Description[]
DC vs Marvel. Which of these two technological masters with a motifs will win in a battle to the death?
Interlude[]
Wiz: Superheroes and supervillains usually have one theme around them, and stick with it.
Boomstick: Like Batman, the most popular superhero of...all time, really.
Wiz: And the Green Goblin, archenemy of Spider-Man.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Batman[]
Wiz: I'm sure many of you know who Batman is.
Boomstick: And if you don't, well...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?
Wiz: Bruce Wayne was an ordinary, rich boy living with Thomas and Martha Wayne in Gotham City. Until one fateful night at the opera.
Boomstick: We all know the story, Thomas and Martha were gunned down by a common thug, making Bruce an orphan.
Wiz: From that point on, Bruce went into vigorous training, dedicating the rest of his life to fighting crime, and after a bat crashed through his window, he decided to make everything he develops bat-shaped.
Boomstick: Bruce pushed his body to the absolute limit. He's able to bench press over 1000 pounds, he mastered every known martial art, of which there are about 127.
Wiz: He also has a photographic memory and can memorize the shape of a cheek he's punched, which probably doesn't influence much.
Boomstick: He's a master escape artist and 'the world's greatest detective', which isn't a bad title to have. Maybe I can use Batman to find out who drank my beer while I was asleep.
Wiz: Boomstick, that was you! You were drunk and sleep-drank. I didn't think it was possible, but I saw it.
Boomstick: Awesome.
Wiz: He's mastered stealth and silent takedowns, which is a given, as he was trained by the League of Assassin's, so don't try to sneak up on him.
Boomstick: He's also in the Justice League. So...take that as you will.
Wiz: But Bruce cannot defeat criminals with his fists alone. That's where the Batsuit comes in. Designed to be lightweight, it's weaved with Kevlar, making it resistant to knives and gunfire, as well as immune to fire and electricity.
Boomstick: Bruce also has some handy gadgets to aid him in battle. The most iconic being the Batarang. These were originally boomerangs, but were redesigned to be razor-sharp shurikens. He even has several types, some include electric shock, knockout dart and my personal favourite, grenade.
Wiz: He also owns a grappling hook to get him to places he can't reach by himself, a stun gun, smoke pellets, different types of grenades, tracers, bolas, sonic emitters, antidotes to different poisons and lots of other things.
Boomstick: Like tear gas, sonic Batarangs which can summon bats, remote-controlled and homing Batarangs, a Batclaw to grab enemies, explosive gel, shock gauntlets which can k.o superhumans, a kryptonite ring, a disruptor which can stop vehicles and technology from working, and shark repellent, because...sharks are dangerous, okay?.
Wiz: And the cherry on top, his Batsuit also has an electrode network through his suit, to stop and shock anyone from taking it, but it's the equivalent to a normal taser.
Boomstick: It can also stop readings of heartbeats and heat signatures. The Batsuit also has bladed gauntlets that can cut through metal and can stop blows from swords.
Wiz: Batman's cape allows him to glide, can stun opponents if hit with it, and can block small explosions and gunfire.
Boomstick: His cowl -the head mask thing- has night vision and infra-red sensors. it can also read the mental and physical state of the opponent.
Wiz: He can even remotely control his tricked out ride, the Batmobile. This thing has the armour of tanks, has dual machine and 60mm guns. It can even reach subsonic speeds, because it's rocket powered.
Boomstick: Because, why not?
Wiz: Batman is one of the smartest humans around, he's outsmarted Lex Luthor, Ra' AND Talia al Ghoul, and can outsmart the Joker, who's able to beat Ra' al Ghoul in chess, which isn't an easy feat.
Boomstick: He's also super quick, able to dodge point-blank gunfire and RPG's, which have an average speed of 300 meters per second, or 1080 kilometres per hour, a.k.a 671 miles per hour. N-Not many people can do that.
Wiz: Yet somehow Batman can. He's also been able to survive a tank shell. Somehow, as well as dodging Darkseid's nearly unstoppable Omega Lasers, he's also been able to sneak past Superman without alerting him to his presence. Which is impressive when you look at Superman's senses.
Boomstick: Yeah, but this guy is still only human. Somehow, because of this, he can be put down by things that will kill a normal man and his Batsuit does not stop against high-calibre gunfire.
Wiz: Don't forget, he's also prone to lashing out, which he knows and takes measures for. Also, that giant mouth hole in his cowl is a pretty big target.
Boomstick: He's not superhuman, but he might as well be.
Wiz: You need more than just a lot of power to kill the Batman.
(Batman: You're afraid of being ashes. You're afraid of being forgotten! And you will BE forgotten, Joker. Because of ME.)
Green Goblin[]
Wiz: Before he was the Green Goblin, Norman Osborn was a successful businessman who owned OsCorp, a corporation focusing on chemistry and technology.
Boomstick: Norman Osborn was fascinated with Spider-Man and had a strained relationship with his son, Harry Osborn. He was determined to NOT be like his old man, a drunk, abusive father.
Wiz: Sounds like your dad, Boomstick.
Boomstick: YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!-I mean, good joke, Wiz.
Wiz: But OsCorp was going under. To stop the company from being bought from other investors, Norman tried to use a new superhuman formula they were working on, kind of like Captain America's super serum.
Boomstick: But, surprise, surprise! Something went wrong. Norman took the serum, which gave him superhuman abilities, but there was a side-effect. He slowly turned insane.
Wiz: The serum gave Norman a bloodthirsty alter-ego, one that was out to cause carnage and destroy Spider-Man for no apparent reason. This was the Green Goblin.
Boomstick: The Green Goblin is surprisingly experienced in hand-to-hand combat and is a master martial artist, able to match Spider-Man.
Wiz: He has superhuman levels of stamina, able to maintain movements for over a day without tiring out.
Boomstick: The Green Goblin is also incredibly strong, able to lift 9 tons, just short of Spider-Man. He can also react and move around at superhuman speeds, able to react to and keep pace with Spider-Man, who can run up to 200 miles per hour.
Wiz: The Green Goblin certainly isn't a pushover. He's able to survive being blasted through many cars after being hit with a sniper bullet and he was fine.
Boomstick: And unlike Sam Raimi's Spider-Man, The Green Goblin can survive being stabbed with his own glider. Turns out he does that a lot.
Wiz: He can survive these things because that super serum hardened and fortified his body tissue. He's able to tank hits from the 10 ton lifting Spider-Man, although it isn't as good as protecting against blades.
Boomstick: He's even able to survive against other superhumans and fell several stories, and he was fine. The Goblin serum also gave the Green Goblin a regenerative healing factor. While not as OP as Wolverine's or anyone like that, it is formidable. After being stabbed by his glider, he healed the wound and it left a small scar on his chest.
Wiz: And turns out owning OsCorp was a good call. The Green Goblin owns a glider, the glider can fly at 90 miles per hour and is voice controlled, meaning it can't be hacked into, it also means that the Green Goblin can control it through his mask.
Boomstick: It also sometimes has flamethrowers, heat-seeking and smart missiles, machine guns, retractable blades and a pumpkin bomb dispenser.
Wiz: Though with a full load, the Goblin Glider's fuel only lasts about an hour, it's still gives Spider-Man a hard time to deal with.
Boomstick: He also has the Goblin Armour, which amplifies his insane durability and is an effective defence against knives and gunfire. The gauntlets have the capability to fire electricity out of the fingertips.
Wiz: The boots have small jets that allow him to glide around, though he prefers the glider, and his mask makes him immune to his own gasses from Pumpkin Bombs and other weapons.
Boomstick: Heh, heh. 'his own gasses'. Ahem, speaking of Pumpkin Bombs, he owns a 'Bag of Tricks', which is filled with all sorts of goodies to cause deadly destruction or serious injury and death.
Wiz: The regular Pumpkin Bomb is little more than a flashbang designed to stun opponents briefly, he has designed plenty more. Some can explode with enough force to break concrete and send cars flying. The Incendiary Pumpkin Bombs can explode with enough heat to melt through three whole inches of steel.
Boomstick: And the Gas Pumpkin can release hallucinogenic gasses or narcotic gasses to disrupt an opponent. Also in his Bag of Tricks is a Glue Bomb, kinda self-explanatory, a Ghost Net, and tons of different bat-shaped projectiles he throws around. Now, why does that sound familiar?
Wiz: The Green Goblin is an expert marksman with these, he almost never misses. There are also many different types. These include electro-shock bats and smoke bats. These are sharp enough to cut through Spider-Man's webbing.
Boomstick: It takes a lot to kill the Green Goblin. I mean, a lot. More than a lot. He was once thrown into a turret full of hundreds of Pumpkin Bombs, WHICH THEN EXPLODED IN HIS FACE! and he was fine.
Wiz: But despite all this, he isn't perfect. He prefers to outsmart his opponents, meaning that he treats martial arts as a last resort and not as an important skill to learn, he suffers from a split personality complex and a superiority complex.
Boomstick: Not to mention, he is insane.
Wiz: Right. He's also incredibly obsessed with causing chaos and Spider-Man, which can sometimes distract him.
Boomstick: But the Green Goblin is your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man's arch-nemesis for a reason.
(Green Goblin: We all wear masks Spider-Man, but which one is real? The one that hides your face, or the one that is your face?)
Intermission[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!
Death Battle[]
Green Goblin: Ah! It's perfect!
The Green Goblin grabs a diamond necklace and other jewellery and stores it in his Bag of Tricks. As it turns out, the Green Goblin's robbing a jewellery store. After taking nearly everything from the store, he laughs in triumph.
Suddenly, the alarm goes off.
Green Goblin: What? My voice set it off? What a rip.
A few blocks away, Batman is perched on top of a building and listening to a police scanner.
Policeman: All units in the area, be advised. There is a robbery at Bejewelled, the jewellery store. I repeat, there is a robbery at Bejewelled.
Batman grappled to different buildings and lands on the streets near the store. He hears the alarm and narrows his eyes. Batman walks over to the store and sees the Green Goblin there. The Green Goblin turns around and sees Batman there and drops a piece of jewellery he was holding.
Green Goblin: And there goes a successful robbery out the window!
Batman growls and gets into a fighting stance. The Green Goblin does the same.
Green Goblin: We're really doing this? Alright.
The Green Goblin readies a Pumpkin Bomb.
Batman throws a Batarang while the Green Goblin throws a Pumpkin Bomb. The Green Goblin dodges the Batarang and Batman dives away from the Pumpkin Bomb. Batman fires his Batclaw at the Green Goblin, which catches his arm. Batman pulls the Green Goblin toward him and lands a combination of punches and kicks. The Green Goblin manages to block an attack from Batman and punch him in the face before leaping off him and throwing some more Pumpkin Bombs.
Batman dives behind a counter to stop the brunt of the explosions and throws a grenade Batarang at the Green Goblin. He's too slow to avoid the explosion and is forced against a wall. Batman uses his the Green Goblin's temporary distraction and applies some Exploding Gel on the floor in front of him. The Green Goblin throws a bat projectile and a Pumpkin Bomb at Batman, which throws him for a second. Batman throws his cape up in front of him, absorbing most of the impact from the explosion, but he knocks the bat away with his gauntlet.
The Green Goblin throws a Glue Bomb at the ground and sets it off with a bat, throwing Batman against a wall and incapacitating him.
Green Goblin: Ha! Glue Bomb! Want one?
Batman smiles.
Batman: No.
Batman sets off his Exploding Gel, the heat of which burns through the glue and pushes the Green Goblin away. Batman pulls out his Stun Gun and fires a round at the Green Goblin, causing him to freeze in place. Batman beats up the Green Goblin and throws him against a wall, following up with a kick to the face.
The Green Goblin kicks out at Batman, knocking him back.
Green Goblin: Whoo! Nice one! Here's mine.
The Green Goblin fires electricity out of his fingers, which causes Batman to fall on his knees. The Green Goblin walks toward Batman and picks him up. He throws Batman against the jewellery shop door and charges toward him. Batman recovers from this move quickly and throws a Gas Pellet on the floor. While the Green Goblin is confused, Batman grapples to the roof and kicks him through the door and out onto the street.
Batman: You won't be out on the streets any longer.
He places a finger to his temple.
Batman: Call the Batmobile.
The Green Goblin jumps to his feet and hears the roaring of a car. He looks to his left and sees the Batmobile flying toward him. He jumps in the air, but jumps a second too late. The Green Goblin lands on the Batmobile's hood. Dazed and hurt, the Green Goblin turns around and sees that the Batmobile is heading straight for a building.
Green Goblin: Here comes the Goblin Glider!
He jumps off the Batmobile and is caught by the Goblin Glider. Batman forces the Batmobile to stop so it doesn't smash into the building. Batman throws an Electro-shock Batarang and the Green Goblin throws his own bat. The two smack into each other and uselessly fall to the ground.
Green Goblin: HA! (Laughs) Try this on for size!
The Green Goblin fires his machine guns at Batman, who somersaults away and uses acrobatic skills to avoid the bullets.
Batman: Amateur.
The Green Goblin flies straight toward Batman, firing the glider's smart missiles. Batman tries to grapple away to another building, but the missile follows him. He grabs his homing Batarang and throws it at the missile. As the Batarang hits the missile it explodes, damaging the building Batman was on and causing him to fall. The Green Goblin gets distracted while laughing and doesn't notice Batman glide behind him. Batman throws an electric Batarang at the Glider, causing it to malfunction.
Green Goblin: Damn!
The Glider starts to deactivate, but in a last ditch attempt, he points it at Batman and activates its hidden blades and jumps off, falling on the ground. Batman rolls out the way of the Glider, which crashes into the jewellery store.
Batman turns his head and looks at the Green Goblin, who's struggling to stand up.
Green Goblin: Argh...Damnit...
Batman walks over to the Green Goblin and picks him up by the neck.
Green Goblin: Before I die, just one question...(coughs).
Batman tightens his grip on the Green Goblin's neck.
Green Goblin: Wh-....What's your...name?
Batman: I'm Batman.
Batman throws the Green Goblin back into the jewellery store. Batman calmly walks back into the store, gripping a Batarang. Suddenly, he stops in his tracks. The Green Goblin's not here, but wait! He must be! Batman turns on his infra-red sensor and sees the Green Goblin behind the main counter.
Batman: There's a place in Arkham for people like you.
The Green Goblin appears over the counter and throws an Electro-shock bat at him.
Green Goblin: There's a special place in Hell for people like YOU!
He runs at Batman at full speed and lands a punch to the face. Batman staggers backwards but readies himself. The two exchange blows, neither of them hitting, but Batman sweeps the Green Goblin's legs, knocking him down. The Green Goblin rolls backward and jumps to his feet, throwing two Incendiary Pumpkin Bombs at Batman.
Green Goblin: A fiery place in Hell.
Batman throws his cape up again, but the two bombs are too much for him. They both burn through the cape and surround Batman in flames, he screams in pain while the Green Goblin laughs maniacally. Batman falls to the ground and the Green Goblin walks closer to investigate him. The Green Goblin turns Batman onto his back and sees that the grenades burned two large holes through the suit.
The Green Goblin stands up, triumphant and begins to walk away. Suddenly, Batman's eyes shoot wide open. He gets to his feet and throw a Batarang at the Green Goblin, which lodges in his chest, squirting out blood. He twists around to Batman and runs at him. Batman, exhausted and beaten, has no defence and falls prey to a devastating combo by the Green Goblin.
An uppercut from the Green Goblin knocks the cowl off Batman's head, revealing Bruce Wayne. The Green Goblin grabs Bruce's head and violently twists it. A large CRACK! echoes into the darkness.
Green Goblin: See you there.
Batman falls to the ground, dead.
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: And this ends the reign of the Batman.
Wiz: This battle was surprisingly close. The Green Goblin had the advantage in speed and strength, while Batman was smarter and had more gadgets.
Boomstick: But Batman's punches were nothing to the Green Goblin, we're talking about the dude who goes toe-to-toe with Spider-Man regularly. Hell, he even survived a beatdown and stayed conscious after a bloodlusted Spider-Man gave him a proper beatdown.
Wiz: And the Green Goblin's gadgets mostly countered Batman's, but had more destructive capabilities behind them, while Batman designed most of his weapons to be non-lethal, the Green Goblin did design his weapons to be lethal. The Pumpkin Bombs were a great counter to the Grenade Batarangs and Exploding Gel, and his Glue Bombs and Ghost Net countered bolas and any other thing he could trap him with.
Boomstick: Don't get us wrong, Batman was no pushover, but the Green Goblin did more than Batman could. Batman's suit can stop gunfire and actual fire, sure. The Green Goblin, however, was blasted past many cars because of a sniper bullet, and he was fine. Keep in mind, the Green Goblin had worse armour than Batman. Kevlar is much better than chainmail.
Wiz: And Batman's Gas Bombs can't really affect Green Goblin, because of his mask, and vice versa.
Boomstick: when you can resist 10 tons of force, attack with 9 tons of force and your enemy can only output 1000 pounds, Batman didn't have many ways of defeating the Green Goblin, but the Green Goblin didn't have many ways of taking Batman down.
Wiz: Overall, they're gadgets may have basically countered each other, but the Green Goblin's superior strength, durability, speed and equipment trumped him in the end.
Boomstick: I guess Batman 'snapped' under the pressure from the Green Goblin.
Wiz: The winner is the Green Goblin