So basically I did a DC's Strangest Villains Battle Royale at the start of season 2 and according to a poll I made to see if I should do another battle royale like this, DC's Strangest Heroes Battle Royale won so yeah I'm doing it. It features 12 DC superheroes and it is episode 10 of season 2 and the Season Finale.
Description[]
A battle royale between DC's weirdest and strangest heroes!
Intro[]
(Cue Wiz and Boomstick)
Boomstick: DC Comics is home to some of the most iconic superheroes of all time: Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, and more!
Wiz: But not everyone can reach the top of the list. Like Bouncing Boy, the human ball.
Boomstick: Matter-Eater Lad, the hero capable of eating anything.
Wiz: Ambush Bug, the teleporting fourth wall breaker.
Boomstick: Arm-Fall-Off-Boy, his name is a dead giveaway.
Wiz: The Wonder Twins, the alien-shapeshifting duo.
Boomstick: Stone Boy, the superhero that can turn himself into a statue.
Wiz: The Weird, the dimensional guardian and a character whose name perfectly fits in this Death Battle.
Boomstick: Flex Mentallo, the muscle-power using superhero.
Wiz: Bat-Cow, one of the pets of the Bat Family.
Boomstick: Odd Man, the bright-colored vigilante and another character whose name fits here.
Wiz: Friendly Fire, basically if Deadshot had bad luck.
Boomstick: And Red Bee, specifically Jenna Raleigh, grandniece of the original Red Bee.
Wiz: I'm Wiz and he's Boomstick, and we are going to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win in a Death Battle!
Bouncing Boy[]
Wiz: Chuck Taine was just your average normal human boy living a normal life in the future.
Boomstick: Then one day, he accidentally drank a super plastic formula because he thought it was a soda pop. Like how do you get those two mixed up!
Wiz: After this incident Chuck realized that he had somehow gained powers.
Boomstick: And what better to do with it than join the Legion of Super-Heroes! Until he was rejected...
Wiz: Lucky for him though because after using his new powers to stop a robbery he was admitted back into the team, and took on the codename of Bouncing Boy. He was also appointed as the Legion's "Morale Officer" thanks to his good humor, wits, and charm.
Boomstick: Just as his name suggests he can basically bounce around like a ball.
Wiz: It's a little more than that as Chuck can expand his body or inflate himself to form a sphere. He becomes extremely rubbery and elastic, which enables him to ricochet off of most surfaces. Now this was originally thought to be useless by his teammates, but they did learn that he makes an effective ballistic weapon.
Boomstick: You know my explanation was just a way simplified version of yours?
Wiz:...
Boomstick: Oh, and just because his power is to make himself a W I D E B O Y I think this is a great opportunity to use this meme.
Wiz: What do you mean? Um Boomstick, what are you doing with my musicinator?
Boomstick: Watch and learn.
(Boomstick presses a button)
Wiz: You gotta be kidding me-
(Cue https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElogqKc7AIk)
Wiz: Now back to analyzing him. Bouncing Boy is a pretty smart engineer and architect as he built and designed his own spaceship known as... wait for it... Bouncing Boy!
Boomstick: Wow, what a creative name for a smart kid like him.
Wiz: Right? He also possesses a Legion Flight Ring which is powered by a micro-computer. It acts as his navigational compass, signal device, communicator, and allows him to fly as far and as fast as he wants depending on his willpower. It's like some sort of a manmade Green Lantern ring, but without the construct creation.
Boomstick: Alright! Time for some feats.
Wiz: Hmmm, let's see. Bouncing Boy doesn't really feel any pain when he bounces off of surfaces, exclaiming that his body "feels soft... like a sponge!" He has shown this when he landed on the surface of the ocean after falling from the sky without any pain, and he just bounces right back into the air. He has also survived being blasted by lasers and getting thrown into metallic objects.
Boomstick: He has defeated three raiders after ricocheting off of them in a matter of seconds, beat several Fatal Five members, crushed a robot after bouncing at it, and knocked out a criminal all while tearing off his power generator just by slamming into him.
Wiz: He is fast enough to intercept and bounce a missile message off of him to detonate in the sky, has dodged lightning, and an attack from an earthquake monster.
Boomstick: He's definitely an interesting character, but couldn't they have drawn a cooler design? I mean he looks weird, very weird.
Wiz: Well how else are you suppose to draw a guy with the powers to inflate himself into a ball?
Boomstick: Good point. I guess you don't fuck with the Chuck.
Bouncing Boy: "Chuck Taine, codename Bouncing Boy."
Matter-Eater Lad[]
Wiz: Tenzil Kem, known as Matter-Eater Lad is the fifteenth super powered person to join the Legion of Super-Heroes. He was born on the planet named Brismoll.
Boomstick: Wait... his name is Matter-Eater Lad? And his planet is named Brismoll. Pepto-Bismol?
Wiz: After his people discovered that microbes had made all of their food inedible, the population eventually had to adapt in order to overcome this big problem.
Boomstick: This is also where Tenzil got his strange abilities, and what allowed him to joined the Legion.
Wiz: He was lucky because his mother and brother, Mitz Kem and Renkil, attempted to take his place in the Legion, but failed.
Boomstick: Tenzil would later become a senator and a multi-media celebrity on his planet. He used most of his planet's tax money to finance a variety of television shows so that he could leave and go on different fun trips and vacations to Earth and other planets.
Wiz: While his exploits made his character not appreciated by Bismoll's rulers, they also happened to make him way more popular with his planet's masses, and as a result allowed him to be kept as senator. He eventually came across Prince Evillo, one of the Legion of Super-Heroes' villains and the founder of The Devil's Dozen, and was captured and imprisoned at a Hades-like dimension. Thought to be "dead," the opposition party voted Kem out of office.
Boomstick: Matter-Eater Lad is kind of like if someone got their hands on Pac-Man or Kirby's eating abilities.
Wiz: To put it into further detail, Tenzil has superhuman digestion, which allows him to consume any type and amount of matter (solids, liquids, and gases). He has special taste buds that can analyze the ingredients of various foodstuffs, detect substances that are poisonous to him, and determine various chemicals within a substance instantaneously. His digestive enzymes make the substances he is consuming easier to chew and digest, which is how he can eat the hardest objects like steel or rocks without any issue. Lastly, he possesses super-speed!
Boomstick: Great! Can he run at the speed of light and access the speed force now?
Wiz: Not that type of super-speed Boomstick. Whenever matter is consumed they are immediately transformed into food energy at the stomach, allowing him to eat tons of substances in minutes. The food energy created from this process are fueled to make Matter-Eater Lad move faster.
Boomstick: He also possesses a Legion Flight Ring just like Bouncing Boy, and knows some basic hand-to-hand combat.
Wiz: Matter-Eater Lad has stated that iron chains taste "like chocolate cake", ray-guns taste "good", prison-robot's are "just as tasty", and that a stun-beam has no effect when getting consumed by him.
Boomstick: He once hollowed out an entire large meteor in a matter of minutes, ate his way out of a grain silo after being captured, and bit off Lightning Lord's finger.
Wiz: I'd also like to mention that because Matter-Eater Lad can eat any matter, this allows him to bypass even indestructible materials like eating the eye of a cosmic entity known as the emerald eye, and once saved the universe by eating the reality warping device the Miracle Machine. However, its energies left him pretty insane for several years.
Boomstick: Can't believe this dude actually managed to save the universe with his ridiculous power. Also, do you think this guy can eat Superman?
Wiz: Of course he could! Though, he would need to cut him into little pieces to do that as Tenzil cannot simply widen his mouth to fit his needs. Overall, Matter-Eater Lad is definitely one of the goofiest heroes in DC.
MEL: "I'm Matter-Eater Lad! I'm being inducted into the Legion, today!"
Ambush Bug[]
Wiz: Irwin Schwab was a strange man.
Boomstick: So is everyone else in this battle royale...
Wiz: As I was saying, Irwin Schwab was a strange man. His backstory was mostly shrouded in mystery, but he did suffer from mental problems that prevented him from understanding reality around him, so much so, that even his true identity was just a delusion on his part.
Boomstick: His life would change once he got his hands on the Ambush Bug suit in a back alley dumpster. It was a green, skintight suit that covered his entire body, and had two orange anttennas on top.
Wiz: While it may look like some sort of cheap and lazily made costume, it actually comes from an alien named Brum-El from the planet Schwab. His planet was supposedly doomed, so he sent his wardrobe into space in hopes of its survival. It was later intercepted by a giant radioactive alien spider monster. The wardrobe then crash landed on earth, where only two of its clothes survived: The Ambush Bug suit which was founded and kept by Irwin, and Argh!Yle!, an evil sock puppet that would become an enemy of Irwin.
Boomstick: What... What the hell were the writers on!?
Wiz: I have no clue. Once he wore the suit, Irwin decided to start his career as a criminal known as Ambush Bug. He preferred to mess around with a bunch of different super-heroes, being incredibly annoying to them.
Boomstick: Eventually, Irwin decided to change his mind and become a super-hero. He always tries to do the right thing, but ends up getting in the way of himself.
Wiz: He even discovered his own side-kick Cheeks the Toy Wonder, who is literally just a toy doll. Apart from Cheeks Ambush Bug is a lone wolf.
Boomstick: That's probably because nobody can stand being around him for more than three minutes.
Wiz: But that didn't stop him from joining the Justice League!
Boomstick: You got to be kidding me.
Wiz: It didn't last long.
Boomstick: I kind see why.
Wiz: Then he joined the Doom Patrol.
Boomstick: Wha- actually, I can see him fit in that team more.
Wiz: Ambush Bug's main power is teleport to any location, reality, or time. This is done thanks to a hive of little robotic bugs stored in his antennas. However, he can only teleport to areas where there are bugs. This was later fixed when he made some adjustments to his tech, allowing him to teleport without the need of bugs. The suit also provides him superhuman durability from most attacks, and he is pretty agile and skilled at unarmed combat. Though, arguably his greatest power is his special ability to break the fourth wall. He is one of the first characters to be fully aware that he is in a comic book.
(Boomstick whispers into Wiz's ear)
Boomstick: I think we should be careful Wiz, we don't want to have the same problem as that other red fourth wall breaker from Marvel.
Wiz: Agreed. Anyway, his fourth wall breaking is pretty extreme, capable of following the internal thoughts of other characters as well as being aware of other comic book universe such as Marvel. Ambush Bug would become a reporter, going around to find the biggest stories that no one else would. He has been to Mount Olympus, been around during the Trinity War, Darkseid's invasion, and was around for every crisis and convergence.
Boomstick: He has been able to gouge out the eyes of his enemies, knocked out members of the Legion of Substitute Heroes with a single blow, his unusual way of thinking allowed him to guess opponents' tactics, and even super-heroes like Batman or Superman have great difficulty dealing with him.
Wiz: Despite this, Ambush Bug is simply a skinny man in a costume and can be defeated with ease by other lunatics and ridiculous characters like him. He has even died numerous times, but manages to somehow escape by using a back exit.
Boomstick: My god, he's a green deadpo-
Wiz: Don't mention his name! Ambush Bug actually came first so technically he is the original, but then again we also have Deathstroke and later on Red Tool. Oh whatever lets move on!
Ambush Bug: "Hey buddy----can ya spare $2.50----for an out-of-work comic-book character?"
Arm-Fall-Off-Boy[]
Wiz: Not much is known about Floyd Belkin, except for the fact that he comes from another planet named Lallor. He later comes across the Legion of Superheroes, who are basically the Justice League from the distant future of the 30th to 31st centuries, and attempts to join them by participating in their tryouts.
Boomstick: Unfortunately for him, Floyd started panicking during the final test and fell apart. Talk about a mental breakdown. Ha! But don't worry I know how you feel...
Wiz: Now don't feel sad for him readers/viewers because Floyd did later become a member of his planet's elite special forces called the Heroes of Lallor! Oh, and Boomstick he didn't have a mental breakdown... He literally fell apart.
Boomstick: Literally fell apart? Like in pieces? The hell is his superpower!?
Wiz: Here's a hint. The name he chose for his superhero identity is Splitter, but he also goes by Arm-Fall-Off-Boy.
Boomstick: Dear god...
Wiz: That's right, he can mak-
Boomstick: Make people's arms fall off!
Wiz: Ehhh kind of close. He has the superpower to make his own arms fall off and his legs
Boomstick: Where did he get this useless superpower?
Wiz: Matter Eater Lad, a previous hero that we talked about, thinks that Floyd got his powers when carelessly holding Element 152, an anti-gravity metal. However, it was implied that Matter Eater Lad was probably just joking around. Some time later Floyd got his own issue dedicated to him, and it showed that his arms first fell off shortly after he was born. His parents were alarmed of course.
Boomstick: As if this couldn't get any weirder.
Wiz: Arm-Fall-Off-Boy has the ability to remove his limbs (Arms and legs) to use as blunt weapons. He also retains full muscle control over his detached limbs. He made it into the top five finalists out of 445 super powered candidates for the Legion, knocked out a super-villain with one punch, was fine slamming his arm onto a table with considerable force, and was unfazed in a large explosion.
Boomstick: Hahahaha! This guy has such a low chance of winning!
Wiz: Right? He even has trouble controlling his power!
AFOB: "My power will astound you! Observe as I detach my limb, and transform it into a deadly weapon!"
Wonder Twins[]
Wiz: Zan and Janya were two alien siblings that come from the planet Exxor. It was once a peaceful planet that had managed to conquer every social problem imaginable.
Boomstick: Well that's nice.
Wiz: However, their planet was invaded by an enemy alien race. This forced many of the planet's citizens to run away and flee at the fear of being captured. During this time, Zan and Janya were exiled by their people because of their unique shapeshifting powers. They were later captured as slaves and thrown into a space zoo, they did eventually escape into deep space only to accidentally crash land on earth.
Boomstick: They also brought their pet space-monkey named Gleek with them. Aww man, I would love to have an alien monkey as a pet!
Wiz: Who knows, maybe I'll get you one if you help with their analysis.
Boomstick: Deal! While they were able to make it onto our planet alive, there was a big problem. Both of them didn't speak English, so you can kind of see how this went downhill.
Wiz: The twins attacked a bunch of innocent civilians, and even fought the Justice League when they arrived to the scene. During their fight, the Justice League gained some interest in the Wonder Twins' shapeshifting abilities.
Boomstick: The twins were both defeated and thrown into custody. Though, they were later released to join Justice League member, Captain Atom and his superhero team. It consisted of other superheroes like Blue Beetle, Amazing Man, Booster Gold, Firestorm, and Maxima.
Wiz: The Wonder Twins would become a pretty well known superhero duo, using their powers for good and to protect the lives of innocents.
Boomstick: Too bad they are still superheroes-in-training. Ha!
Wiz: The twins gain access to their shape-shifting abilities when in physical contact with each other, saying the phrase, "Wonder Twin powers, activate!", and what they are turning into like "Shape of...", or "Form of...". This is pretty similar to Shazam.
Boomstick: This is quite possibly... the worst way to access a superpower. Might as well give away your social security number while you're at it.
Wiz: When together the twins share a telepathic link, allowing them to alert each other of danger at a distance. They can also both resist and break out of mental attacks and mind control. As for their individual abilities, Zan can transform into water in any state whether it is a solid, liquid, or gas. Meanwhile, Janya can transform into any animal.
Boomstick: In the case of becoming ice, Zan has transformed into ice cages, ice missiles, an ice jet engine, a walking spiky ice wall, and something even incredibly useless like an ice gondola or ice rink.
Wiz: He has also been liquid nitrogen, blizzards, typhoons, waterspouts, floods, and something as strange as turning into a 5000ft tall frost giant. As for his sister Janya, she can transform into a variety of animals whether it is from our planet, other planets, and fantasy creatures.
Boomstick: Some examples of earth animals include transforming into something as small as a mosquito to something as big as a whale. For alien creatures, one time she transformed into a Kryptonian animal and gained the creature's natural abilities as well as super-powers that all Kryptonians get when under Earth's conditions.
Wiz: This form allowed her to even overpower Superman for a little bit! For fantasy creatures, Janya has became a pegasus and a sea serpent. The only problem with her powers is that she has to envision a specific animal in her mind's-eye, and correctly name it if she were to transform into it.
Boomstick: I don't know about you, but it seems that Janya is the strongest of the two.
Wiz: That's cause she kind of is. As for their main weakness it is pretty obvious. The twins have to make physical contact with one another and yell out some phrases. You could probably beat them with ease if you keep them away from each other.
Boomstick: Alright my brain hurts from hearing transform so many times. Anyway, can I get my space monkey now?
Wiz: I thought we were joking...
Wonder Twins: "Wonder Twin powers, activate!"
Stone Boy[]
Wiz: Dag Wentim is a Zwenian from the planet Zwen. He was born a Metahuman and was destined to become a superhero.
Boomstick: And like most young Metahumans during his time, Dag attempted to become a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes!
Wiz: Unfortunately for him, he was rejected from the team because he hadn't mastered his abilities making him pretty much useless on missions.
Boomstick: But that didn't stop him from being the superhero that he dreamed of becoming, so he recruited a bunch of other rejected Metahumans like him and with their help they formed the Legion of Substitute Heroes.
Wiz: Five years later Stone Boy would remain as a major member of the Legion of Substitute Heroes. However, the team's numbers would decrease when they are attacked by xenophobic Justice League of Earth. Like his team, this super-villain group was also made up of rejected Metahumans except they didn't take the rejection to well.
Boomstick: So they turned to the Darkseid, see what I did there?
Wiz: Boomstick.
Boomstick: Annnywayy, these guys essentially became racist towards aliens, killing off any alien they can find on Earth. Yikes...
Wiz: During the aftermath of the battle, the Legion of Substitute Heroes now consisted of Fire Lad, Rainbow Girl and Chlorophyll Kid.
Boomstick: His powers and abilities also evolved over time, making him a very formidable opponent then when he first appeared at the try outs.
Wiz: Like all Zwenians, Stone Boy can petrify his body into stone, giving him superhuman strength and durability. His species developed this unique power to pass their planet's six months of complete darkness.
Boomstick: In his stone form he can be used to attack his enemies in numerous ways: Being dropped on a villain from above, used as a distraction, and an obstacle for his allies to throw enemies at.
Wiz: Stone Boy can even turn certain parts of his body, like his fists, into stone to deal more damage.
Boomstick: There is one problem... he can't move in his stone form; he literally turns himself into an inanimate stone statue.
Wiz: Though he did find a solution to that problem, which was a major achievement for himself. He underwent hypnotherapy and gained the ability to awake during his transformation and, eventually, was even able to move around in his stone form.
Boomstick: Hooray for Stone Boy!
Wiz: lastly, as a cadet of the Legion, he underwent personal combat training.
Boomstick: To be honest, Stone Boy should've just remained as an alien who transforms into a stone statue because now he's basically Colossus if his skin turned into the Thing's rocky body rather than metal.
Wiz: But then again, that would make him pretty useless and easy to defeat.
Stone Boy: "I call myself Stone Boy because I can turn myself into solid stone! But the Legionaries said my power was too static and would accomplish nothing positive! Watch me change!"
The Weird[]
Wiz: Well, well, well look at this guy's name.
Boomstick: He's the perfect combatant for this battle royale!
Wiz: The Weird is a yellow glowing being made out of pure energy from another dimension. He is part of a race called the Zarolatts, who have been enslaved as energy sources by his dimension's dominant race called the Macrolatts.
Boomstick: After some planning, the Macrolatts attempted to invade Earth and its dimension, but The Weird had enough of this oppression so he began uniting his people to fight back.
Wiz: However, the Zarolatts were too docile so creating an uprising was pretty impossible.
Boomstick: The Weird had to come up with a second plan, which was to secretly travel and find any superhero he could find on Earth. Lucky for him, some guy named Jason Morgan was creating a portal to The Weird's dimension.
Wiz: This is how The Weird managed to come to Earth.
Boomstick: Too bad Earth isn't the nicest place towards strange, non-human visitors.
Wiz: On arrival he attracted the attention of multiple superheroes like Superman, Batman, Martian Manhunter, Captain Atom, and some others. The Weird would battle the Justice League in his energy form and then later gain a physical form of Walter Langley, which also allowed him to blend in with the people of Earth.
Boomstick: After a bunch of events: The Weird killed Morgan since he was the one who created the portal to his dimension in the first place, some Macrolatts managed to escape and possess several Justice League members, and The Weird saves the Justice League and the world by getting rid of the Macrolatts.
Wiz: But their victory was short lived as The Weird's new body was molecularly unstable so he had to be transported into space and explode at a safe distance.
Boomstick: Rest in piece.
Wiz: He did actually make a return, but lets now talk about his powers and abilities. The Weird's natural state is made out of pure energy, which he can use it to affect the physical density of anything he comes in contact with.
Boomstick: He has superhuman durability, superhuman strength, electrokinesis, manipulation over any energy he comes across, can fly by riding magnetic currents, illusion creation via the manipulation of brainwaves, can lobotomize people by sending a charge into their brains, can rebuild his body similar to Doctor Manhattan, become intangible to phase through solid objects, and alter the molecular density of his body and other physical objects as well. Man, that's a lot!
Wiz: He was capable of sending Superman flying at least three miles just by touching him, knocked out Martian Manhunter, lifted a huge rock with one arm and then skipped it across a body of water, and created an island via super strength and affecting its density.
Boomstick: He has shrugged off hits from Superman, Captain Comet, and Martian Manhunter.
Wiz: His energy manipulation has allowed him to control hellfire and redirect Guy Gardner's blast to not only knock him out, but also take out the entire Metropolis energy grid!
Boomstick: His energy blasts are incredibly powerful as well! It was capable of KOing Doctor Fate, blowing up an alien dinosaur that was giving Hawkman, Adam Strange, Starfire, and Animal Man a hard time, and his self-destruct is strong enough to wipe out half of the planet!
Wiz: Which was proven when he went critical and killed all life on the planet Rann and destroyed its atmosphere. Oh, he also killed Synnar, a being with powers that threatened all of reality and even attempted to eliminate the freaking Presence.
Boomstick: Strange how this character has shown a lot of impressive feats yet he has basically been forgotten...
Wiz: Well until today.
The Weird: "Be your hellfire mystical or not, Deacon Dark, it is nonetheless still energy. And the Weird has a definite affinity with energy. It allows me to manipulate it. Cease your assault and I shall--"
Deacon Dark burns into a crisp
The Weird: "Ooops! Too late! Well, I would have spared him."
Flex Mentallo[]
Wiz: Before becoming a superhero, Flex Mentallo was just an ordinary man that enjoyed hanging out at the beach.
Boomstick: But as much as he liked being there, he was bullied a lot for being pretty scrawny. It's like you can't have a superhero origin story without bullies.
Wiz: Sick of being bullied for his scrawniness, Flex was driven to become stronger. He was approached by some guy smoking three cigars at once and had a tv for a head. This man gave him a coupon that would change his life forever.
Boomstick: For some reason Flex actually trusted this weird looking person and did end up getting his hands on the "Muscle Mystery for You", which is a special body building guide book.
Wiz: After spending lots of time with it and working out. Flex soon became the muscled strongman that he has always dreamed of being.
Boomstick: Not only did he become super buff, but he also got superpowers! What a lucky guy, his dream came true and he got powers. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting to see my dad return.
Wiz: Yikes. Anyway, after he used his abilities for the first time to stop a bully a halo with the words "HERO OF THE BEACH" appeared right above him, which caused Flex to make the decision of becoming a crimefighter.
Boomstick: Though he could've chosen a better superhero costume. All he wears is a pair of wrestling boots and leopard-skin trunks.
Wiz: As life went on, Flex Mentallo would join a group for some time that included people like Atomic Salad, who is half-man and half-salad, and the Fact, who carries little cards with different facts on each one.
Boomstick: Then one day he would come across a conspiracy in the Pentagon. However, he didn't remember what it was and he only knew it had something to do with the five sides. Now what did he do to solve this problem? Well he tried to turn the Pentagon into a circle!
Wiz: This kind of backfired and caused Flex to lose his powers and his memories, essentially giving him amnesia.
Boomstick: Lucky for him though, after teaming up with the Doom Patrol and successfully stopping the conspiracy he regained his powers and memories.
Wiz: With his mission complete Flex went on his separate way. Flex Mentallo has the powers of muscle mystery.
Boomstick: He also has superhuman strength and durability, managing to survive being blasted by Ultra-Violet Mentallium, which can transform anyone into anything on contact. He once benched 10,000 KG and even held down an evil version of Superman named the Milkman Man.
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Wiz: Just by flexing his muscles he is able to do a whole bunch of crazy things.
Boomstick: He can fling people around, destroy objects, read people's minds, make himself invisible to someone, see into the future and alternate dimensions, was able to inspect a bomb and then defuse it, and has the mental strength to keep hold of his mind when he had amnesia.
Wiz: Flex Mentallo was capable of flexing for two months straight, succeeded in turning the Pentagon into a circle, escaped the pull of a black hole, and once accidentally flexed too hard and caused drastic changes in his own apartment building.
Boomstick: Drastic changes like shattering lightbulbs, reversing paintings, cracking wine glasses, giving people visions of worlds folding into empty envelopes, giving people bizarre dreams of the word 'obviously', people apparently saw god, people thought of astounding new ideas for leisure footware, and some even had uncontrollable umm... orgasms, which is a bit odd.
Wiz: His greatest feat however is with a single flex he one-shotted his author and creator, who was capable of many things like sending a man through time, destroying the world, turning a man into a cube, or even forcing someone to feel such despair that they immediately try to commit suicide.
Boomstick: Holy moly Mentallo! I can't believe he started off as a weakling that was bullied a lot and later became a reality warping strongman!
Wiz: Well getting bullied does seem to be one of the key steps to becoming a superhero.
Flex Mentallo: "That's right! The Chief called me--the sensational character find of the year--Flex Mentallo!"
Bat-Cow[]
Wiz: Born and raised in a slaughterhouse, this peaceful cow was destined to be slaughtered for who knows what type of product. Most likely food.
Boomstick: Luckily, Batman and Robin (Damien Wayne) rescued her in order to test for diseases that she may have been infected with by a group of criminals.
Wiz: They tested some experiments on her at the Bat Cave, and during this time Robin gained some affection for her. Surprisingly, Batman didn't mind Bat-Cow either and actually decided to keep her as a pet. Now apart of the Bat-Family, Robin affectionately named her Bat-Cow or Battlin' Bovine. Robin even became a vegetarian for a short time just because of her.
Boomstick: So is she like Krypto where she's an animal born with mysterious superpowers?
Wiz: Nope! She's just a cow.
Boomstick: Perhaps the experiments done on her gave her powers right?
Wiz: She's just a cow...
Boomstick: She's a magical cow! No, she's a robot!
Wiz: Boomstick... She's just a normal living, grass-eating, peaceful cow. However, she does have indomitable willpower so who knows maybe she'll become a Green Lantern in the future?
Boomstick: So she isn't a super powered cow?
Wiz: I already told you that Bat-Cow is just a normal, living, grass eating, cow....
Boomstick: Huh...
Wiz: Anyway, Bat-Cow has a star-shaped brand on her side and a bat-shaped patch on her face that also kind of resembles a mask. Sometimes she is even shown to wear her own bat cape, which actually looks pretty intimidating.
Boomstick: So Wiz, how deadly are cows in battle?
Wiz: Cows are capable of fighting for long periods of time with some resting periods in between each. They are shown to sometimes have some aggression towards humans and their favorite method of attacking is by bunting, kicking, and crushing their attackers.
Boomstick: The fact that she's an actually ally of Batman just confuses the hell out of me.
Wiz: Bat-Cow currently lives in the Wayne Manor barn, where she has teamed up with several different superheroes over time like Beast Boy and Animal Man. She even joined the Legion of Super Pets, which is a superhero team consisting of you guessed it... superhero pets. Members include Ace the Bat-Hound, Clay Critter, Krypto, Detective Chimp, and a few others. Now I know what your thinking, but yes, this exists.
Boomstick: So what feats does she have?
Wiz: Not much really. She did do some hero work with some other hero pets and single handedly beat a group of thieves so that's something. Oh, and she also fought a bull infected with Joker venom.
Boomstick: The bull that laughs?
Wiz: That's about right.
Boomstick: Well then I can't wait to see how Bat-Cow will do on the battlefield. NANANANANA BAT-COW!
Robin (Damian Wayne): "As of now I'm a vegetarian. And this is Bat-Cow."
Odd Man[]
Wiz: Working in the mean and brutal streets of River City, Clayton Stoner was just a private detective with nothing really special.
Boomstick: But all that normality got to him and he decided to become a wacky clown looking vigilante.
Wiz: He wore bright, multicolored mismatched patchwork clothes and a rubber mask with one eye red and the other eye yellow. He would set out to fight crime and battle the forces of evil under the name of... Odd Man!
Boomstick: Creative... Very creative.
Wiz: His first battle and job as a superhero was against two Egyptian themed supervillains, Pharaoh and Queen of the Nile. After investigating multiple museums, protecting several artifact collectors that they preyed on, and stalking the two criminals... He was defeated and trapped.
Boomstick: Oh...
Wiz: Until he broke out just in time to catch and defeat them! This would ultimately make his name known throughout River City, making him its sole protector.
Boomstick: How sweet.
Wiz: At one point, Odd Man would join the Hero Hotline service, which is a special commercial enterprise that provides substitute heroes when requested. All you have to do is dial 1-800-555-HERO and call. However, his membership wasn't expanded upon. Next, Odd Man would discover an opportunity online to apply for a job to work as a field agent for Project Cadmus, a genetic engineering project, and later the Power Company, a group of heroes that solve crimes but only for the highest bidder.
Boomstick: Strange how the job went to the pyromaniac criminal, Heatwave of all people! Though, he was reformed by the time so I guess he kind of gets a pass. Kind of.
Wiz: Odd Man would reappear during the Infinite Crisis to assist a bunch of magic users summon the Spectre near the end of the Day of Vengeance, and fight alongside other super-heroes in Metropolis against the Secret Society of Super Villains. He was even one of the pallbearers at Booster Gold's funeral.
Boomstick: Like Batman, he doesn't have any special powers and mainly relies on gadgets and his wits to get the job done. His costume is used to confuse and distract enemies. Surprisingly, his strange colorful clothes are actually feared by the criminal underworld of River City.
Wiz: Odd Man is an expert interrogator, skilled in stealth, great in acrobatics, and is a gifted gadgeteer; he has built numerous weapons to defeat his enemies like a weighted extended tie, a spray that melts plastic, slippery oil spray, another spray that knocks people unconscious, and special gloves that release powder and smoke when clapping his hands together. He also self taught himself how to street fight and box, which enabled him to go up against Onomatopoeia, who is one of the most deadliest assassins on the planet.
Boomstick: He is fast enough to dodge a stream of deadly blue liquid, dodged multiple attacks by the Pharaoh’s Mummy Gun, defeated two supervillains on his first mission, and beaten Onomatopoeia, who has almost killed Deadshot, Joker, and gone up against Batman in hand-to-hand combat.
Wiz: Oh! I forgot to mention that he is well aware of the fourth wall.
Boomstick: No... not another one!
Wiz: Overall, Odd Man is actually a pretty cool and interesting character. Too bad not many know about him.
Boomstick: You know, this guy just got me thinking.
Wiz: About what?
Boomstick: He's kind of like a combination of Batman and Joker.
Wiz: So basically the Batman Who Laughs?
Boomstick: Not exactly, he's got a wacky clown-like design with trick weapons, but is also an intelligent detective and vigilante.
Wiz: Hmmm, never thought of that.
Odd Man: "You can't get a gig in the DCU when you're not part of the official continuity!"
Friendly Fire[]
Wiz: Gotham City is filled with all types of dangerous criminals, meta-humans, and killers.
Boomstick: Even the police is corrupted and can't always be trusted.
Wiz: Lucky for Gotham, they have the Dark Knight himself Batman! Hooowwwever, he can't always do the job alone; there are plenty of other superheroes that also battle against crime and evil in Gotham, but today we'll be talking about Friendly Fire. His true identity is unknown and all we know is that he was recruited to being one of the main members of Sector 8, a superhero team formed by the alcoholic superhero Sixpack. They operate in The Cauldron, the Irish section of Gotham City.
Boomstick: The team isn't the best, I mean it's made out of delusional and wannabe heroes! Not Booster Gold or Plastic Man type, but worse.
Wiz: Some members include: Six Pack who believes he is a real superhero and does not realize that all his heroic moments are actually just drunken dreams, Bueno Excellente is an actor that loves to play "smash", The Defenestrator has an addiction of carrying a window around and loves throwing people through windows.
Boomstick: Friendly Fire is a large, unlucky man in a red cowl whose main ability is pyrokinesis.
Wiz: By clenching his fists and aiming his hands at his targets, he can fire powerful bolts of energy to blow objects and opponents apart.
Boomstick: Friendly Fire could easily be the most powerful member of Sector 8. However, his aim goddamn sucks! That's why his name is Friendly Fire because he keeps on missing his targets or ends up blasting his own teammates!
Wiz: Specifically Shakes, who is another member of the team and is the frequent accidental target of Friendly Fire. Shakes does somehow survive until the incident....
Boomstick: Friendly Fire is also shown to be the "smartest" out of the delusional heroes as he was the only one to point out how pathetic the team was and that all they did was have meetings once a month and then do nothing. He even told Six Pack that his 'superhero' missions are nothing, but illusions from drunken dreams. What a savage.
Wiz: He does apologize afterwards so that's nice.
Boomstick: But that wasn't enough to stop the team from splitting up and retiring.
Wiz: Until the demonic entities known as the Multi-Angled Ones attacked Gotham. This brought the team back together to actually battle against them.
Boomstick: About time they finally do something!
Wiz: In fact, they actually managed to save the city, but with the exception of a lot of casualties. Most of the team are killed in the most ridiculous ways, such as The Defenestrator reenacting the T-800's death in Terminator 2 and a member named Shakes accidentally grabs a grenade and sprints towards a gas station which blows himself up.
Boomstick: Poor Friendly Fire. During the battle he attempts to blast one of his enemies, but accidentally injures The Defenestrator and blows off his own head, permanently killing him off.
Wiz: The Phantom Stranger later reveals that members of Sector 8 that were killed from the battle were taken to the limbo, a sort of heaven or paradise for forgotten and abandoned DC heroes. Overall, Friendly Fire does have the potential of becoming a great superhero, it's just that his aim sucks.
Friendly Fire: "I gotta do it! Just this once! Gotta hit what I'm aiming at! Can't let my buddies down!"
Red Bee (Jenna Raleigh)[]
Wiz: For our final weird combatant we have Red Bee!
Boomstick: Richard Raleigh was an assistant district attorney that fought Nazis and criminals under the superhero identity of Red Bee.
Wiz: After years of crime fighting he was eventually killed by the Nazi supervillain Baron Blitzkrieg while saving the lives of other superheroes.
Boomstick: Wait... that's it? I mean I guess that's what you get for just using a pistol and a literal pet bee to fight crime, but I kind of expected him to live longer.
Wiz: Even though Richard was killed, the mantle of Red Bee would be pass on to be worn by his grandniece Jenna Raleigh, which is who we will be talking about today.
Boomstick: Alrighty, Jenna would grow up to become a scientist that studied technology and robotics.
Wiz: Then one day an unknown benefactor delivered a mysterious box to her doorstep. Inside would be her great-uncle’s, the original Red Bee's, notes on controlling and communicating with insects.
Boomstick: Insects like bees?
Wiz: Correct! With this research she designed and created robotic bees and an insect-like power armor. Next, she became the next Red Bee and joined Uncle Sam's, yes you heard me right Uncle Sam's, Freedom Fighters.
Boomstick: Red Bee's special suit provides all sorts of weapons and abilities: Enhanced durability, enhanced strength, a mounted jetpack for flight, the helmet provides a communications system and enhanced vision, can fire energy blasts from her hands, and has complete control over a swarm of robotic bees to aid her in her fights.
Wiz: The bees can fly and range in different sizes, up to about 2 feet in length. They can even fire energy blasts from the stingers on their rear.
Boomstick: She would then get a major upgrade after being mutated by alien insects.
Wiz: The Freedom Fighters discovered and investigated an entire alien colony. The group was ambushed and Red Bee ended up being captured in a cocoon. They did rescue her, but the transformation was already complete.
Boomstick: She now has superhuman strength and reflexes, an enhanced sense of smell, and could release special pheromones to take control others and cause people to hallucinate their worst fears. Scarecrow would love this.
Wiz: Her senses and pheromones could cover hundreds of miles. Red Bee's suit has been shown to be resistant to gunfire, her energy blasts can stun enemies, and are strong enough to blow up concrete. With the Freedom Fighters she defeated the shape-shifting and regenerating alien parasite known as Father Time and helped some Freedom Fighter members escape from S.H.A.DE., which is a top-secret U.S. Government organization founded to stop and contain meta-humans.
Boomstick: In her mutant form she was able to destroy Director Robbins, who has physic powers, and she was able to go up against and mind control the entire Freedom Fighters as her slaves.
Wiz: People like Human Bomb, who can generate huge explosions that are strong enough to take out cities, or the Ray, who can turn himself into pure laser light...
Boomstick: Or Uncle Sam whose powers derive from the belief in America! America! Fuck yeah!
Wiz: Now Red Bee's mutant form has some weaknesses: Her mind control is limited at best, her hallucinations could be resisted against and banished if discovered to not be real, and destroying all of the alien insects infesting her body will reverse her mutation back to normal. She was only defeated when the original Ray arrived with special news powers and saved the day.
Boomstick: Overall, Jenna Raleigh is a much better and cooler Red Bee than the original.
Wiz: That I can agree on. I mean really? His arsenal consists of one small bee and a little stinger pistol.
Red Bee: "What's with all the killing talk? When I was a kid, the good guys beat up the bad guys and tossed them in jail."
DEATH BATTLE![]
In the middle of some random unknown city that will shortly be destroyed by 12 superheroes, Mister Mxyzptlk teleports above it in an incredibly bored mood.
Mister Mxyzptlk: Nothing interesting has happened, I need to do something fun or perhaps.... watch something fun hmmmmm.
The fifth dimensional imp finally gets an idea. He snaps his fingers which ends up teleporting all of the 12 combatants to the city. They are all very confused until Mxyzptlk corrupts their minds. He turns them against one another and makes each hero violent, but they do retain their usual personalities.
Mister Mxyzptlk: Now the fun begins!
He creates a lawn chair, puts on some sunglasses, and creates a smoothie. He relaxes as the battle shortly ensues. The Weird creates a physical body for his pure energy form and all the other heroes get into a fighting stance.
FIGHT![]
Friendly Fire charges up a blast from his hands and aims at Stone Boy.
Friendly Fire: Prepare to feel the heat!
Friendly Fire fires an energy bolt that flies throughout the air towards his target. Stone Boy quickly turns into a statue to take the blast, but Friendly Fire's attack misses anyway. The blast instead flies towards Flex Mentallo, who flexes one of his arms to deflect the blast back.
Friendly Fire: Nonononono! Why does this keep happening to me!
The blast hits him in the face, completely obliterating his head into pieces of flesh. Friendly Fire's headless body falls to its knees and then onto its side.
(11/12)
The Weird: You're too dangerous to be left alive!
Flex: Me? What's the problem with flexing these extraordinary muscles? Must be jealous?
The Weird yells out by firing an energy blast that launches the strong man into a building. As he prepares to pursue Red Bee fires her red lasers that knock The Weird into some cars. She then fires a couple more beams that erupts a large explosion on The Weird. Also battling nearby, Odd Man, Stone Boy, and AFOB (Arm-Fall-Off-Boy) are having a 1v1v1 fight.
Odd Man: So what can you do?
AFOB grins as he sticks his arms high into the air.
AFOB: My power will astound you! Observe as I detach my limb, and transform it into a deadly weapon!
Floyd detaches one of his arms and swings it like a club. Odd Man is surprised for a second, he limbos under AFOB's arm club and falls onto his back. He brings both of his legs in and kicks the reject right in the stomach. AFOB stumbles backwards and runs into Stone Boy. AFOB throws two punches with both of arms. However, Stone Boy blocks the attack by turning his head and chest into solid stone, causing his attacker's hands to break on impact. AFOB cries out before getting suplexed by Stone Boy hard enough into the ground to crack the pavement. Floyd lays there in pain.
AFOB: Curse you.
Stone Boy steps on his head crushing it into a pancake.
(10/12)
Odd Man leaps onto Stone Boy's back and throws his arms around his neck for a rear naked choke. Stone Boy quickly transforms into his stone form and pulls the bright colored detective off of his back and swings him towards a car. The vehicle trembles from the impact. Odd Man groans as he sits up.
Stone Boy: No matter what you do you'll never get passed my petrified skin!
Odd Man: Then I guess someone else will have to do that for me.
Odd Man claps his hands together to release a cloud of smoke. Stone Boy sprints into the smoke and throws his rocky fists. He accidentally hits a car onto its side. Odd Man was gone. Stone Boy scratches his head when all of a sudden MEL (Matter-Eater Lad) tackles him. Stone Boy rips off the door of a car and throws it like a frisbee. MEL slides under it and leaps onto Stone Boy. He bites down on the living statue's arm.
Stone Boy: What the hell!
Stone Boy is shocked at his missing arm. MEL then bites into the side of his head, taking out a big chunk. Recording the battle from afar, Ambush Bug throws some popcorn into his mouth.
Ambush Bug: Damn, the writer for this Death Battle is really going to give Stone Boy one hell of a death.
Mister Mxyzptlk: Hey, you're suppose to fight!
Ambush Bug: Aw man can't I film this for a little project on Youtube? I call it DEATH FIGHT! Totally not some ripoff. Besides everyone has an opponent.
The reality warping imp snaps his fingers which teleports the script of the fight into Ambush Bug's hands. He then glances at the script for the battle and after flipping through some pages he finally sees his opponent: Bat-Cow.
Ambush Bug: Finally sees his opponent... Bat-Cow.... WAIT BAT-COW!
Behind him Bat-Cow charges forward with her head down ready to ram him in the back with her horns.
Ambush Bug: Ready to ram him in the back with her horns!
Ambush Bug turns around and teleports out of the way. He folds the script into a small square and puts it away.
Ambush Bug: This'll come in handy.
Ambush Bug then teleports on top of Bat-Cow and attempts to ride the animal.
Ambush Bug: Yee-haw!
Bat-Cow tries to shake the 4th wall-breaker off, but to no prevail. The two end up crashing into several cars, some fire hydrants, and street lamps. Back at the other fights, MEL picks out a small piece of a rock out of his teeth.
Matter-Eater-Lad: Who knew that a living statue could be delicious.
(9/12)
As Matter-Eater-Lad burps, a large ball smacks him through the wall of a grocery store. The ball deflates to reveal itself to be Bouncing Boy, who smiles before jumping into action. Red Bee unleashes a swarm of robotic bees upon The Weird. They fire lasers at him but they don't seem to be that effective. The Weird destroys a couple of them with his bare hands until a white light blinds him. Red Bee changes her gaze at the bright shining light as two voices can suddenly be heard.
Wonder Twins: Wonder Twin powers activate!
Janya: Shape of... a giant green fire breathing gorilla!
Zan: Form of... water tornado!
Janya fires a beams of fire, which blows apart Red Bee's robotic bees. Janya then leaps into the air to grab Red Bee, but she successfully maneuvers around the swings. Red Bee activates her laser cannons and returns fire, blasting the shapeshifting alien in the eyes. Zan as a water tornado crashes into The Weird and spins him around into a building. Zan crashes his watery body onto The Weird, attempting to drown him and hold him under. However, The Weird simply makes himself intangible and phases through Zan to the surface.
Janya: Janya smash!
Janya creates a shockwave by smashing her fists into the ground. Cars flip over as the ground cracks apart, A van flies towards Red Bee, who cuts it clean in half with her lasers. She then flies circles around Janya while also firing her red beams, which cause the giant green gorilla's fur to darken and smoke. Flex Mentallo suddenly returns to the fight after taking an elevator down to the bottom of the building he crashed into. He exits the building to see destruction everywhere. Just then Odd Man ambushes Mentallo. He stumbles around as the clown looking detective lands several hits on him.
Odd Man: Go to sleep big man.
Odd Man aims his knockout spray. However, Flex Mentallo quickly flexes his muscles which causes the knockout spray to explode in Odd Man's hands.
Flex: Your gadgets are inferior when compared to my muscle power!
Flex Mentallo does several heroic poses as Odd Man falls to the ground and slowly goes unconscious from the gas. Flex Mentallo then flexes one of his arms causing Odd Man's head to explode like a balloon.
(8/12)
Flex kisses his arm. MEL flies around Bouncing Boy's attacks as he ricochets off the walls of the store. Bouncing Boy eventually slams into MEL's back and the two crash through several aisles. Outside, Bat-cow and Ambush Bug teleport out of nowhere and crash into car.
Ambush Bug: Eight people left? Come on you writers kill people off faster!
Ambush Bug's wish was granted when Flex Mentallo started flexing his muscles to summon a large blue portal. A giant spaceship flies out of it and crashes onto the city, taking out several buildings with it. Most of the fighters get out of the way either by flight, teleportation, or some other way. Meanwhile, Bat-cow, Red Bee, and Bouncing Boy are caught.
(6/12)
Matter-Eater-Lad eats his way out of the wreckage to see the Wonder Twins shapeshift into another transformation: Janya becomes a sea serpent while her brother floods the surrounding environment.
Matter Eater Lad: I don't mind having a little sushi!
He leaps at Janya with his mouth wide open, but she slaps the Legion of Superheroes member into a metal wall from the alien ship with her tail fin. Ambush Bug teleports to a safe distance from the battle at the spaceship when The Weird suddenly phases from the ground below him with his arms crossed.
Ambush Bug: It's you! The dimensional guardian who goes by the name of The Weird and first appeared in The Weird #1 April 1988.
Weird: This was your fault! You caused this destruction!
Ambush Bug: Wait, I didn't know the writer was actually going to do it.
Ambush Bug sweats and smiles awkwardly when he glances at the viewers/readers.
Weird: Enough of this nonsense!
Weird lifts a truck near him and swings it. Ambush Bug quickly teleports out of the way of the attack.
Ambush Bug: Calm down! If you spare me maybe I can convince DC to bring you back? How does that sound?
The Weird doesn't listen and fires a barrage of energy blasts at the loud mouth who just spams his teleportation. Ambush Bug then teleports above The Weird and takes his back, covering his face as the two fly around erratically.
Ambush Bug: Hey weird guy, sun's getting real low. Get the reference?
Ambush Bug drives his fingers into his opponent's eyes. The Weird yelps for a second until he makes himself intangible, which causes Ambush Bug to fall through him and onto the pavement. The Weird heals his eyes and gazes at Ambush Bug. Ambush Bug's smile quickly disappears when he sees the anger and murderous intent in The Weird thoughts.
Ambush Bug: Alright I'm just gonna head on out of here...
A hand blocks him from leaving.
Flex: Rather than be a coward fight like a man!
A single flex from the muscle man flings Ambush Bug like a pinball at several cars, walls, and street lamps. Ambush Bug then ricochets towards The Weird who sticks his arm out and grabs him by the head. The Weird drains all the energy from Ambush bug's suit, which prevents him from teleporting away. Reading the internal thoughts of his capturer Ambush Bug knew what was going to happen next.
Ambush bug: Why the hell was I chosen for this battle! I'm a reporter not a-
The Weird crushes the jokester's head and it bursts apart like a melon. The Weird drops his body and stares at his next opponent.
(5/12)
Back at the battle near the spaceship wreckage, Red Bee is revealed to be alive and shoots her way out of the ship with her lasers. She looked a little different, more alien-like with her pinkish skin and black eyes.
Red Bee: I'll make you all my slaves!
Red Bee has apparently been mutated. She sticks out her arms and a huge swarm of red bees fly out under her command. Matter-Eater-Lad and the Wonder Twins decide to stop fighting each other and focus on the bigger threat. The Wonder Twins change their form: Janya becomes a flying dragon and Zan becomes an ice golem. Zan tanks the energy blasts from the Red Bee's drones, which chip off some ice from his body. Janya flies around the battlefield, melting down her attackers with her fire breath. Meanwhile, Matter-Eater-Lad also flies up into the air thanks to his flight ring and chomps down on the robotic bees.
Matter-Eater Lad: I don't mind having a little snack.
Suddenly, Red Bee tackles him from behind and runs his head through the ground. Matter-Eater Lad struggles to fight back but calms down when Red Bee's special pheromones are released onto him. The pheromones soon cover the most of surrounding area. Janya accidentally breathes in some causing her to fall under Jenna's control. Except for Zan who is unaffected by the chemical substance thanks to his ice golem form.
Zan: Janya snap out of it!
Zan tries to bring his sister back, but she simply shatters him with some attacks and melts him down into a puddle.
Red Bee: I will colonize the Earth!
They are interrupted when an explosion erupts from The Weird tackling Flex Mentallo to the ground. Mentallo flings The Weird off of him and sends him flying into a fuel truck, which explodes on impact. The Weird appears to be fine as he flies out of the fire. He digs his hands into the road under his feet and lifts a huge part of the ground above him. With ease he tosses it at Flex Mentallo. Mentallo flexes his muscles, blowing apart the large incoming attack.
Red Bee: Get them both.
Red Bee points at the two superheroes, ordering her bees and the superheroes (Janya and Matter-Eater Lad) to attack. By flexing his muscles many of the bees explode. Matter-Eater Lad flies towards The Weird attempting to eating him. The Weird is confused by his attack method and fires a beam of energy into his mouth. Matter-Eater Lad opens his mouth and swallows the beam without much issue. Changing his method of attack, Weird flies up to him and the moment he opens his mouth Weird phases his hand and then solidifies it, creating a hole in the back of Matter-Eater Lad's head and killing him.
(4/12)
Red Bee is shocked at how quickly Matter-Eater Lad went down. She glances at Janya and orders her to attack, but she hesitates.
Red Bee: What's the matter with you!? Attack!
Inside Janya's head her brother telepathically communicates with her. Together the Wonder Twins are able to break free of Red Bee's mind control. Red Bee doesn't realize she had lost control of them until Janya slapped her away like a fly.
Zan: You back sis?
Janya: Yup! Now lets finish this fight with a bang.
Zan and Janya: Wonder Twin powers activate!
Zan: Form of... an ice club.
Janya: Shape of... a cyclops.
Janya wields her brother as a weapon and swings down on Flex, smashing him down in a small crater. Red Bee lifts some rubble off of her. Her suit and its systems damaged. She suddenly detects the presence of someone behind her. Red Bee spins around and fires her beams. The Weird makes himself intangible to allow the beams to fly straight through him.
Red Bee: Stay back whatever you are!
At impressive speeds The Weird tears off Jenna's laser cannons. She attempts to fly away to escape the dimensional being, but to no prevail. The Weird grabs her by the feet and brings the mutant superhero close to him. Then he absorbs all the energy from her suit.
Red Bee: No you can't do this!
Weird: I just did.
When her suit is all drained of its energy, The Weird snaps Red Bee's neck. He flies away to battle the other remaining combatants.
(3/12)
Flex Mentallo ducks under Zan when Janya swings him. Mentallo jumps up and uppercuts Janya in her large, single cyclops eye. She trips and falls back, knocking several trees down and crushing a fountain from her weight. Janya sits backs up and swings her brother vertically to slice Mentallo in half. However, Mentallo catches him between the palm of his hands. By applying some pressure Zan begins to crack. Mentallo lets out a war-cry and twists his hands causing Zan to snap and shatter into pieces.
Janya: Zan NO!
Mentallo flexes his biceps, which flings all the sharp ice pieces right at Janya. She lets out a cry of pain before falling to the ground bloody and dead.
(2/12)
The Weird observes all the mess he and the other superheroes caused from their battles. By putting his hands together he fires a powerful beam of energy. Flex Mentallo notices this attack and summons a forcefield with the words "Hero of the Beach" written over it to block the beam. Weird thrusts his hands into the ground and by affecting its density he rapidly hurls pieces of concrete and dirt. Mentallo destroys the pieces by flexing his biceps, but one of them manages to get pass and smashes against Mentallo's face. Mentallo staggers a bit and quickly gets into a battle stance when he sees the Weird flying straight at him with his fists forward. The strongman catches it and the two push against one another.
Flex: You're outmatched by my superior strength!
Weird: How about now.
The Weird alters the density of his body, increasing his strength and allowing him to overpower Mentallo. He lifts him into the air and spins Mentallo like a tornado to send him flying before blasting him with energy across the street. Mentallo's body is bruised and smoke flies off of him. He spits out a small drop of blood as he gets up.
Flex: Lets see how well you do when you can't see me.
He flexes and clouds Weird's perception, which allows him to not be visible by his opponent.
Weird: Where did you go!?
Suddenly, someone strikes him in the stomach. Weird swings his arms around to hit nothing. He attempts to fly up to get a better view but an invisible being slams him back into the dirt. He gets thrown in a headlock by the invisible being who reveals himself to be Mentallo.
Weird: You can turn invisible?
Flex: Something like that.
He disappears again and throws several punches at the Weird. Weird yells out and unleashes a blast of energy from his body, which knocks Mentallo off of him and out of his invisibility. Weird then grabs Mentallo by the head and begins controlling his brainwaves to give him crazy unexplainable hallucinations. At the same time Mentallo flexes a muscle to give his opponent images of god and new random ideas like an improved pencil or gaming setup.
Weird and Flex: What in the world is happening!
They both stop and try to regather their thoughts and comprehend of what just happened. Then, Mentallo uses his muscle mystery to see into the future. Weird attempts to interrupt him but suddenly tries to fight back a strange sensation within him, which forces him onto his knees.
Weird: What is this... feeling?
Flex: I may have accidentally flexed the wrong area...
Mentallo then continues to glimpse into the future. He ignores certain events and eventually comes to a stop when he sees the Weird growing in size as energy is absorbed into him causing him to self-destruct. Mentallo stops flexing to bring himself back to the present as well as freeing Weird from the sensation.
Flex: You are one formidable opponent, but I now know your weakness!
Weird: My weakness? NO, YOU CA-
Mentallo didn't listen and flexed his muscles as hard as he can, affecting his surrounding environment and creating an overall bigger mess. Buildings started to twist like a snake, people began hallucinating about random things, and nearby objects explode into pieces. Mentallo forces anything containing electrical energy into Weird's body causing him to absorb it all. Weird begins to grow grotesquely and expanding like a balloon. He glows with yellow and blue energy like a large lightbulb. Meanwhile, Mentallo does a victory pose.
Weird: YOU FOOL! YOU UNDERESTIMATED THE EXPLO-
Weird bursts apart, unleashing a massive explosion that instantly eradicated everything caught in the blast radius, which was basically half of the planet. Mister Mxyzptlk, who was still spectating the battle, just simply took the explosion and acted like it was nothing. After several minutes pass, the reality warping imp teleports into the center of the crater. He grows his head and blows all the smoke away to reveal the last remaining combatant... The Weird.
Mister Mxyzptlk: Congratulations Weird! You've won the battle royale. Here's a medal.
By snapping his fingers a golden medal poofed out of thin air around Weird's neck.
Mister Mxyzptlk: Now if you excuse me I need to find a different activity to keep myself entertained.
In the blink of an eye Mister Mxyzptlk teleported away, leaving Weird to stand confused amidst of all the destruction he caused.
KO!
Results[]
Boomstick: Well that was a long and crazy battle wasn't it Wiz?
Wiz: Definitely, now let's explain the losers and the victor starting with Friendly Fire.
Boomstick: Friendly Fire might've lasted longer considering his energy bolts are quite powerful, but his aim is terrible! He has never hit any of his targets and even managed to somehow kill himself in the end! How in the world does that happen!?
Wiz: Next we have Arm-Fall-Off-Boy, who should be pretty explanatory on why he is one of the first to die. His powers and abilities are extremely useless.... Like detachable arms? He isn't going to get far with that, especially against the other superheroes.
Boomstick: The next two are Bat-Cow and Odd Man. Bat-Cow is a literal normal cow so there isn't really a lot to talk about. Odd Man on the other hand doesn't have any powers and is sort of like Batman in which they are both normal human beings that rely on their wits and gadgets.
Wiz: He does have some pretty notable feats like taking down two supervillains on his first mission and defeating Onomatopoeia. However, these still don't compare to what Flex Mentallo, The Weird, and the Wonder Twins have done.
Boomstick: Following we have Statue Guy, Bouncy Ball Boy, and the Teleporting Insect.
Wiz: Uh huh. Stone Boy's special ability allows him to turn into an unmovable statue and while it does make a good defensive tactic, it will only get him so far.
Boomstick: Too bad some of the combatants have super strength that should allow them to easily shatter him to pieces or like Matter-Eater-Lad, simply eat him to death.
Wiz: Then we have Ambush Bug who is only really good at escaping his enemies via teleportation, annoying them, and breaking the fourth wall. He lacks in the other categories.
Boomstick: Another wall breaker down so wonderful.
Wiz: Bouncing Boy is pretty smart and is unpredictable thanks to his bouncy ball like form, but that isn't enough to take him to the top.
Boomstick: Now we are at the top five where the strongest and deadliest combatants reign supreme of all the others!
Wiz: Matter-Eater-Lad is a deadly opponent, capable of just about eating anything at incredible speeds. However, everyone else sort of outhaxed and outranged him.
Boomstick: Nearly at the end we have Red Bee and the Wonder Twins. Now normal Red Bee is an ok fighter, but her mutant form is where she becomes a threat.
Wiz: Red Bee's mutant form increases her overall stats and gives her special pheromones that allowed her to control most of the Freedom Fighters! Only problem is that it is possible to resist it especially superheroes like the Wonder Twins and Flex Mentallo who have a defense against it. You also have the Weird who can easily absorb all the energy from her tech.
Boomstick: The Wonder Twins are actually pretty darn powerful considering Janya can transform into just about any creature and Zan can become any body of water.
Wiz: They do have their flaws though. They have to yell out what their transformations will be and can only activate their powers through physical touch so taking out one of them or keeping them separated would be their downfall.
Boomstick: We're finally at Flex Mentallo versus the Weird!
Wiz: This was a pretty tough answer to solve as both characters are surprisingly powerful and it is possible that it could go either way. Flex Mentallo can change the world around him by precisely flexing specific muscles and Weird is an energy manipulating being that might be even above the JLA itself. Between these two we decided to give Weird the win.
Boomstick: The Weird was shown to be much stronger, capable of fighting and knocking beings like Captain Atom, Martian Manhunter, Doctor Fate, and even Superman with his physical attacks. Not to mention he can increase his strength by affecting his density or even others' density to move things around easier, which is what he did to move an island sized rock to the surface of the ocean!
Wiz: Weird is also faster as he was able to keep up with Superman in their fight. He can also become intangible which makes him much trickier to fight.
Boomstick: And the Weird can simply rebuild his entire body if it was ever destroyed. This is especially useful when he unleashes a planetary self destruction!
Wiz: A self destruction that can create an explosion strong enough to wipe out Synnar, an overpowered cosmic tyrant with godlike powers. Looks like the winner is the Weird!
Next Time![]
