| Baldi VS Ming Boy | |
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| Season 02, Episode 01 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | January 7, 2021 |
| Written by | Mariogoods |
| Directed by | Mariogoods |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| McGruff the Crime Dog VS Police Chief Black Cat | Li Li Shi VS Regime Superman |
Baldi VS Ming Boy is a What-If? episode of Death Battle, featuring Baldi from Baldi's Basics series and Ming Boy from Dong Dong Never Die.
Description[]
The first special Death Battle episode! The strange teacher from Baldi's Basics series and the strange student from Dong Dong Never Die comes to Death Battle and who will win?
Interlude[]
Sun Wukong: Happy new year! I am Sun Wukong, the Great Sage Equaling Heaven.
Son Goku: And I am Son Goku... Why I have to host the Death Battle with Sun Wukong?
Sun Wukong: It is the special episode for celebrating the new year. You know, it's not new for me. Since it is the special episode, I'll be out of my character and forgive some impostors.
Son Goku: It sounds strange... Anyway, I can't wait starting the commentary of this episode!
Sun Wukong: The relationship between teacher and student is different in different culture. It reminds me something...
Son Goku: It reminds me something too... Anyway, we will introduce an unusual teacher and an unusual student.
Sun Wukong: The unusual teacher is Baldi.
Son Goku: And the unusual student is Ming Boy.
Sun Wukong: And I and... another host will analyze their weapons, armor, and skill, to find out who would win in a death battle.
Baldi[]
Son Goku: I have seen many, many people with different outlook, but this one is too strange for me to understand.
Sun Wukong: Right. It's because this guy is created for parodying the educational video games in the 1990s.
Son Goku: And this guy's name is Baldi. How simple.
Sun Wukong: Baldi is the math teacher and the only seen teacher in the Schoolhouse. The Schoolhouse is often known as "Here School" among fans.
Son Goku: When the protagonist, possibly a primary school student, enters the school, Baldi happily greets the protagonist, asks them to collect notebooks and answer math questions in the collected notebooks.
Sun Wukong: Looks like he is the average math teacher in the educational video games, right? No, everything changes when the protagonist answers a single math question incorrect.
Son Goku: The more incorrect answers you answer, the angrier Baldi gets. The angrier Baldi gets, the more aggressive Baldi has. Looks familiar.
Sun Wukong: Actually, the protagonist cannot avoid answering a single math question incorrect since there is always at least one question which is too strange to have an answer. Looks like that the bald just wants to find a reason to punish the student, nothing new for the age I lived in.
Son Goku: The bald guy has pushed his anger too far. When he is in anger, he will chase the protagonist and possibly kill them if he successfully contact with the protagonist in one hit.
Sun Wukong: Since calculation is one of the methods to determine how strong a character is, which is definitely not a methods at the time Journey to the West was out, I will bring some calculation for Baldi's potential.
Son Goku: But we don't have Baldi's any direct feats about his attack potential!
Sun Wukong: Yes. However, we have Gotta Sweep and we can calculate its feats since both Baldi and the protagonist can take hits from Gotta Sweep without visible damage while Baldi can one-shot the protagonist. I think another host must be familiar with such calculation method.
Son Goku: Wait? I don't know such calculation method at all!
Sun Wukong: According to this calculation, Gotta Sweep can yield 51054.673 joules by rushing to the protagonist or Baldi. I just accessed to the information of the current versus battle guidelines so I can make and analysis calculations.
Son Goku: Although I don't know much about calculations, but I feel that he cannot compare to my strength.
Sun Wukong: Baldi is not strong enough to be a threat for me. Talking about Baldi's speed, Baldi can increase his speed when his anger increases. At his peak, he can move fast enough to cover a room. His peak speed has been calculated as 14.1704 m/s. Well... I can only say it is not bad for a normal human, despite he is nothing normal.
Son Goku: ......Not a worthy opponent.
Sun Wukong: Baldi can hear the sound of the protagonist opening a door. While he can likely distinguish the sound of opening doors by different people, Baldi can be deterred away by noise such as the noise created by Baldi's Least Favorite Tape. Poor naming skills...
Son Goku: There are several presumed abilities for him, such as creating illusion of the exits, phrasing through solid objects such as desks and doors, altering the color of the Schoolhouse.
Sun Wukong: However, those abilities are largely ill-defined and some of them can be regarded as game mechanics. Anyway, Baldi is the person who will definitely give the protagonist a bad time.
(The protagonist gets their first problem wrong in the You Can Think Pad and Baldi's facial expression becomes distorted)
Ming Boy[]
Sun Wukong: Dong Dong Never Die, a fighting game heavily inspired by games such as Street Fighter and The King of Fighters.
Son Goku: Here's the list of references in Dong Dong Never Die. Kung Fu Hustle, The Terminator, Journey to the West...
Sun Wukong: Well... there is a reference of Journey to the West since Sun Wukong is here. Actually, alternative Sun Wukongs AKA me are nothing new and the another host is one of the notable example.
Son Goku: Well...
Sun Wukong: Since it is the introduction of another combatant, Ming Boy, I'll stop the Sun Wukongs topic. Ming Boy is a primary school student, despite he is in his 20s. I don't think the term "primary school" exists at the time I lived in.
Son Goku: And he participated in the human level fighting competition just to prove that he is the strongest primary school student in the world. Wait, does it mean that I can be the strongest student in the Universe 7?
Sun Wukong: Anyway, Ming Boy's attempt to prove himself is discouraged by the canon information. Ming Boy has the lowest stats in Dong Dong Never Die. In Dong Dong Never Die, his power, speed, health and spirit are all one-star while other characters are at least having one of the stats two-star or higher.
Son Goku: Well... another unworthy opponent.
Sun Wukong: Despite he is the weakest playable character in Dong Dong Never Die, he can still manage to win the competition in the player-involved scenario. It means that Ming Boy can scale to some other characters as an evidence of his maximum potential.
Son Goku: One of his feats is that he can react to the machine gun attacks by Sheng Hua Nan, the main antagonist in Dong Dong Never Die. Well, is the masked man their main antagonist? Reacting to machine gun attacks is our basic ability.
Sun Wukong: Different verse, different power system. Like other Dong Dong Never Die characters, Ming Boy can break half of a car in less than fifty seconds in the car-breaking bonus game. He and other characters can keep fighting while standing at the top of a flying plane without any issue. Later, he, Dong Dong fight against Shen Hua Nan at the top of the blasted off Shenzhou 7 without issue.
Son Goku: Still not impressive, but he is stronger than I excepted. I want to know his skills.
Sun Wukong: His skills are largely not meant to fight seriously. For example, he constantly uses his rolled book to attack your rear and he even calls out the attack.
Son Goku: Dirty move. I start to feel that he's not a serious warrior at all.
Sun Wukong: The prank is nothing new for me. Also, he can throw paper plane as projectile, calling "Da Fei Ji". You can understand it as literally "striking the plane" or metaphorically "jerking off". I never do anything sexually because of my immorality.
Son Goku: Why I suddenly feel that you are as unserious as him?
Sun Wukong: Nevermind. When he wins, he can rotating his hands and therefore flying as a result, though he never uses such ability in combat.
Son Goku: Wait, I found a weakness of him: if he does not throw his paper plane, his hand-to-hand combat has a shorter range than other Dong Dong Never Die characters.
Sun Wukong: Oh, I accidentally forgot this. Maybe that's because my weapon does not have range problem...
Son Goku: While I do not agree with his dirty move, he is at least not bad in combat.
Sun Wukong: Lastly, he can heal himself by simply taking out the book Hundred Thousand Whys and the screen displaying questions. The healing process can be interrupted by hitting him and he cannot use it without limit times. He's not bad in combat.
(Ming Boy poses his victory pose, rotates his hands and flys)
Pre-Fight[]
Sun Wukong: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate.
Son Goku: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!
Death Battle[]
Animated Sprite
In the dawn, Ming Boy is sitting in a classroom resembling the Schoolhouse, pretending to listen to the math class because he thinks that he has already known the same knowledge due to his asking for staying in the third grade of elementary school. He feels bored and hungry, hoping the math teacher could finish today's lesson and release him along with other students without delaying. He then chooses to lie on the table. Then the math teacher is revealed to be Baldi and there are only Baldi and Ming Boy in the classroom. There are only a faint light in the classroom despite it is already in the dawn. Baldi says:
Baldi: Now it's time for everybody's favorite subject: Math!
Baldi stops his speaking, suddenly notices Ming Boy who is lying on the table, walks to his table and puts a You Can Think Pad on Ming Boy's table, says:
Baldi: Just type the correct answer into the empty box. Press the ENTER key on the pad when you think you have the right answer.
Ming Boy is waken up from the half-slept state and notices the pad. Ming Boy then takes the pad and looks at it. The screen of the pad displays the math questions. Ming Boy says to himself:
Ming Boy: So easy.
Ming Boy quickly answers two questions and the pad determined his answers as correct. However, the third question contains a clumped amount of numbers which completely confused Ming Boy. Finding that the question is too strange to be answered, Ming Boy decides to enter a random number, hoping that the answer is correct. The the pad determined his answer as incorrect. Ming Boy raises his hand and suddenly notices Baldi's existence. Baldi's facial expression has turned distorted as he does in Baldi's Basic series. Baldi then takes his ruler, approaching to Ming Boy aggressively while constantly hitting the ruler on his hand. Feeling the threat, Ming Boy slowly retreats and then quickly runs in a comedy manner. Baldi follows the direction Ming Boy escaped while attempt to detect sound caused by Ming Boy.
At the same time, Ming Boy attempts to find a way out. However, Ming Boy isn't familiar with the structure of the Schoolhouse. To add more injury, the night is coming and the electric power system in the Schoolhouse becomes unstable, resulting in the instability of light equipment. Finding that he has no weapons but his bare hands and hearing Baldi's ruler smashing sound, Ming Boy decides to explore the Schoolhouse for weapons while attempting to avoid Baldi. Ming Boy, while carefully hiding his sound, finds another classroom and opens the door. Despite Ming Boy attempts to open the door without noticeable sound, Baldi, searching for Ming Boy, hears the sound, identify Ming Boy's current place and approaches said place.
At the same time, Ming Boy, not knowing that Baldi has tracked his place, is trying to find something useful for him. Ming Boy looks around and finds a notebook and a bag of chocolate in the teacher's table. Ming Boy quickly walks to the teacher's table, quickly grabs the chocolate and quickly opens the notebook. Ming Boy then starts to tear off paper in the notebook and fold the paper into paper plane. After Ming Boy makes several paper planes and turns back, he suddenly finds that Baldi is just standing in the only door and only Baldi's shadow can be seen due to the unstable light. Baldi declares:
Baldi: I hear every door you open.
Now confronting the approaching Baldi, Ming Boy throws his paper planes to distract Baldi. Baldi is not harmed by the paper planes and the attacks make him more angry and therefore faster. Ming Boy starts to think about escaping from Baldi. As Ming Boy is thinking, Baldi gets close to Ming Boy and is close enough to swing his ruler to land a hit. Ming Boy, noticing the attack, quickly rolls and therefore makes Baldi's first attack attempt failed.
Now, Ming Boy is in the place closer to the door while Baldi is in the place further to the door instead. Noticing that Ming Boy dodges his attack, Baldi gets angrier and approaches to Ming Boy in a higher speed. Ming Boy quickly grabs a nearby book before escaping from Baldi and finding a way out. Baldi, now in a high speed, runs after the running Ming Boy and neither of them have speed advantage. After some time, an exit appears and Ming Boy runs to the direction where the exit is. However, when Ming Boy touches the exit door and attempts to push the door, the exit suddenly disappears, which surprising Ming Boy. Baldi takes advantage of Ming Boy's brief distraction and attempts to hit Ming Boy again but is dodged by Ming Boy.
Seeing his attacks is failed twice, Baldi becomes more angry and attempts to quickly runs into Ming Boy with his ruler. Ming Boy, seeing Baldi is coming, prepares for a punch attack by swing his hands while says:
Ming Boy: Your dead man on school! I'll let you know who I AM!
Baldi's attack and Ming Boy's attack briefly clashes shortly before Baldi's ruler being broken by Ming Boy's full strength punch. Ming Boy then proceeds to punch Baldi in his full strength, killing Baldi by bisecting Baldi clean in half and sending the remains of Baldi to the wall, destroying the wall in the process.
Ming Boy, looking at the moon outside of the Schoolhouse, shows relief and says:
Ming Boy: I am, the strongest primary school student in the world.
Then Ming Boy walks out of the Schoolhouse from the hole created by his punch and the scene only shows his back.
KO!
Results[]
(We cut to Sun Wukong and Son Goku)
Son Goku: While Ming Boy is clearly not the strongest primary school student in all fiction, he is definitely the winner of this death battle.
Sun Wukong: Looks like Baldi loses again... Wait, it is only his first appearance in this author's death battle. Actually, the result is clear out.
Son Goku: When it comes to strength, Baldi's strength is actually outclassed by Ming Boy's strength.
Sun Wukong: Right. Baldi is able to withstand attack which yields 51054.673 joules and can instantly gives the protagonist of Baldi's Basic series a game over with his ruler. However, the car-breaking feat, shared by all Dong Dong Never Die characters even the weakest character, is higher than Baldi could do. The car-breaking feat is calculated as yielding at least 447321.2543 joules per second, which is about eight times stronger and tougher than Baldi withstood. Don't forget that this calculation assumes that characters in Dong Dong Never Die took fifty seconds to complete such feat and they are actually taken less than fifty seconds to do that.
Son Goku: And Ming Boy, despite being the weakest character in Dong Dong Never Die, has the potential to keep up with other characters with higher strength and speed.
Sun Wukong: When it comes to their speed, while Baldi has the speed of 14.1704 m/s in his peak, Ming Boy has the potential of reacting projectiles faster than this speed, such as Shen Hua Nan's machine gun, which is definitely faster than Baldi's maximum speed. Despite Ming Boy's movement speed may not be as fast as bullets from the machine gun, he still has the skills such as rolling to make sure he has more flexibility both in offense and defense than Baldi.
Popup: Ming Boy, like other Dong Dong Never Die characters, can react to A Shuang's attack. A Shuang has attack which may be defined as having lightning speed: the attack has visual effect similar to lightning, A Shuang saying "lightning" when performing the attack and the attack covers in a line instantly unlike other projectiles such as bullets. However, they may not be enough to prove that A Shuang's said attack's speed could be equalized to the real lightning.
Son Goku: When they are in long distance, Ming Boy can perform his... paper plane throwing attack while Baldi has no long-distance attack. When they are in short distance, the advantages mentioned above will make Baldi extremely hard to land a fatal blow.
Sun Wukong: In term of intelligence, despite Baldi being a math teacher, there is no evidence which can prove that he has combat experience or fighting against someone who has combat experience. However, Ming Boy clearly has potential of fighting against who has enough combat experience. Other characters' backstory can clearly prove that.
Popup: Baldi has some additional but ill-defined abilities such as illusion. Even if assuming that these abilities are well-defined, Ming Boy, like other Dong Dong Never Die characters, has the potential to break illusion by their strength. Despite the two illusions follow different principle, at least it can prove that Baldi's tricky illusion, including turning the scene into red, will be likely ignored by Dong Dong Never Die characters like Ming Boy. Also, these abilities are not definitive enough to change the verdict.
Son Goku: Looks like Baldi will definitely lose to Ming Boy.
Sun Wukong: The winner is Ming Boy.