Darth Vader vs Meta is a What if? Death Battle.
Description[]
Star Wars vs. RvB! These two were once good, but after being manipulated, became evil, went on a rampage, and eventually died, but which former main antagonist with armor will win?
Intro[]
(Cue this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92H3Mscg7QQ)
Wiz: The classic tale of the supposed hero turning bad has been told throughout basically everything.
Boomstick: But what if the now turned villain had armor!
Wiz: Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith.
Boomstick: And The Meta, the rogue Freelancer.
Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle?
Darth Vader[]
(Cue this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bzWSJG93P8)
Wiz: After his parents were killed by Tusken Raiders, young Anakin was sold into slavery, but little did he know that he was actually the Chosen One.
Boomstick: Oh boy not another one. There's like a thousand Chosen Ones by now.
Wiz: He discovered this when two Jedi masters named Qui Gon Jinn and Obi Wan Kenobi adopted him from slavery and started training him under the Force.
Boomstick: But as he grew up, he became more whiney and more power hungry. In a desperate attempt to gain more power, he joined Palpatine and went under the name Darth Vader.
Wiz: Obi Wan eventually found out and they dueled, which ended in Anakin falling in the lava.
Boomstick: It's just like a much hotter Hot Tub!
Wiz: However, his master Palpatine found him and brought him back to the Death Star, where he gave him a suit, turning the once noble Jedi into a Sith Lord.
Boomstick: But unlike Anakin, Vader isn't a whiney bitch and is a real badass! Not only did he get a new Lightsaber, but also a new badass voice which rivals mine!
Wiz: Vader is extremely powerful with the Force, knowing a ton of different Force techniques, like the Force Choke, Force TK, Force Mind Reading, Force Lightning, Force Speed, Force Scream and Force Crush.
Boomstick: He also can fire electric projectiles called Kinentite, which are strong enough to destroy buildings and knock Luke unconscious!
Wiz: But he doesn't only rely on the Force. He's an excellent duelist, capable of matching some of the greatest Jedi like Obi Wan, Yoda and even Starkiller, who can lift Star Destroyers with one hand.
Boomstick: He's killed thousands of Jedi, has tanked multiple explosions, Lightsaber strikes and blaster shots with minor damage. Hell, not even an entire factory exploding in his face is enough to put him down! Even before he was Vader, he survived falling in lava, which can be as hot as 2,120 degrees Fahrenheit. Holy hell that's hot!
Wiz: But Vader is not perfect. He's much slower than he used to be, and can be quickly angered, though this does make him stronger. He also is weak to electricity, as shown in Return of the Jedi when he got killed by the Emperor's Force Lightning.
Boomstick: But despite this, Vader is one kickass Sith Lord.
Vader: Join me, and together, we can rule the galaxy as father and son!
Meta[]
(Cue this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw2VDWB-u2Y)
Wiz: Agent Maine was once a noble and respected Freelancer, but after a serious throat injury, he was given an artificial intelligence unit named Sigma, which was made to help him communicate to the others.
Boomstick: Instead, Sigma and the other units corrupted Maine, turning him into a wild savage that makes Predator grunts!
Wiz: He escaped his hospital room and broke free out of the Freelancer base, slaughtering basically anyone who got in his way and began his reign of terror.
Boomstick: Unlike the other Freelancers, Maine usually relies on his brute strength in battles, being able to break steel with ease and can also overpower Carolina and Tex with ease.
Wiz: But when the times do get tough, Meta busts some heavy weapons like the Brute Shot, a heavy weapon that can also become a sword. He also has a standard pistol and grenade, and the classic sticky grenade, which can stick onto targets.
Boomstick: He also can summon a dome shield at will, which can tank laser fire like nothing. He also can become invisible, camouflage, and also has a motion tracker. Imagine all the fun things I could do with invisibility...
Wiz: But his most powerful ability is the strange ability to stop time with his Time Distortion Unit. This stops time for 5 seconds, and that's basically it.
Boomstick: Meta's strong enough to throw 500 lb. warthogs with ease, is the strongest character in the RvB universe, and is extremely durable, able to tank 9 shots to the throat, getting impaled by an energy sword, being ran over by a warthog, and even missiles! This guy just won't die!
Wiz: Actually, he already died.
Boomstick: WHAT?
Wiz: Despite being extremely durable, Meta can only take so much. He also isn't very smart, and is a giant target, and if he misses, he's left wide open. Also, he can't speak.
Boomstick: But despite being Master Chief and Predator's love child, he still kicks ass.
Counselor: A brute. Strong, unrelenting, fearless. He had no qualms when being asked to do the unpleasant, the morally questionable, because despite what many thought of him he knew he was, at his core, a soldier, and his actions inevitably served the greater good.
Death Battle[]
Darth Vader and a small group of Stormtroopers walked through an unknown arena, looking for any remaining Jedi. Suddenly, a shot is heard and a Stormtrooper falls dead. The other 5 hold up their guns, ready to fire.
Vader: No, I shall handle this. I don't want to have any more casualties.
As the Stormtroopers leave the area, another bullet is shot, but Vader easily dodges and Force Pushes the invisible thing, revealing itself to be The Meta.
Vader: Don't underestimate the power of the Dark Side.
FIGHT!
(Cue this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST1t2mBkykA)
The Meta pulls out his Brute Shot and fires at Vader, who deflects the bullets with his Lightsaber and Force Pulls Meta towards him. When Meta is close by, Vader slashes him three times before Force Pushing him into a wall, launching the Meta backwards.
Sigma: Don't let him win.
The Meta easily recovers and activates his energy sword, running at full speed. However, Vader sees this coming and parries the blow. The two engage in a sword fight before Meta gains the advantage and punches Vader in the chest, causing Vader to yelp in pain.
Meta then rapidly punches and kicks Vader, but Vader ends the combo by Force Pushing Meta a few feet back, giving him space. Vader throws his Lightsaber at The Meta, who dodges and activates his camouflage.
Vader: You can't hide from the Force.
Vader lifts some objects with the Force and throws them at Meta, who reappears and activates his dome shield. Meta then pulls out his Brute Shot once more and fires more shots at Vader, who simply rushes threw the bullets and swings his Lightsaber, barely missing Maine.
Delta: Destroy him.
Meta growls and kicks Vader, knocking Vader backwards, but the Sith Lord easily recovers and begins Force Choking Meta. In a last ditch effort, Meta activates Time Distortion, causing Vader to lose grip of Maine.
(Cue this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcQ853ibg08)
Now freed from the choke, Meta places three grenades near Vader and rushes for cover behind a brick. When time starts again, Vader is immediately launched backwards by the grenades, knocking him into a wall, but he recovers with ease.
Vader: It will take more than that to finish me.
Vader fires balls of Kinetite at Meta, who activates his dome shield, knocking the projectiles aside. Vader, becoming annoyed, uses Force Speed and rushes towards Meta, who rushes up towards him and kicks him in the face, knocking Vader down.
Meta pins down Vader on the ground, but Vader Force Pushes Meta off him, launching the former Freelancer off of him. While Meta was in the air, Vader starts throwing him around like a ragdoll before slamming him up and down multiple times, causing craters to form.
Sigma: Get up.
Meta gets up, heavily bleeding. In a fit of rage, Meta grabs a nearby warthog and throws it at the Sith Lord, who throws it back at Meta, slamming right into Meta's face. Vader walked towards Maine like a badass and threw the warthog off Meta before telekinetically lifting Meta in the air.
(Cue this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-gN-rUxtio)
Vader: Die.
An X-Ray is shown of Meta's body. In a split second, Meta's ribs and heart blow up. Meta screams in agony on the ground. In a smooth motion, Vader slices Meta in half, causing guts to spill everywhere.
Vader: All too easy.
KO!
Agent Texas enters the building, only to get Force Choked.
Meta's body is left to rot.
Results[]
Boomstick: Now that's what we call overkill! I like it!
Wiz: While the Meta had more weapons, he was terribly outclassed in basically every other subject possible. He had no chance of winning this whatsoever.
Boomstick: Maine really couldn't do much here. While Meta can lift warthogs, Vader can lift AT-ATs and Imperial Starships with ease, which weight over 1,000 tons. And in terms of speed, while Meta can dodge gunfire, Vader can react to lasers, which are faster than light.
Wiz: To make matters worse, Maine had no way to counter the Force. If Vader really wanted to, he could've just turned Meta's suit into a tin can and be on his way. And while the Time Stop would leave Vader vulnerable, nothing Meta had could possibly hope to kill Vader, as he's survived falling in lava.
Boomstick: No matter how much Meta tried, he just couldn't enFORCE Vader's end.
Wiz: The winner is Darth Vader
Advantages and Disadvantages[]
Darth Vader - WINNER
- +Stronger
- +Faster
- +Better fighter
- +Smarter
- +More durable
- +Force hax
- -Less weaponry
The Meta - LOSER
- +More weaponry
- -Extremely outclassed