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Batman VS Wolverine
Season 1, Episode 19
Vital statistics
Air date October 2, 2015
Written by Shrek-it Ralph
Directed by Shrek-it Ralph
Episode guide
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Batman VS Wolverine is a What if? Death Battle

Description[]

Two crime fighters, named after an animal, with superhuman abilities, fight to see who is deadliest!

Beginning[]

Wiz: Crime fighters come in many ways, but either way, they still get the job done.

Boomstick: Like Bruce Wayne, the Batman

Wiz: And James Howlett, the Wolverine

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills and fight out who would win a Death Battle?

Batman[]

Wiz: When Bruce was just a kid, his parents were murdered by a common street thug named Joe Chill. After this, Wayne dedicated his entire life to stopping injustice.

Boomstick: Except for the injustice of him being played by Ben Affleck!

Wiz: Batman is a master martial artists, mastering all styles known to man.

Boomstick: But if that's not good enough, Batman carries around his handy dandy Utility Belt, which contains many gadgets and traps.

Wiz: The gadgets include Batarangs, which are sharp, boomerangs Batman throws at his enemies. Sometimes, they explode on contact with enemy.

Boomstick: The Grappling Gun is used to help Batman reach farther areas or pull his enemies near him, and can be also used for escape.

Wiz: Batman also has many smoke bombs, which help him do his infamous disappearing trick.

Boomstick: He could be right behind you right now!

Wiz: Batman's suit is also a tool in Batman's disposal. It is bulletproof, and can resist fire. His cape also acts like a glider, helping Batman glide across the battlefield.

Boomstick: Batman is also a genius, usually able to do things that not even Einstein could.

Wiz: He has dodged Darkseid's Omega Beams, survived in outer space for 24 seconds, broke into Area 51 and 52, and once defeated Superman and the Justice League with lots of prep.

Boomstick: Key word being prep, considering how it's used so many times by Batfans as an excuse for Batman winning!

Wiz: However, while not having real weaknesses, he has no super powers, and had to be rescued more times than other member of the JLA.

Boomstick: But remember Wiz, he's Batman!

Batman: I'm Batman!

Wolverine[]

Wiz: After his parents were killed at a young age, James "Logan" Howlett was kidnapped by the Weapon X Program.

Boomstick: Weapon X played a fun game of Operation on poor Wolverine! Though it probably wasn't fun for him.

Wiz: Weapon X had placed Adamantium inside his body, which is why he can retract and use his claws. They also gave him his Healing Factor, which Deadpool stole from him later on.

Deadpool: I didn't steal it! Well, technically, Weapon X did, so in yo face suckas!

Boomstick: Shut up!

Deadpool: Whatever, you guys are lame!

Wiz: Anyway, Wolverine is a very tough fighter. His claws can cut through steel and easily kill people. They are also 12 inches long.

Boomstick: He also possesses super senses, including super speed, super strength and super smell, which makes stealth users a walk in the park!

Wiz: His Healing Factor can quickly heal Wolverine from damage, but if it gets too severe, he's literally screwed.

Boomstick: Like that one time where Hulk literally ripped Wolvie in half!

Wiz: But his most powerful state is the Berserker Rage. In it, Wolverine goes on a rampage and can ignore all pain. He also will not stop until his foe is killed or he is taken down.

Boomstick: He has lifted a Great White Shark, battled Omega Red for 17 hours, and took a beat down from Phoenix, as well as many beat downs from Hulk.

Wiz: But Wolverine isn't the sharpest knife in the kitchen, as he is not very smart. He also has been beaten up by Punisher, Hulk, Captain America and one time got defeated by Spock during a crossover.

Boomstick: He got beat by Spock! How is that possible?!

Wiz: No idea.

Wolverine: I'm the best at what I do, but what I do isn't very nice.

Intermission[]

Wolverine vs batman 2











Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

Death Battle[]

Batman is watching over a tower to see for any crime. He suddenly sees Wolverine go up a man and stab him. He then sees Wolverine enter a dark alley.

Batman: Oracle, I've just spotted a criminal in an alley.

Oracle: Do you want to me to call the police to help you or do you want to do this yourself?

Batman: I'll gladly do this on my own.

Batman then activates his gliding system on his cape and swoops down to the alley, where he flies into Wolverine, knocking Logan down.

Wolverine: What was that for bub?

Batman: I'm here to take you down.

Wolverine: Bad move, bub.

FIGHT!

(Cue Batman 1989 Theme)

Batman throws two Batarangs at Wolverine, which Wolverine dodges one and catches the other.

Wolverine: It'll take more than boomerangs to take down the Wolverine!

Batman: They're more than just boomerangs.

Wolverine then sees the caught Batarang explode, knocking him back. Wolverine heals and dodges Batman's kick.

Batman then pulls out his Grappling Gun and fires it at Wolverine. Wolverine grabs it and pulls Batman over. He then uppercuts Batman with a punch, and reveals his claws.

Wolverine: Game over, bub!

Batman: Not yet.

Batman then pulls out his Shock Gloves and rapidly punches Wolverine. Batman then kicks Wolverine back into a trash can.

Batman: Now to finish him.

Batman then throws two explosive Batarangs at the trash can, but Wolverine hops out quickly and stabs Batman's leg.

Batman: Agh! My leg!

Batman then throws Wolverine off him into a wall. Wolverine heals quickly and runs at Batman at full speed.

Batman pulls out his Smoke Bomb and vanishes before Wolverine can get. Wolverine starts smelling the area for Batman's location. Before Wolverine knows it, Batman swoops down at Wolverine, and attempts to break his neck.

Wolverine: Let go of me bub!

Wolverine stabs Batman's chest, causing Batman to stumble back. Batman then uses a Grappling Gun in an attempt to escape.

Wolverine: Oh no you don't buster!

Wolverine scratches Batman's back, causing Batman to howl in pain. Batman then notices Wolverine looks a lot angrier. Wolverine was now in an unstoppable Berserker Rage.

Batman then hides behind a trash can and calls for Oracle.

Batman: Oracle, my opponent is too strong, call for the police to help.

Oracle: But I thought you wanted to do it yourself?

Batman: Oracle, you have to...AGH!

Wolverine had found Batman with his senses and rapidly stabbed him with his claws. After a few stabs at Batman's heart, the infamous Batman had fallen.

Wolverine: That's what ya get when ya mess with the ol' Kanucklehead!

Meanwhile, Oracle was frantic about what had happened to Bruce.

Oracle: Batman? Batman!? BATMAN!

KO!

Conclusion[]

Boomstick: That can't be good.

Wiz: While Batman did have more experience and was smarter than Wolverine, Wolverine's super human abilities were just too much for ol' Bruce Wayne.

Boomstick: His sense of smell and speed made stealth hard for Batman, considering that it could be easily caught by Wolverine, and stealth is pretty much Batman's main way of fighting.

Wiz: Also, Batman's armor wasn't durable enough to take Wolverine's claws, as they have never face someone like Wolverine before, which is why a few stabs to Batman's heart cost him his life.

Boomstick: Looks like today is a Bat day for Gotham City.

Wiz: The winner is Wolverine

Wolverine winz









Trivia[]

  • This battle was originally owned by Shyguysaysepicness, but was given to Shrek-it Ralph on a blog.
  • This is Shrek-it Ralph's second DC vs. Marvel battle, the first being The Riddler VS Mysterio
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