description[]
marvel vs mortal kombat. two sword wielding assassins, whom never stay dead, finally meet. will Deadpool burn, or will Scorpion finally die?
interlude[]
scythe: they are the unkillable, trained assassins killing anyone in their way.
soul: Deadpool, marvel comics merc with the mouth
scythe: and Scorpion, mortal combat's netherrelm ninja. he's soul and I'm scythe.
soul: and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win, a death battle.
Deadpool[]
( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tL2B9bK4S0 )
soul: we know the origins, so lets get this over with before HE get's here
scythe: good idea. anyways, Wade Winston Wilson was a expert mercenary assassin, and probably a ninja. then he got cancer.
soul: wade broke up with girlfriend, and then got sent to weapon X, you know, the place where the old man we call Logan got his adamantium bones and claws. so they, somehow, gave Deadpool wolverines healing factor.
scythe: wade broke out, took up name Deadpool, and became a mercenary assassin again, only now with a
healing factor.
scythe: yes.
Deadpool: well hello death battle fanon wiki, miss me?
soul: wh-what? how is he here?
scythe: you see, during the experiments that gave him his healing factor Deadpool also gained superhuman strength, speed, stamina, and fourth wall awareness.
Deadpool: ya, see (wade pulls out the head of Deathstroke )
soul: oh, how did you get that here?
Deadpool: i carry i all the dead bodies of the people i kill, se i got ru-
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=544WmUAvsYs )
scythe: MOVING ON, Deadpool had a wide arsenal of weapons he can pull out of nowhere, including plasma guns, sais, bolas, grenades, flash bangs, and more.
(scythe is tuned out as soul and Deadpool have a causal conversation)
Deadpool: so why'd scythe get so mad when i brought up ruby rose? oh ya, go look that up and, spoiler alert, i won.
soul:(whispers something in deadpool's ear)
Deadpool:(pushes scythe away) ANYWAYS, my most basic weapons are my twins kitana's, a teleportation belt, and my favorite:s my twin 50 caliber desert eagle pistols.
scythe: why'd you cut me off?
Deadpool: no one cares about you.
Deadpool: my weapons include a teleportation belt, machine guns, katanas, pistols, sais, bola, plasma guns, grenades, flash bangs, hammers, healing, a carbonadium sword, and the magic satchel.
soul: how the hell do you carry all this?
Deadpool: how else? my magic satchel.
soul: the what?
scythe: it's a animation term where characters pull stuff out of thin air, Deadpool uses it regularly to store his stuff.
soul: well stuff outta thin air aside, Deadpool has some pretty crazy feats. he's gone toe to toe with Captain America, can dodge point blank gun fire, outwit taskmaster, and defeated 100 ninja while talking on the phone,
scythe: but he's not perfect, aside from shitty righting every now and then his only major flaw is that he's insainly cocky and isn't serious about anything unless is benefits him.
Deadpool: OH FUCK YOU!!!!!
soul: god...damn it
Deadpool walks up to a thug and sabs him in the arm with a sword, pinning the thug to a wall, Deadpool then pulls out a pistol and aims at the thugs head.
movie Deadpool: don't make me ask twice, WHERE. IS FRANCIS?
a gun shot is heard and Deadpool is in his apartment without his mask.
movie Deadpool: he made me ask twice (he looks at the audience) is the mask muffing my voice?
Scorpion[]
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn8KlZF5Jc8 )
scythe: the Lin Kuei clan of assassin where feared by all, and they killed anyone whom disrespected them.
soul: except the Shirai Ryu, who mocked the Lin Kuei all the time, by wearing clear pallet swaps of their clothes, they also en-
scythe: dude, we have one rule, NEVER directly quote boomstick unless it's the death battle cry.
soul: oh, sorry. anyways one young child, named Hanzo Hasashi was forbidden to join the clan, witch he later did to protect his family.
scythe: then his clan and family where killed by Bi-Han, AKA sub-zero. and then sub ripped hanzo's head off,
with the spine still dangling from it, wow.
soul: hanzo was reborn my the sorcerer Quan Chi, but at the cost of serving him, forever.
scythe: or until raiden reversed the spell keeping hanzo obedient.
soul: anyways, Scorpion is easily one of the most iconic gaming characters ever, thanks to this one voice line.
scorpion: GET OVER HERE
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwJBCHiuYFo)
scythe: Scorpion and teleport around, control hellfire, and use weapons like his kuni spear, sword, and axes.
soul: said kuni spear is what Scorpion uses to pull in foes closer, yelling out GET OVER HERE as he does so. awesome
scythe: what's scary is he wanted to, he doesn't need weapons. he could kill you with his bare hands.
soul: being a MK icon Scorpion as some awesome finishers called Fatalities.
scythe: spine rip let's scorpion rip his foes head off with the spine still dangling from it. with toasty he takes off his make showing his skull face, the breaths fire to incinerate his opponent,
soul: should hand from hell be choses, a skeleton hand will drag the guy Scorpion is fighting to hell. and spear slice he cut's off his opponents head, then cuts them in two. damn and those are just four.
scythe: what's most interesting is that scorpion can open portals to hell, and drag people there with him. while in hell scorpions power rises with no limit.
feats
- defeated sub-zero (twice)
- defeated Sonya blade, Johnny cage, and kenshi with litter effort
- defeated nightwolf
- defeated kung lou
- defeated sector and cyrax
- defeated quan chi
scythe: he's defeated sub-zero, TWICE. as well as other prominent Mk characters like Sonya blade, Johnny cage, kung lou, and more. still he's not perfect.
soul: Scorpion isn't one for tactics, he just kinda...rushes in there. he's also got anger issues. like...a LOT of anger issues. but even so, don't bother running from scorpion. if he's after you, your already dead.
Scorpion: MY NAME, IS HANZO HASASHI!!!!!!
Scorpion starts punching Quan chi.
pre-fight[]
scythe: alright the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.
soul: it's time for a death battle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fight[]
(the pit)
A helicopter flew over the pit, on Shang Tsung island. a door opened, and Deadpool jumped out. landing on a bridge over a spike pit, Deadpool looked at the spikes, then at the people reading this.
Deadpool: hello again death battle, got something better than a pony?
Deadpool looked to his left, smirking as scorpion walked up to him.
Scorpion: you are trespassing.
Deadpool: BITCH I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scorpion took a step back, and got in a fighting stance, Deadpool did as well.
Deadpool: play this song till i say stop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhTVE3mx02Q
Deadpool: FIGHT!!!!!!!!
Deadpool ran up to Scorpion and kicked him in the face. Deadpool then uppercutted Scorpion, launching him into the air.
Deadpool: SHORUKEN!!!!
Scorpion hit the ground, growling, he tripped Deadpool. as Deadpool fell scorpion got up and head-butted him. Scorpion then grabbed Deadpool and slammed his face into the ground.
Scorpion: you are weak.
Deadpool grabbed one of his pistols and started shooting at Scorpion. one or two bullets hit him, but Scorpion dodged the rest. Deadpool got up and pulled out another pistol. shooting both firearms at the yellow ninja Deadpool couldn't help but yell.
Deadpool: BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!!!
Scorpion threw his spear at Deadpool, and logged it into the chest of the merc with the mouth. confused, Deadpool asked questions.
Deadpool: what's this? hey is th-AHHHHHHHHHH
Scorpion pulled Deadpool in close.
Scorpion: COME HERE!!!!
Deadpool was met with a fist to his face. as he got up, Scorpion pulled out his twin swords.
Deadpool: a Leonardo fan? same here.
Deadpool: pulled out his own swords.
Deadpool: although most people would call me more of...hey i remember this joke. and when i called scorpion a leo fan, you got my text style wrong. don't fix it or this joke won't be funny. now stop the music and play this track. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvOzzGGcb7E
Scorpion rushed at Deadpool, the two swinging their swords at each other. as their blades locked, Deadpool jumped back, then dashed around Scorpion slashing him with his swords.
Deadpool: guess, its cutting time.
Scorpion teleported behind Deadpool and stabbed him in the heart. seconds later Deadpool stood fine and pulled the sword out. then Scorpion grabbed Deadpool and pulled him though a fire portal.
Deadpool: BBYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(hell)
a portal opened in hell, and both Scorpion and Deadpool popped out. as they landed, Deadpool pulled out two machine guns and started shooting.
Deadpool: I'm gonna turn you into glue.
as multiple bullets where launched at scorpion, the yellow ninja jumped back and threw him spear into Deadpool's chest. once again scorpion pulled Deadpool close.
Scorpion: GET OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadpool: I KNEW YOU SAID THAT!!! BAM!!!
Deadpool teleported behind Scorpion and stabbed him with sais.
Scorpion: YOU WILL BURN!!!
Scorpion pulled off his mask and tried to breath fire on Deadpool. Deadpool just teleported away. Deadpool pulled out two plasma guns and shot scorpion a few times. Deadpool followed up by shoving his swords into scorpions chest.
Deadpool: alright that's a-OW!!!
Deadpool was launched a few feet by a fire ball as scorpion got up and pulled the swords out of his chest.
Deadpool: HOLD IT!!! you heal fast too? i got something to deal with that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PgaZ_6YXy0
Deadpool pulls out his carbonadium sword.
Deadpool: CARBONADIUM SWORD!!!!! killing all your pesky wolverines and saberteeth sense 2012, and it killed deathstoke on death battle.
Scorpion grabbed a sword and the two ran at each other. as their blades collided Deadpool used one hand to pull out a pistol, then looked at the viewers again.
Deadpool: hey, MY rap is playing, so how did you not expect this?
Deadpool then shoot scorpion in the leg. as scorpion screamed in pain Deadpool kicked him over and stabbed his arms with two sais.
Deadpool: alright, where's Quan Chi?
Scorpion: Quan Chi is dead, i made sure of that.
Deadpool: damn it, alright. time to die.
before Scorpion could do anything, Deadpool had cut is head off.
Deadpool: seriously, did you except this looser to beat me? I killed the damn marvel universe. and to those of you who said it was dreadpool, I KILLED DREADPOOL!!!!!!!!!!
K.O.!!!!!!!
K.O.[]
Deadpool: oh death battle fanon wiki, i see your hate comment scrolling, so many, oh it wounds me so. IT DOES NOT!!!! explain how i beat this dipshit.
scythe: don't tell me how to do my job. ahem. this was a pretty close match. while scorpion was smarter, more experienced, and his hellfire kept Deadpool on his toes, that was about it.
soul: Deadpool was far superior, physically that is. and his larger array of weapons where more than scorpion was prepared for. and if you still don't this Deadpool should win...the carbonadium sword would be enough to kill scorpion
advantages and disadvantages
Deadpool
- +physically superior
- +healing factor
- +overwhelming array of weapons
- +unpredictable
- +carbonadium sword
- +much, much more deadly
- -dumber
- -more cocky
- -less experienced
- -scorpions hellfire
scorpion
- +smarter
- +more experienced
- +hellfire
- -physically weaker
- -less weapons
- -less deadly
- -more predictable
- -couldn't counter the healing factor
- -carbonadium sword
- -and more
scythe: we aren't saying scorpion wouldn't go down without a fight, but in the end...
soul: scorpion couldn't keep his dead in the game
scythe: the winner is-
Deadpool: ME, DEADPOOL!!!!!
soul: NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE
"it's a beautiful day outside"
"birds are singing, flowers are blooming"
"on days like this, humans like you"
all three: SHOULD BE BURNING IN HELL
Deadpool: wow...i did NOT see that coming.