Blade vs Buffy Summers is a What-if Death Battle made by Kamehameha300.
| Blade vs Buffy Summers | |
|---|---|
[[File: | |
| Season 1, Episode 5 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | N/A |
| Written by | Kamehameha300 |
| Directed by | Kamehameha300 |
Episode guide
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| Boba Fett vs Star-Lord | Kan-Ra vs Ermac |
Description[]
Vampire Slayer vs Vampire Slayer! Who's slaying skills will prove superior?
Interlude[]
(Cue Invader Jim Johnston)
Boomstick: Wiz, you're smart right?
Wiz: Uh. Yeah?
Boomstick: So riddle me this. What is cooler than a vampire?
Wiz: I don't know. A Vampire Sla-
Boomstick: A VAMPIRE SLAYER! The ones that make those bloodsucking bastards look like pussies! Like Blade, the Daywalker.
Wiz: And Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their Weapons, Armor, and Skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Blade[]
Wiz: Eric Brooks was a boy born in the Soho Neighborhood;a bad one at that. He lived in a brothel and-
Boomstick: HAHA! He lived in a whorehouse!
Wiz: *Sigh* he lived in a brothel with his mother, Tara Brooks, who worked a job of being a prostitute-
Boomstick: HAHAHA! His mother is a prostitute!
Wiz: *Angry Sigh* Tara was a prostitute. Lets go back in time a little. When Tara went into extreme labor, she was diagnosed by a doctor who turned out to be a vampire named Deacon Frost, who feasted on Tara. This killed her.
Boomstick: HAHA-oh wait. That's bad. However, this passed on certain enzymes that gave her child unusual perks. Such as increased lifespan, being able to sense supernatural creatures, and...actually that's it.
Wiz: Eric saved an old man from three vampires by stabbing them with a silver cane. The old man was a former vampire slayer and musician, and agreed to train Eric. After training and growth, he was able to kill young vampires with ease. He then earned the name Blade.
Boomstick: These victories made him a cocky little shit though, and he got his ass handed to him by bigger and stronger Vampires, creatures, and demons;particularly Dracula. Motherfucking Dracula. Dracula escaped, and Blade retired from Vampire slaying...until he located Dracula, trained more, got new weapons and defeated Dracula.
Wiz: Blade is a...special hero to say the least. He is half Vampire, yet has an extreme immunity to annoyances like Garlic, or lethal threats like sunlight. He is blessed with an arsenal of a silver katana sword, handguns, grenades,shurikens, and Vampire stopping objects, such as stakes. Blade has superhuman strength, speed, and stamina, and he is an amazing fighter. Unfortunately, Blade is still part Vampire, and needs blood to survive. Without it, he is weakened. He is cocky, and can be outsmarted.
Boonstick: Half Human. Half Vampire. All badass.
(Blade: When you understand the nature of a thing...you know what it's capable of.)
Buffy Summers[]
Wiz: A man named Hank and a woman named Joyce fell in love and had a daughter named Buffy.
Boomstick: Wait..AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HER ACTUAL NAME IS BUFFY?! SO IT ISN'T JUST A NICKNAME?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wiz: I-
Boomstick: Though I have to admit. It's hell of a better name than WIZARD!
Wiz: Shut up Boomstick! Anyway, Buffy lived a pretty normal and happy life. Until her cousin Celia grew sick and was murdered in her hospital bed by a demon named Dr. Kindestod; a demon that preyed on sick children. Buffy was then left with a fear of hospitals after that experience.
Boomstick: I have a fear of hospitals too.
Wiz: Why?
Boomstick: Their food tastes artificial as fuck. Anyway, when Buffy was about fifteen, she began attending Hemery Highschool, in which she became a popular cheerleader and prom queen. Too bad she also began having crazy ass dreams about women in different historical time periods slaying monsters. A man named Merrick Jamison-Smythe explained that she is "The Chosen One". I think I know where this is going.
Wiz: Buffy was destined to be a slayer. A slayer is a person made to slay demons, monsters, abd Vampires. Buffy, unlike other slayers, refused her slayer destiny.
Boomstick: WHAT?!
Wiz: Buffy eventually confronted a group of vampires at the school dance. At the price of defeating them, she also burned down the gym in the process, expelling her. Buffy then realized that she couldn't escape her slayer destiny. She then continued to defend her home and school from vampires to days to come.
Boomstick: Buffy was blessed with superhuman strength, speed, and stamina. She has shown the ability to lift tanks and punch extremely hard; she is Spider-Man level strength.
Wiz: She has also shown incredible speed feats. She outraced a bullet...while giving it a head start. She is a great fighter and has and has a decent arsenal. She regularly uses a scythe as her signature weapon, along with The Glove of Myhenog, which can shoot out lightning. She is also an owner of regular Vampire weapons. Like Stakes. Unfortunately, Buffy CAN die. Now before you bring up how she died twice and came back. She was revived. Plus, Buffy is not a great tactician, due to being a teenager without any effective experience.
Boomstick: But still. It's pretty goddamn hard to find a teenager who can fuck the guys, AND kill the monster.
(Buffy: If the apocalypse comes, beep me!)
Pre-Death Battle[]
(Cue Invader - Jim Johnston)
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
Death Battle[]
Location: Hemery High School
Time: Midnight
A man with shades and a black coat with a katana strapped to his back walked up to the front of Hemery High School. He examined the location carefully. This was the place. He casually prepped his Katana and walked up to the entrance, for Blade had tracked down a vampire...
Inside the school was dark and deserted. Closing hours. But two teenagers snuck through the halls. One was a blond girl with a tank top and a scythe strapped to her back. This was unmistakeably Buffy. She was with another teenager, a boy. This was Angel, AKA: A Vampire. I think you know where this is going...
Angel: So...what are we doing here?
Buffy: You said you wanted some alone time with me.
Angel: Yeah...but why here?
Buffy smirks.
Buffy: Well, this way it will-
BAM!
A door slides next to Buffy and Angel. Blade then walks out of the hole. He grits his teeth and pulls out his Katana.
Blade: Angel?
Angel: WHAT?!
Blade walks up to Angel with his Katana ready to strike. Buffy steps in front of him as Angel runs off into the hallways.
Blade: Step aside, kid.
Buffy: No! You won't hurt my boyfriend without a kick to the face, asshole!
Blade showed no signs of remorse.
Blade: I'm warning you kid. STEP...ASIDE.
Buffy pulls out her scythe.
Buffy: I think you know what happens next.
Blade prepares his Katana.
FIGHT!
Blade leaps over Buffy and kicks Buffy in the side. She ducks under another kick and uppercuts Blade. She unleashes a combo of punches and kicks, the last kick being parryed by Blade as he grabs her leg and swings her through a door into another room. Blade leaps through, grabs Buffy, and punches her incredibly hard in the stomach, temporarily incapacitating her.
Buffy: *Groans*
Blade: I warned you ki-
Buffy swings her head up, bashing Blade's face. Buffy turns around and side-kicks Blade into a wall. Blade jumps up and kicks Buffy hard through a wall. Buffy races back in and grabs Blade, before running through several walls, with Blade feeling the impact of each one.
Buffy throws Blade across the hallway, as he crashes into the wall.
Buffy: You done asshole?! Or do I have to kick your ass even more?!
Blade grunts as he recovers from the blow. He looked done. Buffy walked away to find Angel...until a shuriken whizzes by and slashes her leg.
Buffy: What...the fu-
Buffy is then met with a hard punch to the face, courtesy of Blade. Blade pulls out his Katana.
Blade: Ready for round 2?
Blade slashes at Buffy, who blocks the blow with her Scythe. Buffy and Blade engage in a sharp weapon duel. Constant swings and blocks, neither getting in a good shot. Blade kicks Buffy away and throws four shurikens. Blade deflects two of them and twist-flips over them. She connects this with a slash to Blade's chest. She takes out the Glove of Myhenog and shoots a beam of electricity at Blade, who dodges the constant blasts. He runs up and tears the glove from her grip and throws it aside. This gave Buffy a opening.
Buffy pins Blade against a wall and prepares a punch, but Blade prepares a grenade. It explodes, separating Buffy from Blade. Blade kicks Buffy out the window, but she grabbed Blade at the last second, so they both fell and hit the ground hard.
Buffy gets up first and picks up her scythe and chops off Blade's arm.
Blade: AAAAAAUUUGHHHHHH!
Buffy lifts her Scythe high above her head.
Buffy: Say hi to The Judge for me.
She brings it down hard. But to her surprise, the Scythe didn't hit anything. She looked diwn, and sees that Blade is holding the Scythe back with all his might. He pushes her off so hard that she goes flying a few feet back.
Blade springs up and shoots at her multiple times, some hitting Buffy. Buffy runs up and punches Blade three feet away. Blade's head is down. He bares his fangs, surprising Buffy.
Buffy: You're...a vampire. I got just the thing for that!
She pulls out a stake and jams it into Blade's heart. Blade collapses. Buffy walks over and pushes the stake deeper.
Buffy: Die...you son of a bi-
Blade sits up and snaps Buffy's neck, killing her instantly. Blade stands up and breathes heavily. Blade grasps his wound and looks at Buffy's corpse.
Blade: I...gave you a chance...to back down.
So, the mission wasn't a total failure. Sure he didn't kill his target, but he took out his lover, and now nothing would stand in his way now. Then again, he had taken out a slayer, and he did feel bad for that. But it was alright. The world would still be protected by true Vampire Slayer...Blade.
KO!
Results[]
Blade walks off into the distance, while horrified school students witness Buffy's corpse.
Wiz: Boomstick, what are you hiding from?
Boomstick: The Buffy Fans! They're gonna fucking murder us!
Wiz: Fine. Anyway, this was a closer battle than you think. Buffy has been able to hold her own in several vampire battles. But she has never fought a vampire like Blade.
Boomstick: Let's talk about strength. Buffy has shown amazing strength feats. She can lift fucking tanks like they're weights! But this can't really compare this to Blade lifting The Reaper. The Reaper ways a minimum of 40,000 tons! Way more impressive than anything Buffy has done...please don't kill us.
Wiz: Blade is also simply a deadlier fighter. Blade can kill a vampire in battle in less than a minute, while it takes a while for a vampire to go down when fighting Buffy. Plus, Blade has been able to easily take down a Vampire Spider-Man, which also trumps the feat in which Buffy has Spider-Man level strength, and fight reflexes.
Boomstick: We can throw these feats around all day, but one definite advantage Blade has over Buffy is that he is nothing like any Vampire she has EVER fought.
Wiz: Indeed. While most vampires go down instantly from a stake to the heart, Blade has been able to SURVIVE this. Blade was born to an immunity to Vampire killing devices like Th e Sun, Stakes, and Garlic. In the end, Buffy simply has no chance if beating Blade.
Boomstick: Looks like killing Buffy was, "a snap".
Wiz: The Winner is Blade.
Next Time on Death Battle[]
Boomstick: Next Time On Death Battle...
A sand tornado spins, until the spinner is revealed to be a mummy-like being. This being eventually stops spinning and holds a ball of energy before closing it into his hand.
???: You'll make a fine specimen...
VS
A being with glowing green eyes, wrapped in bandages absorbs many souls into his body, before landing onto the ground.
???: We are many. You are one.
KAN-RA VS ERMAC