Note![]
Innocent readers out there, if you do NOT appreciate the act of women ripping off their shirts as males. DO NOT READ THIS BATTLE! Or…you could just skip Angela’s analysis. Ok you have been warned!
Summary[]
Black butler VS Kid Icarus Will the genderbent angel purify everyone's favourite mexicanish angel, or will Pittoo strike victory?
Interlude[]
Wiz: Angels are usually portrayed as good natured beings who bring joy and luck to all those around us! Always helping us humans!
Boomstick: LOL NOPE! We’re going to violate this stereotype and pitch these to typical “fallen angels” against each other!
Wiz: Like Ash Landers or Angela Blac, the fallen angel
Boomstick: And good old d-pitty, the doppelgänger of pit also Kyoko’s love interest.
Dark pit: SHUT UP! SHE IS NOT MY LOVE INTEREST
Boomstick: says the angel who’s blushing
Wiz: I’m wizard and he’s Boomstick. And it’s our job to analyse their strengths, armour and skill to see who would win a death battle
Rules[]
- Dark pit is only allowed to use his staff and arsenal from ssb4
- Ash/ Angela is allowed to switch gender during the battle
- Darkyoko will be *strangling sound
- In the notes, the first combatant will be referred as Angela (as when first introduced, the angel was called Angela
- If you hungry, you can go buy a cheeseburger ^-^
Angela Blanc & Ash Lander[]
Wiz: disguised as the maid of the Barrymore estate
Boomstick: ugh…practically all the demons and the other supernatural freaks are always disguised as a servant or something.
Wiz: in front of others she acted like a passive innocent maid who was prone to being beaten.
Boomstick: Like Virgo
Wiz: But only to Pluto and the master, she acted as if she was the master
(cues the scene when Finny and Meyrin see Pluto and Angela ‘interacting’ with each other)
Boomstick: like virg…
Wiz: Shut up about Virgo! Before the Phamtomhive people left the mansion, Sebastian noticed something a bit off…about Angela
Angela: I hope you had a great time here…*she smirks* demon
Sebastian turns his head and glares at her.
Wiz: Sooner or later, we met her male counterpart, Ash Landers
Boomstick: wait…wait…WHAT THE F*CK! So that means….Angela’s transgender?!
Wiz: uh…no. You see she or he or actually they are one person put together in one body. There’s no difference really, just that Angela is more passive and Ash is more aggressive. But no she’s not transgender, think of her as more of a hermaphrodite
Boomstick: hermaphro-what? Oh so like a clownfish! OH yeah fun fact: finding nemo’s all about incest!
Wiz:…thanks Boomstick, you completely ruined my childhood.
Boomstick: No problem, like any other generic angel, Angela has wings. And don’t worry people, they’re functioning! Her wings can sprout out deadly feathers that can be used as projectiles. These wings can be used for agility and escaping at tough situations.
Wiz: Angela has her Angel cry, which as the capabilities of shattering large objects
Boomstick: wait…I thought angels had sweet voices?
(cues the scene where the fallen angel screeches but static suddenly appears and the weeping angel is attack the camera)
Boomstick: Argh kill it with fire! Oh wait we can’t
Wiz: I guess this is one of Deadpool’s attack…
Deadpool: what up b*tches!
Boomstick: get the f*ck out of here
Deadpool: well as you can see I am…
*strangling sound is heard* Dark pit: YOU owe me
Boomstick: But you owe Kyoko a kiss
Wiz: As a fallen angel, Angela can rewrite memories, with this ability, she can corrupt other humans and beings. And this can cause much chaos. Also, she can purify souls…which is practically their job.
Ash: Your soul…it’s impure, allow me to..
Victoria pushes his hand away.
Victoria: no, I want to be close with my husband
Boomstick: to purify souls, all she has to do is shine like a firework, potentially blind people and voila! Dead but completely ‘pure’ souls!
Wiz: Her fighting abilities have been enhanced as she is a super natural being. As well as her strength and speed, Angela has survived multiple spears piercing through her body and a church collapsing ON TOP OF HER!
Boomstick: she’d make a pretty damn good wife, too bad ash exists
Wiz: When Angela reverts to her male form, Ash landers. Ash (yes we had to switch) overtime can become chaotic. His madness causes him to become significantly stronger but forces him to choose offensive over defensive.
Boomstick: But his anger can make him uncontrollable and sometimes arrogant. And then he underestimates his opponents and then….
(cues the scene when ash landers dies)
Ash: filthy, filthy, filthy
Wiz: Sometimes the purification of souls may be overkill for ash and Angela combined.
Ash: oh you don’t want to work for me, well then…
(ash rips off his/her shirt, exposing his/ her breasts)
Ash and Angela at the same time: then we will seduce you AS A WOMAN!
Dark pit[]
Wiz: Created from the mirror of truth, Dark pit was born to become the perfect replica of the skyworld army’s greatest warrior, Pit, and was to fight for the underworld army.
Boomstick: but the results f*cked up causing Pittoo to rebel and trigger more chaos for all three armies. Talk about a trouble-maker.
Wiz: unlike his original, dark pit can fly for an infinite period of time. At the same time he can multi-task and shoot arrows made of dark energy at opponents…
Boomstick: Dark pit has his staff, which works a bit like zelda’s light arrows in smash. Although this can be used for snipping opponents from who are a far distance from him.
Wiz: his ordinary dark arrows are like a pathetic peashooter but still can be used to spam opponents. And he has his electroshock arm, which can cause electrical damage and can reflect projectiles.
Boomstick: Pitoo…
Dark pit: ok, seriously stop calling me that
Boomstick: fine fine d-pit…
Dark pit: not th…
*strangling sound is heard*
Wiz: whew, that’s enough fourth wall damage. His guardian orbiters can be used for deflecting projectiles and strong attacks. It can also can be used to push opponents away from him.
Boomstick: as a clone of pit, Pittoo has his silver bow, which can shoot those arrows and can be transformed into two blades. These blades can be used for attack opponents who are too close to Dark pit. A good thing for personal space, although we all know zelda’s neutral special is best for personal space.
(cues scene where ssb4 pittoo is running towards Zelda. Zelda notices him and uses Nayru’s love to push him away.)
Wiz: Pittoo has been giving some athletic straining and his wings provide agility in the air.
Boomstick: the sad part is that dark pit is evil…
Palutena: but the problem is that dark pit is so evil and destructive that we can’t turn a blind eye.
Boomstick: Shut up! No one asked you to come help you stupid green bit-
Wiz: as well as his chaotic personality, Dark pit can get cocky and he can take on BIG tasks that may extract much energy from him.
(Cues the scene where dark pit kicks the big thing and it takes it down.)
Dark pit: ugh, I guess I overdid it.
Wiz: Now a feared officer of the forces of Nature, all the gods fear the clone of the greatest warrior of skyworld.
Boomstick: dark pit
The mirror shatters causing dark pit to exit the mirror.
Dark pit:…hey…
Pre death battle[]
Wiz: ok the combatants are set, let’s end this debate once and for all
Boomstick: IT’S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
Death battle[]
Dark pit is sitting on the edge of Big Ben, when he hears footsteps. He stands up and separates his silver bow into two blades.
Dark pit: Who’s there?!
Footsteps and a tutting noise came from the hallway.
Angela: tsk tsk tsk, you are a disgusting creature
Dark pit: shut up!
Angela: I must purify you, your soul is filthy
Dark pit: not if I pulverise you first.
Angela sprouts her wings and smirks confidently.
FIGHT!
Angela released a cry that triggered dark pit to cover his ears.
Dark pit: argh so loud!
Angela wrapped her wings around her body and spun once, releasing a cascade of sharp feathers at Dark pit. In the nick of Dark pit summoned his orbitars and some feathers cracked on impact. One managed to scrape his leg, causing blood to trickle from the scratch. Angela smirked and flicked her hair.
Angela: Fool, I am a fallen angel! No impure soul can defeat me
Dark pit reattached his silver bow and launched an arrow at her. Angela caught the arrow with her right hand and rushed to punch Dark pit, but he sidestepped and elbowed her in the face. He pulled out his electro-shock arm and uppercutted the white angel. Angela cried in pain as she was stunned by the electricity. Dark pit ran to Angela and slashed her leg with the tip of his silver bow. Dark pit then accessed his flight and tried to leave the battle field.
Angela: I don’t think so
She spread her wings and flew after the dark angel. Dark pit pulled out his bow and began shooting his arrows at the fallen angel. Angela agley avoided the arrows all but one. It was aimed at her head and she placed her arms in a protective ‘X’ shape, causing the arrow to crack into pieces.
Dark pit: ch…it failed.
The emo angel continuously fired his dark arrows at Angela, who was spinning and destroying the arrows on contact. Angela twirled once, releasing barrage of sharp feathers aiming at his wings. Dark pit flew swiftly to the left side and Angela turned her head twice.
Angela: where are you…
A dark light caught the fallen angel’s eye and she ducked. Dark pit was on a building, with his staff.
Meyrin: HEY!
Dark pit saw Meyrin next to him, with her sniping rifles next to him
Dark pit: what are you doing here?
Meyrin: I’ve got a better question, what are YOU doing here. That’s MY sniping spot.
Dark pit: Can I borrow it?
Meyrin: No….
Meyrin pushes dark pit off her sniping spot. Dark Pit falls on Angela. Causing both angels to plummet to the ground.
Angela: god you’re heavy.
Dark pit shut up!
Dark pit hops off Angela as she was glowing and transformed to ash.
Ash: My luna form has let me become weaker…but I assure you…I will bring more pain.
Dark pit: bring it…
Ash rushes to dark pit and throws him at a brick wall. Ash pulled out a book and began trying to rewrite dark pit’s memory but dark pit pierced the page of his book with an arrow. Ash’s eyes turned dark. His pupils turned into slits and looked like holes of hell. Ash flies in the air.
Ash: YOU…
His wings begin shimmering
Ash: SHALL…
Ash: BE….
Ash was now shining as bright as the moon
ASH: PURI…
Dark pit blindly shoots his dark pit staff at Ash’s right wing. Ash fell over, with his wing bleeding profusely.
Ash: no…
Ash cried in pain as dark pit fired another shot at his other wing. Ash released another piercing cry, Dark pit whipped his leg and shut ash’s jaw up.
Dark pit: Shut up, I may be a dirty soul. But you turning into a girl and into a guy….that’s just wrong
Ash: why does everyone say that!
Dark pit pinned ash down and used the electroshock uppercut on Ash’s head. Bones began to crack from the neck…Ash cried in pain as his head was forcefully ripped from his body and his headless body was fried.
KO!
Dark pit: ugh *wipes off the blood of the angel from his electroshock.
Ciel: nice work…for a fallen angel
Dark pit: what’s that supposed to mean
Ciel: listen boy, I’m…
Dark pit: you hypocrite…you’re a kid too
Ciel: LISTEN TO ME! My best friend’s cousin died and I proposed that I would find an assassin for him. Although my attempts have failed and…
Dark pit:…wait…is your best friend nico di angelo
Ciel nods his head
Dark pit: my friend, I think she can be convincable…
Death battle analysis[]
Boomstick: oh yeah! That death was awesome!
Wiz: Despite Angela having the superior with her angel cry, which was something that dark pit has not encountered in his experience
Boomstick: minus smash run
(cues scene where Boomstick is playing smash run as pittoo and runs into a tied up clubberskull
Boomstick: aww…I feel sorry for it *breaks the chain*
The clubberskull cries and pittoo is motionless
Boomstick: OH SHIT OH SHIT RUUUUUUUUUUUUN!)
Wiz: yes minus smash run. The shining purification soul was a detriment for Angela, like last time, she was so wrapped up with purifying souls that Will was able to pierce her arms and wings
Boomstick: Angela may have had more experience in fighting than dark pit, but his tenacity and sheer luck managed to take over, taking down one of Angie’s win
Wiz: IN the end, the shining purification was much more difficult to recharge as Dark pit eliminated one wing
Boomstick: In the end, Angela couldn’t wing it…
Aqua: Dude that sucked
Wiz: (sigh) the winner is dark pit
Next time on death battles[]
Phosphora was looking tentatively around.
Phosphora: JAY WALKER! I have come to give your punishment
A blue blur flickered through the trees
Jay: Oh really what for
Phosphora: you have caused much strife for the spirits. They WILL be avenged.
The forest was silent, Phosphora felt a bead of sweat form under her right brow.
Phosphora: Jay walker?!
Jay: Yes you called?
Aqua: WOHOO! Finally season finale! And yes I’m using Jay and phosphora again. Now I know what you’re thinking. “Oh aqua it’s a stomp!” Well then smartypants I’ll make sure that Jay has his arsenal from the very first ninjago thingy! So yeah…all my battles are connected and read this blog to understand. Until next time!