Holiday Season 1, Episode 2! It's Christmas time, but with a side of murder!
Intro[]
Note: 1974 Billy Lenz is used.
Necro: It's Christmas time. A time of happiness and cheer.
Mercer: And murder, apparently. (Why does this always happen to us?)
Necro: Billy Lenz, the sneaky serial killer.
Mercer: And Billy Chapman, The Santa Serial Killer!
Necro: I'm Necro and He's Mercer.
Mercer: And It's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
Billy Lenz Creeps Around DEATH BATTLE![]
Mercer: On a cold Christmas eve, a group of sorority girls celebrated Christmas together, unbeknownst to them, a stalker had entered the house, and his intentions were less than friendly.
Necro: Not much is known about Billy's backstory, other than the fact the he's psychopath that seems to be a sexual predator of some kind, that targets college girls.
Mercer: Apparently he was pretty damn good stalking and murdering, because he got an urban legend based off of him, I mean, that's quite a reputation.
Necro: You're damn right. Well, with backstory out of the way, let's get onto his skills.
Mercer: Billy is most known for his deadly stealth and knife skills.
Necro: As for an example of these stealth skills? He was able to sneak into a sorority house, which had about ten people in it, entirely unheard, hell even managing to kill one of them very early into his killing spree.
Mercer: Yeah. And as for knife skills, he is easily able to kill trained police officers at close range! Police Officers are usually trained in disarming tactics, so Billy is obviously skilled and swift enough to beat them.
Necro: Billy seems to be stronger than an athletic human, and he also seems to be a very skilled manipulator, despite his insanity. As shown when Billy was able to exploit Jess's fear and paranoia to get her to kill her boyfriend, who he used as a way to hide his crimes.
Mercer: Next up, Billy seems to be very proficient with multiple weapons, the most notable of which is his glass unicorn sculpture, which he used to kill one of the girls.
Necro: Billy has actually shown peak to near super human strength levels, as shown when he pushed a hook hard enough to impale a three hundred and forty pound woman through the head easily. (The number is somewhat of a guess, but given her build, height, and body mass, that was the best number we could come up with) He was then able to deadlift her off of a ladder with one hand! (As theorized, due to the fact that he was removing the hook as he lifted her. If not, it's still impressive).
Mercer: Lenz is a very skilled psychological attacker, easily being able to trick, confuse and terrify relatively level head college girls. Hell, he was able to fool the police, actually evading capture and hiding in plain sight, having never been caught.
Necro: Despite everything, Billy is not perfect.
Mercer: Yeah, Billy is rather insane, and while he is powerful, he has no real weapons that he keeps on him, and on top of that, he fights at his best in close quarters, at least based on what is shown in the movie.
Necro: But Billy is a very skilled and stealthy serial killer, who has most certainly earned his legend.
Suddenly, the recording studio phone rings. Necro and Mercer gulp. and answer the phone.
Both: (shaky voice) H-Hello?
Voice: Hi it's me Billy...Wanna know a secret?
Necro: Sure...Billy...(please don't kill us)
Billy: I'm Going To Kill You! (Starts laughing)
Necro looks up and sees the studio door swinging shut behind Mercer's retreating form, as music begins to play over the loud speaker.
Speaker: Fuck this shit I'm out!
Necro squeals and runs out of the studio as a man in black clothes crawls out of the ceiling
Necro: OH GOD!
Billy Chapman Punishes DEATH BATTLE![]
Necro: Ah, Christmas Eve! A wonderful time of happiness and joy, at least it was for young Billy Chapman, until one fateful night.
Mercer: While driving home after a visit with his grandfather, Billy's parents stopped the car after being flagged down by a man dressed as Santa Claus. This was a mistake. A fatal mistake.
Necro: The Santa turned out to be a thief, who quickly gunned down Billy's father and then shot his mother, and upon seeing that she was still alive he...well...he sexually assaulted her. In front of her son, who had escaped to the bushes at the side of the road.
Mercer: The two brothers then went to live at an orphanage, which was run by a nun, who went by Mother Superior.
Necro: And she was absolutely horrible.
Mercer: Yeah, she was. Anyway, she abused Billy and his younger brother, Ricky, who had survived the Santa incident.
Necro: But everyone has a breaking point, and Billy came to his at a Christmas party at the supermarket at which he worked.
Mercer: So, basically, he saw some of his coworkers having sex, and he lost his shit and killed both of them. He put on a santa suit and killed his boss, then going on a killing spree, killing any one who he thought was naughty.
Mercer: And through out is killing spree, he most notably used his trusty ax, with which he can easily chop people to bits.
Necro: But Billy himself is a force to be reckoned with, as he is easily able to lift grown woman and impale her on some wall antlers with ease.
Mercer: Billy is also a threat at far range, due to him being a skilled archer, despite never having fired a bow in his life.
Necro: Billy also seems to be a very skilled and stealthy killer, due to being able to sneak in and out of houses, kill their residents and get out in a short period of time.
Mercer: Yeah, Billy seems to be able to use almost any thing as a weapon, as shown when he hangs some one with Christmas lights.
Necro: Billy is very strong and versatile, but he's far from perfect.
Mercer: Billy is mentally unstable, and despite having near superhuman strength, he does not have that level of durability, as he was killed after getting shot in the back twice. I mean, come on, he's the main bad! He just had to go out like a chump!
Necro: Billy Chapman is one force to be reckoned with, and he's one tough killer Santa.
Billy Chapman: PUNISH!
Set[]
Necro: All right, the combatants are set, and the data has been run through all possible verdicts, and a winner has been chosen.
Mercer: It's Time For a DEATH BATTLE!
Fight[]
Christmas eve is a known time of magic. But sometimes, this magic is more sinister then one might think. This magic had brought two of the most twisted men of all time together, for only one thing.
To Kill.
Jess had wanted to spend her Christmas calmly and quietly, and possibly get it on with her boyfriend. Nothing to special. But her night was about to take terrible turn. Her boyfriend had gotten frisky, and had robbed her of her shirt, leaving her cold and shirtless, when she went to let her dog out.
Just as she was about to turn around and go back into the house, she heard noise. She turned around to see her boyfriend scream and stagger towards her, his hand now coated in blood. She then saw why his hand was like that. A large chunk of flesh had been torn from his abdomen.
Jess screamed, and in her panic, she left the door open.
And that was fatal mistake.
There was a crash, and Jess turned around to see what it was.
What she saw terrified her. It was a man in a Santa suit. Seems normal enough, but in his hand he held a bloody axe. She screamed as he advanced upon, her rasing the axe, all the while chanting the word Punish, over and over again.
She got up to run away, only to run straight into a man in black clothes, who was holding a bloody hook.
"Hi Jess...it's me...Billy." The man said, as he quickly tried to stab her. She weaved aside, and avoided the stab, turing around and this time running straight into the Santa suited killer, who swung his ax down, buring it's head in her skull.
She fell backwards into Billy Lenz, dead.
The two killer locked eyes, and both came to an instant understanding. Only one of them would leave alive.
FIGHT![]
(Cue: Carol Of The Bells, Metallica)
Both Billy's moved in closer to each other, with Chapman making the first move, making a wide swing with his axe, which Lenz avoided by jumping back a few steps.
Chapman swung again, and missed, fustrating the Santa clothed killer slightly.
"Punish!" Chapman screamed, slash wildly, this time managing to nick Lenz, tearing his shirt slightly. Lenz looked down and screamed in rage, quickly running away and climbing up a ladder, which lead to the attic of the house. Chapman waited for a second and then followed after Lenz, grabbing a hold of the ladder and hoisting himself up, climbing into the attic.
Lenz looked around, and noticing a set of hooks in the attic, he grinned and began top chuckle, quickly grabbing one and hurling it at Chapman's head, and it would have hit, if not for its rusty pully, which squeaked and gave Chapman the heads up, giving him just enough time to duck out of the way of the attack.
Lenz screamed in rage and grabbed another hook, as Chapman poked his head out of the opening to the attack, and upon letting it fly, Chapman avoided it again, ducking down once more.
Chapman dropped off of the ladder, and quickly dispatched it with his axe, effectively trapping Lenz in the attic. He then turned to leave, thinking it was over, until he heard the phone start ringing.
BBBBRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!
Billy trudged over to the phone and picked it up, the receiver clicking on, starting the call.
"Hello?" Chapman asked, upon placing the phone on his ear.
"Billy? Billy? A female voice came from the other side of the phone, confusing Chapman, who was also named Billy.
"What? Who are you? What do you want?" Chapman asked.
"Oh, Billy, Oh no! No! What have you done?" The voice cried.
This confused Chapman further and now began to trigger multiple memories, memories he had tried to suppress.
Memories of Santa Claus, and his many crimes. Chapman remembered the way Santa had gunned down his father, and slit his mothers throat... Their screams echoing through his mind.
Billy Chapman screamed and smashed the phone with his axe, and began to blinding smash things.
"GO AWAY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE NAUGHTY!!!" Chapman screamed, as he smashed through a wall with his axe.
He continued to smash the house apart, until he felt a hand on his shoulder, and a spike being shoved through his ribs.
Chapman looked behind him, seeing Lenz's hazelnut eye gleaming from the shadows of destroyed wall, a glass unicorn sculpture in his hand, which was currently inside of Chapman's back.
He screamed in pain, and backhanded Lenz hard, knocking his foe back a few feet.
Billy Chapman struggled to get the unicorn out of his back, but only succeeded in driving it in deeper. He grit his teeth and turned around fully this time, seeing Lenz scrambling away from him.
Chapman gave chase, stopping upon seeing Lenz busting out of a window, and grabbing the sill, the using it as a launch pad, vaulting himself up onto the roof.
Chapman caught his breath and followed, stepping out the broken window, and jumping up, grabbing a hold of the edge of the roof, and beginning to pull himself up, he was suddenly stopped by a knife stab to the hand!
Billy screamed and pulled himself up, headbutting Lenz, who had just stabbed him in the hand.
Lenz was knocked back, but quickly recovering and rushing at Chapman, who had steadied himself against the chimney, his wounds having finally caught up with him.
Chapman raised his axe feebly and swung at Lenz, who brutally stabbed Chapman in the chest and stomach, blood spurting from each wound.
Lenz stabbed Chapman once more, who then screamed in a mixture of rage and pain and slammed both of his arms upwards, adrenaline filling his veins, knocking Lenz of balance and giving Chapman the chance he needed to raise his axe up, and slash Lenz's head downwards, splitting it like a watermelon!
Lenz's headless corpse slowly slumped over and slid down the slanted roof, then hitting the ground with a thud, chunks of red, pink and gray flesh spilling out of his corpse.
Chapman on the other hand, slide down the other side and fell onto lawn ornament, which impaled him trough the chest, killing him instantly, a spurt of blood leaving his body, decorating the snow, turning it deep crimson, the clock striking mid night, Christmas day starting as these two expired.
K.O![]
And with that, the carnage of Christmas was over. Now things would be...better. the world was safe once more. Santa was gone. And so was Lenz.
DOUBLE K.O.!
Verdict[]
Mercer: Uh, what?
Necro: Well, that was surprising. But this was indeed a draw.
Mercer: Jeez. Anyway, Yeah, we can easily give strength to Chapman, but Lenz was far swifter and more agile, meaning Chapman would have a rough time hitting him.
Necro: Yeah, And lets face it, Lenz held every mental advantage, due to actually being less insane, he was way smarter, not to mention his typical tactic of fucking with someone's head meant that Chapman was gonna be in real trouble, real fast.
Mercer: Yeah. But Chapman had actual weapons, like his axe and bow. Those weapons far out classed Lenz's glass unicorn sculpture.
Necro: Not to mention, it was unclear if either had a durability edge of each other. Lenz never took any hits in his movie, and Chapman was killed by two gunshots, so...we could not give an edge to either side.
Mercer: Besides, Lenz was not all that much weaker than Chapman. His hook feat should allow him to at least keep up with Chapman in that category. Lenz was also stealthier by a long shot, something that Chapman had never really had any kind of experience with before. Both could get the drop on people, but Lenz being able to hide in that house for as long as he did, meant that Chapman wasn't going to find him any time soon.
Necro: So, in the end, Chapman had the brawn, but Billy had the brains and the speed to keep up, and in the end, neither could really kill the other, at least not without dying themselves.
Mercer: I guess the Billy got Punished for giving everyone a Black Christmas.
Necro: This battle is a Draw.
Trivia[]
- This was supposed to be a Chapman win, but then I had second thoughts
- 1974 Lenz was used, as it's the most iconic, and I could get through his movie without vomiting. (Fuck you 2006)
- This is my first ever draw
- I hate draws
- I felt awful about killing Chapman.