Dan Hibiki vs. Speedwagon is a What-If? Episode of Death Battle.
Description[]
Street Fighter vs. Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, The Needwagon for Speedwagon takes on the Wannabee Martial Artist, Who'll Try to Get through this Without making It Embarrassing... I hate My Job.
Interlude[]
We've all got that Buttmonkey of That Series.. Cough Cough...
But, You have these Two Who try So Hard to Be Good For the Camera's.. It's Almost Sad...
Dan Hibiki, The Street Fighter Buttmo- I mean Greatest Martial Artist The World has Ever Known-
-And Robert Edward O. Speedwagon, The Ally In Search of Phantom Blood-
-He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick..
-And It's Our Job To Analyze their Weapons, Armor and Skills to Find out who Would win...
Speedwagon & Dan Hibiki: A Death Battle!
..Wait Where did yo-?
Dan Hibiki[]
There are The Greatest of Combatants and Fighters in the Street Fighter Universe, Ryu, The Wondering Warrior without a Home, Akuma, the Vicious Raging Demon and Chun-Li, The Leg-Kicking Warrior.
Then We Have the.. Not So Great And When we Mean "Not So Great" We Mean the One's who Don't Even Try, Like... Dan Hibiki, My God Look at that Hair..
Dan Hibiki's Story Is.. It's... It's Pathetic, But His Father's Not So Much, He Was a Martial Art's Master who Fought Sagat and Knocked his Eye Out, Then Sagat murdered him Brutally In front of Dan.. This Is what Happens when you Take on a 7-Foot Goliath and Knock his Eye out.. Asks for Basic-
Supply and Demand.. Never Heard that One Before.
Enraged on Vengeance at this Dan Trained Hard (Possibly) Under the Wing of Gouken and then was Ultimately Kicked out due to His Revenge, Well that Went well for Him.
Then He Was All Like "Hey, If I can't Learn Someone's Fighting Style, Maybe I'll make My Own and Open up my Own Dojo" So.. He Did that and Made the Most Dangerous (..Not Really...) Fighting Style ever Known the Legendary Saikyō-ryū Fighting Style.
This Fighting Style Allows Dan to Tap Into Ki-Based moves.. Which... Are Just sad to be Called "Moves", More Like Cheap Knock-Off Moves of Other Fighting Styles.. Well He does have Ones like the Koryuken and the Dankukyaku and his Most Iconic Move: The Gadoken, Which he Focuses his Ki into-
The Most Shortest, and Disappointing Attacks.
He Also, Can Use Taunting to his Advantage like For Extra-Air Time, Dodging attacks or..
Dan Hibiki: Did Someone Ask For my Autograph?
..No...
Dan Hibiki: Come on I'll promise I won't take too Long!
Both: No!!
Dan Hibiki: ..Please...? -Puppy Dog Eyes-
If He'll leave us Alone After this I guess.
..Fine, Don't promise I won't shoot Him.
Dan Hibiki: Ya- Wait, Wha-?
Dan Also Has His Specials Which are The Haoh-Gadoken and Hissho Buraiken which Basically Is Punch And Kick your Opponents until they Get a Nose-Bleed.
And He's Also Good At Running away If the Fight He's In is a Bit to hot to Boil.
And Dan Without His Big Ego can Tap Into The Raging Demon, Surprisingly and Can Perform the Wrath of the Raging Demon... If only He Didn't trip over A Simple Schoolbag.. Yes That Happened...
Dan Hibiki: HEY THAT NEVER HAPPENED!
Okay, Okay Well I guess We Can't Give Dan Too Much Shit, He's Taken on Multiple Thugs, Survived being Pummled or Knocked the Shit out of him, Seems to go into Hospitalization only to get back Up more Determined (And More Narrow-Minded) Than Ever... and Woah-Wo HE EVEN FOUGHT SAGAT!
But, All that Leads to Dan's Biggest Downfall, You See Dan Is a Moron Expanding this, He mixed his Gi with Colors and Not whites (Yes He Mixed up Colors), Thinks He's Unstoppable, Forgot to pay his Phone bill for his Dojo and Despite His Win against Sagat, He Only won because Sagat threw the Match Entirely.
Even So, If Dan Did Open Up a Martial Arts Dojo to teach others His 'Impressive' Art to Just Teach People nothing or Even Forgot to Point out his Address, Dan Is A Pretty Sophisticated Fighter.. If He Doesn't Always Screw Up
Dan Hibiki: Aw.. Hey I didn't even Do Anything In this.
-Boomstick Cocks Shotgun-
Dan Hibiki: ..Well Got to... Zip! -Rolls Away and a Tripping Noise is Heard before Rolling Again-
Speedwagon[]
We've Talked about Speedwagon Before, But Here's Something's you didn't know!
Robert Edward O. Speedwagon was a Poor Lad Raised in the 19th Century on A Vile Place Called Ogre Street, A Area where Only Sin and Plague Roamed, Where no Normal Human would Even Survive.
Talk about a Rough Birthday.. Anyways In the Guy's 20's he was From a Small Kid, to a Ass-Kicking Street Thug in a Couple of Years.
And Then Speedwagon Met Up with the Guy who Changed his Life Forever, The Courageous-
Kenshiro?!
No, Johnathan Joestar and Was Joined by Will A. Zeppeli to Kill the Nefarious Certain Someone, So Speedwagon Helps Out in Killing Dio, Opening Up his own Oil Company and Being a Grandfather of Sorts.
Okay, Now that's out of the Way Speed-
Speedwagon: -Wagon!
Not you again.. I thought We Weren't going to have another Guest Until-
Speedwagon: Oh, Please It Clearly Says So on the Script -Hands Script-
Alright Fine...
Speedwagon: Hooest of Rays!
Speedwagon Is Equipped with His Trusty Hat which Has Blades under the Top and Can Spin Around Like A Helicopter And Has Great Experience with It, Being able to Catch It and Flip It back on his Head With Ease.
He's Also Got-
Speedwagon: My Trusty Sledge-Hammer which I can Spin around And Knock away Dio's Zombie Armada, Which Packs a Number Believe Me It's Heavy!
Also, Somehow Speedwagon Can Generate a Tiny Bit Of Hamon or Sendo for Only a Sort of Healing Way, This Was Helpful enough to Unfreeze DIO's Vapours to Help old Zeppeli, Too Bad He Died though.
Boomstick Show Some Compassion!
Speedwagon: Yeah Exploding Fire-Arm!
Stuck Up..
Speedwagon Though a Pacifist Is A Redeemable Fighter, He's Killed Dio's Zombies, Survived Being Punched by Johnathan Joestar, Had His Rib jab into his Lung and Survived, Aided the Joestar Clan Even After his Death and Survived the Joestar Manor Exploding.
But, He Has Some Weaknesses Too, He's Had Difficulty Killing Dio's Zombies, Seems to Underestimate His Opponent Or Even Mocks them And Despite Being Destructive, He's Still a Pacifist and Seems to Avoid all Conflicts if Necessary, But Even With all That Speedwagon's a Pretty Capable Guy.
For Someone who Was Raised on the Streets, Speedwagon may be the Most Gold-Heart Street-Thug, To Oil Tycoon Millionaire ally To the Joestar Clan.
Speedwagon: I Can't Believe You're so Sweet Boomstick and Wizard, It Touches Me S-
Even If He Needs a Hair-Cut.
Speedwagon: ...
.... -Punches Boomstick For the Second Time-
Ow, Goddammit you're Unpredictable!
Speedwagon: Good Show Jolly Good Show!
Prelude[]
Alright, The Combatants are Set Let's End this Debate Once and For all...
It's Time for a-
Dan and Speedwagon: DEATH BA-
-Boomstick Cocks Gun- I'll Kill you Both If I have too!
Speedwagon: Run Away!
Dan Hibiki: AAAAAAH! -Both Run Away-
-Ahem- It's Time for A Death Battle!
Death Battle![]
Pre-Fight[]
(Cue Dan Hibiki's Theme - Super Street Fighter 4)
Hibiki Dojo, Hong Kong
It is A Bright and Sunny Day in the Streets of... Well Scratch That It's a Pretty Crap Day, The Sun was Shining Alright, But it was Expecting Some Heavy Showers Later this Afternoon and The Phone Service has Been Cut In a Familiar Dojo.. We Now Return to Arguing House-Wives.
Dan Hibiki Is Walking in the Hall-Way of His Dojo, Sweating after A Long Day (Or 20 Minutes) of Training with his Students (Great Idea on that One Sagat..) Wiping his Brow and Was Ready to Kick Back, Relax and.. But, Something Didn't feel right It's Like he Was Being Watched... "Ah-Ha!" Dan Said as He Rolled back and (Struggled to) Throw his Watcher over His Shoulder onto the Ground with a Mediocre Thud.
The Figure Got up And Picked up his Checkered Top-Hat of Which He Dusted it Off, "That's No Way to Treat a Gentleman Mr. Martial Arts Mister." The Figure Said as He Threw the Hat into the Air and Landed on His Head with a Silent Thump, This Figure was Robert Edward O. Speedwagon.
"Holy Crap this Guy's Good with Those Hat Skills..." Dan Said Inside his Head Impressed and With Gleam In his Eyes Before Realizing this Was an Opponent after All "Prepare to Meet the Wrath of Daniel Hibiki, Of the Hibiki Dojo and Pure Amazingness!" Dan Says Cockily.
Speedwagon now Intimidated By this Replies "Please No! I'm But, a Speed-Bump from China Town!" He Said, But It seemed that Didn't help Seeing as Dan was Already ready to Fight, "Well then Let this Show Be Jolly!" Speedwagon Replied as He Got into his Fighting Position Readying his Sledge-Hammer
The Battle of Cowardly Pacifists had Begun...
Fight![]
Music Starts
Dan Reacts First By Rolling Towards Speedwagon Giving Him a Good Koryuken to the Jaw and Finishes It By Taunting in the Air for a Boost and Sending Speedwagon flying into the Ground, Speedwagon Recovered and Kicked Dan Backwards and Following it with a Jab or Two.
Dan Got Sent Flying into a Wall at Great Haste and Quickly Recovered and Saw Speedwagon Coming, As Speedwagon was About to Deliver a Whack with his Sledge-Hammer, Dan Reacted and Gave him a Dankukyaku to the Face Causing Speedwagon to Fly Back a Little causing his Sledge-Hammer to be sent somewhere in the Area.
"Victory Is Mine, Taste My Wrath!" Dan Said as He Unleashed his Super attack, Of which Consistently Punching and Kicking Until he Wins and Finished It with a High Koryuken "Take That!" Dan Shouted as Speedwagon got sent Flying, Speedwagon Quickly Recovered and and Drop-Kicked Dan into a Door causing it to Fall down, Revealing on the Other Side are Dan's Students.
What the Wha-" Said a Glasses Wearing Student, "Is That Our Master?" Said a Female Red-Head with a Pony-Tail, "It Is Best Speedwagon!" Said Someone in the Back.
Dan Got up and Looked at Speedwagon of Which He Replied "This Is Quite the Crowd we Picked Up!" Speedwagon said Blissfully, Dan Got up and Spat on the Wooden Floor "Dammit, This Guy's Got Spunk, I guess I have No Other Choice..." Dan Said As He Thought.
"Mr. Hat!" Dan Said, "Now I'll show You What I'm Truly made Of!" as Dan Said that Ki started to Form Around Him and In a Charging Stance and With that He Started slowly Saying the Words "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooo-" The Ki started to Follow around him as the Students looked in awe of their Master.
"Nyo-Ho-Ho the Twoest of People can Play That Game Dear Pinky!" Speedwagon Replied as He Was Charging up His Own attack, Instead of Bluish-White Energy, It was More Yellow and Sparking almost like Electricity and With That Speedwagon started charging up his own attack "Hoooooooooooooo-"
The Students looked In awe As Both Combatants were In a Deadly Charge Up of Who Would Strike First.
(Cue Jojo's Bizarre Adventure - Sono Chi No Sadame)
Speedwagon Charged Up His Attack and Dan Also Did, With their Charging up the Students Started looking a Little Hopeless, Some of Them Started Chatting or Texting On Their Phones, Others Straight Up left the Dojo (Possibly for Good Reason..)
"Aaaaaooooooooo" Went Dan,
"Hoooooooooooo" Went Speedwagon, At this Point The Students Looked full-on Bored at this Point.. Until they Were Finally Releasing their Attacks And It Was, It Was-
"-Gadoken!", "Over-Drive" The Two Went as a Small Projectile was Sent Slowly at Speedwagon Easily Enough to Dodge, Speedwagon Countered with his 'Over-Drive' which Only Gave A Short Spark and Blocked the Useless Projectile coming off with a Fart Soundeffect, Some Students just Looked there Blankly...
Music Stops..
All of them Were Probably thinking "That Was It?" Most of the Students Just Kept on Looking as Both of them Prepared for their Second Assault.
(Cue Undertale - Toriel Battle Theme)
The Two Ran for Each other And Traded Blow for Blow, Speedwagon Kicked and Dan Used a Gakoken to Knock Speedwagon Back causing his Hat to Fall off onto the floor, Speedwagon Retaliated and Threw Dan over His Shoulder into a Wall and Finished It off with a Punch to the Jaw.
Dan Got Sent Flying Backwards and Into the Wall Surprisingly Causing it to Break, And Causing Rubble to Fall onto Him, Everyone Clapped and Cheered for Speedwagon's Supposed Victory... But, Speedwagon Knew It Wasn't Over.
Music Stops
Under the Rubble...
Dan Thought to Himself "No... I can't Give Up like this.. I got to Do this..." He Thought, "For Father!" a Roar Was Heard and Dan Smashed out of the Rubble with Surprising Force injuring some of the Students "Now.." Dan Said "I Shall Take you to the Heavens Where My Father Is!" Dan Yelled as He Entered his New State.
The Raging Demon.
Speedwagon Felt Fear Inside of Him Not Knowing what to Do he Stepped Back a Bit In shock and Confusion, "W-What do I do?!" Speedwagon Said Scared, "Now.. FACE MY WRATH" Dan Said as He Activated Wrath of the Raging demon on Speedwagon dashing Towards him at Great Force.
"AAAAAAAAAH-" Speedwagon Cried Out as He Thought he Saw His Life flash Before His Eyes... But, It didn't What Dan Didn't Know is that a Well-Placed hat was on the Floor and With that...
..Dan Tripped over.
Record Scratch And Music Stops...
Speedwagon Looked down On Dan as He Was Currently Face-Planted on the Floor and As Dan Looked Up.. He Saw a Man With a Checkered Top-Hat looking Down At Him.
"Ah, Man..." Dan Said followed with a Squeaky Toy Noise.
(Cue Rabbids Go Home - Bãtutã Din Moldova)
Music Starts
Speedwagon Upper-Cutted Dan and Punched him 3 Times, With a Drop-Kick, Causing Dan to Be Sent Dizzy as He Got Up, Speedwagon Looked around to Finish off the Job and He Found His Sledge-Hammer as He Was About to Grab It, Dan Jumped on top on Speedwagon and Tried to finish him off with a Deadly Gadoken to the Head.
Music Stops
Speedwagon Tried to Shake him Off, But Dan Wouldn't Budge as That Happened "You Know-" Speedwagon Said Getting Up Causing Dan To Roll Back "It's Not Nice-" Speedwagon Said to Follow on "To Take On A Gentleman such as Me!" Speedwagon Said as his Hat got flipped back on his head and With That, with a Run and A Large swing...
"Not again..." Said Dan.
Shoop!
Dan's Head was Knocked Clean Off By the Sledge-Hammer Strike, causing it to Be Sent Flying outside of the Dojo, In an Alley-Way, into the Head Trash (Kudo's for Reference), Speedwagon Looked as The Pink to Blood-Red Gi Of Dan Was Soaked and his Body Tumbled down to the Floor with a Large Thump.
"Good Show Jolly Good Show Dear Martial Man Artist!" Speedwagon Triumphed in Victory, Dan's Student Cheering, But At the Same Time Throwing Up at the Sight of their Dead Master, Boy was That Going to be a Mess to Clean Up...
In Other News...
K.O![]
Speedwagon and Ex-Dan's Students Revamp the Whole Place Into a Now Known "Speedwagon Foundation: Martial Art's School", Speedwagon Felt Good About this New Future Ahead Of Him and His Peers, But He Felt Guilt about Killing that Poor master... And The Guy who Has to Clean Up his Dead Body.
Dan Hibiki's Soul Left His Body to Leave for Heaven And to Mock His Father In the After-Life for Failing Him... Poor Bastard.
Results[]
(Cue Jojo's Bizarre Adventure - Bloody Stream)
I Guess Hibiki Had What It was Coming to Him For Sometime... Not a Drop-Kick from Sagat, But a Sledge-Hammer In his Face..
Dan And Speedwagon Were Admittedly Weak Adversaries, Though Dan Has Martial Arts Training and a Projectile Advantage, Speedwagon Trumped Dan In Everything Else, He Could Think More Clearly, Had More of A Destructive Assortment of Weaponry and Could Even Overpower Dan.
Also, While Dan Fails to Barely Throw a Normal Person over His Back, Speedwagon Has Knocked Multiple Zombies Back With his Sledge-Hammer and They're Bigger, Stronger and Heavier than What Dan Takes.
To Add to this, Dan Being that Character Has Only One Confirmed Win and was Only Rigged Mostly Because Sagat Threw the Match, Speedwagon took this To a New level by Killing Super-Human Zombies that have had Experience to Fighters like Speedwagon.
Also, Dan's Pretty Much a Coward always Relying on Pure-Luck and Taunting while Speedwagon Has Survived Living on a Street teaching you Street Rules On Day One And Believe they They Call It "Ogre Street" for good Measure, I guess Speedwagon gave Dan the Hammer of Justice.
The Winner Is-
Speedwagon: Me! I mean Robert Edward O. Speedwagon! P-Please don't shoot Me.