Daniel LaRusso vs Dan Hibiki

Description

The Karate Kid vs Street Fighter! Which of these two martial artists named Dan and trained under an elderly master will win? Miyagi-do Karate vs Saikyo-ryu! Which martial art is superior?

Interlude

Wiz: Martial Arts. The cornerstone of self defense.

Boomstick: And coolest way to beat the hell out of someone!

Wiz: Well, whatever floats your boat, I guess.

Boomstick: Daniel LaRusso, the original Karate Kid.

Wiz: And Dan Hibiki. The butt of all Street Fighter jokes.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: Aaand it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Daniel LaRusso

Wiz: Moving to a new place is a nerve-racking experience, as you leave behind everyone you know in that area, go to a new school, basically start all over again.

Boomstick: But at least most people moving don't have to deal with bullies attacking you for existing, buuuuut unfortunately for Daniel LaRusso, that's exactly what happened.

Wiz: Throughout the first weeks of Daniel living at Newark, a kid named Johnny Lawrence tormented him, they gave him a black eye, pushed him down a large hill while he was on his bike and absolutely beat the snot out of him.

Boomstick: Fortunately for Daniel, he befriended an elderly man named Mr. Miyagi, a comforting soul in the chaos that was Daniel's new life.

Wiz: Then one day at a Halloween party at his school, hanging out with his girlfriend Ali, he angered the resident bully named Johnny Lawrence (who previously beat him up and pushed him down the hill) by spraying him with water.

Boomstick: Which was a really bad move, as Johnny and his gang chased Daniel down and gave him a proper beatdown until he could barely stand up, I mean, Daniel, you kinda asked for it.

Wiz: But there was hope. Daniel was defended by a mysterious figure, who beat up the bullies and carried Daniel to safety. As it turns out, this mysterious figure was none other than Mr. Miyagi himself. As it turns out, Mr. Miyagi was actually a skilled martial artist.

Boomstick: After entering Daniel into a tournament to stop the torment for a month, he begun to train Daniel in the ways of the martial art he was taught, aiming to get Daniel to be able to defend himself, AWESOME!

Wiz: And for Johnny and the Cobra Kais to finally respect him.

Boomstick: Lame.

Wiz: So training begun, he was taught to have a good defense with a strong offense, with balance, with poise, with...

Boomstick: Waxing cars, painting houses and fences, and...sanding the...decks...I feel more than a little underwhelmed now.

Wiz: Don't be so sure. In fact, these mindless chores were actually disguised blocking techniques, and repeating these chores ingrained these blocks into Daniel's mind, so much that it had become mere muscle memory by the Karate tournament.

(Daniel blocks a bunch of punches from Mr. Miyagi)

Boomstick: Holy hell, he's alright.

Wiz: From then on, Mr. Miyagi trained Daniel in balance, discipline, focus...even teaching him a few moves on the way. The Crane Kick is a favourite of Daniel's, and when done right, is nearly unblockable. The Crane Kick is what won him the original karate tournament in the first movie.

Boomstick: The Drum technique was inspired by Japanese pellet drums, and is...just weird. Basically, Daniel twists his body from side-to-side while punching...and it gives him...more power? I dunno.

Wiz: Besides from giving a little more force behind a punch, Daniel is also able to dodge attacks while using the technique, simply twisting his body to dodge a kick or punch.

Boomstick: And somehow, in all 3 movies, he has been able to do one move that one him the fight. Wiz, you do realise that without the Drum technique from 2, Daniel would be dead?

Wiz: Well, maybe, but that's not all that is at his disposal. Kata is an ancient technique that seeks to focus the minds on scared and/or unfocused fighters. With it, Daniel was able to focus himself enough to throw a guy over his shoulder almost effortlessly. The Kata is based around a Bonsai tree and how it grows and expands throughout its life.

Boomstick: Oh my god, Miyagi is a hippie.

Wiz: What? No!

Boomstick: And if he really wants to throw someone in for a loop, he will use the honking fake-out technique. Daniel gets the opponent to think that he's about to kill them, then he goes in for the strike before honking them on the nose. Done properly, it can discombobulate someone and even make them faint. Jesus, that's stupid...Oh yeah, we should mention death battles aren't new to Daniel.

Wiz: But to actually compete in these fights, he needs to be pretty powerful. Daniel is strong enough to break a nose, punch a wooden board so hard he broke it in half. He's even able to shatter 6 slabs of ice, a feat which would require at max, 1.7 kilojoules of energy to break them.

Boomstick: He's even fast enough to dodge swinging axe blades, and catch a fly with nothing but chopsticks. Flies can fly at about 15 kilometers per hour at the max and see the world in slow motion.

Wiz: Daniel can even take attacks and even eventually defeat Chozen, who can easily kick through things like stone! He's been able to rescue a little girl from a storm and even take attacks from Johnny Lawrence and his gang.

Boomstick: But Daniel still has more to talk about. In Cobra Kai, a show that takes place about 30 years after the Karate Kid 3, where Daniel is not only stronger, but almost on par with Mr. Miyagi, who was said by both himself and Daniel, that he could've killed Mike Barnes, a peak human.

(Daniel: You coulda killed him, couldn't you?)

(Mr. Miyagi: Hai.)

(Daniel: Well, why didn't you, then?)

(record scratch)

Boomstick: Woah, woah! Daniel's got some issues to work on.

Wiz: Speaking of issues to work on, Daniel does have flaws of his own. Under all the breaking ice feats and tanking hits from Chozen feats, he's still just a human and can be put down with human things.

Boomstick: He can be panicky in the face of threats, is susceptible to some manipulation. He can lose focus if he gets scared, and loses focus easier without Mr. Miyagi around.

Wiz: He also struggles in the face of stronger opponents-

Boomstick: D-Doesn't everyone?

Wiz: -And other fighters that can fight dirty. His biggest weakness is an almost inability to face against aggressive or underhandedly, almost unable to beat them unless he has a secret move like the Kata or Drum technique.

Boomstick: But if he's focused and ready, Daniel will show you why he is the Karate Kid.

(Daniel LaRusso Crane Kicks Johnny Lawrence)

Dan Hibiki

Wiz: Strange as it may sound, Dan Hibiki was always meant to be a joke.

Boomstick (sarcastically): Nooo! Dan Hibiki, the guy with a pink gi, is a joke character? Wow!

Wiz: (groans) Despite being made in response to SNK's rip-offs of Ryu and Ken, Dan had...well, a less than stellar childhood. Despite having absolutely no fighting talent, he still trained under his father and master, Go Hibiki, a martial arts master.

Boomstick: But after a surprise visit from Sagat, a crime leader, Dan was left without a father...and Sagat without an eye. Jesus, it's no wonder Dan cries all the time, he saw his father get murdered in front of him!

Wiz: But instead of taking this as a warning, Dan vowed revenge by finding a martial arts studio hidden in Japan, and surprising everyone, Dan found it.

Boomstick: Conveniently, Dan's new master goes by the name of Gouken. Sound familiar? Yeah, it's 'cause he taught Ryu and Ken the most awesome moves ever like the Shoryuken and Hadouken! Damn, Dan must be good.

Wiz: And then Gouken expelled him because he sucked. Oh, sorry, because 'he would use those powers for revenge'. You're not fooling anyone, Gouken.

Boomstick: But using his few teachings, Dan developed his own martial art, affectionately named the Saikyo-ryu, the 'Strongest Style'. Hmmm, I'm getting a feeling of irony here.

Wiz: You should, it sucks! Dan's 'Strongest Style' is garbage! Even his student Sakura believes that the Saikyo-ryu fighting style is just awful! And sure, he can use ki attacks, but like Dan, they're pathetic!

Boomstick Well, that's...rude.

Wiz: Just look at it!

(We see footage of the Gadouken.)

Boomstick: Oh.

Wiz: The Gadouken only flies inches from his hand before dissipating and the pain from the attack is compared to a light slap to the area. The Shinku Gadouken could've made up for it, but nope, it travels just a tiny bit further than the original Gadouken, even if it hits 6 times!

Boomstick: The Dankukyaku, besides from being really self-serving, is an attack that throws Dan through the air towards an opponent while kicking twice. This is the second-hand Tatsuma-blah-blah.

Wiz: Tatsumaki Senpukyaku.

Boomstick: Shut up. The Saikyo Defense it a useful little move where Dan blocks an attack and thrusts himself forward, brunting most of the damage from the attack, but as it's one of Dan's moves, it doesn't do much damage.

Wiz: The Koryuken is a rip-off of the Shoryuken, with little distance in either direction. But Dan has a bunch of other...kind of pathetic moves and the Hissho Buraiken is a flurry of kicks and punches preceding a Dankukyaku. There's one attack, the Otoko Michi, a parody of the Raging Demon, where it deals heavy damage to both opponents, but hurts Dan more than the opponent, in some cases, it even lowers his HP to 1.

Boomstick: Speaking of the Raging Demon...Dan-Dan can actually do that.

Wiz: Oh, we're not joking. Once, Dan actually tapped into the Satsui No Hado and executed the Raging Demon...only to lose it by tripping over a school bag...yes. A school bag.

Boomstick: Jeeesus. Buuut, there's still one more power Dan has...his...well, his taunting.

(Dan: Woohoo! Don't underestimate me! I'm awesome!)

Wiz: You name a taunt and it's likely Dan has tried it before, he can taunt in the air, increasing his air time, as well as his Super Taunt, one that discombobulates and throws off every opponent with its sheer stupidity.

Boomstick: Watch and be thankful.

(Dan uses the Super Taunt)

Wiz: But despite his setbacks, Dan never gave up of his goal for revenge, constantly tracking down Sagat until finally, he was in a corner. Sagat offered to reunite father and son, while Dan threatened to make Sagat's other eye match his missing one.

Boomstick: And so began the battle of the ages, Dan, bent on retribution, Sagat, fuelled with bloodthirsty rage. Buuut unfortunately for Dan-Oh what? He WON?

Wiz: Yes, but only because Sagat threw the fight on purpose so Dan would stop following him.

Boomstick: (sighs) You know, underneath the layer of murders and assaults he's done, Sagat ain't too bad.

Wiz: Now confident he was the strongest fighter ever, Dan started his own dojo, aiming to train others in his martial art. Despite the fact that he kept forgetting to pay his phone bill and...he forgot the address to the dojo.

Boomstick: (groans extensively)

Wiz: Alright, alright. While it's fun to poke fun at Dan, we all have to admit, he's not the worst fighter and he's far from a pushover copared to us. He can take on multiple thugs at once, break roof tiles and throw grown men over his shoulder, albeit barely.

Boomstick: I mean, he can keep up with other Street Fighters, and once, when he was hit with Zangief's Final Atomic Buster, his head hit the concrete with enough force to break it, and was completely fine.

Wiz: He's even endured a simultaneous beating from Ryu and Ken and got back up ready for more.

Boomstick: Buuut despite all this, there's a reason he's the weakest Street Fighter, well, actually, multiple, oh-ho-ho, I was looking forward to this part!

Wiz: To be blunt, Dan Hibiki is kind of an overconfident idiot. he is his own worst enemy in every sense of the phrase. He constantly underestimates his opponents and overestimates himself, his constant taunting leaves him open for attacks...

Boomstick: ...He is kinda dumb. The whole reason he has a pink gi is because he accidently washed it with colour, he forgets to pay his phone bills, never learns his mistakes and even forgot to put his dojo's address in an ad!

Wiz: Dan only has 1 confirmed win to his name, and it was given to him out of pity. Clearly, Dan Hibiki really needs to evaluate his life choices.

Boomstick: But you know what's sad? Dan Hibiki could beat every single one of us in a fistfight.

(Dan: I hope you're ready for a beating!)

Intermission

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, lets end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A KARATE DEATH BATTLE!!!

Death Battle

Dan Hibiki gazes at a martial arts studio, completely mesmerized by it. He can hear grunting and yelling from inside.

"Wow, they must be strong...a worthy opponent for someone like me!" Dan exclaims happily, sprinting in. The person grunting from inside was none other than the Karate Kid himself, Daniel LaRusso, training. Dan watches happily as Daniel kicks the air and practises his karate. Daniel twists around and starts when he lays eyes on Dan.

"Oh hey, nice gi." Daniel says sheepishly. Dan waves happily.

"Training?" Dan inquires "I could teach you a few moves!"

"Uh...no, thanks." LaRusso responds, turning his back on Hibiki. The Saikyo street fighter runs over to the karate kid, but trips over his own feet and smacks right into LaRusso, knocking them both to the ground. Daniel lets out a grunt and holds the back of his head, slowly getting to his feet. Dan Hibiki groans on the ground.

"Come on! I'm the best fighter around! Let me teach you a few things!" Dan whines. LaRusso shakes his head and practises Kata, his back to Hibiki, who grows annoyed.

LaRusso kicks the air in front of him and Dan walks up behind him, commenting on his stance. Daniel feels his face growing hot. LaRusso exits his fighting stance and groans in frustration.

"You know what? I may as well go home. I'm done with my training anyway, and I doubt you'd teach me anything."

"What?! I'm Dan Hibiki! I defeated Sagat! I could mold you into the best fighter around!"

"You're Dan Hibiki? The guy dumb enough to forget an address in his ad?" Daniel taunts. Dan Hibiki angrily punches a wooden pillar. LaRusso turns to leave, but a kick to his back knocks him face-first into the floor. Hibiki gets into a mighty stance and points at Daniel's form on the floor.

"Come on! You think you're better than me? Lets fight!" Hibiki stated. Deep down, he was bluffing, and he knew that. LaRusso didn't. He got to his feet and raised his fists, staring daggers into Hibiki.

"Alright. Fine. But it's your fault if you get hurt." Hibiki grunts in shock. He had never expected LaRusso to actually want to fight!

Oh no. Now what've I done? Me and my mouth! Oh god, now I actually have to fight him! Dan Hibiki thought, a deep pit in his stomach. LaRusso wasn't feeling anything like that. He was just focused, ready, slightly annoyed. Hibiki's hands started to shake. Okay, now was the time to act.

Dan Hibiki pondered his first move, and so did Daniel LaRusso. They both rushed in to attack, yelling.

Dan Hibiki tried to get a quick jab to Daniel's nose, but using the Wax On/Wax Off technique, LaRusso redirects the punch to miss his head. Hibiki follows up the blocked punch by kneeing LaRusso in the chest and karate-chopping his back, flooring him instantly.

"Oh..." LaRusso groaned, getting back on his feet. Hibiki laughed giddily and made a gesture for LaRusso to come closer. LaRusso runs towards Hibiki, blocking a kick. LaRusso hooks Hibiki's right cheek, stunning the Saikyo street fighter. Larusso jabs Hibiki in the nose and roundhouses Dan's left hip.

Hibiki takes a step back, regaining his composure.

"Alright, you asked for it!" Yelled Hibiki, his right palm surrounded by energy. LaRusso, having never seen this before, moves backwards.

"What is that?!" LaRusso asks worriedly. Hibiki smiles.

"Gadouken!" Hibiki roars, the ball of energy blasting out of his palm. LaRusso lets out a yell and covers his head with his arms to try and block the attack. The Gadouken travels a few inches...before dissipating with a small 'poof'. LaRusso, confused, stares blankly at Hibiki, who also stares back.

"Ooookay?" LaRusso blurts out, before shaking his head and returning to Earth. He kicks the street fighter in the thigh and follows up with a palm-strike to the sternum, pushing Dan Hibiki backwards into a wooden pillar. LaRusso rushes towards Hibiki, hoping to follow up with a mean uppercut. He winds up...and swings his arm...

Only to have his wrist grabbed by Dan Hibiki, blocking the attack. Daniel lets out a noise of shock.

"Dankukyaku!" Dan yells, launching forward, kicking the karate kid twice in the chest, knocking him into a wooden pillar. Dan whoops in happiness and jumps back, taunting. Daniel LaRusso holds his forehead and groans groggily. Hibiki rushes towards LaRusso to roundhouse him in the face, but at the last second, Daniel dives to the right. Hibiki's foot smacks into the wooden pillar.

Dan lets out a yelp of pain and holds his aching foot. Daniel LaRusso capitalizes on this by pushing Hibiki backwards and knocking him to the ground with a well placed punch to the cheek.

"Ow...Urgh! Lucky shot!" Dan yells.

"Oh yeah? How about this shot?" Daniel asks, ready to attack once more.

W.I.P

Conclusion

Original Track