| Clementine vs Mitsuko Souma | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Season 6, Episode 8 | |
| Air date | October 17, 2021 |
| Written by | I'm Lynda |
| Episode guide | |
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Clementine vs Mitsuko Souma is a What-If? Death Battle by I'm Lynda. It features Clementine from the video game, The Walking Dead: Road to Survival, and Mitsuko Souma from the Battle Royale media franchise.
Description[]
These girls are survivors, used to doing whatever it takes to stay alive. But...what happens when they meet?
Interlude[]
Boomstick: Gorillas, the mighty rules of the jungles of Central Sub-Saharan Africa...
Wiz: Wait, what?! Boomstick: The combatants in this battle are two gorillas.
Wiz: No, they’re not, they’re girls! [Sigh.] Alright, let’s start again. Girls, they can seem pretty weak and helpless...
Boomstick: “Sugar and spice, and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of.”
Wiz: Right, but when the chips are down, girls are likely to surprise you. Like Clementine from the video game, The Walking Dead: Road to Survival
Boomstick: And like Mitsuko Souma from the Battle Royale media franchise, who looks nothing like a gorilla.
Wiz: I’m Wiz, and this rather confused man here is Boomstick.
Boomstick: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Wait a minute...
Clementine[]
Wiz: Clementine had a fairly typical childhood, growing up in Atlanta, Georgia.
Boomstick: Fairly typical that is, until after her eighth birthday, when the zombie apocalypse occurred!
Wiz: After hiding out in a tree house, Clem was eventually rescued by a bad-ass named Lee Everett. He taught her everything that she needed to know to survive in this new, unforgiving world, including how to shoot.
Boomstick: He tried to teach her how not to get bitten by the walking dead, but he wasn’t that great at that skill himself. And, one day, he got bit, leaving it up to Clementine to make sure that he didn’t become one of the walking dead, by shooting him in the head.
Wiz: As you might expect in a post-apocalypse world, things didn’t get much better after that. She met a group of people, including a woman who gave birth to a baby boy, who she named Alvin Junior, or A.J. for short.
Boomstick: The people she liked, and even loved, never seemed to survive for very long, but her desire to protect A.J., and give him a fighting chance, kept her going.
Wiz: Sadly, sometimes the greatest threat to Clementine was not the walking dead, but the living people, some of whom were not what they seemed to be, and some of whom were, unfortunately, exactly what they seemed to be.
Boomstick: She and A.J. continued to travel the dangerous new world, until one day, when that faulty “How Not to Get Bit” training caught up with her. You see, she got bit in the leg, and was tough enough to ask A.J. to kill her with an axe. Fortunately, he only used it to cut off her leg, keeping the infection from spreading.
Wiz: Eventually Clementine and A.J. found a home at an old boarding school. Was that the end? Is there ever really an end?
Boomstick: Yeah, but only until the next game comes out. Anyway, Clementine is a very versatile fighter, being adept at using found and improvised weapons.
Wiz: At one time or another, she has used everything from an ice pick, to a bow and arrow, to a Glock 15 semi-automatic pistol.
Boomstick: But, she is also a rather good fighter with her dukes. When she took on Minerva, she wrestled her gun away from her, and succeeded in getting away with her and A.J.’s lives.
Wiz: That’s right, Clementine is not a martial arts master, but she is smart and resourceful, and downright ruthless, when the situation calls for it.
Boomstick: Take this little girl lightly at your own peril!
Mitsuko Souma[]
Wiz: Mitsuko Souma did *not* enjoy a typical childhood, with different retellings of her story each differing one from the other. What seems clear is that she had no father to protect her, and her probably-alcoholic mother began pimping her out when she was about nine-years-old. She was subjected to all sorts of physical and sexual abuse, which left her emotionally scarred.
Boomstick: By the time she got into her teenage years, Mitsuko was a cold and manipulative young woman. The girls of her school were all afraid of her, while the boys were all too often willing to do her bidding to get her sexual favors. She might steal another girl’s boyfriend, just to spite her, or she might even arrange to have a boy harm a girl who had earned her anger.
Wiz: Mitsuko’s luck changed, and not really for the better, when her class was selected to participate in the Japanese Government’s Millennium Educational Reform Act program. This Act was drafted to curb unemployment and juvenile delinquency by taking a high school class, removing them to an isolated island, and forcing them to fight to the death, until there was only one left. For this reason the Act was also referred to as the “BR Act,” or “Battle Royale Act.”
Boomstick: The teacher for Mitsuko’s class objected to his students being subjected this, so the military men running the program convinced him to stop arguing by shooting him full of little, round holes. As you might imagine, such reasoning is usually pretty persuasive.
Wiz: Each of the students was fitted with a special collar. This allowed the men running the program to monitor the location and health of each of the students.
Boomstick: Each of the collars was also fitted with a bomb. If the students tried to remove the collar, it exploded. If the students tried to leave the island, it exploded. And, just to keep things lively, the island was divided into sectors, and periodically a sector would become hot, and any collar within that sector would also explode.
Wiz: To make the bloodbath happen, each of the students was provided with a backpack containing food, water, a map of the island, a compass, a flashlight, and a random weapon.
Boomstick: The so-called weapon could range from something as lame as a bullhorn, to something as useful as a submachine gun.
Wiz: When Mitsuko found that her weapon was a kama, a martial arts sickle, she was rather disappointed. However, when she found classmate Megumi Eto, she slit the girl’s throat and took her weapon, a taser. This showed her that she could always trade up in weaponry.
Boomstick: Using trickery, stealth, seduction, or just plain badassery, she cut a swath through her class, gaining better weapons, and working towards being the last one standing.
Wiz: But, eventually, she came up against Kazuo Kiriyama, a rather violet young man who liked the Battle Royale at least as much as Mitsuko did. He shot her with a submachine gun, and thinking her dead, went to loot her body. Mitsuko, however, was not finished. She used her taser to get the upper hand, and then went in for the killing blow with her kama.
Boomstick: Unfortunately for her, Kuzuo was wearing a bulletproof vest, which protected him from the blow, and allowed him to draw his pistol and shoot her three times with that. But, even then, she wasn’t done, and she *still* went on fighting. A final shot to the head, finished Mitsuko, and took her out of the running to win the Battle Royale.
Wiz: Mitsuko has shown herself to be lethal with everything from guns and knives, to improvised weapons, to just plain using her hands.
Boomstick: She’s not a trained assassin, but if you let your guard down around this little girl, you are going to end up just one more notch in the fatalities column. Look for the girl with the broken smile, she’s armed and considered extremely dangerous!
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set; let’s end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: Its time for a DEATH BATTLE!
DEATH BATTLE![]
Pre-Fight =[]
Clementine walked through the trees, keeping all of her senses strained. She had heard gunshots earlier, which always meant danger.
It could be that someone was fending off some walking dead, and if so, there could be more just about anywhere.
Or, it could be living people. Bitter experience had shown her that they could be more dangerous than the zombies!
She held the SIG-Sauer P250 in her hands, ready for any eventuality.
Suddenly, a young Asian girl burst out of the foliage and stopped short in surprise. Clementine raised her pistol, and pointed it at the other girl.
The Asian girl smiled a bright smile, and began speaking in some foreign language.
When the girl stopped talking, Clementine shook her head and said, “I don’t understand your language.”
Mitsuko studied the girl for a moment, and then cleared her throat and said, “You are not from...” She didn’t know the words in English, so she gestured futilely. “This.”
When she gestured, she raised her kama, causing Clementine to tense and raise her gun, ready to fire.
Seeing the reaction, Mitsuko dropped her weapon to the ground. She smiled nervously, and resumed speaking. “I am sorry." Then, she switched subjects.
“You are not wearing a collar,” she said, pointing to the device about her neck.
Clementine slightly lowered her gun, peering at the strange device around the other girl’s neck. “What is that?” she asked.
Mitsuko could not understand what was going on. This gaijin woman was not part of the Battle Royale, but here she was. She didn't appear to even know anything about the Battle Royale. This situation had possibilities.
She contemplated smiling, but decided to go for sympathy instead.
Mitsuko looked at the ground and said, "They took my entire class, put us here, and gave us one weapon each."
She nodded down at her kama, and shrugged, "That was mine," she said. Then she looked up at Clementine and smiled shyly.
Clementine lowered her gun, and asked, "And the necklace?"
Mitsuko took a step forward, leaned her head back, and touched the collar.
“It’s a bomb that some evil men put on me,” she said, trying to look like she was about to start crying. “If I don’t kill my friends for their entertainment, then they will make the necklace explode, and kill me!”
Clementine stuck her pistol in her belt, and reached up to touch Mitsuko’s necklace. This was just the moment that she had been waiting for!
FIGHT! []
Suddenly, Mitsuko’s hand shot out, and she palm punched Clementine in the nose.
Clementine’s head snapped back, the force of the blow sending her stumbling backward.
Mitsuko snatched up her kama, but before she could pounce on the prone woman, she began to draw her pistol.
Mitsuko leaped through some bushes, drawing her own pistol. She fired back towards where the other woman was, and was answered by several shots in return.
Clementine stepped behind a tree, and looked towards where the other woman had gone. She briefly wondered what her game was, but then put the thought aside. Here-and-now, too many people were irrational and dangerous, wondering why was like wondering why the rain fell from the sky.
She saw some movement, and fired two more shots in that direction.
Suddenly, a bullet slammed into her tree, mere inches from her face, sending a spray of bark chips flying. She pulled back, behind the tree, and waited.
Mitsuko circled to her left, and looked for another opportunity to fire. She needed to flush her opponent out, and finish her in the open.
She saw the woman’s dirty hat appear, so she fired at it.
Clementine pulled her hand back, which was holding the hat. Now she knew where her opponent was! She stepped out, and fired a spray of bullets in that direction.
When the gun ceased firing, the slide indicating that it was empty, Clementine stepped back behind the tree, donned her hat, ejected the empty magazine, and replaced it with a full one. Then she peered around the tree, looking for another shot.
Mitsuko silently cursed. The bastards from the Army had given out weapons, but no extra ammunition. Once her bullets were gone, her gun was useless. This gaijin woman, on the other hand did not have that limitation.
What should she do, she wondered. She could slip away, and look for another, easier, target, or she could do something daring. Perhaps now was the time for daring!
She began running towards the tree that the other woman was behind. She fired her gun as she ran, carefully timing each shot.
Just as she got to the tree, the slide of the gun caught in its rearmost position, showing that it was empty. She dropped the gun and raised her kama.
The other’s pistol came around the tree, and Mitsuko slashed down, hoping to take the woman’s hand off at the wrist. Instead, she missed the hand and struck the gun, knocking it out of her hand.
Mitsuko grabbed Clementine’s right hand in her left, and pulled her out from behind the tree. She raised her kama, and brought it down for a killing blow, but Clementine grabbed the descending arm, blocking the attack.
The two women wrestled, their arms moving up and down as each fought to gain an advantage over the other.
Suddenly, Mitsuko turned pivoted, taking a half-step backward. Then, she pulled Clementine over into a flip. She landed on her back in the grass. Mitsuko raised her kama, and brought it down as hard as she could.
Clementine rolled to the side at the last second, causing the weapon to strike harmlessly into the mud. Before Mitsuko could pull the weapon out, Clementine leaped to her feet, and delivered a right uppercut into the other woman’s stomach. Then, she followed with a left hook to the cheek. Then, she interlaced her fingers together, and swung her two fists into the left of Mitsuko’s face, causing the woman to stagger and collapse to the ground., well away from the kama.
Mitsuko put her hand on the ground, and found it to be resting on the handle of a pistol! She wrapped her hand around the handle, and leaped up, her face beaming with triumph. She held the gun in two hands and pointed it at Clementine, who stopped short at the sight of the barrel pointed right at her.
Then, both women noticed that the slide was back. It was Mitsuko’s empty gun!
Before her opponent could react, Clementine stepped forward, and kicked her right leg out, catching Mitsuko in the stomach and sending her reeling backward. She crashed into the tree, and did a half-turn away from the other.
Clementine leaped onto Mitsuko’s back, and wrapped her arm around the other woman’s throat, cutting off her air supply.
Mitsuko pulled futilely at the arm, and then she brought her elbow back as hard as she could, into her opponent’s stomach. She elbowed her once, twice, and then a third time. And then the arm loosened. Mitsuko grabbed the arm, and leaned forward, flipping Clementine over her back and onto the ground.
Mitsuko looked back to where the kama was. She leaped back over to it and wrenched it from the ground.
Clementine, felt something hard and pointy under her back. She rolled to the side, and grabbed up a pistol. She desperately hoped that it was her own loaded gun. As Mitsuko charged at her, she raised the pistol and squeezed the trigger. The pistol jerked in her hand as it fired, striking the Asian girl and sending her staggering to the side.
She raised her sickle, so Clementine fired a second time, throwing her opponent backward onto the grass, where she lay still.
Clementine walked over to the prone body of her opponent. She pushed the pistol into the other woman’s face turning her head lifelessly to the side. Then, she peered closer at the strange collar that she was wearing.
Suddenly, Mitsuko came alive with a scream! She swung the kama and stabbed it into Clementine’s left thigh.
Clementine cried out in pain.
Then, Mitsuko leaped up, and slashed the kama across Clementine’s throat. Blood sprayed out in a gory fountain.
Clementine collapsed to her knees, the life draining out of her eyes. Then she fell face-down onto the grass and lay still.
K.O.! []
Mitsuko kicked the pistol out of the other woman’s hand, and then she bent down and picked it up for herself. Blood seeped from her own wounds. She needed to find someone she could trick into giving her first aid. Perhaps that cute boy, Shuya Nanahara.
Then, she would kill him.
Results[]
Boomstick: Whoa. That’s all I’ve got to say.
Wiz: Yeah, the two combatants were pretty fairly matched. Clementine had probably received more training than Mitsuko, but what Mitsuko lacked in training she made up for with sheer ruthlessness and native ability.
Boomstick: What gave Mitsuko an edge was her ability to tank damage. She was shot at least four time, at close range, and she still came up swinging.
Wiz: Would she long survive the damage that Clementine could dish out? It’s hard to say. But, she would likely survive long enough to make Clementine pay.
Boomstick: And that is why the winner is the girl with the broken smile...and razor sharp sickle, Mitsuko Souma.
Trivia[]
- “Look for the girl with the broken smile...” is a reference to the Maroon 5 song, “She Will Be Loved.”