Dan Hibiki vs Pyrrha is a collab battle between Shrek-it Ralph and Pac
Description[]
Soulcalibur vs. Street Fighter! Which fighting game weakling will fall first?
Beginning[]
Wiz: The world of fiction has its share of strong characters capable of amazing feats.
Boomstick: But these two are just pathetic!
Wiz: Dan Hibiki, the Saikyo Street Fighter
Boomstick: And Pyrrha, the girl who fights Destiny. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and strength and find out who would win a Death Battle?
Dan Hibiki[]
Wiz: Son to Go Hibiki, who was an actually good martial artist, life for Dan was a cakewalk in his age.
Boomstick: Bullshit! Dan's life is never a cakewalk! He sucks!
Wiz: Anyway, one of Bison's deadliest henchmen Sagat challenged Go to a fight. And we all know what happened.
Boomstick: Go was like "I got your eye!" and Sagat was like "I got your life!"
Wiz: After Dan's loss, Hibiki went to Japan and somehow found Gouken's dojo, who is the same master who trained Ryu and Ken.
Boomstick: Dan learned a bit from Gouken before being expelled and getting his ass kicked from Ryu and Ken. But somehow, he survived!
Wiz: Speaking of surviving, Dan has superhuman durability worthy of Batman. He can take hits from people like Balrog, who killed an elephant with one punch, Zangief, who can overpower Ryu so badly that Ryu had to be Evil Ryu to stand a chance.
Boomstick: Dan's moves are the Gadoken, a shitty fireball, the Koryuken, an uppercut and the Dankukyaku, a Tatsumaki wannabe!
Wiz: Saikyo Defense lowers Dan's damage so he doesn't take as much as you'd expect.
Boomstick: That must explain how he can take elephant killing punches!
Wiz: He also has the Hissho Buraiken, which is a flurry of punches and kicks followed by a hard Koryuken.
Boomstick: The Shinku Gadoken is basically a more powerful version of a Gadoken, Koryu Rekka is three fast Koryukens, and the Otoko Michi, which blows up both Hibiki and his opponent.
Wiz: Though you may not have expected a character like Dan to be able to do this, but Dan can actually access the Satsui No Hadou.
Boomstick: What is the Satsui No Hadou you ask? Well, it's this evil thing that Akuma and Ryu get when their pissed and they can obliterate your soul with a cool teleporting move.
Wiz: Called the Raging Demon.
Boomstick: And surprise! Dan's got a ton of feats, so we are going to put them in list form to show you:
- A gigantic red meteor crushed Dan and he was fine
- He took a beating from Kazuya, came out fine
- Took a beating from Ryu and Ken, came out fine
- Took a beating from Balrog, came out fine
- Destroyed a sandbag with one punch
- One time, he defeated Chun-Li
- Trained Sakura and Blanka, taught them all of their moves
- Took a piledriver from Zangief, came out fine
- Barely made Seth's SIN tournament
- Took down a group of ninjas by himself
Wiz: But for what Dan does right, he suffers from plenty of flaws. First of all, he taunts. A LOT.
Boomstick: He taunts so much that he created the most useless move in fighting game history: The Legendary Taunt, where Dan rapidly taunts 6 times followed by a jump in the air and a smile. This leaves him wide open!
Wiz: He is also weak compared to all of the Street Fighters, but compared to people like us, he'd be in Bruce Lee status.
Boomstick: Never underestimate Dan. EVER!
Dan: You can't keep a real man down! A real man fights back! That was my old man's 115th rule of familyness! This is for you Dad, this meathead is going down!
Pyrrha[]
Wiz: Sophitia Alexandra. One of the toughest and smartest tacticians in the SoulCalibur universe. But heredity does not necessarily make one a great warrior right out of the womb.
Boomstick: Yeah, all you need to do to see that is take one look at her daughter Pyrrha, because this chick is a total wimp.
Wiz: Young Pyrrha was raised by Sophitia and her husband Rothion. Like Cassandra, Sophitia raised Pyrrha to become a great fighter.
Boomstick: Then one day Rothion goes and buys some weird artifact, and when he comes home the children fight each other to get their hands on it. Probably not what Sophitia had in mind.
Wiz: This artifact ended up being a shard of Soul Edge, which Tira was so attracted to that she kidnapped Pyrrha to use as ransom. Tira claimed that Pyrrha was unable to survive without the presence of Soul Edge. Sophitia then made the tough decision of sacrificing her own life and dedicating herself to the evil blade.
Boomstick: So Pyrrha loses a parent. The start to every great hero story, right? Haha, wrong!
Wiz: Pyrrha went from foster home to foster home for years never knowing her true family. Oddly enough, everyone she ever knew wound up dead, under mysterious circumstances.
Boomstick: Then Pyrrha's fiancee is taken out and she ends up with the blame, getting her thrown in jail.
Wiz: As it turns out, when Pyrrha was born, Sophitia placed a piece of Soul Edge inside of her daughter, in order to save her from the powerful dark aura she was born with. But when Pyrrha expresses destructive emotions, she can become corrupted and quick to kill. This shard is likely why someone or something has seemed out Pyrrha and killed her loved ones.
Boomstick: So she can also turn into a badass?
Wiz: That's right.
Boomstick: Well, I might actually become invested in this fight after all.
Wiz: But through normal combat, Pyrrha is weak and and seemingly reluctant to fight. She even despises winning after seeing the carnage surrounding her.
Pyrrha: This... can't be my fault!
Boomstick: Oh come on! You just killed somebody! Fucking enjoy it! Relish it! Bathe in the blood of your pitiful enemies!
Wiz: What are we gonna do with you?
Boomstick: Give me a raise? This is DEATH Battle after all.
Wiz: Whatever. Pyrrha taught herself to avoid combat, most likely to protect herself from activating Soul Edge's power. This implies that her participation in combat is forced. By who, we can't be sure.
Boomstick: All we know is that her fighting style may be more absurd than the Saikyo Arts. Her stance, strikes and throws are totally clumsy. Just... look at this shit. It's a disgrace to the art of combat.
Wiz: What good can we say about her? How about the fact that she inherited Sophitia's weapon?
Boomstick: Yeah, the Omega Sword and Elk Shield are pretty great. Created by Hephaestus, the Greek God of forge, the sword has divine properties and is made from a sacred ore. The Elk Shield replaced the Owl Shield and was also created by this God of badass weaponry.
Wiz: Tira tracked down Pyrrha in prison and gave her these weapons.
Boomstick: That's not suspicious at all!
Wiz: But even with these weapons, Pyrrha is a klutz. Even during her Critical Finish, the deadliest of all her moves, she cries out begging for mercy.
Pyrrha: I can't!.. Please stop!
Boomstick: It's a shame that moves with badass names, like the Seraphim Meteor, the Jet Stream Rush, the Ascension and the Plasma Blade have to be wasted on someone so pathetic.
Wiz: But there's no denying she can hold her own in combat. With her swift sword strikes, counters and backflips, Pyrrha may be the most unbalanced character in terms of personality in video game history.
Pyrrha: I don't want to kill! Please, no!
Intermission[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!!!
Death Battle[]
PacmanIsGr8DontH8M8[]
(Dan Hibiki is training in his Saikyo studio when a young girl with a shield and sword enters.)
Pyrrha: H... hello.
Dan: Hi-ya! What can I help you with?
Pyrrha: I... I need help. I'm being forced to...
Tira (subconsciously): Shut up!
Pyrrha: Aaa! I mean, I'm participating in a fighting tournament and I need help defending myself.
Dan: Well, all right! The Saikyo Arts are the perfect way to defend oneself! And kick the ass of the man who killed your father!
Pyrrha: That sounds terrible!
Dan: You'll do fine. First thing you need to do is put your shield and sword away.
Pyrrha: W... what?
Dan: The Saikyo Arts utilizes ki, punches and kicks to beat up your opponent. No swords allowed, ma'am.
Pyrrha: But m... my mother gave me these. I always use them to fight.
Dan: Sorry, but if you want to defend yourself, you gotta put the weapons down.
Pyrrha: Who says your way is best anyway?! I've won a fighting tournament with my Omega Sword! What have you done?!
Dan: You don't insult the Saikyo Arts! If you think your weapons are so great, then show me!
Pyrrha: F... fine! I will!
FIGHT!
(Dan runs up to Pyrrha, jumping while taunting.)
Dan: Dankukyaku!
(Dan kicks Pyrrha's shield, hurting his foot. He turns around to nurse his injury while Pyrrha approaches.)
Pyrrha: I don't want to do this!
(Pyrrha slashes at Dan with a downward thrust.)
Dan: Not so fast!
(Dan rolls away.)
Dan: Behold!
(Dan executes the Legendary Taunt.)
Pyrrha: What's he doing?!
(Pyrrha hides be find her shield.)
Dan: Gadoken!
(A Gadoken hits Pyrrha's shield. Though weak, Pyrrha cowers in fear with the hit.)
Dan: Gadoken! Gadoken! Gadoken!
(Dan fires waves of Gadoken that instill fear in Pyrrha.)
Pyrrha: Stop it, you meanie!
Dan: You can't stop Saikyo! Shisso Buraiken!
(Dan then pulls off his Ultra Combo with a well-timed punch to the face. He then executes several aggressive punches to the abdomen and a powerful uppercut. He then gives a thumbs up taunt as Pyrrha falls to the ground.)
Pyrrha: You haven't won yet! I must win for Tira... I mean... my mother!
(Pyrrha charges Dan and hits him with her shield. She then executes a triple slash combo, but on the second hit...)
Dan: Koryuken!
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
Dan: Wrong game!
Sorry.
(Dan has broken the combo with a well-timed Koryuken.)
Dan: You're done for! Saikyo can't be beaten!
Pyrrha: No... b-but you can be!
(Pyrrha charges up a sword slash.)
Pyrrha: Please... go away.
(Pyrrha uses the Unveiled Persona to cut through Dan's abdomen. Surprisingly, however, Dan gets back up.)
Pyrrha: I'm sorry!
Dan: *breathing heavily* I can't... lose to... A girl!
(A purple aura surrounds Dan.)
Dan: For my father!
(The Satsui no Hado activates.)
Dan: DIE!
(Dan charges at Pyrrha who blocks with her shield. Suddenly, the shield flies out the window as Dan connects.)
Dan: Ugh... Hey, that weapon is pretty cool after all!
Pyrrha: My shield! That was my mother's shield! And now it's gone forever!
Dan: Hey, don't worry about it!
Pyrrha: My... MOTHERRRRRR!!!
(A gold light glows inside of Pyrrha. The shard of Soul Edge activates. Pyrrha's sword is engulfed in flames.)
Pyrrha: MY MOTHER!!!
(Pyrrha slashes at Dan several times then kicks him in the balls in typical SoulCalibur fashion. Yes, this is a canonical Pyrrha attack.)
Dan: OWWW!!!
(Pyrrha executes the Trinity Strike. Two slashes cut Dan's arms off, then the third cuts Dan into two slices at the waist. Pyrrha then slices his neck, leaving his head on his standing body and does a kick to the torso, out from the head and abdomen. Still in a rage, Pyrrha slices Dan's head in half, also cutting his waist in two. His entire body in pieces, Pyrrha, does a backflip that sends the halves flying near his arms. Dan is nothing but a pool of blood and disembodied parts.)
Pyrrha: My MOTHEEEEeeerrrr...
(Pyrrha recovers from her Soul Edge rage. The first thing she sees is what is left of Dan Hibiki.)
Pyrrha: This... can't be my fault!
YES IT CAN!
Pyrrha: No!!!
K.O.!
(Pyrrha cries while looking out the shattered window. Dan is still a pile of parts.)
Shrek-It Ralph[]
Blanka: Are you seriously making another commercial?
Dan: Don't doubt greatness, Jimmy! This time I added my address and everything and I'm pretty sure people will come!
Blanka: Whatever you say.
5 hours later
Blanka: Hey Dan, how's it going?
Dan: Pretty good. At least 6 people showed up today to learn my Saikyo style.
Suddenly, a girl with a sword and a shield enters the dojo.
Blanka: Hey Dan, you've got another customer.
Dan: Oh boy! How can I help you miss?
Blanka: But Dan, she's a little kid. She's probably weaker than you.
Pyrrha is insulted by this comment and slashes Blanka, knocking him back.
Dan: Hey, that's not nice! Get out of my dojo now!
Pyrrha: Not until you make the green guy apologize.
Blanka: Never!
Dan: He said no, so buzz off!
Pyrrha: Then I'll have to kill you as well!
Dan: What?
FIGHT!
Blanka: Go Dan, kick her ass!
Dan: Blanka, don't make me lose concentration, Jimmy!
Dan shoots a Gadoken, but Pyrrha cowers behind her shield.
Dan: Nice shield.
Dan kicks it, but hurts his leg doing so. Dan starts crying as Pyrrha stays away in fear.
Pyrrha: Don't hurt me, meanie!
Dan: Eat this!
Dan shoots a Shinku Gadoken, hurling Pyrrha back. Pyrrha slashes her sword, but Dan rolls under her and Koryukens her in the air and throws her with ease outside. Pyrrha shields a Gadoken from Dan, and rams into him with his shield, knocking him into the dojo.
Dan: I'm not done with you yet!
Dan does a jumping taunt over Pyrrha's head and kicks her in the face. Pyrrha does a backflip as a Metal Gear Solid question mark appears over Dan's head.
Dan: Whoa, you can do backflips?
Dan then charges up a powerful Gadoken, which is blocked by the shield. Dan then runs up to her when she's off guard and performs the Hissho Buraiken. Plenty of odd angles are shown as Dan hits Pyrrha in different areas and knocks her in the air with a Koryuken.
Dan then gives a thumbs up to the camera as Pyrrha spits out a tooth.
Pyrrha: You're too strong! Don't hurt me!
Pyrrha then slashes Dan in the foot, causing him to trip. She then lifts him in the air with her shield and does the Triple Slash Combo, hurling Dan into a tree.
Dan then dodges a slash from Pyrrha, which got her sword stuck.
Pyrrha: Oh no! Now I'm wide open! What do I do!
Dan: Feel the glory of Saikyo!
Dan performs his Legendary Taunt, where he rapidly taunts around the are. As the taunt comes to an end, Dan grabs Pyrrha and throws her into a tree.
Dan: Any last words, little girl?
Pyrrha: I..must..win..for my MOTHER!
Suddenly, the shard of Soul Edge activates inside her body. She then screams and runs at Dan. Dan screams as Pyrrha stabs him three times and kicks him in the balls.
Dan: OWW!
Dan then jumped over her and accessed the Satsui No Hadou. Evil Dan and Soul Edge Pyrrha charged at each other and hit each other with their best move.
The screen goes black.
And when it's normal, one is standing perfectly fine while the other one is lying dead. The shadow starts crying, but wait, Dan and Pyrrha are both cry babies, so who won?
???: This can't be my fault!
KO!
Conclusion[]
PacmanIsGr8DontH8M8[]
Boomstick: WHAT THE HELL?! That was a lot even for me!
Wiz: Dan may have held the experience advantage, but Pyrrha had better training, weaponry, skill in combat and she's not a TOTAL pushover.
Boomstick: Yeah, especially considering the piece of Soul Edge embedded inside of her. Once it activates, Pyrrha is unstoppable and vicious. While Sophitia did die to protect herself from its power, it can still flare up in extreme instances. And being Pyrrha, extreme instances can be the littlest things... like Dan Hibiki.
Wiz: This begs the question though: does Dan have the means to put ANY opponent down?
Boomstick: The answer? Of course not! The only exception is the Satsui no Hado, which has literally never worked for him. And Pyrrha's shield, created by the gods themselves, is a perfectly capable defense for any blow she could suffer. Looks like Pyrrha had the chops to win, with her razor sharp wit and a heart of gold.
Wiz: The winner is Pyrrha Alexandra.
Shrek-It Ralph[]
Boomstick: So who won?
Wiz: Well, this was actually VERY close.
Boomstick: Ah, so the little girl won? First he lost to Ash, now he lost to Pyrrha.
Wiz: You see, Dan did have more experience and better durability, but the only way he could kill her is with the Satsui No Hadou, which he has little experience using since he only used it once in his whole life so far.
Boomstick: Also, Pyrrha may be weak compared to other Soul Calibur fighters, but she's kind of like Hercule, she'd kick Dan's ass and an average athletic man's ass anyday.
Wiz: At best, Dan is peak human, while Pyrrha is superhuman thanks to her reflexes, her god like shield and sword, and her Shard of the Soul Edge.
Boomstick: You could say Pyrrha had the Soul Edge in this battle!
Wiz: The winner is Pyrrha
