It's Gondor against Sparta when two kings draw their swords. Both can inspire victory from the most dire circumstance, but only one will emerge victorious here.
Intro[]
N: The warrior king rules his kingdom by the sword and defends it's borders by the sword. Alexander the Great, William the Conqueror, and our combatants are some of the examples of the warrior king.
P: Plus they're freaking brilliant with the sword. They live by the sword and will (one has) and died by the sword.
G: Like Aragorn the hero of Gondor and the descendent of Isildur
N: And Leonidas King of the Spartans who led their last stand
P: I'm Feenie and these are my friends Nero and Gerona and together we analayze the fighters, weapons, skills, sources, and abilities to see who would win a Death Battle.
Leonidas[]
N: Greece was in great peril. Outside it's doors the Mighty Persian Empire has set it's greedy sights at conquering the mountainous country. What a small country to do? Oh yeah call the Spartans
P: The Spartans were the hardass warrior culture part of Ancient Greece. They would ditch babies to die or toss them off mountains if they did not fit the Spartan standards. If they did, the boys would be taken from home at age 7 to train brutally to become a Spartan Hoplite.
G: They would have to do tasks such as beat each other up, steal without being caught, and murder Helots (slaves) without being seen. Also survive in the elements. Once a boy does this he would become a Spartan, or die in the process. Someone needs to call CPS
N: Leonidas survived this and was the King of the Spartans. Leonidas met with the diplomat from Persia who tried to tell Leonidas not to resist. What did Leonidas do? Kicked him into a fucking abyss, like a badass.
P: Leonidas was not deterred, he even told a deformed guy to F off, so he snitched. But Leonidas gathered up his 300 men and set out to battle at the Thermopylae pass to make the last stand to defend Greece and their homeland. It was do or die and Leonidas chose to do.
G: It was an amazing battle and Leonidas and men slaughtered a shit ton of Persians as they came in like flies to dog poop. But in the end Leonidas faced defeat and was killed in battle alongside the rest of the Spartans
N: Leonidas has a few weapons. First is the Xiphos short sword a leaf shaped iron blade that was 12-20 inches which tapered towards the tip to give more oomph on a stab, it could also cut. Then there is the Dory spear which is an 8 foot long spear capable of skewering an opponent. And finally is his Aspis shield which he can whack people or use it to defend himself.
P: Leonidas was an impressive warrior: he kicked a guy so hard he fell into a deep hole, he survived Spartan childhood, killed a bunch of Persians despite his disadvantage, and took quite a few blows
G: But Leonidas is just a man and enough damage will kill him, he also seems to be arrogant, and lacks armor protecting his chest and guts leaving him vulnerable if his foe bypasses his shield
N: BUT THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
(Leonidas kicks guy in hole)
Aragorn[]
N: There once was a hobbit named Frodo. He was to go out on the road-o. He hit a road snare, entered a room with stomach bare. And I'm sorry for my bad poetry.
P: (under his breath) Better be....(Normal tone) Anyways Frodo Baggins and co are on a quest to destroy the One Ring. They were instructed to meet Gandalf in Bree, at the Inn of the Prancing Pony.
G: But Gandalf was not there, rather the hobbits were scoped out by the ranger and heir of Isildur Aragorn or Strider. Frodo was initially fearful of him, but grew to trust them. Aragorn outside Gandalf was the first member of the Fellowship of the Ring.
N: Joining the Fellowship was an elf archer named Legolas, a dwarf called Gimli, man's hero Boromir, and initially Gloin the Father of Gimli. They set out only to face setback.
P: The Fellowship lost Gandalf, Boromir tried to snatch the ring and sacrificed his life, and the Fellowship split up. Aragorn was left with Gimli and Legolas to hunt for the stolen hobbits and catch up.
G: Aragorn though had to assist with numerous battles and played the role as hero. At the end of the day Aragorn was crowned king, and married the love of his life. Aragorn was a hero and fought for the noble cause and got to live out his days with the pride of a job well done.
N: Aragorn has quite a few weapons. His sword Andruil the Flame of the West is a magic sword that enables him to cut, stab, and slash his opponent but if anyone outside Aragorn and heir touches the blade death comes to him. Aragorn also has a bigass curved Hunting knife to cut some fools and in the mines of Moria he wielded a big spear like pike weapon. Aragorn also has a longbow which enables him to shoot foes at a distance. Aragorn has plate armor called Royal Armor that allows for him to take blows from swords and spears.
P: Aragorn is an impressive fighter: he took blows from massive cave trolls, took a fall from a cliff, kills numerous orcs and monsters, punches through their armor, held back Ring Wraths, ignored the ring, kills monsters several times his size and strength, split a metal helmet, threw Gimli, moves faster than one can react, dodge arrows, sent crashing through trees, and defeat monsters.
G: But Aragorn is not super human and can be killed with enough damage, is reliant on numbers, and requires weapons to be effective.
N: But Aragorn is the rightful king of man and will always save the day for hobbits.
(Aragorn slices through orks)
Death Battle![]
Leonidas is on a mountain and kicks a hobbit into a boulder. The hobbit falls and groans weakly. He is about to stand to flee or fight back when he hears a noise in the distance. Suddenly a man crashes into the ground. It's none other then Aragorn or Strider the ranger of the Forest.
"Alright that's enough barbarian," Aragorn said drawing his bow, "I won't allow you to harm any more hobbits."
"Your men are WEAK," Leonidas roars, "Your country is full of weaklings and DISHONOR! This is SPARTA!!"
With that Leonidas charges Aragorn, as the ranger nocks an arrow to his longbow.
FIGHT!
Aragorn fires an arrow, as to which Leonidas blocks with his Aspis shield. Another arrow fired also hits the shield. Leonidas closes the distance and thrusts the Dory spear, as to which Aragorn dodges and leaps behind Leonidas and fires an arrow. This one strikes him in the thigh. Leonidas roared in pain and tore the arrow out. He thrusts the Dory into the Earth and pulls the arrow to his knee snapping it in half like a twig.
"Is that all you got puny man," Leonidas roared before pulling the Dory out and pounding the shield, "I'll kill you."
Aragorn tosses the bow away and pulls his own spear out and tries to stab Leonidas. The Spartan king deflects the pike like spear and steps closer to Aragorn to make his thrust. It hits Aragorn and knocks him down. His armor luckily protected the King of Man. Leonidas slams his spear at the downed King who rolls away. Leonidas' spear gets stuck in the ground, allowing for Aragorn to make a leg sweep knocking Leonidas down. Aragorn gets up and draws Anduril his sword. Leonidas snarls as he stands up and makes a powerful thrust with his spear. Aragorn makes a swing cutting the spear in half. Leonidas yells in fustration and smacks Aragorn with the remnants of his spear before tossing it away and drawing his Xiphos.
"For a man who boasts on warrior strength, you sure are pathetic," Aragorn said.
Leonidas roared and swung his Xiphos sword. Aragorn deflects and with his freehand draws his Hunting Knife. Aragorn swings the knife at Leonidas, to which the Spartan blocks with his shield. The Spartan King swings his sword cutting Aragorn's arm a little and then makes another slash. Aragorn kicks Leonidas' shield and leaps back before charging with a powerful swing. Leonidas barely blocks but his shield is cut in half. Aragorn grabs the Aspis with his knife hand and pulls kicking the Spartan in the gut as he makes the yank. Leonidas falls dropping the shield. Aragorn grabs the shield and throws it off the mountain. Leonidas gets back up panting taking deep breaths.
"Alright time for you to die," Leonidas said, "You will dine in HELL!"
Leonidas makes a bunch of wild swings at Aragorn who deflects them all and side steps them all. Aragorn makes a powerful swing as to which Leonidas barely deflects. As Leonidas deflects, Aragorn slices his chest with his hunting knife. Leoidas stepped back crying out in pain. Aragorn sheathes his knife, and uses two hands to hold his sword. He makes another powerful swing. Leonidas reaches out to deflect, but Aragorn slices off his hands. Leonidas screams in pain as blood squirts out of his arm like a stepped on Ketchup packet. The Spartan collapses to his knees in pain. Aragorn chuckles and grabs onto Leonidas' long hair and pulls it up. Leonidas gasps in pain.
"Have fun dining in hell," Aragorn said swinging his sword slicing through Leonidas' neck decapitating the Spartan. The Spartan King's body falls dead. Aragorn lifts the head up and roars in victory, hell take the head to his cabin. He kicks the Spartan's body off the mountain like the babies his society kills.
Results[]
N: So well how did that happen?
P: Well while Leonidas may have brute strength, he also had less weapons and no projectiles what so ever. Aragorn and his bow and longer reaching sword gave him a significant advantage over Leonidas.
G: It also helps that Aragorn is not fighting nearly naked and is covered with metal plate armor rather than skin and a helmet and shield. Aragorn has experience slicing through armor anyways not that it would save Leonidas.
N: While Leonidas had strength, Aragorn was significantly faster able to dodge arrows and move faster then some can see, which is faster than Leonidas a normal man could see. Also Aragorn had durability on his side. His armor could take what Leonidas could diss out, and Aragorn was able to survive a cave troll attack which Leonidas couldn't.
P: So a clear win for Leonidas. Out of the 1,000 simulated battles: Aragorn took 866 out of the victories compared to Leonidas' 134.
N: Leonidas got Ara-gored.
G: The winner is Aragorn
Next Time[]
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