Street Fighter vs Tekken! Which Female, Chinese Martial Artist will take the other's name on the plaque of win?
Intro[]
Wiz: The world of martial arts is vast and expansive. Many different styles exist, stemming from many different countries.
Boomstick: But perhaps no other country has developed more sophisticated ways of kicking someone’s ass than China. Kung fu. Shaolin. Wushu. Qi manipulation.
Wiz: From this rich history and lore, China has produced some of the world’s greatest fighters, in real life, and in fiction. Today, the rivalry between Street Fighter and Tekken continues when two such characters step into the ring.
Boomstick: And only one will step out of it alive. Chun-Li, the First Lady of Fighting.
Wiz: And Ling Xiaoyu, the Dancing Phoenix.
Boomstick: He’s Wiz, and I’m Boomstick.
Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armour, and skills, in order to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Chun-Li[]
Wiz: When speaking of martial arts legends, few are more notable than Bruce Lee, who forever changed hand to hand combat in the film industry.
Boomstick: Anybody who can play table tennis with nunchucks, injure a man for a week with a one-inch punch, or kill god damn Chuck Norris deserves to be an inspiration for all who wish to fight.
Wiz: Even though he was famous for teaching the non-Chinese, and was actually born in America, some of those who idolized him most came from China itself. Such as the world famous...
Boomstick: JACKIE CHAN!
Wiz: ... okay, you’re right. But who we’re actually going to be talking about is...
Boomstick: CHUN-LI!
Wiz: Stop interrupting!
Boomstick: As a kid, Chun-Li was fascinated by action, and idolized the legendary Bruce Lee. After many a play, movie, and performance captured her eye, she begged her father to let her learn martial arts. He obliged, and taught her Tai Chi.
Wiz: A practice which focuses on health and grace. Though not meant for direct confrontation, it can be useful for self-defense as well, so there was no problem in teaching it to young girls.
Boomstick: But Chun-Li was like “screw that, let me learn the badass stuff like in Peking Opera!” And since her father was a martial arts expert who didn’t give two shits about gender stereotypes, he said “screw that, you can learn everything!”
Wiz: Well, everything is a bit of a stretch. But Chun-Li’s fighting style is truly unique to her because of its blend of several major styles. Although her core is Chinese Martial Arts such as Shaolin Wugong, Chun-Li has increased her repertoire even further with techniques from Japanese Karate and Judo, Korean Taekwondo, and even Brazilian Capoeira , a style centered around dance and fun.
Boomstick: She also knows the Canadian style of Gome Ne, or apologizing after everything.
Wiz: What?
Boomstick: But if what Chun-Li wanted at first was fun, she didn’t get it. Eventually, dear old daddy got himself killed when he tried to interfere with the affairs of M. Bison and Shadaloo, and if I remember correctly, it was on a Tuesday.
Wiz: Chun-Li joined the international police service Interpol to track down Bison, and after learning the dreaded truth behind her father’s disappearance, swore to avenge him and end Bison’s criminal activities forever. During this time she also adorned her trademark ox-horn hair style in memory of her father.
Boomstick: Unfortunately for her, Bison just so happens to manage to escape every time he’s cornered. Can’t have one of the franchise’s best villains just get locked up so easily. Looking at you, NetherRealm.
Wiz: Although her hatred for Bison was initially her only driving factor, a combination of friendship and success against Shadaloo calmed her spirit and allowed her to learn to accept defeat.
Boomstick: Believe us, she has made a lot of diverse friends over the years. Chun-Li has gone up against some of the world’s toughest fighters and come out on top. Although she has never won a World Warrior tournament, given that she never entered to win in the first place, it’s not such a big deal.
Wiz: From her presence in these tournaments, she has been christened the Strongest Woman in the World, and for good reason. Most of her techniques revolve around her quick yet powerful kicks, which are strong enough to destroy walls and disperse fireballs like they were mere puffs of hot air.
Boomstick: I mean, just look at her thighs! So much meat on them, there’s probably a vegan fundraiser somewhere protesting their use.
Wiz: Chun-Li’s style is based on a never-ending assault of powerful moves, and this insane strength is backed by insane speed. Chun-Li’s most notable move is the Hyakuretsukyaku, where she can strike the opponent dozens of times with one foot in one go.
Boomstick: Against Hugo-like giants, or jump-happy bastards, her air game is en pointe as well. What else did you expect? Jumping is pretty much all in the thighs, right? In a single bound, she can perch herself at the top of a pole.
Wiz: Chun-Li can launch well over four alternating kicks in a single leap, but with enough momentum, she can unleash the devastating spinning bird kick, where she spins her legs so fast she can stall in the air like a helicopter. The force required to stall in the air like such is tremendous, even more so given that she can execute the attack in the air without need to push off the ground.
Boomstick: Chun-Li is also fond of several variants of axe-kicks, designed to leave opponents lying on the cold, hard ground. To top it all off, she knows some decisive palm-strikes, judo throws, and karate chops, though she never has shown the one-inch punch that Bruce Lee was famous for.
Wiz: You’d also think she’d know Fei-Long’s flaming kick, given his striking resemblance to her childhood hero.
Boomstick: But this is Street Fighter we’re talking about, so Chun-Li’s arsenal isn’t quite finished without some energy-based attacks. Her answer to the Hadoken is the Kikoken, a projectile ball which can be charged for more damage. She can also perform the Kikosho, extending a massive field of energy in front of her.
Wiz: Despite all this, Chun-Li isn’t perfect.
Boomstick: Yeah, she could probably kill me by accident in bed, so she's a 9.9 in my books.
Wiz: Not what I meant. Chun-Li’s endurance is only so high compared to other behemoths in the Street Fighter universe. While she can defeat top-ranked assassins like the deadly Vega, doing so often uses up all her strength. Chun-Li puts maximum effort into all of her attacks hoping for a quick finish, which can only get her so far against exceptionally trained fighters.
Boomstick: She's susceptible to discratctions involving innocent people, and let’s be honest, she isn’t the world’s greatest detective. Somehow, Shadaloo manages to frequently predict her moves and leave her helpless and awaiting rescue. I get that Guile is her partner and all, but I don’t ship that. Ryu-Li for the win!
Wiz: Chun-Li has also retired from fighting before, and never finished her formal training. But, it really didn’t matter. Like any fictional cop, she came out of retirement not long after, and though she has several adoptive kids to worry about, she teaches them all martial arts in the spirit of her father, so she was never out of practice.
Boomstick: Her combat experience is off the charts thanks to her wide variety of opponents, career as a cop, and plethora of moves. Despite her failures against some key enemies, she's scored quite a lot of victories as well. Fei Long, E. Honda, Cammy, Nash, and so many street thugs she's likely filled up a whole prison on her own.
Wiz: She has defeated five martial arts masters while blind, can throw a 300-pound sumo wrestler, has the reflexes to anticipate and dodge gunshots, and can move faster than the trained eye can see.
Boomstick: Despite all her flaws, Chun-Li has managed to take everything the world has thrown at her and keep on fighting. Now no longer in it just for her father, she fights for the lives of the innocent. She fights for truth, justice, liberty, and the American way!
Wiz: She’s Chinese.
Boomstick: Sorry, I keep forgetting.
Chun-Li: You know, everything that I’ve accomplished in my life, I thought I had done for my father. But now, I think there was more to it than that. After all is said and done, I think I was also doing it for myself. There’s so much more I could be doing. I owe it to myself. That’s why I’ve decided to keep being a cop for now.
Ling Xiaoyu[]
Wiz: In the summer of 1955, a magical place was born. A resort, a place of happiness for all who entered: the wonderful world known as Disneyland.
Boomstick: And thus started the theme park industry. Now, I know what you’re all thinking. “What the heck does Disney have to do with Tekken?” Honestly, pretty much nothing. I mean, Tekken teamed up with Pokemon which is part of Nintendo which is teaming with Universal.
Wiz: Yeah, we really just needed some way to introduce a girl who loves theme parks so much, she entered a world-renowned fighting tournament just to be able to build one with the prize money.
Boomstick: At the age of freaking sixteen, I might add.
Wiz: Ling Xiaoyu is a scrawny teenage girl who packs serious levels of enthusiasm, and serious levels of martial arts skill. Having always dreamed of creating her own theme park, her headstrong nature led her to request the money to do so from Heihachi Mishima, renowned millionaire.
Boomstick: Which I might add may have been the stupid decision to make. She owns a freaking Giant Panda as a pet! You know how much those things make on the black mar... I mean, you know how much a wildlife conservation park would pay for one? Anyway, her idea of politely asking for a small loan of several million dollars was to sneak away from her family and onto Heihachi’s private yacht, then beat the shit out of his security detail.
Wiz: This was thanks to the training from her grandfather, Wang, a martial arts master. Fortunately for her, Heihachi was a good sport, and promised to go through with the deal provided she could win the third King of the Iron Fist tournament.
Boomstick: He also allowed her to move in to his complexes, go starry-eyed over his beefcake grandson, taught her bear how to be a body guard, and refined her training. “Screw you, Wang, I’m her grandpa now!”
Wiz: Being a young girl full of spirit, self-improvement is not on the top of her mind. Consequent tournaments she entered have never been for the sake of winning; instead, she’s always either trying to raise money for another crazy project, or help out her friend Jin. Nonetheless, Ling is a natural and skilled martial artist, having studied at Mishima’s high school and providing security for his company, Mishima Zaibatsu.
Boomstick: Man, this guy is like a Chinese Batman!
Wiz: No, not at all. But if she wasn’t a dangerous foe before, she was certainly one after her maturing stage. Ling’s techniques appear to be a blend of two techniques commonly taught in Chinese schools: Bagua Zhang, and Pigua Zhang.
Boomstick: Bagua Zhang is an art that focuses on dodging attacks and keeping distance from your foe, not to be confused with Parkour, the French martial art of straight-up running away. With fancy, decisive footwork, Ling can dodge enemy attacks and place herself behind opponents for a quick beating.
Wiz: Weighing in at less than 100 pounds, Ling’s small stature makes her difficult to hit. Her fighting style allows her to duck, dodge, and deflect enemy attacks out of the way with very little risk to herself. Evasiveness is key; Ling is proficient in several rolls and cartwheels that allow her to escape out of an opponent’s reach, and windmill attacks allow her to pressure opponents while keeping up a constant defense.
Boomstick: You’d think all this movement would confuse her orientation, but Ling is perfectly capable of punching and kicking her opponent even while facing away from them. Women, always with eyes on the back of their heads. Should she need to press her foe even harder, Ling’s legs are strong enough to leap straight over her opponent’s head with a standing backflip.
Wiz: Add in a Judo throw while her opponent is tricked up...
Boomstick: ...And Boom, takedown!
Wiz: While not as physically strong as your average tournament contender, Ling packs her offense in her Pigua Zhang, delivering powerful open-palm strikes with no risk of damaging the hand, unlike a standard punch. Combined with her dodging prowess, Xiaoyu can chip at opponents even while they block, and bypass her physical limitations by gradually wearing her opponents down. This enunciates her protective gameplay, and perhaps contributes to her less energetic approach to fighting in later tournaments.
Boomstick: It’s no surprise that growing up sucks. She went from being a theme park-loving schoolgirl to a boyfriend-chasing... schoolgirl. Man, did she ever graduate? How often are these tournaments held?
Wiz: Though her fierceness to win remains the same. Ling will stop at nothing to end the corruption of the company she once worked for, and to bring her best friend Jin Kazama back from the evil path he set foot on.
Boomstick: A devotion to justice, or a devotion to Jin? If she were so concerned about saving him from the Devil Gene, why did she decide to get possessed by Pandora’s Box along with him?
Wiz: Irrelevant crossover material.
Boomstick: She was never able to replicate the security-guard destroying feat, probably because the newer detail under Jin packed much more firepower. Thus her only real way of making herself heard is through the King of the Iron Fist tournaments, and after four tries, she still couldn’t bring home a win.
Wiz: Despite her skill, in the end, Ling is a mere teenager, and only has so much endurance. Should she be caught, she could go down fast if she doesn’t get out of range quickly enough.
Boomstick: But don’t count her out because of her skill. If she had lost the first tournament that badly, would she have come back for more?
Wiz: Exactly. Ling has managed to compete amongst some of the world’s strongest humans, and bears. In her confidence she can go up against the likes of Jin himself, who has the power to level entire forests with the devil gene.
Boomstick: See, the strength of your opponent is irrelevant as long as you don't get caught. Ling's deceptive appearance and tricky fighting style allow her to turn the tables on unsuspecting opponents. Plus, she raised a bear! That's an incredible feat on its own!
Wiz: Wang and Heihachi, the ones who trained her, are legendary fighters themselves, and have commented that Ling has great potential... if she can just stay focused.
Boomstick: Eye of the tiger, Ling. Eye of the tiger.
Ling rushes at Jin, who is standing on the edge of a building.
Ling: Jin! Don’t do it!
Jin: The evil I’ve perpetrated can never be undone.
Ling shakes her head and hugs him before he jumps.
Ling: I’ll... I’ll stand by you! Please...you can’t do this!
Jin: ...Thank you, Ling.
They hug, only for the dream to fade away and Ling to start choking Panda.
Pre-DB[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
Death Battle[]
The sun rises over an outdoor stadium in China, and the crowd that has gathered begins to roar. Dragon flags and confetti fly through the audience as an announcer's voice booms through the arena.
Announcer: The sun has now risen, and our final match shall commence! Welcome to the Chinese Female Martial Arts Tournament Championship Match! In the blue corner, the first lady of fighting, Chun-Li!
The crowd goes nuts as Chun-Li walks into the ring. She waves at them, and smiles at Ryu, Guile and Cammy, all in the front row.
Announcer: And in the red corner, the dancing Phoenix, Ling Xiaoyu!
Ling gets carried onto the stage by Panda, and the crowd cheers. After Panda rolls off, Ling shoots finger guns to Jin, who waves back.
With the excitement surrounding the ring, everyone fails to notice a cloaked figure join the back of the crowd; a wicked grin is all that can be seen of their face.
Announcer: All right, fighters, are you ready?
Chun-Li: You ready for this?
Ling: You're not getting off easy.
Announcer: I shall take your taunts to mean "yes"! All right, then, ladies...
(Iron Fist's Theme, 0:07-1:03)
Both girls flip towards each other and their legs collide in the air. Chun-Li’s attack overpowers Ling and sends her to the ground, where she lands on her feet and deflects the officer’s repeated aerial kicks with a windmill block while being forced back. When Chun-Li touches the ground, Ling aims a kick at her head, and she ducks under it, sweeping at Ling’s ankle. Ling hops into the air and kicks Chun-Li with both feet; the attack is blocked when Chun-Li crosses her arms and pushes Ling into the air. The young girl soars gracefully across the ring and lands harmlessly on the opposite side; the two Chinese women then run at each other and hit each other’s hands with an open-palm strike, generating a small shockwave. The crowd goes nuts.
Chun-Li attacks with her kicks again, and Ling is hard pressed to dodge each and every one of them by ducking to the side. She circles around Chun-Li and tries to strike her back, but she catches her leg in one hand. To Ling’s shock, Chun-Li throws her into the air and follows it up with a Tenshokyaku, rapidly striking Ling in the abdomen and carrying her further into the sky. An axe-kick sends Ling crashing back down onto the arena, and Chun-Li’s follow up attack drops down from the air. Ling barely rolls out of the way in time as Chun-Li cracks the arena in half.
Ling moves fast and strikes Chun-Li’s face, sending her recoiling. Ling rushes her and strikes her repeatedly with her palms, spinning them around her and eventually changing her cycling so that several strikes to the chin lift Chun-Li off the ground. Ling leaps after her, cartwheeling and kicking her opponent in the air, until Chun-Li wraps her ankles around her head. The Street Fighter twists her legs and throws Ling to the ground, but she handsprings right back up and strikes Chun-Li in the face with a devastating kick.
Chun-Li falls on her face, but gets right back up to see Ling smirking. Chun-Li smiles, and holds a hand back.
Chun-Li: Kikoken!
Chun-Li shoots forward a ball of energy, but its slow speed is easy for Ling to dodge. Chun-Li rushes her and begins a series of kicks, and Ling deflects them all with her palms. Suddenly, Chun-Li’s eyes glint and her next kick is exceptionally more powerful, breaking Ling’s guard and opening her up. Chun-Li kicks her 20 times in two seconds and then sweeps under her legs, tripping her up, and attacks her with the Spinning Bird Kick. The brutal attack sends Ling flying across the arena, and she struggles to get up.
As she struggles, she looks over to the crowd, and sees Jin cheering her on. With a smile, she stands up and assumes a fighting position once more, and the crowd cheers.
The champions attack each other with everything they have, and Chun-Li’s pressuring attacks are all deflected or dodged by Ling. In return, Chun-Li is too fast for Ling to strike, and one sidestep manages to spin her around. Thinking she has caught Ling off balance, Chun-Li is surprised when the young girl starts to attack her while facing away, punching and kicking behind her. Chun-Li fends off all the attacks and grabs Ling’s arm, yanking it into the air and spinning her back around. Chun-Li then traps both of Ling’s arms in her hands, with her palms open.
(Silence)
Chun-Li: Gome ne!
Chun-Li brings Ling’s arms down as she bows, and kicks Ling in the face. The crowd cringes, save the cloaked figure in the back, who smiles. They then bring out a remote control device, and press a large red button on it.
Chun-Li and Ling stare at each other, and evil grins form on their faces.
Before anyone in the audience can react, Chun-Li and Ling are at each other’s throats, mercilessly punching and kicking one another. Ling ducks under Chun-Li’s attack and strikes her in the jaw, then spins around and pushes her back repeatedly. A dazed Chun-Li is helpless to resist as Ling picks her up and throws her to the ground; to Ling’s surprise, Chun-Li grips Ling by the throat, stands up, and shoulder-throws her into the ground in retaliation, cracking the pavement once more. Ling spots Chun-Li arming a Kikoken, and springs off the ground, backflipping out of the way of the incoming projectiles which tear up the ring. Chun-Li charges forward with another Spinning Bird kick, but Ling runs up, slides underneath it, and flip-kicks Chun-Li in the head. Chun-Li rolls across the ground and gets up, wiping the blood from her forehead. Ling wipes the blood from her mouth.
Ling: I will win this for Jin!
Chun-Li: I will win this for my father!
Panda hugs an awkward Jin on the sidelines, as Guile snaps his fingers and hands Ryu five bucks. The crowd cheers as they strike each other, meeting fist for fist and leg for leg. The attacks increase with intensity until a palm-strike from Chun-Li connects with Ling’s blocking arms. The ground underneath Ling cracks, but she holds her position, pushes Chun-Li’s arm away, and ducks. Ling’s fists ignite in a bright orange flame and she pushes Chun-Li into the air; as she lands, she kicks the officer in the head twice, twists around and kicks her back into the air, before turning 180 and striking Chun-Li hard enough to shatter the pavement she lands on and engulf her in a massive ball of fire.
(Mezame, 2:12-2:53)
As Ling turns to leave, she hears the crowd gasp, and Chun-Li disperses the fire with a small wind of blue energy. The two run at each other and leap into the air in slow-motion; as they approach each other and aim a flying kick, it is slowly revealed that Chun-Li’s attack is more powerful, and it strikes Ling hard. The young girl falls to the ground, crying in pain, and Chun-Li stands over her. With a yell, Ling hops to her feet and begins to attack Chun-Li.
Ling strikes with all her might, but Chin-Li evades every blow, palm-strike and kick alike. Jumping, backflipping, and sidestepping, Chun-Li leads Ling to the center of the ring, where Ling attempts one last attack with a double palm-strike. Chun-Li hops into the air and kicks Ling’s hands to the side, holding them apart while doing the splits in the air. Her hands raise up behind her.
Chun-Li: KIKOSHO!!!
Chun-Li puts her arms to Ling’s head, and the Kikosho begins to form inside. Ling screams as her head glows blue, and blood begins to pour out of her eye sockets, ears, nose and mouth. The crowd begins to cry and run away as the energy continues to build up, until Ling’s head, now reduced to a burnt husk, flies off her neck in a flash of light. Chun-Li leaps into the air after it, and lifts her leg up above her head. With a final kick, she strikes the head with her thigh and sends it crashing back down into the ring and onto Ling’s still standing body, obliterating both.
(Silence)
Chun-Li then lands and crosses her arms and glances over at the announcer... who promptly runs away. The cloaked figure then presses the button on their control... and nothing happens. They press it again repeatedly, to no avail, and open up the back. To their surprise, they forgot to put batteries in it.
K.O!!!
Chun-Li is dragged off the stage by Ryu and Guile as she starts crying.
Jin and Panda sweep up Ling’s remains as they start crying.
Results[]
Boomstick: Ling just got Tekken out!
Wiz: Premature pun? Really?
Boomstick: I got a better one for the end.
Wiz: Ling was completely outclassed in this match, and she failed to bring anything to the table that Chun-Li could not either counter or surpass. Though the comparisons and contrasts between Gen and Heihachi are a discussion for another time, Chun-Li’s combat history and experience was far superior.
Boomstick: Chun-Li hates mentioning her age, but she is over thirty years older than Ling. If that meant she’d fight more brutally out of jealously, so be it. But her experiences with Interpol and the World Warrior tournaments was more than enough against Ling’s experience as a guard, which as she described it, was boring and monotonous.
Wiz: Ling’s fighting style is completely defense focused to make up for her physical shortcomings. This proved to be disastrous against Chun-Li because the core of her training is Tai Chi, another martial art with focus on defense. Chun-Li’s additional wide variety of opponents and knowledge of many Chinese Martial arts kept her in the know-how of how her opponent worked.
Boomstick: Combine that with Chun-Li’s pressuring offense as well. God damn, we’re getting into serious curbstomp territory.
Wiz: Ling may be skilled at dodging attacks, but we’re talking about a woman who can dodge bullets and kicks so fast her legs leave afterimages. In a single leap she can reach over 15 feet in the air, far outclassing a hop over a human opponent.
Boomstick: If she can evade the eyes and get behind the likes of Nash, then Ling was not a problem. Bagua Zang in particular relies on coordinated footwork in order to be executed successfully. Footwork. Going up against Chun-Li with a strategy that relies on your legs is not the best of ideas.
Wiz: The strength behind Chun-Li’s legs is enormous, being able to produce helicopter-like momentum in the air; one serious blow would be all it took to cripple Ling since she has not shown any metahuman characteristics.
Boomstick: And Ling never had any answer to Chun-Li’s ki energy. Though the basic Kikoken was avoidable enough, Chun-Li’s Kikosho is powerful enough to leave a crater the size of several buildings in the ground. That is freaking superhuman.
Wiz: In that particular instance, she was fighting in a rampage against M. Bison, her sworn enemy. She hasn’t shown that kind of destructive strength since, and its likely she would only use such power in such a scenario given her rather gentle nature. But still, she can stop speeding cars without much effort, which was enough strength for this fight.
Boomstick: Chun-Li has defeated Vega, an opponent with a similar tricky keepaway style. Yeah, she was heavily injured in the end, but keep in mind that one, she was ambushed and still came out on top, two, her opponent had an actual deadly weapon, and three, Vega has also shown much more prowess than Ling.
Wiz: Chun-Li has lost to Juri, when she was distracted by an innocent child. Ling doesn’t have the evil in her to go for such a tactic, even with a killing restraint removed. And Chun-Li’s lower stamina is only comparative to the rest of the titans from the Street Fighter universe; she did manage to take the force of own Kikosho after all. Thus, in the face of all this pressure, it was all Ling could do to keep up against the First Lady of Fighting.
Boomstick: But who the heck was that one guy?
Wiz: I call him Mr. Plot. He has no purpose.
Boomstick: Leave it to the Interpol Officer to figure out this in-thigh-d job.
Wiz: The winner is Chun-Li.
Next Time[]
Boomstick: Next time, on Death Battle!