a Battle between the 2 Most Famous Cryptids
PS I'll be using their movie and real life feats
Introduction[]
Wiz: CRYPTIDS, Mysterious creatures lurking in the Woods or Waters like these 2!
Boomstick: BIGFOOT, THE APE WITH SUPER STRENGTH!
Wiz: And Nessie, The Loch Ness Monster.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons armor and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle
Bigfoot[]
Wiz: Many Creatures live in some forests, but one is the most unknown.
Boomstick: BIGFOOT, THE EPIC MONSTER TRUCK!
Wiz: Wrong Bigfoot.
Boomstick: I MEAN, BIGFOOT THE GIANT HARIY APE!
Wiz: Bigfoot is usually an ape, whose at maximum 10 feet tall
Boomstick: 10 FEET TALL, WHAT I THOUGHT HE WAS ATLEAST 6 FEET!
Wiz: And Bigfoot has been around for atleast 1 Million Years and can speak telepathically
Boomstick: WHAT?!
Wiz: and he's pretty strong, being able to smash rocks and picking them up and throwing them, and he also uses rocks to smash people heads.
Boomstick: Bigfoot is also pretty fast chasing cars and can also FLIP BULLDOZERS.
Wiz: They're also pretty intelligent for a primate, being able to put up funerals for long dead bigfoots, and being able to take care of a child and for fun they stack rocks.
Boomstick: Stacking rocks? Jeez someone needs to give Bigfoot an Etch a Sketch.
Wiz :And for a fact one of his species does have a youtube channel.
Boomstick: Wait what?
Wiz: Bigfoot can also crush people's skulls if he doesn't feel like Smashing them with a rock and he can even extend his jaw and bite someone's face off!
Boomstick: AND HE CAN BREAK SOMEONE'S SPINE.
Wiz: And he can craft Weapons if need such as a bow and sword and he can easily rip of limbs of people.
Boomstick: Bigfoot can survive multiple punches and he can ROCKET JUMP WITHOUT A ROCKET, WHAT?!
Wiz: And for finding enemies he has an Enhanced senses of Hearing, Taste, Smell and Feeling, and they have a Great Reflexes being able to dodge attacks, and catch falling objects with ease and is pretty agile being able to do Backfilps and front flips.
Boomstick: and for a good one, they have experienced combat being able to hand to hand combat skills and now some forms of fighting.... Ok I would laugh if Bigfoot could perform Kung Fu!
Wiz: And he's pretty Stealthy being able to hide in bushes but he does have a weakness and that would be Bullets and other animals.
Boomstick: Sad to say Bigfoot can't survive some bullets, as seen when one of his species died to guns. but that doesn't mean he's no push over, if you try to record him, he will make sure it's blurry.
Nessie[]
Wiz: in the year 1933 a man and his wife were driving and spotted something near their car and it was a Giant snail.
Boomstick: GIANT SNAIL, THROW THAT AWAY AND GIVE ME THE NESSIE I WANT!
Wiz: Fine, in the year 1934 and a Surgeon saw something in Loch Ness and took a picture and it revealed Nessie, a Lizard Plesiosaur. There Happy?
Boomstick: Yup.
Wiz: Nessie is pretty strong by herself, she’s able to destroy a car!
Boomstick: So she eats Metal?
Wiz: No that was only because she’s Territorial anyways, Nessie can also lift cows and can walk on land.
Boomstick: and she got banished by a cross, HOW THE HECK DOES A VAMPIRE WEAKNESS AFFECT A GIANT DINOSAUR?! but anyways she escaped the “Banishment” because YOU CAN’T AFFECT A DINOSAUR WITH THAT!
Wiz: Nessie is also pretty fast and judging by the fact that Plesiosaurs top speed in water is 9Km/H. she’s pretty fast and on land, she can dodge a Motor Cycle and she can break rocks with her head, and can devour an adult human.
Boomstick: And for size she’s 20 FEET TALL WHAT?!?!
Wiz: And She can even destroy ships and she can bend her body to dodge objects such as Logs and Rocks.
Boomstick: and if she wants to kill a shark fast, she uses her powerful bite but why do that, WHEN SHE CAN EXTEND HER JAW?!
Wiz: and her sense of smell can help her a lot, being able to detect most living things with it and is able to eat any substance.
Boomstick: and for a 20 FEET TALL DINOSAUR, She can use stealth.... HOW DOES A 20 FEET DINOSAUR HIDE IN BUSHES?!
Wiz: and with her long neck, she's able to constrict a cow with it and she has one more sense to help find her opponent, with Sesmic sense, being able to feel the ground, she can spot where her opponent is.
Boomstick :and of course her best feat is BEING A F****KING DINOSAUR!
Wiz: Boomstick, Technically Plesiosaurs are Lizards, not dinosaurs.
Boomstick: What's the difference?
Wiz :Dinosaurs aren't only aquatic but she does have a weakness: sharp objects.
Boomstick: Oh....Anyways let's see if she can face the Sasquatch.
Transition[]
Wiz: Alright the Combatants are set and we’ve run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: IT’S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
Battle[]
We see Loch Ness and a part of the Forrest and then Nessie pops her head out.
Bigfoot sense her and comes running and smashes a rock on her head.
FIGHT!
Bigfoot is getting crushed but then Bigfoot pushes his hands outwards and escapes.
Nessie goes on land to fight the hairy man.
Bigfoot hides in the trees and is currently crafting a small sword.
Nessie uses her sense of smell and smells the odor of Bigfoot in the tree and Bigfoot telepathically talks to Nessie.
Bigfoot: I shall carve your flesh!
Nessie gets upset and roars but that gives Bigfoot the chance to stab Nessie in the back.
Nessie slams her body on top of Bigfoot.
Bigfoot: You are a heavy one
Bigfoot lifts Nessie and tosses her against a mountain.
Bigfoot grabs a rock and tries to slam it on Nessie's Neck.
Nessie dodges it and grabs Bigfoot's chest with her jaw trying to crush the Sasquatch.
Bigfoot Roars and prays apart Nessie's Jaws.
Bigfoot hides in the bushes and crafts a bow and 1 arrow.
Nessie smells Bigfoot and launches him against a tree with her tail.
Bigfoot grabs the bow he crafted and shoots Nessie but Nessie dodges it again.
Nessie is out of stamina and is really tired so she eats the arrow that she dodged.
Bigfoot takes the chance to slam another rock at Nessie.
but Nessie runs into Bigfoot and smashes the rock with her head and grabs Bigfoots head.
Bigfoot is growling multiple times and he pushes himself down.
Bigfoot: that was disgusting, now I shall end this!
Bigfoot extends his jaw and tries to bite of Nessie's Neck.
Nessie is getting hurt by this and slams the Bigfoot on her onto a tree multiple times until he falls off,
Bigfoot gets back up and punches Nessie's Back multiple times.
Nessie the rolls over smashing Bigfoot's arm.
Bigfoot: MY ARM!!!
Bigfoot is angry and let's out a roar and punches Nessie so many times!
Tourist: LOOK OVER THERE!
Nessie and Bigfoot see the Tourists and both run at the tourist.
Tourists: AAAAAAAH!
Tourists get in the van and they drive away.
Bigfoot :annoying assholes, anyways let us continue!
Bigfoot roars again and puts his right arm around Nessie's Neck.
Nessie gets made and rolls again smashing Bigfoot's Right arm leaving Bigfoot with 2 Broken Arms.
The no arm Bigfoot growls and uses his Legs running fast and kicking Nessie multiple times.
Nessie roars in anger and runs into the mountain making Bigfoot fall into the mountain.
Bigfoot: WHY YOU B***CH!!
Nessie grabs Bigfoot's leg and smashes him multiple times.
Nessie then let's go of Bigfoot but instead of letting him go, she eats Bigfoot's Left arm.
Bigfoot screams and Nessie eats the right arm.
Bigfoot: I... Will... KILL YOU!!!
Bigfoot gets up and Kicks Nessie Multiple times and runs so fast!
Nessie tries to hit the Ape but Misses the whole time.
Nessie then runs fast into the Loch.
Bigfoot is trying to swim.
but then, We cut to Bigfoot's Perspective and see his head getting eaten by the Loch Ness Monster as we hear the Bigfoot scream.
KO!
Nessie is eating the rest of Bigfoot.
Bigfoot's Head is in a Fleshy Area.
Results[]
Boomstick: awww.. The American one lost.
Wiz: This was actually a pretty even match on land but when Nessie took it in the water.
Boomstick: Yeah Bigfoot is definitely dead.
Wiz: and even then Nessie is Stronger as Her jaws can kill an average human and since Bigfoot has the Same Durability as a human, well you can put 2 and 2 together.
Boomstick: Looks like Nessie, Took a bite of a Bigfoot burger.... Actually I do want one now.
Make sure to show the Restaurant that serves the Bigfoot Burger when Boomstick says this line.
Wiz: The Winner is Nessie!
Nessie Wins