Description[]
there are many that strike fear into the hearts of many. but few are capable of weaponizing that fear. so what a faceless forest stalker fought the embodiment of death...?
Intro[]
Boomstick: It's no surprise that most monsters are your typical...well, monster. But these two embody their forms to a tee.
Wiz: Indeed, these 2 have struck fear into whatever poor sab crossed their path. Like Death, the whistling assassin from Puss In Boots,
Boomstick: And Slenderman, the faceless king of creepypasta. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to determine their weapons, armor and skill to find out who would win, a DEATH BATTLE!
Death[]
Boomstick: Imagine, if you will, a fearless hero who laughed at the face of death. A warrior who's a shining glimpse of hope in our darkest times. A selfless icon that protects his town time and time again from all sorts of wacky monsters.
Wiz: This was the legendary hero, Puss In Boots. But unfortunately, in his case, legends never live forever. After saving his town from a giant using a bell as a primary weapon, he was crushed by said bell and died.
Boomstick: It's okay wiz, Puss has 9 lives. He is a cat after all.
Wiz: Right but after some...incidents involving bulls, shellfish, cannons and drunkenly falling off buildings to drunkenly prove a point, his life count was reduced from 9 to 1. Forcing Boots to retire forever, Until he magically found a way to regain his lost lives. The Wishing Star.
Boomstick: But in order to get it, Puss had to go through a shit ton of people. Like goldilocks and her bears, Jack Horner of all people, and a big ass wolf man in a hood and cloak which can appear anywhere.
Wiz: While Puss had previously encounter this strange character, he was fooled into thinking the wolf was a bounty hunter. Until the wolf made his return and announced to Puss that he was Death.
Boomstick: And he doesn't mean it metaphorically or rhetorically or poetically or theoretically or any other fancy way. This was Death, STRAIGHT UP!
Wiz: As the embodiment of death, AKA the Grim Reaper, Death has superhuman strength, speed and durability. Perfect for hunting and harvesting souls.
Boomstick: As a wolf person, Death can use his claws and teeth into combat. But incase he ever wants to get serious, he breaks out his primary weapon of choice. Not a stupid lame scythe, these are dual-handed sickles with 8 crosses, 4 on each sickle. Each one of these marks represents one of Puss's many deaths through history. And he wields and uses these sickles like there's no tomorrow...for them.
Wiz: Technically Death is a spirit and can only be seen and physically interacted with his prey. Anyone else won't see him. But as a spirit, Death can't die through normal conventional means.
Boomstick: He can create fire, smell fear, induce hallucinations and, for some reason, is immune to magic.
Wiz: Fought against Puss multiple times. He's even made him bleed, which no other villain has done before him.
Boomstick: He's broken down pillars which showcase all of Puss's previous lifes, match and surpass Puss in combat, move faster then the eye can track. He's even walked through the fire created by the Wishing Star, which disintegrated anyone who barely touches it.
Wiz: But despite all of this, Death is not quite the warrior he makes out to be. He taunted Puss so many times he no longer smelled fear, he might've had a temper considering the fact he went after Puss rather than waiting for him to die and also finds the idea of cats possessing 9 lives is ridiculous
Boomstick: But just because he has a temper, doesn't mean he's your worst nightmare. If you ever hear his whistling tune, prepare yourself. Death is near, and nobody can save you.
Slenderman[]
Boomstick: Creepypasta, a mystical land of whatever the hell the internet can come up with. Crazed murderers, undead dolls, demons, the works. But there are few who stood above them all.
Wiz: The primary residence of this creature is Slender Woods, where those who are dumb enough to enter have never survived to tell his tale.
Boomstick: Turns out, Slender Woods is a forest that's possessed by a strange demonic energy. While the forest itself can't use it for barricades, it can manifest a special creature to hunt it's prey. A tall, faceless figure with white skin who blended with the shadows and killed his prey one by one.
Wiz: Such is the description of the legendary Slenderman. Standing 7ft tall with over 11,000 years of age, Slenderman is a creature who is not to be tempted with.
Boomstick: And for those extra nosey morons who decide to enter his woods, he's got a large varity of abilities due to his natural slender self. Slenderman can spew tendrils from his back which can break time and space...somehow.
Wiz: Slenderman has a deadly aura which will not only disturb technology in the nearby-area, he can infect others with his Slender Sickness. An illness which can cause nausea, hallucinations, and internal bleeding.
Boomstick: He can teleport through time and pull his victims in close with his most recognizable ability, the Slender Stare.
Wiz: A move that will instantly kill anyone with zero way of avoiding it. But perhaps slenderman's large variety of powers comes from being considered a Tulpa. Basically, he can get other abilities so long as others believe he can use them.
Boomstick: That would explain a lot. Like his pyrokinesis, weather control, mind control, shape and size shifting, impersonations, energy shots, electric manipulation, aquakinesis, resurrection, possession, he can even turn his stylish suit and tie into armor...somehow.
Wiz: All these powers and move have been able to grant Slenderman a wide variety of feats over his time in existence. He's overpowered trained knights with his tendrils, fought off both Sonic.EXE and Ben drowned, he can reshape mythos and concepts anyway he likes.
Boomstick: Hell, this is the guy that broke dimensions appart. Okay, bare with me. Slenderman somehow managed to trigger an event called the Dimensional bleeding, an event that that distorts, rifts, leeches on and damages the spacetime of various universes and he was completely okay.
Wiz: That might sound strange and unreasonable, but he has fought on par with the chaos god of destruction Zalgo, remember him? Anyway, Zalgo is superior to the Shredder Monkey, a being who could destroy the infinite creepypasta multiverse including both Hell and the Library of Eternity. Let me repeat this, Slenderman has fought on par with a being who's stronger than another being who could destroy the Creepypasta multiverse and all the infinite dimensions above it.
Boomstick: With powers like that, you'd be surprised that Slenderman has weaknesses altogether. But he does, and they're lame.
Wiz: Slenderman's reflection can be viewed with zero consequences and he lacks in direct and close ranged skills, as most of his abilities tend to be better in further distances. Meaning that it's possible an opponent could overwhelm Slenderman if they got up close and personal.
Boomstick: But good luck trying. Slenderman is the immortal protector of Slender Woods. He won't be stopped unless all of humanity forgets him, and that won't happen for a long while.
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
Pre-Fight[]
We begin on a dark night inside the land of Slender Forest. Slenderman was running away from yet another one of Zalgo’s attempts at capturing him.
Zalgo: For thousands of years we have fought slender creature of the night! But this time. I, Zalgo, shall finally snuff the fire of your immortal lifespan!
Slenderman: Must we really do this again, demon? You know these types of situations almost never work in your favour. You’d think you’d get that by now, you idiot!
Zalgo: This time will be different Slenderman. I WILL FINALLY TAKE YOUR-
Before Zalgo could even finish his sentence, a large organic arm hit him away as Slenderman teleported to a nearby tree branch. He’d take this opportunity to catch his breath.
Slenderman: Damm demon. Why didn’t I send any proxies on this mission? Finding this stupid thing is gonna be the death of me one day.
Just then, a faint whistling tune was heard. Slenderman tried looking around but found nothing. Out of nowhere, a hooded figure would step out from the shadows. Slenderman jumped down from the branch and met the hooded figure face to face.
Hooded figure: So, what’s this about the death of you?
Slenderman: Who’s it to you? You must be another one of Zalgo’s demonic minions, I can smell the demonic stench off you and I don't even have a nose!
Death: Call me, Death, and Death serves no one. I’ve been waiting to kill you for the longest time.
Slenderman: You can’t kill an immortal, Death.
Death: Try me, Slenderman.
Death would take out his sickles and slowly approach Slenderman. The fight absolutely nobody wanted would finally begin.
FIGHT![]
Death charged in at Slenderman with sickles in hand. He swang those sickles, but Slenderman blocked with his sleeve that somehow managed to create sparks. Slenderman teleported back and unleashed his tendrils, which grabbed Death and slammed him into tree after tree. The tendrils then slammed Death into the ground, but Death remained unharmed.
Slenderman: Impressive. Most beings wouldn't have survived such an attack.
Death: I am not like most beings.
Death tried to swing again, but his sickles were parried by Slenderman's tendrils. Death tried to get past the tendrils, but they proved too skills to let Death through. However, Death had managed to get past these tendrils and swing a sickle in Slenderman's face...er uh...lack thereof. Slenderman had grabbed the sickle and kicked Death back. Slenderman ripped the sickle out as a flame began to glow in his hand.
Slenderman: I am the wandering protector of this forest. A manifestation of demonic energy that no being will ever survive. You may be Death, but I am BEYOND DEATH ITSELF!
In a flash, Slenderman was gone and the entire of Slender Woods was burning at the stake. Death had Spotted Slenderman and charged with his one remaining sickle. Slenderman had teleported away, to appear behind Death. Slenderman put his hand on the back of Death's head as reality turned to static before swifting returning. Death had fallen onto the ground, while the forest around him still burned.
Death: What did you do?
Slenderman: You may be the Grim Reaper. But you're nothing more than a mere concept, a concept that I can control. You are no longer a reaper. You are dead.
Death had been wrapped in Slenderman's tendrils as he pulled Death's face to his own. As Slenderman stared into Death's eye, the world around them being to turn to static. Death's eyes rolled into his head before becoming a lifeless corpse. Slenderman's tendril threw Death into the burning background, his cloak burning to ashes.
Slenderman had won...
Results[]
Boomstick: O-oh my god. That was Beautiful. But i guess Smokey has his work cut out for him.
Wiz: On Paper, this matchup was fairly tricky. Death was faster on foot and his close-combat style implied that he could've landed a decent hit in on Slenderman. However, Slenderman had him beat where it mattered most.
Boomstick: Slenderman's teleportation gave him a speed adventure, his fighting skills with his tendrils is second to none and there was no way Death could overpower Slenderman.
Wiz: Slenderman alone was superior or on par with beings like Zalgo. Who is hundreds of times, or even millions of times, stronger than Death. While Death's fighting skills alone were impressive, Slenderman had simply the better gear to solve this bout. Plus given Slenderman's other large variety of Tulpa granted abilities, he held a solid adventure there as well.
Boomstick: Slenderman could've also turned his stylish suit into some stylish, and unexpected, armor. I mean really, how are you supposed to see that coming. But there was one question that determined this fight, Could Slenderman find a way to kill Death?
Wiz: Obviously on paper, The answer would be no. No person with the right mind would say that Death can die, he is the personification of death after all. However, Slenderman could.
Boomstick: Death may be the personification, or wolfinfication, of death. But there have been many others like him, Similar to them, he's just a concept of death.
Wiz: And given Slenderman's ability to reshape any concept however he wants, Slenderman could've and would've found a good opportunity to reshape Death, turning him into a mortal wolf.
Boomstick: And once that was taken care off, Slenderman had a bunch of options for taking Death down. Whether it be stabbing him with his tendrils, burning death with pyrotechnics, killing him slowly with Slender Sickness, or a good old fashioned staring contest. As a mortal, Death wouldn't have survived the Slender Stare.
Wiz: Death comes for all. But Slenderman's superior strength, speed, superior number of abilities and monstrous drive was more than enough to take down Death.
Boomstick: Things really heated up in the end, But Death's odds of winning were just slender.
Wiz: The winner is Slenderman!
Advantage/Disadvantage of fighters[]
Death
+ Closer ranged combat
+ faster on foot
+ as the concept of death, most attacks wouldn't have worked..
- but he's still the concept of death
- not as experienced in fighting opponents
Slenderman
+ Larger amount of abilities
+ stronger and tougher
+ held the ability to reshape death into a mortal
+ a ton of experience fighting at a distance...
- but lacked in close ranged combat...