| Mechanical fight to the delayed death! | |
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| Season 1, Episode 4 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | Unknown |
| Written by | The Smashor |
| Directed by | The Smashor |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Turbo Mecha Sonic vs Abobo | The Prince of all Cosmos vs Grey Goo |
Description[]
Clone Drone in the Danger Zone vs 20XX. These abused robots fight for different reasons in different ways. But the end result is usually the same. Death. Who will live to die another day?
Intro[]
Wiz: Machines. They make our lives better, and normally scientists treat them right. You know, preventing the robots from hating humans and killing us with their far superior strength and all that. I'd like to have a word with the ones who built these two.
Boomstick: The Clone Drone, from the Danger Zone
Wiz: And Nina, the contractor from 20XX
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to see who would win a Death Battle.
Clone Drone[]
Boomstick: Wiz?
Wiz: What?
Boomstick: The hell is this game's story? Like, we have the basics, but we don't have the year, the name of the planet of robots that kills people before putting their minds into a robot to have them fight in some arena against other robots without human minds?
???: Wow. You got it!
???: Yes! Most impressive for feeble humans!
Boomstick: Is it just me or are we being talked to by text-to-speach?
???: Rude.
Boomstick: Wiz?
Wiz: No, Boomstick. Your not hearing things that don't exist. I hear them too.
Boomstick: I'm having Deadpool flashbacks.
???: Who is dead and why do you want their pool?
Boomstick: Alright. WHO THE @!%!$ ARE YOU AND HOW THE $!@^# ARE YOU TALKING TO US?!?!
Analysis-Bot: I am Analysis-Bot. He is Commentatron.
Commentatron: What is with the silence? Play some music or something!
Analysis-Bot: Good idea! Ooh, look at this random song!
(Cue Hardware Store Instrumental)
Wiz: And now their controlling the music cues. Just great.
Analysis-Bot: What are they using to play this music? Tools? Oh, and there's drill sounds too!
Boomstick: So then, we just have to deal with this. I can't even shoot them because they're not here. What's the purpose of a shotgun leg if you don't even get to use it?
Commentatron: Anyway, we are here to explain our amazing technological weapons to you primitive humans so you surrender quickly. Though you probably won't even be able to comprehend them. First, we have the Sword!
Wiz: Swords have been irrelevant in combat on earth for, well, I don't even know off the top of my head, actually. That's how long it's been.
Analysis-Bot: SILENCE PATHETIC HUMAN. The sword is a Laser Sword that can block energy projectiles and can cut through metals stronger that Titanium. Honestly, alloys comparable to your Earth Titanium is the bare minimum in our society.
Boomstick: Are we seriously going to keep playing Weird Al's "Hardware Store"?
Commentatron: It can also be upgraded with fire, witch easily melts through most metals.
Wiz: Or maybe it's just because the metals on your planet have a fatal flaw witch make them weak to fire.
Commentatron: Fire is a major part of combat on our planet. If there was a way to resist it we would know.
Boomstick: Alright...
Wiz: Since your metal is at least comparable to Titanium, that would mean that, in order to melt the robots with such ease, the sword would have to be over three thousand degrees Fahrenheit, or over sixteen thousand degrees Celsius.
Analysis-Bot: There's also the Bow, witch shoots laser arrows that can also be lit on fire! We also use a revolutionary technology that allows the vision of the robot to slow, quickening their reactions!
Wiz: Great, another character that can "See Faster". Plus a metal stronger and lighter than titanium. How am I not surprised?
Commentatron: There's also the Hammer, witch can't block or be blocked. Oh, and both can be enhanced with fire. Plus there's laser armor, fire breath, the Kick move and the Jetpack. Some humans have even defeated strong combat robots like Spider-Tron 5000!
Boomstick: Wait... That's it?
Analysis-Bot: There are also five clones that the clone drone in the danger arena uses. But after they're gone the human dies.
Boomstick: Good. Now we're done with this. Can you piss off now?
Commentatron: I do not know what this phrase means, but we in fact are leaving now.
Analysis-Bot: Bye!
A few seconds pass
Wiz: Thank god their gone...
A drone cuts a Spidertron-6000 in half.
Nina[]
(Cue 20XX Title)
Wiz: It was the year 20XX, and the robots were attacking.
Boomstick: Why?
Wiz: I honestly don't know. Story is not the strong suit of these two games. Though if I were to guess, it would be due to the way the scientists treat their robots.
Boomstick: What makes you say that?
Two robots enter a pod with a window between them and two scientists. One hits a "Payment" button and they both explode.
Boomstick: Alright. I can see how this happened.
Wiz: Fortunately, there was two robots willing to fight the rebelling machines called contractors. Unfortunately, we just saw them.
Boomstick: Oh. Welp, that world's done for.
Wiz: But, to explain a bit, humans developed something called "Soul Chips". This allowed Robots to have the mental capacity of a human and be rebuilt with all of their memories in tact. This made robots go insane and it may or may not have been caused entirely by one megacorp called "The Board". As well as everything that happens in the game.
Boomstick: I knew it.
Wiz: I just told you about this.
Boomstick: I KNEW it.
(Cue Frostor Datafrost)
Wiz: The first of the aforementioned contractors is Nina. Her main weapon is the N-Buster, witch
Boomstick: Is literally just the Mega Buster. Nothing to see here. But she also has a few other weapons, like the Forkulator or the Star Beam that let her shoot in multiple directions at once. The Scatterblast is an immensely powerful close range blast and the Wave Beam can phase through walls.
Wiz: There's also her various powers that she gained from defeating some of the rebel robots. They can do things like rapidly fire a barrage of low damage shots, fire one massive slow shot, shoot a splitting ice projectile, create a projectile destroying shockwave or a shield made of fire.
Boomstick: Then there's her Augments, witch generally increase her stats, give her new minor abilities, increse the chances of her finding a certain place or create drone things to murder everything in sight. Wait what was that second to last one?
Wiz: The strongest of these are the Core Augs and Prototypes.
Boomstick: The Core Augs are pieces of armor that can do things like improve her defence, her speed, her basic attacks, or the effictiveness of her powers. The Prototype Augments give Nina a large upside but it comes with a MASSIVE downside.
Wiz: The Sanity Converter converts a robot's very sanity into power damage.
Boomstick: The Violence Enhancer greatly improves the damage Nina takes and receives. The Consuming Fury slowly increases Nina's damage output at the cost of slowly throwing her further into agony. What is it with these prototypes and fucking with these robot's minds?
Wiz: Nina has defeated several powerful machines, and even rose up against her creators with the help of fellow contractor Ace and Al the training robot. In the final battle, she can even defeat mass production models of herself and Ace in a few hits.
Nina, Ace and Al break into an escape pod and get away from the space station they just destroyed
Interlude[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
Fight[]
It was an almost normal day in the arena. The main difference was that the human currently fighting in it was doing far better than any before them. They hadn't died once and was in Titanium already. They had just destroyed a Spidertron 6000 and were heading back down to the orbital elevator to get their last upgrade. It was almost a shame the emperor wasn't there that day.
Commentatron: Wow, this human is on a roll!
Analysis-Bot: I see no human bread products.
Suddenly, a blue beam fell into the arena just as the human went back up the elevator.
Analysis-Bot: Huh? Something that looks like a human has just teleported into the arena.
Commentratron: But it's probably not a human. Their pathetic primitive technology would never be able to reach this planet. Perhaps this is a new combat robot.
This "new combat robot" was none other than Nina. And she wasn't a combat robot made by this world. The drone walked out of the elevator.
Analysis-Bot: Why are they just standing there? Well? Fight already!
FIGHT![]
(Cue CDitDZ arena theme)
Nina fired a few shots with her N-Buster at the Clone Drone. The drone pulled out a bow and countered with a rapid firing of arrows. Nina charged the N-Buster and fired a larger blue shot that vaporized the arrows. The drone dodged out of the way and dashed in with the Jetpack. Nina fired more shots, but they were all dodged before the drone kicked Nina to the ground. They then pulled out a burning laser sword and swung downward at her. Nina blew the drone back with the Force Nova. She then aimed her buster at the drone, firing three shots. The drone blocked them with the sword. Nina then, visibly frustrated, began using the machine gun. An exclamation point appeared over the Clone Drone's head before they jetpacked away from the rapid assault of energy projectiles, occasionally firing arrows, forcing Nina to dodge out of the way. This did not stop her from shooting.
(Music Stops)
Suddenly the onslaught stopped. A clicking noise came from the N-Buster.
(Cue Escape)
The drone begins jetpacking at Nina again. Nina fires a few shots, which are dodged. Suddenly, the Clone Drone pulls out a hammer. Nina dashes away from the attack. Suddenly, she happens upon a strange green teleporter.
Analysis-Bot: What is that? How did it get there?
Commentatron: I do not know.
(The music begins to distort before slowly stopping)
She walks in and sees a red holograph of an odd man.
???: BECOME MIGHTY
There are two objects laying on the floor. A candle and a darkened head surrounded by red and blue. Nina picks up both before her eyes light up red. Nina leaves the Very Safe Lab. The drone was waiting outside, bow stretched. Nina teleported back before slowly walking out, crushing a capsule with a picture of a bolt of electricity, a slasher smile on her face.
(Cue F_Part3)
Nina dashed towards the drone. The drone fired an arrow, cutting off a finger from one of Nina's arms. Nina doesn't care and continues dashing towards her enemy, a shield of fire blocking the next arrow. Nina then attempted to fire the N-Buster but realized her arm had melted off. The drone then dashed towards her, sword ready to slice her in half. Nina simply fired a shot with her other arm, creating a massive hole in the Clone Drone's chest.
(Music Stops)
Analysis-Bot: Ouch.
One of the drone's five clones' eyes light up and run back to the elevator.
(Cue Dark Matter OCR remix)
The drone cocks their bow and fires a fire arrow at Nina. Nina narrowly dodges and fires back N-Buster shots. The Clone Drone then dodges and cocks the bow, time seemingly slowing around them.
(Music Slows)
The drone rapidly fires arrows, using the enhanced reactions to their advantage. Time then goes back to full speed.
(Music goes back to full speed)
Nina throws a Boomerang Blade at the arrows. The arrows easily melt through it. Nina then dodges out of the way, only to see another arrow a few inches from her face. Nina then creates a shield of fire around her that incinerates the arrow. The Drone runs in with a sword while Nina is charging her N-Buster. The sword bounces off the fire shield, but destroying part of it. In that part, Nina's arm fires a massive shot, disintegrating most of the Clone Drone.
(Music goes quiet)
Commentatron: It appears that this robot is much stronger than our normal combat robots.
Analysis-Bot: Yes.
Yet another clone's eyes light up. The clone walks over to the Upgrade-Bot. Meanwhile, in the Arena...
Analysis-Bot: I wonder why the Human was saving any upgrade points anyway?
Suddenly, the elevator rose, and the Clone Drone was wearing armor, looking like orange holographs.
(Cue Alternate World Diego theme)
The drone jetpacked at Nina. With her remaining arm, Nina grabbed at her face, gaining both power and agony. She then aimed the N-Buster at the drone and fired some shots. The drone dodged them before reflecting one back with a sword, accept now it was on fire. Nina then jumped into the air over the Clone Drone, the drone grabbing the bow and firing several shots meant to catch Nina in mid-air. Nina then used a Boomerang Blade to break open the elevator into the upgrade room before shooting the gap.
Analysis-Bot: What?!
Commentatron: Don't do that!
Nina jumped down. The Drone followed.
Analysis-Bot: I'm starting to think that this isn't our combat robot.
Commentatron: Security!
Several robots looking similar to the clone drone as well as Spider-Tron 5000s and 6000s drop into the arena. Meanwhile, in the upgrade room, the drone and Nina continue fighting. The drone pulls out a hammer and attempts to drop it on Nina. Nina dashes out of the way and fires several shots. The clone drone hides behind upgrade-bot. As it turns out, she wasn't just aiming for the Drone, but also their clones. A level 4 robot, with its burning armor and sword, comes down the hole in the elevator, followed by several others. The drone jetpacks and slashes the ones on the right side while an N-Buster charge shot destroys the rest. Nina then destroys Upgrade-Bot, seeing an icon of what looked like three plasma shots in the wreckage. She picked it up and fired a shot at the window, shattering it. The drone followed in pursuit as alarms went off. Buzzsaws attempted to cut the two as Nina fired Forkulator shots. The Clone Drone hid behind one of the buzzsaws, it blocking the attack for the most part, but creating some smoke. Out of the smoke came several arrows and a jetpacking clone drone. Nina was able to dodge the arrows but was kicked onto the ground by the drone, who then backed off. Nina soon knew why. She narrowly dodged the buzzsaw by rolling backward. The drone then pulled out a hammer and attempted to attack after dodging a buzzsaw, but Nina fell onto the ground behind the conveyor belt. The drone soon saw that this was a Glory Zone. The drone jumped in. There was a long pathway with lasers and spikes everywhere. The drone looked behind them and saw a swarm of bats. The drone began getting past the platforming gauntlet, only to see Nina with a level 3 charge from a core Aug she picked up at the end of the zone. Dracopent's Claw. Three massive orange shots came out of the N-Buster, disintegrating the Clone Drone for the last time.
K.O.!
Results[]
(Cue Victory!)
Boomstick: Why do I feel like I just saw that but the blocky one won?
Wiz: No clue. Anyway, these two are actually fairly even. The Clone Drone's titanium melting feat puts it at about 3,168 kilojoules, making it solidly wall level. Meanwhile, Nina defeated Vile Visage, who is literally a giant robot head on a wall.
Boomstick: Wait, how the hell did those places even appear?
Wiz: That, and everything else strange that happened in the fight, can generally be explained with Augs. As we mentioned earlier, Nina has augs that can make it guaranteed for a certain teleporter to be in an area. Nina's sheer variety far overshadows any advantages the Clone Drone might have.
Boomstick: But what about that time the Clone Drone dodged a laser?
Wiz: That was initially aimed on the ground, meaning he was reacting to the robot's movement, not the laser itself.
Boomstick: I guess the Clone Drone just wasn't in the zone to receive any glory.
Wiz: The winner is Nina.
