| The Intelligent Carnivores
| |
|---|---|
| Season 2, Episode 2 | |
Vital statistics
| |
| Air date | February 7th, 2019 |
| Written by | Jackythejack |
| Directed by | Jackythejack |
Episode guide
| |
| Previous | Next |
| Frank West vs. Phoenix Wright | ??? |
Blue vs. Alex is the second episode of Jackythejack's second season of Death Battle, putting Blue from Jurassic World up against Alex the Lion from Dreamwork's Madagascar
Description[]
The dinosaurs of old versus the lions of the modern world! Jurassic World vs. Madagascar! These two carnivores are the smartest in their series, but who will come out on top?
Prelude[]
Wiz: Carnivores, meat eaters, whatever you wanna call them. They're all dangerous, and they're all hungry for flesh. Honestly, they're the perfect contestants for death battles.
Boomstick: But animals are normally too dumb for this show, Wiz! I mean, Yoshi vs. Riptor was one thing, but that's a special case.
Wiz: Except there are some animals that are actually much smarter than we give them credit for. Such as these two combatants! Blue, the leader of the velociraptor pack in Jurassic World.
Boomstick: And Alex the Lion, the star of the Central Park Zoo in New York! He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Blue[]
Wiz: A long time ago, dinosaurs had ruled the world. The age of man would come several thousands, maybe millions of years later, and giant lizards would walk the earth. These were the periods before man, where everything was left alone. Almost peaceful, in a way.
Boomstick: Then every single one of them died.
Shows a meteor colliding into the earth.
Boomstick: Well, I guess all good things can't last, right?
Wiz: It would take thousands of years for a new dominant species to enter the world, and this would come place in the form of humans. Us two legged creatures with opposable thumbs and the abilities to survive.
Boomstick: And you know what happened at that point. Literally, it's all history. We advanced, we killed each other, we sorta fucked up the planet as a whole. Man, we kinda suck, honestly.
Wiz: Though the destruction of their planet and their own civilizations wasn't enough. for the humans, so instead they decided to try and play god. They decided that they were going to bring back a long dead race. They were going to bring back the dinosaurs.
Boomstick: So some old guy with way too much money on his hands decided that he wanted to bring back the dinosaurs, which...he did! And so he did anything a sane person would do, put them all in a simulated habitat and let people stare at them!
Wiz: And this dinosaur exhibit was called...Jurassic Park.
Plays for a few seconds before a needle scratch, the music stops
Boomstick: But then everything went to shit.
Wiz: As it turns out, keeping dinosaurs in pens and not having...any real way of stopping them if they go wild, is a really bad idea.
Boomstick: Yeah, no kidding.
Wiz: After a big incident with the dinosaurs escaping from captivity, and causing havoc among the general populace, the Jurassic Park would, of course, have to shut down.
Boomstick: And then a few years later or whatever, they decided to do the same thing again, except this time it wasn't Jurassic Park. They put a shiny new name on it and called it Jurassic World! And then that went to shit too! You'd think they'd learn, jeez.
Wiz: Humanity would be forced to repeat its past mistakes as the dinosaurs would escape from captivity once more and end up killing several people. Many dinosaurs escaped, including the terrifying, genetically altered Indominus Rex.
Boomstick: However, none were as intelligent as the leader of the velociraptor pack, Blue the do-I mean, velociraptor!
Blue lets out a shriek
Wiz: Not much can be really said about Blue, as she's just the same as every other dinosaur in Jurassic World. She's a genetically altered dinosaur born in a lab to be female so she can't reproduce with the other dinosaurs. She was actually one of the first dinosaurs made for the velociraptor pack.
Boomstick: And she was trained by Starlord! I mean, how cool is that! Jurassic World got Starlord to work with them!
Wiz: Uh, not quite, but Blue was raised by a man called Owen Grady, who was-
Boomstick: Starlord in disguise, of course!
Wiz: Able to imprint himself onto the velociraptors in order to train them. He was recognized as the alpha of the pack and was able to make them stop attacking people.
Boomstick: That is, until some asshole decided to use them to hunt the hybrid Indominus Rex, which ultimately didn't work too well for them, let's be honest.
Wiz: It was here that Owen would lose his status as the alpha of the pack, and the velociraptors would turn on the humans, and this is where we get a good chunk of feats from Blue herself.
Boomstick: We can't talk about Blue without talking about all the things that she's done, of course! First of all, she was able to fight off another member of her pack, Echo. Hell, she was able to beat the bitch so hard that she left a scar on her face and leaving her jaw offset. Talk about a cat fight.
Wiz: Of course, that amount of power pales in comparison to the other things that she's capable of, such as being able to fight the Indominus Rex, or at least participate in fighting it, though this wasn't without sacrifice on behalf of her pack.
Boomstick: Rest in piece you little dino badasses *sniff*
Wiz: Though a good chunk of her pack had died, Blue was still able to fight the Indominus Rex and actually was shown to cause harm to the genetically modified dinosaur, or at least it was for a while.
Boomstick: And not to mention it fought another one of those weird genetic dinosaurs when it fought the Indoraptor, and unlike the Indominus Rex before it, Blue was able to actually kill this one by making it fall out a window and impale itself! Holy shit, that's hardcore!
Wiz: And let's not forget that during it's fight with the Indominus, it was hurt by the creature, with enough force to break a stone pillar, and Blue survived this, albeit was very injured afterwards.
Boomstick: But considering that a little dinosaur took that much damage! Jeez, how did these things ever go extinct?
Wiz: Well actually the Jurassic Park dinosaurs likely aren't accurate depictions of velociraptors. You see, Velcoiraptors are actually smaller and-
Boomstick: Lalala! I can't hear you! You can't ruin the awesome for me!
Wiz: Uh...right. Either way, though Blue barely survived the attack, it did survive and it shows that she can survive attacks of similar powers. I mean, she even took a bullet and was able to survive, with some medical assistance, however.
Boomstick: On top of that, Blue is fast! Blue should be about as fast as a real, natural velociraptor, if not faster considering genetic manipulation. Keep in mind that a velociraptor can run up to sixty miles an hour pretty easily, that's about as fast as a car can go on the highway!
Wiz: And of course, Blue's greatest attribute is her intelligence. Velociraptors are smart on their own, at least in the Jurassic Park universe, but in this case, Blue is even smarter than a normal velociraptor. She was smart enough to become the leader of her pack, after all, and is proficient in sneak attacks and communicating within her pack.
Boomstick: And with her being a velociraptor, she has enhanced senses, sharp teeth and even sharper claws. She can even see in the dark, which gives her the perfect combination for a silent, but deadly monster.
Wiz: WIth a kill count involving many armed humans and several dinosaurs, Blue has made themselves a force to be wreckoned with.
Owen: This ones called Blue, she's the Beta.
Blue snarls
Alex the Lion[]
Wiz: What would you do if you had all the fame you could imagine? You had the spotlight on you constantly, and you were primmed and pampered just for being you?
Boomstick: Damn, sounds like I'd let that get to my head.
Wiz: Well, that was exactly what happened with Alex the Lion, from Dreamworks Madagascar series.
"You know the words, just two little words. New York!"
Wiz: Originally born under the name of Alakay in Africa, Alex would be raised by the leader of the lion pack, Zuba, who would try to teach him how to hunt.
Boomstick: But instead of hunting like a real man, Alex decided that he just wanted to dance. He felt the grove in his feet, can you blame the kid?
Wiz: However, one day, during one of his hunting lessons, he was captured by a group of hunters. Wanting to save his son, Zuba would chase after the truck and try to knock the crate off.
Boomstick: But then the dude got shot! God damn Dreamworks!
Wiz: Though, he was successful, in...a way. The crate was knocked off the truck in the process of Zuba trying to get to his cub, but it fell into a nearby river, and...went out to sea.
Boomstick: And he...ended up in New York City!? What the hell!? Wiz, how far away is that?
Wiz: Almost 8,000 miles, or about 7,576 miles, to be exact.
Boomstick: God damn, the kid must've been starving when he came out! Either way, Alex ended up being taken in by the Central Park Zoo, where he was the star of the show ever since.
Wiz: And it was here that he'd make several unorthodox friends, such as Gloria, Marty, and Marvin, who are hippos, zebras and giraffes respectively.
Boomstick: However, things would just get crazier for Alakay, as, due to problems with his friends, he'd be sent back to the wild, towards Africa once more! Back to hit roots, I see.
Wiz: However, there would be a problem caused by...some penguins. The ship almost overturned and the boxes would be pushed into the ocean once more, stranding the friends off at sea. Before they ended up on the island of Madagascar, and this is where the true-
Boomstick: Wiz I'm gonna stop you there. Where the hell were they going to take these animals that they ended up in Madagascar of all places!? Also they just so happened to end up on the same island? That's a bunch of bullshit.
Wiz: I...think you're looking too far into it. Anyways, this is where the bulk of Alex's feats begin to show, but first let's talk about his natural abilities.
Boomstick: And let me tell you, a lion is badass! With killer claws and killer teeth, Alex has a lot of natural weapons that can tear into a bad guy.
Wiz: On top of that, Lions are incredibly fast, as they can run a heaping 50 miles per hour, and on top of that Alex seems to be surperior to a normal lion in the first place, so his abilities are likely even greater than what we just mentioned.
Boomstick: Alex has also actually seen combat before too, uh...surprisingly. He's fought many of the fossa on the island of Madagascar, and he didn't do this by biting or clawing at them, but instead doing things like karate kicks and karate chops!? Holy shit!
Wiz: It was these skills that allowed Alex to take down several groups of Fossa, which were predatory animals in Madagascar, and he was able to take down many of them at once, not even breaking a sweat.
Boomstick: Yeah, that's pretty cool and all, but let's talk about one of the lion's most sworn enemies! Nana!
Nana: Bad kitty!
Wiz: Well, no, she's not actually Alex's worst enemy, but she is actually one of the people that gives him a run for his money. She's one of the people that has fought Alex the most, and Alex has actually harmed her on several ocassions.
Boomstick: Oh, so when the lion harms old ladies, it's impressive, but when I do it, I'm suddenly some kind of monster. What's the big deal about hurting some old bag anyways?
Wiz: Well, you'd really have to consider all of the things that Nana has experienced and gone through. She's taken a lot of punishment. She's survived being hit by a speeding safari bus, and she's survived an explosion that enveloped her entire apartment, and Alex can just hurt her like it's nothing.
Boomstick: Which actually means that Alex had to cause more damage than that explosion! Woah! Who knew that punching an old lady could make you so badass.
Wiz: That's not the only durable woman Alex had punched. He has also gone toe to toe with Chantel Dubois, an animal catcher who is capable of taking explosions from over one hundred sticks of dynamite, and a stick of dynamite is stated to be contain a megajoule. This means that Chantel can withstand an attack of over one hundred megajoules.
Boomstick: And that's a third of what it takes to completely vaporize a normal human being! Chantel should have just been a blue blood stain on the wall after something like that!
Wiz: Alex doesn't only have strength on his side, though. He also has speed. He can keep up with Chantel Dubois, who can slice bananas coming out of a gatling gun.
Boomstick: That doesn't sound like something I should question.
Wiz: Absolutely not. But on top of keeping up with Dubois speedwise, Alex is also agile. he's a dancer by nature, and he can use his aerobic skills to dodge oncoming attacks. Though he...doesn't actually fight often.
Boomstick: Yeah, Alex is a bit of a pussy-cat. But! That's only in his normal form, Wiz. You forgot about his serious mode, which is kinda like berserk mode for Wolverine, except not as cool.
Wiz: And not nearly as common. This only happens when Alex is incredibly hungry, and he needs meat to sustain himself. This is when he becomes incredibly serious and doesn't mess around with his opponents. It's sort of like a natural bloodlust. This was how he was when he came across the Fossa, and it almost caused him to kill his friend Marty the zebra.
Boomstick: Damn, that would've been dark for a dreamworks movie. Sounds like Alex has a little trouble restricting himself when he gets hungry. Trust me, kitty, I know that feeling.
Wiz: However, what Alex lacks in restraint and fighting experience he more than makes up for in sheer strength and durability. This is one king of the jungle you don't want to mess with.
Alex lets out a mighty roar, which scares Mort, only for him to start comforting Mort.
Pre-Battle[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: It's time for a death battllllllle!
Battle[]
A lone lion was walking through the jungle. Though, this wasn’t any lion. This was a lion that was famous for his position at the Central Park Zoo, up in New York. Well, up? Down? He honestly didn’t know anymore. It had been so long since he had made it back home, or even got the slightest idea what was happening. All he remembered was that he was with his friends in Africa, and suddenly...everything went black. By the time he woke up there was only one thought going through his head.
Feed
Alex was hungry, and when Alex is hungry, Alex must eat. That’s exactly what he was prowling around in all of this foliage for. He was looking for something to feast on; something to kill and then devour. Anything to appease his hunger. It didn’t make him feel weak, but it made him...angry. Incredibly vicious. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to control himself if he came across a creature that could be a potential meal.
His senses heightened to look out for any signs of fresh meat nearby, Alex was quick to hear the rustling of the bushes beside him. He stopped and took several steps back, bringing his paws up in a karate-like pose and glaring at the foliage. He let out a low growl.
There was more rustling from within the bush, and he prepared for something to come out so he could pounce it, but instead, all that came out was...a butterfly? Alex frowned and dropped his guard as he watched the butterfly fly away. He stared at it for several seconds before shrugging.
“Huh. For a second I thought-” His dialogue was cut off as there was a sudden figure lunging out of the bushes and tackling Alex, launching him back and causing him to tumble. Instincts took over and Alex hopped back onto his feet and made another karate pose.
In front of him was some weird lizard thing with a blue stripe along its body. Actually, wait, hold on a second… “A dinosaur? What’s a dinosaur doing-”
Fight!
Alex was once again cut off as Blue let out a screech and lurched forward with one of its claws at the ready. Alex was easily able to dodge it, tap dancing out of the way before running forward and delivering a swift kick to the dinosaur’s head.
Blue snarled in response and glared at the lion before running forward once more and swiping with her claws once again. Alex blocked the attack by batting away at Blue’s arm, before the claws could make contact. This didn’t go well for the lion, however, as all it resulted in was him getting his arm bitten by the velociraptor. Alex winced and roared out in pain as he smacked the raptor on the top of the head.
Blue refused to let go so easily, however, and ran one of her claws down the bipedal lion’s chest, causing two long gash marks to appear on his upper torso. Alex could only wince this time as he brought out his own claws and raked them across the velociraptor’s face. The dinosaur snarled out in pain as there were several red lines trailing along the top of it’s head. It snarled once more and backed away before running into the forest.
Alex, now smelling blood and more than ready to feed on something, narrowed his eyes and followed after the velociraptor, going on all fours to chase after the dinosaur. The lion was faster, quickly gaining speed on the dinosaur, with the only problem being his big size which slowed him down on the overgrown foliage in this strange, jungle looking place.
Alex roared once more and pounced towards the velociraptor, only for Blue to make a sudden right turn, causing Alex to fly face first into a tree. He let out a groan and stumbled back, putting a hand to his nose. Ow, he might be bleeding from that. That hurt a lot more than he expected….
Before he could adjust to the pain, he was pounced on by the leader of the velociraptor pack, who sank her teeth into his back the moment she had the chance to. Alex let out a snarl and began to thrash around, going back onto her two front legs as Blue thrashed about and tried to dislodge a piece of Alex’s back.
Thinking on his feet, Alex decided that the best course of action would be to slam his back into the nearby tree. So, that was exactly what he did. He ran backwards and slammed Blue into the tree, crushing her between the giant jungle plant and his own back. Blue let out a weird, scratchy snarl before Alex did it once again, and Blue would only let go after the third bashing into the tree.
Blue let go of the lion and scrambled onto the ground. She wasn’t able to get up in time and Alex leaped on her, pinning her to the ground by lying on top of her. He let out a roar and lunged towards her neck for a killing bite, but with one lucky swipe of her claws she was able to hit him in the arm, which caused it to buckle up and made the lion fall over, allowing her to slip away just in time.
Alex stumbled to his feet and glared at the prehistoric predator. He let out another low growl and watched as it ran off. He had to hunt it down, but his arm was in too much pain to go down on all fours. He needed to get that food somehow, though…
Luckily for the lion, he wouldn’t have to wait for long, as Blue suddenly hopped out of the forest and ran towards Alex with her claws outstretched, ready to slash at him. Unluckily for her, however, Alex was prepared for retaliation, and knew what to do should the velociraptor come charging at him.
Alex leaped out of the way, turning it into an impressive backflip as he kept his eyes on the velociraptor. It disappeared into the nearby foliage once more before appearing once again, this time behind Alex. He spun around just in time to deliver a roundhouse kick to the velociraptor while it was mid-pounce. Blue was knocked aside and was slammed into a nearby tree. It fell to the ground and it got back up, bloody and dazed, but still willing to fight. She ran towards the foliage once more.
“I don’t think so, dead meat.” Blue felt her tail be grabbed by the lion in question and she let out a loud snarl before turning around and attempting to slash the lion’s arms. A quick punch to the raptor’s face was enough to silence her and stop her movements all at the same time. Then, Alex hoisted the Velociraptor over his head and slammed her into the ground.
Blue let out a hoarse cry of pain as Alex once again pinned her down, placing his hands on the side of her body. His claws poked out of his paws and he swiped them across the velociraptors body. Blue screeched in pain, writhing around and trying to break the lion’s grip.
Her pain and screeching would be cut short, however, as Alex would lunge his mouth to the raptor’s neck. He made contact, and sank his teeth into her neck. One final, now gurgly screech would escape the raptor’s lips before she fell limp.
K.O!
Alex had already let his animalistic side take over him entirely and he let out an excited chuckle before digging into the velociraptor’s hide. He didn’t exactly like the taste, but he enjoyed it well enough. Anything was better than starving, after all.
Once finally finished with the velociraptor corpse, Alex let out a loud, vicious roar and ran off into the jungle.
Analysis[]
Boomstick: Is it weird that I feel bad about killing an animal?
Wiz: Blue was a tough and intelligent opponent, one that could easily give Alex a challenge any day of the week, but ultimately, Blue just couldn't stand up to the sheer power, durability and actual skill of Alex
Boomstick: Yeah, no matter what Blue could do, she just couldn't really hurt Alex all that much. the guy's taken much more damage than something a little velociraptor could.
Wiz: Not to mention Alex's far greater than a normal animal's intelligence, and his actual fighting skill, knowing actual martial arts like karate. This was essentially a skilled and durable human versus a wild animal.
Boomstick: In the end Alex really took a bite out of the blues.
Wiz: The winner is Alex the Lion.