Summary[]
Kuroshitsuji VS Marvel
will the amazing spiderman show justice or will the spider butler obey his master's order?
Interlude[]
Boomstick: Spiders, they scared the shit out of you as a kid, but somehow the Spider managed to be the inspiration for these two.
Wiz: Whether good or evil, the outlook on the spider was changed when these two started showing up, Claude Faustus, the trancy Spider Butler.
Boomstick: And Peter Parker, the Spiderman, He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle
Claude Faustus[]
(Cue Shiver)
Wiz: When jim macken became desparate to escape from this pit of despair called the Trancy mansion, he summoned a spider demon who went by the name Claude Fauesuts, by the words.
Alois Trancy: Hoheo Taralna, Rondero Tarel
*Claude’s eyes turn red at cue*
Boomstick: And thus Jim or rather Alois did the worst thing that british people from victorian era would do…make a deal with the devil literally.
Wiz: Disguised as the trancy butler, Claude serves and protects Alois with his life. Claude often carries around a endless supply of gold knives that he can use to throw at opponents. These knives are ordinary kitchen knives. But claude throws them with enough force that it can at least pierce flesh.
Boomstick: As well as throwing ordinary knives, Claude can catch thrown knives and at least not cut his flesh.
Wiz: As a demon, Claude’s senses and abilities are automatically raised. His strength allows him to lift cars and more heavy crap.
Boomstick: Claude also has enhaunced durability. He can take a falling building to the body and can actually withstand bullets and stab wounds
Wiz: Claude’s demon abilties also include enhanced speed and somehow the ability to run and kick on water and apparantly each kick releases…. yeah I don’t get this eithier.
Boomstick: But what makes him more special than everyone’s favourite black butler, but not mine, is that his freaky spider powers.
Wiz: Claude carries around a staff. This staff can generate strings like spider’s threads. Despite it’s shiny exterior, it actually is as hard as steal. Claude can use this to corner opponents at trap them like flies in a…well…spider’s web. These threads can also pull him or stuff towards him. Sadly we will not be including Lavetirum in this fight
Boomstick: Yeah, poor hannah, having a sword being pulled out your throat must’ve been a pain His demon form, despite not being shown much in the anime and he isn’t even mentioned in the manga, is basically a humongus spider that can devour souls. Good luck kill that shit with insecticide.
Wiz: Despite being demon, claude isn’t perfect. He can get arrogant when in combat or too chaotic. Both can leave him unprepared, sloppy and therefore vulnerable.
Boomstick: He also isn’t quite immune to weapons as he thinks he is. Demons can be killed by the blade of Laevateinn, which is a hellish sword formed from…well…hell. They also can be weakened by grim reaper blades. Not only that but he’s got a freakishly long tongue that even ghirahim would be even proud of, not that it’s a weakness or anything but still.
Wiz: Although Claude isn’t exactly loyal to his master. Sometimes he even kills them, like he did with alois…Whoops
Boomstick: *beep beep* Spoiler Alert!
Alois trancy: Claude, bring me Ciel Phamtomhive *sticks out his tongue to show claude his slave mark (because we all know that’s it’s convinet to stick a random tattoo on a 13 year old’s mouth)*
Claude: Yes…your highness
Spider-Man[]
Boomstick: (to the tune of the Spiderman song) ♪ Spider-Man! Spider-Man! Back for more like a spider can! ♪
Wiz: As we all know, Peter Parker was a nerd during his days of High School, and was ignored by many people because of it, however one fortunate day.
Boomstick: He was bitten by a radioactive spider, which somehow gave him cool bug powers, I dunno, I guess the comics explain it better.
Wiz: Going from Zero to Hero in a short amount of time, Spider-Man quickly became New York's greatest defender, battling the evil of The Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Venom and numerous others.
Boomstick: And after beating bad guys, saving people and superhero-ing, Mary Jane and a crap of other chicks starting coming for some of that-
Wiz: With all of his new abilities available to him, Peter starting experimenting with tools and technology to see what he could use to enhance his abilities.
Boomstick: He developed two wrist mounted webshooters which let him swing around the city, with them he loaded them up with pressurized web fluid, with extra rounds in case he runs out, but there's way more than just that!
(Cue Spider-Man Movie Game - Main Theme)
Wiz: Peter is a major in science and is an skilled photographer, his webshooters were a product of his scientific prowess, but when it comes to his actual strength, he's strong enough to knock out a dinosaur with a single punch.
Boomstick: To top it off, He can run up to 200 miles per hour, lift 10 tons, which is definitely at least buildings coming down on him, and take a freakin' grenade to the FACE! Which if you don't already know, really freaking hurts.
Wiz: Additionally, he's able to keep up with talented martial artists like Captain America, but his most advantageous ability is when he alters his body's electron attractions, enabling him to attach himself to any surface or platform.
Boomstick: And his most useful ability is the Caller ID Alar- I mean Spider-Sense, giving him heightened awareness of his surroundings, this usually triggers when Spider-Man is in some kind of danger.
Wiz: However, despite how life saving the Spider-Sense sounds, it doesn't give him absolute knowledge that what's happening is a threat to him, so it comes down to whether or not Spider-Man thinks he's in danger.
Boomstick: But since that Spider-Sense does so much for him, it's a wonder he can react to Automatic Fire and bombs ticking down, saved his ass so many damn times I lost count.
(Cue Marvel vs. Capcom 3 - Theme of Spider-Man)
Wiz: Despite not being a Super Soldier like Captain America or The Hulk, Spidey has gone toe-to-toe and has defeated the Hulk, thanks to his webshooters having enough power to keep the big guy down.
Boomstick: He's become members of both the Fantastic Four and The Avengers, joining them numerous times, plus he's the Superhero who currently holds the world record for most girlfriends of all time, the only other hero to come close was Bats.
Wiz: But his most impressive feat was when he developed his own unique Martial Art, dubbed the "Way of the Spider" this martial art pushes his abilities to their limits, allowing him to fight masters of martial arts, even whilst being blindfolded.
Boomstick: But Spidey still has his limits, anyone who can outspeed can make his Spider-Sense less reliable, his costume is horrible when trying to hide from bad guys, and he can be really naive sometimes.
Wiz: And while he is Superhuman, he has a limit to his durability, and if he takes too much punishment too soon, he'll succumb to his natural human limits.
Boomstick: But considering all of your attacks are gonna trigger his Spidey-Sense and he's got one unqiue to beat you that no one else can, it's pretty hard to catch this spider.
Mary Jane: Wait, who are you?
Spider-Man: You know who I am
Mary Jane: I do?
Spider-Man: Your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man
Pre-FIGHT![]
Wiz: Ok the combatants are, let's end this debate once and for all
Booomstick: it's time for a death battle!
Death battle[]
Alois is impatiently sitting in the mansion, whilst hannah was pouring him tea. Alois then pushes hannah over, causing the tea to spill over the floor. Alois pulled up a very very sharp pencil.
Alois: I guess you know what this means hannah.
Hannah submissivly nodded her head and kneeled before alois, ready for her other eye to be gouged out. Suddenly a webshoot unexpectedly came from the window, taking the pencil from alois
Alois: What the f-
???: tsk tsk, a little boy like you shouldn’t be cursing
Hannah, Alois and claude looked up, seeing the friendly neighbourhood spiderman, perched in a tree and waving at them.
Alois: I don’t need to be educated by a filthy dick-head like you! Claude, dispose of this fool
Claude: yes, your highness
Spiderman: OH I’m not any ordinary spider for your information, mr I’m-in-a-fancy-suit
Claude: And I’m not any ordinary butler, young man.
FIGHT!
Claude pulled out 5 golden knives and threw them at Spiderman’s direction. Spiderman ducked as two of flew over his head and swung the other 3 at Claude’s direction. Claude caught two of them but one of the impaled his chest.
Spiderman: Ha that was easy.
Claude indifferently pulled out the knife and tossed it aside.
Spiderman: What?
Claude waved his hand indifferently, an order for Hannah to leave with Slois.
Claude then released a thread to pull Spiderman towards him, he threw a punch. Although Spiderman caught it using his spider sense. Claude’s eyes widened with fear.
Claude: …You caught… my punch?
Spiderman: Oh I can do more than that
Spiderman released kicks and punches that pushed claude out of the window. Claude fell on his back as spiderman pushed him to the ground using his feet.
Spiderman: Ha you’re even weaker than that bat joker I faced!
Claude then whipped his body around, causing Spiderman to fall over. Claude pulls out another gold knife and attempts to stab Spiderman, although a web shot landed on claude’s face, temporally blinding him. Parker then punched Claude in the face and pulled himself away using his web sling that was hooked to the tree. Claude then uses his demonic speed to catch up to Spiderman and rip the tree from the roots. Spiderman then rolled out of the way as claude threw a golden knife close to his head. Spiderman began to spin a web around claude, Claude struggled in the thick webbing as spiderman prepared to launch himself at Claude.
Spiderman: Sayonara, butler rip-off of moi!
Spiderman kicked claude in the centre of the stomach…instead of having his body ripped from it’s arm and leg sockets (like a certain godamn dude) claude crashed into a fair amount of concrete.
Spiderman: What… you’re… still alive?
Claude: My turn.
Claude released punches and kicks aiming at his stomach and face, Spiderman kept using his spider-sense to get an idea where Claude will strike, but the demon speed caused spiderman to not keep up. The demon butler grabbed spiderman by the collar and run into many walls. He then threw spiderman to the corner and pulled out his staff. A bit of spiderman’s blood was on Claude’s cheek.
Spiderman fell to the ground. As he recovered, Peter saw Claude waving his staff around, triggering an elaborate web cage to surround him. Parker desperately banged on the cage with his fists as Claude sadistically watched him whilst licking the hero’s blood off his cheek.
Spiderman: LET ME OUT!
Claude: I don’t think so boy!
The sky goes dark as Claude transforms to his demonic form, Spiderman begins whimpering…
Spiderman: P-please…I have my Aunt May to take care of… and my girlfriend…
Claude wasted no time to crawl to spiderman… and bit his head off.
KO!
Claude returned to his human form, all the webbing disappeared, triggering the corpse of Peter Parker to fall to the ground. The spider demon turns to the triplets and ordered them to dispose of the body.
Results[]
(Cue Lacrimosa)
Boomstick: Man, that was actually pretty dark.
Wiz: While Spider-Man was faster, tougher and more reactive than Claude, Claude had one reliable tool on his side, his demonic nature and powers.
Boomstick: Yeah, while Claude's powers are intimidating, much like Spider-Man, they can trap his foes, sometimes with no escape.
Wiz: Spider-Man is certainly more capable of acting on a moment's notice, but of course, his Spider-Sense is a risk to use, since it depends on whether or not he thinks that he's in any actual danger, and Claude's powers are indeed unorthodox compared to the rest of the Marvel Universe.
Boomstick: But what really decided this battle was Claude's one and only weakness, Demons like Claude can be killed by the blade of Lævateinn, specifically made to kill demons.
Wiz: And really, Spider-Man doesn't have anything truly like the Lævateinn, thus really, Claude would eventually overwhelm Spidey.
Boomstick: Well, he tried, but Claude just decided it was crunch time!
Wiz: The winner is Claude Faustus.