Your childhood hero's...WITH GUNS!
Description[]
DC vs Marvel! These two darker and edgier versions of Batman and Spidey shall duke it out in a fight to the finish! Who'll win?
Intro[]
Wiz: Batman and Spider-Man. For decades, these two have been childhood hero's, fighting for good and never killing.
Boomstick: So why not up the edge a bit for the older people out there? And by that, I mean MORE GUNS!
Wiz: Thomas Wayne, the Batman of the Flashpoint Universe.
Boomstick: And Peter Parker, the Spider-Man of the Noir Universe. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to find out who would win, a Death Battle.
Batman (Thomas Wayne)[]
Wiz: Batman. He's DC's mascot, being a symbol for Justice, vengeance, and bringing criminals to justice. He's a childhood icon to many kids and adults.
Boomstick: But, what if young Bruce Wayne was killed, and his father took up the role? That's what happens in Flashpoint, with the addition of Bats BEING FUCKING INSANE! (Flashes to a clip of Thomas Wayne killing crminals) Hot damn!
Wiz: Yes, this Batman is far more brutal then the normal version we all know and love. Doesn't stop him from being a badass though, as he is just as skilled in fighting as normal Batman, but with more lethal force. He is not afraid to throw his enemies off a cliff or anything.
Boomstick: He also carries around the standard Batman equipment: Grappling Hook, Batarangs, Smoke Bombs, tasers, etc. But he also has two duel-weild pistols that are pretty much normal guns. Wouldn't be suprised if they where called BatGuns to be honest.
Wiz: Plus he has Batman's iconic stealth. With it he's able to sneak around via using the area around him to his advantage. He's a silent and deadly type, striking when no body expects it. Add to the fact that, once again, Thomas is not afraid to kill, and we have a nearly invisible killer.
Boomstick: Oh, he also has a sword. Because...why not make him even more badass?
Wiz: Flashpoint Batman has done many impressive things. First off, before he even became Batman, he managed to find Joe Chill and kill him with his bare hands. As Batman, he killed Hush, Poison Ivy, and Scarecrow AND managed to hurt and even kill Reverse Flash, someone able to keep up with the normal Flash!
Boomstick: However, he is kind of...insane. Even he admits he has a few screws loose, and has a really bad temper. Plus, his suit isn't really ment for protection. Finally, we can assume that if someone says Martha, he'll weep for hours.
Wiz: If you can't tell, we didn't like Batman v Superman. Anyways, Thomas Wayne is still a force to be reckoned with.
"I'm a man who had nothing to live for--until the day I met the Flash."
Spider-Man (Noir)[]
Wiz: Spider-Man is another childhood classic hero, defending New York City with a bunch of quips and a large rouges gallery to fight.
Boomstick: The Noir version isn't very diffrent, either. However, his origin is a bit more fucked up...because the Vulture ate Uncle Ben in Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions. Yeeeaaahhh...
Wiz: Messed up origins aside, Noir Spidey has all the regular powers of Spider-Man. His most famous is his webbing, which he shoots out of his hands. It not only can be used as a offesive weapon, but also can be used to swing around the place and travel far distances. He also has two twin dual guns.
Boomstick: His other most famous is the Spider-Sense. It warns him of any sort of danger that is near him, and makes a tingling feeling when it's active. With it he's nearly invincible against others who try to stealth his ass. Ironicly though, he's pretty damn good at that as well!
Wiz: Yes, Boomstick, Noir is a better stealth attacker then most Spider-Men. His dark clothing allow him to blend in with the shadows perfectly and take out opponents with ease. And he's not afraid to be lethal, though only does it when he absolutly has to. Or is having a bad day. Either one works.
Boomstick: He also has the normal other Spidey powers: Climbing on walls, super strengh, somehow not barfing while he's swinging around, radioactive semin, and other stuff. Oh, and most likely 2 dozen girlfriends. That too.
Wiz: Noir Spidey has not only beaten his universes versions of Green Goblin/Norman Osborn, Vulture, and Hammer head, he's also help save the Multiverse twice: one time with 3 other Spideys against Mysterio, and another with a whole load of Spider-Men/Women/Pigs/???.
Boomstick: He is a little reckless, though. Sometimes he rushes into battle without a plan and even doesn't listen to his Spider-Sense when he doesn't think danger is around. Plus, he's got a serious edge problem. Like, Crawling in my skin-type edge.
Wiz: However, you should still fear the Spider-Man.
"When I leave, I feel dirty. I need to get up to the rooftops. Get the stench of this place of me."
Pre-Fight[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatiants are set! Lets end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
Death Battle[]
In Gotham City, at the same time as the Atlantians and Amazonians where having a war, Batman (Thomas Wayne) was shooting anyone who tried to attack him when he was suddenly pulled into an Allyway. There, a dark figure stood in front of him.
"Who are you?! Show yourself!" Thomas said as he pulled out his guns. "I'm the guy who's gonna kick your ass." The shadow replied. He stepped forward, revieled himself to be Spider-Man Noir, and pulled out his own pair of guns. "Now let's dance, old man."
Both pulled out there guns and started unloading on each other, with the bullets bouncing off of each other and onto the ground. They kept doing this until they both ran out of ammo, which both said "Damn!" and ran at each other. Spidey got the first hit, punching Bats in the gut. Bats retaliated with a kick to the shins and an uppercut throwing Noir back a bit. He then grabbed Noirs head and slammed it on his knee.
Noir stumbled back a bit, then shook his head and said "Damn, I thought this would be over quicker.", and shot a web at Bats, pulling him in towards him and punching him square in the face. Batman threw down a smoke bomb blinding Noir, then grappled onto a rooftop. Spidey gave chase, swinging on up there to chase down the egdier Batman. On the rooftop, Batman threw another Smoke Bomb, but Noir avoided it and jumped in front of Bats, sweep-kicking him onto the floor then webbing him to the floor.
Thomas Wayne struggled to get out as Noir taunted him, saying "Hey, you need any help?" Suddenly though Batman bursted out of the webs. "No thanks, I got it." He said as he kicked Spidey away and jumped through a broken sunroof into the building. Noir Spidey followed him in, and once inside he noticed it was pitch black. "Where could that old man be..." he said as suddenly his spidey-sense went off. "Bingo." he said to himself as he turned around and grabbed Bats leg, then threw him to the side.
"I guess you didn't know about my Spider-Sense. Bet you don't have one, though!" He said as he leaped towards Thomas. The dark knight tackled the Spider mid-air and crashed through the floor, falling through as they hit the bottom floor. Grunting, Batman gets back up and finds his opponent is gone. "I may not have powers..." he said as he pulled out his flashlight "But I don't need any." He then heard a thump as he pointed the light onto Noir, who was blinded for a second, letting Thomas kick him out of the window and back into the streets.
Spidey pulled back out his guns as Thomas Wayne jumped out of the window and tried to shoot the Flashpoint Batman, but he hid behind a bench, blocking the bullets. He then used his grappling hook to swing over Spideys head, jump off the wall behind Noir, then landed on him. Thomas then pulled out his sword and attempted to stab Noir, but he grabbed the Caped Crusader from another world and tossed him off. "That's it! Screw respecting your elders!" he said as he pulled a Manhole out of the ground and tossed it at Wayne. He simply ducked under it and shot at Noir, hitting him in the arm. "Gah!"
Both then ran at each other and tried to punch each other, with there fists colliding. Noir used his other arm to uppercut Bats, while Flashpoint Batman punched Noir in the stomach. Both stumbled back a bit, but Noir was the first to recover and grabbed and threw Flashpoint Batman into the air, then started covering him with webs, hanging him in the air. As he struggled to get out, Noir grabbed his guns and said "Well, it's been fun. Not really, but still." He then started shooting Batman, filling him with lead. He then shot him in the head, killing Thomas Wayne.
K.O!!!
Spider-Man Noir brushed his hand and thought to himself "Another job well done." He shot a web onto a building and swung off to find a way out of this weird universe.
Results[]
Boomstick: Now THAT'S how you start a series! Right Wiz?
Wiz: Indeed, Boomstick. Thomas Wayne may have been more expereanced and smarter, but Spider-Man Noir was stronger, faster, and more durable. Plus, Flashpoint Batman is more or less still just a human.
Boomstick: Didn't help that Noir's Spider Sense easly countered Batman's stealth, making it usless for Batman and having him relay on combat, where Noir is superior in.
Wiz: Finally, Flashpoint Batman has indeed killed Reverse Flash twice, but both times he simply caught him off guard. Noir, on the other hand, helped take down a god-like Mysterio with three other Spideys. Needless to say, Batman was screwed.
Boomstick: Hell, I'd go as far as to say that it didn't take a detective to figure this one out! Get it? Because they both are detectives?...yeah, I'll work on my puns.
Wiz: The winner is Spider-Man (Noir).
Next Time[]
Sometimes...a hero can be either utterly ridiculous...
TRA-LA-LAA!
Or just be weaker in comparison to his friends.
DESTRUCTO DISC!
Either way...both are bald.
Krillin vs Captain Underpants