INTRO[]
Boomstick: This Town Needs A Hero. But they're all corrupt, so the real heroes are vigilantes. And today, we got two of 'em!
Wiz: Casey Jones, New York vigilante and ally to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Boomstick: And Jason Todd, Batman's second Robin brought back from the dead, now known as Red Hood.
Wiz: For this battle, we will be using all of Casey Jones' incarnations, along with all the weapons he uses.
Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
DEATH BATTLE IS UNDER THE RED HOOD[]
Wiz: After Dick Grayson was fired from being Robin, Batman went back to work as Gotham's crime fighter.
YOU CAN'T FIGHT CRIME BRUCE, YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL IT.
Boomstick: Yeah, then one day some kid stole the wheels off of the-- whoa whoa whoa!! What the hell?!
Wiz: What?
Boomstick: How do you STEEL THE WHEELS OFF OF THE BATMOBILE?!?
Wiz: You stole the wheels off of my bicycle. And they were made from TITANIUM. So, don't throw rocks at your own glass windows Boomstick.
Boomstick: Why not?! That's really fun.
Wiz: Anyway, this boy was Jason Todd. After adopting him, he trained Jason to become a crime fighter, known as Robin.
Boomstick: So after a few years, Batman started to notice that Jason was becoming really, really violent. Like nearly killing people violent!
Wiz: Due to his lifestyle in the Gotham ghetto, he had years of violence bottled up, and he now had the means to take out his anger on anyone, until one faithful day.
Boomstick: Everybody's favorite Prince of Crime beat Jason to a bloody pulp, and blew him up.
Wiz: This put Batman into a deep depression. After a few years, Bruce became a better hero. But a nightmare from his past came back.
Boomstick: Ra's Al Ghul put Jason's dead body in a Lazarus Pit, and brought Jason back to life.
Wiz: And so, Jason became a vigilante, with only one goal: show that Batman the killing is the answer.
Boomstick: Jason Todd, was now the Red Hood. Why did he call himself that?! He doesn't even wear a hood!
Wiz: Well, this would be a tribute to the Joker's former alias, the Red Hood.
Boomstick: Oh.
Wiz: In the Red Hood's armory, he uses a number of tools to aid him in his battle in Gotham.
Boomstick: But mostly he uses a pair of twin pistols, an AK-97, a GIANT combat knife and a BOMB UNDER HIS MASK!! Holy-- how does he still have his face?! Nevermind, but that's still dangerous! And hardcore.
Wiz: In his arsenal (other than guns,) he has other weapons like the rest of the Batman family, such as:
- Batarangs
- Smoke pellets
- Land mines
- Large taser.
- Smaller technical grenades.
- C-4 bombs
- and rocket propelled grenades!
He also knows several combat styles and parkour.
Boomstick: Red Hood also has a bulletproof suit, and titanium bullets. Damn. That's amazing!
Wiz: Jason is a master stratagist. He's even outsmarted Batman, made near impossible shots and even captured the Joker.
Boomstick: Hey Wiz! Check out my mask!
Wiz: Boomstick! WHY IS THERE DYNAMITE ON YOUR FACE?! HOLY--
CASEY JONES SHREDS HIS WAY INTO DEATH BATTLE[]
Boomstick: Hey, remember when the Ninja Turtles had a lame hockey guy followin' them around? Yeah, me neither.
Wiz: Not much is known about Casey Jones' early life. In fact, he's... kind of dropped into our story.
Boomstick: After having a rough night of dealing with his brothers, Raphael decided to go see a movie. After his movie, he found himself gettin' attack by bad guys, then getting...saved?
Wiz: Raphael was saved by a man in a hockey mask, fighting with sports equipment. This was Casey Jones.
Boomstick: Because they saw the world the same, they fought each other, then became buddies.
Wiz:... Well, that's how he was introduced into the TMNT Universe. In one version, Casey's father refused to pay criminals for protection. So they killed him when Jones tried to turn them into the police.
Boomstick: Goddamn it! He's such a good dad. Better then my Dad.
Wiz: So Jones decided to become a vigilante and fight against crime with the only weapons he knew how to use: Sports equipment.
Boomstick: Daddy... don't leave me...!
Wiz: Boomstick?
Boomstick: No Daddy! Not the fly swatter! I hate it when you shock me with it!
Wiz:... Moving on, Jones has a unique arsenal of weapons, such as:
- A hockey stick, with pucks
Raphael vs Casey Jones-0
- A golf club
- Baseball Bat
- Metal pipe
- Paint can grenades
- Hockey glove with spikes and a taser made with a potato masher
- Cricket bat
- Skiing poles
- Explosive pucks
- Sledgehammer
- and Fireworks!
With these weapons, he--
Boomstick: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh........................
Wiz: Boomstick?
Boomstick: What?!
Wiz: Are you okay?
Boomstick: Yeah. What were we talking about?
Wiz: Casey Jones once sent about 800 pounds in weights literally flying. He even sent a man flying into a basketball hoop with one arm!
Boomstick: He even jumped up at least 30 feet, busted a metal vent open with a baseball bat, threw two of the turtles with his legs, threw around heavy appliences and busted them up with just his bat!
Wiz: He also sent Raphael flying with a hit of his Cricket bat.
Boomstick: This guy sure likes making people flying. He EVEN WALKED THROUGH A WOODEN DOOR LIKE IT WAS NOTHING!! What the hell Wiz? Is he a mutant?
Wiz: No. He's just skilled in the sports he's in.
PRE-BATTLE[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possiblities.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
DEATH BATTLE[]
(In the moonlight of the New York City streets, Victor Zsasz chases after a young girl, until a hockey puck strikes him in the back of his head. Casey Jones walks towards the unconsious Zsasz and goes to tie him up. But just as he starts to tie Zsasz's hands together, a bullet wizzes past Jone's head through Victor's. Casey looks up and sees the Red Hood with a AK-47 running away from his crime. Jones gives chase for several blocks, when Red Hood looks behind him, and doesn't see Jones anymore. Then, Jones strikes him on the head with the Criket bat.)
Red Hood: What the--? Who are you?
Casey Jones: Name's Casey Jones. And that was not nessessary.
Red Hood: Hey, were you gonna put the asshole down? No. I did.
Casey Jones: I was gonna teach that guy a lesson. You just put a bullet in his head, and now I can't.
Red Hood: Well, I just saved you the trouble.
Casey Jones: I ain't gonna let you do my work for me. Not like that.
(Jones pulls out two baseball bats.)
Red Hood: Baseball bats?! Ha! Bring it.
(Red Hood arms himself with the AK-47.)
FIGHT!!!
(Red Hood unloads several shots at Casey Jones. Casey jumps behinds an air vent and pulls out a paint-can grenade. Red Hood runs behind the air vent only for Casey to throw the paint-can grenade in his face. Jason wipes the paint off his mask, and Casey lands multiple hits on Red Hood with the baseball bats. Red Hood pulls out his combat knife and swings it at Casey and tries to shoot him. The AK-47 is out of ammunition, and Casey takes avantage of the situation by bashing Jason with a hockey stick. Red Hood goes after him with the knife and lands breaks the hockey stick.)
Casey Jones: New sport.
(Casey pulls out the cricket bat.)
Red Hood (Pulls out twin pistols): Cricket? Against twin pistols? Try again pal.
Casey Jones: Yeah? How about a game of catch?
(Casey throws a lit firework at Red Hood, and it blows up in his face. Red Hood looks around and Casey is gone. Then, something hits him in the head.)
Red Hood: Ow! What the hell?
(Red Hood activates infared vision in his mask. He looks around and finds what hit him in his head. Jones is two buildings away, swinging a club sending golf balls hitting him in the head. He goes to hit another golf ball when Red Hood shoots off the end of Casey's golf club. Casey ducks several more gunshots and pulls out a few explosive pucks. Red Hood pulls out his grapple hook and swings over to Casey's building.)
Red Hood: Lights out, bitch!
(Casey sees him and shoots the puck at Red Hood, who shoots the puck. The puck blows up knocking Red Hood over, and Casey sticks him into the ground with a skiing pole. Casey puts his foot on Red Hood's chest, and thinks he is about to win when Red Hood pulls out the taser and shocks Casey with it. Red Hood then pulls out a smoke pellet and vanishes leaving his jacket.)
Casey Jones: Bring it on, lawbreaker. Think you're smart?
Red Hood: Says the the guy wearing a hockey mask and no kevilar.
(Casey steps on a landmine, and is blasted into the air. Red Hood jumps up and slams another landmine on his chest, and throws him on the ground. Jones is blasted again. Casey pulls out his hockey mitt and a metal pipe and charges Red Hood. Jones activates the potato-masher-taser, and hits Red Hood in the chest, and the metal pipe to his head. Red Hood's helmet starts beeping.)
Red Hood: Oh shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
(Red Hood pulls off the mask and throws it at Casey, but Jones hits it with a Cricket bat sending back to Jason. The helmet blows up sending them flying away from each other off of the building. Casey lands on a car, and survives, and Red Hood grapples his way down. Jones pulls out his sledgehammer, and Jason pulls out another gun.)
Casey Jones: You're almost out of bullets.
Red Hood: And you're shit out of luck.
(Red Hood unleashes a barage of batarangs and bullets as Jones dodges them, then he runs charging at Red Hood with the spiked glove. Casey jumps on Red Hood, only to be stopped with the combat knife between his ribs. Red Hood walks away as he grabs a RPG, and Jones removes the knife.)
Red Hood: This is the last face you will ever see.
(Jason blows up Casey with the RPG.)
K.O.!!!
POST BATTLE[]
Boomstick: Goodbye badass leather jacket.
Wiz: Casey Jones was certainly no pushover. He's so unpredictible, his weaponry gave him a partial avantage and was skilled.
Boomstick: But Red Hood's trained by Batman AND THE LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS. Plus, he's got guns.
Wiz: Even with guns, Red Hood had a difficult time beating Jones.
Boomstick: Looks like Casey ended up seein' red. Literally.
Wiz: The winner is Red Hood.
