Matchup image
Description[]
two thieves fight to the death! Who will win? The red caper Carmen Sandiego? Or the sly raccoon sly Cooper? Stay tuned to find out!
Intro[]
Wiz: Thieves will do what they always do, steal. They may steal for good or evil, but deep down, they are always thieves
Boomstick: One thieve is Carmen sandiego, the stealer in red who’s pulled off many capers.
Wiz: and sly Cooper, the raccoon in blue with his signature cane
Boomstick: He’s wiz, I’m Boomstick,
Game boy next door: And I’m your new host, game boy next door
Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons,
Boomstick: Armor,
Game boy next door: and skills to find out who would win
All three: A death battle!
Carmen sandiego[]
(Note: We are using the 2019 version of Carmen sandiego)
Wiz: As a kid, Black sheep was abandoned on the side of the road, she was later found and taken away to an island that housed the V.I.L.E academy where thieves were trained.
Boomstick: Every year, about 40 or so students would graduate out of possibly hundreds students.
Game boy next door: Even as a kid, Black sheep was very experienced in the art of stealing, being able to sneak around, move fast, and most importantly steal, she was even able to steal the belt off someone’s pants without them noticing!
Wiz: Black sheep one day found a phone that connected her to the outside world, this was new to her because she wasn’t allowed to have phones on the island. That is when she met player, a white hat hacker who had to get through “27 layers of encryption” to get in contact with whoever was on the other end of that phone, and he was certainly lucky because he met his future partner in crime.
Boomstick: After failing to graduate, Black sheep ends up escaping by dressing up in a disguise and escaping, after escaping, she dawns the name, Carmen Sandiego. She then dedicated her life to stopping V.I.L.E
Game boy next door: Carmen Sandiego has a wide arsenal, having a tool for pretty much any heist, having gliders, grappling hooks, and a device that can find out the passcode to vault doors within seconds!
Wiz: Well Carmen doesn’t need those hacking tools because she has her own hacker, player. He can shut off security systems for entire buildings in a matter of seconds and like we said earlier he can hack through 27 layers of encryption.
Boomstick: While player does help on missions, Carmen sandiego does most of the work, and she’s not weak, she was able to push aside a large sewer grate.
Game boy next door: Carmen Sandiegos height is unknown, but the average woman is 5 foot 4 inches tall, and if we assume the grate is made of metal, one inch of metal weighs 0.283 pounds, and the sewer grate looks to be about 1 and 3/4 times as tall as Carmen sandiego, and the same can be said with horizontally, so with this in mind, we can calculate that to move this aside even a little, it would mean she moved about 282.6 pounds.
Wiz: But that grate has a lot of open area, so even if we say that the weight was half of that, then she still moved about 141.3 pounds of metal.
Boomstick: Carmen has also been shown to block a volley of arrows before they could reach her, and considering that arrows can move up to 200 mph this was no easy feat, and it may be even higher due to the fact it was shot from compressed air and not from a bow.
Game boy next door: Carmen sandiego has also been shown to be able to quickly think on her feet, using basically whatever is around her to try and help her, and being shown to quickly react to enemy attacks, She has also been shown to be a master at acrobatics, as shown in almost every episode of the show.
Wiz: She’s also been shown to take hits from coach brunt, one of the strongest characters on the show, who was able to easily crush a phone. Phones are actually surprisingly tough and can withstand 100,000 pounds of pressure per square inch, she was also able to tear a gutter off a wall, and even though Carmen was seriously hurt from those attacks, she was still okay.
Boomstick: All that vile training helps her too, it taught her to be fast, nimble, smart, and good at combat, which means she likely knows many different forms of martial arts. She’s also a master of stealth, being able to disappear without a trace. Though a small problem with her is that she does tend to toy with her enemies
Game boy next door: she was also capable to survive a shot from a gun that can instantly knock people out, she was knocked out but she held off long enough to escape.
Wiz: Carmen sandiego has shown time and time again to be an excellent thief, maybe even the best one.
Sly Cooper[]
Wiz: Sly Cooper comes from a large family of thieves, even dating back to prehistoric times, they kept all of their special thieving moves in a book called the thieveius racoonus.
Boomstick: Then one day it was stolen, so he was sent on a hunt to find the people who stole it and he was to get it back. So he grabbed his hat, his cane, and his two friends bently and Murray, and went to go kindly pay a visit to the fiendish five. He ended up beating them up and taking his book back
Game boy next door: The thievies racoonus teaches sly very important moves, such as the knockout dive, he dives forward while twirling his cane, which can deal some serious damage. Other moves include the jump attack, an attack where he charges his cane up with electric energy before uppercutting his opponent, this move is so powerful it can even make enemies explode! But it needs to be charged up, and it becomes more powerful the longer it’s charged up.
Wiz: The thievius racoonus can also make him invisible, it’s a technique he learned from it, it doesn’t make any sense I know.
Boomstick: It doesn’t have to make sense to be cool! Although a slight problem is that if an opponent sees him the invisibility won’t work, and he goes painfully slow while invisible.
Game boy next door: Other moves include the spin attack, where he charges his cane with electric energy like with the jump attack, but this time he spins around in a circle, but this does take time to charge up, with it becoming more powerful the longer it’s charged up
Wiz: He also knows the techniques slow and fast, which do what they sound like. Make everything slow and fast respectively. The problem is that sly becomes slow or fast too, although his reactions remain unchanged which does help him a little. With the stealth slide he can slide across the ground while moving fast without making any noise. He also has the getaway racoon roll, where he rolls away at fast speeds while an electrical field surrounds him.
Boomstick: You know these seem less like techniques and more like weapons, but whatever. He can also toss his hat and make it explode, throw a decoy of himself that can fool enemies, he can pounce long distances with his feral pounce, with the insanity strike he can make his opponents attack their own allies, he can charge his cane with electrical energy and shock his opponents, which can kill most foes instantly.
Game boy next door: he can also stand on sharp points and rocks with ease, he can also walk across thin railings, and he can slide on laser beams somehow. He also has techniques that allow him to defy gravity, stay afloat in water, and he can create a portal that sucks his opponents somewhere unknown, though he needs to run a circle around his opponent to do this, and he needs to remain unseen. Now he has some costumes too, so let’s get through them.
Wiz: With the samurai costume, he becomes highly resistant to fire and can even block fireballs with his shield. With the sabertooth costume he wears a sabertooth pelt that can trick his opponents into thinking he’s dead, and he can jump long distances with it.
Boomstick: Sly also has the archer costume, he gains access to a bow and arrow and can also control how the arrow moves mid-air. With the jailbird costume, he carries around a big ball and chain which he can ride somehow.
Gane boy next door: And finally with the thief costume he can slow down time like with his slow technique, accept it doesn’t affect sly this time. Now it’s time for feats. Sly has been shown to dodge arrows and bullets, and was even able to move fast enough to block an energy bullet!
Wiz: Sly coopers cane is also an amazing took of his, he uses it to cling onto ropes and ledges and other areas, but it’s also a powerful tool, since it was able to easily smash apart iron gears, a feat which could take up to 40,000 psi. He’s also been shown to take hits from carmelita foxes shock pistol.
Boomstick: and that things pretty powerful! It was able to destroy a steel door like it was no problem! Which may require more force then the iron gears did!
Game boy next door: and sly Cooper doesn’t do this alone! He has his smart turtle friend bently! A recon man who gives sky the rundown of what to expect on a mission, sly uses his binoculars to let Bentley see what’s going on, and then there’s Murray, slys strong getaway driver who’s a wrestler. A small problem with him is that he can get a bit overconfident at times.
Wiz: In the end sly Cooper is a great thief, who is on a mission to keep his family legacy safe.
Pre-Fight[]
Wiz: All right the combatants are set
Game boy next door: Using the information we gathered we determined the most likely winner
Wiz: Now it’s time to end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: It’s time for a death battle!
Fight[]
Carmen sandiego got word from player that a V.I.L.E operative was planning on stealing the Mona lisa from the Louvre in Paris. So she planned on stopping them before that could happen.
Player: Alright red, the security is shut off, you’re good to go.
Carmen then made her way inside the museum through the roof.
Meanwhile, on another rooftop, Sly Cooper was watching over the same museum, he pulled out his binoculars and looked at the museum.
Bently: Alright sly, I got word here that the fiendish five are planning on stealing the Mona Lisa, security is low tonight but be careful of the security cameras.
Sly: Got it Bently.
Sly then made his way inside while avoiding the security camera, not realizing they were turned off.
Carmen made it to the Mona Lisa, but so did Sly. Sly then used his binoculars to see if he could get any insight on this woman
Carmen: Alright player I think I see the V.I.L.E operative, I don’t recognize them, they must be new.
Player: Alright then, be careful.
Sly: Hey Bently, who’s this woman?
Bently: I’m not sure, just try not the make any sudden mo-
Bently was cut off by Carmen punching sly in the face
FIGHT!
Sly was launched back but quickly got up, he then ran to Carmen and tired to hit her a few time, only for her to dodge all the attacks, sly kept swinging before he got a hit in.
Carmen was hit but she quickly retaliated by kicking sly in the chest and delivering a karate chop to his neck. Sly was a bit hurt but he still persisted by hitting her with his cane and running around a corner.
When he rounded the corner, he threw a decoy of himself to distract Carmen before turning invisible. Carmen came across the decoy and quickly punched it, but it fell apart.
Carmen: It’s a trap.
Carmen said before she turned around only to be met with a cane to the face. Sly then used his dive attack to push her backwards, carmen fell on the ground but quickly got up and delivered a kick to sky’s face.
After sly fell the the ground, he used his getaway fox roll the try and roll over to Carmen and harm her with the electric field, but carmen saw this coming and quickly grappled upwards through a window onto the roof.
However, when Sly saw her grappling, he quickly used his can to latch onto her leg to get up to the roof too, once Carmen got to the roof, sly whacked her with his cane.
She was hit on the head and she landed on the roof, with sly about to land on the roof too, but she quickly got up and jumped to sly before uppercutting him
Sly was knocked back and he landed on the roof. Sly quickly threw his hat but Carmen caught it
Carmen: What? Do you think a hats gonna stop me?
Sly: Yes
Sly then pushed a button on his cane and the hat blew up in carmens face, was knocked her backwards and she fell off the roof.
Meanwhile, player was busy trying to hack into Bentlys system to make sure sly couldn’t use him. Unfortunate for sly, player got in.
Bently was suddenly faced with all his tech short circuiting, and it all shut off.
Bently: Aww shi-
Sly peered over the edge to look at Carmen used his binoculars to try and get some help but he didn’t get anything.
Sly: Bently? Hello?
Sly didn’t get an answer, so he quickly changed into his thief suit and decided to jump down after Carmen.
Carmen shot her grappling hook towards sly but sly used slow, fortunately for him, he wasn’t affected by slow, he moved out of the way of the grapple hook and fell down to Carmen, he turned slow off and everything sped up.
Imagine the surprise on Carmens face when she saw this raccoon basically teleport to her, but she had no time to react because she was hit in the face with a cane and hit the ground. Sly fell on the ground and started charging up his spin attack.
Carmen got up and saw him charging up his cane, the spin attack was charged up to level three and Carmen was hit in the face, she was launched back and hit a building, creating a crack in it.
Sly ran over to Carmen but Carmen kicked him in the face, and then she used her grappling hook to quickly go over to him and kick him in the face.
She then uppercutted sly and grappled to him. She punched him in the face a few times, then when there was a break in the punches, he charged up his jump attack and hit Carmen with his cane.
Carmen was sort of hurt but kicked him in the gut again. He then started to fall to the ground, but in mid fall, she shot her grappling hook towards sly, which pierced his stomach and went right through him.
Carmen then rapidly went towards him, and as he hit the ground, she kicked him in the face, so when sly hit the ground, the force was enough to reduce slys head to a bloody pulp.
K.O!
Carmen got up and contacted player as she headed back to the museum.
Carmen: V.I.L.E operative down player
She walked back into the museum to find the Mona Lisa gone.
Carmen: Although he may have only been a decoy
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: Wow! That was brutal! Awesome!
Wiz: This was a very close fight, it could have easily gone either way, slys bigger and more powerful arsenal would be more then enough to overwhelm her
Game boy next door: But Carmen is no rookie, she’s been shown to quickly think on her feat and can very easily adapt.
Boomstick: Slys faster reaction time and the ability to slow down time doesn’t help Carmen either, but Carmen has been shown to be able to take hits from heavy hitters like coach brunt, and can easily deal as much punishment as she can take.
Wiz: Both have been shown to get overconfident at times, but Carmen has had actual training, sure the theivius racoonus did give Sly some experience, but the book mostly only gave him techniques.
Game boy next door: And since she has proven time and time again to easily steal items from people under their nose, like paper stars entire ammo of paper in her holster, there’s nothing stopping her from say, stealing slys cane, and considering he needs that to attack, he would be in a lot of trouble if that happened.
Boomstick: Yeah, and don’t get us wrong, there are many situations where sly could win, but Carmen has been shown to be smarter on her own, and considering the fact that player could likely hack into bentlys system with ease, then sly would be forced to go on his own without Bentlys help
Wiz: While Slys arsenal and better reaction time gave him an edge, Carmens better durability, ability to dish out punishment, experience, smarts, and better hacking team gave her the win
Boomstick: Looks like Carmen is the sly one now!
Game boy next door: The winner is Carmen Sandiego
The winner is Carmen sandiego
Next time[]
On the season finale of my death battle series, two walking dead series clash in an epic battle
Team the walking dead telltale vs team AMC the walking dead
Trivia[]
- This is the episode where I introduced a new host for my death battles