Description[]
Fathers who hide their identity, it's TF2 Vs Jojo's Bizarre Adventure!
Interlude[]
Boomstick: Fathers! What would we be without them!
Wiz: Well, we wouldn't be here.
Boomstick: I guess so.... I wouldn't want to be the son of these guys!
Wiz: Today, we have the Spy from Team Fortress 2!
Boomstick: And Diavolo, the mafia boss straight outta Devil May Cry!
Wiz: Uhhh Boomstick, he's from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure...
Boomstick: What?! But his name is devil in Italian!
Wiz: *sigh*
Medic: I get ze reference!
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick! Just forget Medic....
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle!
Boomstick: But could you imagine a Jojo-Devil May Cry crossover?! That would be nuts!
Medic: Yeah it vould be!
Boomstick: Medic, why the shit are you still here? Like, how did you get in?
Diavolo[]
Spy[]
Wiz: The year was 1850. A rich englishman named Zepheniah Mann had purchased a large land mass of the United States for his two sons Redmond and Blutarch Mann, due to their eternal bickering.
Boomstick: And then ol' Zephy died of many illnesses that he contracted on the trip there! Not only that, his sons found the land to be useless to them!
Wiz: Well, it was useless until they realized that the gravel pits and the dustbowls bestowed upon the Manns were the best place to try to settle their eternal grudge against each other.
Boomstick: As it turned out as well, this was Zepheniah's revenge on his sons for him losing his great fortune in money he possessed! The Mann brothers hired mercenaries to take control over said land as a means to get at one another. Hell, the BLU team, – Builders League United for short – even hired people such as Davy Crockett, Billy The Kid, Sigmund Freud, and even Abraham Lincoln! Like damn are these brothers serious!
Wiz: Fastforward to 1968, Mann Co, a company that was primarily focused on fueling the war amongst the brothers, gained a new CEO named Saxton Hale, who ran the whole operation with an announcer known as the Administrator. The Mann brothers themselves were put onto a life support machine fueled by a metal known as Australium. Nine mercenaries were hired on both RED and BLU teams respectively to wage war on one another.
Boomstick: These mercenaries ranged from a scottish drunkard with a love for explosives, who lost an eye to a magical book about explosives, to a middle aged man from the Bronx with a shiny steel baseball bat and a love for the sport named Jeremy. But today on Death Battle we're going to be talking about his father in fact, it's the Spy! I wish I could do cool butterfly knife tricks like him man...
Wiz: Not much is known about the Spy himself, where he came from or who he is, but all we know for certain is that he himself heirs from France and he's a "metaphorical lady killer."
Boomstick: My god Wiz, look at that thousand dollar suit! He's so cool that he would wear such expensive clothing onto a battlefield! If only I could afford that as well...
Wiz: What's more interesting is what he has hiding in the suit. On top of his butterfly knife flipping and stabbing skills, he even has a watch that can make him completely invisible for a short amount of time known as the Invisi-Watch.
Boomstick: If the Spy so pleases, he even has other alternatives to his Invis-Watch to use on the battlefield, like the Cloak and Dagger, a watch that drains invisibility time based on movement, or hell, a pocket watch known as the Dead Ringer that creates an entire fake corpse and allows the user to go invisible! Like how do you even do that?! Wiz, I have a pocket watch here, try hitting me!
Wiz punches Boomstick in the face, only for nothing to happen but for a Boomstick to have a big bruise on his face.
Boomstick: Owww !@$%ing jeez! How does Spy do it man??? Also Wiz you didn't have to hit me so hard...
Wiz: Uhhhh... moving on... also in Spy's arsenal, he also carries around an Electro-Sapper, a device made to primarily destroy a building made by an enemy Engineer.
Boomstick: He even owns one that looks like a big movie tape! He better have the full Twilight Saga on that...
Wiz: Who knows what Spy is into man.
Boomstick: Also in his arsenal of knives, thank you Wiz for hitting me in the face and forgetting, he carries a bunch of different knives ranging from a voodoo pin known as the Wanga Prick which can instantly disguise you as an enemy team member, – and trust me, we'll get to the disguises – a dagger known as the Your Eternal Reward, YER for short that does the exact same thing, a broken stilletto knife called the Big Earner that... makes the Spy move faster when backstabbing someone and somehow giving him cloak back??? I'm reading that correctly right?
Wiz: Don't question it Boomstick, also it's your fault for wanting me to hit you.
Boomstick: Whatever man. Getting back to it, Spy also has access to a kunai that allows him to steal opponent's health upon backstabbing someone... I'm starting to see a trend with these knives...
Wiz: By far the most ridiculous knife the Spy probably has on him has to be the Spy-cicle. Upon backstabbing someone it goes to the absolute extreme and turns a person to a solid block of ice. It gets better, if a Spy were to get torched by say, a Pyro, Spy could just pull it out, negate all fire damage at the cost of the knife melting, and getting to safety by any means possible. On top of that as well all of Spy's knifes can penetrate even armored targets and cause massive damage, if not instant death to them.
Boomstick: My god... that is the coolest thing ever and the coolest thing ever... not as cool as this Assassin's Creed style hidden knife in the Spy's sleeve!
Wiz: Lastly with Spy's weapons, he has access to range of revolvers, one with engravings on it that does more damage on a headshot called the Ambassador, one that pierces through damage resistances called the Enforcer, one that allows the Spy's cloak to last longer and to regain clock upon shooting someone known as the L'Etranger...
Boomstick: And a revolver that looks like a diamondback rattlesnake that deals critical damage for just stabbing people and sapping buildings! Wait... isn't Diamondback the name of this thing too...?
Wiz: And absolutely last but certainly not least is the Disguise Kit, which allows Spy to disappear into smoke and become a perfect clone of his enemy or a teammate. Should Spy attack someone however or die, the disguise disappears.
Boomstick: That's it, Wiz. I'm gonna do it, I'm really gonna do it. I'm going to join the crowd of Spy mains!
Boomstick, now wearing a dark red balaclava, walks off excitedly like a child.
Medic: Vhat's up with him?
Wiz: No idea Medic....
Medic: Well, no matter.
Medic reveals he was a Spy all along and backstabs Wiz, disguising as him.