Description[]
The internet can be scary sometimes. Creepypastas are some of the scariest stories ever told, but who will win out of all these monstrosities that give us nightmares to this day?
Disclaimer[]
Warning: The following video contains scenes of violence and jumpscares and may frighten younger viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.
Interlude[]
Wiz: Creepypastas. The scariest stories ever told on the internet.
Boomstick: These monsters are sure to give you nightmares.
Wiz: Slenderman, the eyeless, unknown entity that lurks in Slender Woods, Jeff the Killer, the deformed serial killer, The Rake, the mysterious dog like beast, B.O.B (Brutal Obscene Beast), the armless monster, and Smile Dog, the scariest dog in history.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who will win a Death Battle.
Slenderman[]
Wiz: Deep in a mysterious forest with an ambiguous past lives a creature whose very name brings chills to all who hear it: Slenderman.
Boomstick: His face is, like totally blank.
Wiz: Don't underestimate Slenderman, Boomstick. He can kill you if you look at him for too long.
Boomstick: Don't look. Got it.
Wiz: It won't be easy. Slenderman can teleport, giving you no warning.
Boomstick: BOO!
Wiz: Kind of like that.
Boomstick: OK.
Wiz: He is a manifestation of demonic energy, in an odd, human-like form. He roams the Slender Woods, in hopes of killing anyone who goes in there.
Boomstick: If I were to make a list of top 10 places to stay the HELL away from, I think I would put Slender Woods as number 1.
Wiz: That would be a perfect decision, Boomstick. Slenderman gets more fervent in his chase as you collect more pages.
Boomstick: Why did he put them everywhere in the first place? Does he have a diary or something?
Wiz: Slenderman also has tentacles on his back, which he can use either to attack or to intimidate. He also has an ability called the Slender Sickness that activates simply by looking at him. It causes paranoia, nausea, and fuzzy vision.
Boomstick: I'm intimidated as Hell right now.
Wiz: He is extremely intelligent, stalking his prey and waiting for the time to strike
Boomstick: Well that sounds pretty goddamn terrifying to me.
Wiz: Not only that, but some people actively try to seek out Slenderman.
Boomstick: WHAT?! Why would we want to get haunted by a faceless motherfucker in a Men in Black suit again and again and again?!
Wiz: I don't really know. It's best not to go near him. Ever
Boomstick: Thank you for warning me.
Slenderman: You most certainly will die
Jeff the Killer[]
Wiz: For Jeff the Killer we will be using the Jeffery Keaton incarnation found in the audio dramas made by Youtuber MrBettyKrueger, as it is by far the deadliest form of Jeff, and one with an actual canon
Boomstick: Jeff and his brother David moved into a new town with their mother. It was an...unhappy household to say the least. And to top it all off, Jeff was struggling with mental problems, seeing an imaginary person he called "The Killer". Don't you just love imaginary friends?
Wiz: When the two teenagers went to school, they immediately go in trouble, and pissed off a bully.
Boomstick: Said bully later attacked Jeff and David at a bus stop, but the bullies were beat mercilessly at the hands of Jeff
Wiz: About a week later at a birthday party, Jeff was attacked by the bullies and his face was turned into.... a joker rip off
Boomstick: Jeff than went crazy, killed his mother, then ran off with David
Wiz: However, Jeff was caught and sent to Fergusons Asylum.
Boomstick: At this asylum he met a nurse who injected him with a syrum that gave him the power to heal from anything
Wiz: After escaping from the asylum, he headed to the town that had driven him mad and burned it to the ground, at the expense of his own life
Boomstick: His weapon of choice is a kitchen knife, which he has killed A LOT of people with. He is also extremely accurate when throwing the knife.
Wiz: His healing factor has helped him survive stabs and gunshot wounds. However if there isn't enough of him to regenerate from, he will die. This is how Jane the Killer(his sister)was able to kill him.
Boomstick: He is completely nuts. He isn't paranoid or scared of anything, not even the Slenderman.
Wiz: He has plenty of killing experience, has fought Ticci-Toby, the Five Nights at Freddy's animatronics, dozens of armed guards(with Toby's help) and Jane the Killer.
Boomstick: He lost to his sister Jane and his healing factor has limits. He also isn't the best strategist. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't run like hell if you see his face in an alley
Jeff: GO TO SLEEP
The Rake[]
Wiz: I don't even have an introduction for this thing...
Boomstick: OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!?!?!?!?!?
Wiz: That... thing is the Rake, a monster who feeds on human flesh
Boomstick: I think I'm gonna buy an extra shotgun...
Wiz: The Rake has history dating back hundreds of years, so it's clearly immortal. Or just has a ridiculously long lifespan. It stalks people in a similar manner to Slenderman.
Boomstick: It has sharp claws, and when provoked reveals hundreds of razor sharp teeth. It is also really good at chasing his victims
Wiz: It has CENTURIES of killing experience. It's claws and teeth can tear straight through human flesh.
Boomstick: There really isn't that much more to say about this horrifying killing machine
The Rake kills someone
B.O.B (Brutal Obscene Beast)[]
Wiz: Brutal Obscene Beast, A.K.A B.O.B is an armless humanoid monster.
Boomstick: He may be a beast, but he's obscene. Ha ha! Look at him!
Wiz: The creature originated from a creepypasta about a guy who went out for a late-night jog. He spotted a a person limping in the distance. As he went to help the person, he noticed its grey skin and lack of arms and clothing.
Boomstick: I am never jogging again.
Wiz: You never did! Anyway, he ran away from the weasing monster, hoping it wouldn't follow him home. Unfortunately, it did, because the next day, he saw the creature outside his house, standing over his dog. The creature grinned at the dog before urinating on him.
Boomstick: EW!
Wiz: The urine left the creature smelling of sulphur.
Boomstick: He took his dog to the vet some time later. When he got home, he saw the creature waiting for him outside the house. He tried to run it down, but the creature jumped over his car and sprinted into the woods.
Wiz: The DeviantART member russias-crazy-fangir posted a follow up of the story.
Boomstick: Kind of like a remake.
Wiz: In it, the person, now known as Andrew is attacked in his house. The creature is described as '...strangely more agile than it looks, especially considered how clumsily it runs away.' He hits B.O.B in the chest with a titanium baseball bat, but is kicked in the chest shortly afterwards. B.O.B then breaks his shin, shoves its foot into his stomach and tore apart his incapacitated body with its jaws, using the foot lodged in his stomach to support itself, eating what it took and then leaving once it had ate its full.
Boomstick: Dick move, Andy. Dick move. B.O.B may be obscene, but he's a beast.
Smile Dog[]
Wiz: Smile.jpg is the image of a sinister-looking dog with human teeth.
Boomstick: What the fuck?
Wiz: That sounds scary enough, but the sight of him drives those who see him mad with fits of anxiety. He can bite and scratch at you just like a normal dog, and is most likely more intelligent than a normal dog. Dogs can hear 4 times better than humans, so he can hear attackers approaching him quite easily.
Boomstick: *Whimpers*
Wiz: Even more senseless, he asks a person to spread the word of his existence.
Boomstick: Aw, Hell no!
Wiz: If they don't, the image changes into something more horrific and will cause endless nightmares until the victim is driven to suicide.
Boomstick: That's it. I'm gonna have nightmares.
Wiz: I knew you would. In fact, some even say this Creepypasta began with the image of Satan himself.
Boomstick: A CREEPYPASTA STARTING WITH AN IMAGE OF THE DEVIL?! Definitely not a creepypasta to read when you're about to go to bed, cause you'll wet it.
Smile: SPREAD THE WORD
DEATH BATTLE![]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, it's time to end this debate once and for all
Boomstick: IT"S TIME FOR A DEATH BAATLE!
All of the Pasta Monsters are standing in Slender Forest. Jeff gets out his knife
Jeff: This is gonna be fun...
Slenderman: You most certainly will die
Smile Dog: SPREAD THE WORD
Rake: Flesh...need..flesh
B.O.B:...
Announcer: FIGHT!
Jeff and Smile Dog immediately being to fight, Jeff not being phased by the demonic look of the dog. Smile Dog bites Jeff, but it quickly heals, and Jeff kills Smile
Jeff: GO TO SLEEP
The Rake and BOB are fighting. Due to his lack of arms, BOB is having trouble fighting off the Rake. Rake leaps on top of BOB and begins to tear him apart with his claws and teeth. Slenderman then attacks the Rake, and impales him with his tentacles. Slendy then throws Rake into a tree. Jeff runs up to the Rake
Jeff: GO TO SLEEP
Jeff mercilessly stabs the Rake until he dies
Jeff: What's wrong you Slender motherfucker? Did I steal your kill?
Slenderman and Jeff the Killer begin to make their way towards each other. Jeff slashes at Slendy and he teleports away. Slendy knocks Jeff into a tree.
Jeff: You stupid fucking shit! I'm gonna make you eat your own GUTS!
Slenderman says nothing and teleports behind Jeff and impales him multiple times
Jeff: ARRRGG!
Slenderman then twists Jeff's head off
KO!
Results[]
Boomstick: That was gory. I loved it!
Wiz: Even with his healing factor, Jeff is killable. He has never been shown to be able to grow entire body parts with it.
Boomstick: Jeff isn't really afraid of anything, meaning Smile Dog was out of the picture. BOB doesn't have any arms so him attacking would be difficult. Slenderman would likely be able to kill the Rake. Looks like Slenderman was 2spooky4Jeff
Wiz: The winner is Slenderman