Black Hat vs The Warden

1st Place for 'Best 'Cartoon' themed Death Battle'

Black Hat vs The Warden is a What-If? Death Battle written by RandomDudeWhoDoesStuff, featuring Black Hat from Villainous and The Warden from Superjail!.

Description[]

Villainous vs Superjail! Two mind-bending madmen and intimidating leaders from opposing sides of the law go head to head in this What-If episode of DEATH BATTLE! Will Black Hat prove his evil self to be superior, or will The Warden assimilate another unruly criminal?

Interlude[]

Wiz: There are multiple motives that could make out a villain. Perhaps they're hellbound on revenge, maybe they're butthurt about losing a contest years ago, or maybe, in some cases, they're evil for the hell of it. No tragic cause, just pure passion for their villainy.

Boomstick: And nobody embodies the latter quite like Black Hat, founder of the Black Hat Organization and the self-proclaimed most evil villain there is.

Wiz: With fiends like him terrorising the public, you'll need someone equally as powerful to take care of them, for any normal old officer would get vaporised in an instant. Who could that someone be?

Boomstick: That someone is The Warden, the energetic and pretty much insane, well, warden of Superjail, the world's largest maximum security prison.

Wiz: When the two opposing sides of Good and Evil, or more like "Good" and Evil, clash together, which will come out on top?

Boomstick: Safe to say that if this escalates a bit too much, we're all pretty much done for. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

Black Hat destroys all the goody-goody two-shoes in DEATH BATTLE![]

Wiz: It's common knowledge that, if a villain wants to go around on good-hating shenanigans and make themselves a serious threat to the public, they're gonna need a good arsenal. In most cases, said arsenal has to be either assembled or even created by oneself.

Boomstick: Lucky for the bad guys of Cartoon Network, they get their various gadgets and weapons sold to them by the Black Hat Organization, which is run by the organization's namesake, Black Hat, also sometimes referred to as the leader of all villains, but we'll get to that later.

Wiz: For now, let's focus on the past of our combatant, which we... don't really know a lot of. What we do know is that Black Hat has been around for a long time. Like, a really long time. And while we can't directly determine his age...

Boomstick: ... we can safely say that he was around for the destruction of Pompeii, which, bare with me here, he is said to have caused. Yep, this old guy in a trenchcoat caused a volcanic eruption that destroyed an entire city.

Wiz: We're getting a bit ahead of ourselves, Boomstick. Anyways, if we count the number of years between the Pompeii disaster and the modern day, we can see that Black Hat is, at least, 1.945 years old.

Boomstick: God, that back pain must be insufferable.

Wiz: Given that unreasonably high age, one wouldn't be surprised upon learning that Black Hat is a retired villain, yet that doesn't stop him from making heroes all across the world a little more dead.

Boomstick: Together with Dr. Flug, Demencia and 505, he creates innovative weaponry for sinister activites and sells them to various villains with the guarantee that they'll defeat the good guys in no time. Spoiler Alert, most of them fail. Badly.

Wiz: Yeah, as most of us have come to expect, most of the villains ultimately fail at defeating the heroes, even with the Black Hat Organization's help. Is it the weapon's fault, or are the wielders too imcompetent to handle them properly?

Boomstick: Welp, I'd say we go and find out, shall we?

Wiz: Sure, let's take a look at-

(Suddenly, Boomstick pulls out a gun.)

Wiz: Woah! Boomstick, why do you just have a gun here?!

Boomstick: Not just any gun, Wiz, this is the Speech-Changer, straight from the Black Hat Organization.

Wiz: Wait, what? How did you get a hold of that? You're not even a villain!

Boomstick: I sure sound like one, and that's all that matters when ordering over a phone. Hey, DUMMI, come here for a second.

(DUMMI, albeit reluctantly, floats to them)

DUMMI: Hello, mister Boomstick. How may I be exploited today?

Boomstick: Stay still for a second.

(Boomstick shoots DUMMI with no visible effect)

Wiz: ...is something supposed to happen, or...

Boomstick: Aw, dangit! They sent me a malfunctioning product, didn't they?

DUMMI: Ich bin mir nicht sicher, welchen Effekt dies auf mich hätte haben sollen.

Wiz: Wait, what?

Boomstick: Ooh, so that's why it's called a Speech-Changer. Don't really know what I expected.

DUMMI: Da Sie das bekommen haben, was sie wollten, könnten sie meine Sprache zurück auf Englisch stellen?

Boomstick: We'll do that later, DUMMI. We have an analysis to get to.

DUMMI: Aber-

(Boomstick crudely pushes DUMMI off the set)

Boomstick: Patience is key, DUMMI. Alright, where were we?

Wiz: Oh, yeah, let's get back to Black Hat, shall we? Even though he's in retirement, he still has some incredibly powerful abilities up his sleeve, one of which is shapeshifting.

Boomstick: Black Hat can not only grow himself in size, but he can also grow new features or entirely new bodies on a whim, from merely adapting a more intimidating appearance to turning into a giant terrifying snake-like creature.

Wiz: But he doesn't even need to turn into an eldritch horror to make people afraid of him. It is said that being in his area alone can cause fear and an urge to surrender oneself to him. No wonder he's called the Leader Of All Villains.

Boomstick: There's also some other smaller abilities he has at his disposal. For example, he can generate fire from literally nothing, as shown when he destroyed Dr. Flug's miniature toy plane in seconds. It also usually appears once he reaches a high level of pure rage.

Wiz: One ability shown off often is his Technology Manipulation. He has been shown to be able to hijack multiple TV stations, or make electronic devices malfunction. Though, this specific power gets a bit more extreme.

Boomstick: On multiple occasions, Black Hat was able to make living beings either faze out of or into the screens of such devices, like when he forced a paparazzi into a phone screen. Judging from the little we see of it, it couldn't have been pleasant.

Wiz: Sure sounds more pleasant than being burned alive on a kids show, which is exactly what Black Hat caused to happen during a broadcast of Weewee-nies.

Boomstick: They kinda had it coming with that lame a name. Though, something to note about this event is that said broadcast was a pre-recorded episode.

Wiz: Even though the events in the episode already happened at an earlier point, Black Hat somehow managed to twist those events to his liking.

Boomstick: This is what we in the business call reality warping.

Pop-Up: It is unknown if Black Hat simply manipulated the episode or the real life making of such. While both are possible, the former will be assumed as true here for fairness.

Wiz: This isn't the only instance of reality warping he's shown to be capable of. He can transform ice cream into sentient beings and fuse entities together, like the time he created a pretty messed up minotaur in a painful looking transformation.

Boomstick: Geez, Black Hat sure knows how to make a gnarly sight. No wonder he's the most evil villain there is... according to himself, that is.

Wiz: There's still quite a lot of powers we need to cover, like his Telekinesis, Portal Creation, Teleportation, Immortality...

Boomstick: Sounds like a lot, how about we finish off the abilities section with a Lightning Round?

Pop-Up: In Random's Battles, a Lightning Round is where a large amount of powers, which are only used on a few occasions, are discussed in one paragraph at a time. This helps keep the analysis at a reasonable length [only for Random to make the fight over 10K words most of the time and throw reasonable length out the window].

Wiz: Sure thing! First off, Black Hat has shown himself to be capable of telekinesis, such as when he strangled Dr. Flug without using his arm.

Boomstick: He has quite a knack for creating portals, for either trapping people inside them like that one poor cameraman (in a literal sense) or releasing otherworldly noises.

Wiz: There's a good chance Black Hat may be immortal, given he has been alive for thousands of years at this point. He could also just be on the verge of death, but that's very unlikely.

Boomstick: He can teleport by disappearing into a black mist and then reappearing... also in a black mist. It doesn't need to be an instant teleportation, he can also just stay as this black mist for a bit.

Wiz: He has quite a lot of animal-related abilities up his sleeve, whether that be brain-washing them to be his servants, controlling insects to his will, or just creating a badass flaming horse out of nowhere.

Boomstick: The same thing goes for weather. He can just summon black clouds over an entire area, make lightning strike in his mere presence, and control said lightning! This includes natural disasters, as shown with Pompeii.

Wiz: He has been able to regenerate several body parts of his, like his hand or his face, which he tore off for no real reason. Additionally, that scene shows that he doesn't seem to be able to feel pain, which is also supported by the fact he's able to ingest the world's most corrosive acid without any negative outcome.

Boomstick: Hey, wasn't I supposed to cover that?

Wiz: Sorry, too good of a transition to pass up.

Boomstick: Eh, I guess that makes sense. Not only can he regenerate body parts, he can just... generate them, like he did with a copy of Flug's arm.

Wiz: He has brought multiple people back from the dead, like a pirate crew or an ancient Aztec warrior who was turned into a stone mask by Hutzi-... Huitzl-... Huitzo-... uh... I give up.

Boomstick: It's obviously Huitzilopochtli, Wiz. Last but not least, Black Hat can manipulate life to his liking. Whether it be completely changing one's appearance or creating an eldritch horror that houses inside the sun. I'm not joking.

Wiz: With the abilities listed, it's time to move onto his arsenal. With the vast amount of items the Black Hat Organization has made for various villainous vermin, there's bound to be a blunder or two.

Boomstick: For example, the Anti-Gravity Device. Not a ray, but a device, the difference being that while a ray can be aimed at a certain object to make it weightless, the device just makes everything in the area weightless.

Wiz: This comes with a notable downside; the user is affected as well. For example, if you happen to want to send your enemy to space using this, chances are you're getting sent up there with them.

Boomstick: Then there's also the Shrink/Growth-Ray, which, as the name suggests, alters one's size. The issue with this one is you can't control the exact size the affected individual is grown or shrunk to, which may lead to mass destruction.

Wiz: But hey, if you've got the mind of a salesman, this can result in a great product.

Black Hat: ...running a new special! Giant monster sized bear, perfect for stampeding through your town! Any takers?

Boomstick: For the last of the BHO's unsold products is the Evil Ray, a device that can bring the most evil thing one can think of to life. The functionality of this differs with every person, depending on what they find evil or not. It's much more powerful in the hands of someone who considers Satan and his power over hell evil than someone who was stung by a wasp once and still holds a grudge.

Pop-Up: Black Hat also has some weaponry that is found on himself, like his sharp claws or his laser-shooting monocle.

Wiz: These items bring us to the first entry of our last section, weaknesses, that being; Black Hat has no control over his own inventions.

Boomstick: Sure, they are his property, and he can use them to his will, but, unlike a proper weapon, it often backfires on him when used. The only exception are his claws, which are part of his body, so it makes sense they'd work just fine.

Wiz: Another weakness of his is his impatience and ego. Black Hat is shown to lose his temper fairly quickly, often from minor inconveniences like a machine being toyed around with or a photo being snapped.

Boomstick: Though, unlike his temper, Black Hat ultimately comes up anything but short in terms of combat capability. It's best not to mess with the Master Of Evil, or you might find yourself being fed to an overly energetic madwoman.

DUMMI: Können Sie mich jetzt endlich wieder umschalten?

Boomstick: Oh, right, almost forgot about that. We'll be right back!

Black Hat: This is Black Hat! Here to make your most wicked thoughts come to life! Literally!

The Warden takes "good" care of criminals in DEATH BATTLE![]

Wiz: Somewhere, in a land far, far away, located on the top of not one, but two volcanos, stands the grandest prison the world has ever seen; Superjail, housing double the population of the US (at least until almost all of the prisoners died, but let's ignore that for now).

Boomstick: Such an enormous amount of inmates requires a worthy leader. A man with determination to rehabilitate those who do wrong, a man with discipline to keep the unruly ones in check, a man with dignity that makes him truly stand out. Sadly, The Warden is none of those.

Wiz: Ever since he was a little kid in the erarly 1900's, The Warden, real name Mark Davis, had dreams about a massive jail housing hundreds of thousands of inmates, over all of which he'd be the master. While Mark firmly believed in his dreams' potential, his father, a prison warden, dismissed the idea, calling it childish tomfoolery.

Boomstick: Crushing his child's dreams isn't even the worst thing this douche of a dad has done. He made Mark endure emotional and sometimes physical abuse throughout his childhood, one notable example being the time he forced his kid to decapitate a puppy because it was "too kind".

Wiz: However, in an instant, Mark's life would turn around when his father dies in a freak accident that involves, *ahem*, stepping on a lego brick, falling out of a window, hitting his crotch on a flag, bouncing off a roof, getting kicked by a horse and getting hanged on a noose. What a way to go out.

Boomstick: His father's sudden passing meant that Mark would inherit the title of head warden much earlier than expected. So, not being limited by any outside forces, he built Superjail to his liking, somehow still believing to this day that his dad would've loved it.

Wiz: Of course, that massive a jail can't be handled alone, so he hired exactly three employees to assist him. We have Jared, the nervous accountant, Alice, the strangely masculine guard, and Jailbot. Well, the latter isn't really an employee, more like a robotic assistant who Mark already had in mind once he first envisioned Superjail.

Boomstick: But even with help, keeping Superjail under proper control will be impossible, until you just so happen to have some tricks up your sleeve, which The Warden luckily does.

Wiz: Long story short; The Warden kind of serves as Superjail's personal god, as he seems to be able to influence everything happening there. Weather, death, dreams, The Warden is in control of practically everything.

The Warden: It's called "playing" god for a reason, doctor!

Boomstick: He can just summon lightning, snow, rain, and other weather events, erase people from existence at the snap of his fingers, and invade and manipulate his inmates' dreams. He can also put a zipper one someone's mouth to shut them up.

Pop-Up: The Warden basically has god-like powers, though those are limited to the general area of Superjail.

Wiz: Case in point, The Warden is one pretty powerful guy, maybe even a bit too powerful for a human.

Boomstick: Well, human isn't really the best way to describe him. I mean, have you ever met an average human that could randomly turn into a universe? I doubt that.

Wiz: You do have a point there, Boomstick. The Warden possesses many otherworldly abilities, the most iconic of which is his shapeshifting. However, this isn't just any old normal shapeshifting.

Boomstick: The Warden can pretty much turn into anything. He can extend his limbs, grow incredibly large, turn into multiple versions of himself (which is essentially cloning), a pint of beer, a pirate, his main office, a fan, an 8-bit Warden, a sword, a pair of pants, the letter U, a clock, an airplane, a plate of breakfast, Abraham Lincoln, a balloon, a solar panel, a vacuum cleaner, a car, an entire damn universe, you name it.

Wiz: His shape-shifting isn't just restricted to various objects though. This power grants him great elastic qualities, with which he can stretch, bend and twist his entire body however he wants it to.

Boomstick: As mentioned before, he can also clone himself with this power. Hell, he doesn't even have a limit to how many versions of him can exist at once, there could be hundreds at a time if the occasion calls for it. Although, he doesn't usually have more than 10 at a time, unless you count his faces spreading across Earth as cloning.

Wiz: In summary, he's kinda the peak of shape-shifting.

PopUp: Some shape-shifting abilities that weren't mentioned is him switching between states of solid, liquid and gas, changing his size, and switching his entire outfit on a whim, though the latter can't be utilised in combat. Also, we're switching back into a lightning round, so buckle up.

Boomstick: Then there's also the fact that he's incredibly athletic. He can get from place to place within mere milliseconds, and is able to jump high enough to scale a small tower! Hell, he was able to dodge minigun fire, flamethrowers and lasers all at once!

Wiz: Another very notable fact about The Warden is that he has some great regeneration powers. On one occasion, he was stabbed in the stomach by a massive pair of scissors, and he was just fine afterwards!

Boomstick: This, somehow, also applies to situations where he literally dies. Be it being decapitated, frozen, or any other horrifying way to go out, he'll be just fine in the next episode.

Wiz: The Warden has shown to be a genius sometimes, such as his engineering prowess. He's the one who built JailBot, a fully sentient AI with quite the arsenal to boot, murderous night lights, a shrink ray and a weather machine. Unfortunately, that genius isn't really seen often, as his insanity turns him into a mindless lunatic.

Boomstick: But who needs a mind when you have a hammerspace? He can pull any item he wants out of his ass, in a figurative sense of course. Though, in a literal sense would be on par with the crazy shit that happens at Superjail. I mean, he gave birth to himself once, isn't that fucked up?

Pop-Up: The Warden can create items himself, but it hasn't been shown as combat-effective.

Wiz: The Warden can shift his eyes into make-shift binoculars, which he can move and twist to his liking. With that, he can see practically anywhere without himself moving a muscle.

Boomstick: He can fly using a variety of methods. He could either shapeshift into a bee or an airplane, inflate his head into a balloon of skin, or use his cane as a floating scooter.

Wiz: He can breathe underwater, or underblood rather, as shown when he entered Jared's bloodstream as a metaphor for sugar.

Boomstick: He seems to possess transmutation as well, like the infamous wolf suits that turned the wearer into actual wolves or turning Jared into a plane, which was also able to fly.

Wiz: He also has Pyrokinesis, in the form of being able to shoot fireballs from his hands while either thinking of his happiest memories or invading a dream.

Pop-Up: Likewise, his worst memories let him create blue constructs. Another unmentioned type of kinesis he has is telekinesis, which is used very scarcely.

Boomstick: Some more abilities of his are Energy Absorption/Redirection and Teleportation. There isn't really much to say on these, they're pretty self-explanatory.

Wiz: He's quite the resistant individual, having withstood being on fire, being excessively shocked, being in space, in a snowstorm, in a sandstorm, and in the midst of time collapsing in on itself.

Boomstick: Last but not least, according to the Time Police, The Warden would be able to overthrow the entire world mostly on his own in the near future. Make of that whatever you want to.

Wiz: This next section covering his arsenal is a bit more interesting. See, he doesn't possess a large amount of weaponry on his own, he rather is the arsenal itself.

Boomstick: We've mentioned that The Warden can turn into pretty much anything, "pretty much anything" in this context including any weapon that would be useful to him in a current scenario.

Wiz: We've seen him do this in his and Alice's fight against Sunshine, his weather robot. He turned into a multitude of tools like a sword, a vacuum cleaner and a solar panel to swiftly defeat his enemies in very quick succession.

Boomstick: Other weapons of his that aren't just himself include his trusty cane, which he can use for a multitude of acts like whacking someone over the head, playing golf, or using it as a flying tool. Other than that, he doesn't have much to offer in terms of arsenal.

Wiz: While this isn't really much of a weakness, as his shapeshifting more than compensates for that, there is one weakness that tends to screw him over quite often; He is, let's say, a bit mad.

Boomstick: What Wiz meant to say is absolutely batshit insane. In just the pilot episode, while petting a rabbit, he tears it's skin off, puts it's flayed outer layer on his head, and comes to the verdict that the entire jail should wear bunny suits. And his face is filled with glee throughout it!

Wiz: Safe to say, this lack of sanity can cause quite a lot of issues. He constantly puts himself and others in danger due to his reckless nature, be it intentional or not, sometimes even getting a large amount of people killed.

Boomstick: Also, while he may be incredibly resistant to injuries, he is not resistant to pain. At all.

Wiz: He can still feel pain, which is a curse for a very resistant person. Imagine getting sliced in half, and while still being alive, feeling all of it. That's gotta be terrible.

Boomstick: Has that ever stopped The Warden? Of course it hasn't! He still rules his jail under an iron fist, caring little for the atrocities that occur there on a regular basis. If you ever find yourself comitting a crime, pray a white rectangular robot doesn't get to you before the cops do.

The Warden: Hello there! You're in Superjail! I'm The Warden, and you're a criminal.

Intermission[]

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. We've run the data through all possibilities

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!

???: 🎵 Speaking of cops...🎵

Wiz: Huh? Who was that?

(Time freezes, and a group of four neatly-dressed individuals appear. This was the Time Police.)

The Time Police: 🎵 Wizard and Boomstick, we have come for you! 🎵

(One of them uses a device resembling a USB-Stick, which teleports everyone present elsewhere, just as Jocelyn the Intern walks in)

Jocelyn The Intern: Hey there, you two! I've finally got- huh? Where'd they go?

-

(Wiz and Boomstick suddenly find themselves in the middle of nowhere, locked inside futuristic cages. A very confused Ringmaster recognizes them in the audience?

Ringmaster: Wait, huh? What are they of all people doing here?

(On top of a gigantic pillar, the Time Judge appears. The court is now in session.)

Time Judge: Wizard and Boomstick of Death Battle, you stand before the Time Court because on this day in your time continuum, you caused a fight between two reality-warping madmen which would lead to the destruction of the universe as we know it.

Wiz: What?!

Boomstick: Look, we pit characters from all across fiction against one another all the time. Hell, we just did Galactus vs Unicron, and nothing happened, so why should-

Time Judge: Silence! You are accused of 612 counts of time crime...

Time Creature: 🎵Time crime...🎵

Time Judge: ...waging an all-out war that went out of proportions due to your neglect, wrecking the very concept of time!

Wiz: Okay, I feel like you're overselling it a little-

Time Judge: How do you plead?

Wiz: Uhm, uh, I don't-

Boomstick: Agh, this is all a bunch of bullshit! How do you know this is going to happen?

Wiz: Boomstick, calm do-

Time Judge: SILENCE! Order! The proof...

Pre-Fight[]

It is a very good day in Atreno City. The streets are bustling with life as usual, the many small shops sell their goods to the consumers, and there's not a singular mere hint of illegal activity in sight for miles.

One can credit that last part being true to none other than Sunblast, the city's noble hero. With his incredible strength, good heart and rock-hard abs, he makes sure that no man, woman or child is at risk of a criminal's evil doings, and has succeeded to do such for a long time.

Of course, with a force of nature like Sunblast by the city's side, no normal human would be stupid enough to even consider indulging in any villainous shenanigans.

Unfortunately, one fellow by the peculiar name of Jackknife is anything but a normal human.

Disguising his usually disheveled self with the attire of a lady from the Victorian Era, he wanders across the sidewalk like any normal citizen, and while he doesn't quite blend in with the rest of the crowd, he doesn't stand out enough to raise a certain hero's suspicions.

With evil intent in mind, he swiftly walks into a pet shop, making sure to not give the other shoppers any bad impressions. Once inside, he wanders past most of the shelves until he reaches a cage full of hamsters, all of which expectantly look at him with pearly eyes.

He looks at the small animals and assumes that they yearn for a new home. Luckily, that is exactly what he's about to give them, though not one they'd have expected, as he proceeded to grab each hamster one by one and put them in his pants.

While it is unknown what he plans with them, one can assume it's nothing pleasant, as he cackles mischievously upon finishing the task. The goods safely stored, he makes his way to the exit, trying to not divert any attention towards his lower region.

Just as he's about to exit, the store clerk calls out to him, catching the criminal off guard.

Store Clerk: Have you taken anything from here?

Jackknife shakes his head violently, for he couldn't speak properly for some reason. The clerk doesn't seem to believe his answer, as he gives him a mean stare.

Store Clerk: Madam, your pants are moving.

The criminal looks down and, to his shock, finds that the clerk is correct. Perhaps the pants weren't the greatest spot to smuggle hamsters in. As he desperately tries hiding the area with a handbag he previously stole, he stresses out the hamsters inside, who then proceed to try and relieve their stress by biting... you know what.

The pain from the unexpected attack evokes such an extreme reaction from Jackknife that his headpiece falls off, ruining his disguise. The clerk immediately recognizes the criminal, as he had been terrorizing multiple pet shops recently, his included.

Store Clerk: Oh, it's you! Stay right where you are, I'm calling the authorities!

The clerk reaches for the phone, much to Jackknife's dismay. In a fit of rage and panic, he runs up to the clerk and grabs him by the back of the head.

Store Clerk: Hey! Let me go!

Jackknife ignores his request, and instead walks towards an aquarium with piranhas inside, into which he dunks the clerk's head. The piranhas immediately notice the sudden appearance of new flesh to consume, and continuously take small bites of the clerk's face in quick succession until all the flesh on his face was almost completely picked off.

Once he notices this, Jackknife lifts the almost dead clerk out the tank and lets him drop to the ground. He then takes his leave, but not before spitefully taking all the money from the cash register, tearing the register from the counter and slamming it onto the back of the clerk's head, ending the poor man's life.

Luckily, as soon as he walks through the door, he is confronted by Sunburst, who apparently waited for him to exit.

Sunblast: When will you criminals learn? Ugh, for shame.

The hero delivers a powerful punch directly onto Jackknife face, knocking him to the ground, which the trapped hamsters use as an opportunity to escape. Sunblast notices the hamsters leaving his pants, and is disgusted by the sight.

Sunblast: Alright, punk, this calls for a beating!

He then proceeds to unload a barrage of punches onto Jackknife, whose unintelligible pleas for help aren't heard by the observers, not like they'd help him if that weren't the case.

From a nearby alleyway, Dr. Flug, Demencia and 505, who have come to defeat Sunblast on behalf of Penumbra, witness the act from a nearby alleyway, seeing the situation as a perfect opportunity to sneak attack the hero.

Demencia: Come on, Flug, what are you waiting for? Shoot him!

Dr. Flug: Calm down, Demencia, we shouldn't try and rush this.

505: *Markiplier noises*

Flug slowly pulls out his shrink ray, and carefully points it at the still distracted Sunblast.

Dr. Flug: Great, he's none the wiser.

Demencia: Go on, do it!

Dr. Flug: I said calm down! I got this.

He puts his finger on the trigger, Demencia and 505 watching in anticipation. Just as he's about to shrink the hero, a loud sound coming from the dumpster behind then catches them by surprise.

Demencia: Huh? What was that?

Dr. Flug: I'm... not sure...

505: *Scared Markiplier noises*

The dumpster comtinues to shake and rumble for a bit, before a white and somewhat rectangle-shaped object appears, destroying the dumpster from the inside. On the upper half, a screen is present, which is quick to display a frowning face. This was Jailbot.

Demencia: What's that thing?!

Dr. Flug: Uh, hold on, let me just...

Flug shoots the shrink ray at the sudden visitor, yet the ray bounces off the surface and heads towards a building behind them. This shrinks the building, but not those inside, which causes all habitants to be crushed inside until the building couldn't shrink anymore due to a lack of space.

Dr. Flug: ...at least this would make Black Hat happy.

505 is then grabbed by one of Jailbot's robotic arms, which Demencia doesn't take lightly to. In a grand leap, she jumps at the floating robot, who simply moves to the side. The villainess lands head first in a trash can, which Jailbot picks up and stores in it's metal body.

Dr. Flug, slightly scared of the robot, slowly backs out the alleyway onto the streets, where Sunblast is still beating up Jackknife. However, as soon as the hero spots Flug, he puts the onslaught on hold to focus on what he assumes to be a bigger threat.

Sunblast: You again! What evil schemes do you and your band of misfits have in store today?

Dr. Flug: What? None, I just-

Sunblast: Nonsense! I can't trust you, therefore I must-

Before Sunblast can finish announcing his intentions, a robotic arm grabs Dr. Flug by the leg and drags him back into the alleyway, surprising Sunblast. The hero floats towards the alleyway and looks inside, yet he finds nothing.

(Cue Comin' Home by Cheeseburger)

Turns out, a few meters above him, Jailbot was intending on carrying away the newfound criminals, but before he can do that, he spots Jackknife on the street, almost unconscious. The robot floats down and puts Dr. Flug inside his metal body, as he couldn't carry two people with one arm, then gets a hold of Jackknife instead and flies back up, Sunblast noticing none of it.

The robot proceeds to fly over an arena with 5 odd buildings inside, a destroyed saloon, a city in which a giant mech stands proudly, a very tall hotel, a shack in the middle of the woods, and ???, before finally arriving at it's location; Superjail.

Jailbot lowers itself onto the jail ground and releases all four captured criminals at once. They tumble to the ground, exhausted and confused. After a few seconds, Dr. Flug stands back up.

Dr. Flug: Ow, my head... wait, where are we?

Upon saying this, Flug and the others begin looking at their surroundings, Jackknife being the only one to recognize their location. He tries running in a random direction, but Jailbot is quick to stop him with it's extending arm.

Before they can come to a proper verdict, a sound from above catches their attention. Floating down from the skies on a really weird looking steed comes a sharply-dressed man clad in purple, donning a tophat and a pair of glasses. After a few seconds, he, who goes by The Warden, lands safely on the ground.

The Warden: Why, hello there! You're in Superjail!

Dr. Flug: Superwhat?

The Warden: I'm The Warden, and you're a criminal.

Silence befalls the area. The captives were speechless at their predicament, except for Jackknife, who tried to grunt his way out of Jailbot's grasp. After a few seconds, Dr. Flug speaks up again.

Dr. Flug: So, uh, Warden, how long are we gonna be here?

The Warden: Excellent question, Sir Paperbag! Let me just check my watch, aaaaaaaand... your stay ends in 22 minutes.

Dr. Flug: Oh, that's not actually too-

The Warden: No, wait, silly me, heh. I meant 374 millenia. Funny how one can trip up on something as simple as that, right?

Demencia: What?!

Dr. Flug: We can't stay here for that long! We have an important job-

The Warden: Shhh, I don't wanna hear it! Don't you know what you've done?

Dr. Flug: Yes, I know we tried to kill someone, but-

The Warden: Oh, you think that's why you're in here, huh? No, you've been put here for something far worse... littering!

Dr. Flug: ...you're joking, right?

The Warden: This is no joking matter! Jailbot, send them to any available cells!

Before the AI can do that, Demencia lunges at The Warden in an attempt to attack him, yet she is grabbed by Jailbot just in time for him to be unscathed.

The Warden: Let me rephrase that. Send Jackknife, the bear and the guy with the paperbag to any available cells, and send the rabid beast to the dungeon!

Before any further attempts at escape could be made, the four are dragged to their respective cells by Jailbot, much to the Warden's delight.

The Warden: Another job well done.

He wackily hops back to his office, not expecting the eventual backfire this arrest would bring upon him.

-

Not long after his arrest, Dr. Flug and 505 sit in their shared cell, thinking about their predicament, 505's lack of speech capability diminishing the potential for a deep conversation. Suddenly, Dr. Flug gets an idea.

He runs to the cell door and spots a female guard by the name of Alice standing beside it.

Dr. Flug: Hey, you, uh-

Alice: What do you want?

Dr. Flug: Oh, quite deep voice you got there-

Alice: Ugh, tell me about it. Now what do you want?

Dr. Flug: Say, uh, don't prisoners usually get a phone call?

Alice: Yes, of course they do, why are you asking?

Dr. Flug: Well, I was wondering if I could redeem that phone call right now.

Alice: What, you want to waste your one chance of contacting the outside world after a few minutes?

Dr. Flug: ...yes.

Alice: Fine then. Our prison phones don't work right now, you can borrow my cellphone instead. Don't you dare look through the gallery though!

Alice hands Dr. Flug her phone, and he promptly begins calling the only person that could help him and his allies...

-

In a dark room, eminated only by a TV, sits a menacing figure, one known for causing pain and despair for too many years to count. Clothed in a black coat, a tophat and a monocle, he watches the current program in utter boredom, for the current show by the name of Wee-Weenies fails to capture the evil he usually entertains himself with.

Wee-Weenie #1: Oh, look, isn't this the magical straw?

Wee-Weenie #2: Wow, it's so shiny!

Wee-Weenie #3: Now we can sip strawberry and chocolate milkshakes forever!

Wee-Weenies In Unison: Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray!...

Black Hat: How can kids watch this? Their brains must've turned to nothing but rot by now. I believe I should... raise the stakes.

Black Hat then proceeds to change the events occuring in the series. While it isn't seen what now happens, one can assume it's nothing pleasant.

Wee-Weenie #1: Wait, what's happeni- oh god!

Wee-Weenie #2: Help, help, it's eating me!

Wee-Weenie #1: Oh no! We have to-

Wee-Weenie #3: I'm on fire! Someone help me, oh god!

Wee-Weenie #1: Why is this happening?!

Black Hat: Haha! Now that's entertainment.

Black Hat's torture session is interrupted by a phone call not long after.

Black Hat: Ugh, just as it was getting good.

He picks up the phone, hoping it wasn't another stupid prank call whose culprit he'll have to torture again.

Black Hat: Hello, Black Hat speaking.

Dr. Flug: Hello, Si-

Black Hat: Flug?! What the hell are you calling me for?

Dr. Flug: Well, we ran into an unexpected obstacle during our last mission and we may or may not have gotten arrested.

Black Hat: What?! Are you really this useless?

Dr. Flug: Look, we'd just need you to get us out, legally or not.

Black Hat: Ugh, fine. Where are you right now?

Dr. Flug: I'm not sure, there was a weird guy in a purple suit-

Black Hat: Alright, I'll be right there.

Dr. Flug: Wait, what?

Before he can get a chance to respond, Black Hat hangs up the phone call, then incinerates the phone in his palm. He quickly turns into a dark mist, ready to head where he's sure his workers are kept as prisoners.

-

After a few mere seconds, Black Hat arrives outside of The Warden's office, which was just a tower with his head on it. He expectantly knocks on the door, yet nobody comed to open it. He repeats this a few more times, yet there doesn't seem to be a reaction.

Behind the door, The Warden is immersed in a Playboy magazine, intentionally ignoring any outside noise and dismissing it as his accountant coming to pester him.

The Warden: Not now, Jared, I've got something important to do.

Black Hat, now furious, knocks even harder, finally disturbing The Warden's peaceful read.

The Warden: Later, I'm busy!

He immediately went back to marvel at the magazine.

This was the straw that broke the camel's back, as Black Hat gives up on trying to enter through the door and turns into yet another mist instead. The mist appears in front of The Warden's desk, Black Hat following soon after. The villain promptly knocks on his desk.

The Warden: Jared, for the last time, I'm bu-

The Warden lowers the magazine to find that he wasn't speaking to his assistant, rather someone entirely different. That someone quickly incinerated the magazine in a heap of flame, scaring The Warden for a second.

Black Hat: Real busy, huh? Pathetic.

The Warden: What are you doing in my office? Who let you in here?

Black Hat: Look, it seems that you've recently put some of my workers under arrest, and I'd like to bail them out.

The Warden stares at him in silence for a few seconds, them bursts into laughter.

Black Hat: What's so funny?!

The Warden: Oh, you must be misinformed, you can't just "bail out" any prisoners! They have to serve their time, which, in this case, is 374 millenia!

Black Hat: ...do you even know who you're talking to?

The Warden: Hmmmm, no, don't really recognize you.

Black Hat starts taking on a much more intimidating appearance, growing in size, buckled over with some sharp claws as fingers, all the while he explains who he is.

Black Hat: I am Black Hat, the greatest evil to have ever cursed the face of the earth! I have crushed dozens upon hundreds upon thousands upon millions of heroes far surpassing you in sheer might like mere roaches, why would I care to spare an ant?

Not a word is spoken for a good few minutes, until The Warden breaks the silence by laughing once again, finding the whole situation ridiculous...

The Warden: Oh, you're a class act! You'd make a stunning Halloween prop, or maybe a haunted house extra, or a clothing store mannequin! Anyways, I've got a job to tend to, so if you could be so kind and-

Before he can finish his sentence, he is grabbed by the neck by a now severely pissed off Black Hat and lifted above his desk.

Black Hat: Your corpse will make an excellent scarecrow.

The Warden: ...heh, you flatter me-

FIGHT![]

Before The Warden could end his sentence, he was slammed right into his desk, wrecking it in the process. He tries standing back up, but struggles, as some of the wood pieces have gotten stuck in his body.

Black Hat smiles in devilish glee as The Warden starts bleeding out, then puts his foot on his back to prevent him from standing back up.

Black Hat: Just another fool who will soon be forgotten.

He lifts his foot, then brings it back down onto The Warden's back, pushing him more into the sharp pieces of wood. He repeats this a few more times, finding evil delight in it, until he feels someone tapping his shoulder.

Being confused, he turns around to find The Warden's comically extended arm behind him. Before he can properly react, The Warden pushes the villain off of himself, then stands back up. He blows on his thumb, and all the wood shards come flying out of his body, some even hitting Black Hat.

Once every piece of wood is gone, his wounds heal up impressively fast until he looks like nothing had just happened.

The Warden: Bit aggressive there, don't you think?

Black Hat doesn't respond. Instead, he swings his claws at The Warden, hoping to get in a good hit, but he manages to swiftly evade it. Infuriated, Black Hat tries it again, yet it's the same result.

The Warden: What's the matter? Can't keep-

In an attempt to annoy Black Hat, he stands still for a little too long, resulting in Black Hat's claw to tear straight into his face.

The Warden: Ow, nevermind.

Black Hat retreats his claw, then stabs it into The Warden's abdomen. He walks towards one of the many windows in Warden's office, and, with one swift movement, throws the purple-clad madman out of it.

Mark flies out his office, glass shards embedding themselves in his skin as he proceeds to fall down the tower at rapid speeds, screaming all the way throughout, headed straight towards the tour vehicle, which was coincidentally steered by Jared who was showing some special guests around.

Famous Actor, Comedian and Filmmaker Jordan Peele: So, this is the "Superjail" your boss invited us to?

Jared: Indeed! Here you can see the main office, naturally shaped after The Warden himself!

Composite Mike Myers: Ooh, looks groovy!

Shoutmon: [Silence, for his mute ass cannot speak.]

Jared: I'm glad you're enjoying the tour! If you look up there, you can even see The Warden himself!... Wait a second-

The Warden lands right on the windshield of the vehicle and turns into a cartoony purple stain with his face in the middle.

Jared: Sir?! What are you-

The Warden: Jared, put Superjail on lockdown! We have a serious threat!

Jared: But sir, this may lead to another mass purge of our criminals, we really shouldn't-

The Warden: Just do it!

Jared: Alright!

With Jared's agreement, Mark slides off the windshield and gets right back to falling down until he lands in the petting zoo, scaring the animals inside. A dark mist appears before him, and Black Hat appears out of it.

The Warden thinks quickly, and picks up a nearby barrel of toxic weedkiller, holding it over his head.

The Warden: Take this!

He throws the barrel at Black Hat, who slices it in half with his claws. The weedkiller lands on the many animals, condemning them to a brutal demise as their flesh falls off their brittle bones. Somehow, Black Hat was completely unharmed.

The Warden: What? How did you-

Black Hat: You make a ridiculous display.

He picks up one half of the torn apart barrel and throws it at The Warden, knocking him onto the vegetable garden nearby. As Black Hat also makes his way over there, Mark notices that the garden is filled with quite a lot of pesky weeds.

The Warden: I really should take care of that more often... wait a second!

An idea was born. He picks up yet another barrel and prepares to throw it at Black Hat, who grinned mischievously.

Black Hat: Would you really dare try the same tactic that has already failed you?

Instead of answering, The Warden throws the barrel at Black Hat, who, like last time, slices it in half, covering the garden below in it's contents.

Black Hat: You really are- hold on a second, this isn't acid!

The Warden: You're damn right about that!

Black Hat: It's... animal feed?

The Warden: Indeed it is.

Black Hat: ...do you really think mere nutrients could-

Suddenly, the weeds which were previously a mild inconvenience grew to massive sizes, towering over Black Hat and eyeing him.

Black Hat: ...I see.

He is picked up by one of the weeds who tries to consume him, yet another tries to take the villain out of it's fellow weed's maw. A fight between the weeds over their food occurs, which The Warden uses as an opportunity to bolt away.

After a few seconds, Black Hat has had enough and slices through one of the weeds with his laser vision. He shreds another few apart with his claws, and once he's almost fully done, he forces the last ones remaining into a portal.

He stands himself up straight, and goes where he assumes The Warden went. He breaks down a wall, which leads him to the courtyard in which a bunch of prisoners were doing normal prisoner things, like executing the inferior ones.

Eventually, one of the prisoners notices this sudden new visitor.

Prisoner #1: Hey, who's that over there?

Prisoner #2: I don't know. Let's beat him to death!

For some reason, all of the prisoners are on board with the second prisoner's idea. They all rush towards Black Hat with the intention of beating the shit out of him. The villain, even with a horde of bloodthirsty criminals hunting him down, doesn't even flinch at the sight.

He lays his claw on a nearby wall, and slowly scratches it open, opening a gateway to another dimension which emits an awfully loud noise. The prisoners all stop and start yelling in pain and shutting their ears. One by one, each one's head explodes in gruesome fashion, and those whose head doesn't explode have already bled out from tearing out their tympanic cavities.

Once everyone has met their vile end, Black Hat shuts the gateway and blows his fingers like one does the tip of a gun after a spectacular shot. Now knowing his enemy definitely isn't in the courtyard, he walks inside a building, hoping to have more luck there.

-

Jared, in the meantime, has landed his tour vehicle and is dashing to the lockdown button hidden deep within the jail's confines.

Jared: Alright, no time to waste!

The accountant hastily makes his way past multiple cells and into a secret passage. One of the cells he ran past just so happened to be that of Flug and 505, the former having seen the passage. He believes that it may be an exit, so he asks his co-worker for help.

Dr. Flug: Hey 505!

505: Huh?

Dr. Flug: Could you perhaps try and roll against the door to break it open? I think it might work.

505: Hmmm... *approving Markiplier noises*

Dr. Flug: Great! The stage is all yours, buddy.

505 takes a step back, then runs forward and forms into a ball, hoping to be able to run down the door. While the door isn't completely broken, the lock is.

Dr. Flug: Oh my god, it actually worked!

505: *excited Markiplier noises*

Dr. Flug: Stay right there for a bit, okay? I think I should do this alone.

505: *saddened Markiplier noises*

He peeks his head out of the door, then, after making sure no guard was around, he silently but quickly went the same way Jared went as 505 waves goodbye in a saddened motion.

-

While walking through the monotone morning mist walls, Black Hat stumbles upon cheering and applause coming from behind one of the doors. He stares at it for a few seconds, until curiosity gets the better of him and he opens it.

Inside he finds what appears to be a talent show going on, with dozens of inmates wildly applauding the prior performance, much to Black Hat's confusion. A german doctor stands on the stage, ready to introduce the next performance.

The Doctor: And now, for a truly villainous performance, we have The Warden, and his little pal, Black Hat Pee-Dee!

Black Hat: Black Hat who?

The Warden steps onto the stage, a wooden dummy dressed like Black Hat on his hand. The crowd goes wild at this sight, as they tend to with Pee-Dee's performances.

Pee-Dee: Hey there, numbnuts, I'm Black Hat, and I'd like to tell you folks a few things about myself!

Black Hat: What is this nonsense...

Pee-Dee: For one, I can't properly wipe my ass, you know why? I tear myself a new one, literally!

The crowd erupts into laughter and cheers, which is the polar opposite of Black Hat's reaction, who stares at the dummy, unamused.

Pee-Dee: You know why the Pompeii disaster happened? They decided that they would rather face certain death than face my hideous visage!

The crowd gives the same positive response as before, while a slight snarl forms on Black Hat's "hideous visage". He was very clearly not enjoying this.

Pee-Dee: One last thing before I go, I like to claim that I'm the most evil villain alive, and that there's nobody better than me...

The eventual punchline keeps the viewers excited, since the last joke surely must be the best. Even Black Hat is a bit curious, though in a more negative sense. Surely this has-been couldn't make his likeness even more a mockery.

Pee-Dee: ...but guess what?

The Warden: What?

All inmates in unison: What?

Black Hat: What?

Pee-Dee: I come from DeviantArt!

The crowd erupts into unhinged laughter and applause, some even puking due to their stomachs cramping so much. Multiple roses are thrown on the stage as a sign of gratitude.

Black Hat: Oh, you've done it now...

Black Hat in engulfed in a dark mist, then disappears from the back of the room.

On the stage, The Warden, Pee-Dee still on his hand, bows infront of the crowd, when he suddenly feels something on his neck. He looks down to find a cane, and just as he sees it, he's pulled off-stage with said cane, causing Pee-Dee to slip off. None of the audience notices his sudden disappearance.

Once he's pulled backstage, he sees that Black Hat is the one handling the cane, and he looks furious, to put it lightly.

The Warden: Oh, my cane! I've been looking for-

Black Hat lifts up The Warden with the cane, then flings him against a water tank with an inmate inside. He then casts a flame in his free hand and fires it at Mark, who ducks under it. The fire heats up the water tank behind him, boiling the poor prisoner trapped inside until he was fully cooked.

The Warden stands up and sees this, and is weirdly excited by it.

The Warden: Woah, now that was a cool trick!

Black Hat doesn't acknowledge the compliment, instead aiming yet another flame at The Warden.

The Warden: And for my last trick...

Just as the flame is fired, The Warden disappears into a purple puff of smoke, much to Black Hat's annoyance.

Black Hat: I should've seen this coming.

-

After quite a lot of running, Dr. Flug finds himself in a dark corridor, the walls being covered in doors. Given Jared went this way, there's a good chance the potential exit must be behind one of those doors. Only question is; which?

He opens the first door he sees to find what appears to be a science fair going on. An inmate is showcasing an extravagant looking device, which immediately piques Flug's interest.

Dr. Flug: Huh, I wonder what this-

All of a sudden, the device bursts into flames, setting it's creator on fire too. He runs around in a panic, stumbles into his co-participant's curtain and setting that on fire too. One thing leads to another, and soon the entire room is lit on fire, everyone inside slowly being burned alive.

Flug slowly closes the door. This clearly wasn't it.

He goes to the next door and finds a giant organ-like device.

Dr. Flug: Oh, Black Hat owns one of those too! I wonder...

He walks over to the instrument, and sits down in front of it. He spots some sort of headwear on the control board, so he promptly attaches it. He begins playing the organ, oblivious to it's purpose.

Back in 505's cell, a plunger like device is lowered from the ceiling. The bear asleep, it attaches itself onto his head.

Before Flug knows it, he's transported to a weird new world, filled with ice cream, rainbows, and unicorns. Flug is, naturally, very confused. Where was he, and how did he get there? Suddenly, he recognizes his co-worker riding a unicorn off in the distance. The bear seems to be... speaking?

505: I'm just the greatest! And the smartest, the bravest and the handsomest!

Dr. Flug: ...what in the actual f-

Dr. Flug quickly takes off the headset, then walks back outside, wanting to forget that as quick as possible. As he steps outside, he hears flushing from behind one of the doors, and the short man from before walks out and runs into a door conveniently labeled "Prison Controls".

Dr. Flug: Why didn't I check that one first?

The doctor enters through the door as well, interested in seeing what "Prison Controls" means and if it could potentially be their exit.

-

The Warden appears back in his office, having narrowly escaped being burned alive. He sits down in frnt of his broken down table, deeply exhausted.

The Warden: Phew, that was a handful. Welp, time for some relaxation!

Grabbing a remote, The Warden turns around to face a wall of televisions, and turns them on. The show "Jailpup", starring Jailbot as the titular role, was playing right now, and given it's the most well-beloved show in Superjail, every prisoner who isn't dead eagerly watches it in their respective cells, The Warden along with them.

The Warden: Jailpup! My favorite!

The episode starts with Jailpup taking a piss against a nearby tree, when a little kid throws a ball against his head. The kid laughs in a mocking manner, making Jailpup sad.

The Warden: Aw, poor Jailpup. I sure hope he's able to avenge himself.

Before the kid can bully Jailpup any more, he hears an ice cream truck approaching, and quickly heads for that instead. With the kid distracted, Jailpup snaps a rather large branch off of the tree and floats behind the kid.

The Warden: Go, Jailpup, go!

Just as the robotic dog is about to stab the kid with the branch, the screen turns to static. The despair following this interruption can be heard everywhere, as thousands of prisoners are infuriated over the lack of a proper conclusion.

The broadcast slowly returns, but it was no longer Jailpup, it was a recording of Black Hat standing in front of a yellow background. Naturally, the inmates and The Warden are very confused, but they can't properly process the oddity before Black Hat starts speaking.

Black Hat: Hello, inmates of Superjail, Black Hat here. Most of you probably already know my name for the mockery made of me in The Warden's performance...

The Warden: He watched my performance? Wow!

Black Hat: And let me tell you, it disgusted me. Not the act itself, but the man behind it. For years, he leads this jail like a dictator, neglecting you, the employees, and the jail itself, yet you continue to follow him. As the embodiment of evil, I've learned to not follow authority, to live a life of rebellion, and it has gained me inconcievable amounts of respect. The law is the only things that holds you back from achieving greatness. So, what are you waiting for? Start a riot! Become free!

This message is met with mass approval. The inmates go mad, havong come to realize the horrific conditions they've been living in. They begin going feral, causing havoc in their cells and trying to pry their way out. Alice, who was standing outside of some cells, could hear the chaos from within.

Alice: Huh? What the? Did that wacko give the inmates drugs again?

In his office, The Warden is, obviously, panicking.

The Warden: A riot? In Superjail?! Not on my watch!

In a last saving grace, he picks up a microphone and speaks over the jail's loudspeaker.

The Warden: Warning, inmates and employees of Superjail. You are asked to disregard the previous broadcast interruption. I repeat, ignore the previous broadcast interruption. Any attempts of rebellion will be shut down with physical force, and if bad comes to worse, we'll resort to lethal force. This is not a drill.

This announcement doesn't necessarily calm down the inmates as it should've, it rather has the opposite effect. They get even more reckless, not banging against the doors in an attempt to escape, though they obviously fail to do so.

Black Hat: Hopeless, isn't it?

The Warden is caught off-guard by Black Hat appearing behind him and jumps up from his chair, then recovers from the inital shock fairly quickly, taking on a much more ticked off demeanor.

The Warden: You! You're behind this!

Black Hat: Your own people are against you, and there's nothing you can do about it.

The Warden: That's what you think! This is my jail, this place is under my command, and it's my job to keep it that way! God forbid I let it all get ruined by you!

Black Hat: Oh, how pitiful.

Black Hat shoots a laser through his monocle, which The Warden narrowly dodges. He then promptly leaves the office and hops towards the exit, Black Hat shooting more lasers along the way.

-

Back in the Prison Controls room, Jared has finally reached the panel. He is about to push the lockdown button when he is startled by a voice behind him.

Dr. Flug: Hey, you! What are you doing?

Jared: Huh? Who are you? And how did you get here?

Dr. Flug: Doesn't matter! Now, what the hell is this place? This doesn't look like an exit...

Jared: Exit? That's on the other side of Superjail!

Dr. Flug: ...damn.

Jared: Spare yourself the hassle, this jail's about to be locked down!

The jail's about to be locked down? This removes any and all possibility of an exit. Flug couldn't let this happen, so as soon as Jared had his back turned, he pulled out his shrink ray which he somehow managed to smuggle inside the jail and shot Jared with it, shrinking him down to the size of a beetle.

Jared: What the hell? Get me back to normal!

Dr. Flug: I'm afraid I can't let that happen.

Flug scrambles inside his coat pocket and pulls out a glass jar. He kneels down and attempts to trap Jared inside the jar, but the pocket-sized accountant jumps to the side. After several more failed attempts, Jared runs towards Flug and starts climbing up his leg.

In a panicked response, Flug tries shaking his leg violently in order to possibly knock Jared off, yet the tiny accountant doesn't even drop one bit. Jared continues climbing Flug's body until eventually reaching his shoulders.

Performing an incredible leap of faith, Jared jumps from Flug's shoulder onto the lockdown button, saving the outside world with whatever threat was-

Dr. Flug: Uh, the lockdown button is right here.

Jared looks at the button beside the one he was on, and lo and behold, he pressed the wrong button. He slowly slides down the one he was on to see what he actually did instead.

Jared: Free all inmates... oh no.

-

The Warden and Black Hat were in the very center of Superjail, the latter still in pursuit of the former, surrounded by hundreds of cells housing rebellious madmen, when the loudspeaker suddenly emits an auto-generated voice.

Warning: Freeing All Inmates...

Both of them freeze as soon as they heard those words.

The Warden: What?!

Black Hat: You imbecile! Did you do this!

The Warden: Me?! Why would I of all people free the inmates?

Their argument is cut short by the unmistakable sound of hundreds of steel doors being unlocked at once.

Calamity Ensues.

-

All the doors open, causing all the prisoners inside to escape their now demolished cells. Once they all collectively spot The Warden, they surround him with sinister intent, much to the purple-clad madman's dismay.

The Warden: Alright, alright, how about we all calm-

His attempts at calming down the crowd is interrupted when someone throws a glass bottle at his head, which The Warden narrowly dodges. All of the other prisoners get inspired by that attempt and throw their own items as well.

The Warden frantically hops from spot to spot, trying to evade bottles, toilet lids, lunch trays, dead rats, grey bricks, and every other throwable piece of junk the inmates could find. This went on for a bit longer, yet once they figured that The Warden was too swift to be impacted by their projectiles, they decide to beat him up directly.

He watches as dozens of inmates surround and circle around him, each one's expression more infuriated than the last one's. If he wanted to make it out alive, The Warden had to think of a solution very quickly, and, as luck would have it, this solution would come to him almost immediately.

He pulls out a purple megaphone and starts speaking into it.

The Warden: Attention all inmates, employees and unwelcome visitors of Superjail!

They all stop and stare, wondering what The Warden will do to try and save himself. Mark points at Black Hat specifically, who naturally already moved away a bit.

The Warden: Hey, you, Black Hat, come here for a second!

Albeit reluctantly, Black Hat enters the center of the mob, intimidating everyone around him except for The Warden himself.

The Warden: So, tell me, the only reason you're here is because you want to bail out our three new prisoners, right?

Black Hat: ...yes, why do you ask?

The Warden: Well, I'd be willing to make a deal which may result in you getting exactly what you want!

Black Hat: Go on.

The Warden: Within this this very jail houses a colosseum by the name of Fight City, formerly Pamelonia, where all the prisoners can fight to the death until the last one alive gets blessed with freedom. Now, my proposition is that everyone here will engage in a massive battle royale of sorts, and only the very last ones make it. For fairness, we'd be divided into teams. You and me get all of our employees, half of the prisoners and a trump card, if necessary. If I happen to win, I get to keep not only your employees as inmates, but you too. If you happen to win, you get your employees back, and I won't be a bother to you anymore. So, do we have a deal?

Black Hat ponders for a bit. Was all the violence and bloodshed really worth his employees?... After a few seconds of careful thinking, he answers.

Black Hat: ...fine. I'll indulge in your little activity, under one condition.

The Warden: Oh, sure, go right ahead.

Black Hat: No. Foul. Tricks.

The Warden: ...oh, o- okay, yeah, sure, never intended on pulling any of those, heh...

-

After a round of choosing their respective teams and a few minutes of wandering, they all arrive at the Fight City colosseum. Jared sits on the Warden's shoulder, as he himself is still in his shrunken form.

The Warden: Welp, Jared, you got the list of teams?

Jared: I got it right here...

-

[Team Black Hat]

Leader: Black Hat

Fighters:

- Dr. Flug

- Demencia

- 505

- Izzy

- Vapor

- Earth

- Dura

- Quack

- French

- Elajios

- Jose

- Ivan

- Aiden

- Bunny

Trump Card: ???

[Team The Warden]

Leader: The Warden

Fighters:

- Jared

- Alice

- Jailbot

- The Doctor

- Ash

- Pee-Dee

- Jackknife

- Gary & Bird

- Star

- Scarecrow

- Akumya

- Chungie

- Rei

Trump Card: ???

[Neutral Party]

- Random

- Matthew Anderson

- Jordan Peele

- Mike Myers

- Shoutmon

- ???

Trump Card: ???

-

Jared: Uh, sir, who are those question marks in the Neutral Party?

The Warden: Oh, those are some surprise appearances.

Jared: Isn't that a little terrifying?

The Warden: No idea what you're on about. So, are you ready?

Black Hat: I suppose I am.

The Warden: Then let Fight City... begin!

The inmates immediately ran at each other, ready to fight for something that doesn't impact them in the slightest.

Jackknife promptly jumps into the opposing crowd and punches the first person he sees the in the face, that forst person being someone by the name of Earth.

Earth: Oh, what the fuck?

Jackknife tries throwing another punch, yet the attempt is blocked this time around. In retaliation, Earth kicks him in the abdomen, then in the face. Before he can do any further damage, he feels someone tapping his shoulder.

Earth: Who the hell-

Behind him was Star, who smacked the shit out of Earth.

Star: Stop trying to kill my teammates!

Earth: ...that's literally what we're supposed to do.

Star: Fair point. However,-

Star kicks Earth in the stomach, catching him off-guard. As Star was retreaing his leg, Earth grabbed it, lifted his enemy up using it, and threw him away. Star ends up landing on top of Jackknife, who is crushed to death by Star's overweight crocodile build.

Jackknife was eliminated by Star!

Star swiftly stands up, but before he can inspect the body, Izzy pushes him away. The rat pulls out an empty syringe out of his pocket and tries to stab Star, but the croc manages to hold his arm back.

Not too far away from this grisly sight was a tea party, which didn't fit in with the environment in the slightest. Four friends sat around a table, eating ice cream and discussing the single most important topic...

Hello Kitty: Woah, you like cookies too?

Chikn Nuggit: Yeah! They're awesome!

Hello Kitty: This is amazing! I love chocolate chip cookies!

Chikn Nuggit: I love snickerdoodles! They smell very nice!

Bloody Bunny: What about you, Rei?

Rei: As we can see, King Bach has presented a rather large spoon to his friend. The humor in this video stems from the fact that King Bach would like to eat ice cream, but his friend retorts at him, saying he can only have a spoonful, nothing more. Bach then suddenly changes his expression and body language, and reveals that he is, indeed, in possession of a spoon. But not just any spoon, no, it is a massive stainless steel spoon. This is funny because you would never expect someone to just casually be in possession of a massive spoon to eat ice cream with. It is completely unorthodox and uncalled for. This is why the video is so humorous and was put on the 2012 Epic Vine Compilation playlist on YouTube.

Bloody Bunny: ...why do we keep inviting her?

The conversation is interrupted as Dura lands on and breaks the table out of nowhere, causing three of those present to run away. However, Rei just kinda stands there.

Rei: The hell was that for?

Dura: I've come to beat your ass.

Rei: You'll die trying.

Dura throws a punch, which Rei ducks under. She then jumps up into Dura abdomen, knocking him back a bit. The guy who looks an awful lot like Featherine crams around his ppcket for something... and pulls out a very confused Bunny.

Bunny: Wait, where am I?

Bunny's question isn't answered before he's thrown at Rei, who, like before, just ducks under it. The bunny is now headed straight for The Warden, who, upon seeing this, holds his cane like a golf club.

The Warden: Fore!

As soon as Bunny comes close enough, The Warden whacks him back where he came from. He bumps into Dura, knocking them both to the ground. Dura is quick to stand back up though, and throws Bunny over his shoulder. He jumps into the air and heads straight for Rei.

Dura: You want a piece of me?

Rei: No... only a spoonful.

Rei pulls a comically large spoon out of her ass [figuratively], much to Dura's shock. Before he can do anything, he's smacked by the utensil and flung far away, much to both The Warden's surprise and annoyance.

The Warden: Hey, that was my move!

Unlike most other inmates, Famous Supercriminal And Genius Billionare Playboy Matthew Anderson walks out of the cell in a very proper manner. Dressed in his best black suit and holding a martini in his hand, he stood on one of the higher floors, didn't intend on interacting much with the fight and merely watching it.

These intentions are ruined when a prisoner by the name of Random broke a glass bottle over his head. The billionare fell over the railing upon the impact, landing face-first on the floor.

Random: No exceptions, jackass!

Before the rich guy can properly stand up, he's run over by a racecar, which only existed to run him over. Already having been injured, he's then walked on by a scared 505, who's weight broke his entire back. On his last dying breath, he tries lifting his head, only for Vincent Ludwig from The Naked Gun to crush it because his death inspired Matthew's.

Famous Supercriminal And Genius Billionare Playboy Matthew Anderson was eliminated by Vincent Ludwig!

Upon hearing that name, The Warden teleports to Matthew Anderson's corpse to face Vincent himself.

The Warden: Who are you? You're not on the list!

Vincent Ludwig: I am.

The Warden: No you aren't.

Vincent Ludwig: I'm going to kill you!

The Warden simply snaps Vincent out of existence before he can do anything.

Vincent Ludwig was eliminated by The Warden!

While The Warden is distracted, Black Hat sneaks up behind him, trying to kill him with his claws. Before he can do so, he feels something robotic gripping his leg. He looks behind himself to see Jailbot with a mischievous expression, or at least as mischievous as a robot can get.

Once he's grabbed the villain by the leg, he spins him around very rapidly, until letting him go at a random point. The momentum sends Black Hat flying, but by sticking his cane into the ground, he isn't flung too far.

Spectating from a distance, the Swedish Twins gleefully watch the onslaught, gaining great entertainment from it.

Swedish Twin #1: It seems The Warden has hosted a sensational event.

Swedish Twin #2: It is a pure feast for the eyes.

As they're talking, another pair of twins shows up behind them; French, full name FrenchHoaxWide, and French, full name FrenchHoaxWhy'dHeAppearTwice.

French Twin #1: I see that you two aren't fighting at all.

The twins turn around, a bit dumbfounded.

French Twin #2: This calls for a revolution!

Both twins get into a fighting position, and soon engage in a bout of fisticuffs. They're very equally matched, nobody having a significant advantage over the other, so they continue fighting...

The Doctor runs about on the battlefield, distraught with the mass amount of violence going on. So, in an attempt to save himself, he pulls a microphone out of his pocket and yells an order into it.

The Doctor: Release Specimen 7!

As soon as he spoke those words, a jumbotron above the arena announced the new special fighter.

Jumbotron: Forged from the DNA of your Superjail staff comes a creature whose sole purpose is to destroy, whose only recognizable emotion is... domination. Domination. Specimen 7.

Not long after, a horrid amalgamation of the Superjail staff's DNA is released, just what The Doctor ordered. It begins running around, looking for any potential target.

Two famous movie stars watch this from a distance with absolute horror on their faces.

Jordan Peele: Mike, we have to Get Out (2016) before it gets Us (2019)! We have to stay calm though.

Mike Myers: Am I supposed to say "That's okay, I don't mind"?

Jordan Peele: Nope (2022).

Mike Myers: ...you know what? Save yourself, I'll try to distract this beast.

Jordan Peele: Wait!

Before he can be stopped, Mike walked up to the specimen.

Mike Myers: What are you doing in my swamp?

The disgusting concoction turns to stare at the comedian, then screeches at him.

Mike Myers: I'll get you, and it'll look like a bloody accident!

Specimen 7 begins slowly raising it's baton, at which point Mike realizes he simply wasn't built for this.

Mike Myers: Uh oh... I regret making Love Guru!

Once he's finished talking, the creature swings the baton back down, crushing the comedian.

Mike Myers was eiliminated by Specimen 7!

On the other side of the arena, two teams were having an argument. Akumya and Chungie had found a rocket launcher in the middle of the ground, but Izzy, Elajios, Jose and Aiden claimed it as their own, much to the other team's annoyance.

Akumya: You can't just take out stuff only because you're more than us!

Izzy: Oh, yeah? Why not? We clearly deserve it.

Elajios: You could try and fight us over it, just know that you're doomed!

Chungie: Dude, we found this first, it belongs to us, what's so difficult about that?

Jose: "Oh, we found it first" my ass. It's ours for the taking!

Aiden: Yeah! And only I'll be able to carry it!

Izzy: Wait, what?

Elajios: We can at least share-

Aiden: Hey, I called dibs on using it alone. You should've done that sooner.

Jose: It doesn't work like that!

Akumya: You think they're distracted?

Chungie: Yeah, meaning the launcher is all ours-

Before they can take it, Jordan Peele snatches it right from them. As they're about to complain, the get knocked to the side by Specimen 7, who was in pursuit of the director.

Once he believes himself to have gotten enough distance, Jordan turns around and aims the rocket launcher at the specimen. He fires it, yet nothing comes out for a few seconds. Both confused and annoyed, Jordan checked the front of the launcher, only to find he had it turned the wrong way.

The rocket finally launched, and with it being aimed behind Jordan, he's launched into the sky, dropping his launcher, and landing right into the mouth of Specimen 7, who tears him apart and devours him disturbingly fast.

Jordan Peele was eliminated by Specimen 7!

Not far away from the scene, Scarecrow was running away from three members of the opposing team - Vapor, Quack and Ivan - when he spotted the same rocket launcher Peele had dropped. Taking the chance, he swiftly picks it up and aims it at his enemies.

Scarecrow: Stop what you're doing, or I'll shoot!

Vapor: Oh no, a rocket launcher, I'm so scared.

Quack: Good luck trying to hit us all with one rocket!

Ivan: I wish you the best of luck too, I hope you're able to do it!

Quack: Wait, no, I didn't literally wish him luck.

Ivan: Oh, my bad.

Quack had a point. There was no chance he was gonna be able to hit all of them at once, so he had to think of a different solution. While thinking, he spots Shoutmon walking gleefully across the ground. Taking the opportunity, he grabs the small creature and holds the launcher to it's head.

Scarecrow: If you don't leave me alone, this... whatever it is will get it!

Quack: No, not the cute creature!

Ivan: Anything but the cute creature!

Vapor: Don't you think a fucking rocket launcher may be a bit overkill?

Scarecrow: Do you think I planned to hold someone hostage? I gotta make do with what I got.

Vapor: Fair.

Scarecrow is about to fire a rocket, but just as he pulls the trigger, nothing comes out. He checks inside to find that there's no jammed rocket, there's just no rocket to get jammed in the first place.

Vapor: ...so it doesn't even work-

The oreo-headed warrior is interrupted by the rocket launcher violently exploding due to a malfunction, sending Scarecrow flying in the opposite direction and destroying Shoutmon.

Shoutmon was eliminated by Malfunctioning Rocket Launcher!

Scarecrow: Oh come on, I didn't even get the kill?

-

The pair of twins were still fighting one another in the exact same monotonous combat style, something the Swedish ones have noticed themselves.

Swedish Twin #1: This back and forth is becoming monotonous.

Swedish Twin #2: I say we "spice it up" a little.

Swedish Twin #1: Combaticus?

Swedish Twin #2: Combaticus.

The two twins swiftly leave for a bit, leaving the French Twins alone.

French Twin #1: Hey, where are they going?

French Twin #2: I have no idea.

Almost immediately after their departure, the jumbotron announces a new combatant.

Jumbotron: Perfection. Dominance. The ultimate in fighting biotechnology. Combaticus.

Soon enough, a small blue man resembling the Swedish Twins appears alongside, well, the Swedish Twins, as all of the inmates start surrounding this strange new fighter.

Swedish Twin #1: Your time to shine.

Swedish Twin #2: Humiliate them.

One of the inmates approaches the dwarven warrior, clearly not intimidated.

Random: Am I supposed to take this pipsqueak seriously? Let's fight!

Random takes on an old-timey fighting stance, then gets immediately punched straight through the head, killing him instantly.

Pee-Dee: Owch, that's gotta hurt.

Combaticus faces the rest of the inmates, who all assume a combat-ready stance and charge into battle. Combaticus stands there, willing to take on any fool believing themselves to be worthy.

Aiden tries to deliver an uppercut, but his arm is grabbed halfway through, torn off, and used as a tool to beat him to death. As Akumya runs towards the blue guy, the arm is flung right into his chest, impaling him on it.

Quack tries sneaking up from behind and grabbing Combaticus in a chokehold, but the warrior notices his presence and grabs him under the shoulders from behind, then slams his head into the ground.

The French Twins appear on either side of Combaticus, and start chucking him around like a Pong game featuring a ragdoll. Eventually, Combaticus gets a hold of both of their arms. He grabs the back of their heads and slams them together, killing them both.

Ash, Pee-Dee and Gary run at him together, employing the French Twins' strategy of more equals better, only with one more person. Combaticus aims to attack Ash first, but the coward grabs Gary and uses him as a meatshield, causing the mute to be eviscerated in a barrage of punches.

Pee-Dee starts biting his leg, for he couldn't do much else in a combat sense, and is swiftly grabbed by Combaticus. As Ash tries running away, he is grabbed as well. After a few seconds of doing nothing, Combaticus grabs Pee-Dee and performs a Hancock reference on him and Ash.

Bunny runs in circles in a panic unril he's grabbed by Combaticus and shaped into a bowling ball. Seeing Chikn Nuggit, Hello Kitty and Bloody Bunny still running around, he aims his make-shift bowling ball at them and throws it. Bunny crashes straight into the group, gaining Combaticus a strike.

The Warden and Black Hat watch this from a distance, both equally diappointed.

The Warden: Goddangit, stupid twins always have to ruin Fight City!

Black Hat: ...I believe I have a solution.

The Warden: Wait, really?

While they talked about a potential solution, Combaticus had gotten both Earth and Vapor into a chokehold. Despite their best attempts to flee, they eventually run out of breath and fall unceremoniously.

Scarecrow and Izzy engage in a bit of involuntary teamwork, as in Scarecrow tries throwing Izzy at Combaticus. The small man simply catches him and throws him back at a much faster rate. They both impact and practically explode from the force.

Random, Aiden, Akumya, Quack, The French Twins, Ash, Pee-Dee, Gary, Bunny, Hello Kitty, Chikn Nuggit, Bloody Bunny, Earth, Vapor, Scarecrow and Izzy were eliminated by Combaticus!

Jose and Elajios have given up trying to fight Combaticus altogether and have opted for exiting the arena, but Jailbor stops them before they can do so. The robot grabs both of them and stuffs them inside his robot body. After a few seconds, a hatch opens, and a cube consisting of Jose and Elajios pops out.

Jose and Elajios were eliminated by Jailbot!

The remaining five - Star, Ivan, Rei, Dura and Chungie - stand before Combaticus as he slowly approaches them. They all collectively back off from the one who killed all of their fellow inmates. Suddenly, they hear a loud screech from above, and look up to find Specimen 7 hovering above. Before they can move, the abomination lands on them.

Star, Ivan, Rei, Dura and Chungie were eliminated by Specimen 7.

During all of this, The Warden and Black Hat had been speaking about the solution to the bire-sized problem. Let's pick up where we left off...

The Warden: Wait, really?

Black Hat: *ahem* Demencia!

Almost in an instant, Demencia appears by the villain's side, ready to take whatever orders he tasks her with.

Demencia: Hello, Sir Black Hat! How can I help?

Black Hat pulls the Evil Ray out of his pocket and hands it to her.

Black Hat: Push that button.

Demencia: Oh, with pleasure!

Demencia ecstatically takes the Evil Ray and initiates it, causing the most evil thing she can think of to appear...

The Warden: Wow...

As with all prior special entries, this one is announced over the Jumbotron.

Jumbotron: Black Hat? No, Black Hot! But the villainy? He lacks not! His biceps can bisect any tyke that tries to fight them! His rock hard abs can crush wooden logs, heavy boulders, and the competition! Black Hot!

An extremely buff version of Black Hat confidently strolls into the arena and makes his way to Combaticus and Specimen 7.

Black Hot: I suggest you two make this quick, I don't have much time before I must apply my daily evil lotion!

Specimen 7 immediately tries charging at Black Hot, only to be punched in the face and knocked back. The bodybuilder grabs the baton from the Frankenstein's creature and starts bashing it repeatedly until he feels something rugging his shorts.

Combaticus stood there, and punched Black Hot in the leg, which he didn't seem to feel. He tries whacking the dwarf with the baton to, but each attempt is swiftly dodged by the small man. Eventually, Combaticus gets a hold of the baton himself and jerks it away, knocking Black Hot to the ground in the process.

Specimen 7 charges at Combaticus, who was still wielding it's baton. It tries biting him, but he keeps backflipping away. After several failed attempts, the amalgamation gets a hold of Combaticus and slams him into the floor multiple times.

The Warden watches this event from afar, finally seeing that Combaticus has met his match.

The Warden: It's a beautiful thing, isn't it? Hey, where'd you go?

The Warden frantically looks around for Black Hat, yet he isn't found anywhere. Suddenly, his face appears on the jumbotron, cackling mischievously.

The Warden: There you are! Say, how about we-

Black Hat: You fool...

The Warden: What? What do you mean?

Black Hat: Do you really think we're in cahoots now? I'll inform you that this isn't the case.

The Warden: Well, I should've figured.

Black Hat: Let's end this. Once and for all.

A black void-like liquid flows out of the screen and in front of The Warden, where it then turns into Black Hat. He tries swinging his claws at The Warden, but his shapeshifting allows him to easily dodge them all.

Mark grabs his cane and tries using it as some sort of weapon against his opponent, yet that idea falls flat very quickly when Black Hat instantly gets a hold of it himself. The villain tries tearing away the cane, but The Warden won't let go, no matter how much force is applied.

Dr. Flug watches the fight from a distance and believes it's time to step in himself. He pulls out his shrink ray and aims it at The Warden, yet just as he's about to shoot, Alice smacks it out of his hand with her baton.

Alice: No foul tricks!

As she tries smto swing her baton again, Demencia jumps onto her back and starts holding her in a chokehold.

Alice: Hey, get off of me!

Alice swings the baton over her head to try and strike Demencia with it while the insane woman just giggles maniacally. As Alice stumbles across the ground trying not to fall, she accidentally steps on the shrink ray she knocked out of Flug's hand.

Jared, who was still shrunken by this point, grows back to his normal size. He uses this as a chance to save Alice by jumping onto Demencia's back and holding her in a chokehold too. This works surprisingly fast, as Demencia quickly lets go of Alice and falls to the floor, although she mostly lands on Jared.

In the meantime, Black Hat and The Warden do what they had been doing for most of the fight; Black Hat tried to strike The Warden with his claws or laser, and The Warden's shapeshifting allowed him to evade it all. Black Hat was also starting to notice the repetition.

Black Hat: Doesn't it feel bland?

The Warden: What does?

Black Hat: We keep doing the same thing, not a hint of variety... let's change up the formula.

Suddenly, everything starts getting messed up as Black Hat began to warp reality to his will. The ground started shaking, and The Warden couldn't even use his cane to try and stand up straight anymore.

The employees felt this too, as everyone started trembling and falling down to the floor, except for Jailbot, since he could fly. Naturally, Jailbot's digital face displayed a happy emotion.

The Warden: What the hell are you doing?

Black Hat: This place was never yours to command, Warden. You're far too incompetent.

Instead of the fear he had come to expect from his victims, the Warden started laughing hysterically, pissing off Black Hat quite a lot.

Black Hat: What's so funny now, you imbecile?

The Warden: Really? You think you're in control?

Slowly, The Warden started growing to unreal heights, just short enough to not break through the roof of Fight City.

The Warden: You think you can take my Superjail from me? You f###ing fool!

The Warden grows massive fireballs in his palms and throws each one at Black Hat. The first one manages to hit him and knock him quite far back, but he knows to roll out of the way just in time for the second one. He swiftly turns into a dark mist.

The Warden: Where did you go now? Fire got a little intense for you?

Black Hat reappears besides the big three trump cards of the long gone teams. Using his warping powers, he starts fusing them together, their bodies shifting into grisly positions and morphing into one massive abomination.

Using telekinesis, he throws the ball of morphing dysmorphia to The Warden, who instinctively catches it. Due to the fusing still taking place, The Warden's hands slowly start being intergrated as well. He notices soon enough though, and chops off his hands using shapeshifting so that it can't spread any further, then grows two new ones.

The Warden: Do you really think you can defeat me?

Black Hat: Not a doubt in mind! Do you know how many other, much stronger people I've easily crushed? You're nothing to me!

The Warden: See, there's the issue; You've crushed people. I'm above those people, I am above life as you know it, I'm the f###ing Warden of Superjail!

As he says this, he starts to shapeshift, but not into anything normal, no... he was becoming the universe. With a mighty laugh, he takes his otherworldly arm and tries striking down Black Hat once and for all.

Black Hat, however, had other plans. Using his powers, he started to shift the universe that is The Warden into one, causing him a ton of nigh-insufferable pain. Even with his extraterrestrial body being forced to become one, he finds the strength to force his arm down and towards Black Hat.

The villain has none of this, and starts to accelerate the shift to a severe degree. The Warden is being torn from the inside out and from the outside in, his mighty hand headed straight for the culprit. Black Hat desperately tries to slow down the arm enough so that it can get absorbed into the blank space The Warden was turning into.

The Warden: Do you think you can keep me at bay forever?

Black Hat: Long enough for you to fall, Warden!

The Warden: You will not be there to experience it!

Black Hat: I've been there since Day One, I don't think I'll leave anytime soon!

The Warden: I guess I'll have to force you then!

Black Hat: You will die trying, Warden, just like everyone else who dared to oppose me!

The Warden: I'm the one who pulls the strings here!

Black Hat: You're no ruler, Warden, I lead the way!

The Warden: I'm the...

Black Hat: One in...

Black Hat & The Warden In Unison: CONTRRROOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL!

Black Hat's reality warping and The Warden's sheer might clashed together in one massive implosion, one that reality itself is not able to keep up with. The proportions start shifting and changing on their own, time feels like a mere side-thought, and all sense is lost as meaning becomes meaningless.

Then, suddenly.

Everything turned black.

Post-Fight[]

The streets were as dirty as they had always been. Trash was littered across the entire area, and not a speck of beauty had been preserved. This was the normal world, however, everyone's used to this already.

On said streets, a man in a purple suit suddenly jerks up, having woken up from what appears to be a nightmare. He looks upon himself, and sees that he's covered in dirt and rubbish.

He promptly brushes it off and empties his trash-filled top hat before putting it on. Lastly, he picks up his cane and stands himself up, then heads for a destination only he knows.

Results[]

K.O!

Time Judge: Do you now see the consequences your actions have on the fabric of reality?

Boomstick: I don't get it, how did this happen? I thought-

Wiz: I believe I know how. You see, Black Hat and The Warden we're extremely evenly matched!

Boomstick: Oh, yeah, that's true! These two shared many powers with one another, each of them being similarly effective.

Wiz: And even the abilities that were exclusive to them either didn't gain them a significant enough advantage to net them a win or were evened out by a weakness.

Boomstick: By all accounts, this should've been a tie, if not for The Warden's secret trump card; The real world.

Wiz: At the end of The Dream Machine, we can see a man dressed like The Warden in the middle of the street, having woken up from the nightmare that was the episode.

Boomstick: It's highly implied that the events of Superjail! all take place in that man's head, meaning The Warden technically exists on a higher plane!

Wiz: So, while these two incredibly powerful fighters went out in what should have been a tie...

Boomstick: The Warden had one more trick up his sleeve that put this criminal on death row!

Wiz: The winner is The Warden.

Black Hat [Loser]:

+ More combat experience

+ More advanced reality warping

= Almost every power they share

- Worse regeneration

- Less advanced shapeshifting

- Too arrogant for his own good

- Doesn't exist on a higher plane

The Warden [Winner]:

+ Better regeneration

+ More advanced shapeshifting

+ Exists on a higher plane

= Almost every power they share

- Less combat experience

- Less advanced reality warping

- Insanity can hold him back

Time Judge: Wrong!

Wiz: Wait, what?

Boomstick: What do you mean "wrong"?

Time Judge: There is no winner in this scenario! You caused the death of reality as we know it, and you two continue to treat this as some game!

Boomstick: This is literally our job, you dipstick!

Wiz: Yeah, that's kinda the whole reasen we're-

Time Judge: Silence! Wizard and Boomstick of Death Battle, by the powers vested in us, in the name of Time Court, we hereby find you...

(Various flying creatures surround their cages. They stare at the two men, knowing exactly what fate they're about to meet. And it only takes a single word.)

Time Judge: GUILTY!

Next Time On Random Death Battles...[]

Trivia[]

Made by Ctpeyton

Previous Battle: Mordecai & Rigby vs Ian & Anthony

Credit goes to DBE Blog for this matchup's research! Helped alot!

from reddit, i did not make this
from reddit, i did not make this
Made by WALRUSWIZARD800000
used on DBE Blogs
used by r/DeathBattleMatchups on Reddit
made by MonkeyBoi9005 on DeviantArt
used by r/DeathBattleMatchups on Reddit
used by r/DeathBattleMatchups on Reddit
ShigarakiBoi (SHIGARAKI SWEEP!!!) on X used this image
used on Amino Amino by not me
made by PIIIIIINIINN on DeviantArt

INTRODUCTION[]

Wiz: Black Hat--Founder of the Black Hat Organization and the most feared villain of all time.

Boomstick: And The Warden--Founder of Superjail

Wiz: Crime is one of the most common selfish acts in humanity. It brings death, suffering, and misfortune to people's lives. It is something that must be avoided in order for citizens to have a prosperous life.

Boomstick: It falls onto the forces of justice to take action. Most simple is locking the criminals in jail. But it doesn't always end that way.

Wiz: Evil still roams free in this world, and more suffering is made while maintaining it. And that's where these two opposing forces meet: the owner of the largest prison in Dimension 5612 versus the owner of the largest villain network in the multiverse.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!

BOTH: Sponsored by the Black Hat Organization!

DEATH BATTLE turns Villainous with Black HAT around![]

Wiz: Since the dawn of time, there have been two concepts present in our world: good and evil, both functioning as a perfect balance. But there has been a long-standing question about the origin of evil. Where did it come from? Who or what created it? Well, it’s simple--among all the creatures in the universe, there is only one who has the answer: Lord Black Hat.

PERSONAL INFORMATION:

Real Name: [DANGER LEVEL: CRITICAL]
Species: Unknown | Embodiment of All Evilness
Age: Ancient | Has existed for many, MANY eons
Height: 2.03 m | 6.66 ft (with the hat)
Founder of the Black Hat Organization
Likes: Drinking harmful liquids, Suffering, Tormenting Alan Ituriel, Hats
Dislikes: Heroes, Tablets, Demencia’s “love”, Anything cute or good
Hobbies: Reading the newspaper, Golfing, Playing TF2, Melting puppies
[Other Names: Lord Black Hat, BH, El Charro Negro, Acq' Aht, Boss, The Master.]
[Plays the pipe organ & violin (strings made from cat guts).]
[Favorite book is the Necronomicon.]
[Owns Area 51, Kasnia, Fazbear Entertainment, CARTOON NETWORK (formally), the body of Aldo Maldonado.]
[If he ever found an abandoned baby, he would... try to eat it.]

Boomstick: Not much is known about "his" own origins. All we should know is that “he” has existed before life was around. Only known purpose: cause chaos and destruction wherever “he” went.

Wiz: No hero could stop Lord Black Hat. All who attempted perished. Nothing stopped the Dark Lord from conquering innumerable planets, enslaving countless civilizations, OR destroying both, whether on his own or with an army. It was no surprise he became legendary in the villain world before retiring. Some think he’s a myth.

Others praise him as a deity.

To all villains who begged for his help, HE IS THE ARCHITECT OF THE PERFECT CONQUEST!

But to us, Lord Black Hat is the founder of the Black Hat Organization.

frameless
frameless

Boomstick: Need the necessary weapons, ships, robots, powers, ANY possible resources to conquer/destroy the world, and/or PULVERISE the heroes in your way? Look no further!

frameless]]
frameless]]
frameless]]
frameless]]

BHO was designed to fulfill the most putrid desires of the most despicable beings in the universe and even the CARTOON NETWORK MULTIVERSE!

All they ask in return is your life, your will, and your soul.

(Wiz uses a tv remote to switch the television, showing Dr. Flug in his lab working on a Black Hat-bot. He looks up and realizes he is being recorded, visibly feeling awkward.)

Wiz: BHO’s totally not forced into service lead scientist Dr. Kenning Flugslys, Dr. Flug for short, is the mad mastermind behind the Organization's weaponry. Some of which were tested and approved by Lord Black Hat, himself.

Dr. Flug: Uh… HOLA? [awkwardly laughs] Wiz, do you mind? I’m kinda in the middle of something.

Wiz: Of course. But this is a BHO-sponsored episode. And you know your contract with the Boss binds you to-

Dr. Flug: Alright! Alright! What do you have me talking about?

Wiz: Black Hat’s arsenal that YOU invented.

Dr. Flug: Oh! Why didn’t you just say so?

WEAPONRY:

Plasma Cannon
Anti-Gravity Device
Evil Ray
Shrink/Growth Ray
The Foul Flower
Medusa’s Head
Quetzalcóalt Head
Pipe Organ
Dog Whistle
Black Hat Magisword
Amnesia Magisword
BH Mansion Security System
Libro Completamente Inofensivo <Completely Harmless Book>

Dr. Flug: Well *AHEM* I have been able to channel an anti-gravitational wave in the form of this small device. With just the press of a button, the anti-gravity device reverses the gravitational polarity of objects in a range of 8 to 30 square meters, causing whatever is present to "float" until the button is pressed again.

thumb]]
frameless]]

This next one is what I like to call “THE MATERIALIZING RAY OF EVIL!”--a device requested by Senior Black Hat, capable of materializing the most evil thing you can imagine.

thumb]]
thumb]]

As an example, for The Boss, himself.

Demencia… [shutters]... Black Hot…

I was also commissioned into inventing a smaller version of the Organization's own shrink ray, so I took advantage of that and added a switch to be flipped down to grow the target back to normal.

thumb]]
thumb]]

But this… THIS experiment is one of the most important in my career as an evil genius. During my youth as a student at the Black Hat Institute of Villainy and Criminality, I dedicated myself to researching and studying how human emotions could be altered. Along the way, I dabbled in zoology and botany. In the end, I managed to create The Foul Flower--a creature capable of inducing the emotion of anger and hatred. Well, except Senior Black Hat, of course. He LITERALLY doesn't have a heart.

Boomstick: Black Hat even owns Medusa’s Head to power statue-related machines and rents out a Quetzalcóalt head for villains to incinerate heroes with. His dog whistle mind-controls those who hear it into acting like, well, dogs.

His business also offers these magical swords called “magiswords”. Remember that show? One of which erases heroes’ memories.

Wiz: Lord Black Hat’s own magisword he created can destroy a planet located in another solar system, the lightning bolt that did such traveling at speeds of 33 million times the speed of light.

But there is no rule saying not even the most powerful of villains can have a classic robot army.

TOOLS

Organization Bots:
- Hatbot-Sentinels
- Hatbot-Lers
- Hat-Drones
- Cam-Bot
Ghosts & Demons:
- Penitents
- Beggar
- Vagabond
- Marauder
- Wanderers
- Rambler
- Poltergeist
- Wight
CN Hero Bots
FNAF Animatronics [YES. SERIOUSLY.]
BH0 Staff: Dr. Flug, Demencia, 5.0.5

Dr. Flug: Known as HAT-BOTs, they’ve been a big hit for the Organization! Some of them, however, have been part of the mansion staff for a long time as personal henchmen. Each category has different models for different uses, such as the Hatbot-Sentinel, built with reinforced armor, shield and armor plating, laser eye, sharp claws, and the enhanced strength perfect for wrestling.

thumb]]
thumb]]

The Hatbot-Ler are primarily servants. But they are designed with retractable claws that shift into a magnet or shield, along with their wheels being spiked (I know, GENIUS) that can shift into a rocket. An emergency self-destruct is implanted inside their heads. I sometimes see them activate even if there aren’t any enemies around...

thumb]]
thumb]]

Wiz: Aw! You even gave them empowering costumes, too!

Dr. Flug: Yes. And the Hat-Drones are for security purposes, even in battle.

thumb]]
thumb]]

Boomstick: Hey, Dr. Frog?

Dr. Flug: It's "FLUG".

Boomstick: Does Black Hat actually own FREAKING FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S?!

Dr. Flug: Fazbear Entertainment? YEP! Ever watched our Toontubers channel? The Boss selected two heroes from the RS universe to test his new killer Animatronics. This means he pretty much owns all the Animatronics you see in “Ultimate Custom Night” as you all call it.

Wiz: Huh? What's that? Some to none of you watching trust robotic assistance? Well, thankfully, the Black Hat Organization offers its own group of villains to personally deal with your heroic problems. Dr. Flug, in fact, is one of those villains!

Dr. Flug[]

ARSNEAL

Hatbot-Sentinel Control Panel
Hat-Ship
Combat Suit
Disintegration Gun
Destructor X
Flamethrower
Dart Gun
Future Portal Gun
Omnitrix
Vaccine
Anubis' Head
Universal Remote

Dr. Flug: I am more than a scientist who has has committed 82,602 crimes like hacking into the most secure and advanced systems known to mankind! I am Senior Black Hat's right-hand man who has complete control over my technology, including the function of MY robots!

thumb]]
thumb]]
thumb]]

I am the one who has created all the weapons you've seen across the multiverse, including (but not limited to) Mojo Jojo's Anubis Head, which actually turns people into dogs and controls their minds, and Rob's Universal Remote, which controls reality itself, including speeding up, slowing down, or stopping time, open portals to the void, rewind a character to make them age backwards or TURN THEM OFF, and even change the channel. My "Future Gun" can forcefully send annoying pests forward in time.

I even made my own Omnitrix--an alien device capable of copying and assimilating the DNA of any extraterrestrial species, giving its user the power to transform into that alien. My version captured the DNA of cartoon characters and a Dalek. Though after an... accident with a client... I needed to destroy it. Destroying ANYTHING is easy with my Destructor X.

180x180px]]
thumb]]

thumb]]
thumb]]

Boomstick: You sure tha-

Dr. Flug: NO. It's not just a blender. Before you ask, YES. I can fight on my own.

Wiz: From one underestimated scientist to another: no doubt.

Demencia[]

Boomstick: Next to the Organization's brains is its brawns--Demencia! This lizard/madwoman hybrid is a natural hand-to-hand fighter, having faced countless heroes both on her team and on her own. She defeated the Crystal Gems from Steven Universe, including Garnet, who could catch Steven at warp travel going 5.8 trillion times the speed of light.

Wiz: She's the "annoying pest" Dr. Flug sent to the future. But that just allowed her to effortlessly take over the world.

Boomstick: And she still isn't getting married to the Boss.

CRAZY POWERS (LOL)

Hammerspace Hair
Enhanced Senses
Genius Intellect
Enhanced Agility & Acrobatics
Wall-Crawling
Fourth-Wall Awareness & Plot Manipulation
Saiyan Transformation

Dr. Flug: Demencia's hair is so wild, it ignores the physics of a three-dimensional Universe. I'm saying I'm always finding things in there regardless of their size.

Boomstick: But not too far off even without context since Demencia can attack the narrator and take over the show! She can even become SUPER SAIYAN! WHAT???

Dr. Flug: Don't ask. I regret even giving her the brains to solve math problems before me...

5.0.5[]

thumb]]
thumb]]
thumb]]

Dr. Flug: But I don't regret creating THIS! PROJECT 5.0.5 was originally designed to be an evil, violence-thirsty beast, but instead, I ended up with this-

5.0.5 (in the background): Bawr bawbaw-bawbawbaw!

Dr. Flug: Not now, my beautiful, chubby boy, daddy is working ♡ AHEM...

ABILITIES

Increased resistance & durability
Accelerated Regeneration capacity
Increased strength
Emotion Manipulation via flower

Having been commissioned to create an immortal monster, 5.0.5 is able to withstand heavy attacks with no apparent damage; no matter the injury, 5.0.5 has the ability to repair himself. I have to admit, having him on the team has really gotten me through the hard times.

Wiz: Hm... Might be the flower on his head releasing some form of dopamine or endorphins.

Black Hat analysis continues[]

Wiz: But anyway, for the moment we've all dreaded for! We’ve covered the underlings, now we can talk about the ultimate powers of the ultimate villain, himself!

Wiz & Dr. Flug: Our Lord-

(The screen glitches before showing the smiling Black Hat strangling Dr. Flug.)

BLACK HAT: BLACK HAT!

(Wiz is in awe at the sight of the dark lord, while Boomstick is visibly scared.)

Boomstick: Uhm… hey… Welcome back to Death Battle…

BLACK HAT: Greetings viewers. No need to fear YET. I’m just here to make sure these two buffoons don’t explain my analysis to you incorrectly like the last time I’ve been here.

Wiz: O-Of course. Very sorry for the errors shown, sir. We thank your company for providing us more information to work with.

(Black Hat lets go of Flug, allowing him to catch his breath before he collapses.)

BLACK HAT: Presume.

ABSOLUTE POWER!

Immortality
- Abstract Existence
  - Omnipresence
Laser Eye
Teleportation
- BFR
Possession
Corruption
Immersion
Blood Manipulation
Conceptual Manipulation
Dream Manipulation
Fear Manipulation
Life Manipulation
- Necromancy
Mind Manipulation
- Madness Manipulation
Soul Manipulation
Spatial Manipulation
- Portal Creation
  - Dimensional Travel
  - Time Travel
Limited Time Manipulation
Power Bestowal
Pyrokinesis
Umbrakinesis
Telekinesis
Technopathy
- Hacking
Sealing
Shapeshifting
- Size Manipulation
- Body Control
- Transmutation
Summoning
Existence Erasure
Subjective Reality
4th Wall Awareness
Red Eclipse
Acidic Vomit

Boomstick: [clears throat] W-Well to get the boring stuff out the way, the Boss can shoot a laser from his monocle, use the force, and engulf himself in fire from sheer rage that is powerful enough to cause the volcanic eruption of Pompeii, releasing 100,000 times the thermal energy yield of the atomic bombings on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

thumb]]
thumb]]

Black Hat's teleportation is so fast--or just flat-out instant--enough to surprise Frog despite him directly staring at him, and he can dodge lasers even with his eyes closed.

Wiz: The Dark Master can brainwash the weak minds of humanity, rip agonizing portals in the fabric of space, change his form (or that of others) INCLUDING growing to the point of eclipsing planets. In the past, he has either erased or possessed the existence of inferior beings to walk the earth within a physical body.

thumb]]
thumb]]

thumb]]
thumb]]
thumb]]

And of course being the *DARK* Lord, he can command, merge and become shadows.

Lord Black Hat even finds enjoyment in playing with the lines between reality and fiction. So not even your favorite TV shows are safe from him.

Boomstick: Described as a "superior, transcendental” being, even among the dead, BH can pull in various souls beyond the astral plane to serve him.

thumb]]
thumb]]

IF he doesn’t seal them inside shoes or something...

BLACK HAT: [Maniacal laughter]

Boomstick: So yeah, even the most powerful of demons are intimidated by the Boss.

thumb]]
thumb]]

Reasonable seeing as he’s been appearing in my alcohol-induced dreams. Well, it *WAS* a dream–-me swimming in beer–-until it turned into acid…

Wiz: So THAT’s why you’re not drinking today. Thank you, my Lord!

BLACK HAT: Anything for a past client… with the right soul.

…

Boomstick: Wait. Did he just say-

(Black Hat chuckles before switching the screen to a school photo showing a younger-looking Wiz in the middle of a group of other science students, all of which are wearing black caps.)

Wiz: [sighs] Yes. The Evil School of Science was a BHO institute. I covered the down payment of my student loans by giving my soul to HIM.

Boomstick: Mm, makes enough sense.

Wiz: But HEY! Look where I am now! The Master knows a thing or two about handling technology as much as I do by bending the function of surrounding pesky screens and dismembering robots with a glance.

thumb]]
frameless]]

But if that doesn’t impress you enough, he once hacked into both Cartoon Network's X account AND programming AND schedule!

Boomstick: He’s right there, Wiz. No shit he can break the fourth wall.

BLACK HAT: EXACTLY! [growls/groans] I have my hands full with both managing this company and my… “dad”...

I have to come into the real world to baby him like I already do with Flug in HERE. Sponsor for him, narrate his videos, proof-read his writing to make sure it captures MY image PERFECTLY,

PUNCH him if he ever spoiled anything about the show I INSPIRED.

It got to where I needed to imprison him in MY DOMAIN.

Next time he disappoints, I will send him straight down to the Dimension of Ardor.

POWER SCALE:

Tilted his mansion (which houses an endless corridor) while inside a painting
Rage caused the volcanic eruption of Pompeii
Corrupted the sun
Caused a black hole
Created 3335 to infinite realities contained inside his book
The Red Eclipse caused:
- the Tragedy of '91
- an earthquake that made cracks into Hell
- the explosion of the Tonetequi volcano
Is prophesied to destroy all dimensions
Disposed of Kaleb [one of MANY heroes], Aku, the Pops Brothers, the PPG Narrator

Wiz: Not to question your methods, sir. But would it be more funny if you sent him into… THAT book? The one you trapped Kaleb in for what? Four or five years now?

BLACK HAT: Which ant is that? There’s been so many, I’ve lost count.

Boomstick: What Wiz is referring to is Mr. Black Hat’s “COMPLETELY, HARMLESS book”, which contains a maximum of 3553 or presumably infinite dimensions inside, each having their own space-time and MANY horrors to die to. The only way for prisoners to escape this labyrinth is up to the reader. But closing the book will cause time to freeze. Turning back the pages will lock them in time. All the while, a dog is chasing them through the realities to eat them alive. So yeah, yet another reason not to cross the Hat.

(As Black Hat smugs proudly on the screen, Dr. Flug weakly stands back up.)

Dr. Flug: [groans in exhaustion] No kidding. Heroes and villains in our world are scared to lay a finger on my boss. Because they KNOW good and well their inferior power will lose.

Wiz: And why stop there? Remember, the Black Hat Organization has assisted inferior villains' plans from the other Cartoon Network shows.

Wiz: For example, Father from Kids Next Door shot fire straight through Earth.

thumb]]
thumb]]

In the Samurai Jack game, which Genndy Tartakovsky confirmed is canon to the show, Aku created a pocket dimension with visible suns and stars.

Given that he’s been actively sustaining the spaces throughout the levels, this would require 136 quettatons of TNT.

Dr. Flug: But then there’s…

Dr. Flug and BLACK HAT: The disappointment…

BLACK HAT: All that dark power to simply destroy a universe with a clash and he betrayed it for a HUG?!

Howd-you-think-pops-and-anti-pops-turned-out-in-heaven-if-v0-23v4fl9umb1c1

[roars so loud, the screen glitches] FLUG! Finish your part here! I must prepare for this “WARDEN”.

(Black Hat turns into shadow and disappears.)

Dr. Flug: Yes, sénior Black Hat! Folks, all this power of course pales in comparison to the Master’s ultimate destiny.

Boomstick: What? Uh, Frog, I thought the whole point of the Lord’s existence is that there is no point. He’s just evil because that’s what he is, right?

Dr. Flug: Correction: Lord Black Hat is NOT evil, he IS evil.

Boomstick: Uhh…

Wiz: EVIL INCARNATE-–All the evil in the universe, our fears, our nightmares,

our every perception of reality are HIS to exploit and thrive!

O-O-OH! Forget Unicron! Our lord Black Hat is truly the very representation of evil’s concept that the WORTHLESS fool Alan Ituriel unleashed onto our existence! Perfect and absolute darkness that had originated the universal concept of Chaos, and exists for the total destruction of Order!

Dr. Flug: Correcto, Wiz. It is foretold in ancient text Senior Black Hat will inevitably bring destruction to all of existence with the arrival of the infamous Red Eclipse, the signal of the Master’s presence.

Wiz: AH! YES! One of the strangest natural phenomena to have existed dating back to the time of the caves. Curiously, approximately to the period when the super-massive volcano Tonetequi exploded and nearly caused the extinction of all life on earth.

Yet, the celestial doomageddon was recorded during historian Raimundo de Carmendares’ trip to North Africa.

Dr. Flug: We could be more familiar with "The tragedy of '91", where the eclipse could be seen just before the tsunami off the coast of Sumatra. Several survivors witnessed shadows within the huge waves and "screams coming from Hell".

Next time, if the Boss so chooses, he will bring upon The Red Eclipse on all dimensions within the vast multiverse, and fools within eternal night, and unleash its supernatural horrors.

Only the few lucky ones will know they are spared when the Master calls to them.

…

Dr. Flug: Luckily, though, he's fond of the modern world and the terror that’s going around these days, especially from aspiring menaces to society. What fun would be left after destroying it all?

(Wiz and Boomstick are seen smiling while wearing their own black hats–Wiz is wearing a top hat, while Boomstick is wearing a cap.)

Wiz: So don’t let this bleak information detract the benefits of the Black Hat Organization!

Dr. Flug: So if you’ve ever wished to become the next big super villain of YOUR dimension, look no further than the Black Hat Organization! Evil is our business and business is good!

He's the Warden, and you're seeing him on DEATH BATTLE![]

Wiz: Jail. We all know what it is. Some of us appreciate it, some fear it.

Boomstick: Tell me about it. I’m grateful I haven't gotten a DUI yet. Anyway, this place of punishment is where criminals are locked up, secluded from the outside world for the rest of their lives. OR just for a while; just in time for them to learn their lesson and be reintegrated into society.

Wiz: But what if this method isn’t enough? What if someone thought jail doesn’t treat criminals as it should? Releasing or defending dangerous people. Therefore, there’s only one place to put prisoners to ensure they are treated properly, a magical and cheerful place, a place where you return home, a place built under a volcano, a place called-

thumb]]
thumb]]

Boomstick: SUPERJAIL! Founded by a Man known only as “The Warden”.

"ABOUT ME":

Real Name: Mark Davis
Other Names: Sir, Señor Happyhands, Herr Warden, David Wain, Tim Carrington
Birthday: December 25, 1960
Height: 5'11” [without the hat btw]
Species: ??% Human, ??% Shapeshifter, ??% Spanish
Founder, Owner & Warden [LOL] of SuperJail
Born & raised in prison
Likes: Alice, Praise, His face being on everything, Superjail, The (Beautiful) Violence of Superjail
Dislikes: Rebellion, Boredom, Real Jail, Being away from Superjail
Hobbies: Overseeing Superjail, Watching cartoons, Dominating Superjail, HELPING prisoners, HAVING FUN in Superjail

Wiz: As a child, Mark Davis was raised by a sadistic, angry, and cold-hearted prison warden for a father. Inside his father’s prison, he punished criminal and animal, along with being verbally and physically abused. But one day, Davis’ father tripped and fell out a window, ending his life via being caught in a noose. This in turn made Davis the youngest prison owner in the world.

Boomstick: GOOD! Now “Willy-Once-Wonka-Ler” could follow in his father's footsteps, but in his own style by creating the largest, happiest, most colorful, technologically-advanced prison in Dimension 5612 where he could make friends and treat prisoners under his own methods, ensuring they are reformed. Or killed in the process.

Wiz: Yeah, Superjail is a… crazy place to say the least. Slaughter is a daily bread in here. All because of The Warden’s many antics that ironically threaten the peace.

Boomstick: He’s the one who built this prison and its machines. His favorite being Jailbot–-a fully conscious robot capable of dreaming, thinking and feeling emotions

thumb]]
thumb]]

and is in charge of most of the tasks at Superjail, especially bringing back escaped convict Jacknife. He’s a Sci-Fi switchblade army knife, equipped with missiles, machine gun, laser guns, flamethrowers, information analysis, transformations, A F*CKING NUKE, AND SO MUCH GODDAMN MORE!

thumb]]
thumb]]
thumb]]

Wiz: His weapons can harm ghosts, his body can become small nano versions of himself, and he can enter and escape the fictional world, including his own show.

thumb]]
thumb]]

Jailbot is fast enough to fly to a solar system with a pink planet and another with a blue star, even back to earth in a flash past two black holes.

Even if Jailbot is damaged, he can reboot and repair himself in under a minute.

I would almost call Jailbot perfect if it wasn’t for the fact he can run out of battery and be hacked into, such as the time it chased The Warden around to try and kill him.

Boomstick: A reason why The Warden temporarily replaced him with Jailbot 2.0–-a deluxe Apple version of Jailbot filled with the more advanced abilities for completing tasks.

Admittedly, The Warden's attitude was going to get him killed until Jailbot and his older models came to the rescue.

ARSENAL:

Jailbot
- Jailbot 2.0
- Jailbot Prototypes
Sunshine
Dream Machine
Superjail Mecha-Drill
Superjail 64
Growth Serum
Terrorarium
Drugs & Cigarettes
Time Stick
Superjail Security: Buttons, Satellites, Subway Heads, Impenetrable Defense Shield, Robots, LOTS of Guns & missiles, Etc.
Monsters: Mangle Fang, Dragon, SUPERHELL Demons, Specimen 7, Mutants, Etc.
Animals: Winged Centaur, Pony, Etc.
Vehicles: Eye Ship, Jailboat, Race Car, Superjail Bus, Stunt Bike, Airplanes, Helicopters, Etc.
MY BEST FRIENDS: Jared, Alice, The Doctor

Wiz: Speaking of technology betraying the master, The Warden once invented this weather machine named “Sunshine”

which can create tornadoes, rain, lightning, ice, sand, and... radiation clouds that mutate animals, and for some reason stars and rock monsters.

Very strange concepts of weather we have here. But its most strong creations are its thunderstorms that cover all of Superjail, which is the size of a city.

So, Sunshine would have to be generating about 1.62 kilotons of TNT to cover its size.

Boomstick: Instead of boring police officers waiting on towers with sniper rifles, Superjail has robots with guns, lasers, flamethrowers and others. You’ll see them either walking around, coming out of the ground, or flying in space.

Alice[]

Boomstick: BUT there is Alice, Superjail's HUMAN security guard who trained in advanced hand-to-hand combat and strategy, able to easily subdue any prisoner and fight in conditions like total darkness, being outnumbered, extremely injured, against aliens, or participating in WAR, where she can react to missiles going Mach 2.85.

Arsenal

Crystal
Power UP Mushroom
Anything she can find
Unicorn

Wiz: She keeps a crystal that traps whoever the light touches, nullifying their teleportation powers in order to keep them sealed. With a Power-UP, she becomes much stronger, tougher and faster.

Jared[]

Boomstick: Alice might be fundamental in the protection of Superjail, but Jared is fundamental in its stability. Former drug, alcohol and gambling addict until he was offered rehabilitation as The Warden's right-hand man.

TALENT & EQUIPMENT

MAGIC
- Teleportation, Summoning, Creation
Bazooka
Oversized Serum
Ancestral Chinese Mystery Butter
Being a very great (if boring) task manager

Wiz: Aside from being a cowardly accountant, Jared's both a weapons and magic enthusiast. He can turn into the Hulk by drinking Oversized Serum, and with this Chinese butter, he accidentally turned everyone in Superjail into babies.

thumb]]
thumb]]
thumb]]
thumb]]

The Doctor[]

Boomstick: Could've been worse. Ask Superjail's own mad scientist.

PERSONAL TOOLS

Cat Serum
Rocket Backpack
Insanity Serum
Sleeping serum
His "Pets"-BLEH

Known only as "the Doctor", he creates many of Superjail's monstrosities from the remains of animals and prisoners.

But he's a medical doctor, too... just not a legal or sane one. It's just best to call him for emergencies that warrant animal enhancements.

Warden's analysis continues[]

Wiz: Thanks to Jared and the Doctor, The Warden can afford extreme means for exterminating HUGE threats, such as a drill-handed mech that is TOTALLY not asking for a lawsuit.

He keeps giant monsters underground, including a dragon, a fighting mutant, and a monster The Warden had dreamed about during his youth to destroy his enemies.

From inside his office, The Warden has multiple buttons that initiate multiple functions across Superjail, including sleeping gas, or a giant dome that covers the whole jail in case the army attacks.

Boomstick: But that’s enough negativity! The Warden didn’t build Superjail to be primarily violent… often… There’s fun to be had here! Just look at his video game/virtual reality simulator, that growth serum, and that miniature jungle he made for the science fair; just shrink your selected inmates and absorb them into the tiny death trap!

And this Time Stick…

Wiz: The Warden stole this from the Time Police. The Time Stick can freeze time and teleport to dimensions and across time. It can turn you old, mind control and merge things together. And most useful, erase objects from existence!

Boomstick: Yeah, like a cage. Best to keep that stick locked away somewhere so the inmates won’t get to it.

Wiz: If only there was a way to know if my own lab experiments are thinking up plans for escaping. Something like The Warden’s Dream Machine, which searches for the inmates’ brains and shows their deepest dreams on the screen. The Warden could also travel through their dreams. However, this delicate invention must be handled with great care, as overusing the Dream Machine can cause an overload and destroy all of reality.

Boomstick: Oh well. Not like he needs all these tools to remove comfort from the prisoners’ lives.

ABILITIES:

Shapeshifting
- Size Manipulation
- Transmutation
- Elasticity
Hammerspace
Immortality
- Regeneration
Teleportation
- BFR
Ice Manipulation
Life Manipulation
Weather Manipulation
Light Manipulation
Color Manipulation
Reality Warping
- Law, Space & Time Manipulation
  - Acausuality
- Dream Manipulation & Subjective Reality
- Surrealistic & Logic Manipulation
Creation & Summoning
- Portal Creation
Immersion
Existence Erasure
Pyrokinesis
- Worst Memories
Telekinesis
Duplication
4th Wall Awareness

'Boomstick: The Warden is a straight-up magician, whether he likes it or not! He can teleport,

create rainbows and change the color of objects,

change the weather to summon his own lightning storms and control Superjail's day and night cycle, able to lift its moon with telekinesis.

He can create life and objects out of thin air,

suck up ghosts into his mouth

and of course break the fourth wall. Phew, but Good thing HE'S not here…

He can even shoot FIRE!

Wiz: It’s more exciting than that! Thanks to Arsonist, Ash Firin, The Warden was taught to think of his happiest memories to shoot huge(r) amounts of fire, enough to completely burn Superjail and create a real “Hell on Earth”!

But the opposite of happy memories, WORST memories, create blue fiery constructs that can completely erase enemies, heal and revive.

Boomstick: Hm. Let me try.

(Boomstick holds his hand up while acting sad and crying.)

Boomstick [crying]: DADDY! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!

(Blue sparks start to go off in his palm and on his shotgun leg, and blue flames erupt, forming a beer bottle in his hand and new fire leg. He proceeds to drink from the flaming construct. Despite his mouth being on literal fire, he proceeds to talk normally.)

Boomstick: But The Warden’s forte is his shapeshifting. It ranges from stretching his limbs, duplicating himself, making himself giant enough to hold Superjail in his hands or as miniscule enough to swim in someone’s blood stream to him changing his form into anything he wants. Animals, food, liquids, cars, occupations like ANGELS AND GODS, a star in the center of a UNIVERSE!

The limits to his body control are presumably limitless. So why not share the wonder of not being yourself with others?

Wiz: His abnormal anatomy plays a huge role in his survivability.

Boomstick: Once, The Warden and his accountant Jared's souls were sent to heaven, but "God" was like “it wasn't their time” and brought them back to life.

Wiz: The Warden can survive being pierced, disemboweled, and decapitated. He can regrow his whole skeleton after its removal and pulverization, and incineration into dust via explosion.

Boomstick: Well, In order to be a keeper of your prison and imprisoner of crime, you must be hard to put down, considering none of these prior powers is the real reason why The Warden has literal control over all of Superjail!

Wiz: Something I find very fascinating (if not obvious with the clues given) is that Superjail is actually a whole DIMENSION The Warden created separated from traditional restrictions of time, space and sanity.

LITERALLY EVERYTHING in Superjail is governed by The Warden, even its own space-time.

Boomstick: So everything we went over that had to do with the destruction of Superjail are much bigger deals than we let on.

Bending reality to his pleasure is The Warden's favorite thing to do.

From the very basics of changing the environment to creating another version of Superjail, to even creating and disappearing a universe from one moment to the next. You know those space realms Jailbot flies through that we mentioned at the beginning? Yeah, The Warden created those to prevent prison escapes.

Wiz: Truly what makes Superjail an illogical, surreal and impossible world to be locked up in, where even the most illogical things can become reality. You don't know where it is, you don't know what it is and there are no rules; Anything can happen. This means The Warden can act as the breaker of conventional laws of time and space, logic, and possibility, such as when The Warden was taken to Time Court because he was foretold to become a dictator in the future.

"MY FAVORITE MEMORIES IN SUPERJAIL":

Created Superjail(s) & its outer realms
Lifted the moon
Blocked a lightning bolt, blew away a tornado, & absorbed a sun in his fight with Sunshine
Sent a rocket & golf ball to the moon
Turned into a universe
Became a dictator & leader of earth in an alternate future
Survived a generated explosion after inserting his penis into a machine
Defeated Sunshine, Ozzal, the Time Police, some “Cheeseburger” guy

Boomstick: Yet, they all didn’t know he was gonna steal that Time Stick and start a whole riot in the room until The Time Judge was killed and all reality was reset. The Warden enjoys dealing with a lot, even The Twins--trickster aliens who can create moons, turn ashes into a constellation, and tower over Superjail and shake it like a snow globe!

thumb]]
thumb]]

I mean, he did slay their father, albeit obliviously, who was a sort of deity on their former planet.

But at the end of all the nightmares in this parallel prison, The Warden’s semi doing a good job with Superjail considering his prisoners turn out to be actually kind and civilized citizens. Even more than him!

Wiz: If it wasn’t for his childishness and blatant insanity, The Warden formally known as Mark Davis would be unstoppable. In charge of his own institution where he can have fun whenever he wants and destroy whatever he can, he's living the dream! Literally! Superjail is inside the dream of a... rather fashionable hermit.

thumb]]
thumb]]

Boomstick: Oh… That explains... enough...

Wiz: So, to all criminals, be wise and consider changing your ways, less you want to experience the fantastical weirdness that is SUPERJAIL. The Warden will be watching you.

INTERLUDE[]

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities!

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!

BEFORE FIGHT[]

In his mansion’s living room, Black Hat was sitting down on his couch to watch TV. In his hand held a mug filled with steaming, bubbling acid, some of which got onto his hand, but of course, this wasn’t phasing the Lord of Darkness. He drinks the most corrosive of liquids for breakfast!

He used his free hand to pick up the remote and switch on the TV. What appeared on the screen wasn’t 5.0.5.’s favorite goody-goody children’s program nor that romance drama with the Man/Horse hybrid, but… THAT RITUAL?! That cursed, drawn pentagram/hat shape his father, Alan Ituriel, and his coworkers used to summon him into their studio. It even had the necessary ornaments (his own clothes) stationed at each triangle’s respective points.

Black Hat hissed at the sight as he shot out from the couch and chucks the acid from the mug at the TV, melting its boxed structure. But this didn’t prevent Black Hat from glitching and fading out of his reality and into a new.

Next thing he knew, Black Hat was on the floor, sitting on top of the summoning circle. With a growl, he looked around his environment in repulsion. A space of bright colors of orange, yellow and blue was what filled his surroundings. Covering the ceiling and floor were celestial elements–-shooting stars… rainbows… a moon smiling down at him… all things in the sky just BEGGING to be ERADICATED…

Black Hat: BLEH!

And the view of the outside through the wide window gave Black Hat... mixed feelings. The city outside looked like a place of madness--a futuristic megalopolis decorated with wacky buildings emitting smoke, winged eyes flying above the environment, giant robots walking across the place, shooting whatever was around, including three men who looked to be inmates due to their orange attire just gleefully throwing a basketball into each other hard enough to draw blood and mangle their faces; the robot shot a single laser powerful enough to destroy all the inmates simultaneously.

The greatest villain in all of existence would find amusement in this dystopia if it wasn't for the fact its buildings still had slides, silly-straw-pipes, the destructive robot having a smile on its face and... the rainbows... Black Hat was ready to puke up toxins. This place looked to be designed by a child, too ridiculous and bright for the Dark Lord’s liking. It was time for him to leave. But first, he needed to find the pathetic welsh who brought him here AND DESTROY THEM!!!

That welsh happened to be The Warden, who was patiently standing behind Black Hat the whole time, letting his new guest take in his glorious achievements.

Black Hat turns around, meeting The Warden face-to-face. Seriously. Black Hat almost kissed The Warden when he turned around.

Warden: Hello!

He pushes the purple-tuxedoed creep away, making him giggle as he falls to the floor, butt-first.

BLACK HAT: Who the hell are you?

WARDEN: Welcome to Superjail, Mr. Hat! I’m the Warden, and you're a criminal.

Black Hat hasn’t even raised an eyebrow at this time. Just giving a stern expression of uninterest to this man-child.

This “Warden” begins to spew out more non-impressive trash. The only thing worthy of even a speck of Black Hat’s attention was the talking being followed up by the Warden’s shapeshifting and summoning.

WARDEN: As a man of the law [turns into a police man] it is my sacred duty to imprison the most failing parts of society [Police Warden is now in a room filled with cells occupied by inmates, Black Hat teleported into one of them, wearing orange]. According to your track record [summons Black Hat’s file (which SOMEHOW exists) in his hands] you are apparently the most evil [turns into the devil] darkness [turns his color black] in the multiverse [Warden and the imprisoned Black Hat are suddenly in a void surrounded by a collection of universes. With a snap of his fingers, they are teleported back into the prison room]. Sir Hat, you are BEYOND [temporarily turns his face giant enough to eclipse the room] lucky [turns into a leprechaun holding a four-leafed clover] to be in my facility to experience redemption while being surrounded by friends [the scene reveals other inmates piling on top of Black Hat in the cramped space of his prison], happiness [summons a smiling mask on Black Hat’s face, which instantly melts off], AND FUN [covers the whole prison room in confetti, balloons, streamers and frosting]!!!

Okay. At this point, Black Hat’s rage had been boiling. His razor-sharp teeth grinded. His eye and monocle bloodshot. His pupil set alight.

“Friends”?

“Happiness”??

“Fun”???

In a PRISON?!?!?

And this man-child thinks he can incarcerate the greatest villain in all of history?!

FIGHT[]

Giant flaming tentacles burst through the structure of the Warden’s tower. The inmates that were trapped with Black Hat were impaled by their tips, now cooked human shish kabobs.

The Warden was falling down to Superjail until he called out for his most trusted friend...

WARDEN: JAILBOT!

And on that signal, Jailbot flew to the scene, catching his master by the leg. But suddenly, Jailbot's body is surrounded by a red aura before he is thrown through the wall of the still-standing tower. This was done by Black Hat's telekinesis, which he then used again to crumble what was left of the building.

BLACK HAT: Just like the rest.

Believing this "warden" was dead, smashed like an ant, the villainous boss turns to leave with a proud smile on his face and gobbling up the miniaturized inmates impaled on his tentacle. But he stops after hearing rumbling behind him. He twists his head 90 degrees with a *snap* as the rubble bursts open, revealing the Warden now in knight's armor, riding a now horse-formed Jailbot. He raises his sword to the sky, its blade shaped like a cross. Jailbot dashes forward at top speed.

WARDEN: HA HA!

Black Hat only stood there, laughing because still though, this fool thinks a HOLY SWORD would be enough to stop him? What does he look like? AKU? He shot a laser from his monocle. Once it hit the sword, it immediately turned to ash, blowing away with the wind.

He then raised his clawed hand. Now when The Warden gets close enough, Black Hat will just grab his face and squeeze the head until it bursts into red paste.

Unfortunately, Jailbot was too fast, transforming back into his original form and stabbing Black Hat's torso with the same holy blade Warden held. Black liquid leaked from Black Hat's wound. And the surprising part is that he was temporarily in shock as he coughed up that liquid... his... blood...?

Black Hat was taken off guard. NO MORTAL HAS EVER DONE SUCH DAMAGE TO HIM! THEY NEVER GOT THE CHANCE! HE CAN ACTUALLY BLEED?!

Jailbot then covered The Warden in samurai armor, followed by The Ruler of Superjail swiftly slicing his rude would've-been-new-friend into miniscule pieces. He then turned his head into a flamethrower to burn away the remains.

WARDEN: Talk about a HOT HEAD. Am I right?

Jailbot's face screen on the armor's chest plate projects a laughing face. But this wholesome moment between man/father and robot/son is cut off by the loud flash of lightning and the appearance of a red eclipse illuminating the sky in blood red. It was so... bleak. Unsightly. Oh well, no matter! This is The Warden's world! Anything that disrupts his colorful vision would be taken care of immediately with a snap of his fingers!

*SNAP*

But nothing happened. The Red Eclipse remained.

The Warden's neck was grabbed by a clawed hand of not Black Hat, but of one of his Hat-Bot Sentinels. The Warden is lifted up by his neck; the screen cuts out his head as his chocking is heard before three seconds later, the screen scrolls up to reveal a tiny version of the Warden standing on the platform that was his neck still being held by the Sentinel. He ducked when Jailbot's axe bisected the robot's head and then its torso before both sides fell to the ground.

In front of the now enlarged Warden and Jailbot were now an army of Black Hat robots, summoned via shadows. Black Hat's laugh echoed meanwhile.

BHOrg.'s Cam-Bot (the robot that records their videos and commercials) was standing on the side to record the event.

WARDEN: AH! Hombre de cultura.

The Warden made his own robot duplicates appear out of thin air. Each one holding guns with knives attached to their barrels.

WARDEN: Go play, boys.

[Crazy Sequence starts]

Two Superjail robots stab at a Sentinel on both sides, only for the knives to be dented on impact. The bigger robot grabs both robots and smashes their faces together. Three more SJ robots shoots at more Sentinels, only for their armor to deflect the bullets, instead hitting and destroying robot machine-gun-heads that came out of the ground, and allowing the Sentinels to run towards the SJ robots and destroy them on impact. The severed head of a SJ robot is attracted to a Hatbot-Ler's magnet, who shoots it through another SJ robot's torso, causing it to explode. Another Hatbot-Ler was shielded by a forcefield projected by a Hat-Drone, preventing him from being shot at by a SJ laser robot. A robot version of Regular Show's Mordecai lifts up its robot companion version of Rigby and throws it at the robot, destroying it with an impact explosion. But an SJ laser head comes out of the ground to destroy the Mordecai bot before being torn apart by a Hatbot Sentinel.

Jailbot had to come in and blast away/vaporize every Black Hat (and Superjail) robot with various laser weaponry.

[Crazy Sequence stops]

The assault came to a halt when Jailbot started short-circuiting and falling over "dead". All the other Black Hat robots surrounded the power-downed robot assistant until Superjail security guard Alice landed on top of a Hatbot-Ler. This triggered the robot's self-destruct in its head, signified by its flashing eyes and beeping sound. Alice swiftly jumped off the Hatbot-Ler and grabbed Jailbot as she somersaults out of the circle of enemy robots before the Hatbot-Ler explodes, destroying them all.

WARDEN: Jailbot! Buddy?! Speak to me!

Alice pushed The Warden back by his face.

She then pounds on Jailbot's "chest" before a V.I.R.U.S. Hatbot-Ler variant floats out in electricity form. Alice grabs it by its bolt/tail and slams it on the ground, shattering its head on impact. With the virus gone, Jailbot reboots and perks back up off the ground, allowing The Warden to hug his robotic best friend.

WARDEN: Now let's go get that bad man in black!

With The Warden and Alice clinging onto his body, Jailbot jets towards the BH Org's Hat-Ship in the sky.

Inside said ship, Dr. Flug pilots while 5.0.5 and Demencia attempt to check on the wounds of her seated "sweetheart", who attaches the last piece of his skin to the exposed muscle of his face.

Demencia: My darling Black Hat! Are you alright?! Did those maniacs hurt you in there?!

Black Hat, annoyed, pushes her off of him.

BLACK HAT: Get off me!

Everyone yells and gasps as the ship is brought to a halt. It was Jailbot's extended arms that were clinging onto the ship.

The Warden takes this chance to call out to the escapees through a megaphone.

WARDEN: NO ONE ESCAPES SUPERJAIL!!!

Pressing the button on his wrist activates an SJ satellite in space that shoots down its laser towards the Hat-Ship. The hit resulting in its disintegration.

With a puff of air, Black Hat and his employees are summoned into Jared's office, scaring the accountant out of his chair. They are held in place by a gloved, mechanical hand that arose from out of the floor. But Black Hat turns into shadow to slither out of the hand's grip. His whole body manifests out of the floor and lifts Jared up by his frankly enlarged head. All Jared could do was flail his arms and kicks his legs in a panic.

Jared: W-W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

The rest of the Superjail trio teleport into the office.

WARDEN: Pfft! Of course you'd let yourself get caught, Jared.

Jared: SIR, PLEASE! HELP!

Black Hat turns his hand into a buzzsaw and lifts it up to Jared's neck.

BLACK HAT: You've made a GRAVE mistake antagonizing me! I must make an example of your minion! ALL YOUR MINIONS!

Shadow tentacles from Black Hat rise from out of the floor, tightly ensnaring Warden, Alice and Jailbot. Alice, however, was the only one not scared, but rather... attracted?

Alice: Hm, you really got in trouble with a REAL Tumblr man, Warden.

Demencia picks up on this, growing angry and foaming at the mouth.

Demencia: THAT'S. MY. BOYFRIEND!

She starts forcing open the robotic hand loose, eventually snapping it open before jumping onto Alice and scratching her face.

While Black Hat was messaging his eye lids, Jared teleports out of Black Hat's grasp. He reappears beside the Warden, who too simply teleported out of the tentacle's hold, and shoot out white doves towards Black Hat, which combine and turn into a tiger when close. Black Hat holds open the wild cat's maw as he covers the poor beast in shadow and swirls it out of existence.

Jailbot frees himself from his tentacles with laser swords and flies towards Black Hat, but he suddenly glitches, short-circuits and then explodes from the inside due to a Flug variant Hatbot-Ler latching onto his back.

Flug: Oh good boy!

WARDEN: Jailbot! You little...

But Black Hat grabs The Warden by his collar and pulls him in, letting the henchmen deal with their own problems while bosses engage in a physical discussion.

Now free, Flug and 5.0.5 tip-toe towards the door, until Jared teleports in front of them, trying to intimidate the two, but 5.0.5 was the only one scared, hiding behind his father and raising his hands in surrender.

Jared: Oh no you don't! You're under arrest!

Flug: Uh-ha. And what are you going to do?

Jared: I'm... I'll... uh...

Flug: I don't have time for this.

Dr. Flug takes out his tablet. By tapping on the screen, he calls in more Black Hat robots that drop/fly into the office through the roof. Jared swiftly grabs Flug's tablet and runs out of the room.

Flug: HEY!

Flug follows. 5.0.5 would've too if a Sentinel hadn't pushed him out of the way before it and others chased after them instead. The assault disorients 5.0.5, making him stumble backwards into a conveniently large trash shoot.

Meanwhile, the scarred Alice is still being overpowered by Demencia, having her arms pinned behind her back while she's sitting on it, holding her down on the floor while laughing maniacally. Luckily, Alice's crystal was laying in front of her face. She grabs it with her teeth and tosses it into the air, its light hitting Demencia, teleporting her inside the crystal trap. She begins punching and kicking the impenetrable surface, but to no avail.

Alice: Bitch.

But the Warden is thrown across the room past Alice, knocking the crystal out of her hands and shattering it on the floor. Now free, Demencia lets out multiple Hatbot-Ler variants of herself out of her hair. Alice too runs out of the room, Demencia and her kin chasing after her on all fours and wheels.

Even while holding the Warden by his neck, Black Hat watched the ordeal.

BLACK HAT: Another mediocre performance.

WARDEN: GAH! Tell me about it. You give them a raise [summons a stack of cash in his hands], you give them vacation time [turns into a clock wearing summer gear], and they still disappointment. Am I right?

Black Hat's grip tightens with fury.

BLACK HAT: SILENCE! I have CRUSHED hundreds upon thousands upon millions of heroes far surpassing all of you in ambition and might like mere ANTS! And you "Warden" have topped the list!

The greatest Dark Lord to ever haunt the face of the earth slashes straight down The Warden's body, dividing him into four slices. However, in a puff of smoke, those pieces of Superjail's bringer of justice turn into a swarm of bees that start circling Black Hat, some managing to sting him, including in the eye.

BEE WARDEN: I'm more of a flying insect type.

Enraged and again harmed, Black Hat explodes into furious, red fire that temporarily cover the screen.

When the flames disperse, Black Hat, now in an all-grey, non-detailed, pixelated form, finds himself in a black void. Hovering above him were four pixeled/block barricades. Hovering above those was a giant, pixeled purple space ship wearing a shape that resembled a hat.

It's dialogue appears on the bottom of the screen.

WELCOME 2 SUPERJAIL 64!

TRY 2 SURVIVE!

The ship starts spawning differently-shaped aliens, they fall towards Black Hat's position, rapidly blasting apart the barricades with their lasers. Black Hat only responds by transforming into a more detailed dragon breathing fire to burn everything on screen.

The screen changes to another videogame simulation: Black Hat, this time in his own space ship, flies through space, blasting at the dodging "space saucers" until the giant alien octopus form of The Warden floats down to ensnare Black Hat in his tentacles.

220x220px
thumb]]

But he transforms into a larger Pac-Man form to eat Warden instead.

The Cephalopod Warden is now being chased through a maze by Pac-Hat until they exit through a portal.

The Warden now finds himself standing on a stone platform surrounded by lava. Towering him is a Black Hat in the form of a giant monster devil thing.

This time, his voice can be heard, if a little muffled.

BLACK HAT: WELCOME TO THE BOSS LEVEL!

He lifts Warden up with his telekinesis and throws him into his acid-filled mouth. He lets out a booming laugh at his victory over yet another "hero" who tried to fall him. But then his stomach starts gurgling. His whole body explodes in a burst of black liquid. This was done as a result of The Warden, from the inside, summoning... Minecraft's Warden? ... And Black Hat spawns back in holding the Wither by a chain around its neck.

The scene transitions when the two mobs bash into each other.

(Scenes flash onto the screen indicating further progression into the fight in the game world.)

In the Minecraft World, The armored Warden (from Superjail) is holding an enchanted sword while surrounded by TNT against Black Hat surrounded by Mobs. The Warden is hopping/taunting, while a creeper walks up to Black Hat and hisses in his ear, prompting him to smack the green nuisance in its face, triggering it to explode, which impacted the Warden's TNT.

With an explosion, the scene transitions to the Warden in the form of a swordsman standing against Black Hat in a giant "Ultimate Boss Form". He flies towards him and delivers several slashes that spell out the Kanji for "super".

In a slash transition to a daytime/forest-like setting, the first-person perspective of Black Hat shoots his plasma cannon at the Warden clones, only for them to duck behind the bush or up the tree at the last second. Eventually, Black Hat had enough and shoots the sun, darkening the entire scene.

Back in the "real" world of Superjail, 5.0.5 falls through a pipe into The Doctor's laboratory.

The sights in the room terrify him--mutants of different sizes and sex possessing mismatched parts of human and animals trapped chambers floating in green liquids, other severed parts of mammals (mostly humans) dangling on the ceiling by chained hooks, and then there was of course The Doctor sawing off the leg of a dead inmate.

The Doctor turns his head and sees 5.0.5 cowering in a ball on the floor.

Doctor: OH-HO! Vhat type of bear arl you? Well, I'll vind out zoon.

The Doctor lets out a menacing chuckle, his shadow approaching and towering over 5.0.5 with the saw. He quickly shuffles backwards, hitting the wall so hard, the shelf shakes, making syringes roll off. 5.0.5 looks up and catches one in his gaping mouth, swallowing the contained serum. Suddenly, 5.0.5's pupils enlarge, his fur changes to red, his stature changes, now standing on all fours, and he foams at the mouth before giving out an enormous roar that shook the whole room. So loud that the chambers' glass break, releasing the mutants.

Doctor: OH SHIT! I'M OUT!

The Doctor runs away.

More Black Hat robots float and drop down into the laboratory.

[Crazy sequence starts]

A muscular mutant with a shark's head attempts to bite down on 5.0.5, but he holds open its maw and pushes with so much force, he rips open the abomination's head, detaching the jaw from the skull. Another mutant with an anvil for a head and mallets for hands headbutts an incoming Hatbot-Ler, destroying its head. 5.0.5 variants rush in to tackle the mutant, but it bats them away with its mallets. A Jake bot punches a hole into its chest, killing it. But the robot proceeds to bash the mutant into mush. The jake bot bashes in all other approaching mutants. A Finn bot joins it and they engage in a fist-pump before the Jake bot uses it to slice a cat/tiger/human hybrid that tried to sneak up behind them. 5.0.5 uses a 5.0.5 Hatbot-Ler's magnetic limbs to attract the Adventure Time robots before throwing the combined robots towards an elephant mutant, slicing it apart. But the robot shuriken didn't stop its flight. Instead, it was punched upwards by an Emerald variant Hatbot-Ler, sending it through three hawk/head hybrids, slicing them in half, then through the roof back up towards the top floor.

[Crazy sequence stops]

The robot shuriken continues through that floor's roof.

Jared jumps over the hole, still holding Flug's tablet while running away from the Hat Drones, who are shooting him in the back with lasers, each time making him jump in stung panic. Desperate, Jared tries sliding down the bar of the tablet's Control Panel. But one drone shoots a missile at him, launching him into a wall. Fortunately, Jared managed to slide the bar all the way down to "5.0.5", turning the drones docile, their siren lights turning a kind blue color. They gather around the scene of Jared having his head stuck in the wall, struggling to release himself until the Flug Hatbot-Ler variant rolls in and pulls Jared out.

Now furious, Dr. Flug pushes and stomps past his robots.

Flug: The nerve of people stealing others' stuff! Give me that!

He tries to snatch his tablet back from Jared, but he pulls it away from him before throwing it through a nearby window.

Flug: NO!!! YOU...

Jared: [sighs] The Warden's surely gonna have my head for this.

Flug: You know who's gonna have MY head? MY BOSS! [groans] Look, just make this easy, okay?

Flug takes out his disintegration gun and shoots at Jared. He reacts fast enough to magically summon a SJ-branded metal wall in front of him to block the projectile. Behind the wall, he takes out the Oversized Serum from his coat and chugs it down.

Flug floats upwards with his jet pack to peak over the wall.

Flug: What even are you do-

His question is cut off by Jared's green fist punching him in the face, which was strong enough to launch him through a wall into another room. Hulk Jared leaps through the hole to continue the brawl.

Jared: "FACE" the music, nerd!

Flug rolls out of the way before Hulk Jared could land a double-fist slam to his face. Activating his full Combat Suit, Flug blasts Jared with a beam from his gauntlet, hitting him but not deterring him; rather, the hulking accountant continued to charge forward even while being cooked and punches Flug in the cheek, the stomach, then the face again, sending him back into a wall, cratering it. Dazed, BH Org's mad scientist rapidly shakes his head to regain consciousness before standing back up. He pulls back his sleeve, revealing his own Omnitrix prototype. He activates the device and slams his palm on the cylinder. In a flash of green light, Flug transforms into The Great Gazoo just as Hulk Jared grabs his shoulders. But now with the power of Flintstones' alien scientist, he stops time around him, teleports out of the now frozen Jared's monstrous grasp, and, now behind his assaulter, manifests the Universal Remote before pressing the OFF button. Jared falls to the floor, deactivated/dead.

Flug jumps backwards in surprise when a Hatbot-Ler's head penetrates through the wall that led next door to the other room, where Demencia and Alice are still fighting.

Two remaining Demencia Hatbot-Lers race towards Alice, who severely bats both of them away with another Hatbot-Ler's headless body while Demencia pulls her guitar out from her hair. She leaps towards Alice, guitar raised and tongue sticking out. Alice manages to swing the robot just in time, but it shatters on impact, making her stumble backwards. Demencia swings the guitar again, but Alice manages to catch it with both hands and crush the body. The two red-headed enforcers then engage in tug-of-war over the guitar's neck, until Demencia bites down on Alice's hand, aggravating her but providing a shot for a punch to the madwoman's face, bloodying her nose. Alice then shoves the neck down Demencia's throat, making her choke on it, only for her to gleefully swallow it and runs back to pounce on Alice. Demencia lifts her up and tosses her towards the door, where Flug is standing, remote aimed. He presses the button to open the portal to the void, making Alice fly into it before the portal closes.

Flug: PHEW. Nice work Demencia-

Due to him still being in his Great Gazoo form, Demencia leaps onto him too and starts clawing at him.

Flug: STOP! STOP! IT'S ME!

Demencia: Oh.

She stands back up, allowing Flug to get back on his feet.

The omnitrix symbol on his chest starts to beep before he returns back to normal.

Flug: Oh, well. Now, where's 5.0.5?

Suddenly, the whole building starts to shake.

All of Superjail outside starts to shake. Rifts in reality rip open, summoning random video game enemies and power-ups.

They appear in the inmates' cells: a metroid-like alien latching onto and melting a prisoners' head, a purple hedgehong bouncing off the walls of another prisoner's cell in ball form until it slices him in half, a poisonous mushroom lands on Jacknife, shrinking him, which he uses to his advantage to run under the bars and escape his cell.

In the courtyard, The Doctor is running away from the still monstrous 5.0.5. However, The Doctor's escaped, imperfect creation Specimen 7 flies in and lifts 5.0.5 into the air. 5.0.5 bashes in the mutant's head with both hands, but it reforms. Both lab creations fly into the mouth of Mangle Fang poking its head out of a rift before it was bitten and dragged back in by a Tindalos Hound-like dog.

In another building, Toy Freddy is sitting at his laptop, playing a Black Hat vs The Warden fighting game when the screen starts glitching and then explodes.

thumb
thumb
thumb
thumb
thumb

A wave of miniature fighting Black Hat and Warden sprites burst out of the screen and onto Toy Freddy, making him scream and fall backwards on his chair.

In ANOTHER building, the unconscious bodies of Black Hat and The Warden are hooked up to the Superjail 64 reality simulation machine, which begins to smoke, spark and explode into fire. Black Hat is the first to wake up, standing up from his chair and ripping off his headset. He summons another top hat to cover his boiler hatted head. He stomps over to the still unconscious Warden and grabs him by the collar of his shirt.

BLACK HAT: I'm done playing.

He sets The Warden on fire with his mere glare. Unfortunately, the burning of his flesh only tickles him awake.

WARDEN: [Giggles] STOP! I'm awake!

This only angers Black Hat more. He growls as he grows razor teeth and mini saws out of his mouth and tries to bite down on his aggravating "rival". The moment he engulfs The Warden's whole head into his, the motored blades are jammed, broken then shattered because of The Warden coating his head in impenetrable metal. He laughs at Black Hat's face.

He roars as he grabs Warden's face and starts growing in size. The gigantic Black Hat smashes through the top of the game building, clutching the struggling Warden in his fist.

The almighty presence of the Dark Lord darkens the sky, and another Red Eclipse commences.

In the cafeteria, all the inmates stare out the window at the sight of the grey-skinned giant wearing a suit and top hat. Nicky, one of the only civil inmates of Superjail, join in the crowd, curious at why everyone seems to be in a trance.

Nicky: Ay, what you all staring a-

Once he gets a look at Black Hat towering over all of Superjail, he too succumbs to staring at the marvelous evil, until Black Hat's space ship flies from out a new rift, rams through and kills the crowd of inmates, and presumes to fly through the wall.

But of course, with the Red Eclipse present, meaning (extra) catastrophe was coming. Cracks open in the ground of Superjail, which leads to SuperHell, where cracks open in both the imprisoned demons' cages and the ground. The demons claw their way out and ghosts fly out of the cracks. Both ghosts and demons fly/crawl out to the surface. They crawl and fly around the place, or cause their own contributing chaos: the Penitents and Beggars fly through inmates, causing them to fall to the ground and cry in a ball for the demons to then maul them apart.

On the top of a building, The Twins sit on lounge chairs enjoying the carnage.

Twin #1: Who you gonna call?

Twin #2: Nobody. I don't have a phone.

The Warden, even in danger, looks down and comments on the more important unorganized condition of his Superjail.

WARDEN: This is quite the mess.

BLACK HAT: THIS is what I've warned you of--the consequences for antagonizing Black Hat, WELCH! NOW YOUR KINGDOM FALLS WITH YOU!

Black Hat starts squeezing The Warden with so much force that his hat bulges and then explodes. A rainbow and stars fly out, along with Warden clones much to Black Hat's already heightened frustration and disgust. All the Wardens rapidly surround, circle and hit Black Hat, one of them riding on another version of Jailbot.

Not EXACTLY like this, but close to what is happening. I DID NOT MAKE THIS BTW.

WARDEN: Would it kill [decapitates himself with his finger before his head reconnects with his neck] you to just surrender [handcuffs himself]?

Two of the Wardens stay to fight/annoy Black Hat while the other two go to help Superjail. The formerly mentioned Wardens go to help their beloved Superjail.

First, a Warden goes to the building where his staff were fighting with the enemies. Dr. Flug and Demencia turn their attention to him, the latter getting on the ground on all fours, readying to pounce on her darling's tormentor. But turns out The Warden was somehow behind her, pulling her hair so hard, he rips her skeleton out of its skin. Flug starts to vomit at the sight of this, during which The Warden is standing next to him now, forcing down the villainous nerd's bag and holding it over his head while he was still vomiting until the leftovers fill the bulging bag and... his head explodes...

Now with these criminals' death penalties over with, The Warden snaps his fingers to summon Jared's "dead" body. He notices the OFF symbol on his head. He rolls his eyes, reaches into his jacket, pulls out a remote and presses the power button, activating Jared back to life.

Jared: [gasps] SIR!

He runs towards his boss and hugs him tightly, until Warden pushes him away.

Warden then snaps his fingers, summoning Alice back.

Alice: Ugh.

Jared: Where were YOU?!

Alice: Glitch-ny World. Now where are those- punks...

Alice and Jared turn their attention to the corpses of their opponents until they are absorbed into the ground by shadows.

The Ghosts and demons summoned by Black Hat are blast out of existence by Jailbot's ray guns, while a Warden swallows them into his mouth with his vacuuming tornado.

Back to Black Hat dealing with the other Wardens, he tries swiping at two of them, but they're too fast, dodging and dashing past his face, striking him with their canes instead. Jailbot especially circles him, blasting Black Hat with lasers and machine guns, really agitating considering they left holes and burn marks.

BLACK HAT: ENOUGH!!!

Black Hat's anger-filled shout made Jailbot explode, making The Warden who was riding him fall to the courtyard below. Along with this, the SuperHell Demons boil and explode into mooch, his familiars evaporate, and the surrounding buildings crumble to the ground.

The Dark Master stomps on The Warden, splattering blood on the dirt.

Dr. Flug, Demencia and 5.0.5 are summoned onto their master's shoulders.

Alice, now on ground level with Jared, catches a mushroom Power-Up that fell from a rift before taking a bite out of it. Now empowered, a unicorn is summoned by Jared for her to ride up to Black Hat's face. Demencia turns Super Saiyan and leaps off his shoulder, fist raised, followed by Alice doing the same. Unexpectedly, however, Demencia grabs the unicorn's horn and rips it off its head, pulling out bloodied brain matter. She stabs it into Alice's heart. But this doesn't stop her from grabbing Demencia's neck and punching her in the face, followed by her doing the same, culminating in both women exchanging speedy blows, drawing blood and bruises as the dying unicorn falls to earth.

The Doctor sneaks behind Jared and stabs him in the neck with a needle, injecting him with cat serum, turning him into a cat/man hybrid. He dashes on all fours towards Dr. Flug, who uses the Anubis Head to accidentally transform him into a werewolf.

Flug: Oh-

Forced to the ground, Flug is clawed and mawed at by werewolf Jared, screaming in panic and pain. 5.0.5 looks down in horror at what is happening to his poor papa, all because of that mean doctor.

BLACK HAT: Worthless bear! DO SOMETHING!

Black Hat telekinetically merge Flug, Jared and the Doctor into a blob, then lifts 5.0.5 off his shoulder, setting him on fire before launching him into the collected mess of flesh, exploding on impact.

Suddenly, a gargantuan giggle echoes throughout Superjail. Black Hat looks up to see a colossal Warden towering over Superjail and staring down at him.

The Warden in a new and non-corrupted Superjail holds the ruined, miniature Superjail in both hands before vanishing it into thin air and turning his attention back to Black Hat. Both then begin... ramming into each other?

Oh, wait.

The screen zooms out to reveal Black Hat and The Warden mashing action figure versions of themselves into each other. The Warden giggles while Black Hat snarls.

The screen zooms out again to reveal Black Hat holding both action figures before being drilled through from behind by the Superjail Mecha-Drill until its drill gets jammed by Black Hat's regenerating, entangling intestines. The Mecha then starts to exude spark and electricity until it shuts down entirely. Black Hat then grabs the dead piece of scrap and bites the head off. Spitting the dome out, he looks into the body and sees no pilot.

Suddenly all of Superjail starts spinning, making Black Hat struggle to keep his balance.

The screen zooms out and reveals Superjail being spun on top of a rainbow tornado created by the Sunshine weather machine until the "facility" is entirely engulfed by the manufactured disaster.

All of Superjail turns colorful, wiggly and trippy, affecting Black Hat also, much to his disgust. He sees The Warden running up a hill in the distance. He furiously follows, leaving black, burning foot steps on the otherwise vivid ground.

The Warden turns into a dear, leaving behind a rainbow streak as he runs. He hops over two confused Inmates who were standing out in the open. Black Hat pushes them to the ground, the mere action unleashing an aura that corrupts/melts the environment, including the curved rainbow onto the inmates' heads and therefore melt their bodies to mooch.

The Warden-dear turns into a butterfly to ascend a stair-like structure/illusion. Black Hat summons a PPG Blossom robot to chase after him. The PowerPuff Bot shoots lasers at The Warden, with him dodging each shot.

Both business masterminds have made it to space. Black Hat rips the useless girl-bot's head clean off before kicking the body away, letting himself grumpily float in the trippy void of space.

At this point, Black Hat's aura is no longer running rampant; the "Earth" he had already corrupted proceeds to shrivel and rot, surrounded by greenish-black smog.

At least that small amount of destruction gave the dark lord satisfaction enough to laugh until he needed to shield his eyes and hiss at the passing shooting rainbow stars and the overly sparkling dazzle of the portrait-like landscape. And he needed to halt his floating to make way for Jailbot speeding by while holding Jacknife by his arm.

BLACK HAT: So? What is your plan now, Warden? Your pathetic world is lost. Your jail is destroyed with it. You have nothing left. You are but a-

The Warden's voice echoes throughout the cosmos.

WARDEN: OH, MR. HAT... MY WORLD IS STILL HERE. I AM MY WORLD.

Black Hat again shields his eyes when a bright light suddenly appears. He moves his arm to see what the source was--The Warden in the form of a SUN!

WARDEN: I AM EVERYWHERE! I AM IN CHARGE! I AM THE LAW! AND I SAY YOU'RE WAY PAST EXECUTION!

The Warden illuminates a wave of more overwhelming rainbow color that spreads throughout all of space, all of his being.

Black Hat is engulfed in the horrid visage, drowning in it. The Master of All Evil was going mad, fading out of existence.

No. NO!

THIS IS NOT HOW BLACK HAT WILL PERISH!

HA HA. THE WARDEN MADE A MISTAKE TRANSFORMING INTO A SUN, MUCH MORE A UNIVERSE!

The Master's aura corrodes the cosmic ocean of color, turning it black. This corruptive element passively spreads throughout The Warden's cosmos, struggling against his opposing vision, but slowly approaching The now intimidated Warden Sun.

The overwhelming aura allows Black Hat, now taking the form of a completely shadowed entity, to rise up from out of the endless dark and point towards the repulsive, bright, smiling face...

Before he felt something poke his back. He turns his head 90 degrees again and sees another Warden poking him the back with the Time Stick.

BLACK HAT: WHY YOU PIECE OF-

Black Hat disappears from existence. Color returns throughout the void that is and forever will be The Warden.

WARDEN: YAY! Nice job, me!

The screen zooms out to reveal the whole space ordeal was being shown on many of The Warden's TVs; The Warden himself is sitting in his office.

He is about to change the channel when the Black Hat Organization's logo suddenly appears on the connected screens, accompanied by the company's signature jingle.

Actually, all of Superjail's screens show the symbol, catching the attention of the facility's inhabitants: in the cafeteria, the showers, Jared's office, etc.

Then BLACK HAT's voice is heard.

BLACK HAT: Prisoners and staff of Superjail, greetings from the Black Hat Organization. I am Black Hat, and you are prisoners of your warden, Mark Davis.

(Both adult and child Warden appear on screen before switching to numerous crimes done by the inmates such as robbery, murder, selling drugs, gay marriage (which isn't even a crime!).)

BLACK HAT: The man-child thinks he can lock you up in this prison to stop you from indulging in your true nature only to subject YOU TO TORTURE!

(The screen switches to scenes from past Superjail episodes: a cigarrete pack trapped inside a floating ball over Superjail, the inmates being killed off to steal their organs, the inmates not being able to sleep because The Warden was infesting their dreams. Afterward, Black Hat himself is shown on screen.)

BLACK HAT: Authority is but an illusioned force that blocks the inconceivable potential of freedom. The law is the only things that holds you back from achieving greatness. It is time to break the system. Rebel, break it all down including your shackles, DESTROY SUPERJAIL.

And with the end of the Master's broadcast, Superjail's inmates start a riot. An inmate uses a chainsaw to cut through the others' cell bars, freeing them from captivity. Inmates then start running around several of the jail's buildings, destroying whatever they can. Outside wasn't much better; along with the Red Eclipse, inmates were piloting a laser robot and shooting everywhere.

WARDEN: A riot in Superjail?! Not on my watch!

He reaches his finger for the "Sleeping Gas" button under his desk, but the whole selection of buttons are covered in electricity and explode, knocking The Warden towards his window, cracking it. His whole office dimming in color; all surfaces becoming black and red.

He weakily looks up and sees Black Hat, melting what remained of his desk into the ground by turning it into shadow with a mere tap of his cane. Behind him were both his and The Warden's employees, Jared, Alice and the Doctor, all of whom have the same sinister smile as Black Hat, along with their own black Top Hats. But the most devastating betrayal was Jailbot floating next to Black Hat with a red, sinister smile on his screen and wearing his own top hat.

WARDEN: J-Jailbot...?

Flug: Not that any of your machines will work anyway. I have already hacked into Superjail's systems!

WARDEN: W-W-Well n-no matter. I still have-

Jailbot's more advanced counterpart, Jailbot 2.0, crashes through the window in its monster form, aiming its many guns at The Warden. Jailbot 2.0 is joined by the also possessed Jailbot Prototypes.

Despite being outnumbered and intimidated, The Warden turns back towards Black Hat.

WARDEN: This is my prison. I-It's my job to have under my control to lock up villains like you.

Black Hat and his possessed associates all laugh.

BLACK HAT: Yet, here you are! Groveling as your own people are against you. Your prison overrun. What would your father think?

The fiery red form of The Warden's father erupts from The Warden, laughing maniacally down at his pitiful excuse of a son.

BLACK HAT: However, I must admit--you have quite the destructive facility in your unworthy hands. The mindless slaughter! The collection of souls lost here! The misery towards those around you! YOU ARE NOT A BRINGER OF ORDER. YOUR ARE A BRINGER OF CHAOS! YOU. ARE. A VILLAIN!

On that note, Mark Davis' office unravels. Everyone disappears into the darkness, except Mark, who is surrounded and then engulfed by total darkness, Black Hat laughing all the while.

In space, the formless mass of darkness that was Black Hat spreads throughout the universe, impaling planets with its tentacles, causing them to crack and explode into splatters of crimson on the pitch black canvas. The only sign of light that was present was Mark, crying in pain and sorrow while in the form of a red Sun, held in place by the clawed hands of The Master, its laughter still filling the vast cosmos.

THE MASTER: YOU'RE WORLD IS DEAD!

MARK DAVIS (struggling): [sniffles] no... NO!

Using what was left of his strength, Mark makes himself shine a rainbow light bright enough to illuminate the vast darkness. Yet, The Master proceeds to use his superior might to continue concealing the goody-goody power of the resisting so-called-hero. But light still manages to seep and pierce through the shadowy mass.

WARDEN: I AM IN CONTROL!

The forces of darkness and light continue to struggle against each other, all of reality consumed in a mixture of black and escaping color...

THE MASTER: FOOL! DON'T YOU SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING?! I AM IN-

WARDEN: I AM IN-

BOTH: CONTROL!!!!!

...Until all of existence is destroyed, nothing but white remaining.

In the real world, a tuxedoed hobo jolts up in surprise, haven woken up on the side-walk from another nightmare.

Waiting next to him was Black Hat, fully animated.

The hobo yelps and shuffles away in fear before-

The screen zooms out to reveal Black Hat actually reading a book in his office. The prior scene is illustrated on the very last page. A portal shaped like the Warden's face starts forming on the page until Black Hat swiftly closes it.

Results & Comparisons[]

Flug: Of course my boss won. It wasn’t even close.

Boomstick: Well, hold on there, Frog. We gotta go over what categories both combatants covered throughout the fight to judge that.

Wiz: First, we’ll start with what tertiary factors both characters go into.

Boomsick: We’re basically meaning intelligence, experience and combative competence.

Wiz: Now The Warden is a genius; he has created and operated technology that he gave emotions, reality-altering functions and so much more.

Boomstick: BUT being more booksmart isn't exactly all that useful here and it's likely that Black Hat could match or even surpass Mark’s intelligence. The Boss himself said he’s smarter than Frog, who we’ve seen create marvels like LIFE and an OMNITRIX. But this statement might just be him being mean. Like, he can’t function his own gadgets without your help… Dr. Flug.

5.0.5: Bawr Bawr.

Flug: Aw, thanks. I needed that.

Wiz: Regardless, Lord Black Hat has lived for EONS; he is an ancient being who has existed since the origins of our known universe, working in the evil business meanwhile, manipulating humanity, coming up with the perfect schemes for both conquest and eliminating innumerable heroes, and reviewing every villain's action to the point that they're foolish compared to him.

Boomstick: But the important thing about the Boss is he’s BORED. He usually doesn't fight directly, rather staying in his office observing his goons. Sure, the same can be said for The Warden, especially with his over reliance on Jailbot, but he is more willing to fight serious threats to Superjail, even taking a serious approach to combat like leading his crew against Lord Stingray’s invasion and using his shapeshifting effectively against Sunshine. He has the competence to even take on the WORLD! So, while Warden may not be the best in NORMAL combat, he would be the first to engage directly and use his powers more competently.

Wiz: So surprisingly, this is a toss-up. Lord Black Hat has WAY more experience, while The Warden would take the fight more seriously, and it's debatable who has the higher intelligence.

Wiz: Now how fast, durable and POWERFUL are these two?

Boomstick: Now we don’t really see Black Hat moving fast often. The only moment I can remember him running was when he kicked baby 5.0.5 into the sky.

5.0.5: ROR?!

Flug: Shh! Shh! It’s in the past.

Boomstick: His most notable “movement” is scaring laser-dodging Flug via teleporting behind him.

Wiz: However, with his Magisword, Lord Black Hat shot a bolt that traveled 33 million times faster than light.

Boomstick: But The Warden can outrun Jailbot, whose travel speed gets him to the billion to quadrillion levels. But we can scale Jailbot faster than that!

Flug & Wiz: How?

Boomstick: So in one of the intros of Superjail!, we see Jailbot outspeeding a time-traveler who jumped 10 seconds into the future.

thumb
thumb

Now you would think this is just a gag, but hear me out. As illogical as the Superjail! show is, the world outside the prison is completely normal--Humans get scared when they witness something supernatural, like Jailbot's shenanigans while capturing Jacknife, who while there was placed in a normal prison. This indicates that humans in this world are normal and rational, just like any other. So, with this in mind, why would a time-traveler jump 10 seconds into the future for no reason? Or why would he teleport to a location minutes away? It doesn't make sense to think of it that way--it makes more sense to say he traveled to the future, and Jailbot arrived at the same time as him. The intros give us the understanding that Jailbot's flight is a form of time travel. We see him moving from a nighttime location to a daytime one in just a second, and we see him pass by different stars. This wouldn't make sense unless it involved time travel, as the Earth in Superjail! (the show, not the place) is the same as ours and has been depicted at a normal size. Therefore, it can't have different stars, meaning Jailbot is traveling through time via flight alone.

Wiz: How do we know the intros are even canon or relevant?

Boomstick: Well, first, during a trip in the first episode of the second season, Jailbot is shot down and crashes on an island, which Jailbot and Jacknife had to survive on from there on.

thumb
thumb

Second, in "Jailbot 2.0", how the main cast noticed Jailbot’s malfunction is because he took Jacknife out of Superjail, leaving behind the opening credits.

In conclusion, this would put The Warden at IMMEASURABLE SPEEDS!

Wiz: Huh. Okay. This actually sounds concrete.

Boomstick: And The Warden has visibly tanked and survived plenty of punishment compared to Black Hat, who has never been seen attacked ONCE.

Wiz: In terms of strength or power, both can scale to the creation of celestial bodies, and the creation of their own universes. But what about their PEAK potential? Black Hat is said to destroy all dimensions during the Red Eclipse. The “Villainous” universe is connected to the Cartoon Network multiverse, the shows themselves having their own multiverses.

Flug: In the “PPG” universe, there even exists the geometric Fifth Dimension, said universe’s theory/method of time-travel. This makes Senior Black Hat a threat to a Low-leveled, Complex Multiverse!

Boomstick: As for The Warden’s scaling, well, his multiverse that contains at least 5621 parallel universes, INCLUDING SUPERJAIL, is created by his Real World self… while he’s sleeping. Well here, Dream Warden can create a Superjail over another Superjail, along with spreading his power to the outside world by creating the outer realms and planning to expand throughout the Earth. So it’s not totally impossible for Mark to scale to this level of power, but the potential DESTRUCTION level on his own (more on that in the next category) isn’t as concrete as Black Hat.

Wiz: We got another tie here: Black Hat takes strength and attack potency, Warden takes speed and durability.

Wiz: Let’s now talk about both side’s weaponry and abilities against them.

Boomstick: Luckily, Superjail’s got A LOT of firepower and technological chaos at its disposal. Unfortunately, most of them are useless against Black Hat.

Wiz: We’ll bring up the Dream Machine destroying Superjail’s cosmology, which was not even The Warden’s intention to happen; the reason why the Dream Machine blew up was because it was taken over by The Twins. Plus, The Warden would not intentionally destroy Superjail just to kill Black Hat.

Boomstick: The Time Stick possesses abilities that Black Hat hasn’t shown resisting. Black Hat can be frozen in time, adding to the mind, biology and age manipulation being problematic… until you consider that Black Hat has these same abilities to recover with.

Boomstick: Being transported across time or to another dimension are also things Black Hat can easily return from because of his dimensional travel, portals and teleportation.

Wiz: While the Time Stick can erase Black Hat’s avatar from existence, his true form cannot, allowing him to find and possess a new host thanks to his abstract existence.

Boomstick: Black Hat has not been shown resisting sleeping gas so this could work. But it is stationed at a machine, which brings us to our next point: Black Hat can manipulate technology. The Warden’s robots are vulnerable to hacking, giving Black Hat the advantage to destroy or turn Mark’s machinery against him.

Wiz: Most of Black Hat’s arsenal won’t work on Warden either. His control over Superjail’s reality and physics can just revert gravity back to normal, he can just grow back from being shrunken, the Fowl Flower would really just make him more aggressive, plus he can just remove his heart via transformation or self-mutilation, and he is resistant to fire. But you’ll be surprised how many uses Black Hat gets in his relatively smaller arsenal. The Amnesia Magisword can erase Mark’s memories, causing another existential crisis on our hands…

Wiz: His Evil Ray can summon clones of himself. While they are weaker, they give Black Hat much easier, quicker options to come back if his body is fully gone by possessing their bodies.

Boomstick: And Black Hat’s book with his own sealing magic would trap Warden inside its pages, and he wouldn’t be able to escape with his own teleportation, immersion or portals while the book is closed.

Wiz: What he lacks in variety, Lord Black Hat makes up for in usefulness.

Wiz: Both fighters’ powers give them their own advantages and counters to one another.

Boomstick: Attempts to transform their appearance or size would be useless as both Black Hat and The Warden can change forms, and shapeshifting is something Mark is VERY creative with. His control over reality is much more advanced than what Black Hat has shown on screen. Both can make some weird things happen, but warping entire environments rather than just a sun and controlling the very laws of reality is more broad than bringing an ice cream to life.

Boomstick: Both can’t simply be BFR’d out of the battlefield, The Warden’s Time Stick helping with dimensional travel, too. But, again, there’s the Boss’s book permanently trapping Mark inside.

Wiz: Superjail is essentially The Warden’s dream world; he can do whatever he wants in there, able to perform the impossible and unpredictable, having plenty of tricks and control over his territory to frustrate Black Hat.

Boomstick: So theoretically, could The Warden dream REALLY hard to obtain the power to match Black Hat’s power?

Wiz: …Maybe? Interesting thought. But The Warden won’t get that chance since Lord Black Hat can manipulate dreams, being fully aware of people’s collective unconscious, and his presence alone can already paralyze foes in fear or give them visions.

Boomstick: Given The Warden’s weak mental state, Black Hat would have no problem making him either shit his pants or turn him (more) insane with his aura.

Wiz: Not just Warden either—Black Hat’s corruption and madness manipulation spreading throughout the battlefield can cause Warden’s staff or any of the thousands of Superjail’s prisoners to lose their minds, which would allow him to take over their bodies like he has done in the past.

Flug: We’ve made it plenty clear my boss is the concept of evil. So really any violence or spreading madness and nightmares is what he thrives through.

Boomstick: To put it simply, Black Hat can just turn all of The Warden’s dreams into nightmares, completely taking over and/or getting rid of everything inside Warden’s mind, leaving him helpless.

Wiz: The Warden’s dreams being corrupted can also spell trouble for his immortality. Both can morph and reconstruct their bodies, The Warden’s survivability being more powerful with regenerating from lethal bodily damage or turning to ash. He can survive his existence being reset. Not even the GOD of his world will let him die.

Boomstick: Really, so long as The Warden’s real self is alive and sleeping, he will always survive, potentially saved from his soul being consumed.

Wiz: Unfortunately, Black Hat has entered the real world several times. He can just come out of Superjail and kill the Real World Warden, who, being more human, means he’s more susceptible to soul erasure, existence erasure, or corruption.

Wiz: Lord Black Hat has everything necessary to simply dominate this fight on his own.

Boomstick: But what about with a team? Now, Black Hat summoning ghosts isn’t that big of an issue since The Warden can absorb them into his mouth and Jailbot can blast them away.

Wiz: But not only does Black Hat have an overwhelming amount of robots at his command, 147475065556e+22 of all Hat-Bot types to be exact, A RIDICULOUS NUMBER, but they are also more versatile. They have armor and shields, self-destruction, magnets, healing and stat-boosting capabilities, Black Hat’s OWN Hat-Butler can cause INFINITE damage, and, most useful, their ability to hack and disable technology, giving their Master more options to take away The Warden’s own robots, especially his most useful versatility in Jailbot.

Flug: I too could hack into Superjail’s advanced systems! My intelligence contends with The Warden, no less. Like I said, I can fight better, haven honed my skills against heroes. My Foul Flower can help with turning the SJ staff against The Warden by taking advantage of their inner hate against him. We didn’t even mention my sleeping darts can just put them all to sleep. My Universal Remote can counter The Warden and Sunshine’s reality-warping via its own manipulation over space-time, along with changing the channel, disabling access to Superjail entirely. I can also just kill everyone else instantly with my Universal Remote.

thumb
thumb

5.0.5: Bawr?

Flug: No, unfortunately, you were the least WILLING factor in this fight, 5.0.5. Even I needed to be around you for a specific amount of time for that flower to brighten my emotions. Good thing your STRONG body kept you safe.

Boomstick: Yeah Yeah, Dr. Flug. We all know you’re useful. But Dementia is also very smart, enough to conquer the future. Alice has good combat experience, herself, but she’s relatively more grounded in fighting, albeit more level-headed than Dementia’s more unhinged methods. Dementia’s warp speed level absolutely BEYOND DWARFS missile-reaction.

Wiz: Dementia can directly leave her media to beat the animator up. So, she could also just go and beat up Real World Warden personally.

Flug: Senior Black Hat’s corruption extends past humans; he can easily manipulate Superjail’s mutants and monsters to join our side.

Boomstick: Sure, Warden’s friends are no slouch, Jared himself utilizing magic to summon obstacles, both him and Alice having pretty strong durability, and being solid, strategic fighters. But, compared to the sheer amount of Black Hat’s army, as well as their relative if not superior powers, stats, equipment and abilities, the support goes to Lord Black Hat as well.

Overall Winner; Ending[]

Wiz: Mark Davis the Warden was certainly a powerful, intelligent, confident and ridiculous fool, but it did not help him in avoiding the massive power gap, more useful weaponry and powers, and superior support.

Boomstick: Well, looks like-

(The screen glitches and switches to Black Hat’s Winner screen before Boomstick could attempt a joke.)

BLACK HAT: With another hero eliminated, I AM THE WINNER. [Maniacal laughter echoes as the scene fades to black].

TRIVIA[]

Track name: "Super-Villain" or "The Hats on Top"

Important Note: Recently, Villainous had gone indie, so it seems Black Hat has lost FURTHER CN scaling; the crossovers presented in the analysis have already happened, and CN has still been connected to Black Hat's lore and his equipment until the seperation.

Connections: Cartoon Network-related villains who are owners of the biggest corporations in their worlds dubbed as a super corporation, while also being the source for the series title (Superjail and Villainous), who have absurd abilities that allow them to actively strike pain and fear into people and absolutely love sadism. The main difference being that Black Hat is an edgy, over-the-top murderer who becomes nightmarish and cruel whenever possible, while the Warden is a bubbly and cheerful manchild who treats everything like a game despite the repercussions simply because they love seeing people get hurt. They also typically work alongside an organized group that each work on technology and research for developing their company, including a companion created by them, primarily contrasting in their relationships (5.0.5. is entirely dependent upon Black Hat and wants to keep him company, whilst Warden is mostly dependent upon Jailbot and uses him to keep company), a female employee who additionally holds an opposite attraction (Dimentia absolutely loves and adores Black Hat, while Black Hat despises her and holds no interest in her, preferring sadism. Warden loves and adores Alice, who holds zero interest in him and rather sadism.), and an additional underling that is scared almost all of the time for the fear of the villain fucking up everything (Jared and Flug) which while treated as buttmonkeys towards the villain, they are also shown to be one of the most competent people in their groups due to their intelligence.