Interlude[]
Boomstick:in the weirdest places in the world they are nothing like the decepticons from the transformers franchise
Wiz:and the freedom pals from south park
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
The Freedom Pals[]
Stan Marsh[]
Wiz:Starting off with the default leader of the 4 Boys is Stan Marsh,who's in the 4th Grade and lives in South Park. While looks can be deceiving,Stan is anything but your typical normal 10 year old.
Boomstick:Starting things off with strength,he's capable of harming his best friend Kyle,who consistently proves he's stronger than Eric Cartman everytime they fight,who can survive a lightning strike,a bus running him over,and a vicious beatings from PC Principal and can kick an entire planetarium projector with a single kick.
Wiz:He's also quick enough to dodge automatic gunfire,plasma shots,and can outrun a group of police officers on foot,and as we stated earlier,scales off of Eric Cartman,who can keep up with an airplane before it takes off.
Boomstick:Are we entirely sure these kids aren't aliens? Because whatever milk they're drinking,I want it. But that's not all! If brute strength doesn't cut it,he's packing some heavy firearms and weapons such as...
•Handgun
•Shotgun
•Flare Gun
•Molotov Cocktail
•M16 Rifle
•Uzi
•Knife
•Taser
•Tonfa
•Chainsaw
•Baseball Bat
•Football
•Iphone
•Roller Skates
•Hammer
•Gas Mask
Wiz:Stan also has access to plenty of other transformations he can use with different types of costumes and outfits on him from Phone Destroyer. As Program Stan,he can use a metal disk as his go to weapon and gains a Tron-like costume along with the ability to smash his fist hard enough that it damages and freezes enemies for about two seconds.
Boomstick:As Stan of the Many Moons,his main weapons are a pair of hatchets he can slice and cut enemies with along with a nifty Indian costume and can unleash a large fiery blast from his hatchets by swinging them around.
Wiz:And as Poseidon Stan,he uses a three-pronged pitchfork as his main weapon of choice and can throw a water balloon into the air and then break it with his pitchfork,slowing all enemies for about 6 seconds.
Boomstick:But his two most powerful alter-egos are by far are his Fighter and Gadgeteer personas from Stick of Truth and Fractured but Whole.
Popup:The games have been confirmed to be canon to the series by Matt Stone and Trey Parker so they will be included in each South Park character's analysis.
Wiz:Starting off with his Star Marshwalker persona,he uses a longsword that can block bullets and decapitate Nazi Zombie heads and can summon his dog Sparky to fight alongside him with several moves he can use...
•Marked for Death
•Whirlwind Sand
•Discus of Might
•Way of the Sword
Boomstick:He can also transform into Toolshed,his Gadgeteer identity from Fractured but Whole. Think of Handy Manny but if his toolset was made for kicking ass! As Toolshed,Stan has mental control over almost any type of power tool as his disposal.He can use screwdrivers,a measuring tape as a grappling hook,power drills,a sandblaster, His other four moves as Toolshed include...
•Spiral Power
•Revitotron 9000
•Full Bore
•Drillslinger
Wiz:During the events of both of these games,he's shown to be strong enough to fight on equal footing or on par with his other friends in Stick of Truth and Fractured but Whole like Fastpass,who ran around the world in less than a second,which would need around 57,219,771 miles a second and with the energy Fastpass was generating during his Ultimate,that must round up to 6.1 Megatons of TNT!
Boomstick:But Stan isn't exactly flawless or even close to invincible. He can be immature like any kid his age usually is and can still be put down with enough force. He's also not immune to mind control or possession,as shown when Satan took over his body meaning someone with those abilities can easily take control of his body if they wanted. Even with those flaws,you should never Stan'd in his way.
Stan:Clocking in!
Kenny McCormick[]
Wiz:Then,we move on to Kenny McCormick,but contrast to the other five,due to his parents going to a Cthulu cult,he unable to die,granting him some form of Immortality.
Popup:While Kenny's usual resurrection takes him around 24 hours to fully come back,he has shown to rematerlize in thin air by the next scene,respawn by escaping the City of R'Lyeh by committing suicide,and came back from being blown up by a missile within a brief period of time.
Boomstick:And that's not all! He can also apparently give others bad luck with his parka,fly and possess people as a ghost,teleport,and much more as shown in Stick of Truth and Fractured but Whole. He's also the strongest of the fourth boys,meaning he's comparable to what they've preformed and done. And he has a plenty of weapons to use at his disposal...
•Explosives
•Guns
•Firecrackers
•Bow and Arrow
•Shurikens
•Go-Go-Action Bronco
•Nazi Zombie Virus
•Flute
Wiz:In Phone Destroyer,Kenny has access to other outfits and classes he can use while they're equipped. With his Adventure Card,Inuit Kenny,he's dressed in a brown hoodie for the extreme cold and attacks with two sharp tusks that can stab enemies.
Boomstick:And considering it's his whole shtick,if he dies,he can deal about 500 damage to the one who killed him using his Deathwish.
Wiz:His Sci-Fi Card and idenity is Cyborg Kenny,which gives him some custom made metal around his hoodie and hands for defense but presumably extra power in his punches. When Cyborg Kenny dies, the person who killed him will be mind controlled for 10 seconds and healed for 50.
Boomstick:And with his Mystical Card,Hermes Kenny has an energy staff that he can preform a great combo with and has a very useful energy boost for a brief moment.
Wiz:Like Boomstick mentioned earlier,Kenny's immortality gets more crazier once we factor in Stick of Truth and Fractured but Whole because as Princess Kenny,he can summon the Grim Reaper and turn people into Nazi Zombies by biting them after consuming the Nazi Zombie Virus...
•Charm
•Royal Kiss
•Furry Friends
•Unicorn Stampede
•Summon Death
Boomstick:And in Fractured but Whole,he can become Mysterion,who's basically Kenny's Batman superhero identity with him being able to actually use shadows and darkness in his attacks as well as being able to still fight even as a ghost...
•Demonic Fury
•Dread Rush
•Dark Whisper
•Cruel Fate
•Phantom Chill
•Marked for Dead
•Spooked
•Mysterion Re-Rising
Wiz:However,Kenny is far from unkillable. While his immortality is impressive,it still has it's limits and if his soul were to be trapped or if he were to be killed by another immortal,he could die permanently. On top of that,his parka makes it difficult for anyone to understand him,well besides the other boys. With all that being said,you should not mess with this Immortal Fourth Grader.
Kenny:I can't die. I've experienced death countless times. Sometimes I see a bright light, sometimes I see heaven or hell. But eventually, no matter what, I wake up in my bed wearing my same old clothes. And the worst part? Nobody even remembers me dying. I go to school the next day and everyone's all "Oh hey, Kenny.". Even if they've seen me get decapitated with their own eyes. So you want to whine about curses, Hindsight?
Wendy Testaburger[]
Wiz:Unlike the other five,Wendy is the only female of the cast and is also Stan's on-again off-again love interest and girlfriend. But like Kyle,she's also one of the more knowledgeable of the kids and has even engaged in topics such as politics.
Boomstick:Wendy is also strong enough to beat the shit out of Cartman in a one on fight to the point of embarrassing him in front of the school. And Wendy should likely be comparable to the main four,who are strong enough to lift and throw metal crates and damage Scott Tenorman's giant robot,which weighs around 111493.3043730964 kg or 245800.661 pounds!
Wiz:And for a surprisingly normal kid,she's also quite fast as she can keep up with Cartman,who can dodge bullets and run out of the way of incoming bullets on several occasions,comparable to Stan,who outran a tsunami of pee,in which case a regular tsunami is capable of over 500 miles per hour,as well as react to plasma shots,sound attacks,and gunfire.
Boomstick:And like Wiz said,Wendy's one of more intelligent among the kids,being bilingual in Arabic and Japanese along with being a surprisingly good singer,ice skater,and debater.
Wiz:As for weapons,most of her arsenal is usually from other sources from video games such as Phone Destroyer,Stick of Truth,and Fractured but Whole. But she also has access to other consumables just like the other five kids...
•Gun
•Twin Pistols (Captain Wendy)
•Ice Sniper (Ice Sniper Wendy)
•Bow and Arrows (Angel Wendy)
•Shieldmaiden Armor (Shieldmaiden)
°Sword
°Shield
°Slight armor
•Selfie Sticks and Phones (Call Girl)
SHARED (All)
•Small Health Potions
°Cheesy Poofs, Chips, Sugar Packets, Chocolate, Veal Roll-Ups, and Snacky Cakes
•Large Health Potions
°Creme Fraiche, Snacky S'mores,Chips-A-Ho!
•Cure Potions
°A bottle of water that removes negative status effects
•Revive Potions
°A taco that revives a fallen ally in battle. Can carry up to 10
•Speed Potions
°Tweek Bros Coffee that allows to attack twice in a row
•Ultra Speed Potions
°A rare blend of coffee that raises attack power and lets them attack twice in a row
•Strength Potions
°A can of Weight Gain 4000 that increases attack and defense
•Shit Nuggets
°Can toss a turd at enemies to inflict Grossed Out
•Antidote
°Enriched Antidote
°Maximum Antidote
•Vampiric Elixir
°Grants Lifesteal,gaining health by damaging enemies and Attack Up
•Coon Cakes
•Burrito
•Quesadilla Especial
•Taquito Grande
•Taco Supreme
•Sopaipilla
•Honey Sopaipilla
•Revive Serum
°Revives and restores nominal health to a fallen team member
•Maximum Revive Serum
°Revives and restores significant health to a fallen team member
•Tome of Teleportation
°Teleports user to any selected area in the battlefield
•Zipp Cola!
(Stan,Kyle,Kenny,Cartman,and Wendy)
•Race Cars
°Herpes
°Water Balloon
°Rats
°Sparky
°Caffeine
°Decoy Cow
°Cheesy Poofs
°Underpants Gnomes
°Mexican Staring Frog
°Philip Phart
°Weight Gain 4000
°Explosive Diarrhea
°Anal Probe
°Balloon Head
°Barf
°Mr.Hankey
°Kitty
°Pink Eye
(Stan,Kyle,Kenny,Cartman)
•Dodgeballs
•Toilet Plunger Launcher
•Sponge Dart Launcher
•Warpo Ray
•Super Sniper Chicken
•Alien Dancing Gizmo
•Cow Launcher
•Crow Bar
•Bubble Gun
•Dark Matter Gun
•Double Firing Rate
•Double Damage
•Time Manipulation Device
•Shield
Boomstick:In Phone Destroyer,Wendy has different alter egos she can access and use their different weapons with. As Captain Wendy,she fire three bright yellow shots from her twin pistols that can damage enemies,including the New Kid.
Wiz:As Angel Wendy,she fire arrows from her bow to deal damage but fire three arrows allies to heal a good portion of their health.
Boomstick:As Ice Sniper Wendy,she's exactly what it says on thePhone tin and can temporarily freeze enemies by using her Ice Sniper to shoot ice.
Wiz:As Shieldmaiden,Wendy can act enemies with her sword and block attacks by using her shield,which can create a forcefield for extra protection.
Boomstick:In Fractured but Whole,Wendy's strongest alter ego is Call Girl,who can attack foes with Selfie Sticks and Phones,being able to even shoot lightning bolts from her celluar devices in Phone Destroyer. Call Girl is definitely a perfect name for a game literally called Phone Destroyer.
•Flash Mob
•Selfie-Stick Strike
•Phone Destroyer
•Blocked
Wiz:Alas,Wendy does have her cons. For starters,she's somewhat stubborn and has occasional jealousy such as when she hired Iraqis to shoot Mrs.Ellen into the sun,which sometimes gets the best of her and has shown to be antagonistic and careless before. Also as Call Girl,she's shown to be vulnerable to Spotty Wi-Fi.
Boomstick:But despite her shortcomings,Wendy Testaburger is one 4th Grade girl you don't wanna f**k with.
Wendy:I got five bars and a full battery. Let's dance!
Timmy burch[]
- wiz: As mastermind and leader of The Freedom Pals, Doctor Timothy relies on his impressive mental powers to control the field of battle – and dominate the psyches of his foes. - Proposed in-game character description
Boomstick:Doctor Timothy is a powerful Psychic hero who relies on his vast mental powers in battle. He can freely teleport great distances, read and extract information from minds, speak telepathically to large groups simultaneously, shield himself in an impenetrable psychic barrier, and project powerful blasts of psionic force.
WIZ:His most dangerous ability is perhaps his power to control the minds of others, which he uses to support his teammates by summoning backup or even turning enemies against each other. Coupled with his barriers and teleportation, Doctor Timothy is a highly dangerous force to be reckoned with, even without the rest of the Freedom Pals. However, his mind control has a few weaknesses; it can only affect a maximum of four people at a time, and his control can be broken by inflicting sufficient damage on the victim. What's more, once his control is broken, he will not be able to establish the control as powerful as before.
- The Timmy Whisperer: Ultimate ability. Doctor Timothy, in full recruitment mode, damages and Charms multiple foes from range.
- Psychic Scream: This blast of pure psychic energy damages and knocks back all enemies in a row.
- Damage: High
- Range: 4 tiles ahead of him
- Status Effect: Knockback
- Mind Rape: Doctor Timothy rapes an enemy's mind, Charming the foe and convincing them to temporarily change allegiance.
- Damage: None
- Range: All around him
- Status Effect: Charmed
- Brain Bomb: The Doctor stupefies his enemies. All foes in the affected zone are Confused.
- Damage: None
- Range: 3 tiles in front and 2 crossing
- Status Effect: Confused
- When Kindergarteners Attack: Summons four Kindergartener Swarmers on the left to assist him. Only used in his first battle in Civil War 2, replacing Brain Bomb.
Timmy:TIMMY!
Tolkien Black[]
Boomstick:Tupperware tries his best to mimic a robot, with various lines regarding cybernetic enhancements.
Wiz:As the creator of Danger Deck, Tupperware's voice is tooled into the system, and his words are used to inform the combatants about the status of the battle field.
- Tupper Mech Mk III - Initiate Tupper Mech Mk III upgrade.
- Rocket Barrage
- Tupper Tornado - Smack and knock back all nearby foes.
- Hot Swap - Swap spots with anyone, gain Protection.
- Tupper Turret - Summon an offensive gun turret.
Tolkien:You gotta prove yourself before we do that, New Kid."
Tweek Tweak[]
boomstick:Wonder Tweek's quotes mostly feature him freaking out, and his battle quotes are weather themed (or elemental themed).
He is also very affectionate towards Super Craig, though he occasionally argues with him, especially if Therapy Wars is not completed.Beginning with his ultimate, his in-game powers are listed below, with their official names and descriptions.
- Supreme Lightning - Blast a foe with lightning.
- Icicle Strike -
tweek:"Well, come on."
Decepticons[]
Megatron[]
Nyxs: Before the great war, there were two factions which governed cybertron in harmony, the scientific section led by Optimus Prime and the military section led by Megatron.
Boomstick: But this changed after that day, the scientific section meeting a kind of Tomb that inside had some of the greatest evils that known cybertron and the universe, Megatronus Prime or better known as The Fallen.
(Cue Transformers: The Score - You're A Soldier Now)
Nyxs: The Fallen achievement corrupting Megatron and do so wanting to governing Cybertron and the universe with the military section, becoming call the Decepticons. This same, provoked the war by the cube or the allspark, an artifact of great power that you would to Megatron to carry out its objective.
Boomstick: But this was not so, as the autobots managed to launch the cube into outer space.
Nyxs: Megatron did not hesitate a second and decided to go to by the cube, but not before cutting off an arm to Bumblebee, leaving it without the ability to speak, and leaving the Decepticons. for a long time, megatron was chasing after the cube through space, until I get to our planet.
Boomstick: And when it seemed that the power of the cube would be yours, megatron end frozen, Megatron had landed in the Arctic. megatron body heat caused the ice to break, making the decepticon leader to fall into the water, where I would be frozen for millions of years.
Nyxs: Megatron would be found by the grandfather of sam witwicky. Megatron would be transported to the sector 7, where I would be and would help human progress... until he could release.
Megatron: I am Megatron.
(Cue Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (The Original Score) - Forest Battle)
Boomstick: During the four films that appeared, megatron to possessed deferent vehicle modes, in the first, it was a cybertronian jet, in the second, was a cool cybertronian tank, in the third, a truck, and in the fifth, was a jet.
Nyxs: Between the arms of the tyrant is a mace that can destroy the majority of structures with a strike. a plasma fusion cannon, which can be used to join his two arms.
Boomstick: A knife used to kill Optimus in ROTF. a Fusion Shotgun, is a shotgun that fires plasma, a flamethrower that also can use it as a shield, and a large sword.
Nyxs: Megatron is one of the decepticons more dangerous history, only surpassed by his old master, The Fallen. Megatron chase the cube by countless solar systems for hundreds of years, surviving being frozen for millions of years, entering the Earth from its atmosphere still being exhausted, and survive the impact of a few missiles launched by a few jets.
Boomstick: and Killed Optimus in Transformers The Game and ROTF, there is no doubt that underestimate the leader of the decepticons is a big mistake.
Nyxs: However, Megatron is not invincible, this was against in two flipped, the first to absorb the power of the cube, and to be his head ripped by optimus, also, his death to receive a falcon punch by Optimus in Transformers The Game.
Boomstick: And let us not forget the humiliation he received after that optimus revived and combined with parts of jetfire, and being the bitch of The Fallen and Sentinel Prime for a while, but even so, Megatron is great.
Jazz: Is that all you got, Megatron?
Megatron: Come here, you little cretin!
Megatron grabs Jazz, but Jazz opens fire with his blaster
Jazz: You want a piece of me? You want a piece?
Megatron: No, I want TWO!
rips Jazz in half
Starscream[]
Wiz:Over the centuries he's come to believe both Optimus and Megatron have lost sight of what is best for the Cybertronian race, and simply pursue their own agendas. At some point, he came to the decision that, for the good of the species, a new leader must emerge, and he would be that leader. However, over time, he became as corrupt in his own way as Megatron, although he prefers subtlety and deception to Megatron's brute force. Now, what may once have been noble goals are buried under layers of self-interest, transforming Starscream into that which he supposedly despised.
Boomstick: his Powers and Abilities: are Superhuman Physical Characteristics, Transformation (into an F-22 Raptor), Flight (via jet transformation), Weapon Mastery, Large Size (Type 0, 31 feet or 9.45 meters tall), Regeneration (High-Low), Self-Sustenance (Type 1 and 3), Immortality (Type 2), Longevity, Enhanced Senses
Attack Potency: Multi-City Block level (Could harm Optimus Prime, although he is overall weaker than him. Was able to overwhelm Ironhide and Ratchet at the same time), higher in Stealth Force
Speed: Subsonic movement speed with Hypersonic reactions, combat speed (Comparable to Optimus Prime and Bumblebee). Supersonic Flight speed (Is an F-22 Raptor) to at least Massively FTL+ at top speed (Can travel to different solar systems in a short amount of time, much like Megatron)
Lifting Strength: Class M (Easily flipped a bus one-handed. Uprooted a tree and snapped it in half. Easily ripped apart other F-22 Raptors and Bell Ospreys mid-air. Could somewhat grapple with Optimus)
Striking Strength: Multi-City Block level (Destroyed buildings physically, and harmed Optimus)
Durability: Multi-City Block level (Able to survive hits from Optimus Prime during the forest battle. Can tank hits from Ironhide and Ratchet), higher in Stealth Force
Stamina: Superhuman
Range: Several meters by virtue of sheer size, tens of meters with armaments
Standard Equipment:
- Built-in armaments
Intelligence: Above Average
Weaknesses: Can be overconfident. His optics is vulnerable to being damaged, blinding him. Can also act rather dramatically when injured.
Blackout[]
Wiz:The massive Blackout has been described as the "hound" of Megatron. In better days he was always to be found looming powerful and silent behind his leader's right shoulder. When given a target he hunts it down with fierce determination. Blackout is not happy with the progress Starscream is making towards finding the missing Decepticon leader. He suspects (quite rightly) that Starscream would prefer Megatron to stay lost. Blackout is openly mutinous and will challenge Starscream's leadership at any opportunity, not for his own sake, but to better serve his ultimate goal of finding his lost master. Blackout has a sneaky side and uses his symbiotic companion Scorponok's small size to great advantage.
Boomstick: he Can transform into a Sikorsky MH-53 Pave Low helicopter), Weapon Mastery, Flight, Self-Sustenance (Type 1 and 3), Immortality (Type 2), Longevity, Regeneration (Low), Large Size (Type 0, 33 ft or 10.0584 meters tall), Energy Projection (Via energy wave cannon), Technology Manipulation, Hacking, Enhanced Senses
Attack Potency: Multi-City Block level (Casually obliterated multiple Lockheed C-17s with a single shot each, with each shot wielding this much power. Comparable to Grindor. Was confident in helping Megatron fight Optimus, implying that he is somewhat close to their level of power)
Speed: Subsonic (MH-53 Pave Lows have recorded top speeds of 165 miles per hour. Should be comparable to Grindor, as they have nearly identical body types) with Hypersonic combat speed and reactions (Superior to Ironhide)
Lifting Strength: Class M
Striking Strength: Multi-City Block level
Durability: Multi-City Block level (Capable of tanking his own shots exploding right under his feet, with his shots being this powerful. Should be comparable to Grindor)
Stamina: Superhuman
Range: Tens of meters via virtue of size alone, higher with armaments
Standard Equipment: Rotor blades, machine gun, energy wave cannon, chest cannon, Scorponok
Intelligence: Above Average
Weaknesses: Like Grindor, when the rotor blade is being used, Blackout will walk very slowly and cannot run with the blade. As stated by Colonel William Lennox his armor is weak under the chest area.
Barricade[]
Boomstick:Barricade is apparently a complicated robot. He's considered "fractious" even by Decepticon standards, yet is willing to give Starscream the benefit of the doubt and follow where he leads, at least for the time being. Though not totally dedicated to the service of the Decepticons' current leader, he is much more cautious and reserved about expressing mutinous dissent than say most. He believes that Starscream is vital in their search for Megatron and the AllSpark. In many ways this makes him Starscream's closest ally in the naturally combative Decepticon ranks. Then again, it's been said that he likes to trick people into trusting him, just so he can see their reactions when they find out just how much of a bad idea it was. As such, he has disguised himself as an Earth police car in an attempt to fool the humans around him.
If his attitude toward his fellow Decepticons is inconsistent, his attitude toward the Autobots is not: kill them all. Barricade might not be as large as most of his peers, but he is every bit as deadly. He thoroughly relishes every chance in fighting the Autobots. He's smart enough to let one live if he thinks he or the Decepticons can use it to their advantage, but most of the time, they're dead before someone's even thought of a plan.
Wiz:he turns Into a Saleen S-281 or a Saleen 302 Mustang), Weapon Mastery, Skilled hand-to-hand combatant, Self-Sustenance (Type 1 and 3), Large Size (Type 0, 16 feet or 4.877 meters tall), Immortality (Type 2), Longevity, Regeneration (Low), Stealth Mastery, Enhanced Senses and Information Analysis (Barricade can probe for weaknesses in defences or an opponent's armature by switching between analytical, tactical, chemical and elemental fields of vision)
Attack Potency: At least City Block level (Fought evenly with Bumblebee in the first movie, although he was defeated) | At least City Block level (Stronger than before)
Speed: Subsonic movement speed with Hypersonic reactions and combat speed (Comparable to Bumblebee and Ironhide)
Lifting Strength: At least Class K
Striking Strength: At least City Block level | At least City Block level
Durability: At least City Block level | At most Multi-City Block level (Took hits from TLK Bumblebee and Grimlock, but he was swiftly defeated by both)
Brawl[]
Wiz:To say Brawl is a warrior is like calling Cybertron a hunk of metal. Brawl does not just enjoy fighting, he is consumed by it. Tearing Autobots apart is embedded into his very core, and every fiber-optic cable of his being is obsessed with wild, unyielding combat. The only thing he enjoys, or even cares about, is the fury of battle. And he loves a good explosion. Particularly if it's one he created, and if it's an Autobot that is exploding.
While it's not uncommon for ambition or independent thinking to cause trouble in the Decepticon ranks, Brawl's never had that problem. This is mostly because he suffers from a severe lack of both qualities. Where others question orders, Brawl simply carries them out, perfectly happy to let Megatron do all his thinking for him.
Boomstick:he turns Into an M-1 Abrams tank), Self-Sustenance (Type 1 and 3), Immortality (Type 2), Longevity, Regeneration (Low), Explosion Manipulation, Rage Power, Enhanced Senses
Attack Potency: At most Multi-City Block level (Forced Ironhide to dodge his attacks. Harmed Jazz by throwing him)
Speed: Superhuman travel speed in vehicle mode (Comparable to an M1 Abrams tank), Subsonic mvement speed in robot mode. Hypersonic reactions and combat speed (Could quickly grab Jazz on his shoulders). Supersonic+ firing speed with Rheinmetall 120mm Main Gun (This is the M1 Abrams's primary cannon)
Lifting Strength: At least Class K
Striking Strength: At most Multi-City Block level
Durability: At most Multi-City Block level (Took multiple hits from Jazz, Ratchet and Bumblebee)
Stamina: Superhuman (Was able to keep fighting even when he was targeted by Ratchet, Ironhide, Jazz and the army)
Range: Extended melee range, tens of meters with most of his weapons
Standard Equipment:
- Several built-in armaments
Intelligence: Below average
Weaknesses: Brawl suffers from very low intelligence; built-in missile pods can easily be torn off
Bonecrusher[]
Wiz:Bonecrusher, known as the Claw of Megatron, is a Transformer that can be described with one word: Hate. While other Decepticons get by on greed, ambition, or just their fondness for dispensing chaos, Bonecrusher is fueled by sheer, unrelenting hate. He hates everyone and everything, be they Autobot, Decepticon, or anything in-between—he even hates himself, revolted by his misshapen, hunchbacked robot mode, which he considers a reflection of all the ugliness and malice inside himself. The full force of this vicious cycle of hatred finds release in explosive frenzied bursts of psychotic brutality, as Bonecrusher takes out the full force of his bitterness and self-loathing on anyone who looks at him sideways. He hates that. He also hates Megatron, but would hate being terminated by the Decepticon leader more, so he sticks around.
On Cybertron, Bonecrusher was actually quite a skilled tactician—dedicated to the art of war, a fast thinker who could plough into battle while others were still mapping out a strategy, and, most importantly in Megatron's eyes, a masterfully dirty fighter. However, Bonecrusher's skills left him consigned to a supervisory position and kept him off the battlefield, which, of course, he hated. Naturally, this only helped to increase his already epic levels of frustration and misery at his lot in life, until he became what he is today. He's so intensely pent-up that he'll unflinchingly take on opponents of any size—the bigger the better! Bonecrusher wouldn't hesitate to confront Optimus Prime head on if
Boomstick: his Powers and Abilities are Superhuman Physical Characteristics, Transformation (Into a Buffalo mine-sweeping vehicle), Weapon Mastery, Skilled hand-to hand combatant, Self-Sustenance (Type 1 and 3), Immortality (Type 2), Longevity, Regeneration (Low), Enhanced Senses
Attack Potency: At most Multi-City Block level (Can stagger Optimus Prime with his blows, but dealt less damage than the likes of Starscream and Grindor)
Speed: Subsonic movement speed with Hypersonic reactions and combat speed (Can outrun cars and can react to Optimus Prime's attacks)
Lifting Strength: Class M (Can grapple with Optimus Prime)
Striking Strength: At most Multi-City Block level
Durability: At most Multi-City Block level (Survived a punch from Optimus Prime, although that punch deformed his face)
Stamina: Superhuman
Range: Extended melee range
Standard Equipment:
- Minesweeper
Intelligence: Above Average (Stated to be a skilled tactician)
Weaknesses: Hates almost everything and he has a short temper
Prelude[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: But first, we've got a mission for ya!
Wiz and Boomstick read out an advertisement for Lenovo.
Boomstick: But right now, IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEE!!!
Death Battle[]
It was a very snowy day in the town of Park County, Colorado,otherwise known as South Park. It was actually to the point where these six kids would be tired and bored of all the snow and also sick of sometimes getting too chilly that they wanted to change their routine.
Lucky,they got just that. Recently,there had been six tickets conveniently hidden within a few boxes of Frosted Flakes to a free trip to any state of their choosing.
After waking up one morning and pouring themselves each a bowl of cereal in their own houses,a ticket would come out and Stan,Tolken,Kenny,tweek,Wendy,and Timmy had all won a free trip to any place they wanted.
they went to a military base but they were vehicles with decepticons symbols on some of those along with a strange alien looking jet
stan confused punched a normal looking jet
after that starscream transformed and nearly killed the kids
but they got away
that alien looking jet transformed into megatron
starscream told megatron to locate and attack the kids
megatron said decepticons transform and rise up
they headed to south park in there alt modes
and destroyed south park elementary
but the freedom pals showed up
megatron who are you foolish insects
mysterion said we are the freedom pals you assholes
megatron said you are so weak
brawl fired missiles at the freedom pals but missed
toolshed threw a tool at him but it wouldn't help
call girl helped with phone destroyer dealing small damage to the decepticons
mysterion punched starscream dealing half the damage that it does to kids
doctor timothy tried to mind control megatron but that didnt work out
blackout slashes wonder tweek with his rodar blades causing damage
bonecrusher slamed call girl to the ground resulting in damage
but tupperwave teleported on barricades back with his mk3 suit
toolshed said.thanks tupperwave!
toolshed got onto barricades head and brutally killed him
megatron angry shot at mysterion decapitating him
toolshed:oh my god you killed kenny
call girl:you bastards
megatron then blasted call girl burying her in rubble before megatron blasted at the buried call girl killing her
toolshed:you will pay for killing girlfriend
but was punched by starscream
megatron:join kenny and wendy in extinction timmy megatron combined his hands forming a fusion cannon blowing timothy into someones house
toolshed dismantled megatron's arm and leg and killed him
however little to know the constructicons arrived to fix megatron
meanwhile wonder tweek used his whether abilities on brawl blowing him up
tupper wave ripped bonecrushers arm and then his head
starscream:off of my head you kid
starscream was blown up by toolshed
but megatron was revived in his rotf body
megatron:you kid heroes must die
megatron finished doctor timothy off by shooting him
tupperwave tried to get on megatron but had his suit ripped in two
blackout finished tupper wave by deploying scorpnok ripping poor tupperwares head off
megatron called for extra back up to includes the fallen and shockwave witch beaten up toolshed
toolshed: oh no
toolshed was killed by some back up
megatron transformed into his tank mode flying and then landed still and the turret is aimed at wonder tweak
wonder tweek:oh fuck
megatron shot a purple laser which is an ability used by king pig in the angry birds transformers trailer at wonder tweak
wonder tweek trying to withstand it disintegrated into dust
the decepticons being victorious stand still with their leader staring at the now dead kids
megatron:we are done here
Results[]
the coon and friends found the deceased freedom pals bodies
while the evil decepticons fly off to the sunset.
music:rey axel transformers
Boomstick: Whoa-ho-ho! How did that happen?
Wiz: I'm sure Those kids from south park could've won in specific circumstances, but more times than not, the evil decepticons from the movies takes the victory. Keep in mind, this analysis on the decepticons were done with the focus on the movies and their closely tied media, excluding alternate contrary sources, like the g1 cartoon,animated and prime where the all of decepticons are essentially entirely different characters from their on screen counterparts.
Boomstick: south park kids have powers in the bag, obviously, but the decepticons even there leader Megatron was way too tough for him.
Wiz: Their age and strength paint this picture very, very clearly.
Boomstick: But, I know what you're thinking: how did the evil alien transforming giant robots millions of years old win against a team of kids from south that have a few powers to defeat him?"
Wiz: it is implied those kids barely know how powers and are million years younger than the decepticons.
We cut to Wiz and Boomstick.
Boomstick: then are the decepticons skilled more than the freedom pals
Wiz: yes the decepticons being millions of years old have known how to fight
Boomstick:well megatron was weaker than prime in rotf
Wiz:well it is implied but prime was more trained and megatron even took a bite out of prime
Wiz:the only way that the freedom pals could defeat the original 6 decepticons is if the new kid helped the freedom pals out in this but thats cheating at the end of the day
We cut back to the post-analysis.
Wiz:with the kids not making a good team would lead to them taken out for good
Boomstick:the freedom pals just joined prime in extinction
Wiz:winners are the decepticons