Blade vs Alucard is an episode of SoMaShadow's Death Battles. It features Blade from Marvel Comics, and Alucard from the Hellsing series.
| Blade vs Alucard | |
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| Season | TBD |
| Season Episode | TBD |
| Air date | TBD |
| Written by | SoMaShadow |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous TBD |
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Description[]
Marvel vs Hellsing!
Interlude[]
Blade[]
Alucard[]
DEATH BATTLE![]
Conclusion[]
Original Track[]
Trivia[]
| Alucard vs Blade | |
|---|---|
[[File: | |
| Season 4, Episode 14 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | January 17th, 2016 |
| Written by | Ahomeschoolingroudon |
| Directed by | Ahomeschoolingroudon |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Pyron vs Unicron | Griffith vs Gilgamesh |
Note[]
This battle heavily references TeamFourStar's Hellsing Ultimate Abridged series and is mainly considered to be using that iteration of Alucard as opposed to the source material.
Description[]
It's a battle between Vampire and Vampire Slayer, will Alucard fall like the many before him? Or will Blade be free blood to the Carnivore otherwise known as, The CrimsonFuckr?
Interlude[]
Wiz: There are all types of hunters in fiction, ranging from Demon Hunters to Vampire Hunters, and this is no different. With the exception however being, they are both vampires themselves, and they give their trope a whole new meaning to the word.
Boomstick: Alucard, Hellsing's Trump Card.
Wiz: And Blade, the Daywalker.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!
Alucard[]
Wiz: ..is it clear?
Boomstick: Yes.
Wiz: Okay, good. Way back in the year 1431, the vampire named Vlad III Dracula, the son of Vlad II, later becoming what was then known as Vlad Ţepeş, more famously Vlad the Impaler. Vlad had practically terrorized those who witnessed him, as he was rumored to be the first vampire to have existed.
Boomstick: And in order to demonstrate his skills, I, guess? He decided to lead a war against the Turkish due to his childhood of torture and imprisonment, and even..molestation. Yeesh, prison flashbacks.
Wiz: To say the least, Alucard had all of his troops in the battle killed and many of his own people were killed, plus he himself was put to death row.
Boomstick: All seemed like it was going to crash down on him, until he managed to drink the spilled blood of his troops, as he began to embrace his dark powers. Ultimately shifting from Vlad the Impaler, to the even deadlier vampire, known as Alu-
Alucard pops up from the shadows
Alucard: THE FUCK MOTHERING VAMPIRE!-
Wiz: Boomstick! You said it was clear!
Boomstick: Like I could see through the-
Alucard: HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY-
Wiz: Ugh... later on he would be taken in to the Hellsing Mansion, becoming the guardian of the Hellsing family. But more importantly, being a vampire and demon hunter, who seems to be a part of everybody’s hit list means that he has plenty of abilities.
Boomstick: His strength is immense, able to tear through humans, vampires and even uranium with his bear hands. As well as speeds that are faster than the eye can track, able to cross long distances in seconds. And with his reflexes, estimated to be at mach speeds he can catch a bullet with his teeth, even magical bullets fired from Rip Van Winkle.
Wiz: But the most useful ability, is actually a combination of them. You see, as a vampire he has consumed countless souls just by sucking the victim’s blood, granting them both the memories and powers they possess. Which makes Alucard’s list of abilities, excessive.
Boomstick: Let me guess, it’s gonna be Reimu all over again.
Alucard: I’m not apologizing.
Boomstick: Fuuuck...
Wiz: Alucard can use intangibility to pass through solid objects, he can manipulate his own shadow as an extension of himself-
Alucard: Oh you are just a treat.
Boomstick: That wasn’t ev-hey! Jokes about sexual innuendos is my thing!
Wiz: Ahem, he can also regenerate from almost anything, with his regeneration considered greater than any other vampire’s. He has been blown to shreds, decapitated, turned into a pool of blood and stems all the way to being incinerated completely, and came back. With the more severe damage being reconstituted with him becoming a shadow-like substance.
Alucard: Yeah, you fun nazi. Funny enough, these schmucks kicked into my door and riddled me with bullets, but I came back just seconds after and I read their minds by drinking all of their bl-
Wiz: Alucard also has-
Alucard: Interrupt my story again Wizard! SEE WHAT HAPPENS!
Wiz: Can we just get through the analysis already... Anyway, Alucard also has the ability to shapeshift, teleport, cast illusions on the foe as a method of distraction, and he can use telepathy.
Alucard: Say it.
Wiz: ...no. And lastly he has hypnosis, despite the full capacity of this is unknown, and like telepathy this is hardly used in combat.
Boomstick: But what is used more often than not is the attributes that come with being a vampire, which in Alucard’s case is often having premonitions about the future, and can sense beings supernatural in nature. Plus, he has immunity to the weaknesses of most vampires.
Alucard: Like a real fuckin’ vampire.
Wiz: Alucard however is not all abilities however, he has plenty of weapons in his arsenal to go with it, such as generic swords and firearms, which includes a Thompson Sub-Machine Gun. But his signature firearms are a pair of high powered semi-automatic handguns.
Boomstick: The .454 Casull and the Jackal respectively, these two weapons-
Alucard: No, no. Stand back you cheeky dick waffle, I’m talking about my own arsenal here.
Boomstick: Guns are my specialty, so I’m covering this.
Alucard: I’m gonna go with nooo. The .454 Casull is the perfect gun for my take, and no schmuck humans can rob me of that shit, and the Jackall is able to shoot through walls and that catholic sociopath’s arm.
Wiz: But the most important ability that Alucard has to offer, is the Release States. Which otherwise can be referred to as the six levels of power restriction, with the lower the number, the greater levels of power Alucard can reach. And this is usually associated with articles of his clothing disappearing, such as his sunglasses or fedora-
Boomstick: Or the good ol’ fashioned literary device.
Wiz: Well, that too. Level one release state is mostly associated with wearing a black straightjacket, and his final form is covered in what seems to be eyes. And in addition, he mostly fights in hand-to-hand combat in this state, even if he can also use firearms, and he can let loose the Hellhound Baskerville for some, carnage. To say the least.
Boomstick: Which might as well be Alucard’s whole life, having killed armies all throughout it, and having survived for almost 600 years without getting killed. And he regularly kills lesser vampires without a second glance, and even kills beings greater than that of the regular vampire.
Wiz: Even more impressively, Alucard has managed to defeat Father Anderson, even when he had become a so-called “Monster of God.”
Boomstick: But like the rest of the vampires out there, he still has his faults, as his souls could become independent, and he prefers to toy with his opponents rather than kill them. Plus he may be mostly immune to vampire weaknesses, but he was originally much more resistant. But still, Alucard is still one of the deadliest yet best vampires in fictio-
BANG!
Boomstick: Wait, what in the fuck-
Alucard: Ugh... Before you start.
Boomstick: Did you just-
Alucard: Okay! Before. You. Start!
Boomstick: DID YOU JUST SHOOT THAT INTERN THAT BROUGHT ME THOSE FREE BEER BOTTLES!?
Alucard: Do you want an explanation for this?
Wiz: Err...
Boomstick: Yes! Especially because now we have to wait a whole 2 hours to get another intern. Who else is gonna pay off the $900 monthly payment!?
Alucard: He startled me!
Boomstick: Okay, that does it!
Boomstick loads up his shotgun
Alucard: Woops did I just accidentally a war?
Wiz: Hold on what the fu-
BANG! BANG! BANG!
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Alucard: Come on, get up! Attack me! You've only suffered the loss of your legs! Summon up your familiars! Transform your body! Heal your severed legs and stand! The evening is still so young. Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry! Pull yourself together - the fun has just begun! Come on! HURRY!
Blade[]
Wiz: What the hell, did I just. Never mind, at least we got our show back.
Boomstick: Welp, while we wait for another 2 hours for the next intern to ring by our doorstep, might as well cover the other combatant we have on the list.
Wiz: On the date October 24st, 1929, this would be the date where Eric Brooks would be born in a Soho Brothel located in Great Britain-
Boomstick: Alright Wiz, you can get the hell away now, this is my analysis to handle now.
Wiz: But-
Boomstick: I don’t give a fuck. Just hand me the damn notes.
Wiz: Fiiine. Just don’t screw this one up.
Boomstick: Ahem, Eric Brooks found himself to be the son of a prostitute who must’ve gotten a case of her customer being a Meister of Viagra. Her name was Tara Brooks, who was suffering labor complications that ended up requiring a doctor to get involved, until that doctor turned out to be a bloodthirsty vampire named Deacon Frost who feasted on Tar-what the fu-
Wiz: The end result ended up leaving Tara dead, but she managed to give birth to Eric at the last minute, which conveniently yet accidentally passed on certain enzymes in her own blood to the infant, which ended up turning Blade into the Dhampir type of vampire, one that has been touched by a vampire, but not completely converted.
Boomstick: This in turn granted Blade superhuman attributes, which he decided to put to good use later on in his life, where he would be trained the ways of Vampire Hunting by Jamal Afari, a vampire hunter himself.
Wiz: Blade managed to get olympic level athletic capabilities, and hand-to-hand combat skill on top of that, allowing him to beat many weaker vampires, ultimately becoming what he had trained to be, a Vampire Hunter. Who would only get better as time went on.
Boomstick: And more cocky.
Wiz: Standing at 6 feet 2 inches tall and weighing at 215 pounds, Blade’s Dhampir physique grants him superhuman strength, allowing him to lift 2000 pounds, kick straight through metal doors, and snap handcuffs made out of steel. And in addition, he has superhuman senses, which allows him to instantly sense a nearby demon, and smell those sneaking about.
Boomstick: And he’s faster than the eye can track, even able to best the hypersonic Spitfire. Plus he’s a bullet timer, which, well if you were to take a shot every time Blade would dodge gunfire in the comics you would be drunk as a skunk in the first 10 minutes
Wiz: Drunk as a skunk? I don’t see how-
Boomstick: It’s a fuckin’ metaphor, you of all people should know this.
Wiz: Right... And Blade is quite acrobatic, even making a shield agent think he is flying just by how far he can leap. Lastly, Blade’s durability is immense, as he is immune to possession and traditional vampire weaknesses, and he has survived getting impaled, shot point blank by The Punisher, an airplane crash landing and a point blank explosion followed up by a three story drop.
Boomstick: And this is followed with immense endurance and his healing factor, which allows him to keep fighting after his stomach had been slashed open, regenerates mild to moderate injuries quickly, severe slashes and puncture wounds would be healed after a few minutes would pass and toxins and infection would be unable to kill Blade.
Wiz: As for close range combat, Blade is a master martial artist who can adept to just about any fighting style used on him, and proficient in every martial art known to man. He’s also a multi-lingual intellect, expert vehicle driver with motorcycles and cars and with espionage he cannot be caught on camera.
Boomstick: Yeah, who gives a fuck about intellect or espionage when he has a complete arsenal of guns and swords!
Wiz: It’s still-
Boomstick: I don’t give a shit. He wields daggers carved out of Teakwood, Adamantium swords that is acid-etched, a Wordsword made out of paper from magical books which are effective against demons despite being, y’know, paper. Plus he has automatic and semi-automatic firearms with silver bullets filled with garlic. Because vampires are weak to garlic, for some damn reason.
Wiz: He also has body armor made out of Kevlar, throwing knives, shurikens, a candelabra and a variety of custom weapons that employ silver, garlic, sunlight, ultraviolet rays and anti-coagulants. Name any vampire weakness and Blade has access to it.
Boomstick: Hell, there’s a stake in his boot! No, seriously.
Wiz: But Blade’s main weapon is a double-edged titanium blade, similar to that of a longsword. While it does not have a name, it is still the most useful out of them all, there is no need to maintenance, and small retractable b lades are hidden within the hilt as a safety feature if anyone were to try and steal it for themselves.
Boomstick: Dammit I need that for my car, and not just for the raptors either.
Wiz: And with his arsenal, Blade is one of the best vampire hunters out there. He fought against the mercenary Deadpool, blitzed Whiteworm, took down 4 Doombots unarmed and even successfully theorized how to beat Shuma Gorath. You know, the Shuma Gorath.
Boomstick: And he managed to fight countless amounts of vampires, sometimes killing a whole room full of vampires without a scratch, proving that he’s a very experienced hunter.
Wiz: But experienced doesn’t always mean perfection, his Wordsword is practically useless in the rain and he is somewhat cocky as said above. Plus, while he isn’t entirely a vampire, he still needs to either consume blood or use a special serum assigned to him, as an extended period of time without it can prove fatal. And even then, if he doesn’t die from it he can still lose his self-control.
Boomstick: But it still takes someone with balls of steel to cause vampires to whisper his name like they do Dracula’s, as, let’s just say he’s named Blade for obvious reasons.
Blade: So, how many times do I have to put you in the ground?
DEATH BATTLE![]
Hellsing Manor, London
Night-Time
Confusion, that was all that could run through the vampire Alucard’s mind at that point. Just after his sidekick Seras Victoria, or as he referred to as Police Girl had finished up work with her most recent foe, a human of all things. They still had the holy figure descending from above in their minds, what did she even mean?
Both the Police Girl and Alucard were still confused as they began to approach the outskirts of the Hellsing Mansion, but they decided to just brush it off after a while, in their minds it was best not to overreact to everything, in this case, whatever they were reacting to in the first place. Alucard and Seras approached the doors to the Hellsing Manor after following the pathways, pushing it open.
“Ghhh..” Seras muttered under her breath, still trying to keep herself standing after constant fighting, let alone the fact that she did not feel like herself. Alucard heard footsteps off in the distance, as it seemed like the clip clopping of shoes, “Oh boy, here we go again.“ Alucard thought, as his suspicions were right as to who it was, as Sir Integra stepped into the scene, widening her eyes at Seras.
“HOLY SHIT!” Sir Integra shrieked at the sight of Seras, as her clothing was almost entirely splattered with blood, “You won’t believe the sight her blood rage was.” Alucard commented on Sir Integra’s shock, which quickly turned Sir Integra from terrified to furious, as Seras just remained just as muddled as earlier.
“What’s a blood rage? And why can’t I rememb-” Seras asked, until she was interrupted by Sir Integra practically seething. “Alucard.” Sir Integra replied, “I will have to force you to move to the basement, and leave it locked. You planned this.” Alucard raised his eyebrow, “What?” He asked, but Sir Integra was not gonna be as reasonable as he would hope.
“You planned this, I know you did!” Sir Integra snapped, which caused who she was referring to in question taking a step back, “Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine. Also, no I won’t go to the basement.” Alucard nagged, as he pulled out an ensemble of pound sterlings, “I was even bribed, imagine that.” Alucard added, which caused Sir Integra.
“ALUCARD YOU DIRTY, SLIMY--!” Sir Integra tried to shriek.
“Oop, tautology!” Alucard replied before he dashed out the door, quickly moving away from where the Hellsing Manor was, as all Sir Integra could do at that point was watch. She sighed, as Seras turned to her, “Seras, just think of this as that thirty year period of time, only shorter.” Integra replied, which Seras nodded in response, just watching over the mansion, knowing that Alucard would return, eventually.
Hotel located in London
Alucard casually stepped his foot into the hotel, entering the building with his two dual pistols being stuffed into his straight jacket, he ended up checking into the hotel. “Alright there we are, you are assigned a regular one-bedroom!” The hotel employee responded cheerfully, but Alucard however was less than cheerful to hear this.
“Hilarious! No, I want the penthouse.” Alucard replied, which caused the hotel employee to stop for a moment. “I’m sorry, but-” He tried to say, but Alucard ended up dashing up the stairs, going floor to floor, which caused the hotel employee to rush to the phone. “This is Bishounen O’Brian, get the security!” He exclaimed, as Alucard opened the Penthouse. “W-wha!?” The civilian in the Penthouse shrieked as he entered.
“CH-CH-CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!” Alucard exclaimed as he swung his right arm forward at the civilian, socking him directly in the face and effectively knocking him out cold, as he literally kicked him out of the Penthouse along with his luggage, keeping it all to himself. “Now that I’m all by myself, I can finally kick back and reeeela-”
Alucard found himself interrupted by security bursting out the door of the stairway up to where the Penthouse was located, as they had batons with them. The members of the security put their batons up furiously at Alucard, as the Crimson Fucker did nothing but simply crossed his arms, remarking “You are truly scraping the bottom of the barrel.”
Alucard pulled out his .454 Casull Auto and Jackall pistols, opening fire at all of the security in his way, causing blood to splatter all over the Penthouse, as residents staying at the hotel heard the gunshots, as they all began to quickly rush out of their hotel rooms to their cars, fleeing the scene as quickly as they could. However there was one single person who was actually driving towards the scene by car.
He parked it at the driveway, trying not to run over anybody as he tried to do so, stepping out of the car, getting out all of his weaponry that he had brought along with him from the backseat. This guy had black hair, and was wearing a black leather jacket, jeans, boots and all topped off with a pair of sunglasses covering his eyes. He was none other than the vampire hunter nicknamed the Daywalker himself, Blade.
Trying not to waste any precious time, he ended up passing by the immense amount of traffic that was taking place from the panicked civilians in the parking lot, as he ended up leaping up in an attempt to make it up to the Penthouse, despite only managing to get through the window of one of the rooms located in the third floor.
But this would have done the job anyway, as Alucard sensed his supernatural presence, as he grinned. “Looks like we have another show starter.” Alucard thought as he reloaded his .454 Casull and Jackall, dashing through the stairs, this time travelling downward rather than upward, before opening the door to the third floor, where Blade was waiting in the first place.
“So this was the vampire? I ain’t gonna have trouble with some Ozzy Osbourne bastard.” Blade scoffed, as he drew one of his Adamantium acid-etched swords he had at his disposal, “Excuse me but I’m a fuck mothering vampire, I deserve to be called such!” Alucard replied, as he took aim with his .454 Casull and Jackall, “Now..” Alucard muttered.
“HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT!”
FIGHT!
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llTBeCvvKkk)
Blade made a break for it at Alucard without second thoughts or even a plan to go along with it, as he tilted his Adamantium acid-etched sword he was wielding slightly to the left in his hands. “It’s like that catholic sociopath“ Alucard thought, as he adjusted his aim with the .454 Casull, taking the first shot.
The Daywalker casually managed to flip over the bullet shot at him, as he swung his blade at the front of Alucard’s neck, causing the Crimson Fucker to tilt his head back to prevent getting struck, as Alucard swung his left arm forward at Blade, striking him straight in the face. “Whoop!” Alucard cheered as he launched Blade backwards a few meters, causing him to bang his head against one of the doors to a hotel room.
Blade pushed himself back to his feet, nowhere close to being finished off with their fight. Blade once again began charging towards his foe, this time with a strategy in mind as he kept his Adamantium blade in his hands, “Oh?” Alucard wondered, as his foe made a stabbing motion with the sword.
Alucard however just once again decided to back himself out of the way, “So, nice blade you got there. You must be part of the Nazis, and Jim Gaffigan!” Alucard muttered, as he continued backing up, but Blade, who was starting to get ticked off, put his foot down and performed a downward swing at the front of Alucard’s arm, the one wielding the .454 Casull.
SWISH!
“No, there’s worse things out tonight than nazis, Alucard. Like me.” Blade remarked, as Alucard’s right arm was ripped straight off of him, dropping down to the floor with a squirt of blood covering the portion of the floor it landed on.
Alucard however just smirked instead of gaining a surprised or agonizing reaction like Blade was expecting, as in a matter of seconds his arm managed to make a swift full recovery, as Alucard grasped his .454 Casull once more. “Fingers crossed!” Alucard remarked as he began repeatedly shooting at Blade as he began dashing towards him, as his pistol was automatic.
Blade ended up going in the same direction, as he managed to keep up with the ultimate vampire’s movements, however if anybody else were to be spectating this fight they would be unable to track them as they went, as both of them tried to attack each other once again, with Blade making a swing with his Adamantium blade and Alucard shooting at his foe with his .454 Casull.
Both of them ended up missing each other again, as Blade used that as a distraction to sneak up behind Alucard as he grappled him by the shirt, before keeping him still with his grip, as Blade jumped backwards onto the floor, slamming Alucard against it with a suplex.
“You suplexed me, as if I was Seth Rollins!” Alucard jeered as Blade managed to get back up on his feet in no time, “Suck it up and fight.” Was Blade’s remark, now starting to get impatient with his foe.
Alucard just decided to obey anyways, as he jumped back up from laying on the ground, Blade dashed back towards the Crimson Fucker just mere moments after, as he followed up with another swing of his blade, as Alucard just continued to keep evading like he had been doing before, “Missed me, whoop!” Alucard called out as he did so.
“You do know that eventually your head is gonna pop off-” Blade attempted to taunt, but he quickly learned that Alucard did not care so much for taunting unless his foe proved that he was worthy of doing so, as he made a kick at Blade’s groin while he remained wide open for an attack.
Blade began to skid back on the ground, making it screech as he did so, but he still managed to keep his cool before punching Alucard to make him flinch for a split-second as he lashed out at him, successfully striking Alucard with the Adamantium blade, cutting his chest open with the acid making the blood that poured out literally steaming.
Blade twirled his Adamantium blade in his hand while Alucard fell down to his knees at that point, “Ugh, not used to seeing this much of my blood before...” Alucard muttered, as Blade winded up his swing, “That shall be your last words, motherfucker.” Blade remarked, as he swung forward at Alucard’s neck.
♪DECAPITATIOOON!♪
Alucard’s expressionless head tumbled off of his body, landing down to the floor with it still spraying blood, as Blade sheathed his Adamantium acid-etched sword to his back. “Dumbass, give your little vampire buddies a message from me. Tell them all that it’s open season on all suckheads, especially to Frost.” Blade remarked, as he was about to walk away.
“It’ll pass.” A voice in the apartment replied, which sounded exactly like Alucard. Blade figured this could not be true, could it?
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAPUpXOUTSs)
True enough, Alucard emerged right in front of the estonished Blade, this time he looked like he was a shadow substance, before he began to quickly reconstitute himself back to the way he was, regaining his .454 Casull and Jackall. “How in the hell--?” Blade questioned, now getting his guard back up.
“Fuck you that’s how!” Alucard wittingly taunted, as Blade felt like he had no time to unsheathe his adamantium acid-etched blade, so he decided to pull out one of his machine guns, getting the SA80. “No more safety switch.” Blade remarked, as he did just that, turning off the safety switch before opening fire. Alucard however always has his safety switch off, so there was no need for him to wait.
Alucard and Blade continued to dash through the halls of the third floor, constantly shooting at each other without thinking ahead first, as they were moving too fast for any of the bullets to even hit them in the first place, until Blade shot slightly forward in an attempt for Alucard to walk straight into it’s line of fire.
Alucard did just that, but not in the way that the Daywalker expected it to turn out, as he managed to catch the bullet in his teeth before crushing it with a chomp. Blade and Alucard then began to stand still for a moment, as Alucard ended up getting out one of his firearms hidden deep within his straight jacket, a Thompson Sub-Machine Gun.
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!
The two ruthless vampires opened fire at each other, bullets completely showering where they were standing, and with each and every bullet getting countered by the other, until both of them heard clicking coming from their firearms, indicating that they had run out of ammunition in the magazines.
Alucard did not think of bringing an extra magazine for that weapon, as Blade decided to up the offense, getting out a magazine filled with what seemed to be silver bullets with a secret ingredient added within them, one of the weaknesses of vampires, garlic.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Blade went back to opening fire at Alucard once he managed to attach the magazine to his SA80, “Oh boy!” Alucard blurted before he found himself face to face with the onslaught of silver, garlic-filled bullets.
The silver bullets began to tear open Alucard’s skin and clothing into a plethora of bullet holes, with even more blood filling the scene, as it almost seemed as if the Crimson Fucker would find himself painting the entirety of the third floor with his own blood, but after the repeated piercing, Alucard managed to regenerate from it with his blood getting restored.
“Say, who the hell do you think you are anyway?” Alucard asked after he adjusted his clothing, and having armed himself back with his trusty .454 Casull and Jackal. “The name’s Blade, most call me Daywalker.” Blade replied, before he set his SA80 aside, and he instead got out one of his custom firearms. Alucard grinned, as he decided now would be the time to use the Jackall, aiming at Brooks.
BANG!
Alucard shot one of his thirteen millimeter bullets at Blade, which caused him to tilt his position back to avoid the shot, “Your dodging still won’t keep yourself up, I’ll hit you so hard you’ll feel like Britney Spears.” Alucard taunted, before shooting at Blade three separate times.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
“No, ya, won’t!” Blade replied, saying each word one at a time as he dodged all three bullets, before managing to shoot Alucard point-blank with a silver bullet filled with anti-violet rays, before Eric Brooks kicked his foe through one of the doors to the hotel room, causing both the door and the Crimson Fucker to topple down to the ground.
Alucard just kept on pressing forward despite all of the times he had been ambushed ever since the fight had started, as this time he felt that it was his turn. Alucard managed to grapple Blade by the neck and tossing him against the wall that was encasing the door that broke down, before Alucard shot another thirteen millimeter bullet at Brooks from the Jackall.
BANG!!
“Argh!” Blade grunted, as the bullet managed to pierce through both his upper chest, a small part of his kevlar armor and the wall itself, as Blade decided to just keep on fighting as he would begin to heal. “That’s for the god awful smell that’s coming from you.” Alucard chortled, which caused Blade to just scoff, “It’s garlic. I know from experience you vampires don’t like it.” He replied.
“I am not one of those ‘vampires’, I’m a fuck mothering vampire, I deser-” Alucard tried to insist, but Blade decided not to even bother with that rambling again, as he drew out what seemed to be one of his daggers that was made out of wood, but not just any type of wood, this was teakwood. (Wood joke, I guarantee it)
“I SAID...” Alucard shrieked, this time getting louder as he began to point his finger at Blade’s face, mostly at his eyes in an attempt to pull off a mind trick, otherwise known as Hypnosis. “You are going to call me the ‘Fuck Mothering Vampire’ because I deserve to be called such.” Alucard commanded.
“Sorry buddy, not gonna work.” Blade replied, completely unaffected by the hypnosis due to his Dhampir state, prior to swinging his Teakwood Dagger relentlessly at Alucard, as they ended up sprinting out of the room as they continued their classic attack in the hallway routine.
Alucard decided to play along this time, as he took out a pair of his own swords this time around, “Bite me!” Alucard exclaimed, as the two of them entered their swordsman-like positions, as they swung at each other rapidly. Blade quickly realized that his Teakwood Daggers were not up to snuff for this, as he got out a pair of his Adamantium acid-etched swords.
CLANG!
The two hunters had swung forward at each other, with their blades locked against each other, making a very loud ‘SCREECH’ sound that blared through the third floor. Alucard and Blade muscled with each other in an attempt to get the upper hand, but it turned out that one of their designs was just overall better.
That would turn out to be Blade’s, as Alucard’s swords seemed to get affected by the acid that was etched onto Eric Brooks’ blades, with them eating away at the Crimson Fucker’s swords until they were too weak to stay in the lock, snapping apart once they became that weak.
“You must be out of your damn mind if you thought that this would work out in your favor, why else am I called Blade?” Brooks mused, before he hurdled up so his boot was up to Alucard’s face, drop kicking him right then and there. Alucard still managed to shrug it off despite all of the beatings, as he attempted to rip through Blade this time around, trying to use his bare hands.
Blade grabbed the Crimson Fucker’s arms as he tried to keep them still with one hand, with Alucard fussing about to get his hands free. Blade got out an already lit Candelabra to be used as a weapon, as he managed to use the strength he had to force Alucard against the ground, following this up with ramming the Candelabra through Alucard’s chest.
“Ow!” Alucard called out, despite Blade not knowing whether he was serious or just toying with him, but what was for sure the truth is that Blade had no idea how flammable the hotel truly was, as the fire that was created by the Candelabra quickly managed to spread, “Look at you go, genius.” Alucard grumbled, before forcing himself back up.
“Hey, was just getting a little tired of choppin’ you up.” Blade replied, as they continued their fighting and running strategy through the halls, remaining blissfully unaware of what was about to await them. As the fire quickly reached the source of fuel within the hotel.
Once Alucard and Blade were just about to swing their fists at each other’s faces, the source of fuel ended up igniting, and within seconds it ended up causing a chain reaction that would prove to be a very bad mistake...
Outskirts of the London hotel
The english authorities finally arrived to the scene, expecting this to be some sort of shooting going on within the hotel, as they hoped to not find any causalities, but once they managed to step out of their cars, they would see more than that.
BOOM!
An explosion engulfed the third floor, before managing to take it’s toll to the surrounding floors of the hotel, as the building barely managed to stay standing at that point. Alucard and Blade were caught point-blank by the explosion, but they managed to withstand it as they were launched out of the obliterated windows.
Alucard and Blade were both cut by various glass shards as they were launched out of the hotel, but Blade managed to inch himself up to Alucard as they continued to ascend by adjusting himself in the air, as he held Alucard down with his boots, before they were just seconds away from impacting the ground.
CRASH!
A crater formed underneath both of them once they impacted the ground, but both of them just kept remaining alive as if they were vampiric punching bags, “Now, who’s your handler?” Blade asked, as he began to painfully clutch Alucard’s neck, seemingly choking him without mercy. “Y-you mean, that bitc-” Alucard attempted to say, before he found himself cut off...
...by a cell phone’s ringtone blaring a song by Meredith Brooks? “Shit, I gotta take this.” Alucard thought, as he attempted to grab his phone despite his neck being in the merciless hands of Blade, but Eric Brooks decided to snatch Alucard’s cell phone anyway, “I’ll take that.” Blade insisted as he answered the call.
It was Sir Integra on the other line, who was understandably pissed after watching the news.
“Alucard! This is Sir Integra, Hellsing Organization, now what the hell did you do!?” Sir Integra shouted into the phone, as Blade smirked at the information he had received before moving the cell phone away from his ear, “It’s for you.” Blade commented before handing Alucard his phone, which he grabbed and put up to his ear.
“Sup bi-” Alucard attempted to say, but he was cut off by Brooks kneeing him right in the groin, causing the cell phone to descend down to the ground, causing a crack to appear in the screen.
“You cheeky dick waffle! The last thing I want to do is contact AT&T about this!” Alucard scolded, but Blade just ignored his complaining, as he was just, amused. “Hellsing, huh? Sounds like rejects from a Saturday morning cartoon.” Blade mused, “Really?” Alucard asked, “Really.” Blade replied.
“Reeeally?” Alucard asked once more, this time in a more annoying way, which caused Blade to roll his eyes, “Really.” Blade replied, which caused Alucard to seemingly get excited, “Really!?” Alucard asked in an excited manner instead of a joking one, “Really!!” Blade snapped.
“Release restraint, level one.” Alucard blurted a mere second after Blade snapped.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZqCX7WzLC4)
Blade felt a gigantic pain in his stomach immediately after, as he saw that an even bigger hole had been shot through his stomach, “Damn it, the hell!” Blade called out, before turning back to his foe Alucard. He was now in a black leather coat without the sleeves, with his sunglasses and fedora nowhere to be found.
“Then it looks like now is the time to get serious after all.” Blade murmured, as he drew out his Wordsword, bunches of paper ripped from magical books that had been formed into a sword. Blade then began to barbarically chase down the monstrous horror that was the level 1 Alucard.
SWISH!
Blade swung at the beast with his Wordsword, having aimed for his neck in particular, but once he tried he had completely vanished. “HEY DAYDICKER!” Alucard shouted from a very long distance, which caused Blade to begin sprinting to where he heard his foe, thinking to himself that no vampire could ever move that quick.
And he was, semi-right, as Alucard had teleported to the outer wall of one of the buildings in London, despite many of the members in the London police force starting to gang up on the two of them. “You missed! WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP!” Alucard shouted as he began running up the wall, completely confusing Blade at first.
But he would not remain confused for very long, as Alucard quickly shot back down towards Blade, as he was trying to finish the job at that point. Eric Brooks wanted to do the same, as he tried swinging his Wordsword once Alucard managed to make it within reach, this time making a successful hit.
But while the Wordsword managed to tear through the black leather straight jacket, and Alucard’s skin, it did not do much good in the long run, as Alucard would just keep regenerating. “So the movies are true.” Blade admitted, “Actually, they barely scratch the surface.” Alucard mused in response, before landing a direct punch at Blade’s chest, causing more damage to his kevlar armor.
But as a form of continuing to toy with Blade, he began shooting at him with his .454 Casull, yet purposely missing so that way it would end up blazing through the air and instead striking a few of the surrounding officers, killing them upon impact.
“This is your last warning, kiss the ground, hands on your heads!” The London police force shouted in an attempt to reason with the two vampires, but they just blocked it out, focusing on nothing but trying to kill one another off. As this ended up sparking the police to begin shooting at both vampires, which ticked off Blade.
“Aw hell, what the fuck is wrong with y’all!? You think this is a joke? You think this is a fucking sitcom!?” Blade shouted out, before Alucard and Blade began dashing through the streets of London, with Alucard surrounding himself with shadows of the physical form, which negated the threat of the bullets.
They ended up getting out of the police force’s sight, causing them to get to their cars in hopes of being able to chase after them. “Now, show me your hand Daywalker!” Alucard commanded as he grabbed a hold of the Wordsword, stopping it while Blade was attempting to swing it at him. “Motherfucker-” Blade tried to say.
Unfortunately, no reaction could suit Blade for what he saw, as Alucard managed to bend the Wordsword into a complete mess, at that point it was practically unusable. This ended up causing Blade’s brain to begin panicking, which Alucard was able to sense due to his telepathic abilities. “Now why don’t you go take a time out over here.” Alucard commanded in a joking manner, before he grabbed Blade by the head.
Blade’s Mind
All Blade could see in front of him at that point, was just his mother laying beside him, Tara Brooks. “E-Eric, is that you...?” Tara croaked, with her being in critical condition after her encounter with the vampire disguised as a doctor, Deacon Frost.
Blade began to walk up towards his dying mother, who seemed to have been coughing out of control, “H-honey, come back to me...” Tara pleaded, which seemed to have touched a soft spot within Blade, as he seemed to have lost his bloodshed in that very moment, as Blade inched closer.
“N-now give me a hug... I’m sorry that this had to happen, for the both of us.” Tara bawled, as Blade ended up pulling her close for a hug, with his head moving up to her right ear, seeming as if he was trying to whisper something.
“I must release you...”
SHKK!
“AAAAGH!” Tara’s mother cried out, having been stabbed by both of Blade’s Teakwood Daggers at the same time, as Blade had figured out that this was an illusion at the very last minute, not just his life flashing before his eyes. His thoughts on the matter would prove to be correct, as the illusion began to fade after the stabbing.
Alleyway
Blade was now back in reality, and he, was, pissed. “Now I’ll let you unholy creature taste the wrath of my trump card.” Blade snapped, now starting to lose his self control at that point, as he drew a double-edged longsword composed of titanium, which was Blade’s signature weapon.
Eric Brooks began to swing at the monster that saw right before his eyes, he knew that he could not lose now, he just would not allow that to happen. Alucard swerved to the side with each swing, as Blade this time swung his titanium longsword towards the side, as he managed to slice the Crimson Fucker this time around.
SWISH!
Blood began to pour out of Alucard once again, but the fuck mothering vampire managed to stay standing just long enough to make a downward jab at Blade’s right arm, causing it to burst open with blood splattering everywhere. “You hammered shit.” Blade muttered as his titanium longsword was no longer in his grasp, due to him wielding it with his right arm.
Alucard decided it would be best to end off his foe with his own trump card, as he grabbed Blade’s titanium longsword by the hilt, which would prove to be a mistake. Small blades retracted from the hilt, as the safety feature had been activated accidentally, causing Alucard to grunt in agony and drop the longsword, as Blade took a dive for it, snatching the longsword before it hit the ground.
Blade used this as an his opportunity, as he directly punted Alucard right in the chest, where he let the stake on his boot do the job, as it stabbed straight through Alucard’s chest, before pulling his foot back and following it up, with a swing from his titanium longsword directly forward while Alucard was still gasping in pain.
SHKK!!
Alucard was visibly impaled by the longsword, which clearly angered Alucard to the point where he was not even gonna bother with joking around anymore. He followed up the impaling with a punch to Blade’s face, before tossing him against the very back of the alley, leaving the vampire hunter cornered.
Alucard slowly began to step towards Blade, as he was now equally pissed as Blade was, but Alucard decided to channel this anger into his own trump card, “Shame for you, Daywalker, now you have activated MY ALU-CARD!!” Alucard shrieked, as he shifted from the least restrained form he had, release restraint 0.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtCnJ8zL2YI)
All Blade could do now was watch, as he was attempting to stagger back on his feet while Alucard began to change form, with his eyes glowing bright red, glowing within the night sky that had filled London, with a large quantity of eyes appearing on him. Just seconds after Blade managed to scramble to his feet, a cloud of smoke filled the alley.
Blade gritted his teeth as he attempted to search for wherever Alucard had wandered off to, he was attempting to locate him using his scent. “You can’t hide from me, bastard.” Blade murmured, as he sheathed his titanium longsword, and got out a shuriken.
Eric Brooks managed to track a hint of scent coming from the large cloud of smoke, as he tossed the shuriken at where he thought it was, but the only noise he could hear afterwards was a clang, as if it just hit the wall. Blade could only throw his shurikens one at a time due to his severed limb, as he got out another one.
He tried tossing a shuriken again, but it was just the same results as the first, as now Blade was starting to get furious. “WHERE ARE YOU!?” Blade shouted, as he was just about to blindly run through the smoke infested alley, but he was answered shortly by Alucard appearing from within the back of the alley, literally inside the wall.
Eric Brooks could not believe this sight, the fact that Alucard had managed to walk straight through walls with his intangibility, but there was not much time to be had left, as Blade tossed the last of his shurikens at Alucard. The Crimson Fucker just grinned, as his hand began to see a shift into a hellhound, not just any hellhound however, it was one of Alucard’s familiars, Baskerville, a black dog with multiple red eyes and a fang filled mouth.
Baskerville effortlessly chomped at the shurikens heading towards both him and Alucard, shattering them to pieces that harmlessly fell down to the ground. “What’s wrong, “Daywalker”!? Just grow back your legs and hit me!” Alucard taunted, as Blade tried to push himself back to his feet with one arm, but he had practically used up all of his strength by that point, as he fell flat on the ground.
“Come on already! Hurry your slow ass up and hit me! BITE ME! GIVE ME A HUG!!” Alucard shouted as he began to lose his patience, “I promise you, you’ll be dead by dawn..” Blade insisted, but it was not worth arguing at that point, as he fell back down on his face.
Alucard launched Baskerville towards Blade, who was completely unable to fight back and defend himself in the end, let alone stand up. Baskerville painfully grabbed Blade with his mouth, biting on his chest and shattering his kevlar armor, now causing blood to ooze from the Daywalker, as Baskerville pulled him towards the Crimson Fucker.
“You lost. And now I have to read your mind, by drinking all of your blood.” Alucard stated, as his teeth began to show at that point. “OM NOM NOM NOM!!” Alucard shrieked before biting at Blade’s head, killing him instantly and draining him of his blood. As his soul was then added to all of the others that he had with him.
K.O!
After a few seconds had passed, and the memories that Blade had flashed before Alucard’s eyes, he was disappointed to see that there was no memories of nazis in the first place, as he ended up just walking away from the alley, “Well that was disappointing, might as well had him be dog shit.” Alucard murmured, as he turned to his cell phone after a few minutes of walking.
He grabbed the cell phone off of the ground, as he tried to turn it on, which successfully worked much to his surprise. It still had a cracked screen, but he decided to just work with it anyway, as he was at the menu screen. “Have to tweet about this.” Alucard muttered, before he accessed the phone’s browser.
A few moments later after posting it, Sir Integra ended up having discovered the tweet, reading ‘Killed a vampire shmuck who wasn’t a fun nazi #fuckmotheringvampire’ which made her understandably pissed. Alucard received a phone call from her again, which caused him to groan, but he picked it up anyway. “Y’ello?” Alucard asked.
“What, did you do?” Was Sir Integra’s question, as Alucard ended up rolling his eyes, “Alright. But you can’t be mad at me.” Alucard replied. “What, did you do?” Sir Integra repeated, internally seething.
“So I was chillaxing in my room like a baller, and then the security bursted in because I was trespassing in the Penthouse. And after the usual song and dance went, this vampire, who wasn’t even a nazi by the way showed up, and I accidentally killed some police officers before finally killing the vamp-”
Alucard was quickly interrupted by Sir Integra shrieking on the top of her lungs, “BULLSHIT!” Alucard knew that this was just gonna be another argument over the phone by that point, “I said it was an accident-” Alucard tried to reply, but Sir Integra just did not believe him by that point.
“Just get to the Hellsing Manor, right, now.” Sir Integra commanded, this time with her being dead serious. “Yes ‘mom’!” Alucard replied in a sarcastic manner before hanging up, as he put the phone back in his straight jacket. Alucard took one last look at the hotel he was at, which had now collapsed at that point, before he started to head back to the Hellsing Manor like he was instructed.
What awaited Alucard was not gonna be pleasant.
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: That was, quite the brutality.
Wiz: Alucard and Blade at the start were pretty neck and neck, with Alucard having the superior raw strength and healing abilities, while Blade was faster, a better tactician, more agile and immune to his hypnosis.
Boomstick: And as for arsenal, while Alucard had the superior firearms, they both can avoid bullets with relative ease, which ultimately made this fight more close-ranged.
Wiz: Blade had the superior swordsmanship, sure. But with Alucard’s raw power, once he managed to lower his restriction he would quickly overpower Blade, as well as his arsenal. And while yes, Blade has weapons useful against vampires, that ultimately proved useless due to Alucard’s immunity to said weapons.
Boomstick: And sadly, Blade just had no way to put the Crimson Fucker down for good. While he would manage to wound him, his healing factor honestly made that nothing more than an irritation.
Wiz: Combine all that with Alucard having the experience advantage, even fighting against Alexander Anderson, a foe similar to Blade, and ultimately all Eric Brooks could do was delay the inevitable.
Boomstick: Blade just had no idea what he was putting his teeth into. Now I’ll just be waiting for that new intern, should be here any minute now...
Wiz: The winner is, Alucard.