Description[]
Bunny and Monkey Vs Zim and Dib! Not completely my ( SquirtSquirtle ) idea, but sure. Today, an invader and defender from two different universes fight each other with their arch-nemesis as partner. Will the pairs help each other? Or will hijinks ensue? Probably the latter, but anyways…
Intro[]
Broomstick and Wiz are doing their normal things. Nothing out of the ordinary for them. They’ve just found out the matchup, but they don’t seem all that interested.
Wiz: Look at that, another tag-team Death Battle.
Boomstick: You know, this is starting to get boring. I’ve dealt with thousands of these on this wiki alone.
Wiz: I am aware. Too many.
Boomstick: Yes. Anyways.. Our first tag team is Bunny and Monkey, two British animals from the popular comic Bunny vs Monkey, that absolutely hate each other ( yawn ), with one trying to take over that area. Let’s just say it’s got them into tons of messed up shit.
Wiz: And the second one is Zim and Dib from the hit Nicktoon Invader Zim. ( Ugh ) Like Monkey, Zim wants to take over a particular area, and Dib wants to stop him. Slightly differentiating motives, but similar enough to them. Again, let’s say shit went down.
Boomstick: I’m Boomstick and this is Wiz, and it’s time for yet…another…Death Battle!! ( yay )
Bunny and Monkey Squabble For Death Battle![]
Wiz: First duo on the docket is Bunny and Monkey, from Jamie Smart’s hit comic, Bunny Vs Monkey, which has been running in a comic magazine for over 11 years now. ( Since December 2011 )
Boomstick: They became popular once they became published into actual books, with them gaining fame after Rise of The Maniacal Badger, book 5 of the series and a hit for David Fickling. Book 6 and 7 became even more popular in turn due to this, making BvM a household British comic book name.
Wiz: That’s a bit of a mouthful. Anyways, Bunny is a peaceful rabbit who lives in the woods. However, when Monkey crash lands, he is being constantly harassed every single day of his life. Poor him. But he’s cunning, witty, and easily angered, with him knowing a thing or two about intelligence and inventing.
Boomstick: He eventually got alter-egos, such as Bunny The Brave and this Grass Wizard Bunny whose probably a weeb ( who lives in the Glitch/Supercharged dimension or whatever )
Boomstick: So, not everything is unlucky for him. But Skunky lives in his basement. Ew. And why is Bunny so stimulated-
Wiz: Do not make any conspiracy theories. We’re here to blurt out pure fact.
Boomstick: Fine, whatever. Anyways…
Wiz: Bunny is much more intelligent than what meets the eye, despite his overly wholesomeness . Skunky built him a massive robot, which Bunny used to strangle an artificial dragon to death. He has even made robots of his own, whether possibly by himself, or with collaboration from the others.
Boomstick: Bunny is also pretty stealthy. He managed to consistently steal Soufflés from Weenie via gliding with a kite.
Wiz: He has also survived the collapse of two dimensions and pretty much reality itself. God. And, despite there being 12 years ( where time passes in the universe, but none of the woodland creatures age a second ) of constant conflict, he hasn’t been defeated by Monkey and his gang yet. He even stood up and defeated his alternate self, who he banished into the Poop Dimension. Heck, with just sunglasses, he survived a ( implied ) 15 million degree blaze from Skunky’s Sun Replica!
Boomstick: But he has several fears too: He passed out when faced with robots taking over the woods, and probably really hates when Monkey draws pornography in his diary. Plus, he’s paranoid, and he is easily angered. He even freaks out when faced with doom usually, so don’t provoke him.
Boomstick: Next is Monkey.
Wiz: Once upon a tim- Okay, that sounds cringe, let’s skip that bit. Monkey was attempted to be sent to space by Meaniecorp labs. But in the end, he only managed to end up in the local woodland.
Boomstick: But he thought the mission was a success, so he decided to try and take over this “ planet “ and make it MONKEYOPIA™.
Wiz: Look how that ended up turning out. Every single time he tries, Bunny ( sometimes with his friends, sometimes alone ) usually beat him, with only the occasional slip-up, or Monkey only being defeated by himself. He has even been double-crossed by Bunny, when they were on a see-saw, and Bunny quietly stepped off and put a massive bag of deer shit in his place, resulting in Monkey doing a cannonball onto the See-Saw, and the deer shit bag falling right onto him. Yikes.
Boomstick: However, he does know the occasional inventing, and Skunky ( his pawn overlord ) might’ve accidentally taught him what not to do in his many failure inventions, and what to do in his good ones. But anyways..
Wiz: Monkey’s favourite weapon is the tree branch. Use it to “ thwack “ his opponents.
Boomstick: He also has a personal invention, Monkeyboom, a robot with one weakness: Worms. Like how Skunky’s weapons have 1 weakness that prevents their power. Like mentor, like mentee.
Wiz: Monkey has many similar feats to Bunny, because, ironically, despite being at each others throats, they infrequently work as a duo. However, Monkey has been converted into a robot and back, which is an impressive experience, if you ask me.
Boomstick: Oh yeah, and drawing porn in Bunny’s-
Wiz: Shut the fuck up. You’ve already mentioned that. Plus, on a downside, he’s obsessed with chutney. Chutney this, chutney that. He made it get into a giant ball as an obstacle in Skunky’s dungeon for fucks sake.
Boomstick: Anyway…
Zim and Dib invade the Competition at Death Battle![]
Wiz: Next we have this duet.
Boomstick: So basically, Zim is an alien, an actual one, unlike what Monkey thinks is an alien. Zim is a small alien who wants to invade planet earth.
Wiz: Naturally, this comes with its challenges, and has a whole array of weaponry in his arsenal to make things go smoothly. Most of his Arsenal is stored within PAK, also Zim’s secondary brain.
Boomstick: He even has a baseball bat, because what person is good without one?
Wiz: To prevent coming across as an alien, he has a human disguise.
Boomstick: Surprisingly, it works.
Wiz: Along with this, as an alien, he can survive large explosions.
Boomstick: He can even literally manipulate the human population into believing he was none other than Father Christmas himself. Talk about being dangerously gullible.
Wiz: Naturally, as an alien, he has his weaknesses. His head inflates if he tries to eat human food, and a single raindrop makes his skin burn. Plus, about that PAK thing, if Zim is separated from it, he’ll have to get it within 10 minutes, otherwise death with occur. He is arrogant and overzealous as well.
Boomstick: Certainly still a force to be reckoned with. Onto the next dude, Dib.
Wiz: Come to think of it, those names are just sad.
Boomstick: Yeah.
Wiz: Onto the number two, we have Dib Membrane.
Boomstick: Ah, this kid. A schoolchild who wants nothing but to see Zim suffer. His intelligence and surprisingly good athletic ability for some kid come in handy there.
Wiz: To make his goal of eradicating Zim, he has a vast roster of weaponry including a grappling hook, an explosive permission slip and naturally, a laser gun to combat Zim’s.
Boomstick: Dim uses some slyness to good ability too. He has broken into none other than NASA, multiple. Times. Apparently. Along with this, he did other things too, such as causing a massive car wreck, and took all power out in the Earth.
Wiz: Though, in the end, he’s still a human mortal with his weaknesses.
Boomstick: Urgh, starting to get sick of the weaknesses section. Done it thousands of times over!
Wiz: Whatever. Dib has huge outbursts, and anyone stronger than him can put this kid in his place via force. His luck is naturally terrible, has a severe case of paranoia, and has, like most schoolchildren - lice.
Boomstick: Anyway, let’s get onto to the…DEATH BATTLE!
Wiz: I don’t think we changed the line.
Boomstick: I don’t give a fuck Wiz, okay? I’m tired of the original. We’ve done it a thousand times over.
Wiz: Alright, alright. Let’s just get onto the battle now.
Boomstick: Sure, sure.
DEATH BATTLE![]
The sun is out in Crinklewoods. Bunny is walking around, and after narrowly saving Pig from getting blown to bits by an un-detonated landmine he’s kind of just minding his own business. Meanwhile, Skunky and Monkey are chilling out in the former’s lair. Some invention is hidden behind a cloth.
Monkey: Uhh, Skunky, what’s behind this cloth?
Skunky: Ah, Monkey, that is gonna be one of my greatest inventions yet! And coincidentally I was gonna give to you just about now. The invention will shoot out those from alternate dimensions, and I have assigned you to take them here, to be my *Monkey glares at him with disapproval* - I mean, our - servants! Since no one here is willing and qualified.
Monkey: So, uhhh. What’s it called? And what does it look like.
Skunky: *reveals invention and pulls out the cloth over it in dramatic fashion to reveal a massive toilet* It’s called the Dimensional-Flush 8000!
Monkey: *gasps in excitement* This’ll be fun.
Skunky: Alright, alright, off you go. I have better things to do while I wait. Here’s the toilet in its wagon for you to move.
In another dimension….
Zim and Dib are both in the boys toilets at the Skool. Zim is right behind the boys toilet Dib is in, preparing to jumpscare him when he opens the door.
Zim: *he’s not even whispering* Ooh, this’ll be fun. He’ll be so shocked he’ll go paler than he already is!
Dib: *offscreen, in the cubicle* I know what you’re thinking, you menace!
Zim: Oh, but can I scare you anyway?
Dib: Back off.
Zim: Ha Ha. Nope.
Dib: No, seriously. You should probably back off. *brief silence* *Dib aggressively pushes the door open , knocking Zim to the floor*
Zim: Ouch!
Dib: Told you.
Zim: Couldn’t you be a bit less aggressive?!
Dib: You brought it upon yourself.
Back to the other dimension.,.
Monkey is visibly struggling to move the toilet, eventually he sees Bunny walk by.
Monkey: So….heavy *notices Bunny*…..Bunny…help me….push this…to a remote area…please…
Bunny: Blimey, that does look heavy. I don’t think that looks safe for you. So, I can help out. Only thing is Pig and Weenie are having a tea party, and since I’m not planning to come, I need someone else to serve them orange juice. So, if I help you do this, is it okay if you do that?
Monkey: Please…for…anything…
Bunny: Alright.
*some pushing later*
Bunny: Done.
Monkey: Woo! Finally got it there. Now I can carry this out!
Bunny: ( in his thoughts ) Oh shit, this is the point where I regret everything I’ve done for him this morning.
Monkey: *pulls the trigger on the toilet*
Back to Zim’s dimension, Zim and Dib are washing their hands.
Zim: It still hurts!
Dib: That’s what you get for thinking of jumpscaring me, freak.
Zim: Hey!
*a portal slowly opens up below their feet*
Dib: *looks at the ground* Uh, Zim, I think a vortex is opening below our feet. Come and see for yourself.
Zim: I’m not falling for this! I know you’re gonna kick me in the stoma-*both fall in*
In Monkey’s dimension..
Bunny: *to himself* Eep.
Monkey: Hm? What did you say?
*Bunny is about to talk but is interrupted by Zim and Dib popping out of the toilet onto the ground*
Zim: What the fuck was that?!
Bunny: *to himself* Phew, think that one got salvaged.
Dib: For starters - *Bunny and Dib make eye contact by accident* Oh god! Is that rabbit standing on two feet?!
Monkey: Ooh, ALIENS!
Bunny: I can’t tell. They could be aliens, or just Hoo-men.
Monkey: Anyway, you two are gonna be my slave FOREVER.
Zim: Hey! My plan is to be ruling over whoever I can, I guess, and not be your slave!
Bunny: Only thing is that hoo-men who just talked is green.
Dib: First, that’s a really weird way of pronouncing human. Second, he’s not even human - he’s alien - and third, I’m sorry, we can’t let ourselves be your slaves.
Bunny: Oh, you’re not gonna be my-
Monkey: I don’t give one fuck about your thoughts, aliens! You’re gonna be my slave and that’s final!
Zim: There’s only one way to settle this.
Bunny: Oh shi-I mean oh bottoms. Heh heh.
Monkey: *whispering to Bunny about the fact that this isn’t gonna be published by David Fickling Books*
Bunny: Oh ok.
Dib: Back to the conversation, I think we can settle this with-
Zim: IRKEN ROULETTE!
Dib: I didn’t even know that existed, but whatever it is, it sounds like Russian Roulette, so no. Absolutely not.
Bunny: Personally I think we need less luck involved.
Monkey: A DEATH BATTLE!
Zim: Hmmm, sounds like a decent idea.
Dib: A death battle it is.
FIGHT!
Bunny quickly arms himself with an axe he was going to use to get wood ( before Action Beaver blew all the wood up for him ), he doesn’t want to kill anyone, but he’d rather live than die. He goes to his house to find something which could be useful.
Bunny: *to himself* Hopefully I can live with this.
More importantly, Monkey was trying to find one of Skunky’s strongest inventions for him: A massive tank. Naturally, to prevent him from getting there, Zim and Dib are on his tail. Zim has managed to get a tracking device to give him Monkey’s trail.
Zim: The tracking device is working! Soon we’ll have his head.
Dib: Ew. That’s disgusting.
Zim: It doesn’t matter how disgusting it is, Dib! He tried to enslave us. We’ll have our vengeance!
Dib: Don’t you think that’s taking it a bit too far? They’re trying to kill us, but simply just killing them and then getting out is enough, and even then-
Zim: Zip it, otherwise you’ll be picking up your teeth with broken fingers.
Monkey still finds the tank.
Monkey: Ha! Found it.
However, Monkey is cornered.
Monkey: Oh…shit.
Zim: SAY YOUR PRAYERS, IMBECILE!
Monkey: Wow, when I look at you up-close, your heads are like - really huge. It’s almost surreal, y’know? Yeah-
Zim: THATS ALL YOU CAN SAY!
( Zim quickly fires at Monkey, Monkey jumps onto the tank )
Monkey: Ha! Missed me!
Zim: GRRRRR!
Dib: If you don’t mind me, I’m gonna go look for Bunny. *walks away*
Meanwhile, Bunny has found some useful stuff: Some kitchenry for armour, and a spatula in case he loses his axe. Now he’ll just try to keep himself safe. Naturally though, Dib is looking for him, and chances are a fight will break out.
Bunny: Blimey, this feels surreal.
Dib: *runs over to Bunny* Alright, rabbit, let’s make this quick. I have bigger fish to fry.
Bunny: Yeah, and I presume I’ll still die a painful death?
Dib: Dunno. Hopefully not.
Bunny: Well…Who am I kidding the deaths almost certainly gotta hurt.
Dib: Well if you surrender now, I won’t have to violently restrain you.
Bunny: Yeah, I think I’m gonna run away. *runs away*
Dib: *chases Bunny*
Eventually they ended up where Monkey and Zim were basically having a stand-off.
Zim: Get out of the tank! Now!
Monkey: Say that once more and I’ll blow your head off!
Zim: Well, why haven’t you done that already?
Monkey: Urhm…because Bunny will make me clean up the blood?
Zim: *starts laughing uncontrollably*
Monkey: GRRRRR….*points gun to Zim’s head*
Zim: *continues laughing uncontrollably, before looking around, and abruptly stopping* Wait a second, I thought you said you wouldn’t, anyway *gets out some huge laser gun* SAY YOUR FINAL GOODBYES, IDIOT!
Monkey: Oh god. Well this is gonna be a think fast test.
*BANG*
The explosion can be heard by Dib and Bunny.
Bunny: Blimey, what was that?!
Dib: I have no idea, but it was probably from the tank that Monkey was in.
Bunny: Wait, Monkey’s in a tank? Also, perhaps we can truce to see what happened?
Dib: You know what, just this once.
Out of curiosity, they have briefly broke up the chase and head to where Monkey and Zim were fighting. One of them is dead. But who is it? ( Don’t worry this isn’t a To Be Continued-only thing, this’ll stay in the final edition ) Hey, stop breaking the fourth wall! ( Fine, fine. )
And…. Zim is dead!
ZIM KILLED BY MONKEY.
Bunny: Oh my god!
Dib: I can’t believe it…after all this time….Zim…he’s finally dead….it already feels so strange without him…
Monkey: Har har! Once I’ve dealt with this big-head, you’re next, Bunny!
Dib: (Think, Dib, think. What the fuck could defeat this murderer. Oh, he’s a Monkey. Hmmmm. Aha! Bananas. ) *runs for a few seconds before finding a banana Monkey left behind when getting into the tank*
Dib: Hey, Monkey! *walks to a cliff* Want a banana?
Monkey: OOH! BANANAS!
Monkey is lured to the cliff.
Dib: *drops the banana* Look, Monkey, the banana is down there.
Bunny: *runs up to the cliff* Monkey, I - uh - will let you have some of Weenie and Pig’s orange juice! With some banana cupcakes, too! Just whatever you do, don’t take the banana.
Monkey: Banana cupcakes?! Made by you?
Bunny: Oh bum, uhhhhhhh, yes?
Monkey: Oh, wow.
Bunny sighs in relief.
Monkey: You always burn your food. I’m just gonna take this banana.
Bunny: Wait - WHAT?! NO! DON’T!
Monkey jumps off the cliff.
MONKEY KILLED BY…UHHHH…HIMSELF?
Dib: Oh my god! I wasn’t expecting that to work! That’s…really…surreal…I think I killed someone! Who am I kidding can’t be! I don’t fucking know at this point!
Bunny: YOU…
Dib: This isn’t real. This is just a dream, and when I get brutally murdered I’m gonna wake up. Hey uhhh, Bunny, pinch me. I heard that wakes people up.
Bunny instead tackles Dib.
Dib: Okay, actually, on second thought, I don’t think this is a dream. Oh fuck.
Dib: *Stands up* Well, if this isn’t a dream….I will not die. *gets out Video Game Sword*
Bunny: *takes up his normally firewood-chopping axe* Get out.
And…an almost epic swordfight begins. Thing is, if Bunny also had a sword, it would be epic. Except he has an axe. So it’s almost epic.
Some slashing later, Bunny and Dib are both pretty weak.
Bunny: Dib, please. Just lose for me.
Dib: What? I have a family for gods sake! I shall win!
Soon, both are on their knees.
Dib: Ack.
Bunny: I don’t think…this can go any longer….
Dib: ..Hm. *tries to stand up, but falls to the ground* Ouch.
*brief, tense, silence*
Bunny: Alright. *tries to stand up, barely manages* Phew.
Dib stares both in shock and helplessly.
Bunny attempts to kill Dib with a stomp on the head. He hesitates.
Bunny: I..can’t?
Dib: Mercy! Please! I have an idea.
Bunny: ..what is it?
Dib: I feel like we should just…sue for peace? We’ve been through enough.
Bunny: This.. doesn’t sound right. You sure?
Dib: Yes! Yes!
Bunny: Wellll, if you say so.
Bunny and Dib are both quietly thinking one thing: Kill or be killed.
They stand up.
They stare.
They try to shake hands, but both of em hesitate.
They then panic. Oh, forgot to mention. The next procession is that they STAB EACHOTHER.
Both fall to the ground. Both of them look at each other one final time, as they bleed out.
TIE!
Results[]
Boomstick: Oh my god. This was popcorn-material.
Wiz: I know, right? A tag team fight over a vast arena. No winner.
Boomstick: Neither of them had a speck of trust in the end. The paranoia got em.
Wiz: Crazy, innit.
Boomstick: Yup. That was...an episode.
THE WINNER IS...
NOBODY! Damn.
Trivia[]
- This is SquirtSquirtle’s first Death Battle. Hopefully I can get this finished soon.