Resident Evil VS Mortal Kombat! Two enforcers of law in crapsack worlds face off! Will Redfield's training and experience put down the tough cop of Earthrealm?
Intro[]
Boomstick: Humanity, the strongest force in real life. Step one to making a world-ending crisis? Make a threat to humanity! Step one to beating that crisis? Have humans who are smarter, better, faster, and stronger.
Wiz: Indeed. When up against monsters, some times a monster of your own isn't necessary, when you have enough guns, determination, and a New York City birth certificate.
Boomstick: Like Chris Redfield, S.T.A.R.S operative who stood against a zombie apocalypse.
Wiz: And Kurtis Stryker, Police Officer who defended the Earth against the Outworld Invasion.
Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour, and skills, in order to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Chris Redfield[]
Boomstick: Steadfast, uncompromising, and determined. Such are the qualities of the world’s greatest soldiers; never backing down no matter the odds. Some would even argue that these qualities above all else make us truly human... which might come in handy when you’re fighting non-human monsters. Trust me; it won’t be too long before humanity has to earn its spot on the top of the bio-tier. And perhaps the greatest human to stand against the undead threat was Christ Redfield, a man amongst men.
Wiz: Born in New York, because where else, Chris enlisted in the United States Air Force at the young age of seventeen. He was one of the best at everything that could be thrown at him, not only because of his tremendous skill over several areas, but also because of his intense dedication to saving as many lives as he possibly could. However, his hot head got him into trouble with his superiors, and he took an early retirement.
Boomstick: But don’t worry; his career as a badass wasn’t over yet. He soon found himself back in the ranks again with the Special Tactics And Rescue Service, or S.T.A.R.S. What some saw as a group for washed up ex-military, others rightfully saw as an elite counter-terrorism force, made up of only the best soldiers. Even against such competition, Chris’ skills shone through, and he was eventually drafted into the Alpha Team of Raccoon City, which, as sad as I am to report, is not a city occupied by raccoons.
Wiz: What did you think it was?
Boomstick: Don’t question my logic; there’d be lots of theft! The perfect place to deploy super cops.
Wiz: Well, instead of a raccoon infestation, Raccoon City had a different ecological crisis happening on its outskirts. After the disappearance of the Bravo Team, Chris and his team were sent to investigate. But what they found was something that no military training could ever have prepared them for. This mission, which would go down in history as “The Mansion Incident”, exposed to Chris and his team the existence of the T-Virus, a powerful viral agent that was being secretly engineered by the Umbrella Corporation.
Boomstick: The T-Virus was designed to make humans stronger, but after its side effects were found to consist of nausea, shortness of breath, sleepiness, brain death, necrosis, and the urge to feast on human flesh, they decided “fuck it” and made it a weapon instead, without consulting a physician if it was right for them. In short, zombies. But not just zombie humans; were talking zombie dogs, birds, spiders, and even god damn sharks!
Wiz: Neptunes.
Boomstick: God damn sharks!
Wiz: Though unable to stop the spread of the virus beyond Racoon city, Chris survived the mansion and became a key player in combating the zombie outbreaks across the world. Driven by duty and vendetta, over the years he became much stronger, much tougher, and much more resilient than ever before. He possesses a wide degree of skills and is capable with nearly any weapon, though he prefers to start missions light with a simple knife, a modified Glock 17, and... a cigarette lighter.
Boomstick: It’s almost as if Chris KNOWS there’ll be plenty of toys for him to find and pick up anywhere he goes. He’s a crack shot with handguns, AKs, Berettas, magnums, sniper rifles, assault rifles, and submachine guns. And with muscles like his, Chris can fire with just one hand and shrug off the recoil like a champ, so if you piss him off, he is capable of going akimbo on zombie ass. But his beefy guns can carry even beefier guns; heavy weaponry is the name of the game when Chris Redfield brings the pain.
Wiz: Ever since a convenient rocket launcher proved to be effective against more powerful mutants, Chris has had an affinity for the big guns whenever the situation calls for it. He can use the Remington 1100, which normally has enough recoil to send a grown man flying. He’s also used grenade launchers, flame throwers, Gatling guns, ice rockets, fire rockets, electric rockets, a target-locking satellite laser, and even the Linear Launcher.
Boomstick: The LL is a beautifully powerful railgun, using magnetism instead of combustion to fire, which for some reason charges its shots up in blue plasma. Absurdity aside, it’s powerful enough to one-shot a mutant dragonfly-scorpion-woman capable of shrugging off intensely powerful attacks. It was an experimental weapon at the time, but why it hasn’t received further funding is beyond me. Sure, it takes crucial time to charge and cool down, but it’s totally worth it.
Wiz: But Chris always has an alternate option to make up for any of any of his weapon’s shortcomings. With the right tools, he can upgrade nearly any gun he has into a more powerful variant, or he can sacrifice power for faster reloading time and more common ammunition. He can also modify some of his guns to fire a whiff of grapeshot, less powerful but ideal against hordes. And even though he, for some reason, couldn’t carry as many weapons as his female partner, who he clearly had 100 pounds on, he is able to stay in action with a full loadout, topped off with grenades, proximity bombs, and an electric stun rod for close quarters combat.
Boomstick: CQC is one of Chris’ many specialties; he’s a great brawler, but powers through enemies with brawn more than skill, which isn’t surprising considering he’s built like a truck. One hefty punch is capable of sending a zombie flying, and that’s if it’s lucky enough to not have its head blown off. This is all likely because of a strict workout regime he’s undertaken; back at the Mansion, he could barely move a dresser half his height, but fast forward a few years, and he freaking punches boulders out of his way!
Wiz: This boulder was approximately twice as tall as the 6’1” Chris, and decently spherical. It was also located in a West African volcano; assuming the boulder was basalt, Chris effectively punched 77 tons a distance of 11 meters, just to make a bridge.
Boomstick: Holy shit! This guy is capable of lifting fully-grown men above his head, ripping bodies in half, and kicking heads so hard they freaking explode! But just because he’s strong doesn’t mean he’s slow; on the contrary, he’s one of the quickest guys around. He can effortlessly dance around zombies at close range without taking a scratch, fought evenly with Leon Kennedy who’s fast as shit, and can outpace his partner Jill Valentine; well, at least when she was normal anyway. One time, he even did a standing backflip through a room of lasers! Keep in mind this is while wearing 8kg body armour and holding a crap ton of whatever fun stuff is in his inventory.
Wiz: Chris also has very fast reflexes; he has routinely come out on top against zombies who get the drop on him, has reacted to bullets, can draw up obscure escape plans from any situation, and possesses one of, if not the, fastest draws in S.T.A.R.S. His gun skills are enunciated further in that he has officially proven himself to be the force’s best sharpshooter. And should he ever get injured, he often carries an assortment of sprays or herbs to heal minor wounds, not that they slow him down.
Boomstick: Healing herbs, huh? That awkward moment when a powerful, fully funded science division fronted by the world’s best biologists can’t make humanity stronger, but a bit of natural weed can. (Death Battle and MP999 do not condone the use of drugs.)
Wiz: Brawler, and marksman aside, Chris is also a very capable pilot with many aerial vehicles, has enough mechanical knowledge to reprogram missiles and control artificial pressure, and is also a skilled captain and teacher. He often takes the role of a tactical squad leader, and his instructions in hand to hand combat allowed his inexperienced younger sister to survive a city-wide outbreak. Even while experiencing trauma-induced amnesia, Redfield was still able to recall all of his skills of a soldier; a skillset so wide, he may as well be a one-man army.
Boomstick: Chris has defeated hundreds, if not thousands, of zombies of all sorts, both through his brain and his brawn. This includes the likes of the t.A.L.O.S, an armoured tyrant armed with a rapid-fire rocket launcher, the Yawn, a giant snake which could ram through walls of steel, the Malacoda, which may as well be zombie Kraken, and a shitload of genetically-modified superhumans.
Wiz: Such as Albert Wesker, one of my personal idols, and Chris’ former S.T.A.R.S. captain.
Boomstick: You're a fan? Gee, I wonder why.
Wiz: Due to their mutual hatred, Chris and Wesker have crossed paths and fought several times, and while several don’t end with Chris clearly winning, he has managed to get away on his own two feet after all of them. For reference, Wesker is fast enough to dodge bullets by seemingly teleporting, is an expert marksman, possesses a healing factor, is extremely intelligent, and can catch and hold rockets in place. Yet Chris has survived against him for so long and thwarted so many of his plans for global reset that the usually calm Wesker actually gets angered by his presence.
Boomstick: So basically, Chris is unstoppable. Hey, he’s been postponing an impending apocalypse for nearly 20 years at this point, and despite all the opportunities for genetic upgrading on the way, he’s still 100% human.
Wiz: True, but he’s not unbeatable. Chris’s peers have noted that many of Chris’ more bizarre achievements were only possible to his exceptional degree of good luck.
Boomstick: Hey, if finding a rocket launcher whenever you need one was a curse, I’d take it.
Wiz: And it is worth mentioning that several of his missions could not have been successfully accomplished had he not had many reliable friends and partners at his side.
Boomstick: Which is weird, because this guy is basically a walking doom magnet; so many of his partners have died over the years, leaving just him alive. It’s taken its toll on the guy; he can be very arrogant and hotheaded to a fault, which can cloud his judgement at inopportune moments. And while Chris can use a massive arsenal, most of his weapons have very limited ammunition, especially the more powerful guns. Should he run out of ammo for a weapon he picked up off the ground, it’s a pain in the ass to find more bullets to pick up off the ground.
Wiz: But no matter what hardships come his way, Chris Redfield is always ready to step back into the fight if duty calls.
Boomstick: Damn right. He’s got family, friends, ideals, and a human race to protect. And if a super human can’t defeat the superhuman, who can? Nobody, that's who.
Chris: Listen up! In the BSAA, our job is to rid the world of Bioterrorism, and the only way we're gonna do that is by sticking together.
Piers: Nobody’s expendable.
Chris: Exactly. Each and every one of you may be ready to die for our cause, but it’s my job to make sure we all get through this alive.
(Finn the rookie starts sniffing)
Piers: Suck it up, Finn.
Finn: Yes sir.
Chris: No one gets left behind. Not on my watch.
Kurtis Stryker[]
Wiz: Far back at the beginning of time itself, the Elder Gods broke apart the One Being and created the different realms of the world, one of which became Earthrealm. Though the realms usually stood separate from one another, it was possible to travel between them with adequate power or technology. It was also possible to conquer another realm with enough force. Because of its place at the center of the world, Earthrealm was widely considered to be a keystone to the universe, and an important area for those seeking conquest.
Boomstick: Although invasion of other realms was only possible through the Mortal Kombat tournament, everyone and their mother had our Blue Planet in their sights, so Earthrealm had to be granted additional protection. Earth successfully remained free for many thousands of years thanks to the defense of its protectors, from Gods of Nature to martial artists of legend, from ninjas to Special Force ops, and even... a simple police officer.
Wiz: Officer Kurtis Stryker was a man of the badge, wanting nothing more in his life than to protect and serve the people as the head of the New York City riot control. However, this dedication came with a price, damaging his social life. The only love he had ever known left him because of his refusal to never stop fighting for the people, an incident he would never forget. But little did he know that this lifestyle was about to be tested to its extreme limits.
Boomstick: Stryker had never participated in the tournaments, or even known about the existence of other realms, but for one reason or another, the Thunder God Raiden declared him one of Earthream’s chosen defenders. The time to shine came when the Outworld Emperor Shao Kahn violated the rules of the gods and tried to invade Earth by force. As the humans of Earth mounted a defense, Stryker suddenly found himself fighting alongside monsters and metahumans with supernatural abilities, magic, and strength. As a mere human with no superpowers of his own, Stryker resorted to using everything he had at his disposal to keep up.
Wiz: And he did. Despite a complete lack of experience in the area, Stryker adapted quickly, proving himself to be one of Earthrealm’s best fighters, and one of the last human souls standing. To adapt to his new enemies, Stryker took a pragmatic approach to close combat, using police-issue weapons to even the odds without hesitation.
Boomstick: Because when the world is in danger and you need to step up, who needs to be honourable? Stryker is all about getting the job done, and getting it done right the first time. Chief among his many weapons is his semi-automatic pistol, an SIG Sauer P226, standard issue for the NYPD. However, his appears to be heavily modded in that it is quite a bit bigger; probably because it holds an infinite number of bullets instead of the usual 20, and it packs enough force to blow a skull to shreds in one shot. And as always, two guns better than one. When more dakka is needed he can even use dual SCAR-L submachine guns, and the NYPD also issues toys such as shotguns, rifles, and colts, so it’s not much of a stretch to say he can use those too. Hell, he even used a laser pistol upon being transferred to the Special Forces.
Wiz: Stryker’s arsenal goes above and beyond what one would consider “standard issue”; especially since he also carries an assortment of grenades and smoke bombs, only one of which seems like it would be issued to a riot control officer under regular circumstances.
Boomstick: And the other one blows out smoke!
Wiz: Stryker can toss these explosives in an instant, removing the pins as if they were sticky notes while in mid swing. As a safety feature, grenade pins aren’t that easy to pull; Stryker being able to toss them so casually means that just one of his fingers can effortlessly overcome ten pounds of tensile force. With regards to the actual detonation, grenade shrapnel is the most deadly feature; common M67 grenades have an effective fatal radius of nearly 50 feet, so Stryker is certainly very durable to use them in melee combat.
Boomstick: And to finish them off completely, Stryker can fix an explosive device to a dazed opponent, and detonate it remotely. But if he’s absolutely had enough of a bitch, he will simply punch a grenade through their ribs and into their chest to blow them up from the inside; man, that brings a whole new meaning to the words “excessive force”.
Wiz: Rounding out the ranged weaponry, Stryker can use both stun guns and tasers to incapacitate foes at any distance. As supposedly non-lethal weapons, these can actually be quite dangerous, with the potential to send a human into cardiac arrest if not in peak physical condition. Stryker’s, however, is set to such a high setting that it quite literally fries its opponents from the inside out. Considering this, the grenades, the dual machine guns, and the suicide vests, it makes you wonder... what the FUCK does the NYPD Riot Division have to deal with on a regular basis? It’s not like its Detroit!
Boomstick: Maybe Stryker is just that much of a violent person; Chaotic Good, as some would say. Consider his flashlight, which he uses to blind his opponents into submission. The beams from this thing are so bright, they can not only incapacitate through sunglasses, but they also hurt blind people!
Wiz: But all these tools would mean nothing without the skill to use them effectively. While Kurtis Stryker is not as much of a martial artist as his colleagues, he certainly knows how to throw a punch fast and hard. He often enunciates his physical attacks with his police batons, which he can use to pummel or trip opponents and leave them open for a more fatal move. With one sweep of a baton, Stryker can send a man flying over his head, or strike hard enough to shatter stone. With enough repeated attacks, he can even wear an opponent down to a point where he can literally make them fall apart. Some of his batons also house a device that can be used to seal up tears in the fabric of space and time, though there’s very little use for that feature in direct combat.
Boomstick: His accuracy with his guns is uncanny, considering he managed to land a headshot with a pistol, on horseback, from nearly 50 feet away... as an undead revenant in service to Quan-Chi. Which is more important than it seems. It wouldn’t be a Mortal Kombat analysis without Johnny Cage himself getting involved.
Wiz: Cage is a formidable fighter, but he did lose bouts to a human Jax Briggs. However, when Jax was a revenant, Cage managed to defeat him. There was no learning curve involved either, as Jax later regained his humanity and thrashed Cage again. Also consider Hanzo Hazashi, the Scorpion. Even with his revenant powers, he was unable to beat Cage while undead, but upon returning to life, he was able to best the actor. When adding more factors like Liu Kang, Sindel, and extra Jax to the equation, it becomes clear that Quan-chi’s revenants gain an increase in strength, but a loss in brainpower and overall skill.
Boomstick: Meaning that if Stryker could pull off a shot like that as a revenant, his sharpshooting must have basically been legendary as a human. And speaking of brainpower, Stryker is an expert at analysis, preferring to hold back on the offense until he can develop a sure-fire plan of attack against his opponent, often baiting them in with a false sense of security. He also has the reflexes to intercept Kabal’s superspeed Nomad Dash, which as we previously calculated, is a pretty quick 48 meters per second. Are we sure Stryker’s just a human?
Wiz: Kinda? I mean, Jonny Cage was, but it turned out he had superhuman genetics, so maybe Stryker was chosen by Raiden for some unforeseen reason? I don’t think we’ll ever know. He is able to transform into a T-Rex, so that has to count for something.
Boomstick: Stryker has accomplished some pretty amazing things for just an ordinary cop; he once took down an entire tower full of terrorists on his own, defused a bomb on a speeding bus, and led a raid on the Black Dragon mercenaries, and that was before anything got supernatural.
Wiz: Among the beings he’s defeated is Reptile, who’s skilled enough to dodge and block bullets, and has a tongue strong enough to rip off heads. There’s also Mileena, an unpredictably violent seductress, Ermac, a psychic ninja that can telekinetically explode limbs, and Kintaro, the Tigrar Shokan. This massive four-armed beast is capable of breathing fire and shattering stone pillars into dust, yet Stryker managed to give him such a pummeling, he even impressed himself.
Boomstick: And that’s not including the numerous gunmen, cyber ninjas, centaurs, and other Shokan he’s taken down over the years.
Wiz: Kurtis can also take a blow just as hard he can give one, such as the time when he shrugged off a hit from Ninja Grandmaster Oniro, who broke a boulder in one punch. Or the time during his fight with Ermac, where he was lifted into the air and thrown well over 50 feet down into a subway station, yet managed to continue fighting. He’s also taken a hit from a bloodlusted Kano’s eye laser, which can burn humans down to the bone. Bullet-proof vests can do wonders.
Boomstick: But none of that compares to the Battle of Armageddon, where he took a flaming skull from Shang Tsung that sent him flying off of a pyramid, yet he came back up for more. Considering the blast radius, that’s at least 10 kilos of TNT which he took point-blank. We don’t know what kind of shape was in afterwards, but since his final resting place was back on the pyramid steps, it wasn’t enough to take him down. But despite his valiant efforts, he still died in the end. Twice. He’s actually the Yamcha of the series.
Wiz: While Stryker is dangerous, and more than capable of making up his comparative shortcomings, any fighter capable of dealing with his weapons is often too much for him to handle, as he is in the end still a mere human. A subconscious impulse to minimize all possible casualties has led him to getting seriously injured when he dove and took a blast for a teammate. Like many fellow heroes, he was also one-shot by Queen Sindel, though this could possibly be due to her screams distorting his brain; where they got the idea to attack one at a time and without their ranged weapons, who knows?
Boomstick: And while Stryker likes to take his time and plan his moves, this can lead him to being too careful. It usually works out in that he leaves the fight alive, but in battles with fodder soldiers, he almost always comes out last place in terms of the body count. And for a man heavily reliant on ranged attacks, anyone with the capability to reflect them back is his worst nightmare. But like many a badass cop, Stryker will take shit from nobody, and compliments from nobody. He’s just there to do his job, as overkill as he may be.
Jax: We don’t have a lot of time. Prepare your teams to move out.
Stryker: Once we have confirmation from Sonya.
Jax: This transmission came in less than an hour ago. We need to move.
Stryker: I know you and Sonya are tight, but this is protocol. When we don’t have conclusive intel, that’s when people die.
Interlude[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set; let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: But first, this matchup is feeling so close it gives me the chills. I think I'll get myself a hot cup of the best coffee around.
Wiz: What? We don't have a sponsor...
Boomstick: No we don't, but I still want to announce that Roll Up The Rim is back at Tim Hortons! Try their freshly-brewed coffee today and roll up the rim to win one of many available prizes.
Wiz: What are you...
Boomstick: DEATH BATTLE!!!
DEATH BATTLE![]
Smoke is rising into the skies over the former city of Caltifion, which has now been reduced to an abandoned wasteland. Ruined buildings span the desert landscape and wrecked vehicles lie strewn about the streets. A small, charred arm grasping onto a teddy bear is hanging out of one of these vehicle windows, and slowly, a zombie shuffles up to it and grips it in his hands, bringing it up to his mouth.
(Pacific Rim Theme, 0:00-0:35)
He doesn’t get more than a few bites in before a shot rings out and his head is blown to shit. High above the waste, a S.T.A.R.S. helicopter is hovering in the air, with Chris Redfield kneeling beside an open door, putting away his sniper rifle. Leon Kennedy walks up beside him and pats him on the shoulder.
Leon: Wish I could join you, but there wasn’t enough antidote to go around. Sure you’ll be fine without a team?
Chris: I’ll be all right.
Leon: Less people for you to worry about. You shouldn’t need backup; just go in, grab the intel, and get out. Avoid anything that moves; everything here should be dead.
Chris: You’re telling me what to do? Man, I miss when I was in charge.
Pilot: Enough banter, guys. I’ve got no craft on my radar, so you’re clear to drop.
(Pacific Rim Theme, 1:09-1:34)
Chris nods, punches Leon on the shoulder, and leaps out of the copter. A parachute opens up to slow his descent as he falls into the thick brown clouds, and the helicopter pulls away. However, unbeknownst to S.T.A.R.S, another aircraft emerges from the clouds, descending towards the ground. It’s a small jet, piloted by Kurtis Stryker; Jax Briggs sits in the seat behind him.
Stryker: We’re clear. The Dragon Jet’s stealth drive saves the day yet again.
Sonya Blade (over the radio): Good. Land it and get going. I trust you’re clear on your objective?
Jax: Crystal. Nab Kano, preferably before he sells his bio-weapons.
Blade: And assume everyone else you two come across is Black Dragon. This city’s been off the radar for a year now; no civilians, no governments.
Jax: Free to let loose. I dig it.
Stryker: Stick to the mission, soldier.
The jet moves in to land. Down back in the city, inside one of the buildings, a large briefcase is placed on a table, and its latches are clicked open. The mercenary Kano grins and opens it up, twirls it around, and slides it across the table where Albert Wesker examines it, and lifts up a glass vial from inside it, inspecting the green liquid inside.
Kano: No need to be so tight, mate. S.T.A.R.S. believes the virus around this place is airborne. They won’t be sending anyone ‘ere for a year.
Wesker: Your test results?
Kano: Right ‘ere.
Kano slides a glass container across the table, and Wesker examines it as well. Inside is a mutated spider the size of a dinner plate; it has extra legs, massive fangs, and is practically oozing venom.
Kano: That bugger used to be a mite tiny Black Widow. The human ones were too beefed up to transport. Alive, anyway. Files are in the case. And I trust my money’s in there.
Kano gestures to Wesker’s coat; Albert opens it up and draws out a black card and a tablet.
Kano: Not so fast.
Wesker: I’m missing something?
Kano: This drive right here. Instructions on how to mass-produce that juice like no tomorrow.
Wesker: I thought I was quite clear that Umbrella funds were limited. Yet you still try to bargain?
Kano: You’re paying me a handful already, mate. I’m good with that. But if you want this, you give me and the Black Dragon protection. From both your apocalypse, and a few thorns in my side.
Chris: I’VE GOT YOU!
Stryker: GAME OVER!
The two dealers turn around as Chris kicks down the door from one side of the room, and Stryker kicks down another door, entering followed by Jax. The three all raise their weapons, but Wesker has already tackled Kano and grabbed the briefcase, smashing through the glass window in the blink of an eye and leaving Chris, Stryker and Jax in the room alone with their guns pointed at each other. As soon as they realize their predicament, they duck behind columns in the room.
Chris: These guys are new. Gotta take them out fast; I'm not in the mood for surprises.
Stryker: It’s just a Black Dragon merc. Let’s break and go after Kano.
Jax and Stryker make a run, but Chris leaps up and draws a bead on them with an assault rifle. Jax makes it out, but Stryker rolls to avoid the fire and finds himself now having to deal with Redfield before he can continue the mission.
(Assault Fire, 0:14-2:10)
Chris opens fire, and Kurtis backflips out of the way; as the bullets kick up the dirt behind him, Stryker lands behind a large support beam to use for cover, and draws out a submachine gun. As Chris circles the room, Stryker jumps out from around the beam; both shoot at each other, and continue to do so while running for the nearest cover. Stryker ducks under the wooden table and grips it with one hand, before standing up and throwing it across the room. Chris becomes covered with the table’s shadow as it flies towards him, but he takes a step back and frees one hand; with a hefty punch, he reduces the table to splinters, and fires several rifle shots through the wreckage with one hand.
Stryker backflips over the bullets as he draws out a smoke grenade from his belt and whips it at the floor. A thick cloud spreads throughout the room, causing Chris to cough. Not willing to let his guard down, Chris holds his rifle up to his face and slowly steps around, listening for any sign of his opponent. Suddenly, an electrical rod crackles and comes to life out of the smoke, beaming like a lightsaber. Chris draws his own stun rod, a much bigger design, and holds it up to block Kurtis’ incoming attack. The two press against each other with their faces illuminated by the blue light before Chris shoves Stryker off of him. He proceeds to swing wildly with his stun rod while the police officer ducks around each of his attacks, sometimes using his own baton to deflect Redfield’s away. As they duel, the smoke gradually fades away around them. Finally, Stryker sees an opening, and spins away from Chris’ attack to get in close and stab his baton into Chris’ chest. To his surprise, the damage is less than superficial; Chris shrugs off the blow and punches Stryker in the face, sending him staggering away. Stryker recovers and ducks under Redfield’s next attack, hooks his baton around his opponent’s foot, and trips Chris to the ground. Now standing over the S.T.A.R.S. officer, Stryker stomps his foot down onto his head, and aims his submachine gun for the kill.
Not ready to die, Chris grips Stryker by the leg and ragdolls him to the side, where he smacks into a pillar. Redfield quickly jumps to his feet, and his next punch barely misses a dodging Stryker, hitting the wooden pillar and breaking it in half. Expecting Stryker to now be behind him, Chris kicks backwards, hitting Stryker in the stomach and sending him back a fair ways. The first gun he is able to draw is his handgun, and he fires three shots at Stryker as the officer runs towards him; Kurtis zips his head around all three bullets as he closes the gap and knocks Chris’ gun arm into the air with his baton. Twirling around to put his back to Chris, Stryker gets in close and uppercuts Chris’ arm, dislocating it, before gripping it and flipping his opponent over his shoulder. As soon as Chris hits the ground, he grabs an abandoned Black Dragon shotgun next to him and aims a one-handed shot at Stryker from the ground. It hits Stryker dead in the chest and sends him flying back into a wall, winding him long enough for Chris to get up.
When Stryker looks up, he sees Chris pumping the shotgun for another shot, and makes a run for it. He keeps ahead of Chris’ blasts, so Redfield pulls a piece of equipment out of his belt and works it onto the barrel of the shotgun. His next shot fires bullets in a spread formation; Stryker barely ducks under the bullet, but it scrapes the lens of his goggles in the process. Stryker fires his machine gun in retaliation, forcing Chris to duck behind a pillar and discard the empty shotgun, drawing his assault rifle out. Chris rounds the pillar, but before he can open fire, Stryker has already run up next to him. With his baton in hand, he bashes Chris three times across the face, and follows it with an uppercut to the jaw. The uppercut has no effect, as Chris grips Stryker’s arm and twists it, dislocating the officer’s shoulder.
Chris: ONE!
Chris punches Stryker hard enough to make him stumble backwards.
Chris: TWO!
Chris launches a second punch with his other hand.
Chris: ANOTHER!
Chris swings a third punch, and follows it with an uppercut that knocks Stryker into the air. Jumping after him, Chris punches his opponent twice before kicking him to the ground. Kurtis lands on his hands and springs back onto his feet as Chris lands in front of him. Chris swings more punches, but Stryker ducks around each of them, punching Chris in the chest and face whenever he has a chance to slowly beat him backwards. As Chris swings a strong right hook, Stryker raises an arm and strikes back; in a brief instance of slow-motion, he overpowers Redfield’s attack and knocks it back as he brings his other arm up. He punches it into Chris’ face and withdraws it, revealing the taser he jammed into Redfield’s mouth; activating it, Stryker discharges loads of electricity directly into Chris’ head, stunning him as he yells in pain. With his opponent unable to fight back, Chris cracks his knuckles before punching Chris as fast and as hard as he can, before grabbing both of his batons and swinging them simultaneously to bash both sides of Chris’ skull; an X-ray of Chris is shown as his temples crack. Stryker then roundhouse kicks Chris in the jaw; another X-ray shows Chris’ jaw breaking and several teeth getting knocked loose. Spun around with his back to Stryker, Chris winces in pain as both batons are stabbed into his back; Stryker then throws him over his shoulder, sending him sliding along the floor. Chris picks himself up and runs at the officer, only for Stryker to Sparta-kick him in the face and send him stumbling backwards.
Stryker: Police brutality comin’ up!
Stryker takes out his handgun and cocks it before pointing it down at Chris’ knee. He fires, bringing Chris down to a kneeling position, before he shoots the other knee and leaves Chris struggling to hold himself up.
Stryker: Eat this!
Stryker turns around and begins to walk away, removing the pin from a grenade and tossing it behind him towards Chris.
It explodes, but out of the fireball, Chris comes charging; Stryker only barely turns around before Chris tackles him with a shoulder charge and runs him over to the wall of the room. The two crack through the bricks of the warehouse wall and briefly enter the sun-lit outdoors before plummeting through the roof of the ground floor. Chris lands on top and slams Kurtis’ head into the ground as they land; an X-ray appears of Stryker’s head, showing the cracks forming in his skull.
Stryker rolls to the side to avoid Chris’ next punch, and both stand up and aim their handguns at each other. Barrel touches barrel as both fire point-blank into the other’s gun. The shots collide and the force knocks the guns out of their hands. Stryker braces himself and goes on the defensive as Chris approaches him, retreating out of punching range every time Chris appears to take a swing. Chris then decides on a kick, but Stryker ducks under it and catches his foot in his baton. Shunting it upwards, Stryker throws Chris off balance, then runs at him with a baton outstretched. It bashes Chris’ jaw and knocks him to the ground, whereupon he rolls to get to his feet. With Stryker approaching him, Chris aims a punch downwards; to his shock, Chris catches the attack, and also blocks the reflex strike with Chris’ other fist. Now holding onto both of Chris’ hands, Stryker slowly overpowers the S.T.A.R.S. op, pushing him backwards while his opponent struggles to no avail.
Seeing nothing to be gained from his current position, Stryker brings his leg up and kicks Chris away, and whips a grenade off of his belt at him. Chris curls up into fetal position before the explosion hits, and he gets sent flying across the room. Stryker brushes his hands off and looks at his fallen opponent.
Stryker: Busted!
However, Chris pulls himself to his feet, and reloads his assault rifle, to Stryker’s annoyance.
Chris: Not on my watch.
Stryker draws his own submachine gun and fires... to a few clicks, having run out of ammo.
Stryker: Shit.
Chris opens fire, and the bullets rip into Stryker, sending him backwards as he coughs up blood. Seeing a large metal shipping container near him, Stryker dives behind it for cover. Chris smirks and pulls the pin from a grenade; Stryker hears the sound, and knows what’s coming. As the grenade arcs through the air, Stryker leaps up and roundhouse-kicks it right back to Chris, who shoots it out of the air. As Kurtis lands back behind his cover and draws his handgun, Chris steps behind a support beam.
Kurtis is the first to move, firing a shot that whizzes by Chris’ head before he returns to cover. Chris takes a breath and fires from his handgun; the bullet passes through air with Kurtis back behind the container. Stryker takes another shot, and his bullet hits the wall behind Chris. All is silent as the officer reloads his gun, and slowly peers out from behind his crate. A bullet fires at him and nicks his face as he brings himself back behind his cover.
Chris: Time’s up.
Chris pulls out the Remington, loading up a shot and equipping it with a laser sight, and fires directly at the container Stryker is behind. The force of the shot sends the crate flying forwards, knocking Stryker out of the way and removing his cover. As he lands against the wall, a red light appears on his hand and moves to his face; he turns to see Chris on the other side of the room, keeping Stryker at range as he prepares for the finishing shot. Stryker whips his head to the side to avoid the incoming bullet, and fires a shot from his gun; the bullet sails through the air and straight into the palm of Chris’ hand, forcing him to drop the gun. Kurtis pulls the pin out of yet another grenade, and a wary Redfield retreats further away , putting as many obstacles between him and Stryker as he can. Stryker, however, tosses it to his right, where it lands next to a large electrical generator. It explodes, and the resulting fireball is all that lights the room as it plunges into near-total darkness.
Chris crouches down and listens for Stryker as he sneaks his way around the room. Stryker does the same and starts to sneak around the back walls, flipping his gun around in his hand as he prepares to throw it. Upon hearing a clank in front of him, Chris stands up and fires a shot; it hits a stone wall. Chris squints and sees Stryker’s gun lying on the ground, but the officer himself is nowhere to be found. Now having given his position away, Redfield realizes his dire circumstances.
Chris: Shit.
Squinting his eyes, Chris notices the small embers of the previous explosion illuminating the gun on the floor. Now with an idea, Chris drops his own gun and unzips a compartment on his vest; from it, he pulls out the end of a flamethrower, and lights the pilot light.
Bracing for the recoil, Chris fires a short burst; an intense stream of flame escapes the nozzle, burning through the air on front of him and casting thick black shadows on the back wall. One of the shadows is that of a humanoid figure slowly walking towards him, but all goes dark again. Chris fires another stream of flames, spotting Stryker’s shadow on the wall again, having changed directions. The man himself is nowhere in sight, and the flames die out again. Small embers glow on the ground, but Stryker remains hidden in the darkness before Chris fires again. This repeats for a few more rounds, with Redfield briefly lighting up the room to unveil Stryker’s slowly-advancing shadow, before finally, Chris shoots his flamethrower, but Stryker’s shadow is nowhere to be found.
(Silence)
With just the pilot light to illuminate his worried face, Chris goes silent, listening for where Kurtis could be. A foot steps down on the ground behind him, and Chris turns around. But before he can do anything, he hears a click.
(Mortal Kombat Remix, 0:18-0:32)
Out of the total darkness, an intense beam of light suddenly shines into Redfield’s face; he screams in pain as it burns into his eyes. The pain is so intense, Chris fails to fight back as Stryker keeps burning his eyes with the flashlight, before the officer brings up his free hand to clutch Chris by the throat. Stryker steps forward and slams Chris straight through the brick wall, into the streets outside. Sun shines down on both of them as Chris falls to the ground and Stryker walks after him. But as Chris gets up, his eyes are purely white; now blinded, he swings wildly, trying to hit his target. Stryker dodges the attacks easily by keeping out of range.
Stryker pulls both of his batons into his hands, and gives them a twirl, before he squares up against the blinded Chris Redfield.
BAM!
Stryker swings one of his batons and bashes it against Chris’ skull.
BAM!
Stryker swings the second baton, with the same result, sending Chris stumbling back. Striker starts twirling one of the batons around in his hand, spinning it fast enough for it to look like a black circular blur in his hand. With the momentum built up, he lunges at Chris and swings it forward.
While his body slumps down to the ground, Chris’ head plops down and rolls next to Stryker’s feet. The cop looks down at it, before taking out a handgun and firing it, blowing the head do kingdom come.
K.O!!!
A zombie holding a knife and fork slowly makes its way to Chris’ body.
Stryker jumps in to provide Jax assistance as he battles both Kano and Wesker.
Results[]
Boomstick: No.... NO.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Wiz: Are you upset that Chris lost, or that Stryker won?
Boomstick: BOTH!
Wiz: This was a very, very close match. At first glance, it looked like Chris Redfield would prevail, bypassing Stryker’s skill advantage with raw strength, speed, stamina, and weaponry. However, by digging deeper, this proved not to be the case, paving the way for one of the biggest upsets in Death Battle history.
Boomstick: Let’s tackle this category by category. Chris may have had a much larger arsenal of weapons to choose from, including more powerful weapons than his opponent, but he can only carry so many at a time. Stryker did have the minimum requirements for a loadout, allowing him to engage Chris evenly in a shootout. Even if we did give Chris the accuracy and scenario experience advantage, Stryker has taken hits far more powerful than any of Chris’ guns could put forward. And chancing upon a rocket launcher wasn’t reliable; Chris may be lucky, but he only gets that lucky when he’s about to face some monster mutant; Stryker is tough, but he certainly isn’t a boss-level Kombatant.
Wiz: Stryker’s durability and armour allowed him to eventually close the gap and bring the fight close-quarters, a field he simply outclassed Redfield in. Chris is a brawler above all else, but Stryker does not rely on strength in melee combat, instead using pragmatic skill to best his opponents. Stryker’s track record is very successful thanks to this strategy, and has allowed him to best beings far stronger than Chris. And then there’s the boulder.
Boomstick: We’re debunking the boulder?
Wiz: We’re debunking the boulder.
Boomstick: Dammit.
Wiz: Moving the 77-ton boulder is very impressive, but it is crucial not to overestimate it. This feat was not accomplished in one punch, and actually required several blows and some shoves to get going. Even after that, Chris only needed to move the boulder’s center of gravity over a narrow ledge and let physics decide the rest; in a nutshell, it took him quite a bit of effort to overcome the boulder’s initial inertia and move it 3 feet. Compare this to real-world plane pulling; in 2009, Canadian Kevin Fast set the world record for heaviest plane pull by moving a Dry Globemaster nearly 9 meters; at 190 tons, that’s well over twice the mass and 3 times the distance Chris accomplished. Even giving Chris the benefit of friction can’t make up a gap that large.
Boomstick: So, while Chris shoving that boulder was certainly a mighty display of strength from our standpoint, it wasn’t anything above what the real world’s strongest humans can accomplish, and thus it doesn’t quite put him on the level of the foes Stryker tangles with.
Wiz: Correct; it doesn't actually make Chris any sort of superhuman too strong for Stryker. Evening the odds, Stryker can also hit hard enough to crack bones and make heads explode, and his opponents aren’t suffering from tissue damage or cell death. Keep in mind, when Chris DID punch the basalt boulder, he failed to actually damage it, but Stryker can take blows from Ermac, who can shatter pearl with similar density, and Kintaro, who can outright crush stone. Chris possibly being slightly stronger than Stryker physically wasn’t enough when Stryker could basically take everything he had.
Boomstick: At close range, Chris has more success with zombies who are slow as shit and not capable of fighting back as good as Stryker. When going up against Wesker, Chris actually, kinda, gets his ass thrashed nearly every time. The only reason he lives so often is because of having help, being able to sidetrack Wesker, exploiting a convenient volcanic environment, or because Wesker toyed with him. None of these could be relied on against Kurtis; even if he doesn’t get a fatality, he’ll toss a grenade at his opponent anyways. Stryker don’t fuck around with letting his opponents leave alive.
Wiz: Whereas, Stryker has had much more success than Redfield at fighting agile bullet-timers in close range, such as Reptile and Mileena.
Boomstick: Chris should’ve thought twice before challenging an officer of the law; justice truly is blind.
Wiz: The winner is Kurtis Stryker.
Next Time[]
Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle!
