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Dark Pit vs Jeanne
DPvsJ
Season 4, Episode 39
Vital statistics
Air date April 14, 2016
Written by Maxevil
Directed by Maxevil
Episode guide
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Slippy Toad vs Guldo Majin Buu vs Sailor Moon (Season 4 Finale)

Dark Pit vs Jeanne is a What-If? Death Battle.

Description[]

Nintendo vs Sega! Which of these two Rivals/Allies is deadlier?

Interlude[]

Wiz: We've all had the very fantasy of Bayonetta hunting down...

Boomstick: AND killing and getting ready to eat Pit and any other angels, via fan artwork and even Smash Bros. 4.

Wiz: But let us not forget their rivals/allies that made their adventures exciting.

Boomstick: Like Dark Pit, the Icarus doppleganger...

Wiz: ...and Jeanne, the last member of the French Branch of Umbra Witches.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Dark Pit[]

Wiz: Dark Pit is the doppleganger of Pit, being made in the Mirror of Truth.

Boomstick: The mirror of what now?

Wiz: The Mirror of Truth, a divine powered mirror that is said to duplicate of the certain being it reflects and make them look real, Pandora tried to use it to create an endless supply until Pit broke the mirror while his doppleganger is being created, thus that is how Dark Pit is being made as he is today.

Boomstick: Wow, having a doppleganger mock your appearance is possibly worst than having seven years worth of Bad luck. That and being stuck with the ex-wife.

Wiz: Any how, while Dark Pit is being the incomplete copy of regular Pit, He shares many of the bonding parts of him as well. And that includes many of the moves, like the First Bow, the EZ Cannon, the Violet Palm, the Ogfre Club, and the Silver Bow.

Boomstick: But of course, he has his own unique weapon, as well as the ability to fly, in which the weapon is the Dark Pit Staff. With this baby, he can fire orange colored shots with much more powerful range and sharp charged shots that get more powerful the more it travels, and when it hits the target, may god help them.

Wiz: And while he is more serious than Pit on most occasions, he is known for being cocky and arrogant, but when desperate times call for desperate measures, he will side with Pit to take care of the powerful troubling situations.

Boomstick: All the more reason why he is called the incomplete copy of Pit.

Dark Pit: Where's your goddess now?!

Jeanne[]

Boomstick: We all heard the story of how Bayonetta came around? Well around the same time, is the other Umbra Witch who was Heiress at the time, her name is Jeanne.

Wiz: Not only is Jeanne from the French branch of the Umbra Witch clan, she has certain opposite properties of that to Bayonetta. Such as she has a rather aggressive and serious personality for starters, she is also at times one step ahead of her at times, to the point where she taunts Bayonetta on her memories, especially since she knows more of her past than the latter does.

Boomstick: Talk about the Bitch Witch.

Wiz: Yep.

Boomstick: Well, like her on and off ally, she is also the expert of the Bullet Arts with her own trusty four set of guns known as the "All 4 One", and like Bayonetta, she too has a number of weapons at the ready like the Angel Slayer, the Bloody Moon, the Inferno SLayer, and... God Damn it, how many weapons do Umbra witches even get in the first place.

Wiz: Like Bayonetta, she is also has a demoness by her side, in which in Jeanne's case, her demon is Madama Styx, a counterpart of Madama Butterfly. And of course, she has displayed a simple form of Telekinesis to reflect bullets back to the person that fired them at her. Like when she did that to Bayonetta.

Boomstick: But didn't Bayonetta save Jeanne's life at some point?

Wiz: That is true, Bayonetta did travel to Fimbulventr to save her soul from Inferno after a Demon summon goes wrong.

Boomstick: Well, hopefully, she won't be much of a teaser to Bayonetta after all that then.

Jeanne: I stake my honour as an Umbra!

Intermission[]

IntermissionDPvsJ

Wiz: All right, the Combatants are set, let's end the debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

Fight[]

(Cue Dark Pit’s theme from Kid Icarus: Uprising)

We open up in a Greek coliseum and coming to a landing in the arena is an angel boy in black angel clothing with matching wings with his personal weapon, which is a staff with a name that is after his own self, Dark Pit (both the angel and staff).

Dark Pit: So this is the spot for a fight, now who wants to take me on?

After Pit says that quote, he was about to get his wish granted, cause opening up from reality was a portal, and zooming out of a portal was a red motorcyclist, which scares Dark Pit out of his wits a bit while he was dodging it because it was coming his way, that ticked off Dark Pit a bit.

Dark Pit: Hey watch where you are going with that, well you, ass-hole!

The driver screeches the tires of the motor cycle to make it stop, jumps out of it, puts a beeper on the bike, and removes the helmet revealing the head of a female with long platinum blonde hair, it was the Umbra Witch, Jeanne. Jeanne was not at all very pleased with Dark Pit’s insult.

Jeanne: You naughty angel, insulting the heiress of an Umbra Witch like myself and get away with it?

Dark Pit: Umbra Witch?

Jeanne: Yes, but since you want a fight, I’ll forgive you by giving you a fight you will never forget.

Dark Pit: Okay then, bring it.

(Cue the Boos Fight 1 theme song from Kid Icarus: Uprising)

Both of the fighters get to their stances.

FIGHT!

Jeanne starts out with her All 4 One guns and fires at Dark Pit, but the Dark Angel uses the guardian orbitars to reflect the bullets heading back at Jeanne, but unfortunately for Dark Pit, she teleports out of the way and reappears next to Dark Pit. He was not expecting that to happen but he didn’t care, cause then he pulls out his Ogre Club and tries to pummel Jeanne with it, but Jeanne dodges it seven times.

Dark Pit: Don’t think this weapon can be used as just a club.

Jeanne was confused about what Dark Pit had said, until the Dark Angel swings the club unleashing a tornado that is coming her way, sucking her in, and Dark Pit flies in after her to deliver more damage with his first bow, which he turned into a set of twin blades to try and give her a few slashes with, until Bayonetta pulls out her Angel Slayer sword to block the cuts while they both land on the ground.

Jeanne: Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to play with sharp objects, because they can cut any one you know.

Dark Pit: No one teaches me about cutlery and gets away with it.

(Cue the Reset Bomb Forest theme from Kid Icarus Uprising)

The two combatants then engage in a sword dual parrying on each other to try and cut the other all while blocking the attack from the opposing foe. Jeanne tries to teleport and gives out a sneaky surprise attack from behind Dark Pit with a successful slash on one of the wings, causing a certain number of black feathers to be slashed of and the wing to bleed some blood for even just a little.

Dark Pit: Damn, lady, that was sneaky.

Jeanne: Now you should listen to your mother and heed her words more carefully now, shouldn’t you?

Dark Pit: Nope, nor will I ever.

Dark Pit unleashes his Silver Bow and tries to fire some arrows at Jeanne but Jeanne teleports again, and reappears on the other side.

Dark Pit: Dammit, stand still and take your shot like a woman that you are!

Dark Pit fires his arrow again, but much to the dark angel’s surprise, Jeanne stops the arrow in its tracks with her telekinesis, and hits the Dark angel right on the wing.

Dark Pit: Ow, that was even sneakier than what I had expected.

Dark Pit then sees Jeanne charging at him with the Angel Slayer at the ready; Thus, Dark Pit equips his Violet Palm and fires a ball of magical aura at Jeanne pushing her back some and fires again but aiming at the Angel Slayer to obliterate it into pieces.

Dark Pit: (smugingly) So it looks like you can’t handle this kind of pressure, can you?

Jeanne: (smiling back at him) Don’t get to overconfident in yourself, black-o.

Jeanne then pulls out her Bloody Moon; Dark Pit was shocked about this and tries to use the Violet Palm on the weapon as well, but Jeanne teleports away again, and reappears to next to the Dark Angel, cutting off the Violet Palm and leaving Dark pit a severe slit on the side of his wrist.

Dark Pit: No, not my Palm power!

Dark Pit then tries to unleash another weapon between his Ogre Club, Silver Bow, and First Bow, but then he notices Jeanne partially naked with her platinum blonde hair covering her modesty, as she is unleashing her Wicked Weaves, summoning parts of Madama Styx to punch and kick Dark Pit out of most of his weapons and being destroyed one at a time, but Dark Pit manages to escape the parts with his last weapon, the Dark Pit Staff, after damaging Madama Styx with plenty of shots, Jeanne then tries to revert back to normal and charges at Dark Pit, but the dark angel closes his eyes and fires an orange glowing shot at the Umbra Witch, and just then he hears silence, he opens his eyes and sees that she is gone.

Dark Pit: Wow, looks like this victory is mine today.

Jeanne: (as the portal opens and kicks the dark angel with both her heels and landing on her feet) Don’t feel too confident in yourself, boy.

Dark Pit was shocked to see that Jeanne teleported again. He aims his staff again and fires it, but Jeanne uses her telekinesis to turn the shot around and back at Dark Pit, instantly killing him.

Jeanne: (as she picks the lifeless dark angel up and places him on the back of her motorcycle as she puts on her helmet) Now what would sound good to eat… Oh, I know, Angel consommé with roast angel wings, all with a cup of tea stirred with angel fingers.

She opens the portal and disappears with her kill and her motorcycle.

K.O.!

Results[]

Boomstick: Wow, I was right about Umbra Witches eating angels, now Pit better watch his back.

Wiz: Both combatants seemed equal on experience, but Jeanne managed to outclass Dark Pit on arsenal and intelligence.

Boomstick: But wasn't that the same with Hades when Dark Pit faced him and defeated him?

Wiz: That is true, but he lacked a certain unpredictable feature that Jeanne has, especially with Madama Styx by her side.

Boomstick: Well, at least we now that Angel is now what's for dinner.

WinnerJeanne

Wiz: The Winner is Jeanne.

Trivia[]

  • This is Maxevil's seventy ninth Death Battle.
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