Marvel vs Kill La Kill! Which one of these beloved fourth wall breaking, regenerating combatants come out on top?
Interlude[]
Wizard: The Fourth Wall is very...very fragile.....
Boomstick: AND TODAY I'LL BE COMPLETELY SHATTERED! With Deadpool: Marvel's Merc with a Moouth
Wizard: And Nui Harime:..I'm not even sure how to describe her...
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick
Wizard: And it's our gob to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win.... a
Deadpool and Nui: A DEATH BATTLE
Wizard and Boomstick scream.
Deadpool[]
Wizard: Wade Wilson...Where do I start with him...?
Boomstick: Maybe the part where he's BATSHIT INSANE!
Deadpool: Awww thank you!
Wizard: Most of his history is unkown even to him, he could be taken under Nick Fury's wing one minute, and a hired mercenary under William Stryker the next, or the most accepted: he was a cancer patient taken into the Weapon X Program. Where Wade was experimented on and became horribly disfigured as a result
Boomstick: And the inmates at the faciliry gave him the idea for his famous alter ego...Dea
Deadpool: DEADPOOL!
Wiz and Boomstick: DAMNIT!
Deadpool: Thank you, thank you. I'll take it from here, thank you~
Wizard: N-no this is our sho-
Deadpool tapes Wizard's mouth shut
Deadpool: As I was saying, those experiments gave me an awesome healing factor! I've survived the Chrysler Building collapsing on top of me, being melted into a puddle, and since my healing factor is derived from Wolverine's, it's safe to say I can walk off a nuclear bomb! So I'd say my healing's a bit too OP
Boomstick: Yeah...anyway, Deadpool's a skilled fighter, and can easily use almost all types of weapons, be it guns, swords, sai, bolas, grenades, etc. He even has a teleportation belt, which IS prone to malfunctioning every once in a while. AND he has some really weird weapons, a shotgun tht fires rabid hamsters, and insect swarm grenades to name two
Wizard screams, but he is muffled by the tape
Deadpool knocks him out again
Deadpool: I even have a couple of toys that can stop healing factors entirely, my Carbonadium blade, Degeneration Beam, and Universal Acid. Which I used to kill an alternate version of myself which killed ANOTHER Marvel Universe, most people will argue that my mouth is my greatest weapon. I see where they're comic fr-
Boomstick flips a switch
Deadpool: OOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo-
Boomstick removes the tape from Wizard's mouth
Wizard inhales and exhales
Wizard: Is he gone?
Boomstick: Yup
Wizard: Great. Anyway, Deadpool's feats are...rather impresive...He can lift 800 tons, his agility, strenth, stamina and speed are beyond peak human levels. He's beaten Super Skrull, battled the Hulk when his healing was negated...fought zombie presidents, his mind is so messed up, that Professor X was rendered braindead after trying to shut his mind off. He also knows how to use Captain America's shield....well
Boomstick: He's the sole person in the Marvel Universe to outwit Taskmaster! Y'know, the guy that can copy your moves just by lookin' at you? Yeah, him. Sometimes even Deadpool himself can't keep up with whatever he's doing!
Wizard: He can dodge point blank machine gun fire, he's completely regenerated from a single hand, resistant to mind control, and he's succsessfully killed Wolverine and Watcher with little effort. And defeated 100 ninjas, whist talking on the phone. Needless to say, Deadpool hs a lot of crazy feats, almost as crazy as he is. But he does have his downfalls
Boomstick: Yeah, his healing isn't perfect. His hed needs re-attachment, he's also killable by drowning, suffocation and destroying, vaporizing or incinerating all his cells. He's impulsive and is often distracted, he's been defeated by nearly everyone in the Marvel Universe, like Daredevil, Punisher, and Spider-Man, to name a few
Wizard: Deadpool rarely takes any given situation seriously, but if and when he does, he's almost unstoppable.
Deadpool crawls out of the hole Boomstick dropped him
Deadpool: Now let's see my competitio-
Wizard now presses a button Deadpool is seemingly vaporized by a laser
Boomstick: ..Soooo
Wiz: No, he didn't die, he's in the arena now
Boomstick: Oh
Nui[]
Wizard: Kill La Kill, is an interesting universe.....
Boomstick: Yeah, it's the anime meaning of less clothes = more power
Wizard: But then there's Nui Harime, born as an experiment of Ragyo Kiryuin, Nui was placed in an artificial womb to be synthesized with Life Fibers. As a result, Nui became Ragyo's favorite and was made REVOCS Grand Couturier, creating a majority of the clothing used by her "mamam" and REVOC employees
Boomstick: Nui was also a skilled assassin, sent to kill Isshin Matoi when he was devising a means to stop Ragyo's plan. Nui succeeds, but loses her left eye while taking half of the Rending Scissors Isshin created.
Wizard: But being the spoiled brat she is, Nui decided to gloat of her murderous action with great zeal to Isshin's daughter Ryūko Matoi just for her sick pleasure.
Boomstick: Great! Both are opponents are psychopaths!
Wizard: Anyway, as stated before Nui weilded the other half of the Rending Scissors, weapons specifically made to cut through Life Fibers. Also, after her arms cot severed, Ragyo replaced her armsn, making them into lethal weapons as well. She can make needle-like arm blade, and make bat wings for flight.
Boomstick: Nui can also make clones of herself, though physically identical to the real Nui with all of her abilities, they duplicates appear to be weaker unless used in a group.
Wizard: She can use her Life Fibers like marionette string, using them to take over someone's mind. Nui can use a variation of this to animate actual puppets that she can disguise as people.
Boomstick: She was able to blitz Sychronized Ryuko, placing tacking needles all over her body while the two are fighting without her seeing or noticing it
Wizard: Just like her opponent...she can break the 4th wall
Knock
Knock
Knock
Wizard: Ohhhh no....
Nui: Hello, Death Battle~
Boomstick: SHIT! WE JUST BOARDED THAT WALL UP TOO!
Nui then tapes Boomstick's mouth shut and kicks him away. But Nui didn't know about the button that Wiz pressed when they dealt with Deadpool. Nui screams as she falls
Wizard: Nui can lose her calm and collective personality if she's losing a match she can lose her calm and collective personality. And due to her hybrid physiology, Harime is unable to use Kamui. She constantly underestimates her opponents while constantly instigating them. If one of her limbs or head is severed completely (which has to be done fast and at both sides at once), it can't regenerate.
Boomstick: We ready sure about this?
Wizard: Yup...
Pre-Fight[]
Wizard: Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
FIGHT[]
Deadpool looks at a sheet in his hand. He's been hired to assassinate what seems like a harmless little girl.
Deadpool: Well, this is probably the weirdest job I've been hired to-
Deadpool shoots her, but she disappears in a puff of smoke
Are we...high?
Most likely...
Deadpool: Shut it, voices!
Deadpool saw a purple sword shoved through his chest, this was Nui's Scissor Blade
Deadpool turned around
Deadpool looked back at the paper, back at Nui, again and again for about 10 seconds.
Deadpool: I guess we're doin' this now, huh?
Deadpool ripped the blade from his chest and kicked her back
Nui: You'll be fun to toy with!
Deadpool unsheaths his katanas, and spins them around
Deadpool and Nui both scream 'FIGHT' as it begins
Deadpool's katanas and Nui's scissor blade both clash in a flurry of sparks, both of their arms are practically invisible as the blades clash each other
Deadpool sheathes his katanas, and blood erupts from Nui. Deadpool kicks her in the air and unloads two full AK-47 mags into Nui. Nui is sent back, but she stops herself via her Scissor Blade. Which she then chucks it right through Deadpool's skull.
Deadpool falls over and Nui walks up to him. She yanks it out and walks away
Nui: That takes care of tha-
Deadpool gets up, both sides of his head dangling ove his shoulders
Deadpool: Ah, shit...
Deadpool re-attaches both sides of his head.
Deadpool: Talk about a SPLITTING headache!
Nui: Oh, this'll be fun!
She launches herself at Deadpool
Deadpool: Guess it's CUTTING TIME!
When Nui reaches him, Deadpool cuts her with his katanas from multiple directions. Deadpool the places a grenade right beside her
Nui: SHhi-
Nui is launched into the air and Deadpool fires a rocket launcher at her
She cuts it in half with one of her Life Fiber arm, and speeds down to Deadpool's position, she stabs her arm right into Deadpool's torso
Deadpool: MY SPLEEN!
She rips her arm out and starts spinning her Scissor Blade, hitting Deadpool over and over again, the latter letting out feminine screams
Deadpool's wounds quickly healed and both him and Nui stab each other
Deadpool jumps on the blades of his swords and shoots Nui with a hunting rifle right in the face
Deadpool reaches up, and grabs the thumbnail of the video
Deadpool launches Nui halfway across the city, and into the subway system
Deadpool shows up and taunts her
Deadpool: C'mon, I thought you anime chicks were supposed to put up a fiiiii-
Deadpool looks around him, seeing a around 20 Nui clones surrounding him.
Deadpool: Oh shi-
The Nui clones dash around him, all giggling. They begin cutting Deadpool in multiple areas of his body. Deadpool fights his way out with...
Deadpool: Maximum effort!
He pants as his wounds heal up
Deadpool turns around dramatically and pulls out his katanas
Deadpool: LET'S DO THIS!
Deadpool rips through the Nui hoard, before spotting the real one and attemts to impale her through the skull
Deadpool: YA LIKE THIS!?
Deadpool finds his swords blocked by Nui's Scissor Blade, and the two start a mini swordfight. This time, Nui starts gaining the upper hand and cuts Deadpool in multiple areas
Blood splatters everywhere. But Deadpool quickly heal and kicks Nui right into an incoming train. Which Deadpool proceeds to hop on to
Nui climbs up, visibly pissed off now.
Nui: I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
Nui extends her Life Fibers and attempts to take over Deadpool's mind. But finds she is unable too
Nui: Huh?
Deadpool grabs said life fibers, and cuts them with a pair of scissors. Nui dashed at him with her Life Fiber arms, now blades and dashed around Deadpool, cutting him over and over. When the train finally comes to a stop, both are covered in blood.
Deadpool throws stun and frag grenades in Nui's direction.
He's first disoriented and then kicked off the train
Deadpool reached into his magic satchel and pulls out his Carbonadium Katana
Deadpool: Meet the healing factor killer herself! The Carbonadium Sword!
Deadpool readies for a swing, but another train comes by, taking Deadpool's arm and the sword with it
Deadpool screams in pain when Nui just blinks twice
Deadpool: AAAAHHHHHOOOWWWW! CANADA!!!
Deadpool regrows his arm in about 30 seconds
Nui bisects Deadpool with her Scissor Blade and kicks the legs onto the train tracks below, another train comes by
Nui puts her Scissor Blade right at Deadpool's neck
Nui: Any last words, Mr?
Deadpool: Say cheese!
Deadpool pulls out the Matter Disintegration gun and shoots Nui with it, she looks at her arms, which disintegrates.
Deadpool: BEHOLD! The Matter Disintegraton gun! I've never seen anyone survive it, let's see you try!
She dropped her Scissor Blade and screams as the rest of her body is disintegrated
Deadpool: Huh, guess not..
KO!
Deadpool takes Nui's Scissor Blade and stashes it wherever he keeps his weapons-
Analysis[]
Nui: HEY! THAT WASN'T NICE!
Deadpool: I DON'T PLAY NI-
Wizard: Shut up! Both of you and let us do the analysis!
Both: Okay-
Wizard: This match was surprisingly even, both really didn't have many ways to put the other down, but in Deadpool's case, he simply had more ways
Boomstic: Both are very unpredictable, but Deadpool is the SOLE PERSON to outwit Taskmaster. Sometimes not even Deadpool himself can keep up with what he's doing
Wizard: Nui most definately has the speed advantage in the bag, but speed really doesn't matter if your opponent is that much stronger and has a much wider arsenal
Boomstick: Nui and Deadpool are pretty much matched in healing, But as far as we've seen, Deadpool's survived much worse, being melted, having bouildings collapsed on top of him, even regenerating from a single drop of blood!
Wizard: But the main reason Deadpool won was the Matter Disintgration gun. Nui had absolutely no way of countering it. If Deadpool whipped this out Nui was done for
???: Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale... if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world... somebody lied.
???: See that's where you're wrong, Bertrand. Conduits aren't monsters. No, see powers don't kill people. Oh no... it's the person behind the powers... that kill people.
Trivia[]
The connection between Deadpool and Nui is that they're both science experiments that can break the 4th wall, they constantly joke and are damn near impossible to put down
This Flare-Rex's 3rd Death Battle in his new series
This fight was something Flare-Rex had in mind for a while
If this fight had an original soundtrack, it would be called 'Self-Aware Crazies'
