Bayonetta vs Spawn is a What-If? episode of Death Battle.
INTERLUDE[]
Boomstick: Superstition. Religious metaphors. Badass assassins. Yeah. This is the fight we want more than Goku and Superman.
Wiz: Bayonetta, one of the two Umbra Witches left in the world, from the Bayonetta series.
Boomstick: And Spawn, Todd McFarlane's dream creation and the leader of Hell's army.
Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick.
Boomstick: This is our job to see who would win: The DEATH BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!!!!!!!!
BAYONETTA REACHES HER HIGHEST PURPOSE IN DEATH BATTLE[]
Wiz: Over 500 years ago, Cereza was born between two rival clans, the Umbra Witches and the Lumen Sage.
Boomstick: The who?
Wiz: In short, the Lumen Sage are people of light, the Umbra Witches are darkness.
Boomstick: Cereza's birth got those two really pissed, so they put her parents in jail and teach the kid magic. Over time, she made a friend named Jeanne and actually participated in this battle between clans.
Wiz: But Jeanne took away her memories and put her into a 500 year sleep. When she woke up, Cereza became: Bayonetta.
Boomstick: She looks good for her age.
Wiz: She's a great fighter for her age. And she has the weapons to help her. In Bayonetta's arsenal she has several amazing weapons such as:
- Love is Blue: four powerful hand guns that are even parts of her boots that are powerful on a supernatural scale.
- Shuraba: a katana which can suck out the souls of its victims.
- Durga: gauntlets that blast fire or fire or electricity.
- Odette: ice skates, which can FREEZE LAVA!!
- Alruna: a whip laced with poison.
- And the Takemikazuchi: A hammer WHICH CAN CAUSE EARTHQUAKES!!
Boomstick: To hell with that! Bayonetta's got way cooler powers! She has:
- The Witch Walk, which turns her into a sexier female spider-witch! Okay, it makes her able to walk on walls, ceilings and the light of the Moon.
- She also has the Witch Time ability, that SLOWS DOWN TIME TO ALMOST NOTHING!!
- And she has the most badass power of all: the Beast Within, which allows her to TURN INTO ANIMALS, IMPROVING HER STRENGTH, SPEED, FLIGHT AND REDUCES ANY DAMAGE SHE RECIEVES!!!
Wiz: That's not the best part. She's thrown a giant satilite with her legs, dodged 16 bullets in one thousandth of a second, took a superpowered bullet to her face (She shrugged it off.), headbutted a skyscraper and DEFEATED GOD. Not to mention her costume is made
Bayonetta-Bayonetta meets Cereza (Sub Eng).-0
from the very hair on her head.
Boomstick: I don't know if that's hot or weird.
Wiz: You think Sindel is hot (who's hair is like a giant tenticle).
Boomstick: Fair enough.
SPAWN LEADS THE ARMIES OF HELL INTO DEATH BATTLE[]
Wiz: In every comic book universe, there is always a form of heaven and hell.
CALL ME SPAWN...
Boomstick: And in May 1992, Todd McFarlane showed his idea of the devil... in a bad PlayStation 1 game.
Wiz: Let's not talk about the movie. Al Simmons was a skilled assassin, a loving husband and a good father.
Boomstick: He was the best of them all, but his asshole boss decided to take him out for good and steal his wife. Bastard.
Wiz: Due to his crimes of Al's... career, he was banished to hell and met the devil himself: Malebolgia.
Boomstick: But since everybody's an asshole here, Malebolgia gave him a choice: rot in hell forever, or become the leader of Hell's army and see his wife again. Being the nice guy he was, he decided to be the general of Satan's army.
Wiz: Al was reborn, and became a Hellspawn.
Boomstick: Not to mention that HE WAS REBORN IN HIS DEAD ROTTING BODY FIVE YEARS LATER AND LOOKS WORSE THAN DEADPOOL!!! IS EVERYONE A SHITTY ASS DOUBLE CROSSING MOTHERF***ER IN THIS UNIVERSE?!?
Wiz: Maybe...?
Boomstick: SHIT!!
Wiz: But after turning on Malebogia for leaving him in a fate worse than death, Simmons became a vigilante named Spawn.
Boomstick: With his new life, he got a bunch of new powers, like a symbiotic suit that can make awesome crap like:
- Spikes.
- Claws.
- Swords.
- Maces.
- Battle axes.
- And can even make his cape longer! What's so good about that?
Wiz: Well, this allows him to fly, teleport, turn invisible and use long-range attacks.
Boomstick: Say what now?
Wiz: He can attack from a distance with his cloak.
Boomstick: Spawn can use magic to do cool shit like control matter, read animal's minds, heal people and even bring them back from the dead! Hell yeah! These powers are awesome!
Wiz: Except for one problem. His power is limited and when it runs out, Spawn returns to hell and Malebolgia's army takes over the world. Think of it as a power level in a video game.
Boomstick: So he conserves his power by using guns? Damn, that's awesome. Some of his favorites are:
- Heckler & Koch MP5A3.
- Colt 9mm SMG.
- Modifyed Cobray M11/9 made to look like a "Faux" FN P90.
- A Walther MPK.
- Olympics Arm OA-93.
- Armsel Striker/Street Sweeper short barrel.
- Heckeler & Koch HK93.
- Steyr AUG.
- Franchi SPAS-15.
- And a Mossberg M500 Bullpup.
Damn, he's got more weapons then the Terminator!
Wiz: Speaking of which, did you know that both Terminator and Spawn are both playable characters on Mortal Kombat 11?
Boomstick: For real?
Wiz: Yes.
Boomstick: Hell yeah!! But wait, how does he recharge his power?
Wiz: Actually, he can recharge his power via absorbing the sins of others. Speaking of which, Spawn has done many incredible things such as:
- Defeated Malebolgia.
- Defeated Redeemer who is THE ANTI-SPAWN, who later became the Metatron (The highest rank of all the Angels).
- Defeated every demon in Hell.
MORTAL KOMBAT 11 Spawn Gameplay Trailer MK11 (2020) HD
- Got stabbed with a batarang in his face.
- Merged with the Mother of Existance.
- Dethroned God and the Devil.
- Spawn even defeated Lobo. Who knew?
Even on the tier system, he's ranked as a 4 B. This means he can destroy MULTIPLE PLANETS!
Boomstick: You know, I think I want to be a Spawn.
Wiz: I doubt that you would make a powerful Hellspawn. You can't even ride a motercycle.
Boomstick: Screw you.
PRE-BATTLE[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possiblities.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!
DEATH BATTLE[]
(Spawn sits on a church steeple, watching a funeral in the middle of the night. He begins to sense a threatening spiritual presence as a rather large ((tall, not fat)) woman in white walks into the church. As everyone enters the building except for Bayonetta, Spawn floats down behind her.)
Bayonetta: Erzo dear, go inside.
Bayonetta
SPAWN
Erzo: What the hell for?
Bayonetta: I have some... business to conduct.
Erzo: Well, shit. Do I nearly get killed... again?
Bayonetta (smiles): No.
(Erzo enters the church as Bayonetta turns to confront Spawn.)
Bayonetta: Hello there.
Spawn: Who the hell are you?
Bayonetta: You should answer first, darling.
(Bayonetta pulls out the Shuraba, while Spawn secretly pulls out two machine guns.)
Spawn: Bring it on, bitch.
FIGHT!!!
(Bayonetta charges at Spawn with the Shuraba. Spawn throws his cloak back and pulls out twin machine guns. While Spawn unleashes bullets on Bayonetta, she dodges the bullets with no trouble and swings the sword slicing his chest. Spawn turns his head to face Bayonetta.)
Spawn: Nice try. But I don't have a soul to take.
Bayonetta: Just making sure.
(Pulling out her Durgas, she jumps over Spawn, who shoots out one of his chains cutting Bayonetta's clothing. Summoning more chains while shooting more bullets, Bayonetta's clothing was getting sliced causing her to lose the clothing and summons her costume.)
Spawn: Huh. That's new.
POWER LEVEL: 8:7:1:0.
(Spawn jumps into the air and attacks Bayonetta while she is airborn. She pulls out two pistols and shoots Spawn in the face as they fly far away from the church.)
Bayonetta: What's the matter? Can't stand to be on holy ground?
(She shoots Spawn in the face again, causing both of them to crash. Spawn remembers not to waste too much power, so he reloads his guns. Bayonetta grabs her guns and points them at Spawn as he points one of his guns at her head.)
Spawn: Stop fucking around.
Bayonetta: You first.
(Cue Lose Yourself)
(Bayonetta kicks Spawn's gun using all four Love is Blue guns. Spawn manages to wrap a chain around Bayonetta, but in the process, uses more of his power than he should be. Then, Spawn summons an army of chains to attack Bayonetta, which leaves a few cuts.)
POWER LEVEL: 8:3:8:0.
Spawn: Afraid yet?
Bayonetta: If there's two things I hate, it's crying children and cockroaches. Well, I suppose the worst that could be is a crying baby cockroach.. but you don't scare me.
Spawn: That's your own goddamn fault.
Bayonetta: No. This is.
(Bayonetta summons an Iron Maiden and Spawn is pulled into it. Spawn falls out full of holes and heals himself.)
POWER LEVEL: 8:0:5:0.
Spawn: Damn--
(She then drags him into the Tredmill of Blades, filling him with holes.)
POWER LEVEL: 7:7:2:7.
(Spawn is then trapped in the Guillotine, watching as the blade is about to decapitate him.)
Spawn: Shit...
POWER LEVEL: 7:1:8:1.
(Using his superhuman strength, Spawn breaks free. Bayonetta jumps at Spawn shooting him and wasting his energy. He then pulls out an axe and manages to distract Bayonetta enough to pull out a gun and shoot her in the leg. She looks up and sees that Spawn is gone. Then, she fells a sharp pain in her arm. Bayonetta thinks of where Spawn is hiding and summons Madama Butterfly's limbs and grabs Spawn, who was invisible. After smashing Spawn with quite a few punches, his power is lowered violently with Spawn's healing.)
POWER LEVEL: 1:0:5:2.
Bayonetta: Had enough Spawn?
Spawn: You think you're perfect. You're no better then that motherfucker Malebolgia.
Bayonetta: That's no way to speak to a lady.
Spawn: I mean your sins. You've commited more sins against God and Malebolgia. In fact, you have more sins than those two combined. You know what I can do? I feed off of that.
(Bayonetta stumbles back as Spawn's power increases tenfold.)
Bayonetta: How?!
Spawn: Simple. You're my bitch.
POWER LEVEL: 9:9:9:9.
(Spawn enlarges his cloak to the point it covers the alleyway. Bayonetta pulls out the Alruna and Takemikazuchi and attacks Spawn, who wraps his cloak and chains around her arms. Spawn pulls her arms so she is ripped apart into two pieces. Then, he pulls out all his weapons and shoots her body. Bayonetta, while barely alive struggles to speak when Spawn walks right to her. Spawn pulls back his fist and hit her head so hard, Bayonetta's head is ripped off hanging off of Spawn's knuckle spikes.)
Violator: Looks like there's one Umbra Witch left. Why don't you go get 'er?
Spawn: Tell Malebolgia to go fuck himself.
(Spawn pulls out a gun and shoots Violator in the face.)
Violator: Asshole.
(Spawn flies away to the steeple again. He sits as people leave the funeral.)
Spawn: Wanda. I will come back for you.
K.O.!
RESULTS[]
Boomstick: HOLY SHIT!!! WAS THAT KEITH DAVID?!
Wiz: This battle was very close (Bayonetta beat God, Spawn beat the Devil). But the actual devil is in the details. Spawn could repower himself off of Bayonetta's sins for example. Even if she didn't have any regreats, Spawn would recharge himself just with her sins.
Boomstick: Even if Spawn's guns ran out of bullets, he can make his own weapons. Bayonetta's weapons also were useless on Spawn because he's LITERALLY SOULESS AND INDESTRUCTIBLE!!! He can only be killed with either holy weapons, or decapitation.
Wiz: Bayonetta is agile and faster, but Spawn had the strength, weaponry and power to take this match.
Boomstick: Looks like Bayonetta will be rotting in hell. Literally.
Wiz: The winner is Spawn.
Spawn