| Crona VS Carnage | |
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| Season 1, Episode 1 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | November 6th, 2015 |
| Written by | NocturnBros |
| Directed by | NocturnBros |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| N/A | Lord Raptor VS Eddie the Head |
Description[]
Marvel's local psycho VS Soul Eater's mad monster! Who's got the most powerful symbiote?
Introduction[]
Brain: Sometimes, our darkest side manifests itself when we lose control of our very soul.
Nocturn: Or when you get possessed by a freaky symbiotic parasite... You know, normal stuff!
Brain: These two psychopaths are about to put up a really vicious fight...
Nocturn: Crona, Child of Medusa and wielder of Ragnarok
Brain: And Cletus Kasady, also known as Carnage
Nocturn: I'm Nocturn and he's Brain...
Brain: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
Crona[]
(*Cues: Crona's Theme*)
Nocturn: Crona Gorgon is the son of Medusa Gorgon, a powerful witch that wanted to revive the Kishin Asura, a powerful demon addicted to destruction.
Brain: Actually, Crona's gender has never been confirmed by the author, so we shouldn't use gender-specific pronouns when talking about them.
Nocturn: Talk about complicated stuff... Was it that difficult to confirm their genitals? They're probably the worst nightmare of any Rule 63 artist.
Brain: Anyway, Crona's past is shrouded in mystery, but there are some things clear. They were infused with Black Blood at a young age to turn him into an unstoppable killing machine.
Nocturn: Medusa treated Crona like what they are: a living weapon, a mere item. And I complained beacuse my mother didn't let me stay up late! What a nice mom!
Brain: Crona's Black Blood gives them a vast array of attacks and weapons, the most important one being his Demon Sword, Ragnarok.
Nocturn: Ragnarok is a shapeshifting living sword that has Crona grabbed by the balls- er, lemme change that. Ragnarok is pretty dominant with Crona, giving them noogies and lifting their tunic just to mess with them.
Brain: But being an asshole isn't Ragnarok's only ability, it can extend and shrink according to its needs. It can also harden Crona's blood as a defense mechanism.
Nocturn: Crona's Blood can also do a bunch of other nifty things, like extending in a fashion similar to spikes with a technique called Bloody Needle.
Brain: These needles act almost immediately after Crona gets their blood spilled, so they can purposely cut themselves to form blades and lances.
Nocturn: The Black Blood can also turn into armor for Crona, called the Bloody Coat.
Brain: But that's not all, Crona can also summon Thorn Vectors, really powerful tentacles that they inherited from their dear mommy.
Nocturn: To add to their arsenal, Ragnarok can also merge its soul with Crona's and unleash powerful attacks, such as the Mad Dragon, that empowers all of Crona's previously named moves, and their powerful trump card, the Screech Alpha, Beta, Gamma and Delta: powerful slashes that immobilize the target with a loud screech.
Brain: Crona's abilities and mastery of swordplay have proven useful many times in and out of battle.
Nocturn: They're able to resist Witch Hunter attacks from Soul Eater, which were created to exterminate Crona's race.
Brain: They've been able to keep up with Maka Albarn, Franken Stein and even Black*Star in battle. They were able of even killing Medusa Gorgon and Tsar Pushka.
Nocturn: Welp, looks like they got their revenge on mommy...
Brain: Their body is so hard that it can be compared to lead, so it would take more than a gun or a knife to take this sucker out.
Nocturn: And even though they look like they're more brain than brawn, Crona is strong enough to pull down the Moon's tooth with their vectors! How the heck does that even work?
Brain: And although we're making them sound very overpowered, they have a couple of weaknesses.
Nocturn: They're very naïve, and not very smart, plus, the only thing that drives them to battle is their insanity.
Brain: As such, their soul is very vulnerable to emotions and other people's Soul Wavelength.
Nocturn: And although they have kept up with plenty of powerful warriors, most of their matches ended in their defeat.
Brain: Ultimately, Crona's body and soul were assimilated by the Kishin, thus, killing them for good.
Nocturn: Also, even though this isn't important towards the battle, but their Soul Wavelength of Insanity caused most of Spartoi's warriors an obsession with boobs... 'Nuff said.
Crona: Having faith in other people? Trusting someone not to hurt you? How idiotic is that!?
Carnage[]
(Cues: Maximum Carnage Theme (Juggalo972 Mix))
Brain: Cletus Kasady had a rather... dark childhood...
Nocturn: And by that, we mean that even as a kid, he was fucking insane! This little bastard killed his grandmother and tortured his dog!
Brain: Those despicable acts were probably caused because he inherited his father's craziness. Daddy Kasady killed Cletus' mom and went to jail without even asking questions.
Nocturn: After that, Cletus was sent to an orphanage, where, of course, he was bullied to the point of driving him EVEN MORE CRAZY!
Brain: No, seriously, he asked a classmate on a date and was turned down. What did he do? Eat a bowl of ice cream? NOPE! He pushed the bitch in front of a bus and then he burnt down the entire orphanage!
Nocturn: Now, THAT'S angsty! Moving on. Cletus kept on being an asshole to the world and ended up in jail as well, just like daddy!
Brain: But there, his life was changed when he found a strange parasite, the offspring of his partner's Symbiote, Venom. This mysterious parasite entered Cletus' bloodstream through an open wound and turned him into the monster that we all know and love... CARNAGE!
Nocturn: Or you know, you can summarize it by saying Marvel needed to sell more toys and created another Spider-Man palette swap.
Brain: Wrong. Carnage is far from a Spider-Man palette swap. Just like the other symbiotes, Carnage can extend his body and use it as webbing. He can also alter the symbiote's biomass to turn his limbs into weapons like axes, spears, among others.
Nocturn: The symbiote also gives him enormous strength, with his maximum lifting strength being estimated to be over 80 tons!
Brain: It can also absorb more biomass to become harder, better, faster and stronger.
Nocturn: Carnage's speed and stamina are also nothing to be taken lightly. He can attack so quickly that he could turn Deadpool into a mound of blood and guts before he could even do anything.
Brain: He can also attach to walls, just like Spider-Man, and it's possible that his fingers are even more adhesive than the crimson vigilante's, as he can easily separate Spider-Man from another wall while anchoring himself to one!
Nocturn: The symbiote doesn't even require Carnage to be paying attention to the fight and it can still beat Venom and Spider-Man!
Brain: Carnage's symbiote can take plenty of punishment without a single scratch, just like the time when it tanked Iron Man's blasts from multiple weapons and got up just fine, or when a FUCKING GRENADE EXPLODED IN HIS MOUTH and survived it like it was nothing!
Nocturn: Carnage has been proven time and time again to be one of Spider-Man's most powerful foes, and since his symbiote is the spawn of Venom, that makes it more powerful than the original by genetics!
Brain: Carnage has quite the list of feats, not just the ones we've mentioned in the previous section. His claws can easily tear through reinforced steel like a knife through pancakes.
Nocturn: Carnage uses his great strength to his advantage, as he likes to throw vehicles around as a ranged weapon. Talk about firepower.
Brain: His healing factor can save him from almost every wound, including getting his neck snapped, being decapitated, getting electrocuted, getting blasted by a powerful Super Sonic Gun, and the list goes on!
Nocturn: But wait, there's more! His reflexes are so freaking fast that not even the Spider-Sense can predict his attacks! That makes him one of the quickest fighters in Marvel's history!
Brain: Even though he's pretty damn powerful, Carnage is not without faults. His most noticeable weakness is that the symbiote will separate from its host if it's subjected to loud noises or powerful soundwaves.
Nocturn: Or, you know, Dubstep. That's something we have in common. Please, keep that filthy dubstep away from me.
Brain: His other weakness is his insanity, which can also be helpful against some foes, but that's unlikely since a true warrior can keep its cool in the middle of a fight.
Nocturn: And clearly, this guy has more anger than anything I've ever seen. What if he became a Red Lantern? I don't think I want to know...
Brain: And as another irrelevant fact, Carnage can also travel from computer to computer through the internet!
Nocturn: The fuck!? If I had that power, I know some people that would get a nice Nocturn-Punch to the face!
Carnage: We're gonna paint the whole damn world red!
Battle[]
A red car is seen cruising down the road, piloted by a tall and ginger man. The man is listening to a radio program.
Radio announcer: Rumours have been spreading about a haunted cathedral filled with treasure...
The man draws his attention to the program as soon as the announcer mentions the treasure, and he thinks to himself...
Cletus: If I got that treasure, I would be able to get new weapons to kill that Spider-Man once and for all!
He violently spins the wheel of his car, alerting the nearby drivers and pedestrians, and making a U-Turn towards an old town that can be seen in the distance.
(Cues: Queen of Rose - BlazBlue)
Thirty minutes later, the ginger man arrives in the old town. Most of its inhabitants are about seventy years old, and there is a gloomy atmosphere. The man, Cletus, doesn't seem to care about this, as he has his mindset on the promise of gold and jewels.
He finds a huge cathedral with beautiful stained glasses and a crucifix that had been vandalized by some teenagers. Cletus opens the door to find a mysterious teenager fighting with a priest. Cletus watches silently, waiting for the young human to finish off the weakened priest.
Priest: The Lord shall not forgive your actions, you unholy monster!
Crona: Why would I want anyone to forgive me? I'm already a lost cause!
The pink-haired, androgynous teenager impales the priest with their broadsword.
Ragnarok: Good job, Crona, now I get to have a snack!
A blue ball emerges from the priest's corpse, and a black monster appears from Crona's back. The black beast grabs the blue ball and eats it.
Ragnarok: Priest's souls taste like butterscotch, I love them! They're so pure!
Cletus glares menacingly at the teenager and their black monster. They finally notice Cletus' presence and point. Crona transforms their monster into a sword and points at the ginger man with it.
Crona: Are you just gonna stand there?
Cletus seems astonished. He accidentally enters the cathedral and the door closes by itself.
Cletus: So this place IS haunted after all!
Crona: H-hey, I just asked you a question!
Cletus: Shut up, you brat! A kid your age shouldn't be using a sword that big!
Crona seems upset at Cletus' response. They decide to attack him with a strange thorned tentacle.
Crona: Don't tell me to shut up! You're the one that's meddling!
Cletus sees the attack coming and summons a weird mass colored red and black.
Cletus: CARNAGE!
The strange mass quickly covers Cletus' body and he moves his hand quick enough to grab Crona's vector. Crona seems scared after seeing what his foe is capable of.
Crona: W-who are you!?
Cletus: Why, your friendly neighborhood Carnage-Man!
Both of the fighters go on guard and stare at each other's eyes.
FIGHT!
(Cues: Soul Eater - Krieg)
Both combatants charge into each other. Carnage quickly slashes Crona's chest two times and throws them into the cathedral's altar. Crona quickly recovers and delivers a flying attack into Carnage's arms, briefly stunning him. They take advantage of his opening and slash Carnage three times. Carnage grabs Cronas sword and dropkicks Crona, throwing him across the room. He continues his offensive by shooting his webbing at Crona. The attack traps Crona, and they get pulled into Carnage's claws, but the attack is unable of piercing the teenager's chest.
Carnage: WHAT!?
Crona thinks quickly and slits their own wrists, splashing several drops of blood, that instantly transform into needles and pierce Carnage's body.
Crona: Gotcha!
Carnage's wounds regenerate quickly and leaps away from Crona. He throws a giant axe made out of his own biomass at Crona. Crona summons the Black Blood and turns it into armor. Crona: Bloody coat! Crona is unaffected by Carnage's projectile, but they are attacked by surprise from behind. The attack manages to cut one of Crona's blood vessels, but the drops of blood react instantly again. Carnage covers himself and punches Crona in the face. Crona falls into the floor and waves his wound to summon a giant blade. The blade approaches Carnage quickly, but he manages to avoid it... sort of. The attack amputates his right arm and leaves him screaming. Crona gets up and prepares a new attack.
Crona: Ragnarok! Soul Resonance! Screech Alpha!
A big, goofy mouth appears in the sword's hilt and lets out a loud scream. This alerts Cletus' symbiote, that separates from him for a brief period of time.
Cletus: STOP THAT!
Crona slashes Cletus' chest, but as soon as the screech stops, the symbiote comes back to Cletus' body, preventing the wound to go deeper. Carnage grabs Crona's sword and throws it into the other side of the room to stall for time. Carnage quickly leaps towards into the upper floor of the cathedral and lifts the pipe organ. Crona uses their vectors to grab Ragnarok. Carnage throws the gigantic musical instrument into the pink-haired teenager, but they grab it in the last moment with their vectors. Carnage pounces into the organ claws first, breaking through it and impaling Crona through the stomach. The organ falls into the floor as Crona releases their vectors. Crona falls and Carnage laughs. The laughs get louder as Crona starts laughing along.
Carnage: Why the hell are you laughing, you masochistic freak?
Crona: You haven't noticed yet? I'M ABOUT TO DESTROY YOU!
Carnage: Bah, what are you talking about?
Crona: Soul Resonance! Mad Dragon!
A dark aura surrounds Crona, and they proceed to slash Carnage multiple times. Carnage tries to counterattack, but his attack makes Crona's blood spill like a waterfall, making dozens of spikes that pierce Carnage's body instantly. Crona: It's over! Screech Delta! Ragnarok screams again, causing the symbiote to flee. Crona sees the huge opening and stabs Cletus multiple times, then follows up with several slashes and impales him in the chest. Cletus falls to the floor, completely lifeless. His soul can be seen emerging from his body, but the symbiote merges with Cletus' soul, making it even bigger. Before Carnage's soul can do anything, Ragnarok extends his jaws and devours it.
K.O!
Crona stares into the bloody mess that is left of Cletus, with a huge grin on their face.
Results[]
(Cues: Paper Moon (Instrumental))
Nocturn: Well, that was bloody...
Brain: Even though Carnage's strength was superior to Crona's, he was lucky we even made a scratch on their body.
Nocturn: Crona's Bloody Needle ability gave them a huge advantage, as it is like an instant counter.
Brain: Carnage was able to block the counters a couple of times thanks to his reflexes, but there were too many needles for him to dodge.
Nocturn: In addition to that, Crona's fighting style is a lot more unpredictable and varied, while Carnage's arsenal is relatively small. Plus, one of his stronger attacks lets him use Carnage's weakness, giving him even more of an advantage.
Brain: In the end, Crona's higher destructive capabilities and impressive resistance were enough to survive Carnage's onslaught.
Nocturn: Looks like Crona is the SOUL survivor of this fight!
Brain: The winner is Crona Gorgon.
