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Captain Hook vs Captain Jack Sparrow
CHvsCJS
Season 2, Episode 10
Vital statistics
Air date February 20, 2015
Written by Maxevil
Directed by Maxevil
Episode guide
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Captain Hook vs Captain Jack Sparrow is a What-if Death Battle, which will also serve as an 'Army themed Death Battle' for pirates.

Description[]

Peter Pan vs Pirates of the Caribbean! Which Pirate crew is the deadliest, including pirate captain?

Interlude[]

Wiz: Pirates, scourges of the seven seas that originated back in the mid 1000's.

Boomstick: They go around, blowing shit up with cannons and steal treasure.

Wiz: Captain Hook, the captain of the Jolly Roger...

Boomstick: ...and Captain Jack Sparrow, the on-&-off captain of the Black Pearl.

Wiz: Not only will these two pirate captains participate in this fight, but so will their ships and their respective crew for a swash-buckling 'army' themed fight.

Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to Analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Captain Hook[]

Wiz: Captain Hook has been known as being the hated enemy of Peter Pan.

Boomstick: And a good reason, in one fight, Peter Pan cut off Hook's left hand and fed it to a crocodile named Tick-Tock, who Hook fears of now, and decides to feed him an alarm clock to give Hook a warning of Tick-Tock's arrival.

Wiz: And now, all he wants is to get revenge on Peter Pan for that event, and as well as getting his treasure back.

Boomstick: And take everyone's of course, because that's what pirates do!

Wiz: Hook is a skilled swordsman when he wants to be, and he will use his own hook as a weapon to do some additional slashing.

Boomstick: He also carries but used one time his gun on one member of his crew who was singing some random music while playing an accordion. But despite all this that makes him so tough, he is basically a coward in which he is constantly chased by ol' Tick-Tock that we mentioned before.

Wiz: He also has somewhat of an incompetent crew as well, most of it coming from Mr. Smee though, but Hook is rather incompetent at times by himself as well. Though he has accomplished very few like pinning Tale Spin's Don Karnage to a tree and taking the treasure in Disney's Raw Toonage the TV Show.

Boomstick: Wow, I didn't know that, Wiz!

Wiz: You learn something new everyday, Boomstick.

Boomstick: Well, let's hope for Hook's sake that Mr. Smee doesn't screw it all up for him, same thing now for the rest of his crew, especially Sharky & Bones.

Captain Hook: Oh, Blast!

Captain Jack Sparrow[]

Boomstick: Captain Jack Sparrow is the total bad-ass of media's famous and infamous pirates!

Wiz: He was known for taking and losing the Black Pearl from his on-&-off shipmate, Hector Barbossa. But Jack Sparrow is so unpredicatable at times that he will strategy and try to get the Black Pearl back.

Boomstick: And steal treasure!

Wiz: Enough about the tresure already! Anyway, like Hook, Jack Sparrow is equipped with a sword and a a gun that Boomstick here means the flintlock pistol, he also has the musket with him, and despite having a sword on him and using it in combat, he is a terrible swordsman.

Boomstick: What?!, That's bullshit right there.

Wiz: His crew is most basically made of the most recurring between Joshamee Gibbs, the first mate who believes that curses are real in the seas, and the duo made of Pintel & Ragetti.

Boomstick: The comic relief duo of the black pearl, huh? Well, that could be worst.

Wiz: Maybe, but his weaknesses do include the fact that he is a terrible swordsman as we mentioned before, and that he doesn't always keep better track on the Black Pearl staying.

Boomstick: Not to mention always getting bitch-slapped by many hot babes!'

Wiz: But he has accomplished much, such as surviving and escaping Davy Jones' Locker, stabbing Davy Jones' heart despite the sword blade being broke off mostly by Davy Jones himself, he also survived a mermaid ambush and even discovered the long lost Fountain of Youth.

Boomstick: Man, if I were to become a pirate myself, I want Jack Sparow to be my idol.

Jack Sparrow: This shot is not meant for you. (then gets smashed in the back of the head by Mr. Brown and he falls to the ground)

Intermission[]

IntermissionCHvsCJK

Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, let's end the debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

Fight[]

On the ocean blue we see the Jolly Roger being sailed by Captain Hook and his crew.

Hook: Anything in sight, Mr. Smee?

Mr. Smee: There be another ship, Cap'n; port left, and it's black too.

Captain Hook: Maybe there will be treasure on board, set sail!

Mr. Smee: Aye, Aye, Cap'n!

As the Jolly Roger heads to the black ship, which is revealed to be the Black Pearl, we see the Black Pearl's captain, Jack Sparrow, and his crew.

Joshamee Gibbs: Captain, there is a ship coming towards us!

Captain Jack Sparrow: Hmm, that's Interesting.

Joshamee Gibbs: Do you think that ship be cursed?

Captain Jack Sparrow: I have know idea, but we won't know that by just standing afloat, we shall set sail to that ship too. And I mean now!

Joshamee Gibbs: Aye, Aye, Captain Sparrow!

As both ships meet side by side.

FIGHT!

Cannons from both ships try to fire at each other, while some of the pirates from each ship try to engage in sword-fights, very few of them died trying to.

Mr. Smee: Cap'n, we may be in a bit more of a jam than we'd be expecti...

Mr. Smee is interupted by Joshamee Gibbs who key-hauled him into the ocean blue.

Captain Hook: Smee! (to Jack Sparrow) You! This is all your fault, and I'll make you pay with all your treasure that you've got!

Captain Jack Sparrow: You have no idea who you're up against, knave. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!

The two Captains engage in a sword-fight, while a couple more members of each crew was being killed and thrown to the sea. We then see Sharky & Bones singing a song instead of fighting.

Sharky & Bones: Captain Hook is a Cranky Crook, an oddfish, codfish, sneaky crook; Captain Hook is a Cranky...

Sharky and Bones get cut off by Pintel & Ragetti slicing them in the necks, and get their instruments stolen from their freshly made corpses.

Hook & Sparrow continue their sword-fight, until they were on a plank, but Hook manages to finally knock Sparrows sword off his hand and it lands in the ocean.

Captain Hook: Now to run you through.

Hook does so, but Jack Sparrow jumps over it in the nick of time and lands on the flat side of Hook's sword.

Captain Hook: (as he tries to struggle on pulling his sword up) Get off of me sword, you bilge rat!

Captain Jack Sparrow: Saavy!

Sparrow does so causing Hook to shake around from feeling the wobbliness of his sword jiggling from being stepped on by Jack Sparrow and Hook trying to pull it out. Sparrow also takes the time to pull out his flintlock pistol and fires it at Hook's back. Hook falls on his front bleeding and Jack Sparrow threw him overboard to be fed by Tick-Tock (who has been secretly following Hook the entire voyage), And Jack Sparrow and his crew started collecting stuff off of Hook's Ship after the last member of Hook's crew is thrown overboard by Gibbs.

K.O.!

After sometime, The Black Pearl aims and get a couple of successful shots on the Jolly Roger to make it drown.

Results[]

(cue the Pirates of the Caribbean theme)

Boomstick: Wow, that is one swashbuckling Death Battle I've ever seen.

Wiz: Hook, maybe the better swordsman than Jack Sparrow, but because of the occasional bumbling of his crew, or his own self sometimes, Hook was never used to winning any sword fights against his foes like Peter Pan.

Boomstick: And in his fight against Jack Sparrow just now, it did no better that Jack Sparrow is just too unpredictable for him to kill, despite getting rid of Jack's sword.

Wiz: So Hook lost another sword-fight again, causing his ship to be robbed clean and sunken.

Boomstick: And yet again, Jack Sparrow is off the hook.

WinnerSparrowandCrew

Wiz: The Winners are Captain Jack Sparrow and his crew.

Trivia[]

  • This is Maxevil's seventeenth Death Battle episode.


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