| Bane vs. Mr. Hyde | |
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| Season 7, Episode 3 | |
| Air date | March 16, 2022 |
| Written by | I'm Lynda |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous The Iron Giant vs. Liberty Prime |
Next The Crow vs. Pumpkinhead |
Bane vs. Mr. Hyde is a What-If? Death Battle by I'm Lynda. It features Bane from DC Comics, and Mister Hyde from Marvel Comics.
Description[]
Two villains who used drugs to become supervillains, and now they are coming together for a Death Battle!
Interlude[]
Wiz: In 1935, the Dupont chemical company adopted the slogan, "Better Things for Better Living...Through Chemistry."
Boomstick: Well, not only Dupont decided to live by those words, but at least two villains decided to also make things better for themselves through chemistry.
Wiz: So, we decided to bring these two together, and let them show us once and for all, who got it right.
Boomstick: The first is Bane, the never-to-be-forgotten nemesis of the Batman.
Wiz: And the second is Mr. Hyde, the opponent, at one time or another, of all the Avengers.
Boomstick: I'm Boomstick, and he's Wiz.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Bane[]
Boomstick: Bane’s real name is unknown, but he was apparently the son of a British mercenary named, Edmund Dorrance. While working in the South American nation of Santa Prisca, Dorrance had a fling with a local revolutionary, and when their camp was overrun by government forces, he successfully escaped, leaving his lover for dead. But, this woman was not dead, and the Santa Priscan government sentenced her and her unborn child to serve out Dorrance’s life sentence.
Wiz: Bane grew up in the hellish prison of Peña Duro, where his superior intelligence, natural physical abilities, and extraordinary skills allowed hum to rise to be the leader of the prisoners. He committed his first murder there at the age of only eight, and he received a classical education from an imprisoned Jesuit priest, whom he later killed.
Boomstick: The prison authorities decided to get rid of Bane by using him as a human guinea pig for a drug called “Venom,” which had killed all previous test subjects. Well, the drug came close to killing him, but as Grandma Boomstick always says, “That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!”
Wiz: That was the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche who said that.
Boomstick: Yeah, he ripped off Grandma Boomstick, that lawsuit is still working its way through the courts. Anyway, for about twelve hours, the drug vastly increases Bane’s speed, durability and strength, mostly strength. It must be injected right into Bane’s brain, which is why you see to tubes for it leading into the man’s neck, rather than into his arm...or glutes.
Wiz: But, Venom does come with a cost. Bane is addicted to the drug, and if he goes more than twelve hours without a hit, he doesn’t just return to his normal strength, he actually become weaker than normal, and he gets hit with horrendous withdrawal symptoms, including terrible hallucinations. On the other hand, overdosing on the drug will prove fatal for Bane.
Boomstick: Even when not at the height of his Venom high, Bane is super-strong, being able to lift and press some 1,500 pounds, or 680 kilograms, and he succeeded in breaking the bones of the super-villain Killer Crock.
Wiz: But, it is when he is riding high on Venom, his strength become utterly fantastic. He has been able to lift 3 to four US tons, or roughly two and a half to over three and a half metric tons, and he can exceed that, though the strain seems to result in a temporary lose his sanity. At one time, he actually succeeded in lifting a 27 US ton armored truck.
Boomstick: As an added bonus, he has been able to use Venom as a sort of medicine, using it to cure himself of infection, poisoning, and even traumatic injuries.
Wiz: But, Bane is more than just a, “roided-out jock.” Bane has got a genius-level intellect, which Venom does nothing to interfere with. He has used that intellect to make himself a highly-dangerous strategist and tactician. This has allowed him to go head-to-head with Batman, and all too often overcome him.
Boomstick: And, he is a master martial artist, allowing him to battle multiple, powerful opponents, as well as fight such skilled fighters as Batman.
Wiz: Bane is a formidable opponent. He’s not brawn-over-brains, but instead has copious amounts of each. Don’t underestimate him, those who did didn’t even live to regret it!
Mr. Hyde[]
Boomstick: ♪ You’re a mean one, Mr. Hyde! ♪ And, he is in fact, one mean mother!
Wiz: Calvin Zabo was born in Trenton, New Jersey. He was a brilliant chemist who was fascinated by the effects of chemicals on the human body. He was fascinated by Robert Louis Stevenson's 1886 novella, Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, and he dedicated his life to making Stevenson’s dream a reality.
Boomstick: Eventually, Zabo...you know, that’s kind of a cool name! Zabo! Zabo! Zabo!...Anyway, he succeeded in creating a formula that did indeed turn him into a sort of bargain-basement Incredible Hulk, who he named, Mr. Hyde, after the character in the book.
Wiz: Having the strength to crush cars like aluminum cans, and crumple up steel door like they were cardboard, he decided that he would eliminate one of the superheroes who would eventually stand in his way, the hammer-wielding Thor!
Boomstick: Well, that didn’t work out so well, but he kept up his life of crime, and has over the years fought Thor, Spider-man, Black Cat, Hercules, Captain America, and he has even gone toe-to-toe with the Mighty Hulk himself!
Wiz: Over the years, Zabo has succeeded in increasing the potency of his formula, increasing his strength, stamina and durability to frightening levels.
Boomstick: The first thing you notice about this big guy is his appearance. The formula distorts his skin, making him look very strange. It has even given him some weird hairdos, though that might have just been during the 1970s, when lots of people had really weird hairdos.
Wiz: The next thing that you are like to notice is his superhuman strength. During the first formulas of his Jekyll-and-Hyde serum, he was said to be as strong as twelve men, but by the 2000s, he was achieving results that allowed him to lift 70 US tons, or 63-and-a-half metric tons.
Boomstick: Hyde also has a formidable durability, taking the kind of damage that his heroic opponents can dish out. I mean, taking a whack from Thor’s hammer...mule...ee...ear...
Wiz: Mjölnir
Boomstick: Whatever. He has taken hits from Thor’s hammer, Captain America’s shield, and even punches from the Hulk.
Wiz: But, though Hyde can take a lot of abuse, he is not all-powerful. He has been knocked unconscious by the likes of Thor and Captain America, and in one particular confrontation with the Hulk, the two combatants locked hands and the Hulk ended up breaking Hyde’s arms.
Boomstick: Another bit of a weakness for Mr, Hyde is that, though he is brilliant in the form of Calvin Zabo, when he is under the influence of his formula, he becomes a rather dumb brute. This has resulted in him finding himself in some situations that were not the best for him...such as getting his arms broken by the Hulk!
Wiz: Another bit of a weakness is that his chemical formula only affects him for so long, though how long it lasts is not known at this time. So, to turn into Mr. Hyde and to stay in that form, Calvin Zabo has created a device that injects the formula right into his bloodstream. If he were to run out of the formula, he would revert to his normal shape.
Boomstick: Mr. Hyde is not a martial artist, he relies instead on brute strength, which he has by the ton. He has overcome superheroes, including once when he pounded Captain American into unconscious, so who needs brains?
Wiz: Mr. Hyde is a formidable opponent. He definitely IS brawn-over-brains, but he has so much brawn that anyone who underestimates him is likely to regret it!
Intermission[]
Boomstick: OK now, the combatants are set, so it’s time to end this debate with some good old fashioned violence!
Wiz: It is in fact time for a Death Battle!
DEATH BATTLE![]
Pre-Fight []
Calvin Zabo sat at the bar, nursing his cocktail. It was called a “Corpse Reviver No 2,” but it was doing little to revive his spirits.
Suddenly, a tray-carrying waitress bumped into the man, spilling the remains of several half-finished drinks into his lap.
“You stupid @##$%!” he yelled at her. Then, for good measure, he pushed her with all his might, sending her crashing to the floor.
As Zabo stood wiping his pants with a stack of napkins that he had grabbed off of the bar, a blonde-bearded biker stepped up to him. He grabbed the scientist by the lapels, and sneered into his face.
“So, you like picking on people smaller than you, eh, little man?” he asked. Then, he slammed his fist into Zabo’s stomach. The man would have collapsed had not the biker held him upright.
Over in a corner of the room, Bane sat plotting with three motorcycle gang leaders. He looked up at the commotion, and nodded at the punishment delivered to a small man.
Then, the biker spun Zabo around, grabbed the back of his collar, and the seat of his pants. He charged towards a nearby window, and bodily hurled the smaller man through it.
Zabo disappeared from sight.
The biker’s friends laughed, and slapped the man on the back. They all turned towards the bar, and ordered more beer.
Calvin Zabo rolled painfully to the side. He was angry now...really angry.
Well, wasn’t it Aristotle who said that the great Greek virtue was letting no slight go unpunished? Yes, he was up for that.
He reached down, and pressed the button, firing his special formula into his veins. His mind and body burned, as the formula spread throughout his entire frame. He could feel his limbs getting stronger, and his chest getting larger.
He stood up. It was payback time!
The bikers gathered along the bar, drinking their beer and having a great time.
Suddenly, there was an explosion, as a dumpster flew in through the already broken window, and crashed into the bar, scattering bikers like leaves before an autumn wind.
A huge, mountain of a man, clad in ripped and shredded clothing, stepped in through the hole in the wall.
“All right, boys, the party can start now, Mr. Hyde is here!” he shouted.
The bikers all stared at the man with mouths agape. Hyde grabbed the biker who had thrown him out before, and threw him out through the hole in the wall. He flew across the street, and smashed through a window in the building that was opposite the bar. Then, all pandemonium broke loose.
Bikers hurled themselves at the supervillain, throwing punches and bottles and chairs. Hyde spun about, his massive fist cutting a swath through his opponents.
In his corner, Bane sat watching the melee, his keen mind weighing the huge man’s strengths and weaknesses.
Bikers were going down left and right, and more were running for the exits.
Bane decided that now was the time for him to get involved. He pressed the button, flooding his bloodstream with Venom.
FIGHT! []
Mr. Hyde laid about him, his mighty fists sending men flying. He laughed out loud at the pure joy of the fight.
He punched a particularly large biker, his body continuing to turn with blow. Suddenly, he found himself face-to-face with a man in a mask.
Bane grabbed Mr. Hyde and dropped into a roll. He kicked out, sending the other man flying across the room. He smashed into a pinball machine, reducing it to wreckage.
“Ha ha!” Mr. Hyde guffawed as he stood up. “This is going to be fun!”
He bunched up his fists and advanced on the smaller man. Bane stood his ground.
Hyde aimed a roundhouse punch at his opponent, who ducked under the blow, and then shoved his arm, sending him staggering to the side. Hyde continued the turn, lashing out with his other hand in a backhanded punch.
Bane grabbed the moving arm, and locked his own powerful arms on it.
“Ha ha!” Mr. Hyde laughed again. Then, he braced his legs, and lifted his arm, pulling Bane up off of the floor. He turned and threw a punch at the wall, punching a hole through the wall and smashing Bane into it.
Before Bane could recover from the blow, Hyde picked him up by his neck and held him in the air. He pulled back his other arm, and delivered a titanic punch that sent Bane flying through the wall, and into the street beyond.
Bane rolled up the street, finally coming to a stop on his stomach. He lifted himself up on his hands and shook his head to clear it. Then, he stood up, and began dusting bits of broken wall off of his arms and chest.
“Ha ha ha!” Mr. Hyde laughed as he leaped out of the hole in the wall, and came thundering up the street towards his opponent.
Bane was ready when Hyde threw the next punch. He ducked under the swinging arm, and then hooked his arm into it. He pivoted and snapped his leg out, kicking Hyde’s feet out from under him.
The giant man went down with a crash, but before Bane could shift his grip, Hyde wrenched his arm forward, sending Bane flying up the street.
Bane turned the throw into a roll, quickly leaping back onto his feet.
Hyde charged up the street. “I like it when the bugs put up a fight before I squash them!” he called, brandishing a huge fist.
Bane met the charging behemoth. He grabbed him, and dropped into a flip, throwing his opponent onto his back.
Instantly, Bane was on top of him, showering his face and head with titanic punches.
Hyde’s head rocked back and forth with the blows, when suddenly he raised his hand, and caught a flying fist in the air. Bane punched out with his other fist, but Hyde caught that one in his other hands.
Hyde stretched out his arms, pulling Bane’s face up to his.
“You know,” he said through clenched teeth, “that kind of hurt.”
Then, he reared back, and delivered a crushing headbutt to the other man. Bane staggered backward, and then his legs buckled, dropping him to his knees.
Mr. Hyde grabbed him by the front of his shirt, and lifted him into the air. He balled up his right fist, and pulled it back.
“You put up a nice fight, and all that,” Hyde chortled in his face. “But, now it’s sleepy time, Princess. Nighty-night!”
Then, he delivered a tremendous punch that sent the man flying up the street, and into a city park.
Hyde looked around, and announced, “Oh! All the other kids have gone home, and I’ve got nobody left to play with. Oh well, I guess I’ll go home now too.”
Bane levered himself off of the ground, and shook his head to clear it, again. He looked around, and saw that he was lying not far from a Civil War monument, consisting of a canon and a pyramid of cannonballs, all surrounded by a heavy chain, suspended from posts.
Looked up the street to where Hyde was slowing walking away, he kicked down a post, and reached in and wrenched a cannonball off of the pile.
He pulled the ball back, and did his best shot put throw. The cannonball arched through the air, and air, and impacted on Hyde’s head.
“Ow!” Hyde yelled, and spun around. “Who threw that?!”
Then, he saw Bane picking up another cannonball.
“Not had enough, eh?” he demanded. Then, he started walking towards Bane.
Bane reared back, and threw another ball. It bounced off of Hyde’s forehead with a dull thump.
“Ow!” he yelled. “That’s it, no more Mr. Nice-Hyde!” Then he started running forward.
Bane threw another cannonball, and Hyde swatted it out of the air.
Bane waited until the other man was almost on top of him, and then sidestepped, and kicked out, sending him almost flying into the cannon.
“Ow!” Hyde yelled when his head impacted on the heavy iron of the cannon.
Instantly, Bane snatched up the chain, and leaped onto Hyde’s back. He wrapped the chain about his neck, and pulled it tight.
Hyde’s hand’s grabbed at the chain, but it was too heavy for him to break.
He started bucking, trying to throw the smaller man off of his back, but Bane wrapped his legs around his chest to increase his hold.
Hyde threw himself backward, smashing Bane into the bronze statue of Union soldier, smashing it off of its pedestal, but still Bane held on.
Hyde thrashed and bucked, his movements becoming slower and slower.
Finally, he collapsed onto the ground, and went still.
Bane held onto the chain until he was sure that Hyde was done moving.
K.O.! []
Bane stood up, and walked over to the fallen, bronze statue. He grunted as he picked it up, and then he lifted it over his head.
He brought the statue smashing down onto Hyde’s head.
Then, looking at his opponent once more, he lifted the statue again, and brought it smashing back down onto the other man’s head...three more times!
Results[]
Boomstick: Ha ha ha! Another one gone and another one gone, another one bites the dust! Wiz, I think that we’re going to have to explain that one.
Wiz: On paper, this looked like a fair fight. Both combatants had worked up secret formulas that enhanced their fighting abilities, and both were formidable fighter in their own universes.
Boomstick: Calvin Zabo’s formula was the more straightforward, giving him super strength, but at the cost of weakening the muscle between his ears.
Wiz: Bane’s drug-of-choice gave him super-strength, but a good deal less than Hyde enjoyed. However, Bane’s Venom did not interfere with his genius-level intelligence. He often used his intelligence at least as much as his strength, defeating opponents that strength alone would never have conquered.
Boomstick: Hyde, on the other hand, relied totally on his fists, and that often got him into trouble. Sure, he went toe-to-toe with the likes of the Incredible Hulk and Thor, but most of the time he merely got a beatdown for his trouble. Sure, he once pummeled Captain America into unconsciousness, but only after he had been lucky enough to have gotten the drop on him. And, after he came to, he quickly outthought the big guy, and turned the tables on him.
Wiz: The bottom line is that Bane is a formidable villain, who often out-thought and out-fought the heroes, while Mr. Hyde is a secondary villain who very often just serves as a punching bag for the heroes.
Boomstick: So the winner is the man in the goofy mask, Bane!
