Aqua VS RG33 Shoko

“	No matter the time or place, these two could always go for a drink!	„
	~ Tagline

Aqua VS RG33 Shoko is an episode of Death Battle by HyperSsonic, featuring Aqua from the Konosuba series and Shoko from the RG33 series in a battle between chaotic, alcohol loving women.

Interlude[]

Wiz & Boomstick
by Brandon Yates

Wiz: Aqua, the goddess party member from Konosuba.

Boomstick: Shoko, the Heineken loving Jujutsu sorcerer.

Wiz: When it comes to the test of time, there is one thing that has somehow stayed consistent throughout the ages.

Boomstick: And that's the love for good ol' fashioned alcohol! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

Is Aqua actually a Useless Goddess?[]

Wiz: In manga and anime, there exists a subgenre known as isekai, in which there is at least one person who is transported into another world. However, the ways in which they get there can vary.

Boomstick: But probably the most known way of getting there is everyone’s favorite character, Truck-kun. Yeah, you just got to get hit by a damn truck and you get to go into a fantasy world! And I guess Kazuma Satou thought someone else was about to be the next victim of the dreaded truck as he went to save a girl from an incoming vehicle!

Wiz: However, instead of the speeding truck that has appeared in the many different series used to kill off characters, it was nothing more than a slow tractor. And because Kazuma didn’t know this, he risked his life for nothing, and died of a heart attack. Yet, instead of appearing in a new world, he found himself in front of a goddess who gave him numerous choices on what he could do.

Boomstick: This goddess named Aqua started this little bit with Kazuma by laughing at his stupid death, which is funny, but whatever, she gave Kazuma some choices on what to do. Either go to Heaven, reincarnate in Japan without his memories, or do the whole isekai bit being taken to a new world with magic and shit... you can guess which one was chosen.

Wiz: And not only that, but he was allowed to bring one cheat item alongside him, but instead of some super powerful weapon, or even his phone, he decided to be spiteful and choose Aqua as his cheat item, specifically just because she was laughing at him. Which was shockingly allowed.

Boomstick: And you’d think that a goddess by his side, Kazuma would have an easy win over the Devil King that he’d have to fight and save everyone from, but nope! She’s a useless goddess. At least, in a one-on-one fight, because she’s more of a healer than an actual fighter.

Wiz: However, that does not mean she can’t fight, because she does have some equipment such as her staff or the Divine Hagoromo.

Boomstick: The Divine what?

Wiz: The Divine Hagoromo, it’s an item that she carries that will protect her from any type of status ailments that could hit her.

Boomstick: And to then use basic logic, she has something that protects her which is a thing, and then her staff buffs herself or something since it’s something that attacks for her which is a thing?

Wiz: That is actually correct, it enhances her spells, but not only does she have spells, she does also have some form of attack, which is God Blow, and its stronger variant, God Requiem. These two attacks channel all of Aqua’s negative emotions into a devastating blow, one from her fist and one from her staff, to a point where it could even take out one of the Devil King’s generals! The only problem being that against any other foe, they are about as strong as a regular punch.

Boomstick: Yeah, no, if even her punches can’t do shit, then I can see why she’s considered DIO’s favorite word. Well, whatever, at least she has a bunch of spells because she can not only use Heal to, well, heal, but much much like her name, she can even create water! And that’s with the spell... Create Water, man, she can’t even think of a good name for these things, can she?

Wiz: Just because the names aren’t that good, it doesn’t mean the spells she casts aren’t good. Dispel and Break Spell allow her to overpower other spells, the former of which overpowering a curse from a Devil King General. Things like Exorcism and Turn Undead allow her to get rid of the undead, which is very helpful given she is not a fan of them at all. That as well as being able to use Resurrect to bring the recently deceased back to life.

Boomstick: Yeah, and then she can use Blessing to enhance the stats of whoever the spell is directed towards, even at herself. Okay, maybe she isn’t entirely useless.

Wiz: Nature’s Beauty is similar to Create Water, except it is used more as a party trick than an actual attack

Boomstick: I take back what I just said. Hell, her Holy Aura or whatever has it where she is is so physically pure, any liquid that touches her gets purified! And yet somehow she’s a heavy drinker that will do a lot of stupid yet comedic shit when drunk. No, seriously, she drinks so much that her entire party of her, Kazuma, and company are almost in constant debt. Oh, so she’s basically like me! I take back my take back now!

Wiz: Outside of her regular pool of magic, as a goddess, she has access to the Sacred spells, which enhance her already known spells tremendously. Such as how the regular Create Water, when turned to Sacred Create Water, becomes like that of a flood! And given the size of it, and how long it took, the attack would have to yield about 3.9 kilotons of TNT.

Boomstick: Yep, exactly like me when it comes to dumb things and alcohol! And thinking of TNT, Aqua should be comparable and be able to take hits from other spell users like Wolbach, who could make an explosion that will pulverize a hole into the ground! That’d be worth around 19 kilotons of TNT.

Wiz: And not only in power is that good, but in speed, Aqua should be in a similar area as Beldia, who, while fencing, can be fighting at speeds of up to almost mach 108!

Boomstick: So, okay, she isn’t entirely useless, so I guess Kazuma was able to actually get himself a cheat item in the end, at least when she has the mana to cast her spells due to her followers, because while it is a big pool, it can run out. And then she’s as dumb as a rock, and doesn’t really have much combat experience, and has a short temper and attention span, and likes to cry and panic when shit hits the fan, has a god complex, has horrible a horrible luck stat to where if it can go bad, it almost always will, will jump in without thinking, some of her things don’t work against non-undead opponents, and is terrible with money. But, at least she spends it on food and alcohol!

Wiz: Ahem, nevertheless, even if she isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, or is the strongest in the world, she still has a big heart, and will do whatever she can to help. And the fact that she is somehow the most “sane” person out of the Kazuma party is truly something else. Even if being the most “sane” is just the fact that she can be fine hanging around other people without any problems compared to a panty thief, a pyromaniac, and a masochist.

Aqua: What is your problem? I was just trying to help. Don't yell at me! And if I have to make up for it late, it'll just be the same as always: I'm going to get messed up by those Runners and be left crying! I get it, okay?! It happens every time! Go on, IF YOU WANT TO KILL ME, JUST DO IT!!!

Don't take Shoko to Waffle House![]

Boomstick: Jujutsu Kaisen, what’s there to say about this series that has spawned so much shit that it’s basically taken over the world at this point, as well as causing so many people to practically worship the honored one? No, seriously, they’ve made shrines for him.

Wiz: Whether it be fanmade animations of the entire fight between Gojo and Sukuna with a Lady Gaga song playing or of Hakari’s dance, or even fanmade comics, one of the favorites of the internet is to make meme skits of the characters acting out different scenarios.

Boomstick: And one of the most famous groups that do this is the YouTube channel RG33. And this group probably has one of the most varied amounts of skits I’ve ever seen. We got Anya Forger committing tax fraud, Vergil and Dante having a cooking competition, Majima and Kiryu playing Uno, Kobeni and Power having a rap battle, and, of course, the Jujutsu Kaisen skits.

Wiz: Right, and while we don’t have too much information about them, we can go ahead and assume most of the events that happen in the actual world of JJK do happen in the skit version of it as well, and that would mean that we need to explain the things in this world.

Boomstick: Aww man, I was hoping we could just joke around with this bit.

Wiz: Boomstick, if we solely focused on the exact things said in those videos, we would barely have anything to work with in terms of an analysis. So, it’s a must that we do this.

Boomstick: Alright, I get it. So, let’s go ahead and get the big thing out of the way. Let me ask you, do you ever feel negative emotions? Oh, who am I kidding? Of course you do! Yeah, well, whenever a specific reason for the negative emotion exists and is strong enough, it can manifest into a Cursed Spirit.

Wiz: And to combat these Curses, there exist the Jujutsu Sorcerers, who are here to defend against these beings.

Boomstick: Yeah, so there’s no need to ever worry about it, because these sorcerers are here to save you from around the world! Or, at least, maybe around the world, we only ever really see things in Japan.

Wiz: Honestly, I think that’s for the best, because who knows what an American Sorcerer would do with the powers they have in this series? But, that’s a story for another day, because we’re here in Japan, and in Japan, we have a group that is probably the worst friend group ever conceived.

Boomstick: Oh, come on, it isn’t that bad! Because we got the strongest sorcerer who’s broke that is Satoru Gojo, his best friend and Curse summoning Suguru Geto, the only somewhat sane one out of them who is Utahime Iori, and, finally, the alcohol loving and probably only one who could take me on in a beer drinking competition who is also an avid smoker, Shoko Ieiri, at least the RG33 Shoko could have a drinking competition with me.

Wiz: While we don’t know much about Shoko’s full history, we do know that she is at least a second year student at Tokyo Jujutsu High, and is one of the most valuable people there as she knows how to use the Reverse Cursed Technique.

Boomstick: Yeah, not only do negative emotions create Cursed Spirits, but just negative emotions can allow the usage of Cursed Energy. And while some use them in more combative ways with regular Cursed Techniques, the much harder to perform Reverse Cursed Technique allows the user to not only heal themselves, but heal others! Hey, Wiz, have you ever tried using that to get your arm back?

Wiz: Firstly, I’m a scientist, not a sorcerer. Secondly, yeah, I have, but it won’t ever stay on without some experiment having it be cut off again. At least I don’t have to worry about it though, my robotic arm is good enough.

Boomstick: Well, at least you know how to drive! I don’t really know how to though, I cheated on my learner’s permit, just like Shoko did! At least, this version of Shoko did. Ok, now we can get into the funny stuff!

Wiz: You see, once this variation of Shoko gets... drunk, namely from Heineken which she can drink ten packs worth of with no trouble, she starts to have manic episodes.

Boomstick: Drunk manic episodes! Which does imply one for sober ones, but who cares about those? She doesn’t even need to find beer, beer finds her! And because of beer, in the drunk manic episodes, we got her burning buildings, driving through the carnage of a kaiju Grimace from McDonald’s, her standing in front of tanks, her doing a One Piece, and, of course, the Waffle House incident. Or, as she calls it, the Waffle Hoe where she climbed the sign of the place, started dancing, and threw the giant “U” and “S” off of the sign.

Wiz: And somehow that isn’t even on the top of the list, because that was for the Hawaii and dolphin incident. Thinking about it, she doesn’t even have an angel and a devil on her shoulders, no, she has two devils that look like Shoko. Even though one is the intrusive thoughts and the other will sing Hamilton, which is an evil all on its own.

Boomstick: Yeah, Shoko’s fun, she even survived eating a Chicken Fry from Burger King! And those things make you explode! But may Frank the Goat rest in peace. Oh, and Shoko met Santa, or as she called him, Sata. Of course, he’s always at the mall every year. And also Rudolph!

Wiz: Junior, he met Rudolph’s son since the actual Rudolph was in a hit and run done by Gojo since he was going eighty on a residential street. But, at least Santa has some sense in the end of this tragedy since he won’t let the elves make Shoko an Heineken. He even put her on the Naughty List.

Boomstick: Which would prove to be a mistake, since she then had a new goal, and that was to kill Santa! Yeah, she decided to use her own Cursed Technique, well, a Drunkard Cursed Technique, and this one is known as Angry Birds! Where she can summon the Waffle House letters and a slingshot to shoot down any foe! Even Santa on his sleigh, and also cause Rudolph Jr. to get hit with an explosion.

Wiz: The explosion shown was that of the BADGER, fired on April 18, 1953, that had an energy output of 23 kilotons of TNT. And Rudolph survived it, and given Shoko is way more potent than him, she should be able to survive that blast as well.

Boomstick: And Shoko is doing all of this with the power of Heineken, or just alcohol in general, which, as from what we could tell, actually increases her physical abilities as we see her even jump high into the air and even outright fly or levitate! And then perform a Black Flash on command! If you were wondering, a Black Flash is basically what happens when an attack has Cursed Energy applied to it within one-millionth of a second that makes space distort, and when it’s done, it enhances the user even more by allowing them to fight at 120% max potential!

Wiz: To be able to even just perceive at that speed would be at speeds that are massively hypersonic, but Shoko wasn’t just perceiving them at this point, she was reacting to those speeds as well! And she did this consecutively over 40 times! And how she did it from learning boxing from Hajime No Ippo when she was five. All towards Santa.

Boomstick: Well, whatever, she had a thriving time, and who knows what will happen for her in the future? Even if we sorta already know, but with the skits that RG33 pull, we can never be so sure, just as how impulses and casual alcohol drinking are definitely going to be what drive her to do stupid shit, but hey, that’s why we all love this laid back and chill sorcerer! ... Even if she is obsessed with yaoi for some reason.

Shoko: Throughout Buffalo Wild Wings and junk, I alone am the honored drunk.

Prelude[]

Wiz & Boomstick
by Brandon Yates

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. We've run the data through all possibilities.

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!

Death Battle[]

Inside of an old fashioned tavern, there can be seen numerous people surrounding one person, that person being Aqua. Who had numerous shot glasses in front of her. However, while she was doing that, at the bar counter, there stood the bartender with three patrons not focusing on the commotion happening behind them. “For the last time, I’m not selling you beer!” The bartender proclaimed at one of the patrons, which angered her. “Why not!?” The patron who wanted beer was Shoko, who was frustrated at this man not letting her have a beer.

“Firstly, you won’t give me any sort of indication of how old you are. Secondly, you look too young. And third of al-” Before he could finish, Shoko interrupted him. “But can I have ma beer?” And then before the bartender could respond, one of the two others beside her answered. “Shoko, I really don’t think you’re going to be able to get the beer.” Geto told her, as the other with them, Gojo, also chimes in. “Yeah, you aren’t. Just because we ended up here, doesn’t mean you can get beer.”

“How did we even get here?” Geto asks, in which Gojo responds quickly, “I dunno. I think we let Shoko drive, and then there was a truck, and then we found ourselves standing outside of this place. Utahime is taking it well though.” And then a cut to Utahime outside on the ground shaking like a fish out of water is seen before going back to the trio. However, as the bartender continues to try and stop Shoko from letting her fuel her addiction, she ends up grabbing a small glass and throws it in a fit of rage.

And, through just sheer plot relevancy, where she threw the glass ended up hitting Aqua on the head. A quick yelp from the goddess is heard as she turns towards the trio as the crowd around her gets out of her way. “Whoops.” Shoko said, with a smug smile on her face. Aqua quickly berates her for this. “How dare you hit me! Do you not know who I am?” Her tone spoke volumes on how proud of herself she was, only for her ego to be shattered in one word.

“Nope.” Shoko’s blunt answer makes Aqua throw a tantrum of sorts as she continues to berate Shoko. “How do you not know!? I am a goddess! Why is that so hard for everyone to understand?” Her concerns are automatically dismissed by Shoko as she asks her, “Then could you get me a beer?” This, however, gave Aqua an idea. “Alright, I’ll let you have some.” And this, obviously, made Shoko extremely happy as the bartender simply gave up and walked away.

“FUCK YEAAAHHH!!” She screamed as Aqua approached her holding a shot glass out. And, yet, before she could truly give it to Shoko, the latter rips the glass out of her hand before drinking. Yet, she almost instantaneously spat it out, because there was no alcohol in that glass anymore, but water as Aqua had purified it. And Aqua’s laugh is heard through the tavern. But as she laughs, Shoko lets out a sigh. And as Aqua’s laugh continued to be heard, it abruptly ended as Shoko threw a punch, hitting her in the jaw.

Aqua was pushed back through the crowd as Shoko approached her. “W- Wait! What are you doing!?” Aqua said in a panicked tone. However, instead of going after Aqua, Shoko went towards the shot glasses that were still there and downed every single one of the ones that still had alcohol in them in rapid succession. All of this to the crowd’s amazement. All as Aqua gets up after the punch and sees the crowd happy from Shoko’s performance in drinking, which causes her to go on a giant rant.

“WHY IS EVERYONE DISRESPECTING ME!? I DO SOMETHING, AND THEN SOMEONE ELSE DOES IT, AND GUESS WHAT!? I GET IGNORED! I AM A GODDESS FOR PETE’S SAKE, WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!? IF IT WERE UP TO ME, YOU’D BE BANNED FROM EVER HAVING ALCOHOL!” This outburst made the entire place go silent as Shoko looked at Aqua with a death stare.

And in just a split second, Aqua receives yet another punch to the face from Shoko, launching Aqua through the wall of the tavern and out to the street. Aqua tumbles on the ground as she gets up and looks forward at Shoko’s menacing approach as she stumbles back to her feet. But, instead of running, she stood her ground and decided it was a good idea to continue her insults.

“Oh, yeah, real nice idea! Hit the goddess! Go ahead, try it again and I will make sure you don’t get any more drinks!” Shoko stops for a moment as the two devil Shokos on her shoulders appear with Aqua looking confused at their appearance. All three Shokos look at one another for a moment before looking back at Aqua before one of the devils speaks to Shoko. “Kill goddess.” And the main Shoko reciprocates those feelings.

“Kill goddess.” The main Shoko also said, which makes Aqua’s eyes widen. “W- What?” And she could only let out a scream as Shoko rushes at her, all to the amusement of Gojo and Geto with Utahime watching on in horror. “Gojo! What did you do this time!?” Utahime screams at the strongest sorcerer. “Hey, take a chill pill. I didn’t do anything this time.”

“Then why is Shoko getting another assault charge?” Utahime quickly replied, as Shoko continued to go after Aqua who was running from her in the background. “Don’t ask me, blame her, she told Shoko that she can’t have alcohol, and now Shoko’s attacking her.” Gojo replies as Utahime blinks a number of times before she speaks again. “Then why hasn’t she attacked me? I’ve told her to stop drinking a dozen times by now!”

“Maybe she just feels so sorry for you that she thinks it’d be a waste of time.” Geto snickered as Gojo joined in with him while Utahime’s face showed clear signs of anger. But before she could go on a rant about them laughing at her, Aqua flies right past them thanks to another punch from Shoko with Utahime being taken alongside due to the winds from the power of it all. “So, what do you think this one will rank?” Gojo asks Geto who ponders for a moment about the question.

“Well, I think th-” Instead of finishing what he was saying, he starts stuttering before it quickly cuts back to what he was trying to say. “Well, I think that given what’s happened now, eh, just a B tier. It’s nothing like the Christmas incident or the Hawaii one.” And Gojo shrugs at this, “No, no, I’m sure it’ll get better. Look, even the blue haired chick seems mad.” The tone in Gojo’s voice showed amusement as he and Geto looked towards Aqua, who was visibly pissed this time around.

She raises her fist and looks towards Shoko who slowly walks towards her (menacingly). “You see this? This is an attack fueled by a goddess’ rage and sorrow! And you? Oh, you’ve made me really angry! This is what you get for defying a goddess!” Aqua quickly rushes at Shoko with her hand catching ablaze as she readies to throw the punch at Shoko. The punch lands directly onto Shoko’s cheek, making her head turn alongside the punch that had landed.

Aqua, being full of herself, decides to taunt the sorcerer about what she just did. “Yeah! How did you like tha-” Before she could finish what she was saying, Shoko merely looked down at the goddess before throwing another punch at Aqua, this one, however, with enough force to launch Aqua back into the tavern and into a giant beer barrel, causing it to spill out across the tavern. Aqua pushes herself out of it, and swallows the large amount of beer that had entered her mouth.

Shoko enters the tavern as well only to see a flash of light from Aqua, only for when said light to disappear as it shows that Aqua had healed herself from her previous injuries. All of that before she lets out a small hiccup, the alcohol seemingly starting to take effect on her while she stumbles slightly. Shoko rushes towards her again, trying to punch her, but Aqua stumbles back just enough to where Shoko goes right past her and into a different beer barrel with Aqua falling down onto the floor due to the alcohol, landing face first on the ground into more, well, beer.

Instead of automatically pulling herself out of the barrel like Aqua did, Shoko stayed there for a moment, chugging all the beer that she could before getting out of it, showing that she emptied the entire thing. While she did, she looked over at Aqua, who had gotten up from her drunken stumble and now has her staff in hand. “Oh ho! Here’s an attack stronger than the last one! Here! God Requiem!” And from her staff, a burst of mana hits Shoko, pushing her through numerous other of the barrels there.

“*Hic* Take that!” Aqua says smugly as she notices Shoko’s body showing signs of damage, only for them to also go away, much to the goddess’ surprise. “Wha- You can heal too!?” And Shoko gives a shrug with her response. “RCT for the win.” Aqua, despite being drunk now, is still angry about the fact that Shoko was still fighting on, but as she readies herself for another attack, Shoko appears right in front of her. However, something was different, this time she had something in hand. It was a giant letter, a letter from a Waffle House sign.

A loud sound echoes throughout the area as Shoko hits Aqua, launching her far into the air. With a snap of her fingers, the rest of the letters from the Waffle House sign drop from above as a slingshot rises from below all alongside a Heineken that dropped into her hand. “Aww, look, she’s doing it again.” Gojo said, watching Shoko chug the beer before readying all of the letters. “Drunkard Cursed Technique: Angry Birds!” She yells, shooting some of the letters above towards Aqua.

However, this would prove to not work very well as Aqua was able to land on one of the letters as she calls out to all of her worshipers. “Hear my prayer, help my cause, and show thy power!” A circle is drawn around herself on top of the letter, enhancing her own power before she cries out. “SACRED CREATE WATER!” And as she said that, a portal way above her brings down a flood of water, covering all the letters in water that had already been thrown and pushing them back down as she laughs loudly, seemingly due to the alcohol again.

Shoko, however, stays determined and shoots out the final letter while jumping up onto it. She approaches Aqua who readies herself. “THIS ONE WILL BE THE END OF YOU!” She said, seemingly getting ready for one final God Blow as Shoko started bobbing and weaving like she was shown in Hajime No Ippo. And as Aqua yelled out “GOD BLOW,” Shoko quietly said two words as well, “Black Flash.” Their two fists having been powered up collide in the air, letting out a shockwave.

However, there was no power struggle in this encounter as while Aqua tried to push against Shoko, she tried to take a step forward, only to have her luck be truly horrible as she steps on some water and slips. This allows Shoko to take advantage and push Aqua’s arm back before using her other hand and doing yet another Black Flash. And then another, and then another, and just an outright barrage of Black Flashes as Aqua could only stay there and take every single hit from Shoko.

Eventually, after every single one of the hits, Aqua, bloodied, looks up at Shoko and asks her a question. “What are you?” In which Shoko doesn’t answer before lifting her up and then throwing her downwards to the ground, not without one final Black Flash to push her downwards to the ground quicker. And the last thing Aqua hears from Shoko is “Throughout Buffalo Wild Wings and junk, I alone am the honored drunk.” And then all Aqua can do is scream while falling to the ground, with her landing causing a giant explosion on the ground, pushing away any water that was once around her.

Aqua laid there on the ground, barely able to move, but, as she faintly looked up, she noticed there being some sort of black box next to her. In fact, there were multiple of them, and they were the Waffle House signs. She could only look upwards once again as she sees the final letter floating in the air alongside Shoko before screaming out to her as tears fill her eyes. “GO ON, KILL ME IF YOU WANT TO! JUST DO IT!”

All Aqua hears in response is a belch and then an “Okay” from Shoko, not expecting her to actually go through with it. “W- WAIT! D- D- DON’T DO IT!” But, it was too late, Shoko flips backwards and does one final Black Flash to the last letter she was on top of, forcing it down through the air at blistering speeds, as Aqua’s screams continue to fill the air until the letter lands directly on top of her, crushing her body as blood spewed out from where the once living goddess was, covering the nearby grass and letters with her blood.

And what did the letters spell? Well, they spelt the infamous “Waffle Hoe” as Shoko lands on top of the letter that had the dead goddess under it before laughing. “WAFFLE HOE, MOTHERFUCKER!” She said as she began dancing atop of the letter alongside the two devils on her shoulders both doing the same.

Although one mimicked her dancing, the other just began singing Hamilton. “And if there’s a reason I’m still alive when so many have died, then I’m willing to... Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, wait for it.” And it just kept repeating itself with the last three words for a while before it cuts back to the tavern as Gojo, Geto, and Utahime stand there. “So, what’s the rating?” Gojo asks as Geto shrugs.

“Eh, it was mostly reused materials from the Christmas one, but it was still funny. So, A tier.” Geto replied as Utahime is stammering at what she is trying to say, all while Kazuma and party all appear at the tavern as Kazuma’s face showed clear signs of being frustrated. “I swear, if Aqua did this, I’m going to kill her.” Too bad for him, because he doesn’t know that he won’t get the ability to since she’s already dead.

K.O![]

Results[]

Boomstick: Yeesh, I don’t think they’re going to be able to put that sign back up, wherever it came from.

Wiz: This fight was relatively simple to figure out given the stats of both combatants, Shoko was just ever so slightly stronger, given someone much weaker than her survived things that had a yield of 23 kilotons of TNT. While things much stronger than Aqua had attacks that only had a yield of around 19 kilotons.

Boomstick: Yeah, and speed was in a similar vein of simplicity. Aqua can get to speeds of 108 times the speed of sound, meanwhile Shoko’s speed is also in that massively hypersonic range. Although we don’t have an exact number.

Wiz: Because someone ended up spilling beer onto all of the papers and everything.

Boomstick: Which was definitely not me, but, at minimum, Shoko would be mach 100, which would be just slightly slower than Aqua. Although, if you wanted to use the high ends for it, Shoko could reach speeds of mach 1000! Far surpassing anything Aqua has.

Wiz: Although, you can’t count Aqua out just yet, she still had her spells, which could slowly wear down the sorcerer to some degree. And, even if she got hurt, she could easily heal herself with said spells. Or even increase her own power, although we don’t know exactly how much it’d increase, but it’s at least by a small bit.

Boomstick: Yeah, but even then when it comes to healing, Shoko’s own healing is way better for a one-on-one encounter. Because while Aqua can resurrect someone, that’s someone else, she couldn’t bring herself back to life, and even with her own heal, it takes time to a degree and can only heal minor injuries. Meanwhile RCT can literally grow back limbs! Yeah, sorry, goddess, but turns out a good portion of your spells are just like you here! AKA, useless!

Wiz: Not just that, but the fact that Shoko has more combat experience than Aqua does not help the goddess here in any capacity.

Boomstick: Well, at least some things could stop Shoko like the Sacred Create Water that could push her away from Aqua... until the slingshot and Waffle House sign came into play and evened the distance game.

Wiz: Aqua tried her best to prove that she wasn’t useless, but she simply couldn’t compete with Shoko’s speed, strength, and overall somehow higher addiction to alcohol was too much for the archpriest.

Boomstick: I guess you could say that Aqua got washed. At least we don’t got to hear any of her wine-ing anymore!

Wiz: The winner is RG33 Shoko.

Comparison[]

Aqua[]

+ More abilities

+ Possibly slightly faster...

+ Can heal wounds...

= Loves alcohol

- Way weaker

- ... but also possibly way slower

- ... but not as good as Shoko's

- Way less experienced

- Probably less intelligent

- Some spells would be useless here

Shoko[]

+ Possibly way faster...

+ More potent healing

+ Stronger

+ More experienced

+ Likely more intelligent despite cheating on things