Summary[]
Kuroshitsuji vs hunger games
will the whimsical kidnapper show his dark side or will the fearsome knife-thrower s reveal her bloodlust?
Interlude[]
Wiz: The art of knife throwing has been treasured around the world, whether it’s for circus acts or just for ninjas
Boomstick: Like Naruto?
Wiz: Sorta but today we’ll have two hot-headed teenagers duke it out in a knife throwing duel
Boomstick: Like dagger, the knife throwing extraordinaire from the Noah’s ark circus
Wiz: And clove, the female career tribute of the 74th hunger games
Boomstick: He’s wiz and I’m boomstick!
Wiz: and it’s our job to analyse their strengths, armour and skills to see who would win in a death battle
Rules[]
- This battle will be set at the 74th hunger games cornecopia
- Clove and dagger will both have their throwing knife in the cornecopia
- if you are hungry you can go eat a hamburger ^-^
Dagger[]
Wiz: the east ends, where all the rejects of society live when they have nowhere else to go
Boomstick: And one of these freaks was this kid, Dagger and for some reason he lost an leg and had a bandaid on his nose....where the hell did he get that?
Wiz: Found by the Baron Kelvin, Dagger and his adopted family were taken in on one condition
Booomstick: they kidnapped innocent children and they decided to make things even more complicated...start a circus
Joker: Now we need stage name *points to dagger* you will be dagger, it’ll be short and sweet
Dagger: eh?
Wiz: and his missing leg was replaced by a protistic leg and he tweaked on his knife throwing skills and it was so good he can never miss.
*shows scene where he’s chucking knives at Sebastian*
Boomstick: Dagger uses…daggers but nevertheless chucks them and he holds them between his fingers in order to increase his max daggers which is 4 daggers
Wiz: He also has great accuracy, being able nail the space of a women
Boomstick: chicks who wear these leaves-nothing-to-the-imagination clothes
Wiz: a woman on a spinning wheel and not impaling a body part
Boomstick: as a circus freaks, he was trained to do backflips, cartwheels and random shit that belong doll and the trapeze twins’s act
*cues the anime opening scene where he does a backflip and throws knives*
Boomstick: hell are they singing anyway…allow me to sing this opening boomstick style…wow! And here’s a cow and side boob! What’s doing sassy dead, and there is coloured sauce
Wiz: The romaji is Mou nani mo kamo zenbu wasure sasete ageru kara sa. And the English translation from literal google translate is “I'll get another let the whole thing forgotten”
Boomstick: still he always targets the important parts of the body when killing
*cues scene where he’s killing the policemen and winks at the little girl*
Wiz: it’s not shown whether he can do this or not but he can sometimes use one of his throwing knives as a stabbing knife
Boomstick: and his fake leg provides him immunity from gunfire and stab wounds but demonstrated by his dear brother, it can be cut by a sword and hopefully cause a good amount of bleeding
Wiz: Dagger is a cocky and perverted boy
Boomstick: sounded like me in highschool
Wiz: who sometimes doesn’t think clearly, like the time he decided to throw knives at Sebastian in a tent after the butler touched beast's prosthetic leg
Dagger: you bastard! How dare you touch my lady’s leg that I wanted to touch!
Doc: dagger, wait!
Dagger begins throwing knives at Sebastian, who catches all of them
Wiz: not only that but he can underestimate his opponents
Boomstick: not surprised it’s hard to tell that bardroy hid a FUCKING MACHINE GUN IN THE KITCHEN! And ciel…GAVE HIS MAID GUNS and FINNY IS A
Bardroy: oh so you want to have fun? Let’s have some fun! *unveils the machine gun*
Dagger and beast gasp
Dagger: miss look out!'
Wiz: and finally his daggers does have a specific limit and when he chucks them all, well he’s a sitting duck until he can retrieve all his daggers
Boomstick: man, I’d kill to join the noah’s ark circus, minus the many deaths involved
Beast cradles dagger in her arms.
Beast: dagger...why?
Dagger: i...wanted...to...take...miss..over...the..hill
Clove[]
Wiz: in a dystopian…
Boomstick: dystopian world, shitty president, blood-slaughtering teens! That’s America in the future…seriously that sounds like America now when donald trump takes over
Wiz: In the hunger games, there are usually the dominet pack: the career tributes from district 1, 2 and 4
Boomstick: In the books that is, see Wiz? I did my homework!
Wiz: Clove was in the careers pack of the 74th hunger games, alongside her partner Cato. And was proven to be a fierce and formidable child
*cues scene where she throws a knife at the district 9 boy in the back and Katniss looks at Clove with fear*
Boomstick: Clove carries an arsenal deadly knives and she can throw them with great accuracy, being able to target vital areas like the back and the face.
Wiz: She also has been trained to hand to hand combat, being able to tackle down Katniss and pin her down.
Boomstick: clove is also a master of threatening and sweet-talking in order to weaken her opponents
Wiz: although the problem like all career tributes…is that they get too arrogant and thus they get can get into tricky situations
Thresh: you killed her didn’t you
Clove: NO! NO!
Thresh: you said her name!
Clove: CATO CATO!
Boomstick: not only that but Clove also likes telling lies and sometimes she can’t worm her way out
Wiz: but will Clove is still a formidable tribute who struck fear in the hearts of the other tributes of the 74th hunger games
Boomstick: minus Cato and thresh
Clove: where’s lover boy?...oh I see…you were going to help him right? Well that’s sweet, well it’s too bad you couldn’t save your friend, that little girl…what was her name? Rue
Katniss struggles and screams as Clove brings the knife close to her face.
Clove: yeah well we killed her…and now we’re going…
*She brings the knife close to Katniss’ throat*
Clove: to kill you
Pre-FIGHT[]
Wiz: ok the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
Death battle[]
Clove and Dagger rise up on their opposite podiums and Aqua’s face appeared in the sky
Aqua: let the death battle begin
Clove and Dagger jump off their stands and run to the cornucopia.
FIGHT!
(Cue Clear the table)
Clove picks up an array of throwing knvies, she tossed one at Dagger. He ducked and smirked at Clove
Dagger: jeez, miss, yee thighs look lovely, like Beast…I wonder if your boobs are…
Clove: what the fuck?
Dagger: ARGH! I mean skills, your skills are good
And Dagger commenced blushing, taking advantage of this; Clove threw two knives at his head and chest. The blonde boy rolled into cover and picked up four daggers, he tossed an array at Clove’s head. She ducked and found a smart idea. Clove ran to the other side of the cornucopia, she then smirked. Dagger looked around.
Dagger: oh miss, where are you?
Clove: I’m here!
Clove throws a knife at Dagger’s leg, causing blood to drip from his ankle, she pinned him down. Dagger swung his leg at her, causing Clove to fall over, the blonde then backflipped and threw three knives aimed at her arms and chest; the brunette rolled backwards and threw a knife at Dagger.
Dagger: wow, miss you’re good! You should join our circus
Clove: Ha! I think you’re more suited for a clown or rather a CORSPE ONCE I’M FINISH WITH YOUR SORRY ASS!
Clove frisked her pocket….no more daggers at her arsenal…She stared at Dagger with fear, the blonde began smirking at her, he pulled four daggers and threw it at her head. Clove ducked and noticed something…Dagger also ran out of knives, she smirked and picked out one of the knives nearby and punched him on the face; Clove pushed him on the ground and held a knife to his throat and smirked with malice.
Clove: wow…you look scared, you could say you had a knife life. My sources tell me that you have a family…don’t worry I’ll send them a gift…YOUR HEAD!
Clove raised her knife with the blade aiming his face and proceeded to stab him. Dagger spat at her face, she screamed and wiped her face. Dagger pushed her down and ran around the cornucopia, he collected any knives he found. Clove chased him around the cornucopia.
Clove: Bitch you get your ass back here!
Dagger flipped backwards and threw knives at Clove who was caught unaware…she screamed
KO!
Dagger examines his leg, the fake leg was messed up causing him to sigh…until he looked at Clove’s corpse
Dagger:…sorry miss, your boobs may have been lovely but I need your thighs or more like thigh bones.
Results[]
Boomstick: Damn, who knew Dagger was more of a pervert than me
Wiz: Clove may have been trained as a killing machine but Dagger’s athletic circus tricks managed to pull off this victory
Boomstick: Clove may have been smarter than most of her careers but Dagger being able to chuck more knives with only one hand managed to prove her better
Wiz: not only that but Clove has only being in one life-threatening situation and she lost
Boomstick: Dagger on the other hand has dealt with random policemen with guns, dealt with Peter’s bitch slaps and a machine gun!
Wiz: well he didn’t survive that blow but still more fighting experience than clove
Boomstick: Like clove’s thighs were cut for dagger’s shape.
Aqua: dude that sucked
Wiz: Sigh…the winner is Dagger