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Bebop & Rocksteady vs. Magikarp
Backgrounder (168)
Season 3, Episode 8
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Air date April 13th, 2015
Written by ParaGoomba348
Directed by Anonymous
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[[Bebop & Rocksteady vs. Magikarp|

Backgrounder (168)

Bebop & Rocksteady vs. Magikarp]] is a What-If? Episode of Death Battle featuring Bebop & Rocksteady from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles against Magikarp from Pokemon.


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles VS Pokemon! Which joke character will succeed for once?


Wiz: There are the super-powerful badasses we know and love, like The Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Garchomp from Pokemon.

Boomstick: Then there's the guys who aren't as badass. Like Bebop & Rocksteady, the stupid mutant minions of The Shredder-

Wiz: And Magikarp, the Fish Pokemon.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: It is our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win in a Death Battle.

Bebop & Rocksteady[]

Wiz: The evil Shredder is at war with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, night and day. In order to make his job easier, Shredder took two teenagers, Ivan Steranko and Anton Zeck, and turned them into...

Boomstick: These ugly sons-of-bitches.

Wiz: But as we all know, a pair of villains always have the combined competence of a single villain. Actually, with Bebop & Rocksteady, it's more like the combined competence of a half villain.

Boomstick: Yeah, these guys suck. At EVERYTHING. Except maybe shootin' guns. They're actually kinda good at that.

Wiz: It's true. Bebop & Rocksteady, for what little amount they're worth, are actually decent marksmen. It's just that they always seem to run out of ammo.

Boomstick: These guys also are equipped with chains and know how to handle other kinds of weapons. Even if they suck at using them.

Wiz: Wow, they DO suck, don't they?

Boomstick: They sure do.

Wiz: Well, Rocksteady also carries a giant golden hammer with him. So there's that.

Boomstick: Never stopped them from getting their asses handed to them by a bunch of ninja turtles. You know, Wiz, thinking about it, whoever made Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was probably really high on something.

Wiz: Uh, you might be right.

Boomstick: But seriously, even if they suck, you've gotta hand it to 'em. They always get their asses kicked by the turtles, hell, even Michelangelo! Then they endure torture from Shredder! Seriously, these guys can take a beating!

Wiz: And yet they always come back tougher, and they don't get any more relenting.

Boomstick: But other than that, well, they suck. They are stupid, they fail every time, and they never, ever learn.

Wiz: Yeah, they suck.

Bebop & Rocksteady: We'll turn you into turtle soup!


Boomstick: In the entire Pokemon universe, there never existed a more useless Pokemon... than Magikarp. Except maybe Sunkern.

Wiz: Yeah, but at least Sunkern has actual attacks. Magikarp... is pretty much useless everywhere. It has lackluster stats everywhere except Speed, it learns very few good moves, and you have to put up with this thing until Level 20, when it evolves into the mighty Gyarados.

Boomstick: Oh man, Gyarados is awesome! It can obliterate entire cities with a single attack-

Wiz: Boomstick-

Boomstick: It is the bane of every sailor's existence-

Wiz: Boomstick-

Boomstick: And it looks badass!


Boomstick: Aaaaaand it's banned in this fight, isn't it?

Wiz: Yes!

Boomstick: Oh. That kinda sucks. So what can Magikarp even do?

Wiz: While Magikarp is weak compared to other Pokemon, it's capable of some pretty powerful things. Its Pokedex entry says that it can clear mountains by splashing over them, after which it evolves into Gyarados. This is based on a Chinese myth, where carp would jump over mountains and turn into gigantic sea serpents.

Boomstick: But then Splash ends up being the worst attack ever. Hey Wiz, why isn't Splash Water-type?

Wiz: It's because the Japanese name for the move translates into 'Jump'. But still, Splash literally does nothing in battle. Magikarp's other two moves are Tackle, which is a very weak move in its own right, and Flail, which does more damage the more Magikarp is hurt. At 1 HP, this move becomes extremely powerful.

Boomstick: This thing also gets Hydro Pum-

Wiz: By an event! We're not allowing Hydro Pump in this! Anyway, even the weakest of Magikarp can jump seven feet in the air. On average, Magikarp weigh 22 pounds, and grow to be almost 3 feet.

Boomstick: Also, Magikarp's a tough little guy. It can survive any sort of water, even the roughest and dirtiest kinds. Being a Pokemon, it can survive some of the craziest things ever, such as attacks capable of leveling mountains, melting rocks, and even ripping through space and time!

Wiz: Not only that, but thanks to its abilities, Swift Swim and Rattled, Magikarp's speed can double in rain and if hit by a Bug, Ghost, or Dark move.

Boomstick: But if there's anything wrong with this pathetic excuse for a Pokemon, it's its stupidity. For no reason, it jumps out of the water for predators to attack and likes to splash around instead of attack. Stupid fish.

Wiz: Yeah, Magikarp's really lame.

(Magikarp is trying to pull Team Rocket out of the St. Anne)

Jessie: Don't tell me this thing can't swim...



Bebop and Rocksteady were called into Shredder's lair, supposedly to track down the turtles.

"We gonna make turtle soup, Master Shredder?" asked Rocksteady.

The Shredder gave a frustrated sigh, and through the door two of his other minions brought out a cardboard box. Inside the box was the Fish Pokemon, Magikarp.

"See this fish? We've received reports that these fish are useless, but that they can mysteriously transform into gigantic sea serpents capable of killing every single one of us. We must kill every single one of these fish. I know you two are at least competent to kill this fish, right?" The Shredder asked.

"Yes sir!" replied Bebop and Rocksteady simultaneously.

"Don't disappoint me." The Shredder walked out of the room, and Bebop and Rocksteady took opposite sides of the fish.


Right off the bat, Bebop and Rocksteady pulled out their guns and mercilessly unloaded their ammo at the fish.

"Karp karp karp karp!" Magikarp kept flopping about with the firing of their guns, obviously hurt by the attacks, but it seemed to tank every single bullet. After a few seconds, Bebop and Rockstead ran out of ammunition. Magikarp was still flopping around.

"Yo Bebop!" called Rocksteady.

"What is it Rocksteady?" asked Bebop.

"This fish ain't goin' down!" said Rocksteady.

"I can see 'dat, Rocksteady! Whadda we do now?" Bebop asked.

Before they could try to figure out another plan of attack, Magikarp jumped up and crashed Bebop into the wall. Angrily, Bebop picked up the carp and threw it at Rocksteady. Rocksteady pulled out his chain and hit Magikarp with it as it came near him. Magikarp fell back down onto the ground, and continued to flop around.

"How do we kill it, Bebop?" Rocksteady asked.

"I dunno, Rocksteady! Let's rip it in half!" Bebop and Rocksteady rushed to opposite sides of the fish again and began to pull from both sides. Suddenly, the fish slipped out of their hands and was sent flying into the air. Magikarp fell down onto Bebop's head and knocked him to the ground.

"Ow! That hurt!" Bebop rubbed the side of his head, then gritted his teeth and picked up Magikarp again. Magikarp slipped out of Bebop's hands, then with a massive force tackled him into Rocksteady and knocked them both into the ground.

Rocksteady pushed Bebop and Magikarp off of him. "Hey! Watch where you're goin', Bebop!" Rocksteady shouted. Suddenly, Rocksteady had a plan. "Bebop, I know what we're gonna do! Pick up 'da fish again!"

Bebop grinned, then looked at Magikarp, who, once again, was flopping on the ground. He tackled Magikarp, then held him up in his hands. "I got it, Rocksteady!"

With a similar grin on his face, Rocksteady pulled out his golden hammer. He swung at Magikarp, but then Magikarp squirmed its way free out of Bebop's hands.

"Wait stop!"

Before Rocksteady could stop, he hit Bebop in the stomach with his hammer, as hard as he could. Just imagine that. A giant hammer, being swung with the force of a horrible mutant's strength, into your stomach. Ouch.

Bebop fell down onto the ground, writhing in pain. "Yo Rocksteady... how is 'dis fish hurtin' us so much?"

Frustrated, Rocksteady found Magikarp still flopping on the ground. Bebop got up, and then the two continuously punched Magikarp. With each punch, Magikarp would let out a "Karp!". The two punched him until Magikarp jumped up into the air, out of their reach. Stupidly, Rocksteady attempted to punch Magikarp in mid-air... only to punch Bebop in the face.

"Hey! What was 'dat for?" Bebop asked. Magikarp made his way back down, and this time Bebop attempted to punch Magikarp... and ended up punching Rocksteady in the crotch.

"Ow..." Rocksteady let out a faint whine. "Why would you do 'dat... Bebop..." Rocksteady's voice was cracked and faint. Bebop picked up Magikarp again, and Rocksteady took his opportunity once more. While his movement was a bit stunted, he picked up his hammer again. He ran at Magikarp, but he tripped on the ground and his hammer went flying.

Bebop ducked under the hammer, but then Rocksteady's hammer bounced off the wall and then nailed Bebop on the back of the head. Bebop's head splattered, and he fell down on the ground, lifeless.

"Yo, Bebop, no sleepin' on 'da job!" Rocksteady called out. Bebop obviously didn't get up. "Yo, Bebop..." No response. Rocksteady then, finally came to the horrible realization. Bebop was dead. "Bebop! You dumb fish, you killed Bebop! You're gonna pay for 'dat!"

Magikarp continued to flop around as Rocksteady ran at it, full throttle. He picked up his chain and wrapped it around Magikarp, hoping to choke it or squeeze its guts out.

"You're gonna die, fish! You're gonna die!" Rocksteady's grip got tighter, but then suddenly Magikarp was squeezed out of the chain and went flying straight into the air. "Aw, not again!"

But before Rocksteady could even do anything, Magikarp landed straight on his head and crushed it. Rocksteady fell onto the ground, dead.

Suddenly Shredder burst into the room, and sighed.

"Why did I think that would be a good idea?"

Then Magikarp evolved into Gyarados and destroyed Shredder and his lair with a single Hyper Beam.



Boomstick: I told you that carp was a monster!

Wiz: While Bebop and Rocksteady technically have more battle experience than a Magikarp, they have no place trying to kill it. Bebop and Rocksteady may have the durability to survive countless encounters with the Ninja Turtles, but Magikarp has the durability to tank rock-melting fire, intense water pressures, city-busting lightning, and even attacks capable of distorting reality at hand!

Boomstick: Bebop and Rocksteady also somehow manage to be dumber than this fish, by thinking of the worst possible strategies and doing things that they know have already failed. Man, they suck!

Wiz: Magikarp is also much faster, being at a base 80 Speed. Compare this to Sharpedo who has a base speed of 95, and supposedly can swim through water at 75 miles per hour. Magikarp can also clear mountains with a leap, making it much stronger than the mutant duo as well.

Boomstick: Magikarpe diem!

Wiz: The winner is Magikarp.

Thumbnails (Winner and Reg