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Description[]

F-Zero vs Metroid! Which Nintendo bounty hunter will win?

Interlude[]

Wiz: Samus beat the last bounty hunter she fought, but here is another one, this time from her own companies long list of IPs

Boomstick: Captain Falcon, the most badass racer to ever live. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE.


Captain Falcon[]

Wiz: Captain Douglas Jay Falcon comes from a history of law enforcement. He went from the police to a bounty hunting job hunting criminals. He also took a side job as an F-Zero racer.

Boomstick: This guy is a true badass. Very few people have a LASER as one of their weakest abilities. That thing is nothing compared to what Falcon is truly capable of.

Wiz: He has power over fire and electricity. He uses these moves for things like the Knee Jab, where he channels electricity into his knee for a powerful strike, or the Falcon Kick, where he either charges forward or straight downward with a fiery kick.

Boomstick: He can use the Raptor Boost, where he charges in with a powerful uppercut. Or the Falcon Dive, where he shoots upward, grabs an opponent, and literally explodes off of them.

Wiz: His ultimate move however the-

Boomstick: FALCON PAWNCH! This move lights his fist on fire as he punches with all of his might. He can somehow make this move stronger just by turning around. This move is badass, but it makes absolutely no sense. The punch even did this once! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esY2zdIsKaI

Wiz: That's....absurd

Boomstick: Absurdly awesome.

Wiz: Falcon is extremely fast, powerful, and agile. He can even kick away a sword like its nothing.

Boomstick: He sadly isn't perfect. His moves can take time to charge up, and he has few combat feats to speak of. Even so, you shouldn't underestimate the race car driving, falcon punching, ass kicking, badass Captain Falcon

Captain Falcon: Show me ya moves!

Samus[]

Wiz: Returning champion Samus Aran has a lot of stuff up her sleeve. Er, armor.

Boomstick: She was orphaned at a young age and adopted by the Chozo, a race of bird like aliens who gave her some of their DNA.

Wiz: She trained from when she was 3 to 14 years old, doing so under gravity 1000 times that of Earth's, making it impossible for normal humans to keep up with her.

Boomstick: She has a shit ton of weapons all kept in her Power suit that enhances her strength and durability. There's the Charge Beam, Ice Beam, Zero Laser, Super Missiles, Power Bombs, the Morph Bomb and a bunch of other shit. If you've seen Samus's previous fight(which you most likely have) you already know what these do so we'll keep things brief.

Wiz: The Charge beam is super powerful. The ice beam freezes. The power bombs have a massive explosion radius. The morph ball lets her avoid attacks easily. Her Zero Laser is a devastating laser beam that, if hit, essentially guarantees victory.

Boomstick: We aren't going to waste time on what you already know. And what you already know is that Samus is a badass

Samus: SSB4 Classic Mode ending



DEATH BATTLE![]

Wiz: Alright the combatants are set it's time to end this debate once and for all

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!!


Samus and Falcon are given bounties on each other. They find each other on a random ass planet

FIGHT!

Cue Mute City Music - Mario Kart 8

Samus fires her beam but Falcon dodges it and runs towards her. They fist fight a bit before Falcon pulls out his laser. Samus kicks the gun away and keep fighting. Falcon backs up, then comes back in with a Raptor Boost. It hits and Samus goes flying. Captain Falcon tries to follow up with a Knee Jab, but he misses and leaves himself wide open. Samus knocks Falcon across the landscape with a missile. Falcon charges in with a falcon kick and hits Samus. Then he gets huge combo of punches and kicks, ending it with a successful knee jab. Falcon then uses his almighty FALCON PAWNCH(anime version) but Samus hits him with the Ice Beam mid flight. She then sets down a power bomb, and uses her Zero Laser at the same time.

KO!

Results[]

Boomstick: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Wiz: While Falcon is powerful, Samus has fought more powerful foes, and Falcon would have way to hard a time keeping up Samus due to her training in 1000 times the Earth's gravity.

Boomstick: I guess Falcon should have thought of the woman he loved and gave his all.....

Wiz: The winner is Samus

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