A wish came true... A dream became a reality...
This is set to become an actual episode of Death Battle. Check out the Death Battle Wiki's page for it here.
| Oh, just one more thing… | |
|---|---|
| Season | 2 |
| Season Episode | 4 |
| Air date | Some day… |
| Written by | Cheesypickles564 |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Old Man Logan vs The Last Ronin |
Next Kittan vs Yamcha |
Columbo vs Light Yagami is a What-If? Death Battle written by Cheesypickles564, featuring Lieutenant Columbo from the television series Columbo and Light Yagami from the anime/manga Death Note.
Description[]
Columbo vs Death Note. It’s a tale as old as time, the detective engaged with the criminal in a game of cat-and-mouse. Who will have the wits to win this race against time? Will Columbo’s name be written down, or will Light fail to cover up the evidence?
Interlude[]
Puppy: Lieutenant Columbo, the cigar-smoking detective with a knack for solving cases.
Kitty: And Light Yagami, the prodigious owner of the Death Note!
Puppy: It’s a tale as old as time; cat-and-mouse, cops-vs-robbers…
Kitty: So what’ll happen when we put the smartest detective against the smartest criminal? He’s Puppy and I’m Kitty!
Puppy: And it’s our job to analyze their cunning, wits and overall intelligence to find out who would win a Death Battle…er, a “Death Case.”
“Columbo is Hot on The Case in Death Battle!”[]
(Cue: Prescription: Murder)
Puppy: Picture this: the streets of Los Angeles run rampant with crime. Twisted killings and excessive violence are abundant. In short, the city was nowhere near safe.
Kitty: But LA’s knight in shining armor would come in the form of Lieutenant Columbo, a cigar-smoking, poorly dressed but amazingly intelligent detective!
Puppy: However, growing up, Columbo wasn’t a model child—in fact, he was the complete opposite. He ran with a crowd of boys every day and smashed windows and street lamps all while praising Joe DiMaggio as their idol.
Kitty: After fighting in the Korean War, Columbo later joined the police force to supposedly make up for his actions, and despite not being as tough or smart as everyone in the force, his quick wit allowed him to rise to the top. He also got himself a wife! He’s far more successful than my friend here.
Puppy: Likewise, you brain-lacking crumb. From that point, Columbo became the police force’s greatest detective, as he could solve cases with ease!
Kitty: Columbo’s main strength lies in his mind, as expected. He doesn’t carry a gun and instead fights with mere wits alone.
Puppy: Seemingly a dim witted, shabbily dressed and overly polite detective with no business in the world of crime, Columbo’s method of solving cases is nothing short of ingenious; using his suspect’s egos to break them.
Kitty: He’s also smart enough to easily piece together multiple, completely unrelated clues to track down the murderer and surprise them with how much of a threat he actually is to their whole agenda!
Puppy: His laidback personality is also a key part to his strategies. He makes his suspects believe they’re above the law and able to easily fool him, when in reality, he’s a brilliant, eagle-eyed detective who’s got their whole scheme tumbling down from within.
Kitty: But whenever he’s reached his limit, he’s also able to magically warp his opponent to a pocket realm called the Columbo Dimension—
Puppy: No. Where the hell are you getting this stuff?
Kitty: I don’t know, I’m just saying it as I go!
Puppy: Typical… Columbo also speaks multiple languages, including Italian, Spanish and even Latin.
Kitty: …I’m pretty sure nobody speaks Latin anyways. All of this has earned Columbo an impressive IQ of 190!
Puppy: He’s capable of solving the most difficult cases with relative ease, like when he managed to trap a murderer with no concrete proof, just his skills in deduction and manipulation.
Kitty: He’s even managed to capture a diplomat who had his entire life story sheltered and kept a secret in a matter of hours!
Puppy: But even with his amazing intelligence, Columbo still has faults. He’s been thrown on the verge of a breakdown when he couldn’t solve a case, and his strategy is prone to failing if someone can figure it out.
Kitty: But even then, he’s still a formidable opponent and an even better detective. Go Columbo!
Lieutenant Columbo: “Perfect murder, sir? Oh, I'm sorry. There's no such thing as a perfect murder. That's just an illusion."
“Light Yagami Becomes the God of Death Battle!”[]
(Cue: Death Note Theme)
Puppy: Shinigami are monsters in Japanese myth that lure their victims to their death, which is sometimes a good thing and sometimes a bad thing. They are the grim reapers of the East, and they kill only to extend their lifespans.
Kitty: But we’re focusing on Ryuk, a Shinigami who looks weirdly like Gene Simmons… wanting to toy with humanity, Ryuk dropped a notebook from his realm and into Earth, landing in the hands of Light Yagami, an egocentric prodigy.
Puppy: This notebook was the Death Note, a mysterious book that, when you write the name of a person down, that person dies. Light decided to take this book and use it to cleanse the world of crime!
Kitty: While powerful, the Death Note also has multiple rules. If a cause of death isn’t written, then the victim will die of a heart attack. It’s also made useless if an alias is written down or if a name is misspelled four times.
Puppy: But there’s also power that comes with it. Whoever is in possession of the Death Note has command over Ryuk, who serves as an advisor of sorts.
Kitty: And with this incredibly overpowered book of his, Light became the “god of the new world” and began to systemically kill the world’s criminals, hoping to purge the world of crime altogether! Y’know, why can’t I be the god of something? Like Kitty, “the god of drive-thru drug deals!”
Puppy: His methods were definitely a lot more effective then angrily tweeting about social injustice, but the power went to his head and he became a total sociopath, adopting the alias Kira.
Kitty: Bummer. What Light didn’t expect was detectives taking the challenge and trying to figure out who Kira was. Y’know, you can’t just start killing mass amounts of people and not expect to be rebelled against…
Puppy: Even the Japanese Task Force got into this! A world-famous detective with the alias L who founded the Task Force became a sort of rival to Kira, becoming the one person close to figuring him out.
Kitty: In order to protect his identity as Kira, Light joined the Task Force in order to figure out L’s real name, and so his world became juggled between two lives. One, Light Yagami, the incredibly intelligent prodigy and Kira, the mass killer who believes in “justice.”
Kitty: Light’s main strength lies in his mind. He’s capable of outsmarting even the most intelligent gumshoes and he’s also scored first place on a country wide exam! Believe me, he’s most definitely got an A before he takes any test. Hell, his I.Q’s at 200!
Puppy: He’s also managed to hide from the police for six years and even kill over 100,000 people with the Death Note! Is that truly justice or insanity?
Kitty: But he’s also incredibly strong in terms of manipulation. He manage to manipulate Rem into committing suicide and he’s even gained a massive cult behind his killings. Y’know, this has certainly gotten out of hand…
Puppy: Eventually, Kira’s influence came so far as to make some of the world’s most powerful countries back down and even intimidate Ryuk, who’s a literal god of death!
Kitty: Eventually killing L and coming into conflict with L’s apprentice Near, Light was soon engaged in an even more intense battle of wits against Near, and despite his massive amount of intelligence, Light was exposed as Kira and killed by the police, suffering the consequences of his actions.
Puppy: While Light has proven himself time and time again to be a formidable strategist, he is not without fault. He has a huge god complex and ego, which could easily be taken advantage of.
Kitty: But even then, this sociopathic serial killer is certainly a force to be reckoned with!
Light: “What do you think of that, L?! THIS IS MY PERFECT VICTORY!”
Intermission[]
Puppy: Alright, the combatants are set, and we've run the data through all possibilities. Feel free to vote for who you believe will win in the poll: https://strawpoll.com/GeZAO1QB1nV
Kitty: But now! IT'S TIME FOR ADEATH BATTLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!
Pre-Fight[]
9:30 PM, July 31st…
In a secluded meeting room, multiple outstandingly-dressed people sit around a table, arms folded and their minds on an intense discussion.
L Lawliet sits at the head of the table, his eyes shifting around to briefly inspect the other detectives in front of him.
“While I’m sure you all have lives back at the U.S, I am beyond grateful that you’ve decided to come out to Tokyo and help us.” L spoke as he stood up.
“As you know, we deal with an international threat, who goes by the alias ‘Kira…’” By that point, the mere mention of Kira had shook people with fear. He had taken multiple lives in his own twisted sense of justice, and most were nervous that they would be next.
“You will all assist our task force in catching Kira and putting his murderous rampage to an end.” L spoke before sitting down and looking at a file, seemingly taking attendance.
“Detective Rob Sidian…Forensic Analyst Sammy Gibus…Detective Don Mentio…Investigator ‘Big’ Clark…Homicide Detective ‘Vapor’ Dave Smoreo… and where’s Lieutenant Columbo?”
The door bursts open, and Columbo, who was out of breath and smoking a cigar, steps into the room.
“Oh, gee… sorry I’m late.”
(Cue: The Columbo Theme)
All of the task force members, both the U.S’ and Tokyo’s look up at Columbo, including Light Yagami, who raised his eyebrow with intrigue.
“You didn’t miss much, Lieutenant. You probably already know why you and your colleagues were sent over here, hmm?”
Columbo inhales some smoke before scrunching his face in thought. “Oh… the Kira case, right? He seems pretty dangerous, sir.” The Lieutenant says as he sits down.
“Very, Lieutenant.” L speaks as he sets the file down and continues explaining the detectives’ mission to them.
“Our goal is to deduce who Kira is, and expose him to the world.” L sighs as he leans forward in his chair. “And who better to figure out this case then the greatest minds in North America?” L chuckles dryly.
“Oh, my wife says I’m the second smartest… but there’s 80 other people tied for first.” Columbo smiles as he takes in another puff of smoke from his cigar.
Light looks towards Columbo with intrigue as his inner monologue kicks in. “An amazing detective without any real name? How interesting…” Light grins as he looks at his watch underneath the table.
The watch switches from 9:32 to 9:33 and Light looks up, just before Dave Smoreo begins to choke on one of the cookies he was eating to pass the time of the meeting. He bangs the table and his head becomes redder and redder, before he falls limp onto the table, dead as a doornail.
“Everyone, out! This is Kira’s work…” L hastily exclaims as he and the other detectives exit the room in fear. One of the detectives calls the building’s security as both Task Forces stand outside in shock.
Taking the opportunity to familiarize himself with the Lieutenant, Light sticks his hand out and Columbo shakes it.
“Light Yagami. I’m sorry that we had to meet under these circumstances.” Light introduces himself, and so does Columbo.
“Lieutenant Columbo, sir, but you can just call me Columbo…” he rapidly shakes Light’s hand before taking his cigar out of his mouth and grabbing it in his hand.
“What was your first name again, Lieutenant? I’m not good with memory and I can’t seem to remember…” Light sighs.
“I didn’t say it, Mr. Yagami. My wife says it’s rude not to introduce yourself with your first name…”
Columbo is about to say his name, when suddenly he looks at his watch. “Oh, look at the time… I promised my wife I’d call her when I got to Tokyo…” Columbo sighs, before turning to walk away.
“It was great to meet you, sir.” The Lieutenant says as he begins to take off towards the door.
Light continues his monologue inside his head. “I might’ve overestimated him…” He chuckles to himself before walking off to the other door.
Fight![]
6:00 A.M, August 1st
“Y’know, I never thought I’d be an eyewitness for once…”
Lieutenant Columbo said this, holding the telephone to his ear. He was calling his wife, who was all the way back in America, and he sat on the couch in his hotel room.
Columbo was watching the previous night’s news report about the sudden and unexpected death of the detective at the first ever meeting of the American and Japanese Task Force.
“This ‘Kira’ fellow seems dangerous… stay safe,—“ Before Mrs. Columbo could finish her words, the connection begins to break up, and eventually dissolve into static. The Lieutenant sighs and sets the phone back down, before beginning to get himself dressed.
As he slips on his jacket and begins to button it, the phone rings once more. Columbo quickly finishes his buttons before sitting back down.
“Lieutenant Columbo speaking…” Columbo grumbles as he struggles to tie his tie with one hand, while holding the phone in his other.
“Hello, this is L.” The telephone’s connection still wasn’t the greatest, due to the long distance of the calls and the run-down inner workings of Columbo’s hotel room. “We may need you to speak on live television, Lieutenant… we’ll tell you why when you get there, but you are fine with this, right?”
“Oh, uh… I’m fine with that, sir…” Columbo spoke with uncertainty. Was he being put in more danger by being used as bait, or did L see him as someone extraordinary enough to draw Kira out of wherever he was hiding? He didn’t know, but he was sure that whatever it was, it must’ve been a smart move to make.
“Meet us at the same meeting room as yesterday, okay? Thank you, Lieutenant.” L hangs up, and Columbo sighs, putting the phone down and tying his shoe.
————————————————
“We’re planning to use you to draw Kira out.”
Of course.
Columbo sighs, leaning against the window. They had set up a small memorial designated to the homicide detective who was killed by Kira the previous night, which Columbo notices in the corner of the room.
“So… what’cha talking about? On camera like one of em news reporters? Is my face gonna be shown, sir?” Columbo asks L, lighting a cigar and putting it in his mouth.
“We’re hoping that a detective with no real name written anywhere will draw Kira out, bait him into giving away his identity, you know the point…” L continues. “We won’t show your face, but we’ll hide it behind a screen.”
“Ah, smart… Y’know, sir, I don’t really get this television stuff anyways…” Columbo grunts, removing the cigar from his mouth and exhaling.
“Well, sir, let’s get Kira exposed.” Columbo chuckles, putting the cigar back into his mouth.
•••
6:30 A.M, August 1st
Light Yagami sits at his neat desktop setup in a chair, his eyes staring into his television. The same news report from earlier was on, providing details on the detective’s death.
“Yesterday, American homicide detective Dave Smoreo was killed unexpectedly at a meeting. The cause of his death was choking, but given his stature, it’s safe to say this is Kira’s work.“
“He stood in the way of justice.” Light chuckles before the TV flashes a bit and the screen goes dark.
“What’s going on?” Ryuk, who was standing behind Light in anticipation, coldly asks. Light’s eyes widen as he sees the television flash once more with a bright light, before the screen stops on an image of a formally written C.
Recognizing the font, a grimace appears on Light’s face. They’d done this with L, so why with the Lieutenant now? Whatever it was, it wouldn’t be a challenge for him.
“We interrupt these messages to bring you another message…”
Columbo’s gravelly voice speaks through the television. “Kira… I know you’re somewhere out there, watching this… know that whoever you are, wherever you are, we WILL find you…” Light was taken aback by the Lieutenant’s supposed change in tone. He had always seen him as an airheaded person, so hearing him like this was… intriguing.
Light swerves backwards in his chair to face Ryuk, sighing. “A pitiful attempt at intimidation… I think I’ve already outdone him.”
Ryuk looks back towards him, previously looking around the room in boredom. “Don’t be too sure. If I’ve learned anything from you, it’s that humans can be unpredictable in more ways than one.”
Light swerves his chair back around towards the television, folding his arms. “I will need a strategy… he may not seem smart, but I do need a way to work around him. He unfortunately does not have a name as we know…”
Light grabs a potato chip from his desk and eats it, attempting to figure this out.
“…to you all, I’m just an American… but to Kira… I may just be a threat he can’t afford to have.” Columbo finishes his message with suspense. “Well, I’ll be outta your hair now…” the message shuts off and the television returns to the earlier news report.
Light’s eyes widen in shock as Columbo says these words through the television. “Just who does he think he is?! A THREAT?! He’s nothing but a simple, unassuming—“ Light stops as he gets an idea. Sitting back down and calming himself down, he turns back towards Ryuk.
“I’ll frame him… I’ll kill all of the detectives and leave him alive… everybody will question his innocence, and behind the scenes I will find his name…”
Light swerves his chair back towards his desk and grabs a pen before slowly and ominously opening the Death Note. He flares the pen, eats a potato chip and eventually presses the tip against the paper, an evil grin overtaking his face.
“Checkmate, Lieutenant.”
•••
7:00 A.M, August 1st
“Reports have shown that American investigator “Big” Clark has been killed in the line of duty. Details have not been given out to the public, but if this keeps up, will the other detectives be safe?”
Columbo walks through the mucky ground of a fishing pier, the bottoms of his pants getting dirtier and dirtier every step he took.
Kicking a bucket aside, the Lieutenant stops walking behind yellow crime scene tape, which was covering the surrounding area. Police officers and forensic inspectors hastily ran around the area, communicating with each other.
Columbo, cigar in hand, stands over the corpse and looks in sheer disgust as he sees the detective’s pale, lifeless face. The body belonged to a stocky, bearded man, who was now dead.
“We should get a doctor here, sir.” Columbo says, turning to a man next to him.
The man turns around to face Columbo, sighing at the sight of the poorly-dressed detective. “I am that doctor, Lieutenant.” Flipping out his certification, the doctor proves that he is, in fact, a doctor.
“Oh, uh… Lieutenant Columbo, L.A.P.D.” Columbo flips out his badge and shows it to the doctor, who chuckles at this.
“Yes, I know who you are, Lieutenant.” The doctor says, putting his certification back in his coat pocket and beginning to pace the area. Columbo follows, putting his badge away as well.
“So, what’s his cause of death, sir?” Columbo begins to interrogate, putting his cigar back into his mouth.
“We aren’t used to more supernatural cases, per se, but from what we’ve already gathered, he had a heart attack.” The doctor says, glancing back at the pale corpse.
“A heart attack, sir? He looks perfectly healthy…” Columbo tries to stop himself from chuckling in light of the morbid situation, so he instead grabs his forehead and sighs.
“That’s the odd part about this. He is perfectly healthy… his heart suddenly decided to stop working, and he fell dead.” The doctor examines the corpse once more, still bewildered by the sudden death of the investigator.
“Definitely Kira’s work, sir.” Columbo quickly replies, not even realizing that everyone knew that. Beginning to pace around the crime scene once more, Columbo inhales more smoke from his cigar and speaks to the doctor. “Y’know, could you examine my heart some time, sir? I’ve been healthy enough to keep up with work but sometimes it just feels like my heart’s just…hammering in my chest, Y’know?”
The doctor, who was crouching down in front of the corpse and looking even closer at it, is taken aback by the slight chance in topic. Even then, he still stands back up and answers. “Those cigars might not be helping you, Lieutenant.” He replies, before crouching back down.
“Ah, I’m sure you’re right…” Columbo says. He walks away from the doctor as he studies the corpse closely, turns around, looks both ways, and puts the cigar back into his mouth.
“Tokyo’s Task Force has been working on this case for a while, haven’t they…?” Columbo asks himself, blowing out smoke as he stares into space.
“They’ve been known, and yet the head members haven’t fallen victim to Kira…” Columbo‘s voice slows down. “Which leads me to believe that there’s a slight chance that Kira… might be one of the Task Force members.” Columbo finishes, putting the cigar in a nearby ashtray and turning towards the doctor.
“Tell the Task Force that I want to issue another meeting, sir.” Columbo says with a proud and tired look on his face.
“I can’t do that, Lieutenant. I’m just a doctor.” The doctor replies, finishing his examination.
•••
7:30 A.M, August 1st
Light walks across the hallways of a secluded and secret building, clicking a pen repeatedly as he paces the floor. Once he reaches a door with a piece of paper with the poorly written words “Lieutenant Columbo’s Office” taped on the front of the door, he opens it and sees Lieutenant Columbo sitting at his desk. The office was certainly messy and quickly put-together as the Lieutenant believed he wouldn’t stay at Tokyo for very long. Light smiled, knowing he wasn’t going to let Columbo so much as leave Tokyo alive.
“Hello, Lieutenant… is it true that you’ve called for me?” Light asks Columbo, pulling a chair out and sitting down.
“You’re right, sir.” Columbo chuckles, seemingly ignoring the doctor’s advice and smoking another large cigar. “Is this a bad time, Mr. Yagami? I sure hope I’m not interruptin’ something…”
“No, it’s perfectly fine, Lieutenant.” Light barely shows emotion, something Columbo had already noticed at their first meeting.
“If you’ll excuse me, I do have a few questions, Mr. Yagami.” Columbo smiles, standing up and beginning to pace the room while talking. “I know you have school, but it’s nice that you’ve taken the time to help with this Kira investigation… you’re a real smart kid.”
Light chuckles in response to this, setting the pen he was holding earlier onto the table and looking up at the monologuing detective.
“I knew a lot of kids like you growing up, Mr. Yagami…” Columbo continues speaking. “A lot of smart kids…Y’know, I never liked the word smart. It’s passive. Nobody’s born smart… they know nothin’ when they’re born.”
He stops talking for a few seconds to catch his breath and remove the cigar from his mouth, before turning around and facing Light.
“I’ve heard this Kira fella can kill anyone from anywhere. Real scary stuff, Mr. Yagami.” Columbo sighs, sitting back down. “That’s why he’s gotta be stopped immediately, and I’ve got a bit of a hunch…”
Normally, anybody in this situation would be nervous, but not Light. His whole agenda was so meticulously planned that he had no fear that someone as simple minded as Columbo would be able to figure it out.
“The Task Force has been known to the public for a while, yeah…? Well if you’ve all become known for trying to take down Kira, how come he hasn’t killed you yet? Well, the majority of you…”
It was this moment that Light’s heart began racing. He wanted to grimace or show any form of anger at Columbo, but he couldn’t, because it would only prove his point.
“While I won’t point any fingers… I think there’s a slight chance that Kira might actually be someone in the Task Force.” Columbo finishes, putting his cigar back into his mouth and inhaling more smoke.
“Well, I’ll get out of your hair, Mr. Yagami…” Columbo chuckles, prompting Light to stand up and make his way to the door.
“I need to get his name… it’s absolutely crucial.” Light begins speaking internally. He opens the door and walks off, taking his pen with him.
•••
8:00 A.M, August 1st
“I’ve been researching more into this Kira case, Mr. Sidian.” Columbo stands in front of a sitting Rob Sidian, one of the detectives Columbo had been working with. “And there’s been one thing bothering me… see, when Mr. Kurou Otoharada died of a heart attack weeks earlier, it seemed like an act of God for such a dangerous criminal to be killed, but the news of this death was only broadcast in Japan, leaving me to believe God has his eyes on Japan only…”
Columbo, who wasn’t smoking a cigar this time, crouched down in front of the sitting detective and continued. “But we all know that God is all-seeing, so this means that Kira lives in Japan.”
Columbo’s coworker sitting in front of him attempts to say something, but the Lieutenant continues talking.
“But what really makes me start thinkin’ is that when Lind L. Tailor met his fate on live TV, his announcement was broadcast at the different regions of Japan, beautiful place by the way, at different times. And yet, Lind L. Tailor was killed only when it was broadcast in Kanto.”
Rob Sidian looks up at the Lieutenant in thought, seeing his point.
“If Kira is a god, then how’d he only know about Lind’s existence after the broadcast? I think that Kira lives in Kanto, and Kanto ain’t even the most populated region, so it wouldn’t be that hard to bug a few houses. We might even be able to find Kira by figuring out how to broadcast a news report about a fake identity in each individual house in the region. Kira would definitely be watching the news, just so he could figure out how to counter our attempts.”
“Hmm… that’s very intriguing, Lieutenant.” Rob begins to speak, standing and facing Columbo. “Though it would be incredibly difficult to figure out how to broadcast anything in individual homes and bug houses as well… and I don’t even think that’s in our jurisdiction, Lieutenant.”
Columbo, who was in the middle of lighting a cigar, glances back at Rob.
“Ah… that’s fair. I still do think it’s a great idea in case we get desperate, sir.” Columbo replies.
“Yes, it still is—“ Rob suddenly stops commending Columbo’s idea and grabs a pen from the table before stabbing it into the left side of his chest. He pulls it downward and it tears through his flesh, causing blood to spill out on the table until the detective slumps over, dead.
Columbo is startled by this and his cigar falls from his mouth, the lone sound of falling ash the only thing to be heard in the frightful situation.
“Kira…” Columbo utters, grabbing his forehead and attempting to conceive what had just happened before him.
•••
8:30 A.M, August 1st
“Homicide detective Rob Sidian has been killed in what appears to be a Kira-driven suicide. While discussing the case, the detective took a pen and tore through his own chest, which had killed him instantly. We are still waiting for more details.”
The T.V buzzes with noise as Kira looks through his computer, attempting to access police files.
“What exactly are you doing?” Ryuk, who was hovering behind Light in the dimly lit room, asks with curiosity. He tilts his pale face downward and attempts to make out what was on the computer screen, but ultimately failed.
“Ever since joining the Task Force, I’ve had access to police files.” Light calmly answers, scrolling through paragraphs of information on his computer. “I just haven’t used it because it would arouse suspicion.”
Light’s left hand is doing the research on his computer and his right hand sits comfortably on his desk atop the opened Death Note, pen in hand. “I’ve had access to police information because of my father’s line of work, but this seems a lot more convenient in this situation… especially because I have a way to either get rid of the detective or frame him for the murders.”
“Smart.” Ryuk replies, his beady, yellow eyes staring down at the computer screen.
Light sneers and turns back to the computer screen, surveying the files for anything on Columbo or the other American detectives.
“What’s your plan, anyways?” Ryuk asks, now focusing on both Light and his one hand on the Death Note.
“I’m going to whittle down the entirety of his Task Force and have them die either close to him or directly in front of him. He’ll always be the first to respond to the cases far from him and the only eyewitness in the deaths that happen in front of him.” Light chuckles, his deranged grin growing wider as he peruses the police files even faster.
“He will eventually become a suspect for the killings, and despite the fact that he may be able to prove that Kira does live in the Kanto region, he won’t be trusted as much. Tokyo’s citizens only see this task force as a bunch of over glorified tourists.” Light chuckles as he stops scrolling through the files.
“They’ll suspect him to be in Japan as a murderer, not a detective, and he’ll be thrown out and ruined, leaving us alone to deal with our Task Force and finally deliver justice where it is DUE!” Light’s devilish grin spreads as he looks back at Ryuk. “But it’ll be a lot easier to just kill him here and now anyways.”
Turning his focus back to the files, he selects a heading titled “American Task Force” before scrolling through everything inside of it. Finally stopping and noticing the name in the files, he clicks his pen, eats a potato chip and begins writing.
“John Columbo… cause of death, suicide.”
He sneers once more before shutting the book and leaning back into his chair.
•••
9:30 A.M, August 1st
“An accountant named John Columbo has been killed by suicide at his own workplace, leaving us to believe that Kira is attempting to get rid of American detective Lieutenant Columbo to continue his mass killings. Are we safe?”
Lieutenant Columbo walks behind a news reporter, clearly trying to fathom the new discovery.
“Kira’s comin’ for me… that’s hard to take in…” Columbo laments to himself, smoking a large cigar as he always did. Looking around the crime scene, he notices the body of the recently killed man being carried outside in a stretcher and placed in an ambulance.
He sighs after witnessing such a violent sight and places his hand on his forehead in confusion. “Who knew Tokyo’d be more violent than Los Angeles…”
Glancing once more at the now departing ambulance, Columbo inhales another puff of smoke and begins to ponder his mortality. Now that he knew he could quite possibly meet his end away from home…
The prodigious Lieutenant felt fear for the first time in his line of work.
“Y’know, I’d expect the cigars to end up bein’ my killer.” Columbo continues talking to himself.
Shifting back into a position of thought, he begins to ponder the case once more.
“John Columbo… John Columbo…where’d I have that name written down…” Columbo mutters as he blows smoke from his cigar, his eyes completely focused on the ground.
“…got it! It was in the police files I sent to Japan…which would only back up my case even more that Kira is someone in the Task Force and someone in the Kanto region of Tokyo…” the detective begins to think, removing the cigar from his mouth. “One of them could only be in the Task Force solely to cover up their traces… make it seem like they’re innocent, Y’know?”
“But I don’t know enough about the Task Force to make a correct accusation…” Columbo mumbles, inhaling more smoke from the cigar and pacing the area, kicking rocks around as he did so.
Looking around, he sees a reporter approach him hastily, with a camera crew following. “Hello, Lieutenant.”
“Oh, uh, I’m not in the mood for any interviews, ma’am.” Columbo mutters, attempting to walk away.
“But I’ve got one question for you, Lieutenant.” The reporter says as she holds her microphone up to the lazily-dressed detective’s face. “How can we tell that you’re not Kira? You’re the only one witnessing these deaths and you show up almost immediately after the deaths happen, and even if Kira’s killings started here in Japan, that doesn’t change the fact that Kira is an international threat, Lieutenant.” The reporter starts rambling, and the Lieutenant sighs.
“Just give me the day to solve this… please.” Columbo blows more smoke before walking away.
“I’ll need to get close to the Task Force members and figure out which one of them is Kira.” Columbo sighs. “I’ll make sure to take Mr. Yagami out to lunch later…”
•••
12:00 P.M, August 1st
“It’s working…” Light Yagami says internally as he sits in a booth, waiting for Columbo to arrive. “They believe he may be Kira.”
The Lieutenant steps into the door, lights a cigar and sits in the booth.
“Sorry to have you come out here in such an… awful time, Mr. Yagami. This’ll be quick.” Columbo chuckles dryly.
“It’s okay, Lieutenant.” Light sighs. “It’s nice enough that you decided to invite me out to lunch, even if some questioning is involved.” Light was lying. He hated the fact that the Lieutenant did this to attempt to suck more answers out of him, and he was vehemently cursing Columbo in his head.
But Light knew he’d eventually need to deal with this and it was best to give him this one last chance. “So…what are you thinking of?”
“I’m thinking of three deaths, Mr. Yagami.” Columbo says, exhaling smoke.
“That’s the thing that’s really setting Kira off… he wants it done quickly…”
“You know how much I hate to say it, Mr. Yagami… you’re the only one who knows what’s going on…” Columbo laughs dryly. “You’re a genius, Mr. Yagami… we need to interrogate you and we need it now.”
“So why am I here?” Light asks in order to make himself seem more than innocent. He had seen straight through the Lieutenant’s ploy, and he was attempting to outdo him.
“But how do I know that you’ve been given permission to do this? Do you have papers, or say…” Light pauses. “A badge?”
“Oh, I should’ve shown it earlier… I’m sorry, sir.” Columbo chuckles as he pulls out his badge and shows it to Light, who glances at it quickly, but also long enough to make out the words on it.
“Frank Columbo.” He says internally, chuckling to himself as the Lieutenant puts the badge away and sighs. “You can just call me detective.” He says with a smirk.
“Thank you, Lieutenant.” Light says as he focuses his attention on Columbo, who was busy lighting another cigar.
“Have you made any breakthroughs on the Kira case, Lieutenant?” Light asks without emotion, his pale face turned towards Columbo.
“Oh, uh… we’re getting a bit off topic, sir.” Columbo replies. “But I’ve deduced that Kira lives in Kanto. And is quite possibly a member of the Task Force. Now, seeing that you’ve been on this Force a lot longer than I have, so you have any clue who that may be?”
“I do not, Lieutenant…” Light replies, sighing and looking under the table, pulling a small piece of the Death Note’s paper from his watch and writing “Frank Columbo, cause of death, cardiac arrest. Time, 8:00 P.M, August 1st…”
Slipping the piece of paper back into his watch, he looks back up at the Lieutenant.
“…though whoever it is would have to have extensive access to police files… now, what did you say your dad did for a living?” Columbo asks, hinting at his father’s position in the police department.
Cursing the Lieutenant, Light stands up. “Now see here, Lieutenant. Did you come to interrogate me or ask me about my personal life? Kira could be killing someone right now, and we’d be here, prattling on!” Light exclaims, using it as an excuse to escape the conversation.
“Now if you excuse me, I have somewhere to be.” Light departs, sneering as his back turns to the detective.
“I’ll need to talk to Misa…” Light says in his mind. “If that isn’t his real name, then I have only one more shot…”
•••
1:00 P.M, August 1st
“American Forensic Analyst Sammy Gibus has been killed in an unfortunate motorcycle accident. While accidents like these are prone to happen, given the string of deaths running through the American Task Force, it’s easy to assume that this is the work of Kira. However, recent rumors and theories show that another American detective, Lieutenant Columbo, could be using the Task Force to hide that he himself is Kira—“
Columbo shuts the television off and sighs, eventually shifting that hand back to his pocket to grab a cigar to light.
“Poor Sammy…” Columbo mutters to himself, inhaling more smoke from his cigar and closing his eyes in disappointment. How could they be so ignorant as to accuse him of being a mass murderer when stopping mass murderers is his line of work?! These thoughts raced through Columbo’s mind at a violent rate, but he managed to keep his calm and merely scratch his stubble while exhaling smoke from the large cigar.
“I’m surprised Light acted that rash when I asked him ‘bout his father. Was he trying to draw more suspicion to himself, eh?” Columbo begins to think to himself, taking a seat in his chair. He had worn his uniform throughout the day and it had become a lot more messy, but Columbo paid no attention to that.
“Maybe he isn’t Kira… but I’ve had a bit of suspicion towards him for a while.” Columbo mumbles, inhaling smoke from the cigar and holding it next to him.
“Or he could be Kira’s partner or something…” Columbo sighs. “It’s just… his father’s the head of the Japanese Police Department, which also means Light would have access to police files…”
Columbo stands back up and stretches. “But he seems like a smart kid… if he was Kira, he’d be too smart to draw attention to himself.”
He begins to pace the room, eventually dropping the cigar in an ashtray, which was sitting conveniently in the corner of his hotel room.
“One thing’s for certain, he’s a tough one to crack… this whole case has been gettin’ to me.” Columbo turns the T.V back on, attempting to collect more information on the case.
“I really need a vacation…”
•••
2:00 P.M, August 1st
In Light’s bedroom, the proud and prodigious Kira sits on a chair, entirely embarrassed that it had to come to this.
The door opens and Misa Amane, his lover in a completely one-sided relationship, leaps through and hugs Light. Light responds simply by sighing. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed her to get rid of the Lieutenant. She had made a deal with another Shinigami in order to get the Shinigami Eyes, which allowed her to see the name and lifespan of any individual.
“I haven’t seen you in so long!” Misa giggles. “Even if you’re here to use me, I’m just glad I get to see you again!”
Light grimaces and speaks internally. “It’s no wonder why I haven’t seen you in so long.”
Ryuk stands behind Light, his bony arms crossed across his chest.
“Look, Misa, I need your help.” Light coldly begins as Misa stands up, walks backwards and sits in a chair adjacent to Light’s.
“For what, darling? Any Kira business…?” She asks, hinting on the obvious and sliding closer towards Light.
Light begins to speak internally again. “…did she just call me darling…? I have never been more provoked to hit a woman in my life…”
Instead of taking up on that urge, Light merely gulps and responds. “Yes. I know that you can see names and lifespans, and I need your help with… er… someone.”
“So you need my help again?” Misa looks back at Light with a smirk.
“I’ve already said that…” Light replies, clearly bottling up his annoyance. While she certainly was helpful, Misa was also unbearable.
“You do know about Lieutenant Columbo, right? The American detective sent here for the Kira case?” Light asks, attempting to avoid any more flirting from Misa.
“Yeah! Lots of people think he’s Kira, which is good for you, hmm? It’s good for your ideal world that suspicion is away from you.”
“For once, she’s right.” Ryuk chuckles from behind Light. “Too bad you already know that.”
Looking back at Ryuk with a snarl of sorts, Light continues explaining his need for Misa. “Because of the Shinigami Eyes, you are my perfect counter to his lack of a name…” Light chuckles.
“But while I already have his name, Frank Columbo, written down, I want to make sure that it is his real name, because I’ll have only one more chance after that…” Light looks back at Misa.
“So you want me to get acquainted with him? Like a moonlight stroll through the park… a nice candlelight dinner…?” Misa giggles, looking back at Light as she lists what she’d like to do with Light and going entirely off-topic.
“No, I just need you to be able to meet him somewhere… maybe you can just talk to him? It’s not hard to find him roaming the streets… though it would be hard to find him now, as some people believe he is Kira.”
“Wow, it really does feel like you’ve got this whole thing planned out!” Misa smiles at Light. “But I’ve got it… your wish is my command, darling!”
“Please stop calling me that…” Light says in his mind.
•••
3:00 P.M, August 1st
Columbo sits in a dimly-lit room with a cigar in his mouth. In the chair facing his is L, who is sitting hunched over in his chair and staring at Columbo.
“Forgive me, but I just gotta ask, why do you sit like that?” Columbo inquires.
“If I were to sit normally, my perceptive skills would decrease by a good 40%…” he says in his normal unenthusiastic tone. “But that’s beside the point, Lieutenant. I’m one of the few people in Japan who doesn’t believe that you are Kira, and I can’t believe anyone actually believes that… there’s too minimal evidence.”
Columbo sighs and begins to reply. “They’re just scared… the public will eat up whatever information they’re given on anything dangerous, and I don’t blame ‘em.”
“Excuse me, Lieutenant?” L raised his eyebrow and stared wide-eyes into the Lieutenant’s face.
“I do show up first to every case and I have witnessed most of the detectives’ deaths.. if I weren’t me, sir, I’d be fairly suspicious too.” Columbo says with a slight chuckle, blowing smoke in the air.
“Would you like a cigar? It helps me think.” Columbo looks back at L.
“No, I don’t smoke…” L replies. “Do you have any suspicions on who may be Kira?”
“Well, I’ve already figured out that whoever is behind the Kira facade lives in the Kanto region and is quite possibly a member of the Task Force.”
“I see… That narrows it down.” L nods. “Alright, good work, Lieutenant. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to hear what else you have discovered so far.”
“I’ll try and get out of your hair soon…” Columbo says with a smile, running his index finger across the side of his cigar. “But if you insist, I’ve had a few more… suspicions, to say the least.”
“Well, now we’re getting somewhere, aren’t we?” L says, suddenly leaning forward towards Columbo.
“Yeah, I think so too. Now, can I ask you about something?” Columbo asks, his eyes shining. “What do you know about Light Yagami? While I’m not entirely certain, I believe he may be Kira…”
“He seems to be a very smart kid… but to be honest, he’s been suspicious from the start.” L confirms, his stoic expression still remaining. “His father, Soichiro, is the chief of police, meaning it’d be quite easy for him to access the names of criminals… and the detectives sent to Japan as well.”
“Yeah, and I noticed that as well. While it’s unlikely that Mr. Yagami is Kira, he’s our main suspect, and we need to capture Kira before any more violence happens…” Columbo nods.
“Well, then, that settles it. Thank you, Lieutenant, for your hard work.” L says, shaking Columbo’s hand.
“No, thanks for having me here… while it’s not under the greatest circumstances, Japan is a pretty place…” Columbo says, taking his cigar from his mouth and preparing to leave. “I’ll get out of your hair now
“Wait, just one more thing… do you have an ashtray?”
•••
4:00 P.M, August 1st
Light walks through a park, the sun shining through the trees and onto his shoulders. Behind him was Misa, who was struggling to keep up with him. Columbo had asked him to come out to that area for some more interrogation, so Light had decided to take every precaution.
He takes an apple from his coat and throws it behind him, with Ryuk catching it and eating it in a matter of seconds. “Don’t bother me while I do this, Ryuk.”
Ryuk replies not with words, but by wiping his mouth with his arms. His beady yellow eyes glowed in Light’s sight before he disappeared behind a tree.
Lieutenant Columbo stands near a bench, clearly waiting for Light. When he sees Light slowly approaching him with Misa, he hastily lights a cigar.
“You look different then you do on television, Mr. Columbo…” Misa giggles. “I’m Light’s girlfriend, Misa Amane!” She shakes Columbo’s hand, almost causing him to drop the cigar from his other hand.
“You can just call me detective…” Columbo chuckles, engaging in a conversation with Misa. Light, standing behind the two, grins and begins another internal monologue.
“I’ve already won! Misa will be able to see your name and lifespan, and even if Frank isn’t your real name… I’ll know it now! CHECKMATE, LIEUTENANT!”
Light is interrupted by the Lieutenant, who steps back into his field of vision. “And it’s nice to see you again, Mr. Yagami.”
“Oh, uh, you too, Lieutenant.” Light replies with an odd expression, shaking Columbo’s hand.
“Lieutenant, deciding to invite us here was a mistake… a mistake that will cost you your life, in the name of justice!” Light says in his mind, a grin appearing on his face.
From Misa’s perspective, she could see the Lieutenant’s name hovering above his head with a glowing red aura. “Frank… Frank Columbo…” Misa mutters internally.
Columbo notices Misa staring at him, so he just puts his cigar in his mouth and speaks. “Let’s just get down to business, Mr. Yagami.”
“Hmph.” Light sighs. “Let’s hear it.”
“Your father is Soichiro Yagami, the chief of police, right?” Columbo steps forward as he interrogates Light, staring deep into his emotionless eyes. “Now, forgive me if I’m wrong, but that means that he’d have pretty easy access to files on criminals and officers alike, hmm?”
Light begins to speak in his mind once more. “Dammit! Even when he’s near his death, he’s still on to me!”
While speaking to the Lieutenant, Light takes a more calm voice in contrast to his more angered mental monologues. “Excuse me, Lieutenant… could I talk to Misa in private?”
“You sly dog… I’ve got a wife at home, so I know the feeling.” Columbo chuckles as he lights a cigar and begins to walk away.
“…did you get his name?” Light whispers to Misa.
“Yes, it is Frank Columbo… you’ve got him now, darling!” Misa replies in a hushed tone as well.
“…darling? Could you please stop calling me that?” Light grimaces.
“How about I call you knight because you’re my knight in shining armor!” Misa giggles.
“No, Light is fine…”
•••
6:00 P.M, August 1st
Columbo sits in a secluded library, a television sitting on his table as he clicks a pen and looks through a book.
“American Detective Don Mentio has been killed in a fatal gang shooting that he had no reason to be in. Reporters are still trying to figure out more details, but given the most recent patterns in deaths, we are led to believe that it is the work of Kira. It’s also worth nothing that most believe the American detective Lieutenant Columbo may be Kira—“
Columbo slams the TV, which shuts it off.
“I know that Light Yagami is Kira… I just need a way to prove it.” Columbo mutters to himself as he adjusts the cigar in his mouth.
He was looking through a book on Japanese folklore, sliding his index finger across the pages as he reads. “Shinigami…”
“…spirits of death. They’ll sometimes let people use their powers for their own personal gains…” Columbo reads out loud, despite the fact that there was nobody else in the room.
“I’ve heard rumors that Kira is accompanied by one of these fellas… maybe I could bait him into admitting that he is Kira…” Columbo sighs. “I’ll just get some of my contacts to set it up, and put myself in the position where he’ll have to reveal himself…”
Columbo slides his finger on the page again as he examines another book. “Look at this picture here…”
Columbo looks closely at an old picture of what Shinigami were believed to look like. It was a lanky, ghastly spirit clad in dark clothing.
“That’s interesting…” He chuckles, before shutting the book. “I might be able to just stop by his house and make it seem like another simple interrogation.”
“And when a villain like him has been going around killing people for years, his ego’s probably inflated, so I’ll be able to get him to confess.” Columbo says to himself.
Columbo knew he didn’t have any other choice. “Then there’s my only option—to get Kira to confess and let the public know who he is.”
“My name will be cleared, and I can finally get out of here… it’s beautiful, but I’ve seen too much death here, even in my line of work…” Columbo sighs. “I’ll just have to do it quickly.”
Columbo opens another book, flips to a new page and reads aloud. “To prevent any more murder, I can do what Kira can’t do,” Columbo says to himself as he examines the books with curiosity.
“I’ll use my resources for good…”
•••
7:30 P.M, August 1st
Light is sitting in his room when he hears a knock at his door. He quickly rushes downstairs and opens the door, revealing that Lieutenant Columbo was behind the door.
“Hello, Mr. Yagami.” Columbo says as he lights a cigar and steps inside, examining the house. “Nice house… thanks for letting me stop by.”
Light stares at the Lieutenant as he looks around the building in awe, clearly remembering that he didn’t get a warning that Columbo was coming over. “Not a problem, Lieutenant.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to keep this short… I won’t be staying long.” Columbo says as he begins to smoke the previously lit cigar and smirks at Light.
“No, I don’t think you will, Lieutenant.” Light says in his mind, chuckling.
“You’ve heard of Shinigami, right?” Columbo asks, inhaling smoke and admiring Light’s carpet.
“Yes, Lieutenant.”
“Spirits of death, real scary stuff…” Columbo speaks as he turns back to face Light. “I’ve also read that they’ve sometimes let humans mess around with their death powers.”
Light eyes Columbo as he grimaces, shifting his hands into his pockets. “He knows… too late, I’ve already won…”
“Having powers like that could lead to someone causing mass amounts of violence, right? Now forgive me, I’ve just gotta ask, but your dad works for the police department, so that means he and you by extension have access to police files…?”
“Damn you…” Light chuckles internally as his grimace grows even more. “Of course,” Light says, trying to deflect Columbo’s suspicion.
“Really? Is that a fact?” Columbo asks as he leans forward on the couch. “And living with a police officer means you’d certainly have some disdain towards criminals, hm?”
Light pauses for a moment, closing his hands into a fist. “Yes, Lieutenant.”
“And it’s also worth noting that every criminal killed by Kira was in those same police files… and your father seems like too good of a man to be a killer.” Columbo says as he inhales more smoke.
“And I’ve already stated why Kira is most likely a member of the Task Force and a citizen of the Kanto region, and to be short—you fit both of those.” Columbo states, wagging his finger at Light.
“Now, I ain’t a mathematician, but if I had to put it to numbers, I’d say there’s a 90% chance you are Kira…” suddenly, Columbo begins to groan. “I suddenly don’t feel so hot… it must be the cigars.”
“It’s cardiac arrest, Lieutenant!” Light snaps and begins to yell at Columbo.
“How do you know that?” Columbo inquires, still groaning.
“I wrote your name in the Death Note earlier today, meaning you are set to die right here, RIGHT NOW! I’ve won, Frank Columbo, this is MY PERFECT VICTORY! THAT’S RIGHT, I AM KIRA! THE GOD OF THE NEW WORLD!” Light grabs Columbo by his jacket. “AND THE NEW WORLD HAS NO PLACE FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU!”
Columbo staggers backwards, attempting to catch his breath and his sits down on a chair, setting his cigar on the floor. “I guess this is it… I’m going to die here, huh?”
Light nods, his eyes flashing a devilish red as he continues his hysterical laughing fit.
“I’ve lived a good life…”
Light looks down at his watch.
7:59…
Tick… tick…
8:00
Light looks over his watch and back at Columbo, but is surprised to see him still alive.
“Just one more thing…”
Light’s eyes widen in fear as his heartbeat picks up.
“You may have gotten my name down, but you didn’t picture my face entirely correctly…” Columbo says as he puts his fingers to his eyes and removes a set of contacts, revealing his eyes to be a different color than Kira had seen him with.
“Before I started working on this case, L gave me these… he filled me in on the rules of the book, and knew these would protect me.”
“I—I…” Light stutters as he realizes his faults.
“Oh, I almost forgot to say, the police force bugged this house while you were away… our entire conversation, your entire confession, have all been recorded. And the police force is standing right outside.”
Light continues to stutter as the door is broken down and 5 police officers run in, pointing their guns at Light as Columbo hides behind them.
“Put your hands up, Kira!”
Light backs up into a wall, his rage bottled up inside of him. He had lost? How?! These thoughts raced through his mind as he grimaced at Columbo.
“DAMN YOU TO HELL!” Light says, lashing out at Columbo and taking a shard of glass from a nearby table. He raises it over his head and attempts to stab the Lieutenant with it, but the officers fire at him in the chest and he falls to the floor, dead.
The officers begin to investigate the house as Columbo sighs and stands above Light’s corpse. “Checkmate, Kira.”
KO!
- Ending Screen A: Columbo is seen asleep in a chair in the airport, awaiting his flight back to America. It had been an eventful day for him, and he was glad to be heading home.
- Ending Screen B: Above Light’s home, which was closed off for investigation, sits Ryuk, who was holding the Death Note. He sighs as he slowly shuts it, revealing he had written Light Yagami’s name down in the book.
Results[]
Kitty: Well, I guess Columbo won this game of Among Us…
Puppy: While this wasn’t a conventional battle, it was certainly a close one. Both Columbo and Light have shown to be extremely intelligent throughout their series.
Kitty: But how did Columbo win? Light had an I.Q of 200 while Columbo’s was just at 190! There’s a clear difference there.
Puppy: The results for this battle didn’t entirely lie in intelligence, but moreover strategy. While Light has shown to take precautions and he’s been capable of outsmarting even the most elite minds, Columbo’s entire strategy centers around breaking people like Light! He makes them think they’ve won by inflating their egos, before their egos end up causing them to slip up and allowing Columbo to catch the killer.
Kitty: Not to mention that Columbo’s end goal was certainly easier. Columbo had to suss out Light as Kira vs Light having to figure out Columbo’s name, which would only draw more suspicion to himself!
Puppy: So in the end, while Light was certainly smarter, Columbo’s experience, strategy and overall skill in catching crimes allowed him to win this mental game and save Japan from Kira.
Kitty: Oh, just one more thing… Light should’ve taken Notes, because he won’t be killing Kir-anymore!
Puppy: The winner is Lieutenant Columbo.
Next Time on Death Battle![]
Kittan: “When you’re scared, that’s all the more reason to move forward!”
Yamcha: "Looks like you're not as strong as I thought."
Trivia[]
- This Death Battle doesn’t have connections—but I’ve decided to write it on account of how cool a battle of wits between the two would be
- The soundtrack for this battle would be titled “Just One More Name” referencing Columbo’s iconic quote, “Just one more thing…” and the necessity of the victim’s name for Light to kill someone with the Death Note
- The soundtrack art would be the Death Note, lying on it’s bottom and open, two pages showing. On both pages is a list of combatants and how they died in Cheesy’s previous battles, with the bottom of the second page saying “Lieutenant Columbo” but missing the cause of death, as the rest was burnt off by a cigar that was lying in front of the book
- It’s also worth noting that the other detectives on the U.S Task Force over the course of the fight are all individually based on the members of “Written in Blood,” a Discord server for Death Battle authors