| Axe Cop vs Segata Sanshiro | |
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[[File: | |
| Season 3, Episode 12 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | September 5th, 2015 |
| Written by | Ahomeschoolingroudon |
| Directed by | Ahomeschoolingroudon |
Episode guide
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Axe Cop vs Segata Sanshiro is a What-If? Episode of Death Battle!
Description[]
It's a legendary duel between two saviors, two really really overpowered saviors. Who will win, and what destruction awaits?
Interlude[]
Wiz: As humans, we always have limits as to what our physical prowess can do. And sometimes we wonder if we can bypass those limits, or any limits for that matter
Boomstick: Well these two saviors got that in spades! Axe Cop, the hilariously overpowered justice enforcer
Wiz: And Segata Sanshiro, defender and savior of the Sega Saturn
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!
Axe Cop[]
Wiz: Cops, they may get the job done in the real world. But, in the realm of fiction. Not so much
Boomstick: That is, until Axe Cop came about
Wiz: Born with a, mustache. Which is scientifically impossible but whatever. He was born to a normal family with his brother Flute Cop
Boomstick: They had a relatively normal life. But because this is comics, tragedy struck. Really, really fucking bizarre tragedy. As his parents died by eating too many candy canes
Wiz: The candy canes however, were poisoned by Telescope Gun Cop. Who traveled back in time to take revenge on Axe Cop by killing his parents in the past and changing his life forever
Boomstick: O-kay! So Axe and Flute Cop swore revenge on him, aaand. They bonked their heads together and forgot about it all. And you thought Goku’s sudden head bump was off
Wiz: Axe Cop then went to fighting school. Yes, fighting school and became a well-trained fighter before joining the Police Force
Boomstick: That was when Axe Cop then found the Perfect Axe, because coincidences. And as such the man named Axe Cop became..Axe Cop.
Wiz: Axe Cop then turned to a life, where he’d live by chopping off bad guys’ heads off. Any and all, even rabbits that stand on their hind legs and eat coconuts apply. That, can’t be legal
Boomstick: Nothing’s illegal when you’re Axe Cop. Anyway, Axe Cop’s primary weapon is the Perfect Axe. A completely indestructible axe that can cut through almost anything.
Wiz: It can shoot diamonds, spew fire from the top, blunt end can be used to smash through things and deflect magic projectiles. And Axe Cop has a button that creates an additional 1,000 axe blades, and can be used as a skateboard because reasons
Boomstick: And Axe Cop is incredibly adept with it, but if it isn’t enough Axe Cop can create a copy of the Perfect Axe and fuse them together to create the Super Golden Axe. A stronger version of the Perfect Axe, which does. Cut through anything
Wiz: But believe me, that’s not Axe Cop’s only weapons. He has the Tiger Belt, a sentient melee weapon similar to nunchukus
Boomstick: But unlike dumbass Michelangelo he can make use of it, when a belt similarly wielded is better than the real thing. You just know you need to get a better weapon
Wiz: He also has a helmet that can control the weather at his will, unlimited lemon grenades, poisoned soda which he gives to bad guys and they drink it. And a robot in his mustache that has a gun that shoots sticky dynamite and a golden axe
Boomstick: You can’t make this shit up, he also has instead of hair on his arms he has Tiny Swords. And a Green Banana Gun that kills Bad Guy Ninjas, a sniping shotgun that becomes a flame sword, an axe that can turn to any gun. And I mean, any gun. Now that’s a true weapon
Wiz: And, so many others that we can’t even list them all. But don’t just think that weapons is his only method of overpoweredness oh no. His ancester Book Cop possessed a Secret Attack Almanac, which gives the reader supernatural abilities. Needless to say Axe Cop read it as it was passed down from generation to generation
Boomstick: But more importantly, it granted Axe Cop immense strength. Giving him the ability to break unbreakable chains, lift continents with 2 fingers, throw a book so hard it cuts clean through someone’s head and gains 5,000 more lives. And that’s only scratching the surface
Wiz: He can run faster than the naked eye can see, always right, resistance to magic and reality warping. And immune to flames, cause once he comes into contact he becomes Axe Cop Fire. Where he can breath and manipulate flames at his will
Boomstick: Which brings us to his absolutely absurd abilities. Such as the Power of Christmas, where he recovers from any fatal wound and allows him to fly fast enough to bend the fabric of reality. I swear Axe Cop is the modern Pre-Crisis Superman
Wiz: And when he eats Mayonnaise he gains the Poison Spit which can kill someone instantly, he also has the Forbidden Move. Which creates a hurricane so insanely powerful it lifts up an entire landmass
Boomstick: He can also pretty much summon black holes, and send foes to the, Land of Dying. Yes, The Land of Dying that’s its real 100% name. Because holy shit is Axe Cop the most absurd thing in the history of, ever
Wiz: He also has a kick that removes the soul of the target, which is essentially Akuma’s raging demon times 1,000. Hell, Axe Cop is so overpowered he can fight as a ghost or just force himself back to his own body as one
Boomstick: You think we’re done yet, spoke too soon because now we’re getting to his pets. Starting with a fucking T-Rex with minigun arms!
Wiz: Wexter, is Axe Cop’s pet dinosaur. Which can fly at FTL Speeds, breath fire and eat badguys. Mainly murderers, because murderers are his favorite snack. Seriously
Boomstick: And he has Ralph Wrinkles, the badass version of Jake the Dog and Scooby-Doo. As he’s a talking dog that possesses karate powers, healing lasers from his eyes and killing lasers from his mouth
Wiz: Believe me when I say that Axe Cop is one of the most overpowered characters in fiction, he survived the Queen of England’s magic scepter, created his own planet just to build a theme park on it-
Boomstick: I shall take over this, he saved God and Jesus from Bad Santa, tank the reciol of punches from a gorilla who launches himself to distant planets by punching, generated an explosion so large it blew off a chunk of the Earth, killed every single Alien in the universe, decimated CHUCK NORRIS in a fight, and blew up a planet with a single stick of dynamite!
Wiz: Being that the planet in question had the same Gravitation Binding of Earth this should be impossible. Which means Axe Cop managed to do it, simply because he wanted to.
Boomstick: And let’s not forget that Axe Cop picked up and threw the sun on three separate occasions. One of which he tossed to spin around the Earth, with no negative consequences. Implying that, again Axe Cop could do that just because he wanted to
Wiz: Hell, even saying “Old!” or his rock band causes people to die.
Boomstick: Then his band must give One Direction a run for it’s money
Wiz: However, Axe Cop does have a few weaknesses. For one, Axe Cop’s kryptonite is Rainbow Cherry Candy Canes, which can put him down and bypass his 5,000 other lives
Boomstick: And he’s a bit overconfident. But that’s to be expected right?
Wiz: He had a weakness that he’d melt if he became surprised, but this is seemingly no longer a problem.
Boomstick: Yep, now this is normally where I’d tell you to stay the hell away from him. But that’s not needed, why? Because he’s fucking Axe Cop!
Axe Cop: I will chop your head off!
Segata Sanshiro[]
Wiz: SEGA’s been having it rough for a while
Boomstick: No shit Wiz, you ever heard of Sonic Boom?
Wiz: But, it’s only a matter of time before the savior steps in, Segata Sanshiro
Boomstick: Years ago, SEGA’s latest console the Sega Saturn proved to be nowhere near as successful as their rival, the Nintendo 64.
Wiz: Then the Karate Master, Segata traveled around Japan and. Get this, beat the shit out of who wasn’t playing a saturn.
Boomstick: Dayum, these OP Warriors really don’t give a shit about laws.
Wiz: But, despite it being illegal. It did end up working, and that could be partially due to Segata’s techniques and abilities.
Boomstick: He has Superhuman Strength, able to punch falling cars and space shuttles into the air.
Wiz: And Superhuman Speed, able to outmatch a Olympic speed skater, barefoot.
Boomstick: And Superhuman Durability, with the ability not to flinch when baseballs hit his chest at 90 Miles Per Hour
Wiz: And he can duplicate and increase his size a seemingly infinite amount of times. Also, he seems to be dating Sakura
Boomstick: Sakura Haruno?
Wiz: No, Sakura from Sakura Wars. Which means he’s dating a Video Game character
Boomstick: Welp, he’s not only a defender of the Sega Saturn. He’s also a defender of his waifu
Wiz: But, his most powerful attack is the famous Judo Throw. Which makes the target get sent flying, and explode upon impact with the ground. Twice
Boomstick: Being Segata, he has pretty impressive feats. He’s kicked a baseball for a home run, took out a club full of people in 3 moves, thrown a player at the ball to score the winning goal in the World Cup
Wiz: And, most impressively he leaped onto a missile heading for Sega HQ and stopped it against a glass window, then flipped it around and rode it into space. Which, like we’ve said before is physically impossible
Boomstick: But, it’s Segata. Who needs physics?
Wiz: Yeah, including talking and breathing in space. Until the missile blew up in his face, and killed him..or at least it presumably did
Boomstick: Again, we’ve covered this. Segata is alive
Wiz: But, while Segata may be a force to be reckoned with. He really isn’t against the undead, as the Judo Throw failed to work. Once it did he was overwhelmed
Boomstick: Also, while Segata did help the Sega Saturn. He couldn’t save it
Wiz: And, when entering a Martial Arts tournament on Mobius, he lost to Sonic the Hedgehog. But even so, it was Archie Sonic. Which is pretty strong in his own right
Boomstick: But, with Segata shadowed in anonymity. We may never know his true potential.
Wiz: But if you see his true potential, just plug in the Sega Saturn if you want to live
Sega Sanshiro: Sega satan shiro!
Death Battle![]
Tokyo, Japan
Day-Time
It was a busy day, as today was Christmas and as such the stores in Tokyo were very crowded, especially in the games section. More specifically the two consoles isles, the Nintendo 64 and Sega Saturn isles.
But there was a huge problem, that would prove to be their greatest error. The Nintendo 64 isle had a bunch of crowded people, meanwhile the Sega Saturn isle was completely isolated with nobody putting the Sega Saturn in their carts
And as such, this called for the karate master. Loud stepping sounds were heard near the store in a running motion, the people in the Nintendo 64 isle had no idea what was going on. That is, until somebody broke in through the back door
It was, none other than the legendary karate master, Segata Sanshiro with his theme ablaze as he ran up to the people in the Nintendo 64 isle. “Sega satan shiro!” Segata Sanshiro exclaimed
Before he began to beat the ever loving hell out of the people in the Nintendo 64 isle. The witnesses began freaking out and ran into the Sega Saturn Isle, the police arrived. But they quickly had their jaws dropped
They screamed at the top of their lungs “Segata sanshiro!!” before fleeing, it was a successful day for Segata. As he knew no cop could keep him from his mission, that is except for one who was gonna fight him..
Police Station
Day-Time
The previously displayed events in Tokyo were being broadcasted on the Television, before the TV was shut off. “Looks like we have a mission on our hands” said a voice, as came in Flute Cop and the outrageously overpowered Axe Cop.
“So, we need to get to Tokyo and..?” Flute Cop said, as Axe Cop pulled out his Perfect Axe. “None other than chop his head off” Axe Cop responded as he cracked his knuckles eager to fight this guy
“Look, Axe Cop I know you’re strong and all but this is not gonna be easy” Flute Cop told him, and began talking about Segata. To which Axe Cop just groaned “I’m Axe Cop, and this should be no problem” Axe Cop said overconfidently, then he teleported him, Flute Cop and a Cop Car to Tokyo, Japan.
Tokyo, Japan
Day-Time
Both Axe Cop and Flute Car were in the Cop Car previously shown, driving through the crowded streets with the siren on as well as Axe Cop’s theme ablaze on the radio. “So, where would this Segata be located?” Axe Cop asked.
“We don’t know” Flute Cop responded “He’s incredibly ambiguous, aside from what I’ve told you we don’t know anything about him” Axe Cop then began thinking, and decided to nab the Bomb that Only Kills Bad-Guys
Flute Cop remained behind the wheel, and began driving towards SEGA HQ. To which they were unprepared for what was about to happen and who was about to ambush them.
Segata Sanshiro came out of the shadows of the SEGA HQ and straight up leaped right off the roof, and landed right in front of Flute Cop’s Car while he was driving, then held the Cop Car to a stop
“Sega satan shiro!” Segata commanded, pulling out a Sega Saturn. Axe Cop then got out of the Cop Car to which Segata tossed the Sega Saturn at Axe Cop, ordering him to play it but instead Axe Cop swung the Perfect Axe and sliced it in two
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgs7iVS8ai8)
Segata just looked down at the two halves of the Sega Saturn, before looking back up with a furious look. Segata then shrieked, to which Flute Cop flinched. “Good luck Axe Cop, I need to go take care of Unibaby” he said before flooring it
Now, it was only Axe Cop and Segata Sanshiro as well as a handful of spectators. They didn’t know who this “Axe Cop” was but was judging him for making such a decision. What if he turned to mincemeat? What if he collapsed early on?
Axe Cop then readied the Perfect Axe, as Segata readied his own fists. “I will make your fingers break.” Segata stated, as Axe Cop took a breath before responding with “I will chop your head off!”
The ground began to shake, already hinting at what was gonna be. The first of many apocalypses to come.
FIGHT!
Segata Sanshiro kicked off the fight, ironically enough with a kick to Axe Cop’s groin. To which Axe Cop barely even flinched let alone not showing any sign of pain, and as such Axe Cop backhand sweeped Segata into a building.
Segata let out a “Blargh!” before getting launched into the building, but emerged from the rubble just fine and began tossing the rubble at Axe Cop. Axe Cop then got his Blunt End of the Perfect Axe.
Segata quickly realized that Axe Cop was just smashing the rubble he tossed at him one by one. So, as such Segata tossed the last piece of rubble at Axe Cop’s leg. To which Axe Cop just flattened it by stepping on it
“You must be a special type of bad guy” Axe Cop muttered to himself, as he jumped back. “I’m no badguy, I am a savior.” Segata responded to which Axe Cop just shook his head in disgust to that comment
“Then in that case, you must be the savior of the Bad Guy race!” Axe Cop stated, as he pushed the button of the Bomb that Only Kills Bad Guys..no effect. Segata was standing upright with no physical injuries
“What!? But I killed you bad guy, oh no matter it’s the fault of the bomb” Axe Cop said, as he tossed the Bomb that Only Kills Bad Guys into the nearby dumpster with a clang. “Well if the bomb won’t work, then I’ll fight you with my axe and chop your head off!” Axe Cop shouted
Axe Cop then began swinging, and with many close calls Segata just barely managed to avoid each one. With the last swing hitting a nearby building, which has it’s bottom get cut off.
The building then fell over near Axe Cop, and Segata used this as a perfect opportunity to get into the shadows. Axe Cop pushed the building out of the way and spotted Segata immediately
“You can’t hide from the justice enforcer” Axe Cop stated, as he rushed at Segata blindingly fast. Axe Cop was too fast for Segata’s eyes to even see him, before Axe Cop then socked him in the face.
Segata Sanshiro skidded back, before shaking off the punch and then grabbing Axe Cop by the back, “What are y-” Axe Cop tried to say, but was cut off by Segata performing the Judo Throw on him
Axe Cop was thrown from the shadows and towards the Tokyo Skytree, and instantly made contact with the Skytree, and exploded launching the top of the Skytree away
BOOM!!
But not even seconds after another explosion erupted which sent the bottom of the Tokyo Skytree careening downward
BOOM x2!!
Segata looked at the now completely obliterated Tokyo Skytree, and nodded. “This is why you must, Sega Satan Shiro.” Segata murmured to himself before beginning to walk away from the sight thinking it was over..
..it hadn’t even started. As Segata heard a noise from the obliterated Tokyo Skytree very much resembling a zoom from a small rocket. It was Axe Cop launching himself from the Tokyo Skytree and back to Segata
Segata was flabbergasted to say the least, he had no idea how one could survive his Earth Shattering Judo Throw. “Cheap trick, bad guy.” Axe Cop mused, before he rammed into Segata
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiJdQaAQ7ZA)
Segata Sanshiro was launched back up to a random house’s balcony, to which he rips it off the house and tosses the entire balcony at Axe Cop. Axe Cop just doesn’t even bother with the oncoming balcony and teleports out of the way.
Axe Cop then pushed Segata back “Time to do this the old fashioned way” Axe Cop muttered to himself, as he began shooting diamonds out of his axe at Segata. In response, Segata didn’t even attack back
He didn’t even move, and instead just casually took the diamonds. “What?” Axe Cop confusingly said, he brushed it off thinking the diamonds were just weak to him and got out his other axe, which can shapeshift into any gun.
Axe Cop shapeshifted the axe into an AK-47 and began to fire away, Axe Cop still thought Segata was just a normal human so he couldn’t take the bullets, right?
Needless to say Axe Cop was wrong on that, as Segata still didn’t even move as he tanked the bullets from the AK-47. Axe Cop’s jaw dropped, and adjusted his sunglasses to make sure he wasn’t seeing anything
“Sega satan shiro!” Segata Sanshiro shouted once again, as he leaped from the ground, and jumped onto Axe Cop’s face. Axe Cop then was thrown back but landed on his feet now angry
Axe Cop then menacingly pointed his finger at Segata’s face “You’re supposed to be dead by now, bad guy!” Axe Cop stated, to which Segata just slammed Axe Cop out of the city and into a mountain
Segata Sanshiro then began sprinting back towards the mountain, only to see that Axe Cop just straight up cut the mountain open. Axe Cop then ran at Segata, who threw his fist at him
Axe Cop blocked the punch thrown and clotheslined Segata in the face right afterwards, and due to the tiny swords on Axe Cop’s arms it made for double the impact and brutality, police brutality if you will.
Segata Sanshiro winced, and began stepping back as now he was temporarily blinded. “Let’s see you try to hit me again!” Axe Cop taunted, as he headbutted Segata Sanshiro deeper into the plains
Segata Sanshiro let out an “Oughph!!!” before landing in a random part of the plains, his blindness now healed and he could fully see again. And could see just enough to see that Axe Cop was chasing him.
Axe Cop then put the Perfect Axe away for now, and got out the Sniping Shotgun. Axe Cop then began to open fire, to which Segata like before wasn’t phased by the bullets and just kept on tanking them
“No matter” Axe Cop said, as he began to shift the Sniping Shotgun into something different, a Flame Sword. Axe Cop then drew the Flame Sword and began to swing at Segata
Segata Sanshiro managed to avoid the Flame Sword swings and then socked Axe Cop in the face, then punched the Flame Sword out of Axe Cop’s hands. To which Segata took by the tip for himself
Axe Cop then rose with shock, and quickly got out the Tiger Belt and began swinging it around Segata. Which one of the swings managed to gash a claw mark on Segata’s left cheek, but Segata quickly retaliated
Segata Sanshiro dove the Flame Sword at Axe Cop’s Tiger Belt, which ended up leaping from Axe Cop’s hands before Segata Sanshiro punted it and sent it flying beyond the horizon.
Axe Cop then just glared at Segata, before cutting the Flame Sword in two with a swing from the Perfect Axe and a “Ha!!” from Axe Cop. Segata Sanshiro then jumped back, before saying his catchphrase yet again. “Sega satan shiro!”
Axe Cop was now just getting annoyed with him saying the catchphrase over and over “Will you just shut your mouth?” Axe Cop groaningly asked, before he whacked Segata in the chest with his arm
Axe Cop then punched Segata Sanshiro in the face again, before kicking him upwards and jumping after him. Segata whacked Axe Cop with a Karate Chop, but Axe Cop was about to finish him..
..until he accidentally had a stick of dynamite nearby already lit, inches away from both him and Segata Sanshiro. The fuse burned out and made it to the stick of dynamite, and blew up in both his and Segata’s faces
BANG!!
Both Axe Cop and Segata Sanshiro were launched ways away, while the entire continent and the continents nearby were caught in the explosion and were atomized entirely
USA (The other side of the planet)
Day-Time
Both Axe Cop and Segata Sanshiro were launched all the way from Japan all the way to the United States of America on opposite sides of each other. They eventually crashed into each other mid-flight, and they both turned around
Both Axe Cop and Segata Sanshiro threw a punch at each other, both being countered by the other. Then they began throwing flurries of punches at each other, one by the other.
That is until Axe Cop then kneed Segata Sanshiro in the gut and sent him down to the ground by the face with an “Ugh!” from Segata, then ran backwards slightly away from Segata.
Segata was noticeably exhausted, he was fearing that he may have hit is breaking point and he needed to do something fast. And he did just that, as a 2nd Segata popped into existence next to him
A bunch of other Segata Sanshiros then began appearing out of nowhere, which puzzled Axe Cop. He knew he wasn’t seeing things, what was this? It was, Segata’s duplication. And the real Segata took a step back
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmGFCWuLgTs)
One of the duplicated Segata’s came from Axe Cop’s right and punted him into a nearby building. Which the building in question fell over upon contact, Axe Cop then picked up the building
Axe Cop then began wielding the building, home-running one of the insane amount of duplicated Segata Sanshiros with it. Two more Segatas latched onto the building and tossed it aside
Another duplicated Segata Sanshiro jumped behind Axe Cop and punched him forward, to which another duplicated Segata grabbed Axe Cop and suplexed him to the ground, then the duplicated Segata jumped backwards
Another duplicated Segata slowly approached Axe Cop, charging up a powerful punch. Axe Cop quickly realized this and held his Perfect Axe back before saying “I will chop your heads off!”
Axe Cop then swung his Perfect Axe at the Duplicated Segata Sanshiro’s neck, decapitating him. Axe Cop say another duplicated Segata nearby and grabbed the beheaded Segata’s head
Axe Cop then tossed the decapitated head at the Segata so forcefully that it caused the duplicated Segata’s head to burst on impact, along with the beheaded one. Axe Cop now back on his feet continued against the other duplicated Segata Sanshiros
Axe Cop then noticed one of the Segata clones was sneaking his way from the shadows of a nearby building, and as such he pulled out his trusty weapon for ninjas. The Green Banana Gun.
Axe Cop then began to open fire at the Segata, who was hit just enough to be thrown back off of the building, to which Axe Cop jumped at him and blitzed him. Axe Cop then landed back on the ground without a scratch
Axe Cop then ran up to two of the still many Segata clones, who were thinking about what to do. Axe Cop then tossed them upwards yet slightly forward which made them soar through the skies.
Axe Cop then pulled out the Blade Gun, which essentially worked as a mid-air skateboard launcher. He fired a crescent-like blade, and began riding on it to chase the two Segata’s aboard the blade
The two duplicate Segata Sanshiro’s tried to think of what to do again, as Axe Cop cut two building rooftops off and tossed them at the two Segatas. The two Segata’s then punched the rooftops back at Axe Cop.
Axe Cop however wasn’t phased as he just simply nabbed the two rooftops and approached the two Segatas before flattening them with the rooftops.
“This is easy!” Axe Cop mused, as he jumped off the blade and back onto the city grounds glaring at the remaining Segata Sanshiros. One of the Segatas began lifting a building
To which Axe Cop was alarmed by and pulled out the Green Banana Gun and began opening fire, the Segata began losing his balance. To which Axe Cop leaped onto the building and sent it crashing on top of the Segata.
Axe Cop then backflipped away from the building, as it created an explosion near powerful enough to level the entire city
BAM!!
Most of the Segatas were blown back by the explosion, sent ways away from the explosion. And they all crash landed onto the ground, to which they saw Axe Cop chasing them.
They then began to flee, knowing about what was going to happen if he caught them. Axe Cop continued to chase, until the Robot Mustache supplied Axe Cop with a gun that shoots sticky dynamite
Axe Cop then began to open fire, and attached sticky dynamite onto each Segata fleeing. Few seconds later, a huge amount of explosions erupted
BANG!!!!
Axe Cop then saw that only 1 Segata duplicate remained, which sped at Axe Cop trying to take him out. To which having enough Axe Cop pulled out Mayonnaise and consumed it, before firing the Poison Spit
The last duplicated Segata was hit by the Poison Spit and began bending down before falling down to the ground dead on the spot. To which Axe Cop held his axe up triumphant
But he soon realized that they all were just clones, and began puzzling. “Now, where is the real one..” Axe Cop thought outloud, to which he heard rumbling from the last building in the city.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh3VJ1E36W4)
The building erupted into nothing but rubble being launched away from, the now enlarged Segata from the building. He was hiding this entire time, waiting to fully replenish his stamina
Axe Cop aimed his Blade Gun, but the Enlarged Segata snatched Axe Cop before he could open fire and begins slamming him into the ground, ultimately yet accidentally taking him underground
Underground Death Battle Boxing Ring
Segata Sanshiro crashed into the Underground Death Battle Boxing Ring unintentionally flattening the ring, Segata held Axe Cop against the ropes, but Axe Cop kicked Segata off of him.
Outside of Balrog’s bottom-half the ring was completely abandoned due to the commotion they caused earlier, as such they recklessly began duking it out hand to hand.
That is until Axe Cop kicked Segata in the head, and uppercutted him out from the underground, Axe Cop then jumped after him
Back in the USA
“You’re just a larger version of yourself, nothing I can’t handle!” Axe Cop yelled, to which Segata roared in retaliation. And as such the two got into yet another fist fight. But Axe Cop still proved to be the victor
Axe Cop then jumped out of North America, because what he had in store was very destructive alright. He unleashed the Forbidden Move, which ended up creating a hurricane so powerful it sucked up the continent
Segata Sanshiro was also sucked in, along with the continent. And Axe Cop being kept out from the carnage put on the helmet that allowed him to control the weather, and created a tornado where the carnage was
Both Segata Sanshiro and the entirety of North America was sucked into this tornado, and once Segata and the continent made contact, the continent shattered into individual pieces
CRACK!!
All of the individual pieces began ramming into Segata Sanshiro as he began roaring again, before falling down into the ocean. Axe Cop just remained on the small island he was on, now erupted with flames
“Good thing I don’t have to worry about the fire” Axe Cop thought to himself, “All it does is make me turn into AXE COP FIRE!” Segata Sanshiro perked up and jumped onto the island next to Axe Cop’s
He quickly realized that Axe Cop was performing the move, not just any typical move thus far. The Chuck Norris Obliterating Move itself, Segata quickly jumped out of the way when Axe Cop tried to breath fire at him
Axe Cop was surrounded in flames, as he continued to try and breath flames at Segata. But Segata just continued to dodge them each time, and as such Axe Cop gave up with the Axe Cop Fire
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBaKRz5n92I)
Instead, Axe Cop decided to take things up a notch. Truly up a notch with what he had in mind, as he pulled out the Book. The book passed down by Book Cop himself, as he was gonna use one of options given to him.
Axe Cop then began to summon a gigantic fireball from space, and it began rapidly zooming towards Earth. As such Axe Cop jumped into space and called for Wexter, which zoomed in and Axe Cop rode on his back
Segata Sanshiro rose from the watery depths he was stuck in and let out another roar before leaping into space after Axe Cop and using the Moon as a mode of transportation itself
View of the Earth
A giant shadow began forming in what was left of Earth, as a giant fireball began shooting down like an asteroid. It was moving downwards towards the Earth extremely quickly.
Eventually the giant fireball made contact with the mostly oceanic Earth, but there wasn’t much to engulf. But it did engulf the remaining landmass before combusting the Earth itself with a
BOOM!!!
Axe Cop road away riding on Wexter, alongside his other called in pet Ralph Wrinkles. “Now we can beat him!” Axe Cop said, before using the Power of Christmas to heal all of his wounds.
Meanwhile Segata Sanshiro road away from the View of the now combusted Earth riding on the Moon itself, while still keeping his enlarged self
Outer Space
Wexter was flying through space at Faster Than Light speeds, with a now fully-healed Axe Cop and Ralph Wrinkles aboard, meanwhile Segata Sanshiro was still riding the Earth
Wexter began flying towards the moon Segata Sanshiro was riding on, and began unleashing bites. Trying to eat Segata, meanwhile Axe Cop made a copy of his Perfect Axe and fused them together..
..and the Super Golden Axe was unleashed, meanwhile Segata Sanshiro was doing his best to avoid Wexter. And was doing it decently well, Wexter unleashed a fire breath to which Segata punched the moon making it travel faster.
Wexter began shooting bullets from it’s minigun arms as it traveled through space chasing Segata, as they began nearing the largest planet in the Solar System, Jupiter as Wexter kept firing.
Segata knew that this could be used as an advantage, as he got to the other side of the Moon, and punched it which began sending the moon Segata was piloting rapidly towards Wexter.
Segata Sanshiro leaped forward, avoiding Wexter’s attempted chomp by just a few inches. Segata Sanshiro leaped on the back of Wexter and grabbed Axe Cop’s neck, before leaping off of Wexter
Wexter was about to bite him, but quickly had his jaw drop once he saw Segata punch Axe Cop right into Jupiter, before unleashing the Judo Throw on his very mode of transportation, The Moon
Segata Sanshiro managed to aim the Judo Throw at Jupiter, and due to physics defiance pulled it off and The Moon careened straight into Jupiter, and with a dual explosion Jupiter combusted with a
BAM!!!
“WHAT, NOOOOOOO!!” Axe Cop shouted, before he was cut off by the explosion wearing out. “Oh god..” Ralph Wrinkles muttered, as both he and Wexter were in shock. And they saw Axe Cop’s body fly from the explosion with burn marks
Segata Sanshiro then scaled down back to his normal size and turned to face the camera. “Sega satan shiro!” Segata said to the camera, but then. Axe Cop’s ghost emerged into the fight
“That all you got!” Axe Cop said, as he rushed at Segata, Segata was too flabbergasted to even think at the heat of the moment and used the Judo Throw. But due to him being a ghost, it didn’t have an effect
Axe Cop then began to punch Segata Sanshiro in the face over and over and over again, before performing a Diving Fist Drop at Segata’s head. Segata then began falling downward through the depths of space.
Axe Cop then performed a Flying Spinning Heel Kick and launched Segata against Jupiter’s moon Io, Segata used that as his new mode of transportation as Axe Cop forced his way back into his body
A halo and glowing light formed around Axe Cop for a few seconds before it dissipated and he wielded his Super Golden Axe, which had managed to not break through all of this.
Axe Cop then got back onto Wexter, while Ralph Wrinkles shot the healing lasers from his eyes at Axe Cop. Axe Cop’s burn marks were now gone, as Ralph’s healing lasers managed to make them go away.
Meanwhile Wexter was managing to keep up with Segata Sanshiro, who was making his way towards the sun. Axe Cop then took a breath, and told Ralph Wrinkles that he’ll be right back.
He leaped off of Wexter, and towards Segata Sanshiro who which stopped Io and leaped off of it. Axe Cop and Segata Sanshiro both locked on each other and Axe Cop straight up picked up the sun
Axe Cop then tossed the sun at Segata Sanshiro, who in which used up most of his stamina to strugglingly toss the sun back at Axe Cop with the Judo Throw, Axe Cop then charged up the Super Golden Axe, and swung.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IunstAdGBP4)
SHINK!!
Axe Cop’s Super Golden Axe cut the sun itself in two, to which Segata Sanshiro’s eyes widened at the sight, it’s as if Axe Cop could do anything he wanted with no cost whatsoever.
Axe Cop then adjusted his sunglasses yet again, and took a breath before continuing on with the fight. As the now two halves of the sun couldn’t support itself, and erupting into a supernova
BOOM!!!!
Wexter then zoomed towards Axe Cop before he was engulfed by the supernova and joined Ralph Wrinkles on Wexter’s back. Wexter then zoomed off at FTL speeds, meanwhile Segata was struggling to outrace the supernova.
Segata punched Io and it began speeding up, but it wasn’t to any good as the supernova began closing in fast, Segata had to do something risky in order to get out of this.
He puzzled on whether or not he should try this risky tactic, but he quickly obliged with it after seeing that Wexter was shooting at him with it’s 2 arm miniguns. And as such Segata leaped onto Io before leaping forward off of it
Io was engulfed in the supernova, and the supernova grazed Segata Sanshiro’s back. But by sheer dumb luck, the supernova stopped once it engulfed Mars. And Segata survived.
But Segata quickly noticed, that there was a Sega Saturn floating off in space near Axe Cop. The last remaining Sega Saturn ever to exist, and Axe Cop charged Wexter towards Segata..
..and destroyed the Sega Saturn accidentally in the process, to which Segata Sanshiro’s eyes began flaming up. He was in his biggest rage he’s ever been known to have. And he was absolutely bloodthirsty now, as Axe Cop swung his Super Golden Axe
Segata Sanshiro ducked, and instead the fabric of reality around Segata Sanshiro got sliced, to which Segata Sanshiro retaliated by clapping his hands on Axe Cop’s head, which Axe Cop let out a measly “Ow!” in response
“Well, because you clearly refuse to go down. I shall have to take you to the Land of Dying!” Axe Cop yelled, as he created a Black Hole near Segata Sanshiro that led to the Land of Dying.
Segata was ready to get revenge as soon as possible. There was no way he was going down before his revenge came against Axe Cop for destroying the very thing he was sworn to protect. What if Axe Cop got away with it?
Segata Sanshiro wound up a punch, which was powerful enough to recreate the Black Hole which instead of making it go to the Land of Dying it sent both him and Axe Cop into a wormhole, that sent them to the Beginning of Time
(End-Music)
Beginning of Time
It was just one giant stretch of nothingness, with some energy floating about. Segata Sanshiro landed into this giant stretch of land. Segata Sanshiro thought that maybe Axe Cop was sent to the Land of Dying.
To which he just stood up in victory, before collapsing back down and silently mourning the Sega Saturn. And perhaps SEGA in general, but then a footstep was heard from the shadows
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PwusNcQgMw)
It was none other from Axe Cop, who also was sent to the Beginning of Time. “Uh uh, all out of mercy now” Axe Cop said, as he drew back Super Golden Axe and pointed his finger at Segata’s face. “Come and get some”
Segata Sanshiro ran at Axe Cop, but it proved to be no use as Axe Cop uppercutted him ways away. Segata Sanshiro then leaped up and sprinted back at Axe Cop, Axe Cop then jumped at Segata attempting the Soul Kick
Segata Sanshiro ducked, and grabbed Axe Cop by the other leg before swinging him around. But Axe Cop knew better, and decided that now this time he was gonna finish this off.
Axe Cop slashed Segata Sanshiro’s gut open, Segata Sanshiro an “ARGH!!” before dropping Axe Cop and writhing to the ground. And as such Axe Cop used this as an advantage to access what would grant Segata’s weakness
Death Battle Analysis Room
Boomstick: Uh, Wiz? I think Axe Cop is gonna try to get the info from our analysis on Segata to get his weakness
Wiz: ..is that even allowed?
Boomstick: I doubt it, but what do we do about it?
Wiz: I..don’t know.
Dark Pit: The hell is going on?
Boomstick: Oh..nothing..
Dark Pit: This doesn’t seem like nothing, you trying to kill me or something?
Wiz: Well, there’s this Axe Cop who we-
But just then, Dark Pit suddenly began glitching out and with a glitchy yell disappeared from the analysis bar. And Axe Cop popped up for a few seconds, now knowing his weakness before disappearing from the analysis
Boomstick: ..WELL THEN.
Wiz: I guess there isn’t much we can do about it now
Back in the Beginning of Time
Axe Cop then reappeared in the Beginning of Time, now with knowledge of Segata Sanshiro and his weaknesses. It seemed clear that he had this. “It’s time to end this now” Axe Cop stated
“And by ending it, I mean ending it!” He yelled, as he jumped back and at the edge of the Beginning of Time’s barrier. And then he pulled out a Magic Fruit, and ate it. Then wished, for a wish that would prove to be a nightmare for Segata.
“I wish for a 100-Man Army of Undead warriors that’ll obey my every command!” Axe Cop commanded, Segata quickly rose up and got his fists up. The undead army then popped in around Axe Cop
“Attack him! Keep him alive for now!” Axe Cop commanded, to which the undead army moaned and obeyed. Now stumbling towards Segata Sanshiro, Segata quickly began fighting back to the best of his ability
But, due to the gaping hole in his chest and that the Judo Throw wouldn’t work he quickly became overwhelmed. The undead army clawed at Segata’s face, chest and legs. Leaving many gashed claw marks
Segata Sanshiro then limped back and to the ground, in which Axe Cop ordered the undead army to stand back. And so they did, as such Axe Cop began walking towards Segata Sanshiro.
Segata Sanshiro was not alright in any sense of the word, his clothes were ripped, blood was dripping and he had a broken bone. As such Axe Cop then stepped on Segata repeatedly
Segata Sanshiro let out pain noises before Axe Cop decided to stop stomping on him, and decided that he should now end this suffering of Segata’s. As he was an enforcer of justice, and didn’t want any brutality
“I have one request..” Segata Sanshiro strugglingly muttered under his breath, to which Axe Cop raised his eyebrow. “A..handshake..” Segata muttered “I feel no shame in losing..”
Axe Cop was surprised by this, a bad guy of his never asks for a handshake, or some form of bonding. But, Axe Cop obliged and held out his hand. Segata grabbed his hand, and they both shook
“Now, before I forget..” Axe Cop said, before he swung his Super Golden Axe at Segata’s neck “To CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!!” Axe Cop shouted, before he chopped the hero of SEGA’s head
Segata Sanshiro’s headless body then began to glow slightly, Axe Cop readjusted his glasses to which proved it wasn’t a hallucination. Instead, it was forming a rapid increase of energy
Then, the entirety of that energy bursted into a giant multiversal explosion. Axe Cop was engulfed in that very explosion, and it was however despite not looking it, giving life. As it began creating stars and galaxies, as well as creating the likes of atoms
Despite this being a very destructive explosion, it was not an explosion that was to wipe out the galaxy, universe no. Instead, it was an explosion that was to create life in general..
..it was the Big Bang
APOCALYPTIC DOUBLE K.O!
Now, there was a newly created omniverse. One that would show to be one that would bring upon great destruction and fighting, the omniverse was now known as Death Battle Fanon.
But, now there wasn’t any defined winner on the fight of the ages to be 100% confirmed..
..or was there? A collection of light began to form, not just any light however it was Holy Light. A burst of Holy Light appeared, and emerging from the light was none other than Axe Cop
“All in a days work.” Axe Cop said to himself, as he looked around and quickly realized that now he was in the start of Death Battle Fanon. But more than just that, he was a god of it. With only two people having control over him
As such he got an infinite number of candies in his candy bin, somehow able to store it all in their and got onto his now god-chair. And watched as the first fight was about to start up
APOCALYPTIC K.O!
(The following is a call-back to the first completed fight of the wiki, Scorpion vs. Ryu )
Axe Cop then flipped through reality, creating a screen where he could watch the fight play out. In which the Street Fighter Ryu , was standing in a blank field. That is until a challenger approached him
“Your soul will burn!” Scorpion said, Axe Cop knew that this was going to be a good fight to kick things off in the perspective of the Death Battle Fanon Omniverse as a whole.
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: I don’t know whether to be confused at the randomness at the fight or amazed by the destruction, I’m gonna go with the latter
Wiz: Segata Sanshiro may be a tough warrior, but in actuality Axe Cop was on a completely different level. Not only did Axe Cop surpass him in Strength and Speed, same went for durability
Boomstick: Segata’s best durability feat is the possibility that he survived a missile exploding in his face, which is badass. But nowhere near anything Axe Cop can do
Wiz: Also, not only would Segata have to kill Axe Cop. He’d have to kill him 5,001 times due to his lives
Boomstick: And, because of like we went through with the whole tampering thing. Axe Cop can tamper with scripts themselves, that combined with the Magic Fruit and numerous OHKO weapons, Segata Sanshiro never stood a chance. He just needed to get his head straight
Wiz: The winner is Axe Cop