Bill Cipher VS Mephisto is a What-If? Death Battle by DBDoctor13. It features Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls fighting against Mephisto from Marvel Comics in a battle of two demonic devilish dealmakers.
Description: It’s the Prince of Lies vs The Beast With Just One Eye. Will Mephisto give Bill Cipher no more days? Or will the Triangle Guy of Gravity Falls be too much for the Lord of Hell to handle?
INTRODUCTION:[]
(Music: Wiz & Boomstick- Brandon Yates)
Wiz: Bill Cipher; the Triangular Terror of Gravity Falls.
Boomstick: And Mephisto; Marvel Comic's literal devil incarnate!
Wiz: They are the oldest form of sin; offering pleasures in return for a favor. A favor which will inevitably lead to the damnation of the entire planet.
Boomstick: Sounds kinda bleak when you put it like that! So anyway, let’s have them beat the shit out of each other until one of them’s dead! He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick!
Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skill to find out who would win a Death Battle!
BILL CIPHER:[]
Wiz: In the mid-east of Oregon lies a location known as Gravity Falls; a nice community to settle down with your family. Home to a quaint dinner, a bowling alley, a local lake, and other things one would usually expect to find in this area.
Boomstick: But if you were to dig a bit beneath the surface, you’d find some REALLY F***ED UP S**T!
Wiz: For some reason, Gravity Falls was home to all kinds of paranormal phenomena. Among those included The Multi-Bear, gnomes, and the Gremloblin. Nobody could explain where these monsters came from or why. Even the smartest man in town, Standford Pines could not learn the attraction these oddities had to this seemingly idyllic town.
Boomstick: But things changed when Stanford met the entity known as Bill Cipher.
(BILL CIPHER: Hiya, Smart Guy. STANFORD PINES: AGH! BILL CIPHER: Woah, don’t have a heart attack! You’re not 92 yet!)
Wiz: Little is known about the upbringing of this creature. But what is known is that he came from the reality known as the second dimension; a world that he described as being full of flat people and flat dreams.
Boomstick: So bored shitless with his dimension, Bill decided to make like P!NK and burn it all down! After discovering the nightmare realm as well as our own, Bill tried to merge both of these universes together to create chaos throughout our reality.
Wiz: Problem was, Bill only existed in the mindscape in our reality unless willingly summoned. But that changed when he met Stanford Pines and tricked the investigator into thinking Bill was a wise muse who selected the smart Pines brother to bear more knowledge than any other human. Now with an unknowing ally, Bill and Stanford built an interdimensional portal that would bring Bill into our reality. Eventually, Stanford found out and attempted to seal the rift to prevent the merging of worlds.
Boomstick: But Bill eventually escaped and went on to torture Stanford’s family as well. Wow! I mean; kids are a problem, but that’s a little too much.
Wiz: Befitting an ancient deity of Bill’s nature, it’s only natural that he comes with omnipotent powers. Bill can travel to near-instantious speeds, shoot lasers from his hands, and grow his body to ginormous proportions. Allow me to demonstrate. DUMMI!
DUMMI floats in sighing as Wiz pulls out the size-changing flashlight.
DUMMI: I am here to serve your cruel means.
Wiz: Thanks to some tinkering as well as from a… helpful source…
SHMEBULOK (O.S.): Shmebulock!
Wiz: I have recreated the size-changing flashlight used by the Pines Family. This will grow DUMMI to the size that Bill had…
Boomstick suddenly grabs the flashlight.
Boomstick: YOINK! HAHA! SUPERSIZE ME!
Boomstick clicks the flashlight, and nothing happens. He starts shaking it confused.
Boomstick: C’mon you stupid… I think this thing is busted…
The flashlight shines on Boomstick’s hand as it suddenly grows large, puncturing a hole in the roof.
FRED (O.S.): MY LEG!!!!
Boomstick looks nervous as DUMMI makes a laughing with tears emoji face and Wiz slaps his forehead in disbelief.
Boomstick: Well… I guess this is going to make going to the bathroom awkward. For a number of reasons.
Wiz: Moving on, Bill Cipher is a very powerful being which is natural considering he has the power to shape reality however he wishes. He can change the flow of gravity, reality, and time however he wishes to. Bill is also powerful enough to create pocket dimensions that are fueled by a person’s dreams and desires which he can then observe whenever he wishes. Bill Cipher is also said to be able to destroy the entire universe as confirmed by both Bill on his AMA Chat, and the Time Baby when Bill took over Gravity Falls. But because all Bill wanted to do was party, he just killed the Time Baby on the spot.
Boomstick: Wait, seriously?! HOLY SHIT! I thought this was a family-friendly Disney Cartoon!
Wiz: Bill was even able to keep up with Mabel and Dipper Pines. It might not be impressive chasing down kids, but Mable was able to drive and react while reaching speeds of Mach 1 or 767 Miles Per-Hour. But more impressively, Bill himself stated that should he escape the bubble containing his weirdness to Gravity Falls, he would easily be able to reach Saturn in just two seconds. Meaning that Bill is possibly capable of traveling and reacting at 1,504,944,000,000 Miles Per-Hour.
Boomstick: He’s also extremely durable, surviving a laser shot to the eye and even having his eye ripped out by a dinosaur. Man, that was a sentence. Plus, given that he survived burning his own reality, it’s safe to say that Bill can survive the end of an entire universe. Which also means he could destroy a universe.
Wiz: But it wasn’t just his raw power that made Bill a dangerous threat. His greatest tool is his silver tongue which let him trick people into making deals with him in exchange for more power. He’s matched wits with Stanford Pines in playing interdimensional chess, and even assisted him in building an inter-dimensional portal. By using such intelligence, Bill is almost always able to trick people into making deals with him and thereby gaining more new abilities. The only catch is that Bill is unable to lie about anything his deal entails. So instead, he’ll just find a means of twisting the meaning of said deal to his advantage. Like when he offered to help Dipper Pines in exchange for a puppet. Dipper initially thought Bill meant a sock puppet like the ones Mabel was making, but Bill actually meant a puppet to control which allowed the triangular demon to possess Dipper, leaving the Pines Boy as a ghost that could not be seen or heard by anyone.
Boomstick: Aside from that, Bill has the powers of shapeshifting, intangibility, regeneration, mind-reading, duplication, pyrokinesis, electrokinetic powers, telekinesis, summoning, teleportation, transmutation, portal creation, precognition and weirdness waves.
Wiz: Bill Cipher seems to be rather fond of his shape-shifting abilities. He can turn his eye into weapons, stretch his arms to ridiculous lengths, and even add more arms if he feels like it. Referring back to Bill’s final offer to Stanford, Bill mentioned he could theoretically grow as big as Earth. Besides that, Bill can shoot lasers from any part of his body and even create electricity and fire. But perhaps his most devious form of power is his weirdness waves which have literally random effects on anyone and anything. One such effect is the bubbles of pure madness.
Wiz pulls out a giant bazooka of some sort.
Boomstick: So, you’re gonna test that thing on DUMMI, or…
Wiz shoots Boomstick with a single bubble. Boomstick’s eyes go wide as he screams in terror. We see him change art-styles from anime to his 2017 art-style, to silent film style, and even live-action form. In the regular animation, Boomstick rips off his clothes, leaving him screaming and running away in his underwear.
Wiz: As shown, weirdness waves have literally no rhyme-or-reason when Bill is involved.
Boomstick: Bill can also summon anything such as deer teeth, a constantly screaming head, and a flying car for him and his friends. Even though Bill can already fly on his own. Huh. Well, he can also change others such as giving people a bulbous head, turning them into stone or gold, turning people into tapestries, or even rearranging a person’s face into… well...
(Bill is shown rearranging the holes on Preston Northwest’s face as his horrified screams are muffled.)
Wiz: Bill may also be aware of… um… us, the audience. When Bill took over Gravity Falls, he created a new intro and changed the subtitle of ‘Created by Alex Hirsch’ to ‘Created by Bill Cipher.’ But in spite of this power, Bill is not invincible. As we have hinted at previously, Bill’s weirdness seems to be only contained to Gravity Falls. But Bill has said were he able to get out of the confines of the Oregon Town, he’d spread his weirdness across the universe.
Boomstick: On top of that, the dude is very arrogant and cocky. Plus, what kind of all-seeing eye can get poked or harmed?! Not to mention that using certain ingredients along with unicorn hair will create a barrier he cannot destroy. Plus, Bill himself has stated that he’s just pure mad and crazy despite how much knowledge he has. And while he can see into the future, he was unable to predict Stanley and Stanford Pine’s plan to impersonate each other and trap Bill inside Stanley’s head; allowing Stanford to wipe Stanley’s Memories and Bill with it, ending the reality-warping monster’s life and stopping Weirdmageddon forever.
Wiz: Despite his faults, Bill Cipher was an extraordinarily dangerous dimensional god. In fact, many people have come to believe that Bill was not actually defeated. In his final moments before disintegration, Bill gave a final cryptic backwards message. Not to mention that given other bits of lore from Gravity Falls Media, it’s entirely possible that Bill Cipher is still alive somewhere in the multiverse. In another place and time. So if you are visited by this omnipotent deal-maker, do yourself a favor and just say “no” to whatever deal he offers you.
(BILL CIPHER: Remember: Reality is an illusion. The universe is a hologram. Buy gold. Bye!)
MEPHISTO:[]
Wiz: When the Silver Surfer defended Earth from Galactus, the world-eater punished him by banishing his herald to our tiny insignificant planet. Having enjoyed the semi-freedom of surfing the cosmos and finding planets to satiate his master’s appetite, the Surfer got inevitably bored and wished to see the cosmos once more. Especially when he rediscovered he once had a life and a beloved he had left behind to save his planet from being consumed by Galactus.
Boomstick: After throwing a hissy fit that blocked communication and shut down machinery, a perfect partner would choose to help the Surfer for a price. Everyone’s favorite problem-solver; SATAN!
(SQUIRLEY THE SQUIRREL (Cheerfully): Hail Satan!)
Wiz: This was Mephisto; the devil incarnate himself. However, the true origins of Mephisto are shrouded in mystery. Some say that he was created by a primordial entity’s experiments. Others say that he was created to fill the void left behind by the death of the Elder gods. But whatever the case, as long as sin has existed, so has Mephisto.
Boomstick: So in total, he’s just a huge prick? Makes sense. If the Devil were real, I’m sure he’d be trying to pull a Children of the Vault on you every single day. Or, maybe… BE FUCKING POWERFUL!
(MEPHISTO: Johnny Blaze… caught your show today. Just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed watching you ride. JOHNNY BLAZE: Oh, thanks. MEPHISTO: Perhaps you’ll ride for me one day. JOHNNY BLAZE: You run a show? MEPHISTO: Greatest show on Earth.)
Wiz: Mephisto has shown great durability such as the time Black Panther ripped the hell-lord’s heart from out of his chest. Or survived an onslaught from the Silver Surfer; whose power has the potential to destroy entire solar systems! He uses power from his own realm, which when he is present there, only increases Mephisto’s power tenfold. That’s not to say he’s weak when he’s outside of his dimension, but Mephisto has been frequently recorded to be at his highest potential when inside his realm rather than away from it.
Boomstick: And seeing as how he’s… y’know, The Devil. He’s got a LOT of crazy magic on his side. Enough that he could kill the combined forces of both Doctor Doom and Doctor Strange. Christ!
Wiz: Befitting a monster of his demonic origin, Mephisto utilizes various magics which grant him augmentation of his strength, the power of levitation, teleportation, mystical energy blasts, invisibility, matter manipulation, telekinesis, time manipulation, image projection, and the ability to create inter-dimensional apertures… essentially being able to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. He’s even able to bend reality to his will such as when he infamously erased Peter Parker and Mary Jane’s marriage from history in what I have mathematically determined to be the most convoluted and pettiest explanation in comics made solely for the purpose of covering the asses of the editors who wanted Peter and Mary Jane apart despite readers saying otherwise.
Boomstick: Or perhaps when he made Beast into a normal human again. So just imagine how much more powerful he is when he’s chillin’ in hell.
Wiz: No need to. At one point, Mephisto battled the mighty cosmic god known as Galactus who had just finished consuming a planet and was in the process of converting hell into energy to absorb for sustenance. The battle between these two was left at a standstill. Using the math and calculations needed for destroying a planet, Galactus would have to be battling with about 2 trillion, trillion, trillion joules of energy. And Mephisto survived to a standstill. Though he did concede and gave Galactus his herald back in exchange for not consuming hell.
Boomstick: I’m actually surprised he let him live, y’know… being the devil and all, you’d think he’d try to double-cross him. Well, despite not being able to beat big-tall-and-goofy-looking, Mephisto has kicked his fair share of asses including both the Avengers and The Defenders. He even once managed to kill Thor himself. And Thor can destroy planets! No wonder Loki thinks so respectfully of Senpai Mephisto.
Wiz: And as mentioned, Mephisto is just as deadly inside his realm with the ability to appear however he wishes and transform to his dark heart’s content. He’s pulled The Thing’s soul from his body by peeling his rocky skin away, corrupted the minds of the citizens of Latveria every time Doctor Doom failed to save his mother from Mephisto, and survived hits from the previously mentioned Silver Surfer and Johnny Storm. Johnny Storm’s flames are said to be as hot as stars, or over a few thousand degrees Celsius!
Boomstick: And Mpehisto took it on like a champ! But of course, being the Devil, it’s really hard to kill him. You unfortunately can’t go and kick him in the nuts and be done with it. Trust me; I tried. It didn’t work out.
Wiz: Wait, what the- ugh. Nevermind. The point being is that even if you destroy his body outside his realm, he can just regrow it. On the rare occurrence that he is inside his realm and his body is destroyed, he’ll just be able to create another one.
Boomstick: So he’s pretty much invincible then? I guess it’s like Mamma Boomstick always said; never trust the devil or he’ll screw you pretty hard.
Wiz: Well, despite all his power, Mephisto is not entirely unbeatable. His powers do come from hell, so it’s assumed especially given how he was willing to bargain with Galactus, that if you remove Mephisto’s realm, you remove his power. The demon also tends to be very cocky such as when he trapped the fallen angel Zarathos with Johnny Blaze to create the Ghost Rider; a decision he’s regretted ever since. Then there’s also the fact that Mephisto is unable to read the minds of any sentient beings. Also, Mephisto is not easily able to take souls unless they are first corrupted. And unless you’re being written in a very lazy way, nobody’s going to trust a guy who looks like him.
Boomstick: But in spite of these weaknesses, there’s a reason why Mephisto is known as the Devil. The dude truly is the embodiment of a giant prick.
(THOR: How do we know that you will not ensnare us all, Mephisto? You are well known for not following through on your own bargains. MEPHISTO: I follow my bargains to the letter. I cannot help it if others misinterpret what was said.)
DEATH BATTLE![]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It’s time for a DEATH BATTTTLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
PRE-FIGHT[]
(Music: Noddegamdriew Erom Eno- Therewolf Media)
In Gravity Falls, the town is set ablaze as fires burn in the far distance. Bill Cipher has returned again and is in the process of transforming people into statues, signs, garbage bins, or mailboxes. The triangular terror laughs, admiring his handiwork. Over at the Gleeful Residence, Gideon Gleeful is in the process of drawing a pentagram with lit candles situated at each of the pentagram’s intersections. Bud Gleeful opens the door.
BUD GLEEFUL: Gideon! It’s time to go, son!
GIDEON: No can do, old man! The Pines Brothers are gone, the Pine Twins are back in California, Soos is doing a talk-show appearance out of town, and Wendy’s looking for colleges. That leaves me as the only one who can stop Bill!
Gideon holds up a book titled ‘THE DEVIL AND YOU: HOW TO GET THE DEVIL TO WORK FOR YOU! BY IAM ADEMON’.
GIDEON: I figure because Bill would tear me to pieces again, we just need another omnipotent being to take him out.
Gideon points an angry finger at his father.
GIDEON: SO GET OUT OF HERE, OLD MAN!!!
Bud looks around nervously and closes the door. Gideon spreads his hands out and begins chanting.
GIDEON: Natas traeh I! Natas traeh I! Natas evol I! Natas evol I! Natas evol I! Natas evol I!
A large wall of flame shoots out from the ground followed by a booming demonic laughter. Gideon looks up to see Mephisto standing there before him. The Prince of Lies smiles at the young boy.
MEPHISTO: Hello, Gideon. You are quite the resourceful and talented young man. What is it you require that you asked for my aid?
GIDEON (Nervously): Well… uh… you see, sir… um… there’s this guy named Bill Cipher. He’s wrecking our town and I was wondering… could you… err… get rid of him, please?
Mephisto rubs his chin with a long-clawed finger before deciding.
MEPHISTO: Very well, but I require something from you, Gideon.
GIDEON: Yes. Anything you want!
MEPHISTO (Sinisterly): Good.
The two shake hands and Mephisto pulls Gideon’s soul from his body, causing his physical form to collapse.
GIDEON’S SOUL: What the-?!
Before the short psychic fraudster can finish, demonic hands and tentacles spring up from the ground and begin pulling Gideon down into hell.
GIDEON’S SOUL (Struggling): No! No! No! No! No!
But it is no use and Gideon is pulled into Mephisto’s realm. The original sin laughs at Gideon’s misfortune.
MEPHISTO: Oh, what sweet suffering your soul will bring to my realm, Gideon Gleeful.
The ruler of hell looks out the window, observing Bill Cipher still causing pure chaos.
MEPHISTO: Still, I suppose I should make some space for my inevitable rule of this dimension.
The demon teleports outside right in front of Bill. The one-eyed dimensional god looks Mephisto up and down.
BILL CIPHER: So who are you supposed to be? An overgrown elf that got stuck in a tanning booth for too long? Ha-ha-ha! I’m just kidding, I know who you are…
Bill begins to project various images of Mephisto from different shows, cartoons, games, and comics across his body.
BILL CIPHER: …Mephisto.
Bill’s body returns to normal.
MEPHISTO: I’m afraid your identity eludes me, despite you being familiar with whom I am. Regardless, I must now vanquish you to fulfill my end of the bargain I have just made.
Bill suddenly appears behind Mephisto.
BILL CIPHER: Oh, that’s rich! Let's be honest, you go back on your promise so many times by now that it's considered a trope. Even if you were honoring your bargain, you think you can stop me?! Hey, I got a better idea! Why don’t you join me and my band of inter-dimensional misfits? You can make as many "deals" as your non-beating heart desires.
Mephisto slaps Bill away.
MEPHISTO: I am Mephisto; the Lord of Hell! You will not fool me with your gibbering insanity!
BILL CIPHER (Laughing): I’m insane either way, Big M! That's my whole shtick!
Bill pretends to roll up sleeves, pushing his arm "muscles" upwards.
BILL CIPHER: But if you'd rather die in complete agony and humiliation, I can provide that too!
FIGHT![]
Bill shoots energy blasts at Mephisto who teleports around easily dodging the blasts. Mephisto fires magical blasts of energy at Bill who simply summons a giant slingshot from the ground. The energy fires into the rubber band, pulling it back until it is shot off into space.
MEPHISTO (Dumbfounded): What-?!
Bill suddenly looms over behind the Devil. Mephisto turns around to see Bill dressed like Kenshiro from Fist of the North Star. Bill sprouts multiple arms as he continuously strikes Mephisto’s body. The Prince of Darkness looks bored and unimpressed as Bill continues striking his body every-which-way.
BILL CIPHER: Rrata-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-TAA!
Bill finally finishes and backs off.
MEPHISTO (Bored): Are you done.
BILL CIPHER: As a matter of fact, I am. Because just like that kid with the spirit on his back…
Bill points at Mephisto.
BILL CIPHER: Omae wa mou shindeiru.
Mephisto raises an eyebrow.
MEPHISTO: Wha-
The top half of Mephisto’s body explodes, sending blood flying over Bill’s body as he looks stoically. However, the top part of Mephisto suddenly regrows itself as the demon has a mixture of confusion, anger, and pain.
MEPHISTO (Screaming): SULFUR’S STREAMS!!! DID ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE ALREADY AN ANNOYING BLIGHT ON THIS REALITY?!
BILL CIPHER: All the time.
Bill punches Mephisto in the face and sends him flying into Scuttlebutt Island, leaving a massive crater. Bill lands on top of the crater and angrily stares down at Mephisto, recreating the Invincible “Think” meme.
BILL CIPHER: I’ve been watching you forever, Mephisto! You can’t win this Death Battle! THINK, SATAN!
Mephisto growls as he lunges at Bill only for the triangular terror to stretch his body as Mephisto flies directly into there. The camera zooms into the area and we find Mephisto walking through an inky dark void. The devil notices a light up ahead in the distance and walks towards it. As he does, we can hear a piano playing in the background, accompanied by Bill’s voice.
BILL CIPHER (V.O.) (Singing): We’ll… meet again. Don’t know where, don’t know when. Oh, I know we’ll meet again, some sunny day!
Mephisto walks through the light, briefly covering his eyes with his arm due to the intense brightness. As he lowers his arm, he stares out in complete disbelief. He is now in a large convention center with various vendors, cosplayers, and other people strewn about. Except they’re not people. They’re all Bill Cipher dressed in various cosplays and costumes.
BILL CIPHERS (Simultaneously): Klat ydren! Klat ydren! Klat ydren! Klat ydren! Klat ydren!
Suddenly, the Ciphers all turn to Mephisto. The Demon is at a loss for words as he stares confused at the collection of Bills. At that moment, the real Bill Cipher floats above his duplicates and holds out his hand forward.
BILL CIPHER: Onward, my army of nerds and weebs! He’s clearly distracted by cosplay!
The Cipher clones rush towards the devil as Mephisto’s fists tighten hard.
MEPHISTO (Screaming): ENOUGH!!!
Mephisto starts shooting fire from his fingertips as a Bill Cipher dressed like Old Man McGucket begins playing a rendition of The Devil Went Down to Georgia on a violin. Mephisto vaporizes him and continues his onslaught. He fires another fire blast which we see heading towards a Bill Cipher dressed like Shadow the Hedgehog who easily dodges it.
BILL CIPHER SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG: Ha! Nice try, Monster! But I’m the-
Mephisto vaporizes the Shadow the Hedgehog Bill with another fire-blast.
BILL CIPHER (Annoyed): Oh, c’mon! I was saving that one for later!
MEPHISTO (Roaring): SIIIIIILLLLLLEEEEEENNNNNNCCCCCEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Mephisto sends out a giant wave of flame, engulfing everything in demonic hellfire. Outside, we see Bill freaking out as his body twitches, randomly morphs into various forms, and begins flying ever which way.
BILL CIPHER (Screaming): Ezirp-on a evresed uoy! Gniyas m’i tahw raeh ot esrever ni siht tup ohw sdren eht ot soduk osla! Mrof siht tog tsuj yllaretil I! Otsihpem, ydob ym fo tuo teg!
Bill’s body expels Mephisto as Bill pats himself down.
BILL CIPHER: Oh, yuck! Gross! You taste like brimstone, dirty laundry, beer, and shame rolled into one nasty package!
MEPHISTO: I have lived since time began, seen the sins of creatures beyond the universe… but what the hell are you?!
BILL CIPHER (Softly): Mephisto… my son. It’s me, you’re Dad. I’ve come back from the store after getting my cigarettes.
MEPHISTO (Confused): What the fu-
Before he can finish, Mephisto is knocked in the back of the head by Bill’s elongated arm, complete with a K.O. Bell ringing.
BILL CIPHER (Laughing): Fooled you! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! It’s funny how dumb you are! Like I said; I’ve been watching you for quite a while. Kind of hard not to considering you're the literal devil and all. But you still have less of a chance of beating me than you would against Doctor Manhattan!
Bill fires a laser from his eye that knocks Mephisto backwards. The devil bounces across the streets of Gravity Falls until he finally comes to a stop. Bill floats down laughing at his misfortune.
BILL CIPHER (Laughing): Guess I don’t know my own power!
Mephisto growls and screams, opening up his cape as millions of demons fly out from there. Bill looks slightly nervous.
BILL CIPHER (O.S.): Bill? It’s Bill! Can you hear me?
BILL CIPHER: On your left.
A bunch of portals open revealing an army of Bill Ciphers ala Avengers: Endgame. The camera follows the Bills leading up to the one who started this battle.
BILL CIPHER: CIPHERS! Assemble!
The Bill Ciphers run forward, colliding with the demonic forces. Some get into sissy slap fights, others grow big and crush the demons, it’s all a giant madhouse. Mephisto tears through some of the Bill clones and raises his clawed hand. One of the Bills turns around in time for Mephisto to sink his claws into Bill’s eyeball. The devil pulls back his claw and removes Bill’s eye. The now-eyeless Bill shrieks and puts his hands where his eye used to be.
BILL CIPHER (Screaming): OH GOD, NOT THE EYE!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TAKES TO REGROW THAT?!
Bill waves his hand and the world begins flipping around like it was inside a laundry dryer. We zoom out from Earth to find that indeed, the world is spinning around in a spiral loop. On the surface, people are being thrown up and down into the air along with a few of the demons that Mephisto summoned. However, most of the other Bill Ciphers and the demons that can fly are unaffected by this. Finally, Bill regrows his eye and glares at Mephisto. Bill’s body grows more and more until he’s towering over the town, his body color changing from yellow to red.
BILL CIPHER: THAT’S ENOUGH!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I’M LIKE… WHEN I’M MAD?!
Bill’s voice turns demonic as he shoots energy from his hands and disintegrates both the demons and Bill Cipher copies. He then raises a foot over Mephisto.
BILL CIPHER: Goodbye… Red Man.
He stomps down and chuckles, only for another laugh to catch his attention. He turns around only for Mephisto to slap him into the forest of Gravity Falls. Mephisto makes a magical gesture as Bill returns to normal size.
MEPHISTO: I was wrong about you, Bill Cipher. You are indeed a powerful opponent.
Bill tries to raise his hands only for Mephisto to restrain him with chains.
MEPHISTO: But you are not as invincible as you like to think. So I will take you to my realm where you will know my full wrath as I tear your astral soul apart in its entirety.
BILL CIPHER (Screaming): No! Don’t take me to your realm! Please! You’re making a mistake! I can give you anything you’d like! Money, fame, your own galaxy! Just don’t take me to your realm, whatever you do! Our powers will be completely uneven if you do!
Mephisto laughs as the two disappear in a burst of flames. We cut to hell where Mephisto and Bill teleport in. Mephisto laughs, seeing dark magical energy flow around his hands.
MEPHISTO: YES!!! Now with my full power, I shall wipe you off the face of existence as-
Mephisto stops when he hears Bill chuckling. Turning around, he sees Bill effortlessly break out of his chains, laughing manically.
BILL CIPHER (Laughing): Boy, for being the Devil, you sure are gullible! You just freed me from the confines of Gravity Falls! Now I can spread my weirdness across all of the universe! The time has come, reality is finally mine!
As Bill laughs, he opens up a tear in Mephisto’s Realm similar to the one he used in the Weirdmageddon Trilogy. Mephisto stares in horror.
MEPHISTO: WHAT-?!
He is cut off when Bill snaps his fingers. The devil can watch in horror as his realm suddenly begins to fade away into dust. We see various souls of sinners also get dusted including Adolf Hitler, Ed Gein, and Osama Bin Laden. We then see that Vladimir Putin is standing there looking confused.
VLADIMIR PUTIN: But I’m not dead yet!
Mephisto turns and looks at the Russian angrily.
MEPHISTO (Insulted): HEY! I DID A FAVOR FOR YOU!
VLADIMIR PUTIN (Sheepishly): Yes, my lord and master.
With that, Vladimir Putin is dusted as well. Everything continues to crumble away as Mephisto’s realm is finally wiped from existence.
MEPHISTO (Horrified): What have you done?!
BILL CIPHER: Well, let’s see. I destroyed Hell, so I’d say I did everyone a favor. Maybe I might even get a "Get Out of Jail For Free" Card from the Big Guy himself. Just one last mistake to take care of.
Bill grows his fist and then hits Mephisto right in the groin causing him to cry out in pain. The triangular terror starts wailing on Mephisto as the demon’s body is shown cracking with white glowing energy. Mephisto is unable to withstand Bill’s attacks as he drops to a knee.
MEPHISTO (Weakly): You… have to… stop….
BILL CIPHER (Laughing): HA! Sorry, pal. Don’t you know? The party never stops here! This is the end for you, Mephisto!
Bill laughs as he fires a wave of energy at Mephisto. We see Mephisto’s eyes flash with various symbols from Gravity Falls as he starts speaking incoherently.
MEPHISTO: Nruter yam I yad eno taht os nis fo seman dekciw ruoy ekovni I! Osnola Lexa dna, Addaseuq Eoj, Namkcih Nahtanhoj, Iksnyzcarts Leahcim J, Recneps Kcin, Ttols Nad sa nwonk sgnieb live tneicna eht! Sdrol Krad eht fo srewop tneicna eht nopu llac I! L-E-V-R-A-M! Doog os leef t’nod I! Lleh ho!
BILL CIPHER: Make all the prayers you want to whoever, Satan. 1) You’re a fallen angel, so praying is automatically null-and-void for you. B) Your power is now gone so interdimensional wi-fi is a bust for you and you won’t reach anyone telepathically. And Eerht) None of those guys care for you! Because this is a battle by someone who isn’t them, so they won’t care about what happens to you as long as it isn’t their story! But above all else, this is for 15 years’ worth of bad comics after bad comics! By the way, want to see my impression of you dying?
Bill begins flailing his arms wildly.
BILL CIPHER: HUUUUUAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
Bill punches Mephisto as his body shatters like glass.
MEPHISTO: HUUUUUAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
Bill wipes his hand and the shattered pieces of Mephisto fade away. The triumphant triangle looks out towards whoever is watching before opening another tear in reality.
BILL CIPHER: That was fun! Welp, on to enslave more of reality! Later, nerds! Just remember this; life is cheese, the clouds are made of cotton candy! Buy digital! BYE!!!
K.O.[]
Announcer: K.O.!
RESULTS[]
Wiz: So… uh…
Boomstick: That happened. Actually, what the hell did just happen?!
Wiz: This was a difficult fight to pin down. At first glance, both entities seemed to share a number of abilities that could easily cancel each other out. As we glanced more and more into this, it seemed at first like Mephisto would be the victor given his longer existence and varied use of magics. EXCEPT, when Mephisto fought Galactus who had previously survived the Big Bang.
Boomstick: Yeah, stalemating a guy that huge was a cool feat, but remember; Mephisto only ended it in a draw because he didn’t want Galactus to devour and destroy his realm. Something Bill is VERY adept at doing.
Wiz: Also, Mephisto himself has often been fooled and betrayed by humans and non-humans alike. He was once an advisor to Thanos when the Mad Titan got his hands on the Infinity Gauntlet but was nearly killed by Thanos when Mephisto tried interfering too much. Plus, because Mephisto is unable to read the mind of sentient beings, Bill was able to keep his thoughts protected and trick Mephisto into taking Bill outside of the confines of Gravity Falls, allowing him to unleash all his power that was previously enough to destroy an entire universe such as Mephisto’s realm.
Boomstick: Mephisto definitely had a speed advantage, until he unintentionally gave Bill the extra speed boost. Both could heal from pretty crazy wounds, but Mephisto’s power was tied directly into his realm. Once Bill had the upper hand to destroy that realm, Mephisto had nothing to power his regeneration. And there was nothing preventing Bill from simply dispersing Mephisto’s essence into nothingness to prevent him from coming back entirely.
Wiz: Mephisto may have been faster and had a wider variety of spells to make him the King of his dimension for good reason, but with the unlimited power and silver tongue trickery of Bill Cipher, it wasn’t long before the Prince of Lies had his final day.
Boomstick: Mephisto TRI-ed with all his might, but it didn’t take a genius to know how the GRAVITY of his world would FALL in this HELL of a top-BILL-ed battle.
Wiz: The Winner is Bill Cipher.
TRIVIA:[]
The connection between Bill Cipher and Mephisto is that both are highly powerful interdimensional beings of malevolent intentions. They are also known for making deals that they alter to benefit them with more power, and have a somewhat sense of humor in most cases until provoked. Their deals have also inadvertently led to their downfall from time-to-time (Bill beginning his relation to the Pines family who would ultimately stop Weirdmageddon, and Mephisto creating Ghost Rider who would foil his plans time-and-time again, even taking Mephisto’s throne at one point.)
This fight would ideally be in 2D Sprite Animation with a couple of moments hand drawn.
The song title would be called Noddegamdriew Erom Eno. When reversed, the title reads One More Weirdmageddon. Having the title in reverse is a reference to how certain phrases (including Bill Cipher’s final cryptic backwards message) are often put in reverse for the audience to decipher in Gravity Falls. The title also references the three-part series finale to Gravity Falls, Weirdmageddon. Finally, the song’s name is also a reference to the much-maligned Spider-Man story One More Day where Spider-Man and Mary Jane give up their marriage and the history that came with it to save Aunt May’s life after she was shot following the events of Marvel’s Civil War storyline.
Ideally, the song would be a fast-paced heavy metal tune with synths, xylophone, and a dark choir vocal backing to represent both the music of Gravity Falls, and the demonic nature of Mephisto being the Devil.
Along with the song title, this fight contains certain hidden backwards messages in the battle and pre-fight itself.
Bill and Mephisto reenact the TeamFourStar #CellGames Video that featured Kenshiro going up against Perfect Cell.
Bill summoning his duplicates is an obvious parody of the portals scene from the final battle in Avengers: Endgame.