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Coco Bandicoot (Crash Bandicoot) X Bentley (Sly Cooper)

Coco Bandicoot vs. Bentley is a What-If? episode of Death Battle.

Description[]

The legacies of Naughty Dog and Sucker Punch studios: DEATH BATTLE takes a turn for the lower-powered in this clash between second-fiddle videogame geniuses. Which anthropomorphic animal will come out on top--bandicoot, or turtle?

Interlude[]

Wiz: Anthropomorphic animals are--

Boomstick: We're not doing this, Wiz! Furries!

Wiz: Boomstick, just sit through this. Genius teammates might not get all the attention in their series when there's a more active main character, but they're still important to the story--such as Coco Bandicoot, a cohabitant with Crash Bandicoot--

Boomstick: --and Bentley, a partner-in-crime to Sly Cooper. He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick--

Wiz: --and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Coco Bandicoot[]

Wiz: The archipelago of the Wumpa Islands, off the coast of Tasmania, were once relatively uneventful. But the machinations of Doctor Neo Cortex and his assistant, Doctor Nitrus Brio, changed all this with their invention, the Evolvo-Ray.

Boomstick: It does basically what it sounds like it does, except that the evolving turns the animals it hits into furries.

Wiz: It was intended to be used as part of a procedure to make evil minions. At some indeterminate point after the first two partially-successful test subjects, the Evolvo-Ray was used again on the female sibling of one of the original two. And thus, Coco Bandicoot was uplifted.

Boomstick: And whatever the hell kind of tweaks they must have made, they totally worked!

Wiz: Coco Bandicoot ended up much more intelligent, civilized, and capable of speech than her brother, Crash Bandicoot. Coco went to live with her brother after he foiled Neo Cortex's plans for an evil uplift army, and has been Crash's director ever since.

Boomstick: Does this mean the evil minion thing worked out?

Wiz: No, actually. Coco isn't necessarily 'good', but does oppose Doctor Neo Cortex's influence across the archipelago. When Coco decides to get her hands dirty instead of letting Crash do it, she usually does do with some kind of equipment or vehicle.

Boomstick: Coco can pilot just about anything. Racecars, jet skis, biplanes, spaceships, or pretty much anything that goes where you point it. And she'll operate stuff in manual, too; she can snowboard, operate a scooter, and friggin' spacewalk.

Wiz: Coco is a mechanical and inventive expert. With assistance, she was able to construct a giant doomsday mecha. She has also made modifications her racecar and repurposed the eye of the mecha into, essentially, a modern-era videogame console. But her greatest feat is the creation of the VR Hub System, which can teleport the user to preset locations around the globe. As part of this system, she has created levitating machines and a hologram projector system.

Boomstick: These islands are in the middle of nowhere! Where does she get this stuff?

Wiz: Don't think about it too hard, Boomstick. Coco also has a reasonable set of computer skills, having demonstrated the ability to hack into Doctor Neo Cortex's communications multiple times--one attempt requiring only seconds.

Boomstick: That's nice, Wiz, but what happens if you try to beat her up?

Wiz: Despite her more intellectual focus and preference for tools, Coco is not helpless when isolated. As of the latest games, Coco has trained in martial arts and can take an extended beating from multiple mutant animals larger than herself before going down. She also has a sub-superhuman degree of agility, presumably from her martial arts training. While Coco is not as fast as Crash, she is just as physically strong, and like him, has a vertical jump exceeding her own height.

Boomstick: She can kick apart crates even with really, really, terrible technique, and she doesn't have really, really terrible technique anymore.

Wiz: Perhaps her most destructive ability, besides occasionally breaking down a wall of the "fourth" variety, isn't a kick at all. After a jump, Coco can smash the ground below her with her feet, using enough force to cause a localized shockwave, or smash through multiple crates reinforced with iron bars. While breaking that kind of crate isn't as impressive as it sounds, considering she's putting her entire weight on it from a fall, the local shockwave can shatter ordinary wooden crates.

Boomstick: So what's a crate, exactly?

Wiz: The crates Coco deals with appear to be about 3 to 4 feet on a side. Shipping crates of those dimensions have a plywood wall thickness of about 1-1/8 inches to 1-1/4 inches, and while analyzing her shockwave in terms of real physics is an exercise in futility, that goes to show what kind of objects could be destroyed within approximately 5 feet of her if she wanted to break them.

Boomstick: So don't take her to a china shop! Why doesn't she do things on her own?

Wiz: Unfortunately, while Coco is physically mightier and much smarter than the average woman, her mental strength leaves a lot to be desired. Coco has been brainwashed twice, hypnotized, stunned, and despite what she's been through, she still has a rather childlike personality at the time of her latest appearance. It's as good an explanation as any as to why she gets Crash to do most of her dirty work, as the mental threats surrounding Dr. Cortex should not go understated--and Coco simply has no mental defenses.

Boomstick: I'd stay home if I could get brainwashed on my front lawn, too.

Wiz: Still, Coco has been integral to the battle against Dr. Cortex, matching his otherwise-overpowering technologies with her own interventions, both physical and mechanical. Despite her faults, Coco has done admirably in protecting Crash, the Wumpa Islands, and the entire world from the evil of Dr. Cortex.

Coco: All systems are ready and operational.

Bentley[]

Wiz: On an otherwise ordinary day in the Happy Camper Orphanage, a raccoon by the name of Sly Cooper was dropped off. The child quickly became friends with two other children, a pink hippopotamus kid--

Boomstick: And a turtle, Bentley. They pretty much immediately became thieves.

Wiz: Even as a child, Bentley was very intelligent, and has had experience with orchestrating plans for thievery from Day 1. You start with the cookie jar and a cup-and-string communication system as a little kid, build yourself up here and there, and sooner or later you're retroactively rewriting the history of a family of thieves because you built a semi-portable time machine.

Boomstick: Wait, back up a minute...

Wiz: Bentley's inventions are all over the map, but nothing really compares to the time machine he built with the aid of his girlfriend.

Boomstick: Unless you count his version of the Cooper Vault. The only way to get in is with the Cooper family cane, and even they can't do it any other way. You know, the guys that literally wrote the book on stealing.

(The cover of the Thievius Racoonus is displayed.)

Wiz: Bentley isn't only a director, though. He became a more direct field agent later into the Cooper Gang's escapades, using various types of bombs and crossbow darts. That is, until he was crushed by the maw of a possessed giant mechanical owl--no really, this is how the Sly Cooper universe goes--and paralyzed from the waist down.

Boomstick: No more field work for him!

Wiz: Hold your horses, Boomstick. Bentley's mechanical expertise allowed him to modify his wheelchair. Now it has a versatile set of thrusters, a pair of robotic arms, a binocucom, a short-lived forcefield for when he's throwing something from his wide selection of bombs--seriously, he didn't skimp on that--and is durable enough to resist everything that's been shown to take out Bentley himself. It even has a spin attack, where the chair hovers and tilts its wheels so that their edges strike their targets. It's no masonry-destroyer, but it gets the job done against ordinary people.

Boomstick: Someone never needed their legs in the first place, huh? Wiz, let's break your legs and put you in a chair like that!

Wiz: What? No! Anyway, among the varieties of Bentley's bombs are heat-seeking, sleeping gas, confusion gas, electrical blasts, even a "shrink ray" bomb, and his crossbow darts mirror this. His 'rage bombs' send targets into a fury, and he can even remotely detonate his trigger bombs. A single use of a directly explosive bomb can destroy a huge crate of about twelve feet on a side; these aren't Fourth of July sparklers. Oh, and they're sticky.

Boomstick: Bentley's defenses involve a bulletproof vest, bein' pretty much surrounded by a kinda-indestructable wheelchair most of the time, and his shell. Dependin' on what he's doing, Bentley's headgear changes, but it's iconically a bike helmet. Bentley's a safety freak; he's not goin' into this vulnerable.

Wiz: Speaking of his shell, Bentley isn't completely connected to it like a real turtle, so he could theoretically leave it if necessary. Interestingly, his shell contains a functioning incandescent light, which means Bentley has an at-least-rudimentary talent for biotechnology. He's also an experienced hacker, and can get through secured terminals in a matter of minutes. Unfortunately, Bentley has numerous weaknesses. Physically, he is very unimpressive, without any feats of strength and being paralyzed from the waist down. He used to be able to sprint cartoonishly fast, but that's obviously not an option anymore. Bentley also can't see very well, needing very thick glasses.

Boomstick: Which is why he uses his robotic arms most of the time. They can also work on their own, capable of playing tennis without Bentley even paying attention. Bentley's chair has a lot of power in it; there's even a jet engine kinda thing.

Wiz: See, Bentley is all about being prepared, and that's why he's made it this far as Sly's brains of the operation and his equal in the game of thievery. Bentley has held the Cooper Gang together and taken it all over the world and time itself. This turtle is not one to trifle with.

Bentley: EAT PHYSICS! (explosion)

DEATH BATTLE![]

Late at night, at the floor of a well-past-closing train station, an anthro bandicoot in overalls types at a laptop as she sits on a bench. She idly adjusts the brass goggles on her forehead and looks away from the screen for a bit.

The double doors unlock and open. Through them, an anthro turtle wheels his wheelchair across the tile floor, directly towards the bandicoot. She closes her laptop, sets it to the side, and approaches him.

Coco: I take it you didn't bring the chessboard either?

Bentley: Don't play dumb. It only makes things harder.

Shoe leather squeaks as she stops a fair distance from the turtle. The clicking of a wheel axle stops as he does likewise.

There are a few tense moments of silence as they spend time analyzing each other.

FIGHT!

Coco dashes forward and thrusts with a sideways kick. Bentley turns his chair just in time for the kick to hit the wheel, rattling him and the chair. Coco puts her leg back down in a smooth pivot and kicks again with her other leg, hitting the chair again. She hops over to be in front of Bentley, at which point he presses a button on his armrest. Thrusters emerge from the centers of the wheels and aim at her. Just before the thrusters fire, Coco jumps again, in the air for long enough for the thrusters to carry Bentley away. One of Bentley's mechanical arms tosses a bomb at her at the apex of her jump, and she responds with a tight spin-kick at the bomb, imparting enough force to overcome the stickiness an sending it back at Bentley. The bomb lands on Bentley's helmet. Thinking quickly, Bentley directs the arms to detach his helmet and sling it back towards the retreating Coco. The bomb explodes in midair between the two, sending blue fragments of helmet flying everywhere.

Now well-separated, the two stare at each other—Coco with her hands up as if ready to fight, but Bentley relaxed.

Coco [thinking]: Where have I seen this turtle before? What if I try...

Coco runs and jumps forward, above a thrown bomb. She lands on top of the wheelchair, one foot on each armrest. She proceeds to swing at Bentley's face a few times with wild punches.
Bentley: Ow! Hey!
Bentley retracts all of his limbs into his shell, and his mechanical arms start grabbing at Coco's overalls. She tries to slap them away a few times, but they have a firm grip, and she finally gets her way by kicking them both away in sequence. At that point, Bentley extends one arm from his shell, presses a button on an armrest, and the thrusters take him and the chair flying backwards. Coco stumbles and lands back-first on the ground. With a grunt, she stands back up again. Idly, she reaches into her overalls front pocket, to examine a strange protrusion....and pulls out a bomb, presumably inserted during the struggle. It explodes--

Coco [thinking]: I~ don't think I want that.

Meanwhile, Bentley looks over the bandicoot, idly placing something under his left armrest.

Bentley wheels on up as Coco runs towards him. He turns his wheelchair 90 degrees just in time to make her well-timed kick hit one of his wheels, and one of his mechanical arms sticks a bomb onto her shoe while it is temporarily tangled in the spokes. Coco tugs at the wheel more violently, clearly alarmed, at which point Bentley spins his wheelchair, tilting the wheels outwards and sending Coco flying back and tumbling end-over-end. When she gets up, she's smirking. Bentley looks down at her feet, notices one of her shoes is missing...and the bomb on the shoe stuck in his wheel explodes.

Bentley [thinking]: O-okay, bad idea. After a few moments, Bentley wheels forward to Coco, who is dashing closer. Two attacks connect: coco's spin-kick and Bentley's chair-spin. A thruster from Bentley's wheel activates, and Coco flinches as she jumps back. Bentley experimentally stars aiming a bomb held by a mechanical arm, activating his transparent forcefield. Coco watches for a split-second before running forward again, jumping, and scampering onto the top of the hemispherical shield. She jumps in preparation for a stomp attack, but Bentley rockets forth via jet engine in time to avoid it. He escapes the shockwave safely and spins around, entering another face-off and now holding onto his crossbow.

Coco [thinking]: I remember now—he's from that videogame! Maybe I can take one of his weapons?

Coco approaches again and jumps forward, but stops short of landing on the chair itself. She grabs the sides of the crossbow, but Bentley just pulls the trigger as he quirks an eyebrow, sending a dart into her. Coco starts stumbling and looking around in a swirly-eyed daze. Bentley repeatedly spin-attacks her, eventually forcing her onto the ground, at which point he shoots another dart. Coco's eyes close as she immediately falls asleep. Bentley rolls his chair over her so that the jet engine points at her body, then presses a button--

Coco [thinking]: Nope. Definitely not.

Bentley continues analyzing.

Bentley [thinking]: She's fast. I should distract her.

Bentley's mechanical arms fling bombs wildly in rapid succession. Coco dashes around in erratic paths, stopping and turning around several times to avoid well-places bombs. Bentley starts trying sleep bombs and electricity bombs, aiming to stun her, Suddenly, she gets close, jumps forward, and grabs one of the mechanical arms. She yanks it to her side and touches it to a ticking electricity bomb, which promptly explodes, sending all the voltage through the arm and into the chair--

Bentley [thinking]: Well I'm not doing it that way; that's for sure.

The two speed at each other once more. At nearly the same time, they spring upwards and spin at each other, their attacks once again connecting. As Bentley lands, Coco slams her feet into the ground, and a shockwave washes over Bentley. His chair, as well as his body, are mostly fine. His glasses, however, shatter. Alarmed, Bentley points his thrusters to rush backwards, while his mechanical arms place bombs directly on the tile floor in a trail behind him. Coco weaves around to her right, rushing towards Bentley as bombs explode behind her. One over several strategically misplaced bombs explodes a bit closer to her, which causes her to tumble out away from the trail. Panting, she gets up and brushes bits of tile off her overalls.

Bentley [thinking]: This isn't working! Maybe if I get her with a shrink bomb...

Bentley drops a bomb close to his feet and aims another one, bringing up the forcefield. Coco approaches to a safe distance from the bomb. She doesn't flinch at the explosion. Through the fire, Another bomb is tossed, which sticks to the off-guard Coco's overalls. She pries it off, but it explodes in her hand...and suddenly she is but half a foot tall.
Bentley rolls forward, aiming thrusters. Coco expertly jumps onto one of the wheel tires, runs along its top, and jumps into the back of the chair while Bentley is spinning and directing the mechanical arms, trying to grab her. Deep inside the mysterious metal hull of the chair, Coco tears at a few wires, reconnects them within seconds, and jumps back out. She returns to normal size while running away. The chair, now hacked, completely locks up, with Bentley struggling to get out of it. Coco pivots and rushes back to him--

Bentley [thinking]: Let's not and say we did.

Bentley readies a sleep bomb. Coco runs forward, jumps, and runs along the top of the shield. Bentley throws the bomb up at her as she slides down the back of the shield, landing unceremoniously on her feet when the shield disappears. She spins around and kicks at the back of Bentley's chair, knocking the turtle out of it. Bentley now lays five feet in front of the chair, and retreats into his shell. Coco hops into the chair, looks down at the keypad, and starts driving the chair backwards. Satisfied at the distance, she fiddles with the keypad again.

Coco: How about you take a bomb this time.

Suddenly, the mechanical arms grabs at Coco's arms and twist them behind her back. She groans and starts yanking at the machines, but her awkward siting position prevents her from getting any leverage.

Bentley: Hey, uh...question.

Coco glares at the shell.

Bentley: Do you think they can't explode just because they're in my chair?

Coco's eyes widen. Half-screaming, she keeps trying to pull her arms away. From within his shell, Bentley presses the big, red, shiny button a on remote control.

The trigger bomb on the underside of his left armrest explodes, and a chain reaction begins.

Bentley is sent skidding across the tile floor from the force of a massive detonation that engulfs the chair in flames. Metal parts fly everywhere, but the few that get to Bentley just bounce off his shell. After several tense moments, Bentley peeks his head out from his shell.

The binocucom lands next to him. He picks it up and looks through it, zooming in on the chair. He can't see much of what's left of it beyond a lot of fire and a lot of blackness inside it.

Bentley: Murray? Can you come pick me up?

KO!

Results[]

Boomstick: Ka-BOOM!

Wiz: This match was difficult to evaluate. Coco's physical talent was enough to keep up with Bentley's lack of precision and agility in throwing bombs, but getting through Bentley's precautions was another story. These combatants are not very good at actually taking each other out, so it comes down to how effectively and creatively they can use their abilities.

Boomstick: And that goes to Bentley. It's not even in question.

Wiz: Coco might be intelligent enough to design machines, but she's not the best at actual planning. She's significantly more direct than Bentley, and by that, we mean that she's the kind of person to forget to bring a jacket for a freezing environment.

Boomstick: She actually did that in Wrath of Cortex. She's not good at foresight.

Wiz: On the other hand, Bentley has planned dozens of escapades and operations for the Cooper gang. He's even been shown to improvise well, when he used the feathers on his crossbow darts as acoustic transceivers during a prison break. Coco, on the other hand, usually reacts to sudden threats by being brainwashed or otherwise becoming rescue-bait for Crash. There's an argument that Bentley isn't nearly as good at planning on the spot, but there's also no reason to expect Coco to be any better, because of her relative lack of experience—remember, she gets Crash to do her dirty work.

Boomstick: That and, well...Bentley's smarter.

Wiz: Coco built a teleporter. That's great, but Bentley built a portable time machine, the new Cooper vault, and his chair. Coco's other inventions are largely useless. She once tried to make something that would recycle butter. I mean, really. That's not a joke. She actually did that. Bentley was more useful as a small child.

Boomstick: Coco just couldn't handle bein' in the hot seat.

Wiz: The winner is Bentley.

Next Time[]

Boomstick: Next time oooooon Death Battle:

Gold litters the floor in a dark, brownish cave. An oddly-shaped brown boulder lay atop it at the edge of the point of view. A large green emerald is perched atop the gold.

The sound of multiple footsteps clattering against the coin gradually fades in. After about ten seconds, the reflections on one patch of gold take on a distinct purple tint as something gets close. Suddenly, a crack on the boulder opens, revealing a yellow eye. The "boulder", now clearly a dragon head, spews a gout of flame towards the source of the purpleness before the image cuts out to black.

THE REWRITE

Trivia[]

This is KZN's fourth Death Battle.

This battle was 'previewed' by ParaGoomba348. The editorial changes were minimal.

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