA! This is Dio’s stand-
Dio: ZA WARUDO! *(Insert The World clip here)*
Sharaku: Yeah, that. Dio now has a special ability known as a Stand, which is effectively a representation of one’s own fighting spirit and soul. Each Stand is individualized, and has its own unique ability… sometimes. In Dio’s case, he lucked the fuck out. His Stand, The World, is an incredibly fast fighter that can attack with high speed punches. But its main ability is to halt the very flow of time itself for several seconds, where Dio can interact and fuck around with the frozen space. Time powers, huh? Pretty unique. Sure would be a shame if any other villains had something similar, eh?
MegaSonic: It’s the same type of Stand as Star Platinum. No. No, literally. The World and Star Platinum have basically all the same abilities, straight down to the Time Stop. They’re the same Stand. And sure, we could argue about that all day, it’s not really important. What is important is that unlike Jotaro Kujo and Star Platinum, who can only Stop Time for a maximum of 5 Seconds, Dio can stop time for up to 11 seconds, and it can even grow longer the more Dio acclimates to Jonthan’s body…oh yeah that was a problem Dio had for a while by the way. Jonathan’s body kept resisting Dio, and it made it harder for him to use his Vampiric powers.
Sharaku: He also has an affinity for throwing knives. Uh… lots of ‘em. Anyways, although he may not use his vampiric powers as often, he still has exceptional regeneration, being able to reattach limbs and survive his skull being caved in from Star Platinum’s punches. It should be noted that this is the same Stand which can scale to Stone Free in Part 6 - due to the fact that it’s listed as being weaker than Star Platinum even in the part where Jotaro was weakened over time - who was able to deflect miniaturized meteors drawn in from space.
MegaSonic: A feat that would require 441 kilotons of TNT to perform by the way. Don’t fuck with Stands, they’ll fucking pulverize you. Not just from how strong they are, but from how absurdly fast they can get. You know, since multiple stands have been listed and shown at moving several times faster than light? And that’s assuming you can even see the thing, since only Stand users can see Stands. You don’t have one? Tough shit.
Sharaku: Plus, in addition to fighting Star Platinum, Dio also briefly fought and completely trounced Jean-Pierre Polnareff. Both of which have shown feats of moving beyond the speed of light, like when Polnareff’s incredibly quick Stand, Silver Chariot, intercepted Hanged Man, who moves at the speed of light. Plus, Jotaro later fought a possessed Polnareff (who by the way, was augmented further by the Stand Anubis) and won, so he should scale easily as well.
MegaSonic: You’d think, even after fully merging with Jonathan’s body, and drinking Joseph’s blood for good measure, he would have trounced Jotaro and taken over the world. But…NOPE! In an ironic twist, the simplest method put Dio down for good, just punching the shit out of him until he blew up and died. But while the evilest man to ever live may no longer walk the earth, his legacy does. Truly, Dio Brando has transcended humanity, and will haunt the Joestar bloodline forever, even from beyond the grave.
Sharaku: Well, guess it ain’t all bad. His son turned out all right.
MegaSonic: Dammit dude, don’t ruin the moment.
Will A.Zeppeli: Tell me. How many lives have you sucked away to heal those wounds?
Dio: I don't know... How many slices of bread have you eaten in your life?
Michael Roa Valdamjong[]
Sharaku: |Aw, shit, here we go again.
MegaSonic: Hundreds of years ago, in the late 15th century, a man seeked to push the limits of human Magecraft, to surpass his humanity and become immortal. That man, who seeked the Princess of the True Ancestors, became one of the deadliest villains hidden from man; Michael Roa Valdamjong.
Sharaku: Originally a priest of the Holy Church, Roa eventually left them for the Mages Association so he could further his research on Magecraft, but found himself…limited by humanity. He needed to become something more. And he found just the way to do that after looking at a blond princess once. Y’know, there’s an obvious joke to be made there, but I’ll hold off.
MegaSonic: Becoming obsessively infatuated with True Ancestor known as Arcueid, Roa’s incel tiet love soon turned to a burning hatred as she made focusing on his research impossible, until the moment came for him to realize his desires. On the night Arcueid became weak to her vampiric impulse for the first time, Roa tricked her into drinking his blood, causing Arcueid to go berserker and slaughter the True Ancestors while simultaneously locking off a large portion of her power, which was transferred into Roa. On that night, he had become the 28th of the 25 Dead Apostles.
Sharaku: Roa became known as the Serpent of Akasha; the infinite reincarnator. Basically discovering a form of immortality, any time he was killed in battle, he’d become reborn in a new person entirely several years later. Usually, he’ll end up becoming someone with special abilities or a high social status, but aside from that, Roa doesn’t discriminate. Be more like him.
MegaSonic: Every time Roa reincarnates, he slowly infects and possesses the body of his latest host, eventually taking complete control of them as he regains all his abilities. His latest host is known as SHIKI Tohno, a serial killer and the disgraced former heir to the Tohno family who was almost accidentally killed by Shiki Nanaya, who eventually got adopted into Tohno family and became Shiki Tohno but you don’t shout his first name.
Sharaku: That was certainly a mess of words. Type-Moon lore, everyone. Currently, his body has some impressive abilities that put him far above any normal human. He’s got enhanced strength, speed, and some pretty absurd healing abilities that have allowed him to regenerate from literal ankles on full moons. Being someone who studies magecraft, Roa has the ability to use magic. His most infamous ability being his purple electricity. But he also has access to time magecraft, being able to raise the dead into zombies, creating barriers with the Unnamed Bounded Field, boosting his own stats and even straight-up nullifying weaker magic.
MegaSonic: He can also hypnotize others, is a master of high-speed incantations, manipulate gravity, form weapons out of his own blood, and even “hack” into the Magic Circuits of others and force them to activate. Most note-worthy of all however is the power he gained from SHIKI Tohno, the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception.
Sharaku: The Mystic Eyes of Death Perception allows Roa to see the “points”and “lines” of death on any living creature. Once that point or line is slashed across, that life-form will instantly die on a conceptual level. However, Roa cannot see the same points or lines on inanimate objects, something that Shiki Tohno can do. Due to being… well, a Dead Apostle, the Mystic Eyes don’t have the same strain on his body or brain that they would on ordinary humans.
MegaSonic: After reincarnating exactly twenty seven times, Roa’s days were ultimately numbered, as wouldn’t you know it, he finally faced the consequences of his own actions. One of his prior hosts, Ciel, had tracked him down to Masaki Town, as had Arcueid as a part of their cat and mouse cycle where every time he reincarnated she would find and kill him, while Shiki Tohno was really kinda just down to help the two ladies in putting an end to him.
Sharaku: During his stay in Misaki Town, Roa clashed with numerous foes. First off, just through his lightning alone, Roa’s attack speeds can reach over 220,000 miles per hour. And since he can fight with those who react to those lightning bolts, his reactionary speeds should absolutely be similar. One of his prior incarnations fought against the Heroic Spirit, Edmond Dantes, who in turn fought the Ruler Jeanne D’Arc.
MegaSonic: Jeanne should be roughly comparable to the Saber Heroic Spirit Siegfried, who battled and killed the evil Dragon Fafnir, a dragon who could blow countreties away. While we cannot fully scale Roa to Dantes, as Dantes did kill him, we do know his SHIKI Tohno incarnation is stronger than the one who fought Dantes. Even with his own power, Roa can casually reduce buildings to piles of rubble without much effort, and for most mortal men it would be suicide to fight him.
Sharaku: He even fought against his prior incarnation Ciel in a one-on-one in the manga, and absolutely came out as the victor. But, as powerful as he is, he’s not really all there if you get what I’m saying. Roa isn’t exactly… stable. Far from it.
MegaSonic: See previous comparison to Incels. But really, be it a combination of his own countless reincarnations and his current host being a psychotic serial killer, Roa is just flat out nuts, as while he originally sought immortality to be able to observe and record human history, now he just seeks pleasure from inflicting destruction, pain, loss, and that shit’s just unhealthy.
Sharaku: Plus, while he does have the ability to reincarnate, it usually takes years to do so, which would count as a loss here as it’d take far too long. Additionally, Roa is particularly susceptible to Conceptual Weapons like the Seventh Holy Scripture, which incidentally ended up being partially what caused his permanent downfall.
MegaSonic: Yet in the end, it was Shiki Tohno, the boy who cherished life like Roa once did, who defeated him for good, using the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception to erase Roa’s entire existence. Though Roa’s existence has ended, his shadow still looms, echoes of his laugh, glimpses of his form. Perhaps, just maybe…he may still be lurking in the night.
Roa: Splendid. I see there will be no lack of blood to drink with you around.
Pre-Battle[]
MegaSonic: Alright the combatants are set, it’s time to end this debate once and for all.
Sharaku: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!
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Fight!![]
Egypt - Dio’s Lair
With a loud crash, the Stardust Crusaders arrive in the inner sanctum of Dio’s hideout, Star Platinum blasting the door off its hinges as Jotaro, Joseph, Kakyoin, and Polnareff rush in to find not Dio, but instead a woman wearing a dark blue church uniform, and a second woman with blonde hair in a white dress.
Jotaro: Who are you two? Where is Dio?
Ciel: I was hoping you would be able to answer that. We came here looking for him after hearing rumors he would attempt to abduct a friend of ours.
As the two groups converse, Kakyoin picks up a small piece of paper, unfolding it to see what it reads before his eyes widen.
Kakyoin: JoJo! Dio, he’s left for Japan, Masaki Town! And it reads…”If you want to see your friend alive, come face me, True Ancestor.”
Arcueid: That bastard-!
Joseph: OHHH NOOOOO!!
Masaki Town - City Streets - Midnight.
The moon’s light shone down upon the empty streets of the town. Once bustling with people, it always became quiet as of late. The town recently saw an infestation of the dead wandering around every night, draining the blood of those foolish enough to wander about. A car slowly drove through the town. Inside was Dio Brando, now simply going as Dio. Glancing in the back seat of the car, the vampire cast a distasteful glance towards the boy in the back. Shiki Tohno remained intact, but the bones in his limbs certainly weren’t.
Dio: I’ll commend you for trying earlier, but your skills were simply no match. Though I doubt you’ll escape, trying it will only leave you with a hole in your chest.
Shiki, saying nothing, tried reaching for the knife in his back pocket. But to no avail. The pain was simply too much to endure. However, if there was anyone who could absolutely defeat the vampire he saw before him, it was his friends. Praying silently for someone to arrive, the boy remained motionless.
He got his wish, in a sense. The driver, held hostage by Dio, noticed a man in a white shirt and black pants standing in the middle of the road. Honking the horn to signal to the individual to get out of the way, the figure did nothing. Nothing that is, except for raising an arm. Firing out a shining bolt of purple-colored electricity, the car exploded in moments. Completely obliterating the car and the driver, the explosion rang through the silent town. Dio, carrying Shiki as if he were holding a suitcase, landed on the top of a smaller building. Dropping the boy with no real concern, he cast one more nasty glance.
Dio: Stay here, boy. Apparently, I have a matter to attend to.
Jumping off the side of the building, Dio landed near the wrecked car, which was still smoking. Glancing over to the pale man, who was inching closer, the Stand User sensed something within the figure.
Dio: Just who exactly are you? Aside from being a complete fool, that is.
Roa: How amusing. You play at being a Dead Apostle, but you know not the powers you toy with. But…I cannot, and will not, sit by and let you attempt to claim my prize. The boy, and the True Ancestor, are mine.
And with that, Michael Roa Valdamjong began approaching Dio with malicious intent and an air of confidence, though the Vampire of the Stone Mask showed no fear, only amusement.
Dio: Oh, you’re approaching me?
Roa: …Yeah.
Dio: Oh-ho! Then come as close as you like!
Rushing in like a wild animal, Roa swung his arm towards the Stand User, ready to tear out Dio’s organs. Immediately though, his hand stopped in place. Almost as if it was caught by another person. Looking up, Roa noticed a disembodied yellow hand grasping his wrist, squeezing it tightly before Dio drew his right arm back and punched Roa in the face, sending him stumbling backwards while Dio let out a laugh.
Dio: Too slow!
Roa: Quite the interesting level of Magecraft you have. I don’t quite recognize the technique.I’ll have to study your corpse more after I kill you.
Dio: Hmmph! The World.
Without any movements, Roa suddenly gasped as his torso rang with pain, his body sent flying backwards into a nearby building hard enough to shatter the windows even three stories upwards as Dio stood where he once did. Closing his eyes and opening them again, Roa watches as a yellow humanoid spirit Stands beside Dio radiating a golden aura.
Roa: The World…? Interesting. I know of the Moon, but perhaps they’re similar? Only one way to see, I suppose.
Pulling his hand back, Roa’s entire arm pulsated with purple energy as another lightning bolt rang through the streets of Misaki Town, heading towards Dio, ready to completely incinerate the vampire. However, the Stand User smirked, as the windows behind him shattered. Suddenly, The World’s hands were full of knives of all sorts. The lightning bolt was completely absorbed into the metal of the knives like a lightning rod, causing them to glow purple as The World then threw them back at the man who cast the lightning bolt to begin with.
Scoffing, Roa leaped out of the way, though not before one of the knives grazed his side and left a cut on his left shoulder. Scowling at the injury, Roa’s whole body sparked as he rushed forwards as suddenly appeared behind Dio, the claws on his hands sharpening as he began slashing away at his yellow-coated opponent. Dio, not one to accept an opponent laying hands on him, suddenly disappeared a few feet away, brushing himself off as he did.
Dio: Scum. You have no right to lay hands on me.
Roa: Just be quiet, blood packet.
Laying his hands on the ground, Roa sent a shockwave of electricity through the asphalt. Despite the vampire jumping, the electricity reached him through the metal cuffs on Dio’s outfit, sending lightning rippling through the vampire’s body. Dropping to the floor, Roa immediately lunged forward and shoved his claws through Dio’s midsection.
Still having his arm lodged in Dio’s stomach, the Dead Apostle charged up a blast of lightning and sent Dio flying through Misaki Town, crashing into a nearby alleyway where a poor female bystander just so happened to be standing. Instantly killing the bystander by the sheer impact, Dio looked down at the dead human. May as well, he thought as he plunged his hands into the woman’s heart, absorbing the blood in her body like a leech.
Standing up, Dio looks over as he sees Roa approaching via leaping through the air, and Dio glares at his opponent as he as well leaps into the air, his eyes glowing as he unleashes his Space Ripper Stingy Eyes to intercept Roa mid leap and send the Dead Apostle crashing into a nearby car. Propelling himself over, Dio begins approaching the car as The World fully manifests, drawing its hand back and throwing a punch as Roa suddenly catches it.
Dio: What!? Impossible!
Roa: You…need to shut up.
Straining himself, as several pieces of metal lodged in his stomach, Roa punches Dio hard enough to send him flying back before raising his arms and quickly speaking the incantation for his Time Magecraft and restoring his wounds. With his body healed, Roa begins to laugh as he crosses his arms, shadow humanoid figures beginning to approach from behind him.
Roa: Surrender now, and I shall perhaps make your suffering painless.
Dio: So you too command the dead. No matter, now you shall face my zombies!
Jabbing his hand into the ground, Dio begins to cackle as zombies of his own begin bursting through the city streets, rising from their grazes as the two groups of opposing zombies begin tearing each other to shreds. As one zombie leaps to consume Dio, it is suddenly grabbed by his hand as he freezes the zombie into solid ice and throws it at Roa, who just cuts through it and charges forwards. Parrying a punch from The World, Roa cackles as he begins throwing a series of punches enhanced by lightning as The World unleashes one of its signature Stand Rushes.
Roa: DIE DIE DIE DIE!
Dio: MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAAAAA!
The ground beneath them began to break due to the sheer pressure their blows were exerting, even from just the air movements. Each punch sent miniature shockwaves, pushing their own undead troops backwards. Roa suddenly catches both the Stand’s arms and yanks backwards, pulling a surprised Dio closer before he decks the vampire in the face and sends him flying into the air before mystic circles form around him, Roa smirking as he unleashes a black serpent that flies through the air and smites Dio by blasting him back into the ground.
Standing back up onto his feet and throwing the tattered remains of his jacket away, Dio grabs two of his zombies and throws them at Roa like cannon fodder, both easily destroyed by a flick of Roa’s lightning before he turns his focus back onto Dio.
Dio: The World!
And yet, with two words, the battle freezes, leaving Roa as motionless as the living dead tearing each other to shreds around him. Dio appears before his helpless victim, The World raises its first and thrusts it forward.
Dio: Die!
Blood flies through the air before freezing as The World shoves its first through Roa’s entire stomach in one clean punch. Not satisfied, however, The World then raises Roa into the air and uses the new hole in his body to rip the Dead Apostle in half in one clean tear before throwing the two halves to the ground.
Dio: Time resumes.
The battle of zombies continues as if it never stopped, save Roa’s newly mutilated corpse on the ground, blood oozing from both sides of the Dead Apostle. As Dio looks up at the overhead moon, squinting at the moonlight shining down upon him, he suddenly turns just in time to avoid a fatal injury from Roa, still alive with blood dripping from his lip, saved from death by the full moon.
Roa: I will make you suffer!
Dio: You will bow before me before this night ends!
The World drew its hand back for another punch, but simply bounced off of a magical barrier Roa had created immediately. Roa grabbed The World’s arm once more and slammed the spirit into the ground, Dio going with him. The Stand User tried to get up, but couldn’t. Some kind of invisible force was pressing down on him, and exponentially so. Roa had his hand raised to the sky. Dio realized that Roa was the cause, and had some capacity to manipulate gravity.
Quickly stopping time before his enemy could increase the pressure, Dio struggled to raise himself through the heaviness of the area around him. Slowly trudging over towards the frozen-in-time Roa, Dio prepared to make him actually frozen. Laying his hands on Roa’s arms, time unfroze and the vampire immediately began to flash freeze the Serpent’s hands. Headbutting Dio back, Roa began to unfreeze his own arms by sending lightning through them, shattering off the particles of ice on the surface of his skin. Dio immediately went for another wild punch, but Roa couldn’t raise fast enough due to the blood in his arms still being incredibly cold. This allowed Dio to knock the Dead Apostle off balance. Taking advantage of this, Dio absolutely tore into Roa with a Stand Barrage.
Dio: MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA, MUDAAAA!!!!
With Roa on the ground and heavily injured, Dio turned around and instead focused himself on two of Roa’s zombies, grabbing both of them and absorbing what little blood they still had to rejuvenate himself back into better condition. Turning back again however, Dio leaped upwards into the air, propelled by The World, as Roa leaped upwards and charged his lightning up in both hands before unleashing it, the purple blots rippling through the air as they converged on Dio…
Who unleashed the full power of his Space Ripper Stingy Eyes, clashing the beams from his eyes against Roa’s lightning as the two vampires pushed on their respective attacks, and ultimately, Dio won as his Space Ripper Stingy Eyes flew through the lightning and blasted Roa back into the ground, sending him through the streets and into a gas line…which then exploded, sending a giant fireball exploding into the air, ripping several buildings and city streets apart and leaving whatever living civilians were around as good as dead. Shiki Tohno himself, through sheer luck, had somehow managed to survive the building he was on collapsing, but he was completely out cold.
Roa climbs out of the hole in the ground, looking around at the destruction around him as he begins to laugh and cackle at how amusing it all is. Dio landed across from him, a sick and twisted smirk forming on his lips as he too begins to laugh like a madman.
Roa: HAHAHAHAHA!
Dio: HAHAHAHAHA! WRRRRRYYYYYYY!!!!!
Cutting his laughter short, Dio moves to press the attack when Roa leaps back and dodges, quickly moving to draw his knife as he attempts to swing down, but its blade is shattered by a punch from The World. So instead, Roa throws his hand forwards and grabs the side of Dio’s head, forcuilly activating his Space Ripper Stingy Eyes as he forces Dio to look downwards and slice off his own legs.
Roa: Now, witness true death!
Dio: The World!
Once again, Roa’s eyes widen as he’s blown away by an invisible force, sent flying through the burning wreckage of Masaki town as a fully repaired Dio stands up yet again. But now, with four uses of the ability, Roa finally understands it.
Roa: So…he stops time.
Stepping towards Dio’s silhouette, it vanished the exact second Roa stepped towards him. Roa was frozen once more, but this time… he knew it. He could feel everything around him in the halted space that was the frozen earth. A shadow crept above Roa, getting larger and larger. Almost as if a huge object was being-
Oh. That’s exactly what it was.
Dio: ROADA ROLLA DA!
On cue, a massive orange-colored steamroller was dropped onto the white-clad vampire by none other than Dio, who apparently had found this lying somewhere in the vicinity. As Dio dropped it through the air, Roa, through sheer willpower and a bit of his own Time Magecraft, managed to move through the halted time as he braced himself for the steamroller slammed down onto him and burying him into the concrete ground.
He was getting really tired of that happening.
Dio: IT’S TOO LATE! YOU CANNOT ESCAPE!
As Dio began slamming his fists downwards onto the steamroller, crying “MUDA” out as he does, Roa growled as he formed a barrier to shield himself from being crushed to death against Dio’s crushing force. Finally, Dio let out one last cry as he punched the Steamroller into the ground and leaped off it as it exploded, crossing his arms in satisfaction as he did.
Dio: I’ve won.
…
Roa: Nine… Seconds…
Dio’s eyes widened as Roa stepped from the smoke, badly injured and bleeding, yet still kicking as he stared Dio down, the vampire shocked and confused as to how his opponent could move in his stopped time.
Roa: You have… two seconds… before I kill you.
Two seconds left out of his eleven seconds of stopped time. Dio scowled, he was enraged, but he knew he was still faster. Two seconds was more than enough time to rip this fool who dared challenge him to pieces one and for all.
Dio: THEN YOU WILL DIE IN ONE! WWWWRRRRYYYYYYYYY!!!!
Dio appeared before Roa without a second of hesitation as both his and The World shoved their fists through Roa’s stomach, impaling him cleanly in one swift movement.
One second remained.
Roa: You…utter fool.
Grasping his own blood into a sword, Roa swung the crystallized blood blade along Dio’s lines of death, cleanly cutting through his body and The World several times over with the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception before decapitating him in one final strike.
Time resumed. Blood splashed onto the street below as the chunks of Dio’s body fell to the ground. Roa caught Dio’s head, his eyes glowing a crimson red as his fangs showed, and Dio attempted to charge up his Space Ripper Stingy Eyes one last time.
Roa: Defiant until the end? That’s respectable for a worm like you. But like I told you-
And with one final squeeze, Roa crushed Dio’s head in his hand, shards of brain and skill falling to the ground as Roa’s hand was covered in blood.
Roa: I am the only real vampire here. HAHAHAHAHA!
Lost to madness in victory, Roa laughed into the bloody night sky as he grabbed one of Dio’s arms and bit into its flesh to taste whatever blood had not yet spilled onto the ground.
KO!
Post-Analysis[]
Sharaku: Holy shit. That was the best bad ending ever!
MegaSonic: Though Dio was tenacious and stubborn, Roa’s victory was ultimately very clear cut. Being a Mage from the 15th century reincarnating so far as to reach modern day, Roa obviously had greater experience then a boy born in the early 19th century who spent most of his 100 year long life in the bottom of the Ocean, and his vast array of Magecraft meant he ultimately had greater versatility then Dio, as well as more experience with said abilities.
Sharaku: Dio on the other hand absolutely had the speed advantage. Roa in no way scaled to any kind of time-breaking speed like true form Arcueid or his original body; his best speed feats in SHIKI’s body only breaking the massively hypersonic range. Dio on the other hand was far beyond the speed of light due to upscaling from Polnareff and fighting against Jotaro. It’s also worth noting that Dio technically had better regen, as Roa’s ability to regenerate from his ankles is a very situational thing that only occurs on full moons.
MegaSonic: But speed and regeneration were not enough to win Dio this fight. What vampiric powers he did have Roa had as well, be it from his abilities as a Dead Apostle or as a Mage, even The World was nothing but a basic familiar to Roa, who’s Time Magecraft allowed him to counter even the Time Stop. But importantly, while both could casually shatter massive buildings, their full powers were on completely different levels. Dio could scale to Stone Free’s 441 Kiloton Meteor Punching, but Roa scaling to Edmon Dantes put him in the ballpark of anywhere from 1 to 7 Teratons of TnT. How big is a Teraton you ask? So much bigger than a Kilton Dio had no chance of ever dealing so much as a scratch on Roa.
Sharaku: So even if Dio had much better regeneration than Roa’s situational abilities, it frankly wouldn’t matter, as Roa would have more than enough power to completely blast through the Stand User’s body if he wanted to. But that certainly wasn’t the only way. While Roa can’t cut through inanimate objects, he certainly would be able to slice through Dio’s lines or points of death with his Mystic Eyes, which would completely destroy his regeneration. Even Arcueid had to use up massive reserves of her insane cosmic levels of power, and she still ended up having to create an entirely new body as her old one was completely wrecked. That sure as hell ain’t something that Dio can do.
MegaSonic: And while Dio was clever, planning, and manipulative, the exact same could be said for Roa. While Dio’s speed and regeneration meant he could hang in the fight for a while, he ultimately lacked the destructive power, endurance, versatility, and even the eyes to overcome Roa.
Sharaku: Dio just couldn’t hold himself together, and ended up becoming Melty Blood.
MegaSonic: The winner is Michael Roa Valdamjong.
Next Time...[]
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