By I'm Lynda
By Venage237
Darth Vader vs. Ego is a What-If? Death Battle created by Halloween7, and written by I'm Lynda. It features Darth Vader from the Disney Star Wars Canon, and Ego from the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Description[]
Two cinematic villains; lousy fathers, but tremendously powerful opponents. It’s Star Wars versus the MCU!
Interlude[]
Wiz: Darth Vader, murderous Sith Lord, and the biggest and baddest of the Star Wars villains.
Boomstick: And, Ego, the living planet; one of the most dangerous of villains in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Wiz: What do these two have in common?
Boomstick: They’re both absentee fathers who mistreated their baby mommas, and then set out to use their long-lost sons for their own ends.
Wiz: I’m Wiz, and he’s Boomstick.
Boomstick: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Darth Vader[]
Wiz: In a galaxy far, far away there was an evil empire...which didn’t really have a name. It was merely the Galactic Empire to differentiate it from the Galactic Republic.
Boomstick: The leader of the Galactic Empire was Emperor Palpatine, and his trusted right-hand man was known to everyone as Darth Vader.
Wiz: Years earlier, Anakin Skywalker and his mother were slaves on the desert planet of Tatooine. One day, two Jedi Knights were trapped on Tatooine, during a mission, and they discovered that Anakin was strong in the Force. They took him to the capitol planet of Coruscant, so that he could be trained as a Jedi Knight but first they had to find a way to buy him.
Boomstick: Anakin helped the Jedi by piloting a podracer in an epic race through the desert. And so, he was taken to the Jedi Temple, and learned all about the Force. When Anakin’s mother was killed by Tusken Raiders, in a fit of rage he killed the Tuskens, beginning his journey to the dark side of the Force. Supreme Chancellor Palpatine worked hard behind the scenes to manipulate the young man, and mold him into his future Sith Apprentice.
Wiz: Eventually, Anakin became Darth Vader, and worked hard to forward Palpatine’s plans for a Sith future. But before he knoew it, Vader’s plans were undone by his love for his son. He attacked the Emperor, and killed one of his cloned bodies. During the climactic battle, Vader was mortally wounded, and he died in the arms of his son.
Boomstick: [Crying] I wish I could have a dramatic reconciliation with my father!
Wiz: We need to stop here, and explain what the Force is. The Force is a supernatural energy that flows through all living things, being somewhat close to the concept of Chi. It allows its users to produce seemingly magical effects, when it is manipulated by a trained user.
Boomstick: But, the Force has two sides, a light side and a dark side. And, yes, little orphan Annie is definitely on the dark side.
Wiz: Darth Vader is totally ruthless in using the range of potent abilities that he has at his fingertips, all of which are drawn from the power of the Force.
Boomstick: One of old D.V.’s coolest powers is to be able to use the force to choke someone, even at a distance, even over a Zoom call!
Wiz: Another power is that he can use the force to either push someone or something away, or pull someone or something to him. He has used this power to throw opponents, and even pull the blasters right out of their hands. He has pushed battle droids away from himself, and pulled a spaceship to him while also pushing himself aboard it.
Boomstick: He always carries his handy-dandy lightsaber. He is an expert with its uses, and can even throw it away, and use the Force to have it boomerang back to his hand. This make for a very useful surprise attack.
Wiz: He can also use the Force to make something of a forcefield around himself, using it to block blaster shots and even more powerful attacks.
Boomstick: He can sort of sift through people’s minds, being able to detect their thoughts, and even enhance their fears.
Wiz: But, Vader is not limited to only using his Force powers. His cybernetic body parts and hyper-advanced body armor makes him super-humanly strong and fast, and allows him to take more damage than any normal human would be able to do.
Boomstick: He’s a fantastically powerful individual, effectively a one-man army. He’s not the Evil Emperor’s right-hand man for nothing. He is ruthless and willing to do whatever it takes to win. If you encounter this man, be afraid...be VERY afraid!
Ego[]
Wiz: Ego is a Celestial, a member of a race of beings that date back to before the Big Bang. As a race, they possess great powers of matter and energy manipulation.
Boomstick: Ego himself became self-aware millions of years ago. At the time, he looked like nothing so much as a giant brain, floating in space.
Wiz: As he learned to manipulate the matter around him, he collected stray molecules, building up a planet around himself, one about the size of Earth’s Moon.
Boomstick: As he was living in isolation at the time, he began to wonder what other lifeforms would look like, so he spent time creating a free-ranging body that he could send out into the universe. Basically, it was an avatar, but instead of looking like a cartoon character or something, it looked like the actor Kurt Russell.
Wiz: That was probably coincidental. Anyway, going out into the universe, and meeting the lifeforms that populated it, Ego was…disappointed. So, he came up with a plan, a plan to remake the universe in his own image, reshaping all worlds into extensions of himself. But, he soon realized that he would need the power of a second Celestial to make the plan work.
Boomstick: So, Ego’s Mini-Me travelled the universe, planting the seeds of his “Expansion,” and planting his DNA in any female that he could seduce. In this way, he created a veritable army of children, in the hopes that at least one of them would inherit the Celestial gene, and become a useful tool in his plan.
Wiz: Unfortunately for him, as each of his children was brought to him, he was disappointed to find that they could not access the Celestial power, and as such were of no use to him.
Boomstick: And, unfortunately for them, since he had no use for them, he simply killed each of the little disappointments, and unceremoniously dumped their bodies in an unused Ego cave. Gee, and I thought that my dad was bad!
Wiz: But, eventually, Ego heard about an earthling called Star-Lord, who was able to hold an Infinity Stone in his hand and live. At that point, Ego knew that this was a child of his that had actually inherited the Celestial gene. It was time to put his plan into operation, to implement the Expansion.
Boomstick: So, he rescued the Star-Lord from a Sovereign drone fleet, and set about recruiting him to his cause. He tried to explain that all creatures that weren’t born Celestials, like them, were not worth considering, and that’s why he gave Star-Lord’s mother cancer. Well, as you might expect, Star-Lord flew off the handle at this revelation, and tried to blast Ego to pieces.
Wiz: Unfortunately, he was blowing holes, not in Ego’s true self, but in his avatar. Ego reformed himself, and seized Star-Lord to use his power without his cooperation. But, with the help of the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy, Star-Lord succeeded in planting a rather dangerous bomb against Ego’s true self, ending him once and for all.
Boomstick: As an opponent, Ego is NOT someone you would want to meet in a dark cave.
Wiz: However, we should specify that in a way there are two Egos. First of all, there is the Celestial Ego that controls the planet, and then there’s Ego’s avatar. When encountered on the world of Ego, the avatar is merely a focus of the Celestial, and it can be reformed and reshaped at Ego’s merest thoughts. The Celestial Ego appears as a glowing blue brain that is housed in the center of Ego’s planet.
Boomstick: Ego himself described his power as being “light.” This light appears as a fiery blue energy Ego can move and shape at will. In particular he could create light tentacles that can grab and move things, such as when he used them to tether himself to the outside of his spacecraft, or when he grabbed Peter Quill with them. These tentacles can also become more diffuse and pass through someone, causing them pain and even incapacitating them, without causing actual physical damage.
Wiz: He can also fire blasts of energy, such as when he used his powers to destroy an entire fleet of Sovereign drone ships.
Boomstick: Ego’s avatar is effectively immune to harm. It can be blasted to pieces and yet be almost instantly reformed, and it can be reshaped to any size or form, including that of actor David Hasselhoff. It is inhumanly strong, being able smash through stones and hurl people long distances and even crush a Walkman in one hand.
Wiz: During Ego’s fight with Star-Lord, the avatar was able to manipulate the matter around him, aggregating rocks gathered from around him to make a large fist, or even a larger body. He was able to fly, and he could even fly with a large amount of rocks around him.
Boomstick: Planet Ego is pretty godlike, having the power to do all that and to even fight all of the Guardians of the Galaxy at the same time. But, his greatest weakness is his core. It takes a lot to harm this core, but it nonetheless can be hurt. So, Ego encased his core in a shell of a particularly strong material. It was so strong that the Guardians needed a specialized mining machine to dig through to it.
Wiz: Another weakness is that to fully experience what it means to be alive, Ego gave his avatar pain receptors, and if the avatar experiences enough pain, it will distract him. And a even bigger weakness is that the light tentacles that Ego uses is an extension of himself. This means that an attack on the “light” is an attack on Ego himself. This was shown when Mantis was able to user her psychic powers to put Planet Ego to sleep through her touching a tentacle.
Boomstick: So, Ego is an opponent like very few others. He’s not just a man with powers; he’s a godlike alien with mega-powers. Yep, Star-Lord’s father is so fat that he has his own gravity…but don’t tell him that!
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set; let’s end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!
DEATH BATTLE![]
Pre-Fight[]
The TIE Advanced x1 bobbed and weaved through the various drones of the Sovereign Fleet, energy beams illuminating the darkness of space around it in a light show of death. Darth Vader used the Force to navigate through the dangers, the way he had so many times before, going all the way back to his childhood.
Suddenly, a flash of violent energy lashed out and danced across the drones, causing them all to erupt in violent explosions. In the blink of an eye the entire Sovereign Fleet was turned into cosmic dust.
“What?” he asked in amazement, seeing a spaceship fly by with a man riding on top of it like it was a Tatooine sand-barge.
The man on the ship waved, and beaconed Vader to follow him. Overcome with curiosity, the Sith complied.
Arriving at a small planet, Lord Vader landed his ship alongside the other man’s craft, and climbed out into a sylvan, almost fantastical landscape. The side of the other craft opened, and an older, bearded man stepped out.
He raised his hands, and proudly announced, “Welcome to my world.”
Vader glanced around quickly, and then turned back to the man.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“I thought that my rugged good looks would make that obvious.” The man answered seriously. “My name is Ego, and I am your father, Anakin.”
Vader stood dumfounded, only the sound of his respirator reverberating around the field they stood in.
Walking around a large room in Ego’s fantastically ornate home, he slowly spun out his tale. How he was a Celestial, a most ancient race that possessed godlike power. How he had travelled to Shmi Skywalker on Tatooine, and the two had fallen in love, and from that liaison, Shmi had gotten pregnant. How Ego had had to leave Tatooine and Shmi, but when he heard about a Jedi with powers beyond those of most other Jedi, he knew that Anakin Skywalker was his long-lost son. How he had looked for Anakin, but lost all trace of him. And, when he heard of the exploits of a Sith Lord named Darth Vader, he knew that he had found him again.
He told him of his origin and his search for life. He told him of his plan to fill the universe with himself, but that he needed another Celestial to do it. He told him how he had moved throughout the galaxy, spreading his seed, and he told him how his other children had all been disappointing.
Then, Ego walked up to Darth Vader, and clamped his hands on his shoulders.
“We’re together now, son,” Ego said smiling. “And for the first time, I am truly not alone! You and I..."
Lord Vader only listened halfway to ranting of this entity. He reached out with the Force, and probed the man standing before him. He was little more than a projection of a great entity, an entity at the center of the planet; an entity of great power; an entity that was speaking truths and lies and half-truths in an immeasurable verbal knot.
Vader decided that it was time to cut this knot.
FIGHT! []
Moving too fast to be seen, Darth Vader activated his lightsaber and slashed through Ego. He cut him through the middle, and then from shoulder to crotch, and then he thrust the sword through the avatar’s chest.
Everywhere that the saber had cut, instead of flesh and blood a brilliant blue-and-white energy danced. Ego looked down at the humming energy sword transfixing him, and then back up again at Vader.
“Just who the hell do you think that you are?” he demanded angrily.
Then, he lifted his hand, and a tentacle of blue-and-white energy thrust up from the floor and transfixed the Sith Lord. Vader cried out in pain and pulled back, reactivating the saber.
“I wanted to do this together,” Ego continued. “I suppose you’ll have to learn by spending the next thousand years as a battery!”
Vader could feel the energy being drawn out of him, as Ego began his “Expansion.” He cried out in pain.
But, pain was Vader’s constant companion. It filled his sleepless nights and his hurried days. And the pain came in the company of anger and hate. Vader seized the hate and anger and let it flow through his mind. Then, he channeled the Dark Side of the Force
Turning his lightsaber in his hand, he activated it with the blade facing down, and then swung it behind his back, severing the energy tentacle that held him.
He dropped to the floor, and thrust out his hand, using the Force to shove Ego with all his might. The avatar flew across the room and smashed into a wall. Then, he pulled on the wall around the alien, causing it to collapse onto him.
Reaching out with the Force, he could feel that he had not truly damaged Ego, but merely enraged the entity. Reaching out farther, he could tell that this moon was not truly a solid world containing a liquid or solidified core. Instead, Ego the Celestial was the core, and he had accreted matter around himself. As such, it was not at all solid, but was a honeycomb of caverns and caves and passages.
Using the Force, he tore at the floor, pulling two huge slabs away, and exposing a deep-diving cave. At that point, an energy tentacle lashed out at him. Vader used his lightsaber to cut the tentacle, and then he leaped into the blackness of the cave.
He plummeted down and down, using the Force to propel himself forward. As he descended, energy tentacles lashed out from the walls at him. He spun and twirled his lightsaber so that it became a wheel of red light, slicing through the tentacles as they appeared.
Finally, he dropped into an enormous cavern. Great columns of stone formed a spider web around the central core. Feeling with the Force, he knew that that was where Ego’s true self was found.
Propelling himself forward, Lord Vader finally landed on Ego’s core.
Abruptly, a column of rock shattered and crumbled away, exposing a humanoid made of solid light. The figure began to walk forward, and as it did it sprouted bones and muscles, and then skin and hair. The avatar of Ego was back. He raised his hand, and blue-and-white energy tentacles lanced out, transfixing Vader again.
“Why are you destroying our chance?” Ego demanded. “What greater meaning can life possibly have to offer?”
Pain arced across and through every nerve ending in Vader’s body. And in the back of his head he heard the laughter of his master.
In his mind’s eye, he saw his mother killed by Tusken Raiders, and then he saw himself kill the Tuskens. He saw the Jedi Council with their lies and hypocrisy. He saw all that he had done for Padmé Amidala, and then her betrayal of him. He saw Obi-Wan Kenobi take his stand against him, and then horribly disfigure him. He saw how the Dark Side of the Force brought him power and vengeance, allowing him to stand against a galaxy of scoundrels.
Again Darth Vader heard the voice of his master: “I can feel your anger. It gives you focus, makes you stronger.”
Summoning all of his strength, Vader turned and cut the energy tentacle. Then, he used the Force to push away the avatar. It flew across cavern, and smashed into the rock wall.
He knew that killing the avatar would do him no good. He had to take the fight to the Celestial. Raising his lightsaber, he thrust it into the stone beneath his feet. He began pulling, the rock sizzling and melting against the heat of the saber.
Suddenly, a giant hand closed around the Sith Lord, and pulled him up. Ego had rebuilt his avatar, but this time in giant form!
The hand pulled him towards a giant face that filled his field of vision.
“I tried so hard, and this is the thanks I get?” Ego demanded.
The Sith Lord did not panic. Instead, he freed his left hand and reached up. Channeling the Force through him he pulled will all his might.
“You really need to grow u...” Ego began, but his words were cut off when a huge stalactite plunged down, and transfixed his head, sending him flying down and backward.
Darth Vader tumbled out of the giant hand, using the Force to direct himself towards where his lightsaber shone, still carving into the rock.
He reached down, and moved the saber, broadening and deepening the cut. He could feel rocks and boulders falling all around him. But, he could also sense they were being directed, and not at him.
The Sith Lord raised his hand and a Force Barrier sprang up around him. It wasn’t a moment too soon.
A giant Ego made of rocks raised its fists and began to pummel the barrier, trying to get at him.
Drawing on the power of the Dark Side of the Force, Vader caused a sudden wave of kinetic energy to fly off from him. The explosion shattered boulders and simply blew the stone-avatar of Ego to pieces.
He was through.
Vader lifted his hand, and the plug of stone lifted into the air. Then, he tossed it to the side. He looked down into the dancing lights that was Ego the Celestial.
A nearly formed avatar appeared close by.
“Anakin, no!” he cried.
Vader could sense Ego’s panic, but he felt no pity.
He threw his lightsaber into the mass of Ego, and directed its movements around the celestial.
“Noooo!” the avatar of Ego cried, and then he crumbled into dust.
K.O.! []
The planet of Ego began quaking, and the lattice of its construction began crumbling. Vader could feel that it had been Ego’s will that held the body together.
Using the Force, he leaped from rock to rock, almost flying in his haste. He had to get to his TIE Fighter and be gone.
He still had the mission that his Master had given him. And he would let NOTHING stand in the way of that.
Results[]
Boomstick: No. No. No. I don’t see it. How could one man defeat a living planet?
Wiz: Ego was an impressive villain, arguably one of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s most powerful. His apparently effortless destruction of the Sovereign drone fleet was very impressive, while his ability to manipulate matter during his fight with Peter Quill would simply terrify most opponents.
Boomstick: However, his opponent was Darth Frickin’ Vader. Vader, with his mastery of the Force, is something of a walking Swiss Army knife of power. The destruction of the drone fleet would have been beyond him, but when it came to one-on-one fighting, he was practically without a peer. Hell, he was probably literally without a peer!
Wiz: When it comes to durability, Vader survived being hit by a cyborg rancor, survived multiple explosions, and even survived being struck by Darth Sidious’s Force lightning, something that had previously severely injured Sith, Darth Maul.
Boomstick: And when it comes to dishing out the hurt, he was one of the greatest masters of the lightsaber that had ever lived. He was able to use it to effectively against many opponents, being fast enough to block the blaster fire of squads of rebel soldiers, his saber moving so fast that it looked like a blur in his hand. Grand Moff Tarkin said that he had never seen anyone use the lightsaber as rapidly or as lethally as Vader.
Wiz: And, Vader is almost godlike in his ability to use the Force. He has used it to create shields and energy blasts, and he used it to lift heavy objects. He stopped an AT-AT from stepping on him, and he used it to bring down a spaceship. And, he used it to throw items, without gesturing towards them, while continuing in a lightsaber duel.
Boomstick: He further uses the Force to increase his lethality with the lightsaber. He can increase the intensity of his saber, allowing him to cut through things, such as the frickin’ leg of an AT-AT. He can also use it to control his lightsaber, while its not in his hand. He once through it into the mouth of a Lylek Queen, and used the Force to control the saber, cutting her up from the inside!
Wiz: While the Ego of the Marvel comic books is a godlike entity, able to go toe-to-toe with the likes of Galactus, the Ego of the MCU never demonstrated anything like those levels of power. He was powerful, but not godlike. And while it would be incorrect to describe Darth Vader as godlike, he is nonetheless a frighteningly powerful individual who is able to overcome many impossible situations and opponents.
Boomstick: And that’s why the winner of this battle is old bucket-head himself, Darth Vader!
Trivia[]
- When I first started researching this battle, I was fairly certain that Ego would prove to be the winner. I even created a “The Winner is...” card for him. However, as I researched the two opponents, I began to see that the advantage was clearly with Darth Vader.