Death Battle Fanon Wiki
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Description[]

Karate Kid vs. Karate Kid. Today, two young karate experts will battle each other in a martial arts battle to the death. Will Dre's youth be able to outmatch Daniel's experience?

Interlude[]

Wiz: The Martial Arts, through thousands of years, many styles came and gone, becoming refined and perfected throughout time

Boomstick: But these two kids were either extremely lucky, or are just that damn good at what they do

Wiz: Danial LaRusso, the original Karate Kid

Boomstick: And Dre Parker, the modern interpretation of the Karate Kid

Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick and its up to us to analyze their weapons, armor, and skill to see who would win a death battle

Daniel LaRusso[]

Wiz: From Rocky Balboa to Kurt Warner, America has felt a pull to root for the underdog, real or fictional

Boomstick: But disregarding America's favorite sports, there was one martial arts underdog story that would become more famous than the rest of them

Wiz: Born in Newark, New Jersey in 1966, Daniel LaRusso was born to Italian-Americans David and Lucille LaRusso

Boomstick: Life was pretty normal for Daniel, but then we get to our generic tragic backstory

Wiz: Daniel's father developed stomach cancer when Danial was 6, and this was a fight he would end up losing, passing away 2 years later when Daniel was 8 years old

Boomstick: His mom quickly scrambled to provide for her and her son, working two jobs, and 9 years later, she found herself being shipped off to a new branch of the computer firm she worked at. From now on her and Daniel would be living in... Los Angeles.... in the late 80s... sorry Daniel, you're fucked

Wiz: After moving to Los Angeles, Daniel found himself in an unfamiliar place, with no friends to turn to in his time of need

Boomstick: Hell, by the time he found one, he pissed off the local karate jock Johnny Lawrence, getting his ass kicked by him and his gang every chance they could get

Wiz: Daniel finally had enough and tried to get revenge on Johnny during his school's Halloween party

Boomstick: It didn't go so well, chased to his apartment and beaten, he was saved by his apartment's maintenance man Mr. Miyagi, who fought Johnny and his gang and won in about ten seconds flat

Wiz: It was in the apartment building when Daniel inquired about learning karate

Boomstick: Miyagi answered with a simple "No", but did agree to bring Daniel to Johnny's Dojo to help "resolve" the problem

Wiz: Turns out that Johnny's master John Kreese was just as cold and ruthless, challenging Mr. Miyagi to have Daniel and Johnny fight then and there

Boomstick: But Mr. Miyagi knew Daniel would get his ass kicked and instead offered an alternative- have LaRusso fight in the upcoming tournament, or have both Miyagi and Daniel tracked down and beaten for not showing up

Wiz: John Kreese agreed and Miyagi decided to finally trained Daniel

Boomstick: Heheh... "training"

Mr. Miyagi: Wax on, wax on, circular motions

Boomstick: Free labor in disguise of training, I wish I could do that

Wiz: What could you possibly have to teach?

Boomstick: How to shotgun a beer, or how to build their own shotgun leg

Wiz: Moving on, these seemingly mundane tasks of cleaning Miyagi's cars, sanding his floor, and paining his fences and house were actually training Daniel's muscle memory

Boomstick: Its still free labor in disguise of training

Wiz: The motions used for the chores helped Daniel learn the basics of blocking incoming attacks, as beautifully demonstrated by Mr. Miyagi

Boomstick: And this is when Daniel's actual training began

Wiz: The martial art taught to Daniel is a Miyagi family secret, but definitely takes inspiration from Gōjū-ryū, an Okinawan based karate style who's hand motions and kata sets heavily resemble

Boomstick: The chores Daniel did helped train his Tensho kata, which helps block and deflect blows

Wiz: The other kata seen, Seiunchin--

Boomstick: Gesundheit

Wiz: --Seiunchin is a kata who's aim is to attack, conquer, and suppress. Techniques used by this kata are meant to unbalance and grapple, also implementing some close-quarter striking and takedown techniques

Boomstick: Then there is moves that don't seem to belong to any style at all... like this one

Daniel executes the Flying Crane Kick, knocking Johnny down

Boomstick: Wiz, mind telling me what the fuck that's from?

Wiz: Its quite simple Boomstick, its a variation of a flying kick, one designed by the Miyagi family themselves.

Boomstick: I'm not one to question the master, but I do know that stance is horrible form for karate

Wiz: Exactly the point Boomstick, the Crane Kick's initial stance does pose several obvious flaws. Standing tall on one foot and leaving his chest and head wipe open leaves him open for attack, an irresistible target for an aggressive opponent, only to lull them into a swift kick to the face when they get too close

Boomstick: Daniel uses the Crane Kick to finish off fights, and is actually pretty fucking hard move to pull off in real life

Wiz: Through the span of a year Daniel has proved that his skills are very tough to beat

Boomstick: He has fought and won against 4 opponents in a row, the last match being fought on a busted knee

Wiz: He was also able to break through 6 one-inch panels of ice with one sideways chop, something someone bigger and stronger than him couldn't do

Boomstick: Here's the big one though, he fought against a scorned ex-nephew intent on killing Daniel, and Daniel just beat the shit out of him

Wiz: All while taking a massive beating of his own during that fight

Boomstick: He's also successfully defended his karate championship title, against a karate prodigy that was looking to end Daniel's karate days

Wiz: With two championships and a victory in a dual to the death under his belt, it is no wonder why Daniel got his moniker of the Karate Kid

Boomstick: That being said, Daniel isn't perfect

Wiz: Right, while skilled in karate Daniel himself is not the most athletic of people

Boomstick: He also had a tendency to get frustrated and snap, though training with Mr. Miyagi has helped keep those tendencies down. Also, his style seems to be more in-tune with attacking more than defense

Wiz: But those who dare challenge Daniel LaRusso best take notes, as his prowess proves that he is no underdog

Daniel: Live or die man?!

Chozen: Die!

Daniel: Wrong!

He honks Chozen's nose and knocks him out

Dre Parker[]

Boomstick: There's an old saying that goes something like this- "Knock-offs are rarely better than the original work"

Wiz: That's not an old saying

Boomstick: Whatever, you still get what I mean

Wiz: Unfortunately

Boomstick: Anyways, the late 2000s and early 2010s were the age of remakes, and the Karate Kid is no exception

Wiz: Enter Dre Parker, a 12 year old kid from Detroit, Michigan

Boomstick: Dre's father died when he was 10 years old, and unfortunately would only have more sadness to deal with for the next couple of years, cause the Lions would also lose every game in 2008 and the Red Wings started their skid into irrelevance

Wiz: Well, at least he wouldn't have to deal with that sadness long

Boomstick: Well, duh, the Lions drafted Stafford the year after--

Wiz: Boom-- just-- no...

Boomstick: What?

Wiz: Anyways, Dre wouldn't worry about being sad for very long, 2 years later him and his mother would pack up and move--

Boomstick: Lemme guess, that shithole Los Angeles?

Wiz: Nope, China

Boomstick: Heh, I knew--- wait, what?! China?! Why China?! That's a way worse place to live than California

Wiz: Cause that's what the writers wanted for the remake

Boomstick: Well after moving and totally hating it, Dre met a girl, pissing off a karate student named Cheng, who then beat the shit out of him, a scene we are all familiar with

Wiz: Beaten by Cheng and his group every chance they got, Dre fought back after a trip to the Forbidden City

Boomstick: Stop me if you heard this before, he ended up getting cornered, got the shit beaten out of him, and was saved by his apartment's handy-man Mr. Han

Wiz: Turns out that the seemingly mild-mannered Mr. Han was actually a kung fu master, expertly fending off Cheng and his group

Boomstick: And after getting his broken butt healed by Mr. Han's fire cup therapy, Dre asked Mr. Han about teaching him kung fu

Wiz: And obviously Mr. Han said no, instead opting to accompany Dre to the dojo Cheng and his group train at

Boomstick: And to absolutely nobodies surprise, Mr. Li was a complete asswipe as much as Cheng and his friends were, and dismissed Mr. Han's want to make peace and instead wanted Dre and Cheng to fight in the studio

Wiz: Seeing no other choice, Mr. Han offered--

Boomstick: Uhhg... to have him fight in the tournament or have both of them beaten. C'mon Wiz, snap to it, its the same plot as the first Karate Kid movie. Lets get to the good shit already!

Wiz: Fine... after that, Mr. Han told Dre that he will be willing to train him in the ways of Kung Fu

Boomstick: Under normal circumstances of getting forced to fight, I'd be pissed, but the upside of training with Jackie Chan is makes it not seem so bad

Wiz: And so their training began, and in true Karate Kid fashion...

Mr. Han: Take off your jacket, hang it up, take it down, put it on, take it off, put it on the ground, pick it up

Boomstick: In Mr. Han's defense, the jacket method is loads better than performing manual labor

Wiz: As you might have guessed, this seemingly waste-of-time method trained Dre's muscle memory

Boomstick: Turns out that the method of jacket-on, jacket-off... heh... was actually very effective learn the hand motions needed to do basic blocks and blows

Wiz: It was at this point when Dre's real training began

Boomstick: Starting with a hike up a mountain to a monk temple, one of the few things done differently in this movie, where he drank "Magic Kung Fu Water" from a well... sounds like bullshit if you ask me

Wiz: Then it was back to Mr. Han's place, where the tough parts began

Boomstick: Along with what he learned from the jacket, Mr. Han was about to put Dre into a physical hell

Wiz: Mr. Hans basic training included what you would expect from martial arts, flexibility and agility training, move anticipation, strength training, the works. With Dre's already evident athletic ability, he was up to the task for these exercises

Boomstick: As far as martial arts is concerned, we all know it ain't karate he is taught

Wiz: Dre is taught in the ways of Wushu, the sport variation of the Chinese Martial Arts. In particular the barehanded sub-styles of Chángquán and Fanzi

Boomstick: Chángquán needs great flexibility and speed to pull off many of the moves, which fits Dre's fighting style to a T

Wiz: The styles of Huaquan are also evident in Dre's takedown moves and close-quarter punches, aiming on quick and aggressive attacks when needed to fight a tougher opponenet

Boomstick: But his most well known move is from...

Dre brings up his leg and moves his hands into a snake stance

Boomstick: Wiz... help... he's staring into my soul

Wiz: What Dre is doing is something he picked up at the Taoist temple, calming his mind and body, he attempts to lure opponents into a kind of trance, throwing them off guard and lull them closer so he can deliver a match-ending blow

Boomstick: and it shockingly worked, knocking out that punkass Cheng and winning the tournament. How shocking

Wiz: It is easy to see that what Dre accomplished in only a few months, and its all the more impressive when given the circumstances

Boomstick: He's tough enough to get through 5 one-on-one matches without breaking a sweat, the last one being fought when the guy before Cheng fucked up his knee, and then Cheng himself breaking his leg

Wiz: He is also a very athletic kid, able to run across multiple city blocks without stopping, and pulling off moves that are incredibly difficult to do, once again also being able to do on that busted leg

Boomstick: That being said though, he isn't the toughest when it comes to taking a direct beating. While him being small makes him quick and more acrobatic, he can't take much of a hit, getting almost knocked out cold just by a few gut punches

Wiz: Added to that, Dre is more of a reactionary fighter, never taking the opportunity to make the first move even when it could benefit him

Boomstick: Even with that, Dre Parker is far from a pushover, and those who fight him better hope he is off his game. Also, thank God there won't be another Karate Kid remake anytime soon

Wiz: There's a new one coming out in 2024

Boomstick: ...shit

Mr. Han: You don't need to fight anymore. You have proven everything you need to prove.

Dre: What, that I can get beat up easy and then quit? That's not balance, that's not real kung fu. You said that when life knocks you down, you could choose whether or not to get back up. Well, I'm trying to get back up

Pre-Death Battle[]

Wiz: Alright the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!

Death Battle[]

Location: Unnamed Dojo, Finals for the National Youth Martial Arts Tournament

Announcer: It is now time for the final matchup! Will the combatants please step onto the stage?

Danial LaRusso stands by Mr. Miyagi on one side, while Dre Parker stands with Mr. Han on the other

Mr. Han: You fought hard to get here Xiao Dre. Now, remember, Daniel is more experienced than anyone else you've faced before. But if you are smart and quick, you can beat him. Now, be brave, be strong.

Dre Parker: Got it Mr. Han (He steps up onto the matted stage)

Mr. Miyagi: You've done well Daniel-San, now this is you're ultimate test. Dre is more on the athletic side, but you have faced such opponents before, but be prepared for any tricks he may pull from his sleeve. Now go, you can do it.

Daniel: Yes sir (Daniel tightens his headband and walks onto the stage)

Mr. Han and Mr. Miyagi step back, awaiting their students to start the match

Announcer: The wait is officially over! Now lets see who will be left standing in the biggest fight of the night!

A referee walks onto the stage and Dre and Daniel walk up to the middle of it

Referee: Alright, I want a clean fight from both of you, first to 3 points wins!

Dre and Daniel nod at the ref and face each other, brings their hands together and bow to each other

Announcer: LET'S GO!

The two boys take their fighting stances

Referee: (he swings his arm down)

FIGHT!!!

Dre and Daniel start to circle each other around the stage, neither daring to attack

Daniel: Make your move man!

Dre: You first

Dre and Daniel circle each other some more. After a bit, Daniel feigns a punch, Dre flinching a bit. Daniel takes the moment and tries to deliver a punch to Dre's stomach

Dre: Whoa! (He effortlessly blocks the blow)

Dre attempts to deliver a blow, but it likewise blocked by Daniel

The blocking and counterattacks continue on, until Dre blocks a blow and hits Daniel in the chest, making him stumble backwards

Daniel stumbles back and sees Dre lunge at him, preparing to deliver a flying punch

Daniel: (he ducks under the punch)

Dre lands on the ground and Daniel takes the opportunity to grab Dre, putting him into a body lock and delivering a blow to his chest

Referee: POINT! LaRusso!

The audience cheers and LaRusso gets up, Dre getting to his feet, the two of them returning to their sides of the stage

Referee: (He readies his flags again, Dre and Daniel once again taking their fighting stances)

Referee: GO! (he waves the flags down)

This time around, Dre makes the first move, attempting to land some blows on Daniel, who effortlessly blocks his strikes

Daniel fights back, attempting to land some kicks, Dre blocking them and counters with a kick of his own to Daniel's side

Daniel: Ahg! (He stumbles a bit)

Dre sweeps Daniel's legs and knocks him down, getting on top of his and delivering a punch to Daniel's face

Referee: POINT! Parker!

A few minutes pass by, and the two martial artists are tied 2-2

Announcer: THE SCORE IS ALL TIED UP! WHO WILL COME OUT ON TOP?!

Both Dre and Daniel are sweaty and bruised messes, breathing heavily as they take their stances

Referee: (he swings his flags down, starting the final round)

Dre and Daniel circle each other gain, neither daring to make the first move

Dre eyes Daniel and feigns a kick, but Daniel doesn't flinch

Daniel inches closer to Dre and grabs him, who breaks Daniel's grip and counters, punching Daniel in the stomach, knocking him backwards

Dre follows up with a stomp to Dre's foot, then kicks him in the side, knocking him down, but Daniel quickly gets back up

Daniel closes the distance again, launching a kick at who slides under the kick, surprising Daniel, who quickly turns around

Dre quickly gets back on his feet and takes a defensive stance

Daniel throws a punch, Dre countering and flipping Daniel over his shoulder, backing up after Daniel lands

Daniel gets up and rushes Dre again, landing some blows to Dre's chest, Dre shoving Daniel away and knocking him down

Daniel: (he stumbles to the ground and looks at Mr. Miyagi)

Mr. Miyagi: (he nods at Daniel)

Daniel nods back and gets up, straightening his gi, and eyeing Dre

Dre: What is he...?

Daniel raises his left leg off the ground, and holds his arms out

Daniel eyes him, and Dre prepares to rush Daniel, attempting to weigh what Daniel is doing

Dre: (He closes on Daniel, only to stop as his approaches)

Daniel: (thinking) Why is he stopping?

Dre: (thinking) He wants me to attack... two can play that game

Dre starts to bring his own leg up

Daniel: What...?

Dre positions his arms in a cobra stance, staring at Daniel

Daniel looks at Dre, who tilts his head to one side

Daniel: Hmm? (he slowly lowers his hands and leg and arms, confusingly tilting his head the same direction as Dre)

Dre holds his stance and Daniel snapping out of it, retaking his normal stance

Crowd: FINISH HIM!!!

Daniel growls and runs at Dre, going to deliver a sweep kick to Dre's leg

Dre: Whoa! (He turns his body and jumps over Daniel's sweep, performing a backflip, nailing Daniel in the face)

Daniel flops to the ground, holding his face as Dre lands on his feet

Referee: POINT! Parker!

The crowd erupts in cheers

Announcer: I DON'T BELIEVE IT! DRE PARKER HAS DEFEATED THE CHAMPION DANIEL LaRUSSO!

Daniel: Ahhg.... He sits up, shakes his head, and looks up, seeing Dre

Dre: (He holds a hand out to Daniel, offering help up)

Daniel: (He grab's Dre's hand, who helps up Daniel)

The two young martial arts masters shake hands, the crowd cheering on

KO!!!

Dre and Daniel walk off the stage, their masters smiling at their student, walking out of the arena

Results[]

Boomstick: No, no, no fucking way! How the fuck did the knockoff win?!

Wiz: This fight was a fairly close match-up, both martial arts masters excelling in different ways

Boomstick: Ahhg,.. I hate to admit it, but Dre's training was far superior to Daniel's. While Daniel's was definitely more based on learning technique and had a year and half worth of experience fighting, Dre's physical training far outclassed anything Daniel was taught by Miyagi.

Wiz: The two martial arts are also extremely similar when it comes to techniques used. But Wushu by default is more fitted for a flowing and circular defense, which easily counters the more aggressive and linear karate styles Daniel was taught.

Boomstick: As far as special moves were concerned, Dre's Cobra Stance was better to use as a round ending move than the Crane Kick, the Crane Kick can be countered rather easy while Dre's ability to lull his opponents and make them drop their guard and strike is far better.

Wiz: Dre's athleticism also gave him a leg up over Daniel, able to fight longer and just as hard over the course of a long match.

Boomstick: In the end, Daniel's chances of winning were crane kicked to the curb

Wiz: The winner is Dre Parker

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