Description[]
A half-vampire, half-human vs a half-demon, half-human duke it out to see who is the best monster hunter is!
Interlude[]
Wiz: In the real world there is no nature vs nurture argument, only an infinitely complex and moment by moment interactions between genetic and environmental effects”-Gabor Mate. And these two characters fit this description to a T.
Boomstick: Blade the half-human, half-vampire of Marvel.
Wiz: And Hellboy the half-human, half-demon of Dark Horse.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I’m Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Blade[]
Wiz- If you were to look up the Ten worst years in British history what would you see?
Boomstick- Mostly war stuff and other boring things I don’t care about.
Wiz- But one thing they failed to mention in any list we’ve seen was London, had a vampire problem.
Boomstick- Born on October 24th 1922. Eric Brooks wasn’t given a fair childhood.
Wiz- That's an understatement Boomstick. You see before he was born things were pretty ruff for his parents. His father Lucas Cross worked for a secret organization called the Order of Tyrana and eventually was taken as a prisoner but before that happened he sent his pregnant wife Tera to England where she took the name Venessa Brooks.
Boomstick- But when she was about to give birth to little Bladey over there, turns out that the doctor that was helping her give birth was actually a ravenous vampire and was feasting on her as she was giving birth to Eric.
Wiz- Sadly Vanessa died during the process. However there was some “good news” I guess.
Boomstick- HELL YEAH there was! Turns out, while the doctor was eating her neck, he transferred vampire-like enzymes to little Eric and altered his DNA.
Wiz- Though this DNA did not change the fact he was an orphan. However while he was growing up on the streets of London he ran into a group of vampires but was saved by Jamal Afari, an American veteran Vampire Slayer. After finding out about Eric's origins he helped him control his powers and taught him everything he knew about killing vampires.However during his time of training he decided to change his name to something more fitting for a vampire slayer, and named himself after one of his favorite weapons to use.
Boomstick- Blade.
Wiz- But to be honest that's kind of dumb to name yourself after your favorite weapon, that's like if you named yourself Boomstick because…(stops talking)
Boomstick- (Gives Wiz the harry eye) You were saying?
Wiz- (pulls his collar and turns his head to the right) Um….nothing. Anyway, being half-human and half-vampire has its perks.
Boomstick- You got the basic stuff such as superhuman strength, speed, durability, stamina, bla bla bla but, one thing that makes him different from other vampires is the fact that he doesn't have any of their basic weaknesses such as garlic, holy water and sunlight.
Wiz- Thanks to his vampiric genes he has some level of immortality and possesses a healing factor….
Boomstick- Of course he does.What superhero doesn’t at this point.
Wiz- He is also a Master Martial Artist. Having learned Boxing, Capoeira, Escrima, Jeet Kune Do, Hapkido, Jujutsu, Shotokan Karate, Kung Fu, and Ninjutsu.
Boomstick- Not only that, he’s an Expert Marksman and Swordsman!
Wiz- Blade is basically proficient with every form of weaponry known to man, but he does have his favorites. He wears Kevlar body armour and carries around……..
Boomstick- Can I say this part!
Wiz- Go for it,
Boomstick- (Inhales) Blade carries around a double edge titanium sword alongside a bunch of smaller throwing knives, a boot stake perfect for surprise attacks and A SHIT TON of guns! Such as his sub-machine pistol which can fire carbon bullets, silver bullets alongside bullets filled with garlic. Perfect for vampires! Plus a Multi Launcher which can shoot grenades, bolts, explosive bolts, blades,silver blades, grenades and UV grenades, and finally a shotgun that fires normal shells, but can also shoot fucking silver nitrate shells and explosive shells! Oh yeah one last thing to add. He has a fucking adamatium sword! How does he carry all of this shit?! Oh yeah plus keep this in mind. These weapons are custom-designed for him so everything has in some shape or form silver, garlic, sunlight, ultraviolet rays and anticoagulants.
Wiz- His arsenal isn't the only impressive thing here. He's stronger than Captain America,took on 4 Doombots while unarmed, has dodged lasers, jumped up 3 stories, has survived a plane crash and came out completely unharmed, has thrown a wooden stake through a vampire's mouth breaking its teeth in the process, and can sense demons.
Boomstick- How can this guy lose!?
Wiz- Well, while Blade may not possess most of the weaknesses most other vampires do, he does share one weakness with them. His thrust for blood. Without blood he becomes weak, but he does have a solution to that problem. He carries around Blood serum which he can inject into himself to give give him his strength back, make what would be fatal wounds heal fast and puts him back in peak condition
Boomstick- Yeah, while Blade may be able to eat garlic bread and go tanning that blood thing will always be there.
Wiz- However quick note, while his healing factor does help him well “heal”, we do want to tell you that his isn’t really as good as you may think it is.
Boomstick- Yeah it isn’t in the same ballpark as Wolverines or Deadpools. What could take seconds to heal for them could take minutes to hours depending on the severity, plus if an arm gets cut off it won’t grow back.
Wiz- And while yes Blade can walk out in the sun with no issue, he actually is weak to red sunlight and if exposed to it for too long is fatal for him. But nevertheless, even with those minor flaws. If you are a blood sucking vamipre in the streets of London. Watch out, because the daywalking human vampire is coming for you.
Blade:"They call me, Blade. And I hunt those who feast on humans"