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Bill Rizer & Lance Bean X Gunstars Red & Blue
Bill Rizer & Lance Bean (Contra) X Gunstars Red & Blue (Gunstar Heroes) V II
Season 4, Episode 1
Vital statistics
Air date 7/19/2015
Written by BMHKain
Directed by BMHKain
Episode guide
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Madoka Kaname X Guu Spinal X May


CONTRA X GUNSTAR HEROES! Two of Run n Gun's most well known duos finally settle the score with each other. Will Bill Rizer & Lance Bean require the Konami Code to win out, or will Red & Blue's sophisticated arsenal prove they're the best?


Wiz: Run-n-Gun games. Simply put, shoot the crap out of everything. Fight huge bosses, and usually work together as a team!

Boomstick: And how much more collaborative can you get than these duos?

Wiz: Bill Rizer, & Lance Bean, the badasses that put even Rambo to shame with the popularization of the Konami Code!

Boomstick: And Gunstars Red, and Blue, who were screwed as of Gunstar SUPER Heroes, but still had fans anyway! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it our job to analyze their Weapons, Armour and Skills to find out which team would win... A DEATH BATTLE.

Bill Rizer/Lance Bean[]

Wiz: The year is 2633. A terrorist organization has one goal in mind: Kill Humanity.

Boomstick: Gotta love now shitty plots that we're cool then!

Wiz: Red Falcon, the Terrorist Organization is filled with aliens a many. And are some of the most powerful as well!

Boomstick: Luckily, two Elite Marine Commandos also known as "CONTRA", were hired to kick alien ass! Bill Rizer & Lance Bean has defeated The Forces of Red Falcon the most times out of all protagonists of the series.

Wiz: Surprisingly, Red Falcon's leader, resembling the Xenomorph Queen doesn't have the same same as his group. He is actually called: Emporer Demon Java, and his heart is called: Emperor Demon Evil Heart Gomera Mosking.

Boomstick: Not to mention so many things have been changed from the Japanese Version to the rest of the world as the chip is different EVERYWHERE ELSE! Bill & Lance are as badass as you get for run n gun duos, but the two have their favorites.

Wiz: Both Bill Rizer & Lance Bean start off with the standard Rifle, the most basic weapon of all CONTRA. The Machine Gun just has a faster firing rate, the Laser does high damage when firing straight.

Boomstick: The Spread Gun: AKA "The BEST Power-up EVAH!" shoots ammo at FIVE directions, each of them, A DEATH TRAP!!!

Wiz: The Flame Gun can spiral straight like the laser, or have its rounds shot then explode in multiple directions.

Boomstick: Homing Missiles target foes without needing to aim, while Crusher Missiles do massive damage at close range.

Wiz: But while weapons in Contra have use, there are also utility that can be used, such as Rapid Fire, which makes the rate of fire faster than it already is.

Boomstick: Barriers are like stars in Mario, they make Bill, and Lance invincible for a bit...

Wiz: Because Smart Bombs and Nukes behave the same, he could only choose one...

Boomstick: But the choice was DAMN EASY! Because Smart Bombs can only be used by touching one, we were forced to use the Nuke.

Wiz: The Nuke, unlike the Smartbomb, is collectible, meaning it can be used at anytime. Just access it in your arsenal, and use. Unlike the Smart Bomb which can destroy enemies on screen, Nukes can go just a bit farther as technology of 16-bit games allow so. For this fight, both Bill & Lance will only have one each due to its destructive power.

Boomstick: But that's a small price to pay! They annihilated the most Aliens, took out Java many times, sent Red Falcon to hell, and completed their mission to save New Zealand! I will be Damned if I find a flaw for these two!

Wiz: Well, like Madoka Kaname before her, there are flaws, but not many. Even with the Konami Code, Contra is hard as balls. It's NOT EVEN THE HARDEST GAME, and a character from what is, lost to Leonardo of TMNT. There are threats outside of Red Falcon the duo never touched, and finally, its legacy ended up being total trash. Neo Contra, Hard Corps: UPRISING, basically any game in the franchise after the SNES, and Genesis.

Boomstick: But if you like Contra that much, It is going to be a bloodbath, as these two Alien murdering Rambo-Lookalikes have company!

(First Boss Defeated, & Stage complete theme plays.)

Gunstars Red & Blue[]

Wiz: It had a legacy... It had everything blown up... Such were caused by... THE GUNSTAR HEROES.

Boomstick: OH FUCK YEAH! Gunstar Heroes was one of my favorite childhood moments when I had a Genesis! This is one of the best reasons why Ge-

Wiz: No, Boomstick, the Genesis LOST. Remember?

Boomstick: AW! Could somebody give a fan of 1995 a break?!

Wiz: ... Back on topic, the protagonists of said game is none other than Brothers Red, and Blue, who were trying to get the 4 gems.

Boomstick: After they succeeded, the two bros found they have been sabotaged by Antagonist Group EMPIRE, who, after Grey kidnapped Yellow, their only sister, they went on the road to destiny as I call it to BLOW UP AS MUCH SHIT AS POSSIBLE! I mean, look at all these enemies! They last forever!

Wiz: The level eventually did end with a final clash with Smash Daisaku, whom his Kamikaze tendencies, and blaster still weren't enough to take out Red and Blue.

Boomstick: But our heroes, sweating like mad, somehow had the nerve to throw all 4 gems at Grey's possession to free Yellow! She would be better off necking with her other brother, Green, who was brain washed by EMPIRE anyway!

Wiz: After one last bout with the rest of the initial antagonists, the two fought Golden Silver, and after that bout, guess who sacrifices his life to save earth..?

(Seven Force Appears.)

Boomstick: Yep! Green! He sacrificed himself fighting what's left of Golden Silver! Yellow was heartbroken to see her crush die by the sword! Well... Not really a sword but you get my point.

Wiz: Surprisingly that's not the end of the story, but-

Boomstick: BUT GUNSTAR SUPER HEROES IS TOTAL SHIT! Blue is a Brash, and Arrogant PRICK, and Red just believes what should be right is right. Also Yellow is more Bishojoish...

Wiz: No! That's NOT what I was going to say at all! What I was going to say is... We decided the two needed arsenal of their own, which is a fusion of Gunstar Super Heroes' arsenal for each character, and the original Gunstar Heroes's ability to combine gunpods.

Boomstick: Red's Gun uses a Free Shot system that allows her to aim at 4 directions while being able to move. Her three Ammo are: Force Shot (SUPER shot Version: Huge bursts of energy.), Flame Shot (SUPER shot Version: A giant EXPLOSION), & Chaser Shot (SUPER shot Version: A seeking Laser) (All three can combine two at a time.), & has physical prowess like an acrobat!

Wiz: NEVER... CALL... RED... A GIRL... AGAIN. Blue wields a Fixed Shot system that allows for 360 degree shooting, but can't move. His three Ammo are: Lightning Shot (SUPER shot Version: a HUGE Laser), Chaser Shot (SUPER shot Version: A seeking Laser), Flame Shot (SUPER shot Version: A giant EXPLOSION), (All three can combine two at a time.), And has physical prowess that isn't like a humans.

Boomstick: In GUNSTAR SUPER HEROES, SUPER shots require Energy to use. While they can't combine, they have energy bars that can hold a couple of powerful ammo, or can be held for a short time, making for an alternative use for the gunpods!

Wiz: Red and Blue's Physical strength is probably on par with their SUPER shot abilities. Yes, THEY'RE THAT STRONG. I mean, they can damage with their shin kicks, body slams, Throw opponents, punch, DAMMIT, they can jump like a BLACK Elite from Halo.

Boomstick: Did you call them Masters of Athleticism? MORE LIKE MASTER OF THE IMPOSSIBLE, LIKE ROBOCOP!!!

Wiz: While Red and Blue have no previous military experience, they seem to know what they're doing in combat. Their inventive weaponry has no real need for ammo, and they fought many a variety of foes.

Boomstick: They took down Seven Force, TWICE! Won fist fights with Orange, a muscle bound badass that can annihilate foes with just brute force! They even bested Black, a former scientist now gambler!

Wiz: In fact, in Gunstar Super Heroes, Yellow let Grey kidnap her so Green cen terminate Him. The two become the new antagonists. It's unknown if anyone in the cast survived by the end of Gunstar Super Heroes.

Boomstick: In the regular ending, Red, and Blue defeated Golden Silver Temporarily, where Green and his Seven Force Mech sacrificed himself for his what could've been allies.

Wiz: But even Grey almost survived in another timezone...

Boomstick: Red isn't Military folk, and Blue isn't either.

Wiz: While Red follows the rules, Blue just wants to do his own thing, and if Gunstar Super Heroes taught us something, it's that he's forced to follow the rules. Something he rarely does and argues with red all the time about.

Boomstick: But no worries, Blue fans! This flaw isn't all that bad as he eventually complies with Red, and the two finally work together in the Hard Mode difficulty!

Wiz: You see, even on the Expert level difficulty of the first game, you'll always get the same end, where Green sacrifices himself. In the hardest difficulty of Super Heroes, Blue admits his love to Red as they know they'll die. Boomstick get a hold of yourself.

Boomstick: Finally, their SUPER ammo runs out quick as consequence of using that ammo. And as a rule for SUPER ammo, you can't combine 2 gunpods to increase the bar for both ammo units.

Wiz: Red & Blue had a great history. But if it weren't for SEGA's failure in the Console wars, we would see more great works by them. For now, they'll have to fight Team CONTRA...

Boomstick: Ain't that the truth...

(A blue variant of the GUNSTAR HEROES logo slams to the ground, Both Red, and Blue do their victory poses, & the top right corner of the logo twinkles.)

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At Gunstar HQ, Brother's Red & Blue were having some much needed rest after defeating Golden Silver...

Blue: Man, what a real pain. It's been 4 Months tops, and no foe has intruded earth with an ultimatum even!

Red, Acknowledging Blue's point, simply said...

Red: Yeah... Pinky Roader and her cronies have no use. Orange would be too easy. Green's dead. and Black must be gambling with the devil. I'll be stunned If I hear of at least one new foe...

Blue: I agree.

Suddenly, Gunstar Yellow alerts the two of a new threat.

Yellow: Alert! Alert! Two rogue gunners have teleported from another dimension for unknown causes. Be on the lookout for their guns. Also, their firing is on par with ours. PRECEED WITH CAUTION! Repeat: PRECEED WITH CAUTION!

Blue: So I take it we finally have a mission?

Red: We'll have to investigate. With me?

Blue: Let's do this!

As Red & Blue Searched all over, they felt a gun to their back. No, more like a rifle; a gun is too small.

It came from two Rambo-Like soldiers.

Bill Rizer: One false move, and you're dead.

Lance Bean: Drop your weapons, kids.

But as both Red & Blue their guns, both elbowed Bill, and Lance, and threw them. Finally, Red & Blue picked up their guns but Bill & Lance some their rifles at the gifted youths.

Bill Rizer: You aren't even part of a Japanese Military Branch.

Lance Bean: You have no idea what it is like fighting actual Military Professional.

Blue: Hey! Only I'm allowed to act like a brash and arrogant dude!

Red: BLUE!

Blue: Sorry...


All four combatants fired away, shells, dancing while being used. Both teams were on equal verges of victory; no winning, no losing.

Blue: Dang! We fought harder than this, and nobodies winning!

Red: We should try and use our physical prowess to take them out.

Blue: I'll close in on them, and burst my Lightning. You do your own thing.

Red: At least you're acting like a Gunstar...

Both Bill, and Lance used their Laser, but it two was being swatted.

Blue used his Lightning Shot to close in on the first opponent, while Red used his Force Shot on the other. The two Marines knew they no longer had the upper hand as the two Gunstars were closing in...

Blue shot his Lightning beam at Lance, while Red threw Bill.

Bill was thrown far, while Lance was zapped while followed by a giant fireball, ending the chain of attacks Blue caused.

Bill & Lance though, got up too easily...

Red: How in the world are you still alive?!

Blue: Man... This is worse than a pain!

The two marines said nothing; they simply prepared their Spread Guns. The Gunstars prepared a combo with Red using a Force/Chaser combo, and Blue using a Flame/Chaser combo.

Blue: Let's do this, Red!

Ree: You just read my mind!

But at the last moment, Bill, and Lance combined their Spread with their Homing missiles, and fired away. While the Chaser combos were doing their best to swat the missiles, they were too fast, and ultimately overwhelmed the Gunstars.

Until Blue combined his Chaser with Flame, and spared him, and his ally. But they were dangerously low on health.

Red: Blue! How the heck did you do THAT?!

Blue: Obviously you can do the same, just not as effectively.

Blue shot Bill Rizer, and burnt him alive. Lance wasn't even upset. He retrieved Bill's Nuke and threw one at Red.

Red Screamed. His body was vaporized, and there was nothing Blue could do. It is just Lance Bean, and Gunstar Blue... Blue created a Chaser/Lightning combo, while Lance prepared his Crusher Missiles, and what's left of his Homing Missiles. Their final clash began...

Blue shot his Chaser/Lightning, while Lance bit his lip, and used his Crusher Missiles. Blue was shot mercilessly, and tried to use his weapon again, but it was like dying fighting. Lance then combined his remaining Homing Missiles with his a Spread Gun, and forced Blue into town. Lance used his last nuke to obliterate TEAM GUNSTAR for good...


In a ruined abyss, Lance simply blasted an opening and returned to base. Bill Rizer: TOD: 1:48. Died with Honours.



Wiz: This was closer than one thinks. Both teams have expert use with guns. Both are very dangerous, and both fought many powerful foes over the years. The deciding factor, was experience.

Boomstick: Bill, and Lance are some of the most powerful of all duos. They took out a friggen head that caught them by surprise!

Wiz: While Red & Blue slowed down Golden Silver, which is basically a God of Destruction, they could only affect the gems, not the God of a Destruction himself.

Boomstick: Red Falcon as a whole was beaten by Contra's MAIN PROTAGONISTS nearly each and every time! And even if they didn't, someone did it for them!

Wiz: Plus, Bill, and Lance are both more properly trained, & expert Gurrelia warriors.

Boomstick: Where Red & Blue are practically High School Dropouts!

Wiz: Bill & Lance are also GungHo at their job.

Boomstick: While Red & Blue are like Biff, and Gary; two people who LOVE TO HATE EACH OTHER!

Wiz: CLEARLY, The Original Contra for the NES is the Harder Game, thus, ceasing any further needed reason to state what we need to say.

Boomstick: What's Red, & Blue, & Black all over? Opponents crushed by Team CONTRA!

Wiz: The Winners are... Bill Rizer, & Lance Bean!

Next Time[]

Boomstick: Next time on DEATH BATTLE...

(Cues Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus R OST - Blue Water Blue Sky)

Johnny: May. There's somebody trying to murder our crew... Hurry up and finish him off at once.

May: Can we make out if I succeed?

Johnny: Why the hell not...?

(At the Mayship.)

May: Oh, where are you, you mo- OH SH-

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