| “ | This aged well... | „ |
Copper: Hi! this is a what-if Death Battle!
By Sharaku Jr.
Gold: Who is this?
X: A new host the creator Made.
Bart Pranks DEATH BATTLE![]
(Cue Legitimate Business)
(Done by Skyblazero)
Wiz: Bartholomew JoJo "Bart" Simpson, is the son of Homer and Marge. He's known for being a prankster who ocasionally takes thing a little so far.
Boomstick: Actually he has a Slingshot that can be used to fire stuff like rocks. Also has Cherry Bombs, which are strong to turn the toilets into geysers!
Wiz: And also has a Skateboard which allows him to move faster.
Boomstick: And has a Book of Magic that gives Bart the ability to summon the undead. He also has many weapons like handguns, shotguns, machine guns and grenades and he is a kid!
Wiz: Bart also has many alter-egos, like Bartman who can use his cape for gliding and has a grappling hook. Also was Strech Dude who can strech his limbs.
Boomstick: Cupcake Kid allows him throw cupcakes at his enemies and his more powerful alter-ego is... Bartzilla!
Wiz: This alter-ego makes him huge as Godzilla, and allows him to shoot fire and have increased strenght. Bart also has size manipulation, which allows him to change sizes.
Boomstick: Bart Simpson also can pull off a JoJo move his Stopwatch, allowing him to stop the time. It's even crazier that his middle name is JoJo.
Wiz: Bart also can transform into a vampire, which allows him to levitate and suck blood. His werewolf form allows him to use werewolf abilities like having claws and enchanted senses. His Zombie form which gives him the ability to eat brains, and his astral projection ability lets him turns into a ghost and possibly posses people.
Boomstick: Also Bart is strong enough to make an ostrich go inconscious by strangling it, and has matched the Principal Skinner in strenght before, the same guy who can plow through roads. Bart also survived being strangled by Homer on a daisy basis, and has survived falling off a building!
Wiz: But Bart has his weaknesses, Bart's Zombie summoning ability is guarented to back fire on him, Bartzilla has a time limit and his intelligence is very inconsistent.
Boomstick: But don't here that messes with Bart Simpson!
Bart: Eat my shorts!
Jevil Can do Anything in DEATH BATTLE![]
(Cue Legend)
Copper: All was normal for Kris until one day when he was paired with Susie by dare I say... Fate?
Gold: Fate?
X: Then when the two were tasked with getting chalk
Gold: SUSIE THREATENED TO EAT KRIS' FACE!
Copper: wait what?
X: Yup but after they Get to the closet with everyone's faces still intact the-
Gold: The floor fell!
(Cue Field of Hopes and Dreams)
Copper: And down they fell into the Dark World!
X: A place where a psychopathic king would rule the land!
Gold: Ok this feels like a campfire story stop it
Copper: and a puzzle obsessed duke who speaks in old talk
X: But the one who we are talking about today is the one who was locked away
Gold: Finally! That Darkner is named Jevil. The former court Jester.
Copper: Until The Hand of the Knight appeared and drove him insane. then he was Locked away.
X: However he states he was freed while the others locked themselves away
Gold: Then that's what you say to the guard in prison!
X: No! That's how you get in an insane asylum!
Gold: Well F*** You too!
(Cue ASGORE)
Copper: But anyway Jevil has many powerful abilities! Like the ability to make and throw Card suits!
Gold: He throws suits made of cards?
X: And the Devilsknife. A fast flying Scythe like projectile.
Copper: Made from himself!
Gold: Wait a minute if he's the Devilsknife then can he clone himself?
X: Well it seems more likely for now that he can create replicas of the devilsknife
Copper: He cann also summon... Boxes?
Gold: Murder boxes! they have attacks in them!
X: But his most annoying ability in my opinion is the carousel.
Gold: F*** That attack. It's nearly impossible to dodge!
X: Well it does have one flaw. the heads don't deal damage
Gold: Wait a minute.
Gold leaves the room
X: Jevil is also very durable due to casually taking multiple hits from a sword and an axe without any signs of injury
Gold: I'm back
Copper: Why do you have cards?
Gold:' To do this!
Gold starts throwing cards and yelling Jevil's catchphrases
(Cue Sans.)
X: So uh Anyway Jevil is also very fast By Scaling to Susie
Gold: But How Fast is Susie?
Copper: The Speed of Sound
X: She was able to Stop Ralsei from Talking to Lancer by Covering his Ears before it Reached Him
Gold: I Wish I Was that Fast...
Copper: If You were that Fast You would Cut The Planet in Half
Gold: Like Scourge!
Gold: But What about I Can Do Anything?
Copper: He means He can Use any Type Of Attack.
X: He Even Says "Hearts! Diamonds! I Can Do Anything!"
X: However Jevil isn't without his Weakness
Gold: Jevil Tires Out Easily and is Weak to Hypnosis
X: However Jevil is still a Very Powerful Foe
"Hearts! Diamonds! I Can Do Anything!"
Alright[]
The Combatants are Set! IT'S TIME...
FOR A DEEAAAAAAAAAATH BAAAAAAAAAAATTTTLLLLEEEEE!!!
Pre Fight[]
(Cue The Circus)
Bart approaches a door
Bart: I'm here
Jevil: Excellent Excellent! You have the Key?
Bart: Yup
Bart Uses the Key and a smaller Door appears
Bart enters the door
Bart: So I'm here what's the game?
Jevil: Visitor Visitor! the Game?
Bart: Yeah what is it?
Jevil: Just a simple Numbers game
Bart: Boring!
Jevil sends a Devilsknife at Bart who dodges the falling weapon
Bart: Ay Caramba!
Jevil: Your HP's gone You lose!
Bart: Get Bent!
FIGHT![]
(Cue The World Revolving)
Bart Fires a Bone at Jevil From his Slingshot
Jevil: OP!
Jevil Teleported away from it and Sent diamonds at Bart
Bart: OW!
Bart Retaliates with A Cherry Bomb
Jevil: AH!
Bart Throws a Small White Dog at Jevil
Jevil looks confused
Dog: Bark! Bark!
Jevil: Lets Play the Carrousel!
Jevil Sends a bunch of Ducks At Bart
Bart: Get Bent!
Bart Uses his Grenade Launcher to Destroy the Ducks and the Door by mistake
Jevil: Well No need to be there anymore more!
Bart and Jevil leave Jevil's Freedom and enter Springfield
Jevil: Chaos Chaos!
Bart is knocked into Springfield Elementary By a Stray Devilsknife
Bart: Get...
Bart Sends a Cherry Bomb at Jevil
Bart: BENT!
After the Smoke Fizzles out Jevil is seen Harmed but still Jumping Around.
(Cue Bart Goes Downtown)
Bart pulls out a Shotgun
Jevil: A new Toy Toy?
Bart Shoots Jevil in the face
Jevil: AH!
Jevil: OP! OP! OP! OP! OP!
Jevil is Teleporting everywhere
Bart: GET BACK HERE!
Bart: I'll-I'll
Jevil: Hmm?
Bart: ... You were supposed to be scared.
Jevil: Oh like a movie movie!
Bart Shoots Jevil again
Jevil:Vee Hee Hee!
Bart: Go Down already! or atleast Slow Down!
Jevil: This Body Can't Be Killed! So why Stop the Fun Fun?
Bart: Okay...
Bart Knocks Jevil into a locker and locks it
Jevil: Don't Stop the Games Games!
Bart Knocks Jevil into the Squidport with a cherry bomb
Bart: Good thing I got so many from that sale!
Jevil is now Swimming in the Water
Bart: he FLOATS?!
Jevil is now Riding a shark
Jevil: Vee Hee Hee! I've never had so much Fun Fun Before!
Bart: He's Having FUN?!
Jevil Teleports infront of Bart only to be met by another Shotgun Blast
Jevil: Lets Make the Devilsknife!
Bart: AH HA! YOU'VE FALLEN INTO MY TRAP!
Bart turns into...
Jevil: ooh. aah.
BARTMAN!!!
Bartman Takes to the skys and Shoots... Sky rocks at Jevil
Jevil Uses a heart and knocks Bartman Back into Bart
Bart: I uh Have another Form!
Bart turns into
Jevil: ooh. aah. wow.
BARTZILLA!!!!!!
Bartzilla Fires a laser at The Tiny looking Jester
Jevil: The Games are really Beginning Now Now!
Bartzilla Grabs Jevil and
...
CRUNCH!!!
Bartzilla Bites Jevil's Head off...
Or So he thought Jevil's Head went Back Down From being on a Ring... Circle... thing.
Jevil: Ew Ew! Have a Heart!
Jevil Sends Hearts at Bartzilla
Bartzilla: GRAAAAGH!!!
Jevil: Having Fun? Join the Club!
And with another Pun Jevil Sends Clubs at Bartzilla
Bartzilla: GR'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG'
Jevil: Your Not Looking so Spade.
Jevil sends Spades at Bartzilla now
Bartzilla uses his Laser Eyes to Destroy the Spades
Rouxls Kaard Walks up
Rouxls Kaard: Whateth Is Going Oneth Overst Here?! HOLY MONSTERTH HE IS LOOSETH I REPEAT HE IS LOOSETH!
Jevil: Good To See You Again My Friend! I'm kinda busy Right Now. So Kindly "Leaveth".
Kaard: WHAT IS THATETH?!
Jevil Goes Back to Fight Bartzilla now impaled by Hearts and Clubs
Bart: I-I Can't keep this up anymore...
Bart Turns Back To Normal
Bart Sends Cherry Bombs at Jevil Hitting Kaard By Mistake.
Kaard: OWETH.
Jevil Sucker Punches Bart Knocking Him Out
KO![]
(Cue Dogsong)
Homer and the King Walk up
Homer: BART!
Homer: ALRIGHT KINGY. WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOY?!
Jevil is Dumbfounded.
King: I did Jack all!
Homer Puts Bart Down
Homer: Start Running.
The King Realizes That Fighting is a bad idea and runs
Homer: RRAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHH!!!!!!
Kaard starts Running to help his King
Bart Wakes up
Bart: Hey Jester Dude Wanna go Make some Chaos?
Jevil: Sure Sure! Lets Play Play!
Bart and Jevil walk off to cause more Michief While Homer is still Chasing The King and Kaard
Conclusion[]
(Cue Star)
Gold: Woah! We Nailed Our First Fight!
Copper: So Why Did Jevil Win?
Gold: Simple. Jevil Has Better AP Thanks to Hurting the lightners
Durability thanks to Surviving Axe Cuts with No Signs of Pain
and Speed Thanks to Scaling to Susie who Outran Sound
With all That Bart Just Couldn't Keep Up.
X: Looks Like Bart didn't See the Punchline Until it Finally hit him.
X: The Winner is Jevil
